All language subtitles for archie_bunker_s_place_s03e25_billie_moves_out

Hey, I got a terrific surprise this
morning.

What?

I feel good.

You're kidding.

No, I slept like a log.

And you know why I slept like a log?

Why?

Windows closed.

Want to sleep good in New York, you got
to keep the air out.

I'm making breakfast this morning. Yeah,
where is it? What do you got?

The protein pickup drinks.

Eight yolks, raw milk, wheat germ oil,
and... And prune yogurt.

That sounds very healthy.

It is.

But I hate healthy.

I'm 58 years living on unhealthy. Why
fool with success?

Here's your coffee.

Here's the coffee. Is she up yet?

I guess not.

Well, what time did she come in last
night in that dopey nightclay she goes

I don't know.

She must have woke you up when she came
in.

No. I had the windows closed, too.

She's just coming in the door.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you call
this? You've been out the whole night?

Yes. It's been the most stimulating
night of my life.

It was with a guy.

My economics professor.

And she ain't even got the decency to
lie about. You shouldn't be listening to

this.

After class, a group of us went over to
Professor Gorin's house. And we talked

all night.

Then we went out for breakfast.

Oh, don't give me that.

No normal human being can spend a whole
night talking to a professor.

This man is fascinating.

I want to know why you didn't call me
up. Let me know what you was doing

I'm here the whole night pacing the
floor.

You were not.

You shut up.

You said you slept like a log.

Will you shut up?

Last time I called late, you yelled at
me for giving you a heart attack.

In fact, you said if you can't be home
before 11 o 'clock, don't bother

That's right.

Those are your exact words.

Who are you, huh?

A lawyer?

Let me tell you something. From now on,
I want to hear from you every move she

makes. Who are you, the CIA?

In this house? Yes.

Yes, that's who I am.

The CIA.

I don't know what's come over you
lately.

You never come home for supper with the
family.

You're trotting around with a whole lot
of new people who I hate and I ain't

even met.

Archie, after six months of being here,
I'm finally starting to have some fun.

Well, fun. Fun for you. That's torture
for me. You shouldn't be listening to

this.

Billy, be reasonable.

If I don't know where you are, then how
am I going to keep an eye on you?

You know, you're right.

You're damn right I'm right.

That's why I shouldn't be under this
roof anymore.

You should listen to this here.

Every time you have a little argument
and there's some words, she's reaching

the Samsonites.

You ain't going no place, Billy, because
there's no place for you to go. You

ain't got the money to live alone.

How do you know?

Because I don't pay him enough.

Life is tough, Billy. Life is tough.

Yeah, well, tough or not, I'm going to
face it.

You handled that real well.

Hey, Dutch!

I'm going to start stopping you yelling.
I'm going to have strokes.

Don't be a Weisenheimer over here.

And don't worry.

She ain't going nowhere.

Shirley, I need a favor.

Are you still looking for a roommate?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, terrific.

Well, how soon do you want to move in?

Uh, tonight?

That's a problem.

Oh.

Well, my fiancé just got into town, and
it's an efficiency apartment, and we

haven't seen each other in six months.

You know what I mean?

Well, I get the picture.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Oh, no, that's okay.

Thanks anyway.

Ladies, ladies, conversation while a
customer's waiting to serve us out

I look at you, you got my office looking
like a Greyhound bus station.

Is that supposed to scare me?

I'm not bluffing, Archie.

In fact, I've already found a place.

Do tell.

Well, just in case, tonight for supper
we'll put your plate on the table.

Well, that's one plate you won't have to
wash.

Now, we'll see. But in the meantime,
could you do something for mankind?

Look for a bottle of vodka?

Hey, come on, don't be moping there,
huh?

Yeah, from your lovely pile of franks
and beans.

Well, I've been sweating over them for
an hour, really.

I can't.

I'm worried about Billy.

Why?

I don't know where she is.

Ah, she'll be yours.

Hey, hey, you know where she probably
is? The YWCA. And if she's there,

she'll be home tomorrow.

Because you ain't going to be able to
take more than one night listening to

whalings of 1 ,200 forgotten women on
their cocktails.

Oh, I really appreciate this.

You saved my life.

Hey, what are friends for?

Listen, I have that extra bedroom all
cleared out, and you can stay as long as

you want.

Terrific. I don't know how I'll ever
repay you.

Well, we'll... Try to think of
something.

No, really. I don't want to take
advantage of you.

Billy, take, take.

No. Until I find my own place, I want to
split all the expenses right down the

middle. Now, how much do you pay a month
for this place?

$1 ,175.

What's half of that?

$150.

I was always terrible at math.

You're a doll. But I insist on paying
half of everything else.

And I can do most of the housework.
Billy, that's not necessary. I have a

who comes in every now and then.

Well, Chuck, tell her you don't need her
anymore.

My mother?

You're so cute.

Oh, no, no. Don't say cute.

Cute is a liability.

I mean, last week I was in front of a
jury making this impassioned plea.

And a lady in the front row pinched my
cheek.

Okay, you're not cute.

You're...

Adorable. That's what I mean.

Especially when you do Peter Lorre. Not
again.

Oh, come on, come on. Okay.

You despise me, don't you, Rick?

You know, I have many friends in
Casablanca, but somehow because you

you're the only one I trust.

Oh, hey, I'm working on a new one.

So nice to see you.

We don't get many visitors in this part
of...

Transylvania.

That's great.

That's Boris Karloff, right?

Close enough.

Well, I'm getting really tired.

I think I'd better go to sleep.

Yeah, yeah, right.

Oh, you've had a tough day, huh? I mean,
you've been through a lot.

Get some rest.

Mm -hmm.

This is gonna be great.

I mean, we can have fun. We can talk.

You're a real pal.

Good night. Good night, Billy.

I guess it'll work out. I mean, you're
right.

It's going to work out. It is going to
work.

Of course it will. It's cool.

How the hell will it work?

With cold showers, it'll work.

tell you what a terrific breakfast you
made. I love eggs benedict. Oh, I'm

I take pride in my hollandaise.

Hey, and you, I can't believe the way
you cleaned up that kitchen.

Well, that's the way I am. Everything
has to be spotless. Wait, I know.

You even dusted the bagel.

Better get in there. Oh, okay. Remember,
not a word to Archie. Do I look

suicidal?

We have to go over these sales figures.

Oh, what the hell's the matter with
them?

Well, according to these figures, either
business is better or your arithmetic

is worse.

Listen, I ain't in the mood to talk
business right now, you know? I got a

domestic problems on my mind here.
Billy, she's driving me nuts.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, I'm sorry I can't get into it with
you there, you know?

Because it's a personal, private family
matter, and I don't like to discuss them

things with strangers.

I don't blame you.

She left home.

Really?

Gee, smart lawyer. You had to drag it
out of me, huh?

Well, all right.

I might as well tell you the whole
story. You must know.

We had a little disagreement.

And then voids led to other voids, you
know, as voids generally do.

And she packed the bags.

Went out.

And I don't even know where she's
staying.

Hey. What?

Did she say anything to you about the
place she's staying at?

Yes. Yes, she did.

What?

She told me she had a great breakfast
there.

That's all?

I wouldn't worry too much.

Billy's a mature young woman.

What? Red -blooded American male ain't
gonna make a move on her.

Oh, there's gotta be one.

No, I really want to thank you for
today. For what?

Well, for taking me to the Metropolitan.

I haven't been to a museum since fourth
grade.

Oh, Billy, New York has some of the
greatest art in the world. I mean, we

the Whitney, the Guggenheim, the Modern.

Not to mention the Subways.

You're such a breath of fresh air.

You know so much about fine wine, art,
music.

Hey, we saw the original of this today,
right? Right. Yeah, Gauguin.

Gauguin. That's a whole book about him.

Hey,

I like this.

Tahitian woman bathing.

It has a certain mood to it, doesn't it?

Definitely.

This work embodies the primitive
sensuality of Gauguin's style.

We are struck first by the eyes, then by
the delicate face framed by an

abundance of dark hair.

So true.

The hair leads us from the shoulders
down to the girlish curves of the light

young body.

The final curve of the bent right leg
returns us to the top of

the painting.

Don't stop.

That's all.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Boy, what a pain.

Where are you going? Oh, I'm going to
take a quick shower before dinner.

Harry, how many showers do you take a
day?

Hey, it's been a busy day. I mean,
walking around the museum and poring

books. All that culture makes me sweat.

You're too young to be out with him.
Don't come back.

Don't be looking at me.

Hey, Arch.

You may have a problem in the kitchen.

I won't throw some drain on you. Leave
me alone.

It ain't a clogged drain.

Harry, I got problems at home.

Billy ain't back, huh?

Did I mention her?

Let me tell you something. If she wants
to leave home and go out and live by

herself, that's her own life.

I ain't the one to interfere.

What is going on out here?

He's looking in the refrigerator.

What is he doing, Raul? I think he's
talking to the chickens.

Ah, you who, Mr. Who -Who.

Mind if I ask what the hell you do with
your nose in my icebox?

I'm from the Quick Count Inventory
Service.

The owner hired me.

Oh, wait a minute there.

I'm the owner, and I didn't hire you.

Well, this was a Gary Rabinowitz.

Gary Rabinowitz?

The owner?

How do you like that?

Let me call this guy. What's his number
here? I got his whole phone right here.

How is he doing? Posing as the owner of
this place?

Some nerve.

Sending a guy over here.

To count my chickens.

Swinging.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Oh, God, a heavy breather.
Listen, if you're a sick man,

my roommate happens to be a lawyer and
he knows every cop in town.

These two girls of mine are going to
have me on a table with hoses up my

Who is it?

The big one.

She's at Gabby Rabinowitz's apartment.

Now take it easy, Arch.

Gary, dinner's almost ready.

Gary is gone.

He won't be back.

Tonight we'll be dining with Count
Dracula.

I just washed my hair, and I can't do a
thing with it.

Who is it?

Mr. Creek, in person.

Gary Rabinowitz's apartment.

Well, I knew no good was going to come
of all of that touching in the bar.

It's not what you think.

I didn't have any place to stay, and
Gary was sweet enough to let me stay

him. Sweet? Don't give me sweet. What
the hell are you talking about sweet?

Where the hell is this guy?

Sweet? What are you talking about sweet?

What is sweet about a guy taking
advantage, huh?

Trying to reduce a young girl of 18 in
the apartment.

You're completely wrong. Gary would
never do anything like that. He's not

kind of a guy.

Oh, honey, you don't know nothing.
You're so naive.

Don't you know a man and a woman can
never be good friends?

Why not?

Because their hormones make them do
things.

It really isn't even any of your
business, but I'm just telling you once

all that there's nothing funny going on.

Natasha, darling, what did you do with
my pants?

As soon as I put them on, I intend to
bite your neck.

Oy vey.

Nothing funny, huh?

Well, I certainly think that this is a
little funny, you know.

A half -naked guy chasing you around the
living room there, screaming at you and

broken you.

Well, I don't know what to say. I mean,
you know, my heart is broke.

And by the way, what would your little
mama say if she could see this here,

You, running around, looking for your
pants.

Trying to bite a young, un -Jewish girl
on the neck.

What would she say?

Well, she'd probably say, Gary, Tatala,
put your pants on.

I think I will.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a
minute.

While I got the two of you here in front
of me, I want to ask the two of you,

huh?

Am I too late?

Too late for what?

I'm sorry, I'll try to put it a little
politer.

Was you doing things?

Gary and I have a very special
relationship, and there's nothing sexual

it.

I could go on living here indefinitely,
and he would never lay a hand on me.

Right, Gary?

It's a question.

You see, at least he's being honest.

Look, Billy, you have to understand that
when you're this close, well,

I'm not a saint.

I mean, underneath this towel, I'm
just... Aye, aye, we know what's

the towel.

I didn't realize how difficult it was
for you.

I guess I should have been more
sensitive to your feelings.

Well, I don't know about his feelings.

My feelings is what you've got to worry
about.

All right, all right, I'm satisfied.

I believe the two of you.

As long as you are still unserved.

Get your stuff together and come on home
with me.

How can I come home with you watching
every move I make?

I can't even take a class without you
jumping down my throat.

Take the class.

Take the class.

Live your own life.

Would that be your mother?

No, Bunker. It's just dinner.

Listen, why don't you join us? No, no,
no, no. What do you got?

You'll promise your mother? No, no.

The first place, I ain't hungry. Second
place, I promised Harry.

Faithfully, I'd come and lock up the
place.

Take that off.

What's this? The doctor was here.

Not to worry.

I'll be right back.

Why is he talking Jewish to me?

Don't be giving me that look with them
two eyes.

Just wondering if you'll ever let me
live my own life.

Yes, yes, I'll let you live your own
life. No.

I mean, after all, I ain't your father.

I'm only your poor, soft -eared uncle.

Just admit to me what you was doing here
was wrong.

We were not doing wrong.

Oh, come on.

Listen, honey.

This kind of business here, living
together and all of that, it looks

And it always will look wrong. I don't
care what you people think, you

know.

In this world, the way things look,
that's the way

they are.

Oh, you're very...