Original subtitles

Come and knock on our door. Come and knock on our door. We've been waiting

you. We've been waiting for you.

Where the kisses are heard and heard and here's three company two.

Come and dance on our floor.

Come and dance on our floor. Take a step that is new.

Take a step that is new.

We've a love of old space that needs your face. Three company two.

You'll see that life is a ball again after it's gone for you.

Down at our rendezvous. Down at our rendezvous.

Three company two.

I never cooked a chicken before.

You never cooked anything before.

Popcorn.

Okay. I think the stuffing's ready.

There's the chicken. Here, you stuff it. I'll make the salad.

Okay.

The other end, Janet.

the earth i mean you're a nurse oh come on you can do it but terry i okay

oh wait i didn't pour oregano in gosh how much should i use a pinch is all you

need and a pinch is what you're gonna get get out of here we

promised you a home -cooked meal and we can't be cooking it while you're

standing here bothering it hey hey i'm not gonna bother you not after seeing

what you're doing to that poor chicken

Your date with Francesca. How did it go? Larry, I spent the whole night fighting

off the sexiest girl in the world.

You didn't.

You're right. I surrendered.

You are a very lucky man.

Tell me, tell me. Are you going to see her again? Well, as a matter of fact,

did want to get together tonight.

Yeah? But I promised to have dinner with the girls. But you... Hold it.

Let me get this straight.

You had a fantastic time with Francesca. She's begging to see you again, and

you're having dinner with the girls?

That's right.

Jack, we've been friends for years. If you want to keep a secret from me,

okay. If you want to lie to me, that's okay, too. But don't insult my

intelligence.

He expects me to believe he's having dinner with a girl. Would you give me

Get out of here, Larry.

Hello?

Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Angelino. No, no, no. That, uh, that was crazy Larry. He likes

to play with phones.

He told me there's going to be a meat cutter strike at midnight. You know what

that means? Uh -huh. There's going to be a lot of happy cows tonight.

No, no, no, no.

That means that if I don't want to run out of meat, I've got to go down to the

market and pick up a side of beef.

Now? What about our dinner, Jack? No problem. Just put it on a low flame.

be back in an hour. Jack, wait a minute.

What? Are you going to get all that beef in your refrigerator?

No. Mr. Angelino said I could hang it in his freezer while his restaurant is

closed for vacation.

I've got to call a cab.

in a cab?

Yeah. And he makes us take the bus.

Uh, this might sound like a silly question, but, uh, how large is your

No, no, no, no. I don't have any luggage. Just a side of beef.

That's right. And I... Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Oh, that's great.

Just great.

Hi, Jack.

I was just calling to remember...

No, I was going to ask you to drive downtown to help me pick up something.

Jack, you should know by now that you and I do not pick up the same thing.

Mr. Furley... Forget it, Jack.

I'm going down to the Beagle. Good. Maybe you'll run into that rich widow.

Rich widow?

Yeah, you know that cute blonde who moved in across the street?

I never noticed.

Well, she sure as heck noticed you. She keeps asking me all these questions

about that sexy Mr.

Furley. What kind of questions? I'll tell you all about it on our way

It smells like a slaughterhouse.

Do you know the back seat of my car has never been used before?

I can believe that.

Now, can you swing around so I can unlock the freezer?

No, Mr. Curley, the other way.

Mr. Curley, would you go back the other way?

All right, stop, stop. Don't move, don't move.

You're just lucky I didn't get a traffic ticket. Hey, I didn't tell you to run

the red light.

What else could I do with a pack of dogs chasing us?

Let's just get them in the freezer so we can get out of here. Come on.

Easy, easy.

Okay, okay, now put your end down.

All right, okay, here's the hook.

On the count of three. Ready? One, two, three.

All right, to me, Mr. Purley.

Come on.

Easy, easy, easy. Wait, wait, wait. Here we...

This place is cold enough to hang meat.

Okay, hand over your money.

What? This is a hold up.

Hold up.

Knock it off. Give me your wallet.

Okay, all right. Just don't get nervous, okay?

Now you.

I don't have a wallet.

I carry my money in my sock.

Except this watch.

Now turn around and get in there. In the freezer? Move!

He's leaving.

What? Oh, boy, that's a relief.

For a minute I thought he was going to make us go with him.

He locked us in. Yeah, he locked us in.

if they were, they couldn't hear you.

The door is made of solid steel. Sound can't get through. What? Yeah, this

freezer is sealed airtight.

Oh.

You know why?

Because Janet and Terry know where I went, all right? And when I don't show

for dinner, they'll come looking for me, okay?

Right, right. All right, so the important thing to do is just stay warm

they get here, okay? Warm, warm, warm.

Yeah, all right.

Warm thoughts.

Warm thoughts.

What? It's a matter of mind over matter.

See, I want to think real warm thoughts.

Oh, good thinking.

I'm sitting in the middle of Miami Beach.

His tongue is beating down on me. Way to go, R .F.

Boy, I'm starting to sweat now.

Yeah, it's real hot there, huh?

Yeah, it would be if it wasn't for that damn wind blowing.

Who's keeping him? I don't know, but I'm worried.

Well, would you feel any better if we went out and looked for him? Yeah, I

would, but I don't even know where we should start looking.

Well, let me see his laptop with Angelino. Okay, let's go down there.

what about the... Come on, we'll just go down and check it out. Okay.

All right.

Come on. Keep moving, Mr. Furley.

I'm too cold to exercise. No, come on. That's the way to create body heat and

stay warm.

Look at me.

I'm working up a sweat. I'm actually getting hot.

Want me to hold your jacket for you?

Look at these, Mr. Curley. What about them?

You know, if we had some matches, we could build a fire.

Matches? I've got some matches somewhere.

You do?

Yeah.

Right here.

Great. It's part of my job.

How do you think I'd check for gas leaks?

Darn, I've only got one match left.

One is all we need. I'm going to show you a little trick I learned in the Boy

Scout. Now we're cooking.

You ready for the mash?

Not quite yet.

Oh, sorry.

Hey, there's a light in the kitchen.

It's Janet and Terry. We're saved.

We're saved.

Terry, look at this. Jack's Bistro, one -sided beef, $468.

This is Jack's receipt.

Well, at least we know that he made it here.

We must have just missed him. Oh, he's probably at home right now wondering

where we are.

Good old Janet and Terry. I told you they'd figure out where we were. I knew

could count on them.

I can't believe they just left us. We were so close to being saved.

Come on, Jack.

We made it this far.

Surely we can hold out until they open up in the morning.

Mr. Furley, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.

What's that?

This restaurant is closed for vacation.

It's not going to be open for another week.

A week?

Jack, you must be wrong. What?

Do you know what we're going to look like in a week?

Jack? Jack, are you home?

Jack?

Jack?

He's not here.

Then where is he?

Let me see. If he's not at Angelino's and he's not here...

Harry. I'm really kind of worried.

Hi,

girls. Oh, Mary, hi. Have you seen Jack?

No, not since earlier tonight.

Oh, that's what I was afraid of. The last thing he told us was that he was

downtown to pick up a side of beef.

That's no way to talk about Jack's date.

Larry,

we are talking about a cow.

It doesn't matter what she looked like.

he couldn't stay away.

Stay away from what?

Francesca. Who is Francesca? A date, Terry. What do you think?

I never said that.

Is that Jack?

How could he do this to us? Look, let's just forget about him. Let's just have

our dinner and go to bed.

Sounds good to me.

Larry,

you promised to behave. You can have dinner with us. Yeah, if you behave.

Hey, thanks very much. What are we having? Roast stuffed chicken.

Wow. That sounds great.

You know, this is a real treat.

A poor bachelor like me doesn't get a home -cooked meal too often. Why don't

get married?

I've never been that hungry.

I hope you like your chicken well done.

What did you use, a flamethrower?

I just remembered. I promised to meet a hamburger down at the Regal Beagle.

Well, that's all the more for us. Yeah!

Well, Terry, why don't you dig in?

Are you crazy?

Well, if this isn't just great.

Here we are sitting here starving while Jack's out.

Hi, Jack.

I guess I left you there for a minute.

Are we still alive?

Yes. Oh, good.

But if you go to sleep now, you'll never wake up.

Stay awake, Mr. Pearly. Keep alert, okay?

I'm alert.

I'm alert.

Good, good.

Jack, what's that burning in the fireplace?

What?

Right there next to the stove.

Mr. Brown, come on. Snap out of it. Come on.

You're starting to hallucinate. I am? Oh, then the end must be near.

Don't talk like that. Somebody's bound to come along.

We'll be frozen solid by the time that happens. You mustn't give up hope.

But there's nothing we can do, Jack.

Yes, there is.

We can huddle together.

together. To keep warm, it's either that or freeze to death.

Did Jack come home yet? No, not yet. Oh, then we're in big trouble.

What kind of trouble?

I just left the Beagle. I wasn't planning on staying that late, but

Gretchen walked in. I thought she didn't want to see me again, but she was all

over me. I want to tell you, that chick... Did you get to the point? Okay,

I saw Francesca there.

So? So!

She hasn't seen Jack all day.

Oh, no!

I knew there was something wrong, Larry. I just knew it. Okay, okay, girls,

let's not overreact.

Probably fine. It's a big city. He could be almost anyplace.

Yeah, you're right.

Have you checked the morgue?

Make sure he's not there.

Oh, let me honestly... Yes?

I'm sorry to bother you folks this time of night.

What is it?

We would like you to identify a Jack Tripper.

Identify?

Jack's dead.

Oh, my God.

Jack's dead. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Who said anything

about dead?

Bring him in.

Oh, he's alive!

He's not Jack.

Who is he?

Well, we found him prowling around the building, but he didn't look anything

like his driver's license.

That's Jack's wallet.

All right, where'd you get it? I know my rights. I'm not talking.

You gotta think positive.

You're right.

Think positive.

You got a pencil?

What for?

To make out my will.

I'm

leaving

everything to you.

Is there something wrong with that?

No, I'm just touched.

Well, you know, Jack, I never did tell you this, but... Well,

you're all right.

Well, not all right.

But you're all right.

Thanks, R .F.

Did I ever tell you I... Almost got married once.

Oh. Yeah, back in WWII.

I nearly wound up with a German girl.

Her name was Helga.

You served overseas?

No, I served at her father's delicatessen in Queens.

I was 4F.

4FRF?

Well,

what happened with you and Helga?

Oh, nothing.

She ran off with a salami salesman.

Maybe I should have married, though.

Kind of sorry I never had children.

Really? Yeah.

You know, if I had a son, Jack, I'd want him to turn out just like you.

You mean that?

Sure, why not?

Mr. Furley.

There's something that I should tell you. What's that?

You know, all these years I've always said that I was...

Yeah.

Well, I'm not.

You're not?

You mean you like girls?

I had to fool you. It's all right, Jack.

It's all right.

Are we still friends?

Friends?

To the end.

You know my one big regret in life?

What's that?

I never got to see Alaska.

that jack got delirious in there if i hadn't calmed him down he would have

cracked up completely

oh

it is so good to be home just point me toward the kitchen the kitchen yeah all

the way home i kept thinking about that wonderful chicken you were cooking for

dinner

It's too late for you to eat. You kidding me? I'm starving.

Jack, you can't eat on an empty stomach. Christ.

Yeah, and, oh, Jack, we want to hear all about Frances. Oh, yeah, tell us all

about her.

Well, there's nothing to tell. She's gorgeous.

Oh, really?

She's gorgeous. Oh, Jack, and you gave up seeing her to spend an evening with

us? Why not? You two were worth it.

Oh.

Sure. I mean, she's so pretty, she can get all the dates she wants, while you

poor girls...

You know what I mean.

Poor girl. Yeah, you know, Terry, on second thought, I don't think it's too

for Jack to eat.

Right.

What is that?

Eat!

Three's company was videotaped in front of a studio audience.