All language subtitles for archie_bunker_s_place_s02e10_custody_part_1

Then we're going to go to Kessler's to
get the gym shorts.

But they don't have the kind of gym
shoes that I want. So we'll have to go

Sears. But that won't be out of the way
because it's right near Macy's. We'll

have to get a new winter coat.

You know, the kind that's real warm but
you can also get in the rain.

And while we're there, we're going to
look at the skirts.

We'll have to get a navy blue one. And
maybe a pleated one in pink and blue

plaid. Which I can wear with three new
sweaters I'll have to get. And that

have to go to Alexander's to buy.

And while we're there, we're going to
look for a training bra.

and I better start wearing one now or
else I'll be sorry later.

Are you done?

No. And then we have to find a store
that sells westerns because I absolutely

have to have a cowboy hat.

You don't deserve new darts until you
learn how to take care of your own ones.

I'm getting going. Oh, come on. Hey, the
last time I seen you, you were wrong.

It looked like a laundry truck was
caught in a cyclone falling by a

That was long ago when school started.

Mrs. Cammie made me clean it all up. Oh,
Steph, this call's for you.

For me?

Yep, it's a lady says she's your
grandmother.

What? Grandma?

Yeah, well, that's what the lady says.

She got a grandma?

Yeah, it's one of her friends fooling
around there. I picked up the phone the

other day. Some kid with a voice like a
cricket telling me I was going to be

dragged.

I'd really like to, but I can't.

I have to go shopping for school
clothes.

Okay, if you want to.

704 Houser Street.

Okay.

Bye.

You ain't supposed to be giving out your
red dress to strangers.

I know, but that was Grandma Harris.

Grandma Harris?

Grandma Harris. Isn't that the old bag
lady who had a crush on Bonnie?

No, that's Grandma Hessel.

Hey, Steph, you never said nothing about
a grandmother.

Well, that's who she was.

My mom's mom.

Listen, you got any more secrets like a
husband in the Navy?

It ain't exactly a secret, Al. I knew
about it.

Just didn't give a damn about it. And I
still don't.

I just haven't seen her since I was
little.

Yeah, well, what does she want with you
now? She wants to take me shopping into

lunch. She's coming over in the morning.

Oh, no, no, no. You can't do that.

I ain't going to be there to meet her.
And I ain't going to let you run off

no stranger there. Claim to be your
grandma Hustle.

Harris.

Whatever.

You can't go.

Arch, what do you say? I mean, it's her
grandmother.

We don't know that.

Yes, we do.

I remember her.

She had a coat with little dead foxes
hanging around her neck.

Oh, my God, ain't that awful.

Call her back. Tell her you can't go.

I don't know her number.

Besides, I want to see her. Of course
you do. What are you saying?

Will you judge there?

Go on back to school. You can't go. Case
closed.

I'm not going to go back to school until
you say she can take me. You want to

bet you ain't going back to school? I'm
going.

Hey, you forgetting something, huh?

Yeah.

My broccoli.

Something else. Something else.

Yeah.

Look, you tell me something. What's
wrong with the child wanting to see her

grandmother? Laurie, you don't know her
relations like I do. The last one of

them turned up was her father there. He
hit me for $200.

God knows what this old lady wants.

Oh, come on. Why are you so suspicious?

Because poor relations, unless they want
something, they never return to the

scene of the family.

Oh, hello.

Oh, hiya there.

Why aren't you down at the bar?

Well, I had to go to the store for
something. Bring it back here.

What's this?

This is a hat. What the hell does it
look like?

That's what I had her buy, you know, for
the kids.

I don't know why she wants it. She'd be
better off with a coloring book.

I think she might agree with you.

What time are they coming back?

I don't know.

Well, you was here when they left.
Didn't they say nothing?

No.

Well, what about the old lady? What's
she like?

She seemed very nice.

I don't want to hear that.

Did she ask you how much money I got?

No, she didn't.

Well, do you know why?

Because she's waiting to see the golden
goose himself.

She can snatch at my eggs.

I can hardly eat thinking about it. Get
me a beer, huh? Coming right up.

Oh, Lord help us. What a nothing family
that poor child is saddled with there.

And now this old spider creeping around,
probably giving the kid a song and

dance while starving the dead in a row
late.

And, of course, the kid being dopey and
soft -hearted, she'd believe all of

that.

What's this?

Coffee.

I don't say, what is this?

I'm saying, what's this?

Which means, where the hell's my brew?

I don't think you should have beer on
your breath when you talk to Mrs.

What the hell do I care if some old
blister smells beer off of my breath?

Okay.

I'll get that.

Hello.

Oh, hiya there.

Look at the hat my grandma bought me.

It's Detson. I told her it was too
expensive, but she bought it for me

Well, you're a regular Royan tricker,
dear.

And we got everything at Saks Fifth
Avenue. What a neat store.

It's huge.

Yeah, I know. Well, uh, don't stand
there. I mean to say, why don't you put

your stuff away?

Okay. Yeah, and, uh...

Uh, please, come in.

Thank you.

Uh,

Mrs. Canby, whatever are you doing with
that beer there?

Uh, you see, I got my favorite beverage
there, coffee on the table.

Uh, would you care for a beverage, Mrs.
Wakehorn?

Harris, no, thank you. Come on,
Stephanie, show me what you brought. Oh,

Ollie, pass the cat right here. Yeah.

Let me help you with all of these here.

Just put that there.

Please find a seat.

Not that chair.

Don't worry, Mr. Bunker. I wasn't going
to sit in your chair.

Stephanie told me how much it means to
you.

Oh, no, it ain't that. It's just that
that chair was never a favorite of

You know, there's a spring that pops up
in the air.

I never had a chance to get it ripped
out.

I was sorry to hear about your wife.

Oh, thank you. The kid mentioned that.
No, no, I heard about it, and that's

brought me here.

Oh, yeah.

Is anything wrong?

No, I was just expecting something a
little different.

A little different?

Well, to tell you the truth,

The only other relation of the kids who
ever come around here was her father,

Floyd. And, you know, he was looking to
hit me up with some dough, so I figured,

you know.

Oh, that I wanted your money?

That's ridiculous.

I can see that.

So, what do you want?

I want my granddaughter.

I want Stephanie to come and live with
me.

Left that kid in our care.

Yes.

But there isn't our anymore.

There's just you.

A single middle -aged man.

And not even a blood relative.

So what?

You can't give her the right kind of
care.

Oh, I ain't gonna listen to nothing like
this. What are you talking about?

That kid is doing fine. Right where she
is.

And there ain't nothing she needs that
she don't get.

I doubt that.

I think that a little girl needs a
woman's care.

And if not her mother, certainly her own
grandmother.

Think.

Think of what's best for the child.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who the
hell are you to tell me what to think,

huh?

You know, they're all as far as I'm
concerned. You're a total stranger

in here.

I mean, since before today, when did you
last see that kid?

Oh, no, I got you there.

No, no, no, no, no. I mean, look, I
don't want to be, we call her harsh or

or, you know, nothing like that. But get
out of here.

Don't get excited, Mr. Bunker. Get a
lawyer.

Me? You better get yourself a lawyer.
Already have.

He suggested that I talk to you first
before taking this to court.

Now I've done that, so now we'll let a
judge decide.

Mr. Bunker, I'm warning you.

I'm a woman who usually gets what she
wants. And I want my granddaughter.

I'm going to take this sitting down.

Oh, hey, kid, you don't want to wear
this dopey little thing here. I only

that to send it out to California to
Joey.

Uncle Archie, I don't want to leave you.

Well, you ain't going to leave me.

What are we going to do?

Oh, I know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to look up some very old and
dear friends of mine.

Here they are. Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz,
Rabinowitz and sons and sons -in -laws

and whatever.

Who are they?

Who are they, huh?

They're lawyers, honey.

Seven savage Jews who know how to put
the run on hard.

Will you look at this here, McGuire?

The judge is a Mick, and I got a
repentance from a lawyer.

Nothing plays no sound.

But maybe we should delay, and I should
go for a Finnegan remote.

Listen, Bunker.

When we're inside with the judge, we'll
have a signal.

If I put my hand on your knee, please
stop talking.

Don't do that, will you? I get goosey
whenever a man touches my legs.

Shush. Here comes the grandma and some
kid.

Oh, my God, I don't believe it. Look
who's here. Gary?

You're my adversary?

This is Watts' enemy.

How's your mother?

How's Sharon? How's the baby? Don't be
asking him. Nothing is your enemy.

Everybody's fine. I'll see you inside,
Uncle Saul.

Uncle Saul.

Good luck, Gary.

You don't have to wish him luck.

You're right.

He's never lost a case.

Come on.

Only four people are allowed in my
chambers.

The parties concerned and the two
attorneys. One of you get out.

Not you, Bunker.

No, he's out.

You, Bunker?

That's a Bunker.

Uh, Judge, there, uh, I'm a veteran of
WW2 and a local businessman.

Sit down.

You own a bar?

Uh, yes, Judge, uh, a bar and grill. Oh,
and by the way, uh, we got an Irish

Catholic cook over there by the name of
Veronica Rooney. You ought to drop

around sometime.

Hold the commercial.

I hate Irish cooking and I don't drink.

Oh, geez, ain't that odd, you know,
considering your name of wire.

What's that supposed to mean?

I had no intention to find a judge. The
whole world knows that you people ain't

exactly strangers to the sword.

Yes, the judge has been around the
block.

Let's get on with this.

You're Estelle Harris?

Yes, Your Honor.

Now, as I understand it, one Stephanie
Mills, age 12, was left in the care of

Mr. and Mrs. A. Bunker.

Mrs. Bunker, presently deceased.

That's true, Judge, but my wife taught
me everything she knew.

At this time, Estelle Harris, the
maternal grandmother, is seeking legal

custody. That's correct, Rob.

He's a lawyer.

You ain't saying nothing.

The hearing is hereby set for one week
from today at 9 a .m.

As requested, in the meantime, Mrs.
Harris can see the child.

The kid is happy. The kid don't want to
see, huh?

The child hasn't told me that.

Why did you have to show up at all when
everything's going along so good? Cut

that out.

You're out of order, Bunker. I'm sorry,
Judge. A man just grabs my leg.

Where was you when free -loading Floyd
dumped the kid on us, huh?

Bunker, be quiet!

appointing someone to the SPCC to
investigate both homes.

Judge, it's a child we're talking about,
not a carcass bangle.

It is cruelty to children, not animals.

Well, Judge, there was nobody ever cruel
to that child, not while she was under

my roof there. The only people cruel to
her was her deadbeat family that

deserted her.

I never deserted that child.

why didn't you take the kid in in the
first place? Ask her that, your honor.

Ask her where was she when that child
had her first appendix in me.

Bunker, sit down.

Just judge.

Wake up.

And if I'm not satisfied with that
social worker's report, the child will

placed in a foster home until custody is
determined.

Excuse me, Your Honor, but are you sure
you can do a thing like that?

I'll check.

But I think I can.

Hello, Harry.

Hi, Barney. Hey, Barney. Hiya, fellas.

Oh, boy. All right.

Set up four of the regulars, Harry.

I'm going to get Bob.

How many did you have at home?

I don't remember.

I wasn't using a glass.

the day before Christmas.

Tis the season to be jolly.

Not for me.

I've no one to be jolly with.

Me neither, Barney.

Not a New Year's Eve coming up.

Most of my loved ones are in prison.

Oh, you got your loved ones here,
Veronica.

Hey, we gotta wash down the walls of the
ladies' can.

Yeah, I know.

They've been writing things about me and
you.

What are you worried about?

What they've been writing about me ain't
true.

What did you get here, Barney?

Oh, hi, Arch. Archie Bunker's place.
It's all I have. Thanks a go.

I see you're well on your way to your
annual paradise.

Sure, Miss Camby. I'll tell him.

Tell him what?

There was a social worker over at the
house, Mr.

Davis. He's on his way over here now.

Archie was at the house, huh?

God, I hope she showed him a good
housekeeping, huh?

And it's time for Newsweek, too.

You scared?

You can't have a social worker thinking
that we let drunks in this jive here.

Murray, please, throw him away in the
store. Okay, come on, Barney, come on.

Barney, old beanhead, take him back
there.

Yeah, let's show you some new bottles.

Hello? A little bit of a silly out
there. I'm looking for Mr. Bunker.

Oh, right here, you're looking at him.
Oh, you... You must be the social

Mr. What do you call him? Davis. They're
all Davids? Yeah, yeah. Pleased to meet

you there. Mrs.

Camby just phoned. She was on her way
over.

Yeah. Hey, I hope you noticed while you
was at the house that Mrs.

Camby's there a color boy.

Just as I was leaving, it dawned on me.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, having a
black lady there working hard in my

there, don't that say something about
me? Oh, really?

What's the nice place you have here?

Yeah, you're all real family, real
family. The kid comes here every day for

lunch, you know.

But never in the bar, only in the
restaurant.

Right, Harry?

What's that, Arch? I'm just saying to
Mr. Davis here that Steffi never comes

into the bar.

Who's Steffi?

I don't see.

I don't see.

Well, listen, you don't have to stand
there. Go on over and take a seat, you

know. Hey, you should see the place in
the middle of every day.

It's crowded with minorities all sitting
down at the tables and right up front.

Mr. Davis, can I get you something to
drink or something to eat?

I'd like a cup of coffee if it's not too
much trouble. No trouble at all. I'm

Murray Klein. I'm Bunker's partner. Nice
to meet you, Mr. Klein. Likewise.

Oh, Murray's like an uncle to the kid,
you know.

I suppose you notice he's Jewish.

No, I couldn't tell him.

Oh.

Well, I mean, he ain't too Jewish.

He takes her out all the time. He takes
her to the ballets, you know, and the

museums and all of them things, as he
naturally would.

What do you mean, naturally?

Well, you know Jewish people, they're
nuts on culture, you know.

They certainly are the people that are
nuts on football, basketball, and

drums. Top players and shooting craps.

There you go. Thank you. Yeah, sit down,
sit down, Murray. Me and Mr. Davis are

just kind of... I heard, I heard.

What's the face?

Mr. Davis, I don't want you to get the
idea that I won't be... Miss Candy,

me on Mr. Bunker.

Hey, hey, Art. Do I hear something
funny?

I mistook your office for a men's room.

Tell me you didn't know.

Certainly not.

I only wrote a poem on the wall.

Excuse me there, Mr. Davis, but it seems
that some misfortunate drunk, you know,

just staggered in here from the alley
out there. It happens here. Come, come,

fellow, whoever you are.

Oh, Barney.

Get in there.

Just keep talking here like everything
was normal, huh?

You see, he's a little nervous about
losing a little girl. Yes, I know.

I keep telling him he's not going to
lose her, but he won't believe me.

Don't keep telling him. What do you
mean?

Well, he's got an okay house, got a
wonderful housekeeper, the little girl

happy, and I can see that he's just an
ordinary businessman.

I'll okay him.

But this is a child custody case, and
he's not a relative.

He doesn't stand a chance.