All language subtitles for archie_bunker_s_place_s04e15_three_women

That sounds like Harry's truck, Steph.
You'd better hurry. Archie's back.

Okay, I'm ready.

Wait. No, I'm not. I forgot my hair
dryer.

Well, why don't you just leave one thing
behind so we know you'll be back?

Oh, come on. I see you're back.

Where's the kids, Archie? We've got to
beat that traffic.

I mean, every college kid in the city's
going to be driving out there to the

Hamptons for another weekend of groping.

Will you stop complaining?

You didn't have to drive.

Stephanie's grandmother did offer to
hire a car to pick her up. Oh, no, no,

car. Gee, it's bad enough she's going
out there for a whole week in

without driving out in a limousine.

Yeah, imagine the humiliation.

Hey, listen to this humiliation.

Driving along in one of them big, long
funeral cars.

All the people in the streets gawking at
you.

And sneering at you through the mirror
is a high -toned colored guy in a cap.

All right, good night, kid.

Is that really why you're taking
Stephanie?

Or are you just a wee bit curious to see
the house?

Oh, come on, I don't give a damn about
Estelle Harris's hurdy -turdy magic.

Hey, come on, Uncle Archie, let's get a
move on.

Get the bags here. Geez, I don't see why
you have to go out there for a week.

Wouldn't overnight be enough?

Have a good time.

Okay, thanks.

I want to spend all the time I can with
Grandma.

This time I'm going to ask Grandma all
the questions I can about my mother.

Something wrong?

No, no, no.

What? No, I mean, nothing I can't
handle.

All right.

Bye -bye.

Yeah, bye.

Yeah, bye.

Leaning on the best. This better be
important.

Deliveries in the rear.

I told you.

Oh, you must be Stephanie.

Is this man bothering you?

No, he's my Uncle Archie.

You're the one I've been hearing so much
about.

Archie Bunker. The very same there, sis.
Hold it, hold it. Poor kid.

I'm coming in.

By the way, we ain't poor, see?

I make a good living, we live pretty
good.

Of course, we ain't got no old family
restrainer opening the door.

You're finally here.

Hi, Grandma.

Sorry we're late. Uncle Archie had
trouble with Harry's truck.

You brought this little angel out here
in a truck?

What do you think he is, a sack of
potatoes?

You see that?

You know something, lady? You're
beginning to get on my nerves.

Archie, this is Mrs. Isaacson, and she
has been with me for years.

Yeah, that shows.

You ain't no Ricardo Montalbem, you
know.

Where are the bags?

Oh, they're on the stoop there, Estelle.
Maybe you could have your servant here

and go and get them, huh?

And be careful of the stripey one. He's
got a broken head. Where's she going up

the stairs?

Albert will get the bags later.

Oh, Stephanie, it's so good to see you.

You too, Grandma. You know, this house
is really fantastic.

Yeah, you said a mouthful there, kid.
No, it truly is there, Estelle. Gee,

a beautiful place. Look at the staircase
there. Well, thank you, Archie. I find

it very comfortable.

This must be a relationship, huh? Very
interesting.

Gee, what a lovely place, huh?

Now, listen.

The kid's going to be asking you a lot
of touchy questions. She told me so.

Whatever you do, don't let her mother
was in the family way before she got

married. You think you have to tell me
that?

Oh, no, I ain't worried about you, but
you's got a lot of people running in and

out of here, you know? People talk,
especially this one over here with the

mouth. And she's got big ears, too.

Oh, okay, honey, look, I gotta be on my
way. Just remember this, that after your

week of putting on a ritzy, you're gonna
have to come home to your old plain

folks, Uncle Archie. How could she
forget that? Let me show you the door.

Yeah, I can see the door.

Honey, just a little word of advice.

You know, you can talk to your grandma
all you want, but don't say much to your

old bad kid, you know?

I haven't been to see you for a whole
week, so give me a nice little kiss.

Goodbye, Archie. Yes, yes. Goodbye,
Estelle, and I'll be seeing you soon.

And you, goodbye forever.

Now. Luella, would you get Albert?

Sure. Albert!

Albert's a little hard of hearing.

Albert! Oh, this is going to be such
fun.

First, I've invited some friends for
dinner tonight.

Just because I couldn't wait to show you
all.

Will there be a lot of people?

No. There'll be Lauren and Ira Epstein.
He's my banker. And my neighbor's

General Thompson and his wife.

Banker and a general here?

All in your honor.

And, of course, there'll be your cousin
Sophie.

Who's Sophie?

You don't remember Cousin Sophie?

We... She and your mother... Oh,
Stephanie.

It has been a long time, hasn't it?

Well, the really important thing is that
you're here.

And nothing is going to be allowed to
spoil that.

Please tell me you just have to use the
bathroom.

Yeah, I gotta do that. But, I mean, it
ain't killing me yet.

The important thing is I gotta use your
telephone.

No. Uh, Harry's truck. It won't go.

How I wish you hadn't said that.

What's the matter with it?

I don't know, honey.

I ain't Mr.

Goodwench. All I know is I gotta put my
hand in my own pocket that freaks

Harry's clunk.

It's Sunday.

We won't be able to find a mechanic in
Manhattan.

Then how am I supposed to get back to
Astoria? Well, my neighbor, General

Thompson, has a fable full of horses. Do
you ride?

I would never under no circumstances put
a large animal between my legs.

I'm sorry I brought it in.

I found Albert asleep halfway up the
ladder.

Are you still here?

No, lady, I'm just a pigment of your
imagination.

Albert, this is Mr.

Bunker. Would you help him get his truck
started?

His duck did what?

Seems I'd be better off with a horse.

No, Albert.

He has a truck.

I saw the truck. Where's the duck?

Chunk the duck. Fix the truck.

Okay, I'll get my ladder.

Albert came to the house.

He looks like he came with the land.

Well, you got the bags?

Pain is something that you just learn to
live with.

It's all right. We'll do it.

Good. I'll hold the door.

Oh, Stephanie.

You know who you remind me of? He's just
lovely.

Lovely, lovely.

Thank you very much.

This is a screwdriver, Albert. I asked
you for a wrench. I ain't got no wrench.

How about a ladder?

Bunker? All that heat behind the house.

Now.

pictures. You know, at first I thought
they were pictures of me. And then I

realized they're pictures of my mom,
aren't they?

Yes, they are.

I really look like her, don't I?

Yes.

She looks like my age in this one.

And she's singing at a piano. I didn't
know she could play the piano.

Oh, yes, she could.

Why don't we see if there's something we
can find to help Mrs. Isaacson in the

kitchen? Grandma, can't we just look at
these pictures for a little while?

No, no.

We have to be ready for our guests.

I'm sorry, everybody, but this old man
knows about machinery like I know about

groin ecology.

You can't start the truck.

No, no.

Look at this guy.

He said he knew how to fix a carburetor.

No, I didn't. I said I could fix a
refrigerator.

Did you see a refrigerator parked in
that drive?

No. I was too busy looking for your
duck.

This here is what turned Mr. Regan
against Social Security.

Archie, I will find some way to get you
home tonight.

Why don't we send him Federal Express?

Okay.

I'll pay for it.

It don't make no difference. I can't
leave here without Harry's truck.

I'd only have to come all the way back
out here again and get it, wouldn't I?

And I ain't got that kind of time to
spare.

My presence at my place of business is
absolutely indefensible.

Oh, I could have guessed that.

Well,

why not stay here until tomorrow? Then
the mechanic can come and fix the truck.

Oh, I hate that.

But then under the circumstances, I
guess I got no other choice.

Harris, does that mean we got no other
choice?

I'm afraid Mr. Bunker will be joining us
for dinner.

Lula, can you get him into some other
clothes?

You want me to dress him?

No, no.

You ain't gonna touch me, no part of me.

Just show me the dyes. I'll put them on
myself.

All right, come this way.

I hope you don't mind wearing Mr.

Harris's clothes.

I don't care, as long as it ain't the
suit he croaked in.

You know something here, Estelle? This
whole thing might be a way to call a

blessing in disguise.

Of course, now I have a chance not only
to eat your great cuisine there, but I

also got a chance to meet some of your
swanky friends.

And they thought they had horror in
Amityville.

You must have heard that in the army
there, General.

There's no bad luck sitting in a dead
man's chair as long as you're wearing a

dead man's clothes.

Ha, ha, ha. You never heard that one,
Stella.

Mr. Bunker, are you finally through, or
are you waiting for a fourth helping?

As a matter of fact, my eyes was too big
for the third helping, you know. But

you know what you can do?

You can get a doggie bag for this, you
know, because I won't believe it.

I've been living for that moment.

All things considered, Ira, a hundred
billion is a fair price for the MX

missile. Even though the dense bacteria
is unproven?

Pardon me there, Mr. Weinstein.

Yep. Whatever.

But. I got a side with the general over
here.

You know, we, meaning my buddies and me,
we proved out that dense pack theory in

WWII. Really?

Oh, yes, sir.

When my battalion hit that beach at
Anzio, me and my buddies, all us guys,

bunched up in a dense pack.

I want to tell you.

He was as dense as any human beings you
ever see.

How interesting.

And you found that to be an effective
deterrent to enemy fire?

Oh, very much so, dear.

The only thing is you had to be careful
that you wasn't one of the dopes in the

front line of the dense pack.

Oh, Archie, don't you think that
Stephanie is looking particularly

tonight? Ah, yeah, she looks darling
down there.

But a little too grown up, don't you
think?

I can't believe how much she looks like
her mother.

She's the mirror image of Marilyn.

It's uncanny.

Do you really mean it? Oh, I should say
so. And I ought to know. We were thick

as thieves when we were your age.

Was she like me in other ways, too?

Archie, what was it you were saying
about the economy?

Ah, the what? Mr. Monty, you're a
businessman, so you must agree that the

present unemployment rate is a burden.

we have to bear in order to reduce
inflation.

Oh, yeah, that inflation, yeah, sure.
Well, you know, the, what do you call

heaviest cost of this here inflation is
resting on people who are the likes of

us, you know, who are sitting on very
large private sectors.

Think about that.

You know, the penniless unemployed, see,
they ain't got nothing left to lose, so

they ain't hurting no more.

Bunker, your ideas are basically sound.

You do have a rather unique way of
stating it.

It's very unique.

The end of the line.

You know, that's the first kind word she
said to me since I got here.

Shall we have our coffee?

Oh, yeah, that'd be great. Hey.

All right. Gee whiz.

Hey, whoop -dee -doo, coffee in another
room is pretty classy, huh? Don't you do

that at home, Mr. Bunker. Oh, no, never
coffee, but occasionally a little beer

by the TV, you know.

Hey, listen, I can't tell you something.

Could I talk with you for a second? Of
course, honey, what about?

My mother.

Uncle Archer doesn't know too much about
her.

Grandma won't tell me anything at all.

What was she like?

Oh, I loved your mother.

She was one of the sweetest friends I
had.

She had a wonderful laugh.

Stephanie, you're the guest of honor
this evening. You should be in the other

room. Oh, give us a minute, Estelle.
Stephanie just wants to know a little

her mother. Well, of course she does,
but now's not the time.

Come, Stephanie.

Estelle.

You're being silly.

You can no longer avoid talking about
Marilyn.

It's not good for Stephanie and it's not
good for you.

Sylvia, I appreciate your concern, but I
really think I'm capable of handling my

own grandchildren.

There you are.

I stopped by your room to say goodnight.

I couldn't sleep.

You certainly made a great impression
tonight.

Thank you.

Is something wrong?

Why wouldn't you let Cousin Sophie talk
to me about my mother tonight?

Stephanie.

When you're older and better able to
understand, then we'll talk.

Grandma, I'm older now.

Well, then, maybe tomorrow.

But now we need our rest, because we've
got a busy week ahead of us.

I won't be here.

Stephanie.

I'm going home with Uncle Archie as soon
as he gets his truck fixed tomorrow.

Please. Please don't leave.

If you won't talk to me, I don't want to
be here.

It really means that much to you?

Yeah.

All right.

Your mother had a mind of her own, too.

Like me.

They were both very strong -willed.

Is that why you would fight?

Well, we always had our differences.

But it wasn't... It wasn't until...
Until she met my father?

Oh, well.

That was one difference we could never
resolve.

Because he wasn't Jewish?

Well, I didn't like that.

But that wasn't the main reason.

You see, I never felt that...

Floyd was good enough for your mother.

And I kept telling her. I kept pointing
it out to her.

And I lost her.

How?

Well, I told her that if she went ahead
and married Floyd, she would no longer

be welcome in this house.

Before I had a chance to take it back,
she was gone.

You didn't cause the car accident,
Grandma.

No, but if I'd been more understanding,
if I'd known, then maybe when

the marriage went wrong, she might have
come home with you.

If she'd had a home and a mother to come
home to.

Grandma.

Don't blame yourself.

It's not your fault, Grandma.

Stephanie.

You're so like her.

I just don't want to lose you.

You won't, Grandma.

Well, I got the truck going again.

Watch the manicure.

Would it make me 60 bucks?

What for?

Well, a mechanic had to come out in the
village, check over the truck, go back

to the village.

Pick up something important to put into
the truck, come back out here again, put

it into the truck.

What was it?

Gas.

Who knows how many hours are left in
that old truck.

Well, how many are left in your reader,
for that matter?

Oh, Stella, yeah, before I go, just a
little way of advice, huh?

If the two of you want to have a nice
time here...

Just forget about the past, you know?

I love the past.

Grandma and I had a long talk about my
mother last night.

Well, uh, then let me say something
about your mama, who I never knew.

But it's what counts with me.

She wanted to have you.

And she did.

And she didn't have to.

So I'm lucky.

Huh? She didn't have to get married
either.

Even when she knew I was on the way, she
did it for me.

Who blew the lid off of this?

I think you just did.

They figured it out a long time ago.

They were married in January and I was
born in May.

Then what was you trying to dig out of
your grandmother here?

I just want to talk about important
things.

Really important things.

Oh, really important things.

Yeah,

that's nice.

Is that nice?

Very nice.

Okay, okay.

I guess I better get going, huh?

Oh, God, I hate long goodbyes.

Goodbye,

honey. I'll see you soon. Goodbye,
Estelle.

Thanks for everything, you know.

All I got to do now is hit the truck and
locate the main drag.

Bunker, you're the main drag.

I ain't even going to dignify that. I
would have been blind.