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1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,923
(drumroll)
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,010
(rousing orchestralfanfare playing)
3
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:16,558
(RALPH screechily singing
with fanfare)
4
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,982
(fanfare ends)
5
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,985
(low, pulsating rumble)
6
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,866
(indistinct radio chatter)
7
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:37,996
(Theme from
2001: A Space Odyssey playing)
8
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,751
(orchestra crescendoes)
9
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,756
(percussion booming)
10
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:52,469
We come in peace for cats
and mice everywhere.
11
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,805
(screaming)
12
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,809
(glass breaks, air hissing)
13
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,977
(popping)
14
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,480
(laughing)
15
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,067
♪ ♪
16
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:10,153
(orchestral fanfare playing)
17
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,990
-(crowd cheering)
-Hey, how you doing?
18
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,868
Good to see ya.
Thanks for coming out.
19
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:19,871
("Hail to the Chief" playing)
20
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:24,334
♪ ♪
21
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,545
SCRATCHY (calling in distance):
Itchy... Itchy...
22
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,591
(air horn blasts)
23
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,511
(quiet, ominous music plays)
24
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,179
(orchestral music grows louder)
25
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,682
(snaps fingers)
26
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,018
♪ ♪
27
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,562
(click)
(mechanical whirring)
28
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:48,024
(music crescendoes)
29
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,734
(loud buzzing)
30
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,861
(missiles rumbling)
31
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,740
(missiles whizzing through air)
32
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,034
(screaming)
33
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,081
(missile whizzing)
34
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,582
(mechanical ratcheting)
35
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,625
(metallic clunk)
36
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,418
(loud explosion)
37
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,087
Boring!
38
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:11,214
LISA: Dad, we can't
see the movie!
39
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,341
I can't believe we're
paying to see something
40
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,385
we get on TV for free.
41
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:19,222
If you ask me, everybody in
this theater is a giant sucker,
42
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,225
especially you!
43
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:26,146
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
44
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,773
PROFESSOR FRINK:
♪ Movie, on the big screen ♪
45
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,860
(theme playing)
46
00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:36,531
(creaking, thud)
47
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:40,160
♪ ♪
48
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,703
(pen squeaks)
49
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,956
(MARTIN howling)
50
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,753
(rock band joins in
on The Simpsons theme)
51
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,340
(crowd cheering)
52
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,346
(strained grunting)
53
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,765
Excuse me,
my heinie is dipping.
54
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,517
-(others groan in disgust)
-(loud thud, grunt)
55
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,145
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
56
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,605
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
57
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,148
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
58
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,901
(to The Simpsons theme):
♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da ♪
59
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,569
♪ Da, da-da-da-da ♪
60
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:15,737
CROWD:
♪ Da-da-da-da-da ♪
61
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,238
♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
62
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,448
(song ends, cheering)
63
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,576
All right, well,
thanks a lot for coming.
64
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:24,412
We've been playing
for three and a half hours.
65
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,414
Now we'd like
just a minute of your time
66
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,083
to say something
about the environment!
67
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,919
(crowd quiets,
crickets chirping)
68
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,171
-(loud booing)
-You suck!
69
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:36,132
-Shut up and play!
-Preachy!
70
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,634
We're not being preachy.
71
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,302
But the pollution
in your lake,
72
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,346
it's dissolving our barge!
73
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,349
(crowd booing)
74
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,351
I thought they touched
on a vital issue.
75
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,977
I beg to differ.
76
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,145
(grunts)
77
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,647
(screechy gasp)
78
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:57,195
Gentlemen, it's been an honor
playing with you tonight.
79
00:03:57,278 --> 00:04:00,657
(playing "Nearer My God to Thee")
80
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,628
(organ playing "American Idiot")
81
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,511
For the latest rock band
to die in our town,
82
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,055
Lord, hear our prayer.
83
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:25,682
CONGREGATION:
Lord, hear our prayer.
84
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,392
(car screeches to a halt)
85
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:28,726
MARGE:
I hate being late.
86
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,103
HOMER:
Well, I hate going.
87
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,689
Why can't I worship the Lord
in my own way--
88
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,482
by praying like hell
on my deathbed.
89
00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,526
MARGE: Homer, they can
hear you inside.
90
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,319
HOMER:
Relax. Those pious morons
91
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,406
are too busy talking
to their phony-baloney God.
92
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:45,994
(quietly):
How you doing?
93
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:46,995
Peace be with you.
94
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,037
Praise Jebus.
95
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,164
(snoring)
96
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,125
(organ playing quietly)
97
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,043
(video game beeping)
98
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,504
-(video game gunfire)
-BABY: Ga-ga, goo... (groaning)
99
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,215
(video game sounds stop)
100
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,801
Now, today I'd like to try
something a little different.
101
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,304
I'm going to call on one of you!
102
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,722
(man yelps)
103
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,308
(chuckles): Now, the word of God
dwells within everyone.
104
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,560
I want you to let that word out.
105
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,770
-Let your spirit...
-Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
106
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,731
(frustrated sigh)
What is it, Ned?
107
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,400
The good Lord is telling me
to confess to something.
108
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,527
(quietly): Gay, gay,
gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
109
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:22,864
An immodest sense of pride
in our community!
110
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,907
Somebody else?
111
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,244
LOVEJOY: Let the Lord's light
shine upon you.
112
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,372
-(heavenly choir singing)
-(snoring)
113
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:37,962
LOVEJOY:
Feel the spirit. Let it out!
114
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:42,175
Horrible, horrible things
are going to happen!
115
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,635
And they're gonna happen
to you and you and you!
116
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,262
-And you!
-(gasps)
117
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,764
Whoa, Nelly.
118
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,474
(gasping)
119
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,184
(grunting)
120
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,101
(beep)
121
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,313
People of Springfield,
heed this warning!
122
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,773
Twisted tail!
123
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,191
A thousand eyes!
124
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,610
Trapped forever!
125
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:04,572
(grunting like Three Stooges)
126
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:05,782
Dad, do something!
127
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,785
Uh, uh, this book
doesn't have any answers!
128
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,496
Beware, beware!
Time is short!
129
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,499
Epa! Epa!
Epa...!
130
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:15,750
(loud thud)
131
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,669
Believe me!
Believe me...!
132
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,673
(speaking gibberish)
133
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,426
(continues speaking gibberish)
134
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,637
Thanks for listening.
135
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,684
Okay, who
wants waffles?
136
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,645
GRANDPA/BART/LISA:
I do! I do! I do!
137
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,313
Wait a minute.
What about Grandpa?
138
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,981
-I want syrup.
-I want strawberries!
139
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,650
Something happened
to that man.
140
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,402
I'll tell you what
happened to him.
141
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:45,822
A certain someone
had a senior moment.
142
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,074
But that's okay,
because we love him
143
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,618
and we got a free
rug out of it.
144
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,247
What is the point of going
to church every Sunday
145
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,706
when if someone we love has
146
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,584
a genuine religious
experience, we ignore it?
147
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,837
Right, Grandpa?
148
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,256
I want bananas
on my waffles!
149
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,216
I rest my case.
150
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,469
I'm not dropping this.
151
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,560
Wait a minute!
I'm still in the car!
152
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,687
Oh, right.
153
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,192
Hmm...
154
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,153
"Take out hornets' nest."
155
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,488
(hornets buzzing)
156
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,367
(frenzied buzzing)
157
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,493
Check.
158
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,828
"Fix sinkhole."
159
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,913
(quiet sucking)
160
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,417
(sucking continues)
161
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,378
(plop)
(sucking stops)
162
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,921
Check.
163
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,965
"Reshingle roof"?
164
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:48,468
(birds chirping)
165
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,053
Steady...
166
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,724
Steady...
167
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,184
(loud squish)
Ow-how-how!
168
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,852
-Ow-how-how!
-(laughing)
169
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,520
(continues laughing)
170
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,897
(yells):
Why, you little...
171
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,859
I'll teach you to laugh
at something that's funny!
172
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,028
(exhales): You know,
we are on the roof.
173
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:08,988
We could have some fun.
174
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,032
What kind of fun?
175
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,658
How about a dare contest?
176
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,327
That sounds fun.
177
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,995
I dare you to...
178
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,788
climb the TV antenna.
179
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,750
Piece of cake.
180
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,251
Earthquake!
(laughing)
181
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,711
(both laughing)
182
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,296
(laughing, gasps)
183
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,381
(grunting)
184
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,009
Aftershock!
185
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,345
(playful grunting,
Bart laughing)
186
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,932
NED: Uh, Homer, I don't mean to
be a nervous Pervis or anything,
187
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:39,936
but if he falls, couldn't that
make your boy a parapleg-erino?
188
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,064
-Shut up, Flanders.
-Yeah, shut up, Flanders.
189
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:44,607
Well said, boy.
190
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:45,858
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
191
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,277
Steady... steady...
192
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,904
steady...
193
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:51,572
(yells, thuds)
194
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,241
(laughing)
195
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,951
(knocking)
196
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,495
LISA: Hello.
Sorry to bother you on a Sunday,
197
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:59,997
but I'm sure you're
as worried about the pollution
198
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,000
-in Lake Springfield as I am...
-(door slams)
199
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,964
(knocking)
200
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:11,259
Lake Springfield has higher
levels of mercury than even...
201
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,010
(door slams)
202
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,478
Why, it's the little
girl who saved my cat.
203
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,355
-Lake Springfield...
-(door slams)
204
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,315
(sighs)
205
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,858
(doors slamming)
206
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:28,985
(dog yelps)
207
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:32,530
(door slams, bell rings,
ship's horn blows)
208
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,782
(groans):
Oh...
209
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,867
-(door creaks)
-Come on over, Lisa.
210
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:40,371
You can canvass me
as long as you want.
211
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,873
Milhouse, you don't care
about the environment.
212
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,459
Hey! I am very passionate
about the planet!
213
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,295
Say global warming
is a myth!
214
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,547
It's a myth!
Further study is needed!
215
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,840
(grunts)
216
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,551
That's for selling out
your beliefs!
217
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,430
Oh, poor Milhouse.
218
00:09:57,513 --> 00:10:00,308
-Dream coming true.
-(knocking)
219
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,685
BOY: Are you aware that
a leaky faucet can waste over...
220
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,687
-(door slams)
-2,000 gallons a year.
221
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,188
And turning off your lights
can save...
222
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,607
Enough energy
to power Pittsburgh.
223
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,234
And if we just kept our
thermostats at 68 in the winter...
224
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,321
We'd be free from our dependency
on foreign oil in 17 years!
225
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,989
-I'm Colin.
-(gasps softly)
226
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:16,824
I haven't seen you at school.
227
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:18,909
Just moved from Ireland.
My dad's a musician.
228
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,703
-Is he...
-He's not Bono.
229
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,247
I just thought because you're
Irish and you care about...
230
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,332
He's not Bono.
231
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,000
Do you play?
232
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,210
Just piano, guitar,
trumpet, drums and bass.
233
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,087
(thinking):
He's pure gold!
234
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,757
For once in your life, be cool.
235
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,217
So, is your name as
pretty as your face?
236
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,636
Oh!
237
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,347
(screeches):
Ha! Ha!
238
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,890
You okay there?
239
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,141
(gagging)
240
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,602
(choking, giggling)
241
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:48,064
Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!
Trapped forever!
242
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,774
Epa! Epa!
243
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:52,360
"Epa." What
could that be?
244
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,695
I believe it's the sound
the Green Lantern made
245
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,365
when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.
246
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,700
Ee-pah!
247
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:00,910
Yeah.
248
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,037
Uh, thanks
for coming over.
249
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,247
Thanks for giving me
your pregnancy pants.
250
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,083
I've never known
comfort like this.
251
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,417
(elastic slaps)
252
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,378
(BB's pinging, Homer grunting)
253
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:14,632
D'oh! Oh, why did I--
oh!-- suggest this?
254
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,425
(shrieking):
Oh! Aah!
255
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,178
Ow! Ee!
256
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,305
Aah! Aah!
257
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,598
(continues shrieking)
258
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,849
(timer dings)
259
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,770
All right, boy, time
for the ultimate dare.
260
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,939
I dare you...
261
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,233
to skateboard
to Krusty Burger...
262
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,568
and back...
263
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,487
naked.
264
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,613
How naked?
265
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,614
Fourth base.
266
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,074
But girls might
see my doodle.
267
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,742
(mocking):
Oh, I see.
268
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:45,079
Then I hereby declare you
"chicken for life."
269
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:49,083
Every morning you'll wake up
to "Good morning, chicken."
270
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,001
At your wedding, I'll sing,
271
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,587
(clucking "Wedding March")
272
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,297
(surprised cluck)
273
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,800
(surf rock playing)
274
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,637
(people gasp)
275
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,306
♪ ♪
276
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,643
I like men now.
277
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,020
Don't look where
I'm pointing!
278
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,026
♪ ♪
279
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:29,165
(siren wailing)
280
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:32,960
(over loudspeaker): Stop in the
name of American squeamishness!
281
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,926
(tires screech, drivers gasping)
282
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,637
Boys, before we eat, don't
forget to thank the Lord
283
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,889
for this bountiful...
284
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,056
Penis!
285
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,642
-Bountiful penis.
-Bountiful penis.
286
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:49,935
Amen.
287
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,937
-(glass squeaking)
-Listen, kid,
288
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,481
nobody likes wearing
clothes in public,
289
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,107
but, you know,
it-it's the law.
290
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,488
Lunchtime!
291
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,573
You can't just
leave me out here.
292
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,033
Don't worry.
293
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,368
We found a friend
for you to play with.
294
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:10,790
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
295
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:15,336
(hoarsely):
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha...
296
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,922
Nelson, honey,
where've you been?
297
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:21,717
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
298
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:23,803
Dad!
299
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,763
What seems to be
the problem, officers?
300
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,723
Tell them you dared me to do it.
301
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,099
If that's true,
302
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,977
then you should be taking
the rap here, not your son.
303
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:37,483
And... what happens
to me if it's my fault?
304
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:40,486
You'll have to attend a
one-hour parenting class.
305
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,946
It was all his idea!
306
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,865
He's out of control, I tell you!
I'm at my wit's end!
307
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,201
(sobbing):
It's so...
308
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:50,204
See you in
court, kid.
309
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,915
Okay, Son,
let's get some lunch.
310
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,750
Did you at least bring
my clothes?
311
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,418
Shirt, socks,
everything you need.
312
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,003
You didn't bring my pants!
313
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,588
Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
314
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,840
(sighs):
Oh...
315
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,008
this is the worst day
of my life.
316
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:07,179
The worst day
of your life so far.
317
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,599
Say, Bart?
318
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,309
What do you want, Flanders?
319
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,145
If you need pants,
I carry an extra pair.
320
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:18,148
I mean, you know how boys are,
always praying through the knees.
321
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,609
Why are you helping me?
I'm not your kid.
322
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,861
We're neighbors.
323
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,572
I'm sure your father
would do the same for my boys.
324
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,323
HOMER:
Thank you.
325
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,911
HOMER (chomping):
Mm, mm, mm...
326
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,080
(mumbling)
327
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,082
Hey, what's with you?
328
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,417
You really want to know?
329
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,918
Of course I do.
330
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,504
What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...
331
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:42,131
a pig wearing a hat!
332
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,466
MAN:
Action.
333
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,760
Hey, hey!
It's your old pal Krusty
334
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,388
for my new pork sandwich,
the Clogger!
335
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,807
If you can find
a greasier sandwich,
336
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,559
you're in Mexico!
337
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,644
(goofy laughing)
338
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,314
Mmm!
339
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,065
MAN:
And we're clear.
340
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,277
Perfect.
Cut, print, kill the pig.
341
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,154
(squealing)
342
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:08,449
What?! You can't kill him if
he's wearing people clothes.
343
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:09,783
(squeals)
344
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:14,121
(squeaks, snorts)
345
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,999
♪ I can't see me ♪
346
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:20,002
♪ Loving nobody but you... ♪
347
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:24,590
-You're coming home with me.
-(squeals, snorts)
348
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,593
VIDEO GAME BABY:
Ga-ga, goo... (gagging)
349
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,345
"A thousand eyes."
350
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,096
What could that be?
351
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:35,851
Hmm, I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.
352
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,186
Hey, Marge.
353
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,771
Isn't it great
being married
354
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,689
to someone who's
recklessly impulsive?
355
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,067
Actually, it's
aged me horribly.
356
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:46,362
Then say hello
to the newest Simpson!
357
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,697
(dramatic music plays)
358
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,574
(gasps)
359
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:53,327
Homer!
360
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,371
(quiet grunt)
361
00:15:55,454 --> 00:16:00,250
I believe what happened in church
was a warning about precisely this.
362
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,503
Please, get rid
of that pig!
363
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,213
Oh, you're gonna love him.
364
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,382
Look-- he does
an impression of you.
365
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,716
(squeals loudly)
366
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,218
(grunting)
367
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,887
(laughing):
You nailed her.
368
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,014
He also does me.
369
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,099
(belches)
370
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,225
(laughing)
371
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,977
You smiled! I'm off the hook!
372
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:23,732
Ooh.
373
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,527
(humming)
374
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:29,738
Oh, you have so many looks.
375
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,075
(pig snorts)
376
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,994
(sighs)
377
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,541
(kissing)
378
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,628
(vacuum whirring)
379
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,425
Hmm, so that's what snug is.
380
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,343
HOMER (playfully):
Who's a good pig?
381
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,636
(blowing raspberries)
382
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,180
Who's a good pig?
383
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,102
NED:
Rough day, huh, son?
384
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,605
You don't know what
rough is, sister.
385
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,857
(chuckles)
386
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,191
Bart, you know,
whenever my boys
387
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,819
bake up a batch of frownies,
I take them fishing.
388
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,655
Does your dad
ever take you fishing?
389
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,492
-(electrical buzzing)
-Dad!
390
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,287
It's not fair to use a bug
zapper to catch the fish.
391
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,164
If you love
fish like I do,
392
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,166
you want them
to die with dignity.
393
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,419
(loud zapping)
394
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,463
(gurgling)
395
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,381
I think I have a nibble.
396
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,008
(screams)
397
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,177
(electrical crackling,
screaming)
398
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,137
(screaming,
electrical crackling)
399
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,889
(electrical crackling,
screaming)
400
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,601
I think fishing
might be more fun with you.
401
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:41,852
Oh, great.
402
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,854
Now, how 'bout
I fix you some cocoa?
403
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:45,814
No way, cocoa's
for wusses.
404
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,901
Well, sir, if you change your
mind, it's on the windowsill.
405
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,208
(grunts)
406
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,128
(slurping)
407
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,756
Oh, my God.
408
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,426
Oh, wait. I didn't
tell you the best part.
409
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:15,719
He loves the environment.
410
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,721
Oh, wait, I still didn't
tell you the best part.
411
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,265
He's got an Irish brogue.
412
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,976
No, no, wait, wait! I still
didn't tell you the best part!
413
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,520
He's not imaginary.
414
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:27,356
Oh, honey, that's great.
415
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:31,443
But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.
416
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,613
Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
417
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,324
How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
418
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:38,826
HOMER:
♪ Spider Pig ♪
419
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:42,663
♪ Spider Pig, does whatever
a Spider Pig does ♪
420
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,124
♪ Can he swing from a web? ♪
421
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,417
♪ No, he can't, he's a pig ♪
422
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,836
♪ Look out... ♪
423
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,755
♪ He is a Spider Pig. ♪
424
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,007
(ducks quacking)
425
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,178
Are we having fun yet?
426
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,139
We are now.
You've got a bite.
427
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,765
Whoa, mama!
428
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,602
Oh, no, my good pole!
429
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,271
(choking)
430
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,608
Huh? You're not
strangling me.
431
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:12,860
What the...?
432
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,486
Why, strangling's
only good for...
433
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,446
Well, it's not really
good for anything.
434
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,699
I think the only time you
should lay hands on a boy
435
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:21,160
is when you're giving him
a good old pat on the back.
436
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,619
Hey, what the hell
are you...?
437
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,040
Oh...
438
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,250
One more time.
439
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,926
(incoherent rambling,
meowing)
440
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,432
-(bottles clinking)
-Honey, I'm home.
441
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,516
(shrieks)
442
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,853
(growls)
443
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:50,272
(guitar playing sweetly)
444
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,608
LISA: We are at the tipping
point, people.
445
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:56,111
If we don't do
something now, uh...
446
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,905
I'm sorry, I lost
my train of thought.
447
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,781
Isn't he dreamy?
448
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,116
-Agreed.
-(gavel bangs)
449
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,826
Okay, so here's
the bottom line.
450
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,828
If we don't change
our ways right now,
451
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,455
pollution in Lake
Springfield
452
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,833
-will be at this level.
-(motor whirring)
453
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,418
That's not so bad.
454
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:15,380
-No, the lift is stuck.
-(gears grinding)
455
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,300
(whirring, grinding)
456
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,468
(crashing)
457
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,971
Am I getting through to anyone?
458
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:23,972
Hell, yeah!
459
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,682
We need a new one
of those things.
460
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:28,185
All in favor of a new
scissor lift say aye.
461
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:30,145
-ALL: Aye!
-No!
462
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,398
This lake is just
one piece of trash away
463
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,359
from a toxic nightmare.
464
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,861
But I knew you wouldn't listen,
so I took the liberty
465
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,989
of pouring water from the lake
in all your drinking glasses.
466
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,616
(spitting, groaning)
467
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,910
MOE: This is why we
should hate kids.
468
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,288
This is serious, people.
No more dumping in the lake.
469
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,832
I hereby declare
a state of emergency.
470
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,876
Code black.
471
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:53,794
(gasping)
472
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:54,920
Black?
473
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,506
That's the worst
color there is.
474
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:59,216
No offense there, Carl.
475
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,759
I get it all the time.
476
00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:04,263
(triumphant orchestration plays)
477
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:13,397
(sizzling)
478
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,441
(machinery whirring)
479
00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:19,903
Uh, sorry, sorry.
No dumping in the lake.
480
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,321
Fine.
481
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:25,284
I will put my yard trimmings
in a car compactor.
482
00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:29,579
Uh... Chief, I think there
was a dead body in there.
483
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,749
I thought that, too,
until he said "yard trimmings."
484
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,210
You got to learn to listen, Lou.
485
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,337
Let us now make sure
this barrier
486
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:39,423
is completely idiot proof.
487
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:40,966
Cletus.
488
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:42,050
Yessum?
489
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,885
Try to dump something
in the lake.
490
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,470
Okay.
491
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,982
I can't.
I-I simply can't.
492
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,900
-Brilliant.
-Very effective.
493
00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:03,071
(snorts)
494
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,199
(kissing)
495
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,035
Ayayay!
496
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:10,245
Un burro amoroso!
497
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,789
Don't get any ideas. Huh?
498
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,875
(both laughing)
499
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:20,756
Maybe we should kiss
just to break the tension.
500
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,424
What's going on here?
501
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:23,925
Uh, nothing,
nothing.
502
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,803
I'm not sure that pig
should be in the house.
503
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,472
And by the way,
what are you doing
504
00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:31,016
with his... leavings?
505
00:22:31,099 --> 00:22:32,100
Don't worry.
506
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,020
I've devised a most
elegant solution.
507
00:22:36,938 --> 00:22:38,690
(groans):
Oh, it's leaking.
508
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:40,067
It's not leaking,
509
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:42,402
it's overflowing.
510
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:46,406
He filled up the whole
silo in just two days?
511
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:47,783
Well, I helped.
512
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:48,784
Homer, stop.
513
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:52,662
I know it's easy
for your mind to wander...
514
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:55,248
(cymbals clicking)
515
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:58,293
(muffled): I want you to
really concentrate on me.
516
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:03,006
I can't escape
the feeling
517
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:06,468
that this is the crisis
Grandpa warned us about.
518
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,805
You have to dispose
of that waste properly.
519
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,349
Okay, Marge, I will.
520
00:23:12,432 --> 00:23:14,476
You can take
Spider Pig with you.
521
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,020
He's not Spider Pig anymore.
He's Harry Plopper.
522
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:18,355
(snorts)
523
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:27,447
(faint cell phone chiming)
524
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:30,784
(grunts)
525
00:23:30,867 --> 00:23:32,786
Y'ello.
526
00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:34,329
Homer, you got
to get over here.
527
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,456
The health inspector just
shut down the doughnut store
528
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,166
and they're giving
out free doughnuts.
529
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,668
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God.
530
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:41,336
I just got one thing
I got to do first.
531
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,172
Well, you better hurry!
They're going fast.
532
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:45,757
(gunshot)
533
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,884
Whoa, that was close.
534
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,678
Oh!
535
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:51,388
(tires screeching)
536
00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:00,897
(grunts)
537
00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:10,699
(gurgling)
538
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:20,584
(gurgling)
539
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:23,003
(fizzing)
540
00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:24,588
Uh-oh.
541
00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:31,595
(deep voice):
Evil!
542
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:34,639
Drive, drive, drive!
543
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:36,558
-(snorting)
-Oh, right.
544
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,687
(tires screeching)
545
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,066
(chittering)
546
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,110
(snarling)
547
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,779
(bubbling)
548
00:24:51,239 --> 00:24:54,451
(growling)
549
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:56,953
(giggles)
550
00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:05,045
Look at that.
551
00:25:05,128 --> 00:25:07,172
You can see the four states
that border Springfield.
552
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:11,092
Ohio, Nevada,
Maine and Kentucky.
553
00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:12,511
Oh, yeah.
554
00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:15,096
And if you look real close,
you can almost...
555
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,181
(shrieks)
556
00:25:18,433 --> 00:25:21,269
Well...
this certainly seems odd,
557
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:25,148
but who am I to question
the work of the Almighty?
558
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,776
Oh... we thank you, Lord,
559
00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:31,238
for this mighty fine
intelligent design.
560
00:25:31,321 --> 00:25:33,490
Good job.
561
00:25:33,573 --> 00:25:36,243
Jabbity-jabbity-jab-jab-jab.
562
00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:39,746
Hey, jab one more eye,
and it's a federal crime.
563
00:25:39,829 --> 00:25:42,624
-Who are you?
-Environmental Protection Agency.
564
00:25:50,882 --> 00:25:54,010
Russ Cargill, head of the E.P.A.,
here to see the president.
565
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:55,387
(buzzing)
566
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:57,222
(rapid buzzing)
567
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,809
Mr. President.
568
00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:03,478
Ja.That is me.
569
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:07,315
Pollution in Springfield
has reached crisis levels.
570
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,317
Oh... I hate this job.
571
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,945
Everything's crisis this
and end of the world that.
572
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:13,697
Nobody opens with a joke.
573
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:15,365
I miss Danny DeVito.
574
00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:16,741
You want a joke, huh?
575
00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:18,285
Stop me if you've
heard this one.
576
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,161
-(growling)
-(gasps)
577
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:23,164
Look at those angry
eyes and giant teeth.
578
00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:25,625
It's like Christmas
at the Kennedy compound.
579
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,419
You know, sir,
when you made me
580
00:26:27,502 --> 00:26:29,713
head of the E.P.A.,
you were applauded
581
00:26:29,796 --> 00:26:32,507
for appointing one of the most
successful men in America
582
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,926
to the least successful
agency in government.
583
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,012
And why did I take the job?
584
00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:39,639
'Cause I'm a rich man who
wanted to give something back.
585
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:41,725
Not the money, but something.
586
00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:46,104
So here is our chance to kick
some ass for Mother Earth.
587
00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:47,147
I'm listening.
588
00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:49,190
Well, I've narrowed
your choices down
589
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:51,192
to five
unthinkable options.
590
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:52,819
Each will
cause untold misery...
591
00:26:52,902 --> 00:26:54,654
I pick number three.
592
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:56,489
You don't even want
to read them first?
593
00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:59,326
I was elected to lead,
not to read.
594
00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:00,368
Number three!
595
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:03,913
(low rumbling)
596
00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:10,170
(inhaler whooshing)
597
00:27:10,253 --> 00:27:12,047
(choking)
598
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:14,341
(rumbling)
599
00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:20,430
(screaming)
600
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:25,352
(rotors whirring)
601
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,698
(cracking, rumbling)
602
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:43,536
(gasping):
We're being sealed in a dome.
603
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:45,538
(yells)
604
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:46,706
(thuds)
Whoa!
605
00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:48,917
Oh, what do I do?
I don't know what to do.
606
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,919
If I stay I'm trapped,
if I leave I'm alone.
607
00:27:51,002 --> 00:27:52,796
Oh, God!
In, out, in, out...
608
00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:54,172
I never saw Venice.
609
00:27:55,548 --> 00:27:58,593
(helicopter blades whirring)
610
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,262
(crashing)
611
00:28:05,725 --> 00:28:07,686
EPA! EPA!
612
00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:09,771
Trapped forever.
613
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:11,856
It's all come true.
614
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:15,652
That crazy old man
in church was right.
615
00:28:15,735 --> 00:28:17,404
(suction popping)
616
00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:25,620
(screaming):
D'oh... ome!
617
00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:32,335
(indistinct murmuring)
618
00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:35,380
(sirens approaching)
619
00:28:35,463 --> 00:28:37,549
(gasping, shrieking)
620
00:28:39,926 --> 00:28:42,303
All right, men,
open fire.
621
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,347
-(gunshots ricocheting)
-Ow!
622
00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,307
Who's hurt?
Raise your hands.
623
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:48,017
(groaning)
624
00:28:48,101 --> 00:28:49,310
Without the attitude.
625
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,353
People, people.
626
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:52,147
I have an important
announcement.
627
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:55,483
I have just perfected
an acid-firing superdrill
628
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,360
which can cut through anything.
629
00:28:57,444 --> 00:28:58,903
-That's cool.
-(crowd gasping)
630
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,029
It's right there.
631
00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:02,741
Just outside...
of the dome.
632
00:29:02,824 --> 00:29:03,950
(crowd groaning)
633
00:29:04,033 --> 00:29:05,285
(banging)
634
00:29:05,368 --> 00:29:09,289
What ruthless madmen
could have done this to us?
635
00:29:09,372 --> 00:29:10,957
CARGILL:
The United States government.
636
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,500
(gasping, murmuring)
637
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:13,877
(static hisses)
638
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,004
My name is Russ Cargill,
and I'm head of the E.P.A.
639
00:29:16,087 --> 00:29:17,338
(indistinct murmuring)
640
00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:18,506
The what?
641
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:20,008
Environmental Protection Agency.
642
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,259
LENNY:
Come again?
643
00:29:21,342 --> 00:29:23,720
Look, I'm a man on a big TV.
Just listen.
644
00:29:23,803 --> 00:29:25,096
Springfield has become...
645
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:26,639
MAN:
Whoo! Springfield!
646
00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:28,975
...the most polluted city
in the history of the planet.
647
00:29:29,058 --> 00:29:30,852
KRUSTY:
Drama queen!
648
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:33,104
To prevent your poisons
from spreading,
649
00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:35,356
your government has sealed you
all within this dome.
650
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:36,858
(gasping)
651
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:38,777
Believe me, it's the last thing
we wanted to do.
652
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:40,403
I do own the company
that makes the dome,
653
00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:41,696
but that's beside the point.
654
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:43,490
What, are you telling us
we're trapped like rats?
655
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:45,575
No, rats can't
be trapped this easily.
656
00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:48,161
You're trapped like... carrots.
657
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:52,248
Wait, wait.
We couldn't be more polluted.
658
00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:54,417
Everyone stopped
dumping in the lake.
659
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:56,836
Apparently someone
didn't get the message.
660
00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,756
Act natural.
661
00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:00,715
(snorts)
662
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,050
Hey, buddy, sooner or later,
663
00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:04,427
people are going to come by
and discover this.
664
00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:05,887
Don't worry about that.
665
00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:08,473
We found a way
to take you off the map.
666
00:30:10,016 --> 00:30:11,726
G.P.A. VOICE:
Coming up on your right...
667
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:14,229
(beep)
...nothing.
668
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:17,232
This is Kent Brockman, reporting
to you on a crisis so serious
669
00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:19,359
it has its own name
and theme music.
670
00:30:19,442 --> 00:30:22,529
(dramatic theme playing)
671
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:25,240
The dome has put an end
to life as we know it.
672
00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,617
The town is running low
on supplies of everything
673
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:30,245
from gasoline to Botox.
674
00:30:30,328 --> 00:30:31,871
Moment, please.
675
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:37,377
Now, as always--
(chuckles)
676
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:40,129
we end our news
on the lighter side.
677
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:43,758
It's the time of year when the
swallows return to Springfield.
678
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:44,884
(chirping)
679
00:30:44,968 --> 00:30:45,927
(thudding)
680
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:47,554
(screeching along glass)
681
00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,180
(meowing)
682
00:30:49,264 --> 00:30:52,100
(wind rustling trees)
683
00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:54,185
(MARGE sighs deeply)
684
00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:59,357
I think the thing I miss most
is a simple summer breeze.
685
00:31:03,778 --> 00:31:04,612
(gasps)
686
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,030
Maggie?
687
00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:08,116
(sucks pacifier)
688
00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:10,159
(on TV): We've got dome wax,
dome polish, dome freshener,
689
00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:11,619
all your dome needs
at Dome Depot,
690
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:14,247
located at the intersection
of the 105 Freeway and the dome.
691
00:31:14,330 --> 00:31:15,582
CHORUS:
♪ Dome Depot! ♪
692
00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:16,666
(bell dings)
693
00:31:16,749 --> 00:31:18,918
-Maggie got out! Maggie got out!
-Huh?
694
00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:23,131
Maggie was right there.
695
00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:25,341
Just outside the dome.
696
00:31:25,425 --> 00:31:27,635
Marge, she's right here.
697
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:28,970
Hmm...?
698
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,847
This dome can
play tricks on you.
699
00:31:30,930 --> 00:31:33,391
You just have to
keep calm and...
700
00:31:33,474 --> 00:31:34,475
Oh, my God!
701
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:35,977
I'm out of the dome.
702
00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:37,020
Fresh air!
703
00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,479
Freedom!
704
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:40,106
(laughing hysterically)
705
00:31:40,189 --> 00:31:41,983
I'll write you.
Lead good lives.
706
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:45,445
(HOMER groans)
707
00:31:45,528 --> 00:31:47,071
(MARGE sighs heavily)
708
00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:55,788
(sucks pacifier)
709
00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:57,665
(dramatic news theme
plays on TV)
710
00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,834
Good evening,
this is Kent Brockman.
711
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,085
Efforts to find out
712
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:02,962
whose selfish crime
against the environment
713
00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:05,340
caused our entrapment
have been fruitless...
714
00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:06,257
(chuckles)
715
00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,425
...until moments ago.
716
00:32:07,508 --> 00:32:09,344
-(shrieks)
-A shocking discovery
717
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:11,346
has been made
here at Lake Springfield.
718
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:15,224
That could be anybody's
pig crap silo.
719
00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:18,603
(shrieks)
720
00:32:18,686 --> 00:32:20,521
(gasps):
Homer!
721
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,941
It was you!
722
00:32:23,024 --> 00:32:25,818
You single-handedly
killed this town.
723
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:28,237
I know. It's weird.
724
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:29,530
Just a reminder.
725
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:32,075
This station does not endorse
vigilante justice.
726
00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:34,702
Unless it gets results--
which it will.
727
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,329
(buzzer sounding)
728
00:32:36,412 --> 00:32:40,583
You didn't listen to me
after I warned you!
729
00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:44,045
Don't worry, nobody watches
this stupid show.
730
00:32:44,128 --> 00:32:46,798
Hmm, what's that ominous glow
in the distance?
731
00:32:46,881 --> 00:32:50,343
(clamoring)
732
00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:52,178
MOB (chanting):
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
733
00:32:52,261 --> 00:32:56,891
Kill! Kill! Kill!
Kill! Kill! Kill!
734
00:33:01,104 --> 00:33:04,732
Marge, look, those idiots
don't even know where we live.
735
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,860
Kill! Kill! Kill!
736
00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:08,861
D'oh!
737
00:33:08,945 --> 00:33:10,863
(chanting):
We want Homer!
738
00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:12,031
We want Homer!
739
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:15,034
You monster! You monster!
740
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,661
Uh, did you see the news?
741
00:33:16,744 --> 00:33:18,871
Honey, come on, we
have bigger problems.
742
00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:21,290
But I'm so angry.
743
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:22,458
You're a woman.
744
00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:24,877
You can hold
on to it forever.
745
00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:26,045
(sniffles)
746
00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:27,255
Okay.
747
00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:28,881
(chanting continues)
748
00:33:28,965 --> 00:33:32,260
Homer, you have to go out there,
face that mob
749
00:33:32,343 --> 00:33:34,929
and apologize for what you did.
750
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,306
I would, but I'm afraid
if I open the door,
751
00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:38,599
they'll take all of you.
752
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,601
CARL: No, we won't!
We just want Homer!
753
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:43,104
Well, maybe not you,
but they'll kill Grandpa.
754
00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:44,981
GRANDPA:
I'm part of the mob!
755
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,569
Teeny, take out the baby!
756
00:33:49,652 --> 00:33:50,653
(screeches)
757
00:33:54,657 --> 00:33:56,075
(squealing)
758
00:33:57,535 --> 00:33:59,746
(clamoring)
759
00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:01,831
(sweet, romantic theme
playing)
760
00:34:01,914 --> 00:34:02,790
(gasps)
761
00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:04,959
Here, let me get
that for you.
762
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:08,171
(disappointed sigh)
763
00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:12,258
(rattling)
764
00:34:12,341 --> 00:34:14,260
Stay back, I got a chain saw!
765
00:34:14,343 --> 00:34:16,387
(imitates chain saw revving)
766
00:34:21,851 --> 00:34:23,728
(slowly, weakly making chain saw sounds)
767
00:34:23,811 --> 00:34:25,104
Uh-oh.
768
00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,189
(mob shouting)
769
00:34:26,272 --> 00:34:29,233
Bart! Crawl across, hurry!
770
00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:31,694
But if they see you trying to
help us, they'll kill you.
771
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:34,530
Oh, pshaw! I'm sure your father
would do the same for...
772
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:38,201
Point taken.
Now hustle your bustles.
773
00:34:41,871 --> 00:34:43,623
Archers!
774
00:34:43,706 --> 00:34:46,459
I'm using a red arrow,
so I know who I kill.
775
00:34:47,710 --> 00:34:49,545
(grunting)
776
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:51,380
No, Plopper.
777
00:34:51,464 --> 00:34:54,092
If you push that,
daddy will die.
778
00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:56,928
(all screaming)
779
00:34:57,011 --> 00:34:58,679
(grunting)
780
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:01,516
Hey, my luck's beginning
to turn.
781
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:07,772
Wait, there's something
I have to get.
782
00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:16,072
(gasps):
Ooh!
783
00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:19,575
(grunts)
784
00:35:24,747 --> 00:35:26,374
What'd you get?
785
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:28,084
Our wedding video.
786
00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:29,335
We have a wedding video?
787
00:35:29,418 --> 00:35:30,586
KRUSTY:
Torch his gas tank!
788
00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:35,591
We lost 'em!
789
00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:36,759
Yahoo!
790
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:38,553
(laughing)
791
00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:52,191
BART:
Ooh! Up here!
792
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,278
Get 'em! Get 'em!
793
00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:00,783
HOMER:
Uh, little help?
794
00:36:02,493 --> 00:36:05,580
(HOMER howls)
795
00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:11,294
You know, the word "apology" is
tossed around a lot these days,
796
00:36:11,377 --> 00:36:13,629
but when it comes
from in here...
797
00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:15,423
D'oh!
798
00:36:20,511 --> 00:36:21,470
(HOMER screams)
799
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,394
Mom, what are
we going to do!?
800
00:36:31,230 --> 00:36:32,690
Maggie, not now.
801
00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:35,568
We'll play later.
802
00:36:42,658 --> 00:36:43,576
(gasps)
803
00:36:43,659 --> 00:36:45,244
The sinkhole.
804
00:36:45,328 --> 00:36:46,537
Follow me, kids.
805
00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:47,872
BART:
Geronimo!
806
00:36:47,955 --> 00:36:48,956
LISA:
Sacagawea!
807
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:56,005
So long, losers.
808
00:36:58,007 --> 00:36:59,634
(thud)
809
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:01,719
Uh-oh.
810
00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:04,680
The top of his head
is still showing.
811
00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:06,390
Claw at it!
812
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:09,143
(HOMER shrieking)
813
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:10,895
NELSON:
Ha-ha!
814
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:18,694
(crowd exclaiming)
815
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:21,197
(car alarm wailing)
816
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,616
(deep rumbling)
817
00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:27,620
(crowd screaming)
818
00:37:31,874 --> 00:37:34,710
(clock chiming)
819
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,464
(cuckoos)
820
00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:43,261
Well, they're
China's problem now.
821
00:37:51,394 --> 00:37:52,561
(knocking)
822
00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:55,273
Colin!
823
00:37:58,484 --> 00:38:01,529
(no audio)
824
00:38:01,612 --> 00:38:04,240
I can't hear you!
825
00:38:05,908 --> 00:38:07,785
(marker squeaking)
826
00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:10,830
Oh!
827
00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:20,589
♪ Da, da-da, da-da, da, da... ♪
828
00:38:23,884 --> 00:38:25,886
I never thought my life
829
00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:29,432
would have an absolutely
perfect moment, but this...
830
00:38:29,515 --> 00:38:32,393
(singsongy): Lisa's got a boyfriend
that she'll never see again!
831
00:38:32,476 --> 00:38:33,561
(grunts)
832
00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:34,895
Perfect.
833
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,689
(sirens wailing)
834
00:38:41,777 --> 00:38:43,237
(tires screeching)
835
00:38:45,614 --> 00:38:47,366
What do we do?
836
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:49,035
Now we run.
837
00:38:53,664 --> 00:38:55,541
I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
838
00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:57,001
Damn it.
839
00:38:57,084 --> 00:38:59,920
Well, then you find them and
you get them back in the dome.
840
00:39:00,004 --> 00:39:01,756
And to make sure
nobody else gets out,
841
00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:04,800
I want roving death squads
around the perimeter 24/7.
842
00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:07,928
I want 10,000 tough guys,
and I want 10,000 soft guys
843
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:09,430
to make the tough guys
look tougher.
844
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:10,890
And here's how I want them
arranged:
845
00:39:10,973 --> 00:39:13,434
Tough, tough, soft, tough, soft,
846
00:39:13,517 --> 00:39:17,271
soft, tough, tough,
soft, soft, tough, soft.
847
00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:21,776
Sir, I'm afraid you've
gone mad with power.
848
00:39:21,859 --> 00:39:24,153
Of course I have. Did you ever try
going mad without power?
849
00:39:24,236 --> 00:39:25,946
It's boring.
No one listens to you.
850
00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:37,625
Whew!
851
00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:38,959
(siren wails)
852
00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:39,877
(gasps)
853
00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:47,468
(groaning passionately,
smooching)
854
00:39:47,551 --> 00:39:49,637
Oh...!
855
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,680
(sucks pacifier)
856
00:39:52,890 --> 00:39:55,267
(helicopter blades whirring)
857
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:57,311
Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
858
00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:58,396
I'm troubled.
859
00:39:58,479 --> 00:39:59,313
Bart!
860
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:00,856
I promise I'll stop tomorrow.
861
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:03,526
You'll stop right now.
862
00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:09,198
You come back here,
little man.
863
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:12,034
(groans)
864
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:13,702
(drunkenly):
I miss Flanders.
865
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:16,622
There, I said it.
866
00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:17,957
Where's your father?
867
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,291
He went out.
868
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:21,794
Let's quickly rebuild
our lives while he's gone.
869
00:40:21,877 --> 00:40:23,546
HOMER (in distance):
Hey, guys...?
870
00:40:23,629 --> 00:40:26,590
What's the secret knock again?
871
00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:31,846
Look, I know
I screwed up.
872
00:40:31,929 --> 00:40:32,888
This is big.
873
00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:34,306
It's huge!
874
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:35,516
We're homeless!
875
00:40:35,599 --> 00:40:37,768
Our friends
want to kill us.
876
00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:40,396
Before we can even stay
in the same room with you,
877
00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:43,065
I need to know what was
going through your mind
878
00:40:43,149 --> 00:40:45,568
when you didn't
listen to me
879
00:40:45,651 --> 00:40:48,320
and dumped that silo
in the lake.
880
00:40:48,404 --> 00:40:50,239
-(clueless whimper)
-Homer!
881
00:40:50,322 --> 00:40:52,324
I don't know
what to tell you, Marge.
882
00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:54,326
I don't think about things.
883
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:56,036
I respect people who do,
884
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,831
but I just try
to make the days not hurt
885
00:40:58,914 --> 00:41:02,585
until I get to crawl in
next to you again.
886
00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:04,545
(sweetly): Oh...
887
00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:06,547
(sternly):
I mean, oh.
888
00:41:06,630 --> 00:41:08,382
Look, I'm really sorry.
889
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:11,385
But I'm more than just sorry.
890
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:12,928
I'm prepared with a solution.
891
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:16,182
I've always been afraid
I'd screw up our lives so badly
892
00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:17,725
that we'd need a backup plan.
893
00:41:17,808 --> 00:41:22,646
And that plan is right here.
(chuckles)
894
00:41:23,981 --> 00:41:25,983
No...
895
00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:27,234
Nope.
896
00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:28,319
Bingo.
897
00:41:31,947 --> 00:41:33,282
Bear with me.
898
00:41:34,533 --> 00:41:36,827
Ta... da!
899
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,704
(angelic chorus singing)
900
00:41:38,787 --> 00:41:40,039
Alaska?!
901
00:41:40,122 --> 00:41:41,373
Alaska--
902
00:41:41,457 --> 00:41:44,210
a place where you can't be
too fat or too drunk.
903
00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:45,920
Where no one says things like:
904
00:41:46,003 --> 00:41:49,673
"Let's see your high school
equivalency certificate."
905
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:52,009
Oh, I don't know, Homie.
906
00:41:52,092 --> 00:41:54,428
Oh, I'm not saying it right.
907
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:58,599
Look, the thing is, I can't
start a new life alone.
908
00:41:58,682 --> 00:42:01,519
And I've really come
to like you guys.
909
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:05,981
I just don't see it.
910
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:11,820
Marge, in every marriage,
911
00:42:11,904 --> 00:42:16,116
you get one chance to say:
"I need you to do this with me."
912
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:22,081
And there's only one answer
when somebody says that.
913
00:42:27,419 --> 00:42:28,879
Okay, Homie.
914
00:42:28,963 --> 00:42:31,006
I'm with you.
915
00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:32,716
Thank you, my sweetheart.
916
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,009
BART:
Mom?
917
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:35,135
Yes, honey?
918
00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:37,555
You just bought
another load of crap
919
00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:40,808
from the world's fattest
fertilizer salesman.
920
00:42:40,891 --> 00:42:43,352
You'll pay for ruining
this golden family moment!
921
00:42:43,435 --> 00:42:44,728
Homer!
922
00:42:44,812 --> 00:42:48,232
How are we supposed to get
to Alaska without any money?
923
00:42:48,315 --> 00:42:50,609
All right, Son, if you
don't believe in me,
924
00:42:50,693 --> 00:42:52,861
believe in America.
925
00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:56,448
America, where any man
can make quick money
926
00:42:56,532 --> 00:42:59,034
with no questions asked.
927
00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,540
Step right up
and win my truck.
928
00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:07,751
All you have to do is conquer
the Ball of Death.
929
00:43:07,835 --> 00:43:09,670
-What's the catch?
-No catch--
930
00:43:09,753 --> 00:43:13,549
just ride the motorcycle
all the way around just one time.
931
00:43:13,632 --> 00:43:15,843
Three tries for $10.
932
00:43:15,926 --> 00:43:17,595
Marge, how much money
do we have?
933
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:19,388
-Ten dollars.
-Whoo-hoo!
934
00:43:21,765 --> 00:43:23,350
That counts as a try.
935
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:26,312
(engine revving)
936
00:43:26,395 --> 00:43:27,521
Ow!
937
00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:28,522
That's two.
938
00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:29,982
(engine revs)
939
00:43:30,065 --> 00:43:31,525
Ow!
940
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:32,860
And that's three.
941
00:43:32,943 --> 00:43:34,278
Tell you what
I'm going to do--
942
00:43:34,361 --> 00:43:35,946
just 'cause I like
seeing you hurt yourself:
943
00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:37,489
I'll give you one
on the house.
944
00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:39,533
You're the best.
945
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,327
Dad, when you get
to the top,
946
00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:43,412
don't slow down, speed up!
947
00:43:43,495 --> 00:43:45,164
But that's when
it's the scariest!
948
00:43:45,247 --> 00:43:46,582
Just do it!
949
00:43:53,172 --> 00:43:54,715
Ooh! Oh...!
950
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,052
Whoo-hoo!
951
00:43:58,135 --> 00:43:59,720
Yes!
952
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,222
(crowd cheering,
whistling)
953
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:03,557
Yea, Dad!
954
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:12,691
I'll take that truck now.
955
00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:17,029
Oh, man.
956
00:44:17,112 --> 00:44:18,697
My wives are going to kill me.
957
00:44:20,699 --> 00:44:23,786
HOMER:
Next stop, Alaska!
958
00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:32,294
Day 37 under the dome.
959
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:36,006
We are facing intermittent
power failures which...
960
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:40,761
Okay, very funny.
961
00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:42,721
Now, I'm going to turn
the lights off again.
962
00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:44,098
When they come back on,
963
00:44:44,181 --> 00:44:46,600
I want all my booze
back the way it was.
964
00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:51,939
Yeah, okay.
965
00:44:52,022 --> 00:44:53,148
Okay.
966
00:45:00,572 --> 00:45:02,408
I'm very proud
of you, Bart.
967
00:45:02,491 --> 00:45:04,493
Over 24 hours sober.
968
00:45:04,576 --> 00:45:05,703
You are, aren't you?
969
00:45:05,786 --> 00:45:06,995
I'll prove it.
970
00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:09,832
(moaning with pleasure)
971
00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:14,628
Look, we're giving your father
another chance,
972
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:16,839
and we owe it to him to...
(gasps)
973
00:45:16,922 --> 00:45:18,674
Oh, my God.
974
00:45:18,757 --> 00:45:19,675
Can I help you?
975
00:45:19,758 --> 00:45:23,721
Uh... uh, we need diapers.
976
00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:24,972
Okay...
977
00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:26,515
No, no, we don't.
We don't.
978
00:45:26,598 --> 00:45:27,641
Ladies' razor blades.
979
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:28,642
Right.
980
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:30,060
No, no, no,
we don't.
981
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:31,311
I forgot, we're European.
982
00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:32,312
(giggling)
983
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,313
Uh-huh.
984
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:34,481
Just give us beef jerky.
985
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:37,401
Lots and lots of beef jerky.
986
00:45:37,484 --> 00:45:38,736
That's right;
that's what we need.
987
00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:40,112
That's all
we came in for.
988
00:45:40,195 --> 00:45:41,113
Sure.
989
00:45:41,196 --> 00:45:42,156
Mm-hmm.
990
00:45:45,367 --> 00:45:47,536
Oh, my God, there they...
there they are!
991
00:45:47,619 --> 00:45:49,455
(sucks pacifier)
992
00:45:52,207 --> 00:45:54,126
(BART laughing)
993
00:45:57,921 --> 00:45:59,882
(electrical crackling)
994
00:45:59,965 --> 00:46:01,592
(zapping, crackling)
995
00:46:07,097 --> 00:46:11,101
So, you want some of
my electricity, do you?
996
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,352
(snickering)
997
00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:15,856
Well, for once, the rich
white man is in control.
998
00:46:15,939 --> 00:46:18,025
I have two buttons
behind this desk.
999
00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:20,444
One will supply
your town with power,
1000
00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:22,821
the other
releases the hounds.
1001
00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:25,824
Reach me,
make me your brother.
1002
00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:28,327
The hospital's generator
is about to give out.
1003
00:46:28,410 --> 00:46:29,703
Lives will be lost!
1004
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,872
Lives... lost.
1005
00:46:31,955 --> 00:46:33,665
Go on.
1006
00:46:33,749 --> 00:46:37,044
We got a convict we were going
to fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
1007
00:46:37,127 --> 00:46:39,630
Tempting... tempting.
1008
00:46:39,713 --> 00:46:41,715
Look, all our reasons
mean nothing.
1009
00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:44,802
Just look into your heart,
and you'll find the answer.
1010
00:46:46,678 --> 00:46:49,056
(APU screaming)
1011
00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:50,390
BURNS:
First door on the right.
1012
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:51,391
APU:
Thank you.
1013
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:52,559
(all screaming)
1014
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:53,811
(hounds barking)
1015
00:46:59,274 --> 00:47:03,737
But this isn't the way
I pictured Alaska at all!
1016
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,322
Oh, that's better.
1017
00:47:05,405 --> 00:47:06,323
Homer!
1018
00:47:06,406 --> 00:47:08,367
(tires screeching,
all screaming)
1019
00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:16,458
Well, at least my poster
didn't get torn.
1020
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,710
(fingers squeak against glass)
1021
00:47:18,794 --> 00:47:20,128
(gasping)
1022
00:47:21,421 --> 00:47:25,467
(grand orchestral theme swells)
1023
00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,137
Welcome to Alaska.
1024
00:47:29,221 --> 00:47:30,931
Here's a thousand dollars.
1025
00:47:31,014 --> 00:47:33,684
Well, it's about time, but why?
1026
00:47:33,767 --> 00:47:35,602
We pay every resident
a thousand dollars
1027
00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:36,937
to allow the oil companies
1028
00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:38,981
to ravage our state's
natural beauty.
1029
00:47:39,064 --> 00:47:41,316
I'm home.
1030
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,026
Oh, thanks.
1031
00:47:46,071 --> 00:47:49,074
(lush orchestral theme playing)
1032
00:48:00,669 --> 00:48:02,462
What are you doing, Bart?
1033
00:48:02,546 --> 00:48:04,298
Eh, just passing
the time.
1034
00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:06,925
(clap echoing)
1035
00:48:10,178 --> 00:48:11,763
(clap echoing)
1036
00:48:16,059 --> 00:48:17,978
(clapping)
1037
00:48:18,061 --> 00:48:21,648
Aw. My boy loves Alaska
so much he's applauding it.
1038
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,150
Lisa, why aren't
you clapping?
1039
00:48:23,233 --> 00:48:24,151
But, Dad...!
1040
00:48:24,234 --> 00:48:25,819
Clap for Alaska.
1041
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,487
(clapping)
1042
00:48:27,571 --> 00:48:28,447
(deep rumbling)
1043
00:48:28,530 --> 00:48:29,573
Huh?
1044
00:48:31,116 --> 00:48:32,701
(screaming)
1045
00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:37,623
(snow crunching)
1046
00:48:42,711 --> 00:48:44,004
Well, Marge,
1047
00:48:44,087 --> 00:48:47,341
we're separated from the
kids by a wall of snow.
1048
00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:50,510
All my dreams
are coming true.
1049
00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:52,095
(Disney-style orchestration plays)
1050
00:48:56,725 --> 00:48:58,393
(birds singing)
1051
00:48:58,477 --> 00:49:02,940
(chorus vocalizing melody)
1052
00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:14,493
(fabric tearing)
1053
00:49:19,164 --> 00:49:21,208
(birds tweeting)
1054
00:49:24,169 --> 00:49:25,128
(whistles)
1055
00:49:26,630 --> 00:49:28,048
(screeches)
1056
00:49:28,131 --> 00:49:29,466
(fabric tearing)
1057
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:37,140
(orchestration continues)
1058
00:49:45,524 --> 00:49:47,442
Day 93 under the dome.
1059
00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:49,611
With necessities growing
dangerously low,
1060
00:49:49,695 --> 00:49:53,073
who knows what spark
will set off this powder keg.
1061
00:49:53,156 --> 00:49:55,242
Okay, let's discuss
Tuesdays with Morrie.
1062
00:49:55,325 --> 00:49:56,702
Again?
1063
00:49:56,785 --> 00:49:59,663
If we don't get a new book,
I'm going to puke.
1064
00:49:59,746 --> 00:50:02,374
You're the five people
I'm going to meet in hell!
1065
00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:03,458
(grunting, glass breaking)
1066
00:50:05,252 --> 00:50:07,462
We're out of coffee!
1067
00:50:07,546 --> 00:50:09,172
(screaming)
1068
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,843
I can't take another minute
in this dome!
1069
00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:14,094
(yelling)
1070
00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:17,097
(shouting, grunting)
1071
00:50:20,350 --> 00:50:21,768
Y'ar! Y'ar!
1072
00:50:23,061 --> 00:50:25,022
Take that!
1073
00:50:25,105 --> 00:50:27,441
Oh, no! Blowback.
1074
00:50:27,524 --> 00:50:30,235
(shouting)
1075
00:50:30,318 --> 00:50:32,487
(whirring)
1076
00:50:33,655 --> 00:50:35,490
Look what they're
doing to our dome.
1077
00:50:37,325 --> 00:50:38,618
(grunting)
1078
00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:40,579
(trumpeting)
1079
00:50:40,662 --> 00:50:42,831
(cracking)
1080
00:50:42,914 --> 00:50:44,416
You know what that is, sir?
1081
00:50:44,499 --> 00:50:46,084
-A crack?
-Exactly.
1082
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:47,377
First, let me state the problem.
1083
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:48,920
People got out of
the dome before,
1084
00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:50,505
they're going
to get out again.
1085
00:50:50,589 --> 00:50:52,799
And when they do, there's going
to be hearings, investigations.
1086
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:54,134
(speaking German)
1087
00:50:54,217 --> 00:50:56,511
I'll have to go back
to making family comedies.
1088
00:50:56,595 --> 00:50:58,388
(sighs)
1089
00:50:58,472 --> 00:51:00,390
Don't worry, I have
a solution for you, sir.
1090
00:51:00,474 --> 00:51:03,602
In fact, I have
five solutions.
1091
00:51:03,685 --> 00:51:06,188
You don't even have to read them.
You'll have deniability.
1092
00:51:06,271 --> 00:51:09,149
I'll take care of everything.
You know nothing.
1093
00:51:09,232 --> 00:51:11,026
No. I need to know
what I'm approving.
1094
00:51:11,109 --> 00:51:12,611
Absolutely.
1095
00:51:12,694 --> 00:51:15,280
But on the other hand,
knowing things is overrated.
1096
00:51:15,363 --> 00:51:17,449
Anyone can pick something
when they know what it is.
1097
00:51:17,532 --> 00:51:19,117
It takes real leadership
1098
00:51:19,201 --> 00:51:21,369
to pick something
you're clueless about.
1099
00:51:21,453 --> 00:51:23,663
Okay, I pick three.
1100
00:51:23,747 --> 00:51:24,623
-Try again.
-One.
1101
00:51:24,706 --> 00:51:25,582
-Go higher.
-Five?
1102
00:51:25,665 --> 00:51:26,541
-Too high.
-Three?
1103
00:51:26,625 --> 00:51:27,626
-You already said three.
-Six?
1104
00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:28,794
-There is no six.
-Two?
1105
00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:29,836
-Double it.
-Four!
1106
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:30,921
As you wish, sir.
1107
00:51:40,764 --> 00:51:43,391
(happy music playing on TV)
1108
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:47,187
(on TV): Are you tired of
the same old Grand Canyon?
1109
00:51:47,270 --> 00:51:49,564
Here we are, kids--
the Grand Canyon.
1110
00:51:49,648 --> 00:51:51,566
It's so old and boring.
1111
00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:52,984
I want a new one.
1112
00:51:53,068 --> 00:51:54,319
Now!
1113
00:51:54,402 --> 00:51:57,072
Hello. I'm Tom Hanks.
1114
00:51:57,155 --> 00:51:59,366
The U.S. government
has lost its credibility,
1115
00:51:59,449 --> 00:52:01,493
so it's borrowing
some of mine.
1116
00:52:01,576 --> 00:52:03,036
Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks.
1117
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,496
Sure thing, son.
1118
00:52:04,579 --> 00:52:06,748
(laughs)
1119
00:52:06,832 --> 00:52:10,043
Now, I'm pleased to tell you all
about the new Grand Canyon.
1120
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,461
Coming this weekend.
1121
00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:13,797
It's east of Shelbyville
and south of Capital City.
1122
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,882
That's where Springfield is!
1123
00:52:15,966 --> 00:52:18,218
It's nowhere near
where anything is or ever was.
1124
00:52:18,301 --> 00:52:19,678
This is Tom Hanks saying
1125
00:52:19,761 --> 00:52:21,555
if you're going to pick
a government to trust,
1126
00:52:21,638 --> 00:52:23,056
why not this one?
1127
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:24,599
Did you see that?
1128
00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:27,561
Yes, they're going
to destroy Springfield!
1129
00:52:27,644 --> 00:52:30,856
But we're going to stop them.
Homie, get your clothes on.
1130
00:52:30,939 --> 00:52:32,482
Homie?
1131
00:52:32,566 --> 00:52:34,943
I'm happy here.
Screw Springfield.
1132
00:52:35,026 --> 00:52:36,236
(gasping)
1133
00:52:36,319 --> 00:52:39,239
I can't believe
you'd say something so selfish.
1134
00:52:39,322 --> 00:52:42,659
Marge, those people chased us
with pitchforks and torches.
1135
00:52:42,742 --> 00:52:43,702
Torches!
1136
00:52:43,785 --> 00:52:45,412
At 4:00 in the afternoon!
1137
00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:46,538
It was 7:00 at night.
1138
00:52:46,621 --> 00:52:48,415
It was during
Access Hollywood.
1139
00:52:48,498 --> 00:52:50,458
Which is on at 4:00 and 7:00.
1140
00:52:50,542 --> 00:52:51,543
D'oh!
1141
00:52:51,626 --> 00:52:53,170
Dad, how can you
turn your back
1142
00:52:53,253 --> 00:52:54,588
on everyone who loved us?
1143
00:52:54,671 --> 00:52:56,173
Flanders helped us when
we were in trouble.
1144
00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:58,800
Who cares what Flanders did?
He's not your father.
1145
00:52:58,884 --> 00:52:59,968
I wish he was.
1146
00:53:00,051 --> 00:53:02,429
You don't mean that.
You worship me.
1147
00:53:02,512 --> 00:53:03,430
Oh, yeah?
1148
00:53:03,513 --> 00:53:04,931
Look what I did to your picture.
1149
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:06,600
-(gasping)
-Look at it!
1150
00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:08,518
Howdilly-doodilly.
Howdilly-doodilly.
1151
00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:10,353
-Howdilly-doodilly.
-Why, you little...
1152
00:53:10,437 --> 00:53:11,938
(grunting)
1153
00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:13,023
I'll strangle-angle you.
1154
00:53:13,106 --> 00:53:14,065
Diddily, diddily.
1155
00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:15,358
Bart, stop it!
1156
00:53:15,442 --> 00:53:16,902
Leave this to me.
1157
00:53:16,985 --> 00:53:20,238
Homer...
1158
00:53:20,322 --> 00:53:24,075
in every marriage you
get one chance to say
1159
00:53:24,159 --> 00:53:27,412
I need you to do this with me.
1160
00:53:28,830 --> 00:53:32,584
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
1161
00:53:32,667 --> 00:53:33,960
Homer Simpson!
1162
00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:35,712
We're saving Springfield!
1163
00:53:35,795 --> 00:53:37,130
Listen to me, all of you.
1164
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,841
We are staying.
We have a great life here in Alaska,
1165
00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:43,303
and we're never going
back to America again.
1166
00:53:43,386 --> 00:53:45,805
I have spoken! Hmm!
1167
00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:48,892
(wind whistling)
1168
00:53:53,104 --> 00:53:55,065
(tires screeching)
1169
00:53:57,734 --> 00:54:00,654
(video game music playing)
1170
00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:03,782
(HOMER chuckling)
1171
00:54:03,865 --> 00:54:09,537
Well, I guess I've let her
worry about me long enough.
1172
00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:13,208
-(whistling)
-(truck horn blows)
1173
00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:25,011
Marge? Kids?
1174
00:54:26,429 --> 00:54:27,722
Huh?
1175
00:54:35,105 --> 00:54:36,690
(static hissing)
1176
00:54:38,191 --> 00:54:40,151
Okay, here goes.
1177
00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:41,736
Homer...
1178
00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:44,281
I've always stood up for you.
1179
00:54:44,364 --> 00:54:49,619
When people point out
your flaws, I always say,
1180
00:54:49,703 --> 00:54:52,289
"Well, sometimes
you have to stand back
1181
00:54:52,372 --> 00:54:54,541
"to appreciate a work of art."
1182
00:54:54,624 --> 00:54:55,542
(laughing)
1183
00:54:55,625 --> 00:54:57,377
Way back.
1184
00:54:57,460 --> 00:55:00,297
Lately, what's
keeping us together
1185
00:55:00,380 --> 00:55:04,843
is my ability to overlook
everything you do.
1186
00:55:04,926 --> 00:55:09,222
And I overlook these things
because...
1187
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:10,807
Because?
1188
00:55:10,890 --> 00:55:13,893
Well, that's the thing.
1189
00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:18,940
I just don't know how to finish
that sentence anymore.
1190
00:55:19,024 --> 00:55:21,985
So I'm leaving with the kids
to help Springfield,
1191
00:55:22,068 --> 00:55:25,864
and we're never coming back.
1192
00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:32,287
And to prove to myself
that this is the end...
1193
00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:37,292
I taped this
over our wedding video.
1194
00:55:39,294 --> 00:55:41,296
Good-bye, Homie.
1195
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:44,299
(static hisses)
1196
00:55:45,884 --> 00:55:51,765
♪ Why do birds suddenly appear ♪
1197
00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:54,768
♪ Every time you are near ♪
1198
00:55:54,851 --> 00:55:57,270
I love you.
1199
00:55:57,354 --> 00:56:00,357
♪ Just like me ♪
1200
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:03,276
-♪ They long to be ♪
-Marge?! Kids?!
1201
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:06,571
♪ Close to you ♪
1202
00:56:06,654 --> 00:56:07,947
(cracking)
1203
00:56:08,031 --> 00:56:13,370
♪ Why do starsfall down from the sky ♪
1204
00:56:13,453 --> 00:56:18,917
♪ Every time you walk by ♪
1205
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,669
♪ Just like me... ♪
1206
00:56:27,926 --> 00:56:31,554
(footsteps approaching)
1207
00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:34,057
(roaring)
1208
00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:38,228
(shouting gibberish)
1209
00:56:38,311 --> 00:56:40,021
(grunting)
1210
00:56:43,316 --> 00:56:44,734
(yelps)
1211
00:56:46,694 --> 00:56:49,781
Huh?
1212
00:56:49,864 --> 00:56:53,451
(train whistle blows)
1213
00:56:53,535 --> 00:56:55,495
(sniffling)
1214
00:56:55,578 --> 00:56:56,913
So, Mom,
what's our plan?
1215
00:56:56,996 --> 00:56:58,623
What are you doing up there?
1216
00:56:58,706 --> 00:57:00,041
Looking through
people's luggage.
1217
00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:02,585
(high-pitched):
I'm the mascot of an evil corporation.
1218
00:57:02,669 --> 00:57:03,670
(laughs)
1219
00:57:03,753 --> 00:57:05,296
Get down from there.
1220
00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:07,382
We have to keep
a low profile
1221
00:57:07,465 --> 00:57:09,342
till we get to Seattle
to tell the world
1222
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,594
of the plot to
destroy Springfield.
1223
00:57:11,678 --> 00:57:14,180
I don't know if you guys
should be talking so loud.
1224
00:57:14,264 --> 00:57:18,601
Oh, Lisa, it's not like the government
is listening to everybody's conversation.
1225
00:57:18,685 --> 00:57:20,228
(mechanical whirring)
1226
00:57:20,311 --> 00:57:23,690
(beeping)
1227
00:57:23,773 --> 00:57:26,985
(conversations overlapping)
1228
00:57:27,068 --> 00:57:29,112
WOMAN: Hi, I'm calling about
your Meat Lover's Pizza.
1229
00:57:29,195 --> 00:57:32,490
I like meat, but I don't know
if I'm ready to love again.
1230
00:57:32,574 --> 00:57:33,950
WOMAN 2:
You hang up first.
1231
00:57:34,033 --> 00:57:35,535
MAN:
No, you hang up first.
1232
00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:36,619
WOMAN 2:
Okay.
1233
00:57:36,703 --> 00:57:38,079
(dial tone hums)
1234
00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:39,497
MAN:
She hung up on me!
1235
00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:41,708
LISA:
But we're fugitives.
1236
00:57:41,791 --> 00:57:44,502
We should just lay low
till we get to Seattle.
1237
00:57:44,586 --> 00:57:46,337
Hey, everybody! I found one!
1238
00:57:46,421 --> 00:57:50,550
The government actually
found someone we're looking for!
1239
00:57:50,633 --> 00:57:52,760
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
1240
00:57:53,803 --> 00:57:55,763
WOMAN:
Homer Simpson...
1241
00:57:57,557 --> 00:57:59,476
...do you know why you are here?
1242
00:57:59,559 --> 00:58:01,936
'Cause my family cares
more about other people
1243
00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:03,605
than they do about me.
1244
00:58:03,688 --> 00:58:05,732
Drink this liquid.
1245
00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:08,026
(screaming)
1246
00:58:08,109 --> 00:58:09,360
More, please.
1247
00:58:10,778 --> 00:58:12,697
Now we will cleanse your spirit
1248
00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:16,409
by the ancient Inuit art
of throat singing.
1249
00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:17,869
Throat singing?
1250
00:58:17,952 --> 00:58:21,956
(guttural chanting)
1251
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:28,505
(both chanting)
1252
00:58:28,588 --> 00:58:31,424
How long are we
doing this?
1253
00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:33,593
Until you have an epiphany.
1254
00:58:33,676 --> 00:58:34,928
Okay.
1255
00:58:35,011 --> 00:58:37,263
(chanting)
1256
00:58:37,347 --> 00:58:39,474
What's an epiphany?
1257
00:58:39,557 --> 00:58:42,268
Sudden realization
of great truth.
1258
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:43,853
Okay.
1259
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:47,190
(chanting)
1260
00:58:54,822 --> 00:58:56,491
Aw...
1261
00:58:56,574 --> 00:58:57,825
(music plays)
1262
00:58:57,909 --> 00:59:01,412
FEMALE CHORUS:
♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig ♪
1263
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:05,124
♪ Does whatevera Spider Pig does ♪
1264
00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:07,877
-(rumbling)
-♪ Look out ♪
1265
00:59:07,961 --> 00:59:12,590
♪ He is a Spider Pig. ♪
1266
00:59:12,674 --> 00:59:15,176
Unless you have an epiphany,
1267
00:59:15,260 --> 00:59:19,138
you will spend the remainder
of your days alone.
1268
00:59:19,222 --> 00:59:20,807
(bell tolls)
1269
00:59:20,890 --> 00:59:22,475
Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany.
1270
00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:26,980
Ooh! Bananas are an excellent
source of potassium.
1271
00:59:27,063 --> 00:59:28,147
(grunts)
1272
00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:30,692
Americans will
never embrace soccer?
1273
00:59:33,111 --> 00:59:35,405
More than two shakes
and it's playing with yourself?
1274
00:59:38,199 --> 00:59:40,410
Hey, what are you doing?
1275
00:59:44,372 --> 00:59:46,583
Oh, do whatever
you want to me.
1276
00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:49,210
I don't care about
myself anymore.
1277
00:59:51,629 --> 00:59:53,172
WOMAN:
Because?
1278
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:54,507
(gasps)
1279
00:59:54,591 --> 00:59:58,136
Because other people
are just as important as me.
1280
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:02,390
Without them, I'm nothing.
1281
01:00:04,934 --> 01:00:08,438
In order to save myself...
1282
01:00:08,521 --> 01:00:11,065
I have to save Springfield!
1283
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:13,568
That's it... isn't it?
1284
01:00:13,651 --> 01:00:18,072
(The Simpsons theme playing,applause and cheering)
1285
01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:21,159
(cheering continues)
1286
01:00:23,328 --> 01:00:25,246
(chanting)
1287
01:00:26,914 --> 01:00:29,876
That was the most incredible
experience of my life.
1288
01:00:29,959 --> 01:00:32,503
And now to find my family,
save my town
1289
01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:35,381
and drop ten pounds.
1290
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:37,467
Thank you, boob lady.
1291
01:00:45,016 --> 01:00:47,727
This is it, kids.
Seattle.
1292
01:00:47,810 --> 01:00:49,771
(gasping):
Russ Cargill.
1293
01:00:49,854 --> 01:00:51,481
Do you think he saw us?
1294
01:00:55,109 --> 01:00:56,736
Yes, I did.
1295
01:00:56,819 --> 01:00:58,780
(dogs barking)
1296
01:01:01,157 --> 01:01:05,703
Run! Run! Run! Run!
1297
01:01:05,787 --> 01:01:07,955
Run! Run!
1298
01:01:08,039 --> 01:01:10,541
Jump! Jump!
1299
01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:12,919
Land! Land!
1300
01:01:13,002 --> 01:01:15,296
Rest! Rest!
1301
01:01:15,380 --> 01:01:17,423
Run! Run!
1302
01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:22,136
Now, I know we've had
a rough day,
1303
01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:23,596
but I'm sure we can
1304
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,598
put all that behind us
and just...
1305
01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:27,975
(growling, screaming)
1306
01:01:28,059 --> 01:01:30,103
Ow! Ow!
That's my whipping arm!
1307
01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,188
(barking)
1308
01:01:32,271 --> 01:01:35,942
Oh, why does everything
I whip leave me?
1309
01:01:37,443 --> 01:01:39,946
-(wind whistling)
-Must keep going...
1310
01:01:40,029 --> 01:01:41,948
Must keep going.
1311
01:01:42,031 --> 01:01:43,866
(whimpering):
No, I can't.
1312
01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:46,244
I can't keep going.
1313
01:01:46,327 --> 01:01:48,162
Yes, you can.
1314
01:01:48,246 --> 01:01:50,123
No, I can't.
1315
01:01:50,206 --> 01:01:52,166
Oh, shut up.
1316
01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:54,377
You shut up.
1317
01:01:54,460 --> 01:01:56,462
No, you. No, you.
1318
01:01:56,546 --> 01:01:57,630
No, you.
1319
01:01:57,714 --> 01:01:59,173
Oh, real mature.
1320
01:01:59,257 --> 01:02:01,175
How can you say that?
1321
01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:04,220
Oh, what's the point?
1322
01:02:04,303 --> 01:02:06,139
It's hopeless.
1323
01:02:14,188 --> 01:02:15,857
Don't give up, Homer.
1324
01:02:15,940 --> 01:02:18,317
You are closer
than you think.
1325
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:20,153
But which way do I go?
1326
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,534
Much obliged.
1327
01:02:31,706 --> 01:02:35,918
(helicopter blades whirring)
1328
01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:37,920
(men shouting in distance)
1329
01:02:41,716 --> 01:02:43,885
Ten-hut!
1330
01:02:45,803 --> 01:02:48,097
(saxophone playing)
1331
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:50,975
Lisa, knock off that racket!
1332
01:02:51,058 --> 01:02:52,435
(gasps):
Lisa!
1333
01:02:52,518 --> 01:02:54,520
(playing bluesy tune)
1334
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:55,980
They captured my family.
1335
01:02:56,063 --> 01:02:57,940
What do I do? What do I do?
1336
01:03:00,067 --> 01:03:01,694
(tires screeching)
1337
01:03:03,279 --> 01:03:06,532
There's something strange
about that SOP sign.
1338
01:03:07,742 --> 01:03:10,077
(engine roaring)
1339
01:03:22,673 --> 01:03:24,717
(softly clinks)
1340
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:26,260
(gasps):
Did you hear something?
1341
01:03:26,344 --> 01:03:27,678
Probably just a moth.
1342
01:03:27,762 --> 01:03:29,305
I hope it's okay.
1343
01:03:35,728 --> 01:03:36,646
(screaming):
Oh!
1344
01:03:36,729 --> 01:03:38,022
(grunts)
1345
01:03:38,105 --> 01:03:39,774
Oh!
1346
01:03:39,857 --> 01:03:41,067
D'oh!
1347
01:03:41,150 --> 01:03:44,111
(grunting)
1348
01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:49,283
(groans)
1349
01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:51,077
(grunts)
1350
01:03:53,454 --> 01:03:54,539
Look, look,
look, look, look.
1351
01:03:54,622 --> 01:03:56,415
We can't keep stopping
at every SOP, YELD,
1352
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,459
or ONE VAY sign--
just move on.
1353
01:04:03,089 --> 01:04:04,423
(grunting)
1354
01:04:04,507 --> 01:04:05,591
Let us out!
1355
01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:07,426
-Let us out!
-Stop that!
1356
01:04:07,510 --> 01:04:08,636
You'll scratch your shackles.
1357
01:04:08,719 --> 01:04:09,762
I hope I do!
1358
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:11,514
(grunting)
1359
01:04:11,597 --> 01:04:13,933
(hissing)
1360
01:04:17,103 --> 01:04:20,273
Oh, way to go, Bart.
1361
01:04:20,356 --> 01:04:21,941
You stink.
1362
01:04:22,024 --> 01:04:24,569
No... you stink.
1363
01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:26,946
(moaning)
1364
01:04:27,029 --> 01:04:28,197
(grunts)
1365
01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:29,657
Ow.
(groans)
1366
01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:38,624
(bird caws)
1367
01:04:38,708 --> 01:04:40,293
(dog howls in distance)
1368
01:04:40,376 --> 01:04:42,962
(MARGE gasps):
Springfield.
1369
01:04:43,045 --> 01:04:45,673
I can't believe it, but
it got even crappier.
1370
01:04:50,052 --> 01:04:51,512
Oh, man.
1371
01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:52,889
(muttering)
1372
01:04:55,224 --> 01:04:56,809
(clanking)
1373
01:05:00,938 --> 01:05:02,315
Oh, hiya, Midge.
1374
01:05:02,398 --> 01:05:04,650
Moe, what happened?
1375
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:06,861
With the town sealed off
from the rest of the world,
1376
01:05:06,944 --> 01:05:09,280
things got a little nutty here.
1377
01:05:09,363 --> 01:05:10,823
Why are you dressed like that?
1378
01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:12,241
Well, I don't
like to brag,
1379
01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:15,202
but I am now
the emperor of Springfield.
1380
01:05:15,286 --> 01:05:16,621
BARNEY:
No, you're not!
1381
01:05:16,704 --> 01:05:18,372
Yes, I am!
1382
01:05:18,456 --> 01:05:20,041
(explosion)
1383
01:05:20,124 --> 01:05:22,919
BARNEY: Okay...
hail emperor.
1384
01:05:23,002 --> 01:05:25,588
CARGILL (over screen):
Attention, Springfield.
1385
01:05:26,631 --> 01:05:28,549
Your government has realized
1386
01:05:28,633 --> 01:05:31,260
that putting you inside this
dome was a terrible mistake.
1387
01:05:31,344 --> 01:05:34,805
Therefore, we're commencing
with Operation Soaring Eagle...
1388
01:05:34,889 --> 01:05:36,349
(cheering)
1389
01:05:36,432 --> 01:05:38,059
...which involves
killing you all.
1390
01:05:38,142 --> 01:05:39,352
(groaning)
1391
01:05:44,482 --> 01:05:46,108
(whirring)
1392
01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:47,318
As I speak, we're lowering
1393
01:05:47,401 --> 01:05:50,237
a small but powerful bomb
into your midst.
1394
01:05:50,321 --> 01:05:52,698
(beeping)
1395
01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:54,742
(screaming)
1396
01:05:58,996 --> 01:06:02,708
Despite everything,
I miss your father.
1397
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:04,543
Me, too.
1398
01:06:04,627 --> 01:06:07,296
His big fat ass
could shield us all.
1399
01:06:12,176 --> 01:06:13,636
Ten-hut!
1400
01:06:14,804 --> 01:06:16,055
At ease.
1401
01:06:16,138 --> 01:06:18,724
I'm General...
Marriott Suites,
1402
01:06:18,808 --> 01:06:21,310
and I have an urgent
note from the president.
1403
01:06:21,394 --> 01:06:23,896
It says to release
this town immediately.
1404
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:25,648
Why is it written on a leaf?
1405
01:06:27,733 --> 01:06:28,943
(grunts)
1406
01:06:29,026 --> 01:06:30,778
(chuckles)
1407
01:06:37,159 --> 01:06:38,786
(hands squeaking)
1408
01:06:38,869 --> 01:06:40,037
(grunts)
1409
01:06:44,458 --> 01:06:45,418
(gasps)
1410
01:06:46,877 --> 01:06:48,462
Perfect.
1411
01:06:51,173 --> 01:06:55,261
Now Homer Simpson's going
to show he has cojones!
1412
01:06:55,344 --> 01:06:56,429
Oops.
1413
01:06:56,512 --> 01:06:58,556
(grunting)
1414
01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:00,307
(yells)
1415
01:07:00,391 --> 01:07:04,186
(grunting, crying gasps)
1416
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:05,354
(grunts)
1417
01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:07,356
(gasping):
D'oh!
1418
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,859
(whimpering):
D'oh!
1419
01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:13,612
HOMER (in distance):
D'oh! D'oh!
1420
01:07:13,696 --> 01:07:15,614
Mom, I've got to go find Colin.
1421
01:07:15,698 --> 01:07:16,949
Not now, sweetie.
1422
01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:18,951
Doomsday is
family time.
1423
01:07:19,035 --> 01:07:20,995
(glass squeaking)
HOMER: Oh! Oh!
1424
01:07:21,078 --> 01:07:24,498
(beeping,
harmonica playing blues)
1425
01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:27,501
Hey, if one of us
distracts Cargill,
1426
01:07:27,585 --> 01:07:30,004
then the rest of us can
climb up that thing.
1427
01:07:30,087 --> 01:07:32,798
Who'd be dumb enough to stay behind
while we escape with our lives?
1428
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,258
(clears throat)
1429
01:07:34,341 --> 01:07:36,802
My time to shine.
1430
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:37,970
Hey!
1431
01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:40,556
Mr. Big TV Man,
look-a here.
1432
01:07:40,639 --> 01:07:42,058
What do you want?
1433
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:43,476
Um...
1434
01:07:43,559 --> 01:07:47,188
look what I can do
with my thumb.
1435
01:07:47,271 --> 01:07:49,565
You want to know
how I do it?
1436
01:07:49,648 --> 01:07:51,275
Four generations
of inbreeding?
1437
01:07:51,358 --> 01:07:52,610
Oh...
1438
01:07:52,693 --> 01:07:55,362
(grunting)
1439
01:07:55,446 --> 01:07:57,948
(helicopter blades whirring)
1440
01:07:58,032 --> 01:07:59,366
(grunting)
1441
01:08:02,411 --> 01:08:05,039
(shoes squeaking)
1442
01:08:07,583 --> 01:08:08,876
I can smell fresh air.
1443
01:08:08,959 --> 01:08:10,211
(birds chirping)
1444
01:08:10,294 --> 01:08:12,046
I can hear birds.
1445
01:08:12,129 --> 01:08:15,007
I taste freedom!
1446
01:08:15,091 --> 01:08:16,717
Excuse me! Watch out!
Coming through!
1447
01:08:16,801 --> 01:08:19,261
(yelling)
1448
01:08:20,304 --> 01:08:21,847
(loud thud)
1449
01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:23,390
(beeping)
1450
01:08:23,474 --> 01:08:25,017
(groans quietly)
1451
01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:26,685
I was tricked by an idiot!
1452
01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:28,354
CLETUS:
Hey, I know how you feel.
1453
01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:32,149
I was beat in tic-tac-toe
by a chicken.
1454
01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:33,901
Good-bye.
1455
01:08:34,902 --> 01:08:36,487
(stammers)
1456
01:08:36,570 --> 01:08:38,322
Homer do good?
1457
01:08:38,405 --> 01:08:41,659
Actually, you doomed
us all. Again.
1458
01:08:41,742 --> 01:08:43,619
Nice knowing you, Homer.
1459
01:08:43,702 --> 01:08:45,996
But I... Oh.
1460
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:47,873
(crying):
Oh...
1461
01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:50,960
I can't do anything right.
(grunts)
1462
01:08:52,044 --> 01:08:53,212
(rapid beeps)
1463
01:08:53,295 --> 01:08:56,132
-(steady beeping resumes)
-Get out of here!
1464
01:08:56,215 --> 01:08:59,301
(people jeering,
HOMER whimpering)
1465
01:09:02,638 --> 01:09:04,557
I've spent my entire life
1466
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:06,892
doing nothing
but collecting comic books,
1467
01:09:06,976 --> 01:09:09,854
and now there's only time
to say...
1468
01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:12,314
life well spent!
1469
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:18,904
Okay, boys,
1470
01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:22,283
when you meet Jesus,
be sure to call him Mr. Christ.
1471
01:09:22,366 --> 01:09:23,909
Will Buddha be
there, too?
1472
01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:25,286
-No!
-(door creaks)
1473
01:09:25,369 --> 01:09:26,370
Hey, Flanders.
1474
01:09:26,453 --> 01:09:27,413
Bart!
1475
01:09:27,496 --> 01:09:29,248
How good to see ya.
1476
01:09:29,331 --> 01:09:31,709
And how terrible you're here.
1477
01:09:31,792 --> 01:09:33,210
Thanks.
1478
01:09:33,294 --> 01:09:35,212
L-Listen...
1479
01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:40,467
I was just wondering if...
before I died,
1480
01:09:40,551 --> 01:09:44,388
I could pretend
I had a father who...
1481
01:09:44,471 --> 01:09:46,348
cared for me.
1482
01:09:47,433 --> 01:09:49,101
Come here, son.
1483
01:09:49,185 --> 01:09:52,271
There's always room for one
more in the Flanders clan.
1484
01:09:53,355 --> 01:09:55,608
(quiet hissing)
1485
01:09:55,691 --> 01:09:57,109
(beep)
1486
01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:59,570
Come on,
bomb-disarming robot.
1487
01:09:59,653 --> 01:10:00,779
You're our last hope.
1488
01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:03,699
Red wire. Blue wire.
1489
01:10:03,782 --> 01:10:05,492
Black is usually the ground.
1490
01:10:05,576 --> 01:10:08,412
-(groans): Uh, so much pressure.
-(metal rattling)
1491
01:10:08,495 --> 01:10:10,164
Pressure!
1492
01:10:11,290 --> 01:10:12,583
(gunshot)
1493
01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:18,047
He'd been talking about it, but
I-I didn't take him seriously.
1494
01:10:21,634 --> 01:10:23,636
♪ ♪
1495
01:10:23,719 --> 01:10:25,221
Marge!
1496
01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:27,056
Marge! Marge!
1497
01:10:27,139 --> 01:10:28,599
(smack, thud)
1498
01:10:28,682 --> 01:10:30,434
Oh, no, the epipha-tree!
1499
01:10:30,517 --> 01:10:33,896
Hey, I tried my best.
What am I supposed to do?
1500
01:10:33,979 --> 01:10:35,689
(wind rushes)
1501
01:10:35,773 --> 01:10:38,317
But how am I supposed
to get up there?
1502
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,069
(heavenly music plays)
1503
01:10:40,152 --> 01:10:42,154
Oh...
1504
01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:47,159
Here, buy yourself
something nice.
1505
01:10:51,538 --> 01:10:54,333
Homer? What the hell
are you doing now?
1506
01:10:54,416 --> 01:10:56,377
HOMER: Risking my life
to save people I hate
1507
01:10:56,460 --> 01:10:58,003
for reasons
I don't quite understand.
1508
01:10:58,087 --> 01:10:59,255
Got to go.
1509
01:11:00,589 --> 01:11:02,716
First, one stop.
1510
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:04,176
(beep)
1511
01:11:04,260 --> 01:11:05,678
(tires squealing)
1512
01:11:09,431 --> 01:11:11,850
Bart? Son?
1513
01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:13,978
Do you think
you could find it in your heart
1514
01:11:14,061 --> 01:11:17,356
to give your foolish old man
one more chance?
1515
01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:20,526
(mumbling):
Oh, I don't know...
1516
01:11:20,609 --> 01:11:22,945
It seems to me, son,
that your father's saying
1517
01:11:23,028 --> 01:11:26,740
that he wants to spend
his last minute with you.
1518
01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:31,328
No! I can't do it.
1519
01:11:31,412 --> 01:11:33,455
I want a father who's
the same in the morning
1520
01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:35,708
as he is at
night-- oh...
1521
01:11:35,791 --> 01:11:37,209
What's that word?
1522
01:11:37,293 --> 01:11:38,711
BOTH:
Consistency.
1523
01:11:38,794 --> 01:11:40,254
Thanks, losers.
1524
01:11:40,337 --> 01:11:41,797
Sorry, Homer.
1525
01:11:42,798 --> 01:11:45,592
I'll let you hold the bomb.
1526
01:11:45,676 --> 01:11:48,429
-(beeping)
-The man knows me.
1527
01:11:48,512 --> 01:11:49,805
(laughing)
1528
01:11:51,015 --> 01:11:52,433
Haaa!
1529
01:11:52,516 --> 01:11:54,977
I wish Homer was my father.
1530
01:11:55,060 --> 01:11:57,062
And I wish you didn't have
the devil's curly hair.
1531
01:11:57,146 --> 01:11:58,439
(crying)
1532
01:12:05,612 --> 01:12:10,200
I've been taking
your crap all my life!
1533
01:12:10,284 --> 01:12:12,870
(grunting)
1534
01:12:12,953 --> 01:12:16,874
Whew! This feels good.
No wonder you do it.
1535
01:12:16,957 --> 01:12:18,042
(grunting)
1536
01:12:18,125 --> 01:12:21,462
(engine roaring)
1537
01:12:21,545 --> 01:12:23,255
Okay, Bart, you've
only got one shot
1538
01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:25,090
to throw that bomb
through the hole.
1539
01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:27,593
Dad, in case I miss,
1540
01:12:27,676 --> 01:12:30,429
I'm sorry I said I wish
you weren't my father.
1541
01:12:30,512 --> 01:12:33,265
I don't blame you, Son--
I wasn't much of a father.
1542
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:36,101
Maybe it starts with
the way my dad raised me.
1543
01:12:36,185 --> 01:12:38,395
Yes, it's clear to me.
1544
01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:41,857
It's just been one long,
unbroken cycle of...
1545
01:12:41,940 --> 01:12:43,984
Somebody throw
the goddamn bomb!
1546
01:12:44,068 --> 01:12:47,780
(engine revs)
1547
01:12:49,323 --> 01:12:50,949
(gasps)
1548
01:12:51,033 --> 01:12:53,410
(screaming)
1549
01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:54,953
(continues screaming)
1550
01:12:55,996 --> 01:12:57,331
D'oh!
1551
01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:06,173
(water burbling)
1552
01:13:06,256 --> 01:13:08,300
What? What's going on?
1553
01:13:13,472 --> 01:13:15,891
(wild cheering)
1554
01:13:17,893 --> 01:13:19,686
(thumping)
1555
01:13:22,231 --> 01:13:23,565
(anxious stammering)
1556
01:13:26,735 --> 01:13:28,112
(relieved sighs)
1557
01:13:28,195 --> 01:13:29,696
(loud explosion)
1558
01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:31,865
(high-pitched whoosh)
1559
01:13:31,949 --> 01:13:34,034
We did it, boy!
1560
01:13:34,118 --> 01:13:35,202
Uh, Dad?
1561
01:13:35,285 --> 01:13:37,204
(cracking, Homer yelps)
1562
01:13:37,287 --> 01:13:38,997
(cracking continues)
1563
01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:40,332
(both yelling)
1564
01:13:43,127 --> 01:13:44,837
(yells)
1565
01:13:53,762 --> 01:13:55,264
♪ ♪
1566
01:13:55,347 --> 01:13:57,516
(both screaming)
1567
01:13:57,599 --> 01:14:00,894
(screaming continues)
1568
01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:02,896
(distant screaming)
1569
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:05,399
(screaming loudly)
1570
01:14:05,482 --> 01:14:07,734
(screaming continues)
1571
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,153
(HOMER continues screaming)
1572
01:14:09,236 --> 01:14:10,154
(yelps)
1573
01:14:12,781 --> 01:14:14,032
(grunts)
1574
01:14:17,035 --> 01:14:18,203
-Whoo-hoo!
-Whoo-hoo!
1575
01:14:18,745 --> 01:14:20,581
(explosion, shattering)
1576
01:14:22,249 --> 01:14:24,084
(excited chatter)
1577
01:14:24,168 --> 01:14:25,961
Magnificent!
1578
01:14:26,044 --> 01:14:27,796
It's amazing
no one was hurt!
1579
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:29,339
(loud thud)
1580
01:14:29,423 --> 01:14:31,550
Bye, everybody.
1581
01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:33,302
(dying groan)
1582
01:14:33,385 --> 01:14:35,387
(wind whistling)
1583
01:14:35,471 --> 01:14:38,140
Now, that was a great
father/son activity.
1584
01:14:38,223 --> 01:14:40,767
Hello, Homer.
1585
01:14:40,851 --> 01:14:45,314
So, we meet at last,
whoever you are.
1586
01:14:45,397 --> 01:14:47,232
There's a couple of things
they don't teach you
1587
01:14:47,316 --> 01:14:48,317
at Harvard Business School.
1588
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:51,695
One is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
1589
01:14:51,778 --> 01:14:54,198
I'm going to do both right now.
1590
01:14:54,281 --> 01:14:56,200
Wait! If you kill my dad,
1591
01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:59,036
you'll never know
where the treasure is buried.
1592
01:14:59,119 --> 01:15:00,245
What treasure?
1593
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:03,290
Uh... the treasure
of Ima Wiener.
1594
01:15:03,373 --> 01:15:04,541
I'm a wiener?
1595
01:15:04,625 --> 01:15:06,251
(both laughing)
1596
01:15:06,335 --> 01:15:07,586
Classic.
1597
01:15:07,669 --> 01:15:10,005
Well, always leave 'em laughing.
(chuckles)
1598
01:15:10,088 --> 01:15:11,590
Good-bye, sir.
1599
01:15:15,844 --> 01:15:16,845
(thump)
1600
01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:20,057
Maggie!
1601
01:15:20,140 --> 01:15:23,519
What a great little accident
you turned out to be.
1602
01:15:23,602 --> 01:15:25,646
(sucking)
1603
01:15:26,688 --> 01:15:29,274
Colin? Colin!
1604
01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:32,486
Lisa... Colin's dead.
1605
01:15:32,569 --> 01:15:33,904
(gasps)
1606
01:15:33,987 --> 01:15:36,031
But his last words were,
1607
01:15:36,114 --> 01:15:39,076
(Irish accent):
"Milhouse, take care of Lisa.
1608
01:15:39,159 --> 01:15:41,161
"Hold her hand."
1609
01:15:43,539 --> 01:15:46,667
Uh... I got her
all warmed up for ya.
1610
01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:48,627
Colin!
1611
01:15:48,710 --> 01:15:49,795
Whoo! Hi.
1612
01:15:49,878 --> 01:15:52,172
-Hey, you want to go...
-Clean up the lake!
1613
01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:55,050
Well, I was gonna say
"get some ice cream," but okay.
1614
01:15:55,133 --> 01:15:57,844
(laughs):
Oh! I-I like ice cream.
1615
01:16:03,684 --> 01:16:05,686
Kind of sweaty. Sorry.
1616
01:16:13,902 --> 01:16:16,530
(loud cheering)
1617
01:16:20,534 --> 01:16:23,662
(gasps): Boy,
you survived! How?
1618
01:16:23,745 --> 01:16:25,747
I did things no dog should do.
1619
01:16:25,831 --> 01:16:27,874
They will haunt me forever.
1620
01:16:27,958 --> 01:16:29,501
I love you, too.
1621
01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:32,588
(cheering, whistling)
1622
01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:42,598
♪ ♪
1623
01:16:44,975 --> 01:16:47,978
Best kiss of my life.
1624
01:16:48,061 --> 01:16:51,023
Best kiss of your
life so far.
1625
01:16:51,106 --> 01:16:53,442
♪ ♪
1626
01:17:02,075 --> 01:17:04,119
(electric saw whirring)
1627
01:17:08,790 --> 01:17:10,751
HOMER:
Steady...
1628
01:17:10,834 --> 01:17:13,003
Steady...
1629
01:17:15,130 --> 01:17:16,673
Steady...
1630
01:17:16,757 --> 01:17:18,592
Uh, Dad?
1631
01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,553
Thanks, boy.
1632
01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:23,347
Steady...
1633
01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:24,389
(grunts)
1634
01:17:24,473 --> 01:17:27,059
Whoo-hoo!
1635
01:17:27,142 --> 01:17:29,895
-Waah...!
-(BART laughing)
1636
01:17:32,856 --> 01:17:34,066
(loud thud)
1637
01:17:34,149 --> 01:17:36,943
(rock version of
The Simpsons theme playing)
1638
01:17:44,117 --> 01:17:46,912
♪ ♪
1639
01:17:57,756 --> 01:18:01,510
♪ ♪
1640
01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:13,689
SMITHERS:
They've taken everything, sir.
1641
01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:20,570
Smithers, I don't believe
in suicide, but...
1642
01:18:20,654 --> 01:18:23,824
if you'd like to try it,
it might cheer me up to watch.
1643
01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:34,668
♪ ♪
1644
01:18:37,003 --> 01:18:43,176
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
1645
01:18:43,260 --> 01:18:46,054
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
1646
01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:48,890
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
1647
01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:54,020
(to The Simpsons theme):
♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da ♪
1648
01:18:54,104 --> 01:18:55,647
♪ Da, da-da-da-da ♪
1649
01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:56,940
♪ Da-da-da-da-da ♪
1650
01:18:57,023 --> 01:18:58,608
(song ends)
1651
01:18:58,692 --> 01:19:00,861
This is Tom Hanks saying,
if you see me in person,
1652
01:19:00,944 --> 01:19:02,612
please, leave me be.
1653
01:19:02,696 --> 01:19:07,075
-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do... ♪-♪ Spi... der... Pig... ♪
1654
01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:11,455
-♪ Ah, ah... ♪-♪ Spi... der... Pig ♪
1655
01:19:11,538 --> 01:19:15,959
♪ Spider Pig ♪
1656
01:19:16,042 --> 01:19:19,921
♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig ♪
1657
01:19:20,005 --> 01:19:24,301
♪ Does whatevera Spider Pig does ♪
1658
01:19:24,384 --> 01:19:28,096
♪ Can he swing from a web? ♪
1659
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:30,390
-♪ Oh, no ♪-♪ No, he can't ♪
1660
01:19:30,474 --> 01:19:31,975
♪ He's a pig ♪
1661
01:19:32,058 --> 01:19:33,351
♪ Look out! ♪
1662
01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:37,189
♪ He is a Spider Pig ♪
1663
01:19:37,272 --> 01:19:40,442
-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do... ♪-♪ Spi... der... Pig ♪
1664
01:19:40,525 --> 01:19:41,735
♪ Look out! ♪
1665
01:19:41,818 --> 01:19:46,198
♪ He is a Spider Pig ♪
1666
01:19:46,281 --> 01:19:49,993
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do... ♪(song fades out)
1667
01:19:50,076 --> 01:19:52,078
♪ ♪
1668
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:03,882
♪ ♪
1669
01:20:14,726 --> 01:20:16,686
Come on, Dad,
let's go.
1670
01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:19,231
I've been holding it since they
put the dome over the town.
1671
01:20:19,314 --> 01:20:22,192
You can wait. A lot of people
worked really hard on this film,
1672
01:20:22,275 --> 01:20:26,530
and all they ask is for you
to memorize their names.
1673
01:20:26,613 --> 01:20:29,491
Well, I want to make sure
no animals were harmed
1674
01:20:29,574 --> 01:20:31,827
during the filming of this movie.
1675
01:20:34,663 --> 01:20:36,873
-LISA: Phew!
-HOMER: Okay.
1676
01:20:36,957 --> 01:20:39,626
-(crunch)
-Ooh, floor popcorn!
1677
01:20:39,709 --> 01:20:42,170
(chomping, crunching)
1678
01:20:42,254 --> 01:20:45,340
Wait, wait, wait-- it looks like
Maggie has something to say.
1679
01:20:45,423 --> 01:20:47,759
Oh, my God,
her first word!
1680
01:20:49,219 --> 01:20:51,179
Sequel?
1681
01:21:01,189 --> 01:21:03,191
♪ ♪
1682
01:21:12,909 --> 01:21:14,911
♪ ♪
1683
01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:27,299
♪ ♪
1684
01:21:37,601 --> 01:21:39,603
♪ ♪
1685
01:21:49,362 --> 01:21:51,364
♪ ♪
1686
01:22:01,041 --> 01:22:03,084
♪ ♪
1687
01:22:13,178 --> 01:22:15,180
♪ ♪
1688
01:22:25,315 --> 01:22:27,317
♪ ♪
1689
01:22:37,118 --> 01:22:39,120
♪ ♪
1690
01:22:49,381 --> 01:22:51,466
♪ ♪
1691
01:23:01,059 --> 01:23:03,144
♪ ♪
1692
01:23:13,279 --> 01:23:15,281
♪ ♪
1693
01:23:25,250 --> 01:23:27,168
♪ ♪
1694
01:23:37,262 --> 01:23:39,264
♪ ♪
1695
01:23:49,232 --> 01:23:51,192
♪ ♪
1696
01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:03,163
♪ ♪
1697
01:24:13,256 --> 01:24:15,216
♪ ♪
1698
01:24:25,268 --> 01:24:27,228
♪ ♪
1699
01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:33,318
MAN (to "La Marseillaise"):
♪ Springfield doesn't have an anthem ♪
1700
01:24:33,401 --> 01:24:37,489
(others join in): ♪ We thoughtwe had one, but we don't ♪
1701
01:24:37,572 --> 01:24:41,451
(more join in): ♪ We paida short guy to write it ♪
1702
01:24:41,534 --> 01:24:45,455
♪ But we never saw him again ♪
1703
01:24:45,538 --> 01:24:49,542
♪ The tune we stole from the French ♪
1704
01:24:49,626 --> 01:24:53,213
♪ There's a few thingsthey do well ♪
1705
01:24:53,296 --> 01:24:57,550
♪ Like making love,wine, and cheese ♪
1706
01:24:57,634 --> 01:25:01,554
♪ Like Roqueforts, Camemberts, and Bries ♪
1707
01:25:01,638 --> 01:25:03,264
♪ Springfield ♪
1708
01:25:03,348 --> 01:25:05,517
♪ We're going to die ♪
1709
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,227
♪ Springfield ♪
1710
01:25:07,310 --> 01:25:09,354
♪ I'm scared to die ♪
1711
01:25:09,437 --> 01:25:11,439
♪ ♪
1712
01:25:20,949 --> 01:25:23,076
♪ ♪
1713
01:25:33,086 --> 01:25:35,088
♪ ♪
1714
01:25:45,306 --> 01:25:47,308
♪ ♪
1715
01:25:57,318 --> 01:25:59,279
♪ ♪
1716
01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:11,291
♪ ♪
1717
01:26:21,176 --> 01:26:24,387
Assistant manager
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
1718
01:26:24,470 --> 01:26:26,472
♪ ♪
1719
01:26:31,144 --> 01:26:33,980
Four years of film school for this?
1720
01:26:40,028 --> 01:26:41,112
(indistinct whispering)
1721
01:26:41,196 --> 01:26:42,280
Shh.
114744
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