Original subtitles

How can you sing so early in the morning?

In my country, we say music is the food of love.

Well, stop stuffing yourself in front of a starving woman.

What's the matter with you?

Just keep chopping, Desi Arnaz. That stew is for today.

Hey, don't worry. You're looking at the human Vegematic.

I slice, I dice, I peel, I core.

Do you have to learn all your English from commercials?

Let's see what else. Over here.

Over here is the silverware.

There's the ketchup, mustard, step and salt, napkins, whatever else you need.

And I think that's it. And we're very glad to have you with us, Samantha.

Well, I'm glad to be here, I think. Oh, I know you'll like it. You're going to

go nuts about this place. This place is driving me nuts.

Maybe now, with extra help, a person can get some time off for recreation.

No time for yourself?

Lately, the only man in my life is Johnny Walker.

Be nice to her. She's had a sad life.

Hey, Murray.

What happened to that hand cart you promised me three weeks ago?

Oh, she went into the city for it. Come here. Give me your hand.

What's happening in the kitchen?

A little skirmish between El Salvador and Nicaragua.

Stop fighting. Once and for all, stop.

They're not fighting. He cut it. himself. I cut my finger.

Is it bad? Let's see.

Let's not. I even passed out at the side of marinara sauce.

Is it deep?

I'm afraid to look. Oh, come on. Let's get you to the hospital.

Hey, you better report the details of that accident to the shop steward.

Shop steward? Oh, that's a laugh. This ain't a union joint.

How come?

I can tell you in two words.

Archie Bunker.

Okay, Jose, here you are.

My fear is nice and warm again. Veronica, look who's here. Jose, are you

Hey, give me this.

Ah, it's gonna be all right. I just took a couple of stitches, that's all. A

couple? Try seven. And the pain is killing me.

You should go right home to your bed.

Somebody else is using it in the daytime.

Oh, sure. They're all resting nice and warm in here, but me, I have to lug in

this thing all the way from Hester Street.

Nobody to help me.

Too late now, gee.

You should have seen everybody on the subway.

They was all frozen stiff in there.

The guy thought he was groping me, he was groping that.

Maybe next time you'll get lucky.

Don't talk dirty, Veronica.

Come on, Harry, you wanted this thing. Take it away now. Thanks, boss.

You having your breakfast, dear?

I'm trying to keep warm. You know, it ain't fit for man or beast out there. So

will you go out and shovel snow, Jose?

Jose, don't talk to me that way.

He cut his finger in the kitchen.

That's right, I cut my finger.

He cut his finger.

I hired the only Spanish guy in New York who can't handle a knife.

You're all...

Oh, it's that little wound. Cost $212.

They soaked your $212 for that?

No, they soaked us for it. What do you mean, us?

He got hurt on the job.

But, Jose, didn't you have your insurance handled, lad? What insurance?

You ain't got insurance.

How is he supposed to get it with his American Express card?

Don't be funny, will you?

Every American ought to be carrying disastrous insurance there.

Only certain classes of people don't keep their financial priorities

That's right.

I spend all my money wearing fancy clothes and driving fur -lined jebbies.

now you're broke.

Not to mention his penthouse and his yacht. Oh, he ain't got that. How could

afford insurance when you're a working stiff?

I got it for nothing, wise guy, because I was a loyal dues -paying member of a

dangerous union.

He's right.

Unions do provide excellent group coverage.

You said it there, little girl.

And they also offer a lot of other kinds of protection for the working people.

Yes, yes, many protections.

Here's a young lady who knows what she's talking about here.

So how come Archie Bunker's place isn't affiliated with the Restaurant Workers

Union?

Who the hell are you?

This is Samantha Peters. She started working for us today.

I don't see her starting work. If she wants to start work, she can start by

getting me a cup of coffee.

What kind of people are you hiring in here? Oh, excuse me, excuse me. I didn't

hear you answer her question.

How come we got no union here?

Because we don't need no union here. We're a big happy family here.

Yo and Jose and Harry over there and little, uh, what do you call him?

Uh, Linda?

Linda, yeah.

Mr. Bunker, you yourself... just admitted the necessity of unions.

That's right. You just opened your big mouth before, didn't you? Will you close

yours now?

All other thing with me.

When I was working on the loading dock, it was a different situation.

Let me tell you something. When you're in the clutches of a guy who pays you

next to nothing for the work you do, well, all right, then you need a union.

Where do we sign up?

Then you put a lid on it and get back to work in the kitchen over there.

I haven't even mentioned the health and pension plans. The employers have to pay

for them entirely.

Entirely? Say, say, say.

I think we talked enough. You talked a little too much.

Hey, sir, how do we join this union?

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. Now, listen, I heard just about enough talk

about unions in here. We're too small to be unions. Oh, no, you're not. All you

have to have is a simple majority vote. Why don't we vote?

Nothing is allowed in here.

Who the hell do you think you are, Poland?

Mr. Bunker. I don't want to hear no more from you. You're an outside

abbreviator. You're the one that hired her.

Mr. Bunker, you cannot stop us from voting. The union... Oh, look, the law

that only employees can vote, right? Right. Well, that leaves you out because

you're no longer an employee. You're fired. What?

I'll spell it out for you. F -I -R -D, fired.

Wait, no, you can't fire me. You don't have just cause. Well, I have.

It's just cause.

I don't like it.

Wait a minute.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

I'm your partner. You're supposed to consult me about these things. Okay,

okay. You hired her. I fired her. That's what partners is about.

Do you think you're going to get away with this?

It's a dirty job, Veronica, but somebody's got to do it.

Can't vote, but that ain't gonna stop us. As for me, I vote union.

That makes two votes.

Well, I vote union, too. Shut up, you're a girl.

Okay, everybody's going on strike.

Que paso?

Revolucion. Muy bien.

Harry, what do you say? Make it unanimous.

Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, friends.

You're right, Arch. Large brothers.

You're right.

Nineteen years together.

You're right.

I'm just a waiter.

They're nice and warm.

Damn heat is killing me.

I'm gonna stove, moron.

What's going on? Nothing.

Oh, can I take your order? Yeah, we're starting. Hey, how's the veal veronica?

Tough. Very tough.

Today's special. The chef's surprise?

What is that?

When I know, you'll know.

The eggs happen to be in season.

Thanks. We'll take two cheese omelets.

Yeah.

Good choice.

Two cheese omelets right away before they leave.

Can't you see that I'm in pain here?

Why are you fondling the gentleman?

Because we're all out of butter.

And you know whose fault that is? Yours.

We are out of butter because union drivers won't cross a picket line and we

wouldn't have any pickets if you hadn't thrown our people out the door.

I didn't throw nobody out the door. They walked out.

Let's call them back in here. We sit down and we negotiate.

Now, Mr. Van Rensselaer has agreed to be the mediator. No!

Stay away from me, please. Every time you get near me, you torture me.

Archie Plunkett don't negotiate with no traitors.

Now, as soon as they start freezing out there, they'll come crawling back.

What happened to my soup?

That should not have been soup in there.

Why not?

Because I done the dishes in it.

Did the job.

Now we don't have a first course. Yes, we do. We do. We do.

I've been making it over here. Here? See?

Here it is.

Now, give me a hand with this.

Now, see, depending on how long this has been cooking, this could be a two -man

job. You hold the pot down while I'll remove the food.

What is it? This is an old recipe.

I learned it when I was in Paul G. Ridley in WWII.

This here is spaghetti alistronzo.

Looks like it's been there since the war.

Why would you say a rotten thing like that to me?

It reminds me of a landmine.

It's been in the pot for around... Don't you understand?

It has to come out, get some air and breathe so it can loosen up, and then

be lovely.

Hey!

Where's our food?

Hey, this ain't no fast food joint, lady. You want speed, you gotta go to a

drive -thru, you know?

Because everything in here is cooked to individual taste.

Here, here.

Go to your seat.

I do that with this hand. They want to see you.

For you. All right, give me it, give me it, give me it. Go ahead, hold open the

door for me. Okay. Come on, all right, now, let's go. Let me throw down. Nice

people, too.

Look at me.

Hi. It's for lunch.

Oh, gee, kid, you're sure to edit the cafeteria today.

Why shouldn't I eat here?

Because I love you.

How long are you going to keep everybody out there? They're freezing.

Are they in pain?

Uh -huh.

They're all calling you names.

What do they call me?

Who's Simon LaGrange?

A very great man.

He invented a cure for St. Titus's dance.

I got some personal friends to take care of here. Excuse me.

Here we are.

It's you again.

Do you know me?

This we've been waiting 45 minutes for?

Ain't that what you wanted?

It's ridiculous. A person could starve in here.

Old lady, you'd be a long time starving anyways.

I specifically ordered mashed potatoes.

Oh, come on. Them is beautiful Rhode Island rust it's there.

Won't they mash?

She don't let you talk, huh?

Come on. Come on, a potato's a potato.

I ordered mashed potatoes and I want mashed potatoes.

You want mashed potatoes, huh?

Right.

Now you got mashed potatoes.

Hey, what's that singing out there?

Do you sing?

Don't pay no attention to them out there. There's just a crowd of

know, and they're singing in the hopes of a turkey dinner.

Oh, can we get turkey for lunch?

No, because the guy that strangles the boys went to a matinee.

Ray Swalley is here.

And half of yous don't even work here. These are just labor goons sent down by

the union to make trouble here.

Look at this.

A couple of mob guys have been here since.

And you, little one, you're cold.

Since I take you up from the laundry truck and give you a nice inside job.

Nothing personal, Mr. Bunker. I just consider this a career move.

Well, let me tell you something. Ronnie Regan's going to put an end to all of

this crap.

This ain't never gonna work again.

Thanks for coming around, Marty.

Hey, what happened to your hand, Arch? Oh, a touch of arthritis from the cold,

that's all. Oh, yeah. It's painful.

Oh, yeah, very, yeah.

May I say something to you? Yes, ma 'am.

You're a slob.

So, how's it going, Arch?

Would you be a pal? Put on an apron and help us here.

Oh, not me. I'm a union man.

It's one thing to cross the line to say hello, but scabbing is something else.

You're also supposed to be my friend.

I am your friend. And I'm their friend, too. Do you know how hard this is on me?

Boy, I could sure use a drink.

Well, go and make it yourself.

And don't forget to write it on your tab.

Not the ones you'd buy, since you're going out of business.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Where are you going with that?

Mary said I could take it to Veronica and the gang.

I ain't gonna give none of that my coffee free.

Hold this.

Oh!

Murray,

I suppose they love your Uncle Murray, huh?

That's what they say.

What do they say about your Uncle Archie?

getting colder every minute. Seems like the man upstairs is taking their side.

You gotta remember, he's management, too.

The way things are going, Mr. Bunker's gotta give in soon. I mean, he can't be

totally irrational.

Johnny, what happened?

It was horrible.

He wanted me to sample this thing.

He kept calling it spaghetti.

This might be a good time to talk.

Good luck. Okay, okay, Mr. Van Dog.

Be careful.

Don't let him down. Good luck.

Mr. Van Dog, please, come in. You gotta help me. You gotta talk some sense into

Archie there, huh?

Nobody needs to talk no sense into me.

Okay,

thanks. Oh, hi there, Mr. Van Dog.

How are you, Arch? You dropped in for lunch. I'm afraid all I can offer you

there is a wedge of spaghetti.

I know.

No, thanks.

Now, listen.

You've got some employees out there that wouldn't mind coming back to work.

Listen, Mr. Bernard, they can come back any time they want, as long as they

leave their union on the front doorstep.

Just how long do you think you can go on like this? Well, as long as it takes,

because I'll never be a quitter.

You'll never be a cook, either.

You're going to ruin us. No, I won't.

Can't you get anything through your head? Everything goes through my head.

Let him in.

Not in my place. Never.

All right. I'm going to let him into my house.

All right. You're going to be weak. Be weak. Be weak.

Come on in.

Here you go. Come on in. We're the swans.

Close the door.

Yes, this is Pullman. Now, listen, we're doing fine, Veronica.

Who are you kidding?

Now, look, it's obvious to me that both sides need each other.

As long as this goes on, both sides are the losers.

Now, let's sit down and talk about the union.

Uh, we are sitting down, Mr. Van Damme.

Oh, think about me, will you? I need a place to eat.

My heart may be with you, but my stomach's with Veronica.

Well, Veronica ain't here no more. She's gone. I don't need her. I don't need

any of you. I don't need any of you.

Well, if that includes me, you better find yourself another party. Oh, come

Are we supposed to eat these omelets?

No, pal.

You're wearing them as party hats.

I'm sorry.

I heard this was a nice little place.

It was a nice little place.

All right, all right, all right, all right. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Hold

everybody. Now, not used to. Take a walk till we hawk.

I'll make a deal with this.

Come on back and see me through lunch, and then I'll talk.

All right, now show your gratitude by getting into that kitchen. There. Oh,

oh, jeez, Arch. You know, after four hours... The union says we've got to

15 -minute break.

Because you'll all be disappointed to know that the strike is settled.

And now you've wandered to the city there and sabotaged the Waldorf.