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Narrator: Coming up, the guys
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make murr pucker up.
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Here he goes, here he goes.
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What are you doing?
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Narrator: Sal gets caught
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cheating.
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I'll tell you, you're full of
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[bleep] Right now.
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Don't even try.
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You know what you did.
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Narrator: And Joe chases his
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own tail.
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You don't move.
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He's so out of breath right
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now.
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Narrator: Plus, tonight's big
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loser humiliates himself in
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front of 7,000 people.
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[ Laughter ]
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We're here at fairway
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supermarket, and we're eating
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out of other people's carts.
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That's what we're doing.
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We got to grab their food,
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shove it in our mouths, and eat
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it right in front of them.
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The goal is to eat as much
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produce as you can.
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Whoever eats the least amount
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will lose.
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And chocolate's a vegetable.
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[ Laughter ]
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So I'm gonna win.
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That's not a statement of
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fact at all.
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I'm nervous.
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These are so...
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Those are so good.
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What are those called?
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Clementines.
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[ Buzzer ]
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[ Laughter ]
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Oh, my god.
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Grape... grape tomatoes.
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Those are so good.
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They're so good for cooking and
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stuff.
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[ Buzzer ]
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[ Laughter ]
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Nobody wants to talk to you.
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He purposely went around you.
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If this happened to me, I
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would think the person's a
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psychopath.
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Just do what comes
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naturally... swipe food in front
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of you.
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I'm surprised you haven't been
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in that trough behind you.
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You're talking to me like
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you're not fat.
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Joe, how does this fruit smell
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from over there?
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Ha ha! Nose joke. Nice.
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Go.
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Let me stop you right there,
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'cause grapes are my jam.
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[ Laughter ]
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Grapes are my jam!
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[ Laughter ]
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No pun intended.
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But they're my jam!
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[ Laughter ]
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Blueberries are my jam, too!
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[ Ding! ]
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All right, murr's up.
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I would totally get those if
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I were you.
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Yeah, I bought it like two weeks
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ago.
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They're so good, so fresh.
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And it's almost as good as these
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that you have, the cantaloupe.
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The good thing about these, if
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you try them, they're really,
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really good, really fresh.
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That's one!
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Like, so, so good.
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You can't get this in other
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stores.
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The only thing not as good as
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other places is this one that
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you got... the mango slices.
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[ Laughter ]
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In this store, these aren't
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nearly as good.
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Look... they're not as good as
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the other ones.
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I do have to tell you...
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That these that you're
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getting...
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Oh, my god!
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The great thing about the
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pomegranate seeds here is
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they're super-super-fresh.
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[ Laughter ]
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They're really good.
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You guys from the neighborhood
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or no?
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[ Ding! ]
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You look like a war vet...
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[ Laughter ]
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that's come home and all you
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have is just enough for fruit.
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[ Laughter ]
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"The things I seen.
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You don't understand.
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It was dirty over there!"
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[ Laughter ]
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Ah. Ah.
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There, on your left.
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What's, she strawberrying?
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Uh...
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[ Buzzer ]
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Too slow, buddy.
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[ Laughter ]
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There you go, q... get that
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lady.
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He's in, he's in
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I'm gonna eat that tomato.
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Come on, come on, come on.
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Come on!
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Okay.
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[ Laughter ]
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It's tough to do.
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This is your man.
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Here he goes.
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That guy looks like he'd
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kick your ass, man.
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He does, he does.
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Q, that guy just he left his
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cart.
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Boom!
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I'm eating your grapes, bro!
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[ Ding! ]
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[ Laughter ]
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Boom!
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These grapes are delicious.
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[ Laughter ]
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Those are some delicious grapes,
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my man.
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Oh, so much.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Ding! ]
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The apple Greens?
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Yeah.
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Oh, here we go, here we go.
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Here we go, here it is.
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$3.99 for the pack?
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Yeah.
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Oh, then they're individually
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wrapped.
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[ Laughter ]
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No one said it was gonna be
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easy, buddy.
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So it's a lot of work,
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really, if you want to get down
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to the apple.
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[ Ding! ]
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Well, what is allowed?
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[ Chuckles ]
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Shove them all in your mouth.
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Get them in there!
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Okay, thank you.
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Dying.
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[ Ding! ]
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[ Laughter ]
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What the [bleep]
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[ Ding! ]
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Here's a tip... don't
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announce to people when you're
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stealing.
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Might make it easier.
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What the [bleep]
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Boom!
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[ Laughter ]
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I'm afraid to steal because
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you can get arrested.
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Right.
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If you get arrested, who would
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you call, out of us?
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If you had one phone call?
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I'd probably call q because
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he's got connections.
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I probably wouldn't call Murray
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because, um...
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I just wouldn't.
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[ Laughter ]
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The thing about murr is, he
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cannot keep his lips off people.
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It's weird.
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So we've come up with the
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perfect challenge for murr.
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He's got to go up and try to
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make out with strangers.
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And if he can't get them to
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kiss him, he loses.
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Who is he playing against?
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Both: Not it.
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[ Laughter ]
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Sal is on the prowl.
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Blond. Blond in the white.
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Excuse me.
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I want to get to the financial
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district.
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Okay.
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I know that I'm here.
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She's hot.
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Can I swap in on this?
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[ Laughter ]
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Uh, no.
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Anything that says going to
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south street.
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I really appreciate it.
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Hey, no problem.
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[ Record scratches ]
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No.
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[ Laughter ]
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She thought about it.
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The girl with the dreadlocks.
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Excuse me.
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Do you know if the subway's
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around here, by any chance?
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Yeah, there's a train station
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over there.
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You are the greatest.
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And the closest one is right
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there.
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Nobody would even look at me
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today.
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She's nice.
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You're the nicest person.
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He's gonna kiss her.
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Cheers, man.
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Mwah! I love you.
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All right, that's enough.
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I'm gonna punch you in the
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stomach.
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No.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Ding! ]
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"I'm gonna punch you in the
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stomach."
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That went from the nicest
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person I met all day to "i'm
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going to assault you."
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How about that guy?
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I'm really nervous.
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Excuse me, sir.
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I'm trying to get to the
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museum of natural history.
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The museum of natural history
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is straight up there.
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Is it walkable?
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It's a 25-minute walk.
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Here he goes.
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Cool. Thank you.
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Um...
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Today is Tuesday, right?
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Thank you so much.
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[ Laughing ]
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Oh, here you go, here you go.
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Here you go.
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Here's for Murray.
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Red? The red jacket?
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The guy.
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Oh, the guy.
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Not another guy.
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Oh, my god.
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I'm trying to get up to the
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metropolitan museum of art, and
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I just don't know where that is.
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Here it is, here it is, here
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it is.
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Perfect.
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Oh, here you go, here you go.
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Here's for Murray.
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The red jacket?
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The red ja...
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The guy?
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Oh, the guy.
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Oh, my god.
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In my life, I will never look
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like that guy.
295
00:07:18,789 --> 00:07:20,220
The only way I'm ever gonna look
296
00:07:20,221 --> 00:07:21,653
like that guy is cut my head off
297
00:07:21,654 --> 00:07:22,720
and put it on his body.
298
00:07:22,721 --> 00:07:24,753
I'm trying to get up to the
299
00:07:24,754 --> 00:07:26,853
metropolitan museum of art, and
300
00:07:26,854 --> 00:07:28,987
I just don't know where that is.
301
00:07:28,988 --> 00:07:30,053
Here it is, here it is, here
302
00:07:30,054 --> 00:07:31,620
it is.
303
00:07:31,621 --> 00:07:32,221
Perfect.
304
00:07:32,221 --> 00:07:33,154
Thank you so much, man.
305
00:07:33,155 --> 00:07:34,720
[ Record scratches ]
306
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,853
What?
307
00:07:37,854 --> 00:07:38,554
What?
308
00:07:38,554 --> 00:07:39,254
Get out of here.
309
00:07:39,255 --> 00:07:41,187
Oh, it's just, uh...
310
00:07:41,188 --> 00:07:42,188
You will hurt me, so I'm going
311
00:07:42,189 --> 00:07:43,587
to go.
312
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,488
[ Laughter ]
313
00:07:44,488 --> 00:07:45,321
That guy was gonna...
314
00:07:45,321 --> 00:07:46,321
Is he still staring at me?
315
00:07:46,322 --> 00:07:48,220
[ Laughter ]
316
00:07:48,221 --> 00:07:49,221
Girl on the fountain.
317
00:07:49,222 --> 00:07:50,653
Black shirt by the fountain.
318
00:07:50,654 --> 00:07:52,187
Excuse me.
319
00:07:52,188 --> 00:07:54,653
I'm trying to get to the
320
00:07:54,654 --> 00:07:57,287
museum of natural history.
321
00:07:57,288 --> 00:07:58,753
Is this walking distance up
322
00:07:58,754 --> 00:08:00,153
there, or is that too far?
323
00:08:00,154 --> 00:08:01,353
Oh, you could walk.
324
00:08:01,354 --> 00:08:02,254
It's 20 blocks.
325
00:08:02,255 --> 00:08:03,853
She's giving him pillow talk
326
00:08:03,854 --> 00:08:04,521
right now.
327
00:08:04,521 --> 00:08:05,254
Thank you.
328
00:08:05,254 --> 00:08:05,754
Thank you so much.
329
00:08:05,755 --> 00:08:09,787
Mm-hmm.
330
00:08:09,788 --> 00:08:10,920
[ Ding! ]
331
00:08:10,921 --> 00:08:11,987
I can't believe she kissed
332
00:08:11,988 --> 00:08:12,421
him.
333
00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:13,421
What is she doing?
334
00:08:13,422 --> 00:08:14,720
She needs to go wash her face
335
00:08:14,721 --> 00:08:15,288
right now.
336
00:08:15,289 --> 00:08:16,620
Somebody get that girl some
337
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,188
listerine.
338
00:08:17,189 --> 00:08:18,487
We just witnessed Murray's
339
00:08:18,488 --> 00:08:19,088
first kiss.
340
00:08:19,089 --> 00:08:20,453
[ Laughter ]
341
00:08:20,454 --> 00:08:21,753
[ Ding! ]
342
00:08:21,754 --> 00:08:22,820
Narrator: Sal and murr both
343
00:08:22,821 --> 00:08:26,453
make out with a win.
344
00:08:26,454 --> 00:08:27,553
It's embarrassing at this
345
00:08:27,554 --> 00:08:28,653
point in my life how out of
346
00:08:28,654 --> 00:08:29,188
shape I am.
347
00:08:29,188 --> 00:08:30,188
Don't get so hard on
348
00:08:30,188 --> 00:08:30,588
yourself.
349
00:08:30,589 --> 00:08:32,220
This is coming from you.
350
00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,420
Let me start again.
351
00:08:33,421 --> 00:08:34,753
I feel bad about how out of
352
00:08:34,754 --> 00:08:35,521
shape I am.
353
00:08:35,522 --> 00:08:37,087
[ Laughter ]
354
00:08:37,088 --> 00:08:38,220
We're in a bookstore, and
355
00:08:38,221 --> 00:08:39,387
today, we have to go up to
356
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:40,420
strangers and say a really
357
00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:41,987
bizarre word to them.
358
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,120
Challenge is to get them to
359
00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:44,121
repeat the words back to us.
360
00:08:44,121 --> 00:08:45,121
Hopefully the word's
361
00:08:45,121 --> 00:08:45,621
"paperback."
362
00:08:45,622 --> 00:08:47,188
[ Laughter ]
363
00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:51,553
All right, sal.
364
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:52,853
Try to get somebody to say the
365
00:08:52,854 --> 00:08:54,553
word gherkin.
366
00:08:54,554 --> 00:08:56,320
Like a mini pickle.
367
00:08:56,321 --> 00:08:57,154
I know what it is.
368
00:08:57,155 --> 00:08:58,353
Like stop jerkin' my gherkin.
369
00:08:58,354 --> 00:09:03,120
All right.
370
00:09:03,121 --> 00:09:04,121
I don't know which one to
371
00:09:04,122 --> 00:09:05,953
choose.
372
00:09:05,954 --> 00:09:07,187
There's, like, so many.
373
00:09:07,188 --> 00:09:08,487
I don't know the difference.
374
00:09:08,488 --> 00:09:09,753
I've got a little bit of a
375
00:09:09,754 --> 00:09:10,688
pickle going here.
376
00:09:10,689 --> 00:09:12,887
A little bit of a gherkin.
377
00:09:12,888 --> 00:09:14,820
[ Laughter ]
378
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,420
Speakin' of gherkin, I just ate
379
00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:18,087
at the corner diner.
380
00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:20,520
I had a cheeseburger.
381
00:09:20,521 --> 00:09:22,287
They had a pickle... crispest,
382
00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:24,120
best pickle I ever have had in a
383
00:09:24,121 --> 00:09:24,688
while.
384
00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:25,521
Some gherkin.
385
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,154
Yeah.
386
00:09:26,155 --> 00:09:27,220
Do you like those?
387
00:09:27,221 --> 00:09:28,987
A lot of people don't like them.
388
00:09:28,988 --> 00:09:30,053
Have you had them?
389
00:09:30,054 --> 00:09:31,620
I don't think I have.
390
00:09:31,621 --> 00:09:32,554
Had what?
391
00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:34,420
I don't think I've had one.
392
00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:35,021
No.
393
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,587
Gherkin style.
394
00:09:36,588 --> 00:09:38,487
Plus, it's fun to say...
395
00:09:38,488 --> 00:09:39,121
Gherkin.
396
00:09:39,122 --> 00:09:40,687
Right. Yeah, exactly...
397
00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:41,254
Gherkin.
398
00:09:41,254 --> 00:09:41,888
[ Ding! ]
399
00:09:41,888 --> 00:09:42,354
Oh!
400
00:09:42,355 --> 00:09:43,820
No, I don't know about that!
401
00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:45,353
We have to check the bylaws on
402
00:09:45,354 --> 00:09:46,288
that one, buddy.
403
00:09:46,289 --> 00:09:47,320
"It's fun to say"?
404
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,687
You can't say that, right?
405
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:50,320
You subliminally suggested he
406
00:09:50,321 --> 00:09:50,854
say it.
407
00:09:50,855 --> 00:09:52,287
You're suggesting he say it.
408
00:09:52,288 --> 00:09:53,420
I'll tell you right now, I
409
00:09:53,421 --> 00:09:54,453
will fight you tooth and nail on
410
00:09:54,454 --> 00:09:54,821
that.
411
00:09:54,822 --> 00:09:56,053
We're gonna take a vote on
412
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,021
that right now.
413
00:09:57,022 --> 00:09:58,087
No, it's not.
414
00:09:58,088 --> 00:09:59,220
No way, buddy.
415
00:09:59,221 --> 00:10:00,820
I didn't ask him to say
416
00:10:00,821 --> 00:10:01,521
anything.
417
00:10:01,521 --> 00:10:02,488
Don't even try.
418
00:10:02,489 --> 00:10:03,653
You know what you did.
419
00:10:03,654 --> 00:10:04,687
I'll tell you you're full
420
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,488
of [bleep] right now.
421
00:10:05,489 --> 00:10:06,653
Majority rules, buddy.
422
00:10:06,654 --> 00:10:07,654
[ Buzzer ]
423
00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:10,087
[ Laughter ]
424
00:10:10,088 --> 00:10:11,587
Q, you have to get somebody
425
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:12,987
to repeat the word hambone.
426
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,287
Hambone.
427
00:10:14,288 --> 00:10:15,353
Hambone.
428
00:10:15,354 --> 00:10:19,020
Hambone.
429
00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:20,087
Buddy, you can't do it right
430
00:10:20,088 --> 00:10:21,088
now with him standing right
431
00:10:21,089 --> 00:10:23,020
there...
432
00:10:23,021 --> 00:10:24,187
What's up, dawg?
433
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,021
Not much.
434
00:10:25,022 --> 00:10:27,620
How you doing?
435
00:10:27,621 --> 00:10:30,353
You see a book here called
436
00:10:30,354 --> 00:10:31,687
"hambone"?
437
00:10:31,688 --> 00:10:34,120
Uh, what's it about?
438
00:10:34,121 --> 00:10:36,953
It's about bones in the ham.
439
00:10:36,954 --> 00:10:38,753
[ Laughing ]
440
00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:39,853
Have you ever heard of it
441
00:10:39,854 --> 00:10:40,488
before?
442
00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:41,054
No.
443
00:10:41,055 --> 00:10:42,220
In college, they called me
444
00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:44,353
hambone or hamboner.
445
00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:46,120
[ Laughter ]
446
00:10:46,121 --> 00:10:47,520
So when I heard that this book
447
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,920
was coming out, I was like, "i
448
00:10:48,921 --> 00:10:50,053
got to read it," right?
449
00:10:50,054 --> 00:10:50,654
Uh-huh.
450
00:10:50,655 --> 00:10:52,853
Hambone.
451
00:10:52,854 --> 00:10:53,521
Yeah.
452
00:10:53,521 --> 00:10:54,421
Yeah what?
453
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,354
[ Laughter ]
454
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:56,354
I'm sorry?
455
00:10:56,354 --> 00:10:56,888
What?
456
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,187
No, I'm just like yeah.
457
00:10:58,188 --> 00:10:59,720
I thought you said something.
458
00:10:59,721 --> 00:11:00,753
No, I didn't say anything.
459
00:11:00,754 --> 00:11:01,288
Oh, okay.
460
00:11:01,289 --> 00:11:02,953
[ Buzzer ]
461
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:06,853
Murr, get him to say the word
462
00:11:06,854 --> 00:11:08,053
caulk.
463
00:11:08,054 --> 00:11:08,621
I'll try.
464
00:11:08,621 --> 00:11:09,621
Like the stuff in the
465
00:11:09,621 --> 00:11:10,088
bathtub?
466
00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:10,521
Yeah.
467
00:11:10,522 --> 00:11:11,620
Not the thing you use on
468
00:11:11,621 --> 00:11:13,620
women?
469
00:11:13,621 --> 00:11:14,853
I read this guy.
470
00:11:14,854 --> 00:11:16,720
I've read that guy, by the way.
471
00:11:16,721 --> 00:11:18,453
This top one that you've got.
472
00:11:18,454 --> 00:11:19,587
Do you know his bio?
473
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:20,521
A little bit.
474
00:11:20,522 --> 00:11:22,687
For like a brief time for one
475
00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:24,253
summer, he worked as a
476
00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:25,853
professional caulker, like the
477
00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:27,253
guys that build houses and
478
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:28,188
stuff like that.
479
00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:29,653
Like, designing with caulk.
480
00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:30,588
Interesting.
481
00:11:30,588 --> 00:11:31,521
Crazy, right?
482
00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:33,687
Did that for like two summers,
483
00:11:33,688 --> 00:11:35,620
which my dad used to caulk
484
00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:36,488
a lot.
485
00:11:36,489 --> 00:11:38,487
He was a home-improvement guy.
486
00:11:38,488 --> 00:11:39,488
Look at how confused this guy
487
00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:40,488
is.
488
00:11:40,489 --> 00:11:43,587
He did a lot with caulk, and
489
00:11:43,588 --> 00:11:45,053
it was fascinating to read.
490
00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:46,353
I've done some caulking
491
00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:46,788
before.
492
00:11:46,788 --> 00:11:47,788
[ Ding! ]
493
00:11:47,789 --> 00:11:49,953
Ohh!
494
00:11:49,954 --> 00:11:51,187
You've caulked before?
495
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,353
Son of a bitch!
496
00:11:53,354 --> 00:11:56,053
He pulled that [bleep] off.
497
00:11:56,054 --> 00:11:58,120
Joe, try and get this guy to
498
00:11:58,121 --> 00:12:02,453
say wazoo.
499
00:12:02,454 --> 00:12:04,953
Oh, this is so annoying now.
500
00:12:04,954 --> 00:12:06,220
I've got, like, all these
501
00:12:06,221 --> 00:12:07,720
bookmarks, and now they put the
502
00:12:07,721 --> 00:12:08,920
bookmarks in here, like,
503
00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:10,053
included in the book.
504
00:12:10,054 --> 00:12:11,153
Wasted your time.
505
00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:11,788
I know.
506
00:12:11,789 --> 00:12:13,220
I've got a whole collection.
507
00:12:13,221 --> 00:12:14,587
I have them out the wazoo.
508
00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:16,620
In my house, all up in my wazoo,
509
00:12:16,621 --> 00:12:18,187
I got so many bookmarks.
510
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:20,020
And now they just throw it in.
511
00:12:20,021 --> 00:12:21,820
It's time for some kind of
512
00:12:21,821 --> 00:12:22,621
complaint.
513
00:12:22,622 --> 00:12:24,253
My wazoo is filled with
514
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:25,054
bookmarks.
515
00:12:25,055 --> 00:12:27,253
[ Laughter ]
516
00:12:27,254 --> 00:12:29,453
It is not an ideal situation for
517
00:12:29,454 --> 00:12:30,953
my, uh...
518
00:12:30,954 --> 00:12:32,053
For the wazoo, in general.
519
00:12:32,054 --> 00:12:32,754
Exactly right!
520
00:12:32,755 --> 00:12:35,353
Oh, my god!
521
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:36,887
Have a good day, sir.
522
00:12:36,888 --> 00:12:37,788
I'm done. I'm done.
523
00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:38,953
I don't even want to play this
524
00:12:38,954 --> 00:12:39,554
game anymore.
525
00:12:39,554 --> 00:12:40,554
I'm sick of this [bleep]
526
00:12:40,555 --> 00:12:42,387
This is ridiculous!
527
00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:43,687
Narrator: With that, q and
528
00:12:43,688 --> 00:12:47,687
sal have losses up the wazoo.
529
00:12:47,688 --> 00:12:49,053
Sal's lack of accountability.
530
00:12:49,054 --> 00:12:50,220
It's always somebody else's
531
00:12:50,221 --> 00:12:50,588
fault.
532
00:12:50,589 --> 00:12:51,787
If sal gets a flat tire, it's
533
00:12:51,788 --> 00:12:52,554
the tire's fault.
534
00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:53,687
Sal gets sick, it's somebody
535
00:12:53,688 --> 00:12:54,321
else's fault.
536
00:12:54,322 --> 00:12:55,453
You make me sound like I
537
00:12:55,454 --> 00:12:56,653
don't take responsibility for
538
00:12:56,654 --> 00:12:57,221
my actions.
539
00:12:57,222 --> 00:12:58,587
It's not my fault you feel this
540
00:12:58,588 --> 00:12:59,188
way.
541
00:12:59,189 --> 00:13:00,887
[ Laughter ]
542
00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:01,354
Smile!
543
00:13:01,355 --> 00:13:02,587
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
544
00:13:02,588 --> 00:13:04,087
We are portrait photographers at
545
00:13:04,088 --> 00:13:05,253
the Jersey gardens mall.
546
00:13:05,254 --> 00:13:06,353
We're gonna be offering
547
00:13:06,354 --> 00:13:07,453
people free photo sessions, but
548
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,853
we do accept tips.
549
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:09,788
Now, it's not gonna be easy
550
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:10,688
to get a tip, though, because
551
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:11,720
we're going to be telling each
552
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:12,887
other what to say and do.
553
00:13:12,888 --> 00:13:14,220
The police have asked us
554
00:13:14,221 --> 00:13:15,553
never to give murr a camera
555
00:13:15,554 --> 00:13:17,120
again, so murr is gonna sit this
556
00:13:17,121 --> 00:13:21,287
one out.
557
00:13:21,288 --> 00:13:22,288
What's his name?
558
00:13:22,288 --> 00:13:23,021
Joshua.
559
00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:23,954
Hi, Joshua.
560
00:13:23,955 --> 00:13:25,387
We've planned a little
561
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,020
something special for q.
562
00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:27,654
Here we go.
563
00:13:27,655 --> 00:13:28,787
Oh, he's looking right at the
564
00:13:28,788 --> 00:13:29,154
camera.
565
00:13:29,154 --> 00:13:29,688
Oh, wait.
566
00:13:29,689 --> 00:13:30,753
This is a perfect opportunity.
567
00:13:30,754 --> 00:13:31,521
This is a perfect
568
00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:32,021
opportunity.
569
00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:33,021
Let me just roll down a
570
00:13:33,022 --> 00:13:34,220
backdrop I have here.
571
00:13:34,221 --> 00:13:35,487
Let me just roll down a
572
00:13:35,488 --> 00:13:36,121
backdrop.
573
00:13:36,121 --> 00:13:36,854
Hold on.
574
00:13:36,854 --> 00:13:37,854
I just got to roll down a
575
00:13:37,854 --> 00:13:38,321
backdrop.
576
00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:39,387
I got a perfect backdrop for
577
00:13:39,388 --> 00:13:39,788
you.
578
00:13:39,788 --> 00:13:40,788
Open up those curtains.
579
00:13:40,789 --> 00:13:48,221
Roll it down.
580
00:13:51,854 --> 00:13:52,920
What's his name?
581
00:13:52,921 --> 00:13:53,654
Joshua.
582
00:13:53,654 --> 00:13:54,588
Hi, Joshua.
583
00:13:54,589 --> 00:13:56,020
We've planned a little
584
00:13:56,021 --> 00:13:57,653
something special for q.
585
00:13:57,654 --> 00:13:58,787
Here we go.
586
00:13:58,788 --> 00:13:59,488
Oh, wait.
587
00:13:59,489 --> 00:14:00,520
This is a perfect opportunity.
588
00:14:00,521 --> 00:14:01,054
This is a perfect
589
00:14:01,054 --> 00:14:01,521
opportunity.
590
00:14:01,522 --> 00:14:02,553
Let me just roll down a
591
00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:03,554
backdrop I have here.
592
00:14:03,555 --> 00:14:04,620
Let me just roll down a
593
00:14:04,621 --> 00:14:05,188
backdrop.
594
00:14:05,189 --> 00:14:06,453
I just got to roll down a
595
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:06,988
backdrop.
596
00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:08,120
I got a perfect backdrop for
597
00:14:08,121 --> 00:14:08,521
you.
598
00:14:08,522 --> 00:14:09,653
Open up those curtains.
599
00:14:09,654 --> 00:14:10,787
Roll it down.
600
00:14:10,788 --> 00:14:13,887
Good, roll it. Roll it.
601
00:14:13,888 --> 00:14:14,920
You got it.
602
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:15,953
Okay.
603
00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:20,987
[ Laughter ]
604
00:14:20,988 --> 00:14:22,087
All right.
605
00:14:22,088 --> 00:14:23,853
This is a perfect, perfect
606
00:14:23,854 --> 00:14:25,087
opportunity.
607
00:14:25,088 --> 00:14:26,220
Oh, my god.
608
00:14:26,221 --> 00:14:27,853
Here we go. Ready?
609
00:14:27,854 --> 00:14:29,187
Everybody say...
610
00:14:29,188 --> 00:14:30,353
All: Milf!
611
00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:32,553
We do accept gratuities if
612
00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,287
you guys feel like it.
613
00:14:34,288 --> 00:14:35,587
You don't have to.
614
00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:37,020
No tip. Zero tip.
615
00:14:37,021 --> 00:14:38,021
Yes!
616
00:14:38,022 --> 00:14:39,620
[ Buzzer ]
617
00:14:39,621 --> 00:14:41,253
That's really nice, really nice.
618
00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:42,820
Okay, stay there.
619
00:14:42,821 --> 00:14:43,421
Stay like that.
620
00:14:43,422 --> 00:14:44,753
Sal's gonna love what's
621
00:14:44,754 --> 00:14:45,853
behind that curtain.
622
00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:47,053
Stay in the pose that you
623
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:47,521
were in.
624
00:14:47,522 --> 00:14:48,553
Spread the backdrop.
625
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,887
Let's change the background a
626
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:50,821
little.
627
00:14:50,822 --> 00:14:52,987
Oh, man, please, no.
628
00:14:52,988 --> 00:14:53,954
No, I got it!
629
00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:55,420
It's all right, all right.
630
00:14:55,421 --> 00:14:56,687
Roll it down.
631
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,120
There it is.
632
00:14:58,121 --> 00:15:00,153
All right.
633
00:15:00,154 --> 00:15:00,754
All right.
634
00:15:00,755 --> 00:15:02,087
This is an old picture of me,
635
00:15:02,088 --> 00:15:03,453
when I first thought of eating
636
00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:04,887
potatoes and taking photography.
637
00:15:04,888 --> 00:15:06,120
Get them to kiss right in
638
00:15:06,121 --> 00:15:07,054
front of your face.
639
00:15:07,055 --> 00:15:08,320
Okay, I want you to kiss.
640
00:15:08,321 --> 00:15:09,587
Make it romantic, bro.
641
00:15:09,588 --> 00:15:10,887
The three of you out on a date.
642
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:12,587
Guys, you're out on the town.
643
00:15:12,588 --> 00:15:13,720
Three of us are out for a
644
00:15:13,721 --> 00:15:14,488
night on the town.
645
00:15:14,489 --> 00:15:15,687
We're having fun, we're having
646
00:15:15,688 --> 00:15:16,088
fun.
647
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,153
Look at us... we're hanging out
648
00:15:17,154 --> 00:15:17,888
by the brick wall eating
649
00:15:17,888 --> 00:15:18,388
potatoes.
650
00:15:18,388 --> 00:15:19,121
[ Laughter ]
651
00:15:19,122 --> 00:15:20,353
Could you do me a favor?
652
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,887
Take a quick picture of me with
653
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,087
myself.
654
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,753
[ Laughter ]
655
00:15:24,754 --> 00:15:26,587
Can you do me a favor?
656
00:15:26,588 --> 00:15:27,354
Yeah.
657
00:15:27,355 --> 00:15:29,553
Can you take a quick picture
658
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,487
of me with my old fat self?
659
00:15:31,488 --> 00:15:32,987
[ Laughter ]
660
00:15:32,988 --> 00:15:37,387
Make that face.
661
00:15:37,388 --> 00:15:38,420
If you felt like you had a
662
00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:41,953
nice time, we do accept tips.
663
00:15:41,954 --> 00:15:43,153
$6. Thank you so much.
664
00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:43,788
What?!
665
00:15:43,788 --> 00:15:44,788
That's [bleep]
666
00:15:44,789 --> 00:15:45,820
$6.
667
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:47,187
[ Ding! ]
668
00:15:47,188 --> 00:15:48,520
Such a son of a bitch.
669
00:15:48,521 --> 00:15:50,287
You know this joke is a very
670
00:15:50,288 --> 00:15:51,288
expensive joke.
671
00:15:51,289 --> 00:15:52,587
I hope you appreciate it.
672
00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:53,488
Shut up, Joe.
673
00:15:53,489 --> 00:15:55,053
[ Laughing ]
674
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,087
You gonna take pictures
675
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,787
together?
676
00:15:57,788 --> 00:15:58,887
You know, Joe, you do better
677
00:15:58,888 --> 00:15:59,953
work when you're listening to
678
00:15:59,954 --> 00:16:00,588
music.
679
00:16:00,589 --> 00:16:01,720
Oh, here we go.
680
00:16:01,721 --> 00:16:03,187
In the drawer, there is an
681
00:16:03,188 --> 00:16:03,821
iPod.
682
00:16:03,822 --> 00:16:05,287
Can you pull it out, buddy?
683
00:16:05,288 --> 00:16:06,520
Come on, man.
684
00:16:06,521 --> 00:16:07,454
With this.
685
00:16:07,455 --> 00:16:09,287
Joe doesn't dance well, but
686
00:16:09,288 --> 00:16:10,887
he dances with commitment.
687
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:12,187
We like to make it happen as
688
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,088
much as possible.
689
00:16:13,089 --> 00:16:14,853
The first track there, buddy.
690
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:15,154
Dance.
691
00:16:15,155 --> 00:16:16,520
Okay, so let's...
692
00:16:16,521 --> 00:16:18,153
Let's just have some fun.
693
00:16:18,154 --> 00:16:19,687
Let's just loosen up.
694
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,187
Crazy dance moves.
695
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,820
Crazy [bleep]
696
00:16:22,821 --> 00:16:26,053
The running man.
697
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:28,753
Like a drunk monkey.
698
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:31,087
He looks like a crazy person.
699
00:16:31,088 --> 00:16:32,088
Hit number two.
700
00:16:32,089 --> 00:16:33,653
We got some good running music.
701
00:16:33,654 --> 00:16:35,153
Oh, come on with this.
702
00:16:35,154 --> 00:16:37,287
Three laps. Three laps.
703
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,120
Have you ever heard of frijotski
704
00:16:39,121 --> 00:16:40,853
photography?
705
00:16:40,854 --> 00:16:41,953
Frijotski.
706
00:16:41,954 --> 00:16:43,553
It's a new thing where you
707
00:16:43,554 --> 00:16:46,920
freeze as I jotski.
708
00:16:46,921 --> 00:16:48,720
Stay.
709
00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:49,721
Stay there.
710
00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:52,120
You don't move. Don't move.
711
00:16:52,121 --> 00:16:53,187
Run, run!
712
00:16:53,188 --> 00:16:55,253
Don't move.
713
00:16:55,254 --> 00:16:56,720
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
714
00:16:56,721 --> 00:16:59,153
You're so gonna ruin it.
715
00:16:59,154 --> 00:17:00,553
He's so out of breath right
716
00:17:00,554 --> 00:17:01,121
now.
717
00:17:01,122 --> 00:17:02,353
Don't you ruin it!
718
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,088
Don't move!
719
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:03,888
[ Laughter ]
720
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:04,920
That's it, I'm done.
721
00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:05,921
Here, give me a tip.
722
00:17:05,922 --> 00:17:07,753
[ Laughter ]
723
00:17:07,754 --> 00:17:09,253
Just give me a tip.
724
00:17:09,254 --> 00:17:10,387
I'm done.
725
00:17:10,388 --> 00:17:11,653
That's all I can handle.
726
00:17:11,654 --> 00:17:12,654
[ Laughter ]
727
00:17:12,655 --> 00:17:14,853
I'm spent, ladies.
728
00:17:14,854 --> 00:17:16,520
Did you just tip me?
729
00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:17,454
Aw, that was so nice.
730
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:18,520
It'll go right to my hospital
731
00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:19,753
Bill.
732
00:17:19,754 --> 00:17:21,287
[ Ding! ]
733
00:17:21,288 --> 00:17:22,387
You would think calling a
734
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:23,321
woman a milf is a compliment.
735
00:17:23,321 --> 00:17:24,321
It was a surprise to me, but
736
00:17:24,322 --> 00:17:25,887
I thought they'd like it.
737
00:17:25,888 --> 00:17:27,253
News flash... she didn't.
738
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,687
[ Laughter ]
739
00:17:28,688 --> 00:17:30,120
Narrator: Q was less than
740
00:17:30,121 --> 00:17:33,820
picture-perfect on that one.
741
00:17:33,821 --> 00:17:35,220
Sal, how come you never like
742
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,287
a picture of yourself?
743
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,653
Well, this whole day and age
744
00:17:37,654 --> 00:17:38,953
now of "I'll take a picture of
745
00:17:38,954 --> 00:17:40,287
you right now and upload it to
746
00:17:40,288 --> 00:17:41,387
the Internet right now"...
747
00:17:41,388 --> 00:17:42,354
Take it easy, buddy.
748
00:17:42,355 --> 00:17:43,487
People think they can do
749
00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:44,720
whatever they want, this whole
750
00:17:44,721 --> 00:17:45,488
digital era now.
751
00:17:45,489 --> 00:17:46,753
"Oh, I'll take a picture of you
752
00:17:46,754 --> 00:17:47,554
and it's forever."
753
00:17:47,555 --> 00:17:48,620
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
754
00:17:48,621 --> 00:17:51,853
[ Laughter ]
755
00:17:51,854 --> 00:17:52,953
For years, sal and I have
756
00:17:52,954 --> 00:17:54,153
played this game where we invade
757
00:17:54,154 --> 00:17:55,387
people's personal conversations.
758
00:17:55,388 --> 00:17:56,587
Yes, we both know who's
759
00:17:56,588 --> 00:17:57,454
better at it, too.
760
00:17:57,454 --> 00:17:58,454
Both: I am!
761
00:17:58,455 --> 00:17:59,987
Settle this, already!
762
00:17:59,988 --> 00:18:01,720
All right, bro, calm down.
763
00:18:01,721 --> 00:18:03,287
Take it easy.
764
00:18:03,288 --> 00:18:04,453
The goal is, Joe and I have
765
00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:05,354
to barge into people's
766
00:18:05,355 --> 00:18:06,387
conversations for at least
767
00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:07,420
30 seconds without getting
768
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:07,954
kicked out.
769
00:18:07,955 --> 00:18:09,020
I got 100 bucks on Joey.
770
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:09,688
Oh!
771
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,120
I got $1 on sal.
772
00:18:11,121 --> 00:18:12,654
[ Laughter ]
773
00:18:16,088 --> 00:18:21,053
Sal's up.
774
00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:23,587
Tell me about it, right?
775
00:18:23,588 --> 00:18:25,787
Hoo!
776
00:18:25,788 --> 00:18:26,987
I know.
777
00:18:26,988 --> 00:18:28,420
Totally, guys.
778
00:18:28,421 --> 00:18:29,321
Yeah.
779
00:18:29,322 --> 00:18:31,220
You never know about it.
780
00:18:31,221 --> 00:18:33,087
Sometimes life hands you lemons,
781
00:18:33,088 --> 00:18:34,720
so it's so true what you're
782
00:18:34,721 --> 00:18:37,320
saying... about...
783
00:18:37,321 --> 00:18:40,020
What were you talking about?
784
00:18:40,021 --> 00:18:41,487
You can't ignore a giant
785
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:42,121
loudmouth.
786
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,420
What I don't know about
787
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:44,920
weddings could fill up a book,
788
00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:46,320
actually.
789
00:18:46,321 --> 00:18:47,953
She said stop talking?
790
00:18:47,954 --> 00:18:50,787
Yeah, no, I just...
791
00:18:50,788 --> 00:18:53,987
well, that's not 30 seconds.
792
00:18:53,988 --> 00:18:56,787
Here he goes, here he goes.
793
00:18:56,788 --> 00:18:58,153
And then I called her
794
00:18:58,154 --> 00:19:00,520
earlier, and she was like what?
795
00:19:00,521 --> 00:19:01,421
[ Laughter ]
796
00:19:01,422 --> 00:19:02,787
I fit right into the
797
00:19:02,788 --> 00:19:03,754
conversation?
798
00:19:03,755 --> 00:19:05,620
She has really got to learn to
799
00:19:05,621 --> 00:19:06,720
slow her roll.
800
00:19:06,721 --> 00:19:07,920
You are 100% right.
801
00:19:07,921 --> 00:19:09,253
You know how she gets.
802
00:19:09,254 --> 00:19:11,087
Sometimes she gets a little bit,
803
00:19:11,088 --> 00:19:13,120
you know, eh, pms'y.
804
00:19:13,121 --> 00:19:15,420
I didn't say it, but...
805
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:15,821
I did.
806
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,120
But two plus two equals four
807
00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:19,320
with you 100% of the time.
808
00:19:19,321 --> 00:19:21,420
All the time, just how people...
809
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:22,453
five more seconds.
810
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,520
What's going on with you,
811
00:19:24,521 --> 00:19:25,388
big red?
812
00:19:25,389 --> 00:19:26,453
It's just us girls in the park.
813
00:19:26,454 --> 00:19:28,020
He did it!
814
00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:29,287
This challenge was not
815
00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:30,687
indicative of how many times
816
00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:31,588
I've won in the past.
817
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:32,588
I just want to say that.
818
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:33,787
All that mattered was now,
819
00:19:33,788 --> 00:19:34,554
sal.
820
00:19:34,555 --> 00:19:36,220
I'd like a rematch.
821
00:19:36,221 --> 00:19:38,153
It's settled!
822
00:19:38,154 --> 00:19:39,287
Narrator: That's right, murr.
823
00:19:39,288 --> 00:19:40,254
It's settled.
824
00:19:40,255 --> 00:19:43,520
Q is tonight's big loser.
825
00:19:43,521 --> 00:19:44,388
[ Bat cracks ]
826
00:19:44,389 --> 00:19:46,287
We're at a lakewood blueclaws
827
00:19:46,288 --> 00:19:48,120
minor league baseball game, and
828
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:49,620
we just sent q down to a
829
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:50,588
specific seat.
830
00:19:50,588 --> 00:19:51,254
We're gonna ask him to do
831
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:52,287
something pretty gross in front
832
00:19:52,288 --> 00:19:54,220
of 7,000 people!
833
00:19:54,221 --> 00:19:58,521
[ Cellphone rings ]
834
00:20:00,821 --> 00:20:02,720
We're at a lakewood blueclaws
835
00:20:02,721 --> 00:20:04,520
minor league baseball game, and
836
00:20:04,521 --> 00:20:05,953
we just sent q down to a
837
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,753
specific seat, where he's gonna
838
00:20:07,754 --> 00:20:09,187
sit and wait for further
839
00:20:09,188 --> 00:20:10,920
instruction.
840
00:20:10,921 --> 00:20:13,087
[ Cellphone rings ]
841
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:14,054
Hello?
842
00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:15,120
Hey, q?
843
00:20:15,121 --> 00:20:15,888
Yeah.
844
00:20:15,889 --> 00:20:17,087
We want you to start picking
845
00:20:17,088 --> 00:20:20,287
your nose.
846
00:20:20,288 --> 00:20:21,288
Start picking your nose.
847
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,088
You do not stop.
848
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:22,621
Don't stop.
849
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:23,720
Do not stop.
850
00:20:23,721 --> 00:20:24,388
Pick it!
851
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:29,653
[ Groans ]
852
00:20:29,654 --> 00:20:30,687
Keep picking.
853
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:31,421
That's it.
854
00:20:31,422 --> 00:20:32,553
Deeper.
855
00:20:32,554 --> 00:20:33,587
It's about to get worse.
856
00:20:33,588 --> 00:20:35,553
Look up.
857
00:20:35,554 --> 00:20:39,220
[ Laughter ]
858
00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:41,254
Oh, my god.
859
00:20:46,188 --> 00:20:48,520
Oh, you got to eat it!
860
00:20:48,521 --> 00:20:49,853
You got to eat it!
861
00:20:49,854 --> 00:20:51,187
Oh, my god!
862
00:20:51,188 --> 00:20:54,620
[ Laughing ]
863
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,187
Oh! Oh!
864
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:59,121
That's what I call a
47295
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