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Narrator: Coming up, the guys
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make q pig out.
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Oh, my god.
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Narrator: Murr gets crabby at
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the mall.
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Crab walk, crab walk.
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You can see it.
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Narrator: And everyone's in
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the line of fire when they piss
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off this guy.
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Plus tonight's big loser has to
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admit to a crowd that he did...
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What?!
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We're working at
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Mike's donut shop, asking
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customers if they want to donate
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to our charity of the day.
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The catch is we don't know
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what the charities are because
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we've written them for each
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other.
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Yeah, we've got to read the
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name out loud and get a
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donation.
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If you can't get any donations,
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you lose.
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Wait. We work here?
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Yeah.
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We work here.
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[ Laughter ]
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All right, there's a glazed
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doughnut.
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And we're doing a collection for
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a charity today.
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It's about the... there's too
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many churches.
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Oh, ho, ho!
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There's churches everywhere.
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That's what I'm saying.
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So we're gonna collect a fund
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and knock some down.
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[ Laughs ]
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You understand where i'm
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coming from.
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Right?
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Yes.
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You want to give me a dollar?
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Okay, I'll talk to you later
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about it.
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[ Laughter ]
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$1.25.
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$1.25.
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Okay, so, we're doing a local
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collection for my charity that
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I'm trying to get some funds
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for.
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So, we're looking for donations
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for...
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[ Laughs ]
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It's handjobs across america.
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[ Laughter ]
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So, it's sort of like
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hands across america, where
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everybody holds hands.
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But here they're holding
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something else.
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[ Laughter ]
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It helps everybody.
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I mean, there's all winners in
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it.
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So, we're just looking for some
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money to help, you know, get the
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funds started.
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No donation?
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Okay? That's all right.
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Nothing.
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Joe striking out.
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[ Buzzer ]
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This is everything?
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Yes.
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How come you're not in red?
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Beside working here, I also
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work for a lot of like...
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I've never seen you work here
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before.
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Yeah, yeah, I'm here you when
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you're not here.
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[ Laughter ]
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I'm actually raising money for a
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charity that I really believe
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strongly about.
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Well, what's the charity?
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[ Laughter ]
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Give a fat kid some fruit.
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[ Laughter ]
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If you give a fat kid some
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fruit, he'll only get fatter.
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So, would you like to give to
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the charity?
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No, no, he's not giving any.
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Oh, this is awesome.
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It's an old lady for this
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charity.
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How are you today?
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Sal, go ahead, man.
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Rope her in.
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He has no idea what's about
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to hit him.
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Let's just shove him under
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the bus.
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Just shove.
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Get that charity money.
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Come on.
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I wouldn't lead you astray.
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I can't look at it.
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Do it, buddy, do it.
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We're also collecting money
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for charity today.
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I can't even look.
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[ Laughing ] Oh, my god.
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It's a really good cause.
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Oh, no, no. [ Laughs ]
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I've been collecting for it
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for years now.
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It's my own charity that I made
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up.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Laughter continues ]
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Do it. Do it.
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We're collecting for charity
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today.
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Any kind of charity?
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No, no.
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We're just doing a couple that I
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run myself.
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It's a little... it's a
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little...
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[ laughs ]
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Kolonics for kids?
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Kolonics for kids is...
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Now, they... have you ever given
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a child a colonic?
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But it's only for adults.
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No, not anymore.
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[ Ughter ]
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Oh, okay.
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It's a noninvasive procedure.
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What the hell is a
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noninvasive colonic?
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How does that work, bud?
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We... we... nothing...
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Nothing... nothing goes in them.
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We just... we just squeeze them.
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[ Laughter ]
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Squeeze them?
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That's like crazy method.
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But it's real.
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This is on the up-and-up, right?
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Oh, it's on the up-up-and-up.
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Okay.
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Oh, really?
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She just donated to
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kolonics for kids?
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Ugh.
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Thank you.
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[ Ding! ]
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Here's your doughnut.
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I'll tell you, by the way, we're
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actually raising money in the
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store for charity.
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So, if you're interested, I'll
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show you what the charity is
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real quick.
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Okay.
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[ Laughter ]
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Explain that one, bud.
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It's a fake charity.
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I've worked for fake charity for
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many years now.
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It's an international
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association to fight
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globalization and deforestation
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in the transatlantic countries
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specifically.
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This fake charity is the...
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The... the... the... the best
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fake charity out there.
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So, we're trying to raise money
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for this fake charity.
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You got odds on this?
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There's no way, right?
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Do you have a quarter or
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anything like that for this fake
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charity?
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You would?
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Oh, ho!
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It says "fake charity."
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What more could we do?
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It says fake charity.
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I know what it says.
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I see it!
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Thank you so much.
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At the fake meetings we have,
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I'll tell everyone.
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I have a charity that i'm
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running here today.
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So, we're raising money for a
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great cause.
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It's, uh...
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Come on, people.
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[ Laughter ]
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It... it's...
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You know, like, like, like "come
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on, people!"
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[ Laughter ]
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Like "come on!
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Just come on!"
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You know, like we're trying to
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get a big rally together.
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You know, the great thing about
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this is guys, girls, anybody can
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join.
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We can all come on, people.
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I for one love come on, people.
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[ Laughter ]
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Sure about that.
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"Come on, people."
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Yeah, just...
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46 cents to come on, people.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Ding! ]
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We're raising some money for
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charity here today if you're
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interested.
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Cool.
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Well, you can get in on this,
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too.
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Ready?
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Just a little charity.
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It's the "don't rock the goat."
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You probably see goats like
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everywhere.
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Don't rock the...
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Both: Goat.
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Don't rock the goat.
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That's right. That's right.
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Do you have any money you want
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to donate?
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[ Laughter ]
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Oh, you're such a jerk.
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Just to recap, I'm a
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stranger.
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We've never met.
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I said to you, don't rock the
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goat, give me money, you said
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yes.
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[ Laughter ]
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And you handed me money, and I
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put it in that box.
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Yeah.
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Thank you, sir.
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Does he have no shirt on?
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Oh, my god.
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Does that guy have no shirt on
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under the jacket?
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Get him. Get him.
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What we're doing today is
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we're raising money for charity.
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They wanted me to give you the
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spiel.
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Do you got a second for this
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spiel?
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It's for charity.
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Here we go.
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Yeah, get that kid out of that
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well.
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You know how, like, every other
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day, there's some stupid kid...
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Did some stupid kid fall in the
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well?
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You, sir, look like you would
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give the shirt off your back.
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Now, can I give you my spiel?
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Yeah.
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All right, here you go.
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He's giving it to him.
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If I don't live in this
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neighborhood, am I...
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don't take it, q.
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Well, now I feel there's a
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lot of responsibility on me
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taking that dollar.
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No, nobody's dead.
294
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,553
[ Laughter ]
295
00:07:03,554 --> 00:07:05,487
I don't want to die for...
296
00:07:05,488 --> 00:07:06,853
Yeah, I remember.
297
00:07:06,854 --> 00:07:07,588
All right.
298
00:07:07,588 --> 00:07:08,321
Thank you.
299
00:07:08,322 --> 00:07:10,153
Dude, what happened with your
300
00:07:10,154 --> 00:07:10,654
turn?
301
00:07:10,654 --> 00:07:11,488
[ Laughter ]
302
00:07:11,489 --> 00:07:13,120
Mike, the hell's going on
303
00:07:13,121 --> 00:07:13,954
around here?
304
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,453
[ Laughter ]
305
00:07:15,454 --> 00:07:16,987
[ Ding! ]
306
00:07:16,988 --> 00:07:18,220
Joe loses.
307
00:07:18,221 --> 00:07:19,921
[ Buzzer ]
308
00:07:22,254 --> 00:07:23,353
You think you're spontaneous,
309
00:07:23,354 --> 00:07:24,487
but the fact of the matter is,
310
00:07:24,488 --> 00:07:25,653
you don't think things through.
311
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:26,621
What most people call
312
00:07:26,621 --> 00:07:27,388
spontaneous is just
313
00:07:27,388 --> 00:07:28,288
irresponsible for you.
314
00:07:28,288 --> 00:07:29,221
I'm like, "what's up?
315
00:07:29,221 --> 00:07:30,221
What are you doing today?"
316
00:07:30,222 --> 00:07:31,287
You're like, "I bought a car
317
00:07:31,288 --> 00:07:31,688
today."
318
00:07:31,689 --> 00:07:32,920
He drives up in like a
319
00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:34,053
50-grand Cadillac, like
320
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,487
something you see old mobsters
321
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,454
driving in movies.
322
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,753
You call it spontaneous.
323
00:07:37,754 --> 00:07:41,888
I call it like slow down.
324
00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:43,087
So, we're at a Chinese
325
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,520
restaurant, and the challenge is
326
00:07:44,521 --> 00:07:45,920
that we have to approach people
327
00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:47,253
that are eating lunch and eat
328
00:07:47,254 --> 00:07:49,587
off their plate without saying a
329
00:07:49,588 --> 00:07:50,221
word at all.
330
00:07:50,222 --> 00:07:51,553
You can't explain what you're
331
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:51,988
doing.
332
00:07:51,989 --> 00:07:53,287
The guy who eats the fewest
333
00:07:53,288 --> 00:07:54,920
items loses.
334
00:07:54,921 --> 00:07:56,087
I'll tell you what I'm gonna
335
00:07:56,088 --> 00:07:57,320
do... I'm going straight over to
336
00:07:57,321 --> 00:07:58,453
the biggest guy in this place.
337
00:07:58,454 --> 00:07:59,321
I'm gonna pass him.
338
00:07:59,322 --> 00:08:00,653
I'm gonna go right to the other
339
00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:03,488
table.
340
00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:07,687
This is terrible.
341
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,421
Get in there.
342
00:08:16,154 --> 00:08:18,220
Oh, oh, oh!
343
00:08:18,221 --> 00:08:20,254
He did it really fast.
344
00:08:27,221 --> 00:08:28,054
[ Ding! ]
345
00:08:28,055 --> 00:08:29,754
You like it?
346
00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:39,288
[ Ding! ]
347
00:08:39,289 --> 00:08:41,253
He's standing there sipping
348
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:41,988
the tea.
349
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,688
Ahh!
350
00:08:45,921 --> 00:08:47,653
That's a stop.
351
00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:48,221
[ Ding! ]
352
00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:49,687
He got two.
353
00:08:49,688 --> 00:08:51,688
I'm going in.
354
00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:59,121
[ Ding! ]
355
00:09:02,854 --> 00:09:03,887
Excuse me.
356
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:05,053
[ Ding! ]
357
00:09:05,054 --> 00:09:08,787
[ Gasps ]
358
00:09:08,788 --> 00:09:09,721
Excuse me.
359
00:09:09,722 --> 00:09:11,320
We don't know who this is.
360
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,720
Ahh.
361
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,953
Oh, she called in the staff.
362
00:09:16,954 --> 00:09:18,287
Is there a problem?
363
00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:20,087
[ Laughter ]
364
00:09:20,088 --> 00:09:22,054
[ Ding! ]
365
00:09:22,088 --> 00:09:22,721
Let's go, buddy.
366
00:09:22,721 --> 00:09:23,221
All right.
367
00:09:23,222 --> 00:09:26,353
It's time to go.
368
00:09:26,354 --> 00:09:29,020
Good luck.
369
00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:30,188
You're trying to beat two
370
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,720
items.
371
00:09:32,721 --> 00:09:34,754
He's going for the women.
372
00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:42,487
[ Ding! ]
373
00:09:42,488 --> 00:09:44,853
[ Muffled laughter ]
374
00:09:44,854 --> 00:09:47,888
Hey, before you do that, just
375
00:09:52,421 --> 00:09:53,121
let's go, buddy.
376
00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:53,621
All right.
377
00:09:53,622 --> 00:09:55,153
It's time to go.
378
00:09:55,154 --> 00:09:56,520
I'm nervous as all hell, man.
379
00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:57,853
You're trying to beat two
380
00:09:57,854 --> 00:10:00,087
items.
381
00:10:00,088 --> 00:10:02,254
He's going for the women.
382
00:10:08,954 --> 00:10:10,120
[ Ding! ]
383
00:10:10,121 --> 00:10:12,587
[ Muffled laughter ]
384
00:10:12,588 --> 00:10:14,120
Hey, before you do that, just
385
00:10:14,121 --> 00:10:15,854
tell me why you're doing it.
386
00:10:18,454 --> 00:10:24,287
You're gonna have to tell us.
387
00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:26,087
Is there a reason this guy is
388
00:10:26,088 --> 00:10:27,220
eating our food?
389
00:10:27,221 --> 00:10:28,987
She's holding him hostage.
390
00:10:28,988 --> 00:10:30,920
He's got a story to tell, but
391
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,687
he's not sharing it, so could
392
00:10:32,688 --> 00:10:34,387
you bring us the dumpling he
393
00:10:34,388 --> 00:10:34,854
ate?
394
00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:35,953
Oh!
395
00:10:35,954 --> 00:10:38,120
Come with me.
396
00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:40,087
Oh, you're done, sal.
397
00:10:40,088 --> 00:10:42,887
Take it easy, buddy.
398
00:10:42,888 --> 00:10:44,720
He's got a napkin.
399
00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:46,987
He's putting the napkin on.
400
00:10:46,988 --> 00:10:49,021
What the hell?
401
00:10:51,288 --> 00:10:55,553
[ Ding! ]
402
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:56,188
[ Ding! ]
403
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,387
He went face-first.
404
00:10:57,388 --> 00:10:58,021
[ Ding! ]
405
00:10:58,021 --> 00:10:58,788
[ Laughter ]
406
00:10:58,789 --> 00:11:01,787
[ Ding! ]
407
00:11:01,788 --> 00:11:03,487
Dude.
408
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:06,487
He just did a chomp-and-run.
409
00:11:06,488 --> 00:11:07,354
[ Ding! ]
410
00:11:07,355 --> 00:11:08,420
[ Laughter ]
411
00:11:08,421 --> 00:11:10,353
He's going for seconds.
412
00:11:10,354 --> 00:11:11,720
Oh, my god.
413
00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:13,253
Unbelievable.
414
00:11:13,254 --> 00:11:14,720
[ Ding! ]
415
00:11:14,721 --> 00:11:16,287
Narrator: Sal really ate it
416
00:11:16,288 --> 00:11:17,887
on that challenge, putting him
417
00:11:17,888 --> 00:11:20,220
in a tie for last.
418
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,221
I like to share food.
419
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,453
No, you like to steal food.
420
00:11:22,454 --> 00:11:23,753
Stealing food is not sharing.
421
00:11:23,754 --> 00:11:24,953
If Murray gets up from the
422
00:11:24,954 --> 00:11:26,253
table and leaves his plate there
423
00:11:26,254 --> 00:11:27,420
and you eat all his food, did
424
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:28,388
Murray share with you?
425
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,388
Well, that's Murray's
426
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:29,854
mistake.
427
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,020
You don't leave an unattended
428
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:32,153
plate of food with a hungry
429
00:11:32,154 --> 00:11:34,787
Italian.
430
00:11:34,788 --> 00:11:36,087
We're at the Jersey gardens
431
00:11:36,088 --> 00:11:36,454
mall.
432
00:11:36,455 --> 00:11:37,787
We'll be Manning an information
433
00:11:37,788 --> 00:11:39,053
booth and have to do what the
434
00:11:39,054 --> 00:11:39,921
other guys tell us.
435
00:11:39,921 --> 00:11:40,921
Q gets a pass. Why?
436
00:11:40,922 --> 00:11:42,153
Would you would trust him to
437
00:11:42,154 --> 00:11:44,620
give you info?
438
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,287
How are you, folks?
439
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,953
Any questions?
440
00:11:47,954 --> 00:11:49,053
Murr, pretend like you caught
441
00:11:49,054 --> 00:11:49,821
this guy shoplifting.
442
00:11:49,821 --> 00:11:50,621
[ Store alarm blaring ]
443
00:11:50,621 --> 00:11:51,188
Wait, wait.
444
00:11:51,189 --> 00:11:53,687
Which... which guy? This guy?
445
00:11:53,688 --> 00:11:55,553
Just keep pointing and
446
00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:56,953
checking your ear.
447
00:11:56,954 --> 00:11:59,253
Him? With the red shirt? Him?
448
00:11:59,254 --> 00:12:00,987
Him, right? Right here?
449
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:01,488
Yes?
450
00:12:01,489 --> 00:12:03,353
Right here, this guy, or no?
451
00:12:03,354 --> 00:12:05,187
He's completely confused.
452
00:12:05,188 --> 00:12:07,753
Him, right?
453
00:12:07,754 --> 00:12:08,987
Him, right?
454
00:12:08,988 --> 00:12:10,220
Take his bags.
455
00:12:10,221 --> 00:12:12,153
Yeah, it's two... two bags,
456
00:12:12,154 --> 00:12:12,954
two bags.
457
00:12:12,954 --> 00:12:13,888
[ Laughter ]
458
00:12:13,888 --> 00:12:14,388
Two.
459
00:12:14,389 --> 00:12:15,687
Yeah.
460
00:12:15,688 --> 00:12:17,220
Yeah, no, he's got the gray
461
00:12:17,221 --> 00:12:17,888
sneakers.
462
00:12:17,888 --> 00:12:18,854
This guy or no?
463
00:12:18,854 --> 00:12:19,288
Ye...
464
00:12:19,289 --> 00:12:20,887
give him the bag and walk
465
00:12:20,888 --> 00:12:21,354
away.
466
00:12:21,354 --> 00:12:22,321
Okay, great.
467
00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:26,320
Have a great day, okay?
468
00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:29,253
He's so confused.
469
00:12:29,254 --> 00:12:29,754
Murr?
470
00:12:29,754 --> 00:12:30,154
Yo.
471
00:12:30,155 --> 00:12:31,553
I want you to get someone and
472
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:32,787
ask them, "can you see this
473
00:12:32,788 --> 00:12:33,654
stain on my pants?"
474
00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:34,820
Guys, do you see the... can
475
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:35,953
you see the stain on my pants?
476
00:12:35,954 --> 00:12:36,954
I spilled something on it
477
00:12:36,954 --> 00:12:37,354
before.
478
00:12:37,354 --> 00:12:37,954
Do you see it?
479
00:12:37,954 --> 00:12:38,321
No.
480
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:39,520
Like, it's not in the shadow
481
00:12:39,521 --> 00:12:40,454
but, like, in the light.
482
00:12:40,454 --> 00:12:41,088
Not at all.
483
00:12:41,089 --> 00:12:42,220
You don't see it? Nothing?
484
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,154
Crab walk, crab walk.
485
00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:44,154
Like, if you see it...
486
00:12:44,155 --> 00:12:47,753
[ Women laughing ]
487
00:12:47,754 --> 00:12:49,020
No, look at it in this light,
488
00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:49,354
too.
489
00:12:49,354 --> 00:12:50,054
Keep going.
490
00:12:50,055 --> 00:12:51,153
Like if you see it...
491
00:12:51,154 --> 00:12:52,387
Like, look, do you see?
492
00:12:52,388 --> 00:12:53,887
It's like... look, see, now I
493
00:12:53,888 --> 00:12:54,421
see it.
494
00:12:54,422 --> 00:12:55,887
Right now you see it, right?
495
00:12:55,888 --> 00:12:57,520
[ Laughing ] There's nothing.
496
00:12:57,521 --> 00:12:58,787
[ Ding! ]
497
00:12:58,788 --> 00:13:00,887
Hi. How are you today?
498
00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:01,953
Hi.
499
00:13:01,954 --> 00:13:03,320
Do you need any information?
500
00:13:03,321 --> 00:13:04,121
I don't know.
501
00:13:04,122 --> 00:13:05,220
I don't trust this lady.
502
00:13:05,221 --> 00:13:06,420
Is a shady deal about to go
503
00:13:06,421 --> 00:13:06,821
down?
504
00:13:06,821 --> 00:13:07,754
Who sent this woman?
505
00:13:07,755 --> 00:13:09,087
Who told you can get... who
506
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:09,621
told you?
507
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,820
"Did Santiago send you?"
508
00:13:10,821 --> 00:13:12,053
Psst!
509
00:13:12,054 --> 00:13:13,587
Did Santiago send you?
510
00:13:13,588 --> 00:13:14,221
Um?
511
00:13:14,222 --> 00:13:15,953
Did Santiago send you?
512
00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:17,653
Are you one of Santiago's
513
00:13:17,654 --> 00:13:18,354
people?
514
00:13:18,354 --> 00:13:19,321
[ Laughter ]
515
00:13:19,322 --> 00:13:20,420
Santiago's?
516
00:13:20,421 --> 00:13:21,920
Are you one of Santiago's
517
00:13:21,921 --> 00:13:22,488
people?
518
00:13:22,489 --> 00:13:24,053
No.
519
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,620
"That bastard keeps sending
520
00:13:25,621 --> 00:13:26,421
people over."
521
00:13:26,422 --> 00:13:28,020
He keeps sending people over
522
00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:28,488
here.
523
00:13:28,489 --> 00:13:29,653
"Here's a dollar."
524
00:13:29,654 --> 00:13:30,720
Here's a dollar.
525
00:13:30,721 --> 00:13:31,488
[ Laughter ]
526
00:13:31,489 --> 00:13:32,953
I'm gonna give you a dollar.
527
00:13:32,954 --> 00:13:34,120
"Okay, here's 20."
528
00:13:34,121 --> 00:13:35,553
All right. You want $20?
529
00:13:35,554 --> 00:13:36,587
[ Laughter ]
530
00:13:36,588 --> 00:13:37,488
Here's a 20.
531
00:13:37,489 --> 00:13:39,253
Now tell Santiago to leave me
532
00:13:39,254 --> 00:13:39,821
alone.
533
00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:40,721
[ Laughter ]
534
00:13:40,722 --> 00:13:42,187
So, sal, bump into people as
535
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:42,954
they walk by.
536
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:44,387
Here he goes. Here he goes.
537
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:50,220
[ Laughter ]
538
00:13:50,221 --> 00:13:55,387
[ Laughter continues ]
539
00:13:55,388 --> 00:13:56,054
Oh!
540
00:13:56,055 --> 00:13:59,387
Ah!
541
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:01,853
Here he goes.
542
00:14:01,854 --> 00:14:07,020
[ Laughter ]
543
00:14:07,021 --> 00:14:08,887
She reversed her course
544
00:14:08,888 --> 00:14:09,854
completely.
545
00:14:09,855 --> 00:14:16,120
[ Laughter ]
546
00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:19,521
[ Laughs ] It's so stupid.
547
00:14:22,454 --> 00:14:23,687
Hey, sal, these people look
548
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:24,054
lost.
549
00:14:24,054 --> 00:14:24,988
Help them out, buddy.
550
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,120
Looking for anything in
551
00:14:26,121 --> 00:14:27,587
particular?
552
00:14:27,588 --> 00:14:28,421
"Can I tell you guys
553
00:14:28,421 --> 00:14:28,888
something?"
554
00:14:28,888 --> 00:14:29,888
Can I tell you something?
555
00:14:29,888 --> 00:14:30,688
"I don't like you."
556
00:14:30,689 --> 00:14:32,553
I... [ Laughs ]
557
00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:36,587
"I don't like you."
558
00:14:36,588 --> 00:14:37,620
Can I tell you guys
559
00:14:37,621 --> 00:14:38,188
something?
560
00:14:38,189 --> 00:14:40,788
I...
561
00:14:44,721 --> 00:14:45,953
hey, sal, these people look
562
00:14:45,954 --> 00:14:46,288
lost.
563
00:14:46,288 --> 00:14:47,154
Help them out, buddy.
564
00:14:47,155 --> 00:14:48,187
Looking for anything in
565
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:48,721
particular?
566
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,388
Not really.
567
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,321
"Can I tell you guys
568
00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:50,854
something?"
569
00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:51,953
Can I tell you something?
570
00:14:51,954 --> 00:14:52,854
"I don't like you."
571
00:14:52,855 --> 00:14:54,753
I... [ Laughs ]
572
00:14:54,754 --> 00:14:58,653
"I don't like you."
573
00:14:58,654 --> 00:14:59,454
Can I tell you guys
574
00:14:59,454 --> 00:14:59,921
something?
575
00:14:59,922 --> 00:15:01,653
I...
576
00:15:01,654 --> 00:15:04,887
I don't like you.
577
00:15:04,888 --> 00:15:06,953
I can't believe he said that.
578
00:15:06,954 --> 00:15:07,954
[ Laughter ]
579
00:15:07,955 --> 00:15:09,453
[ Ding! ]
580
00:15:09,454 --> 00:15:10,088
[ Boy screams ]
581
00:15:10,088 --> 00:15:11,054
What's the Matt, bud?
582
00:15:11,054 --> 00:15:11,654
Yoall righriri
583
00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:12,521
careful on the stairs.
584
00:15:12,521 --> 00:15:12,954
Mommy!
585
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,053
Tell this kid he's gonna be
586
00:15:14,054 --> 00:15:15,087
euthanized if you don't find
587
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,487
your parents.
588
00:15:16,488 --> 00:15:17,787
Careful... you're gonna get
589
00:15:17,788 --> 00:15:19,120
euthanized you don't find your
590
00:15:19,121 --> 00:15:19,554
parents.
591
00:15:19,555 --> 00:15:20,753
You know, you're gonna get
592
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,553
euthanized.
593
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:23,987
"Better find your parents
594
00:15:23,988 --> 00:15:24,488
fast."
595
00:15:24,489 --> 00:15:25,720
Easy, partner, easy.
596
00:15:25,721 --> 00:15:26,753
You got 10 seconds.
597
00:15:26,754 --> 00:15:28,120
Where's your parents, bud?
598
00:15:28,121 --> 00:15:28,854
[ Laughter ]
599
00:15:28,855 --> 00:15:30,387
I'm gonna have to put you down
600
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,787
in 10... 9... 8...
601
00:15:33,788 --> 00:15:35,587
Joe, ask this woman if she's
602
00:15:35,588 --> 00:15:36,820
here for the event.
603
00:15:36,821 --> 00:15:37,987
Oh, excuse me.
604
00:15:37,988 --> 00:15:40,053
You here for the event?
605
00:15:40,054 --> 00:15:42,053
The let Joe gatto touch your
606
00:15:42,054 --> 00:15:42,988
boobs event.
607
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:44,220
Um..
608
00:15:44,221 --> 00:15:45,487
Oh, my god.
609
00:15:45,488 --> 00:15:46,987
[ Clock ticking ]
610
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:47,788
Huh.
611
00:15:47,788 --> 00:15:48,721
The, uh...
612
00:15:48,721 --> 00:15:49,421
Uh...
613
00:15:49,421 --> 00:15:50,421
Say it!
614
00:15:50,422 --> 00:15:51,687
The, uh...
615
00:15:51,688 --> 00:15:53,087
Enjoy yourself event.
616
00:15:53,088 --> 00:15:55,087
[ Laughter ]
617
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:55,721
[ Buzzer ]
618
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:56,421
You suck.
619
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,653
Narrator: Joe racks up
620
00:15:57,654 --> 00:15:59,920
another loss.
621
00:15:59,921 --> 00:16:01,520
Our tastes definitely vary.
622
00:16:01,521 --> 00:16:02,920
Yeah, especially music.
623
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,421
No.
624
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:03,921
No?
625
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:04,488
What?
626
00:16:04,489 --> 00:16:05,953
Yeah, raise your hand if
627
00:16:05,954 --> 00:16:09,153
you've been to a yanni concert.
628
00:16:09,154 --> 00:16:10,253
Raise your hand if you've
629
00:16:10,254 --> 00:16:16,221
been to multiple yanni concerts.
630
00:16:16,254 --> 00:16:17,453
We've returned to the scene
631
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:18,054
of the crime.
632
00:16:18,054 --> 00:16:18,788
That's right.
633
00:16:18,789 --> 00:16:20,020
Once again, we have to go up
634
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,220
to strangers and say, "don't I
635
00:16:21,221 --> 00:16:21,721
know you?"
636
00:16:21,722 --> 00:16:22,887
And the other guys will be
637
00:16:22,888 --> 00:16:24,020
holding these cue cards with
638
00:16:24,021 --> 00:16:25,220
embarrassing details of how we
639
00:16:25,221 --> 00:16:26,387
supposedly "know" the person.
640
00:16:26,388 --> 00:16:27,553
Yeah, the goal is to get a
641
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:28,753
stranger to say that they know
642
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:32,220
you, and if you can't, you lose.
643
00:16:32,221 --> 00:16:33,021
I know you.
644
00:16:33,022 --> 00:16:34,153
Don't I know you?
645
00:16:34,154 --> 00:16:35,221
Yeah, absolutely.
646
00:16:35,254 --> 00:16:37,453
Are you sure? It's sal.
647
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,953
What's up, dude? It's sal.
648
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,053
How's it going?
649
00:16:40,054 --> 00:16:41,254
I know you, right?
650
00:16:41,288 --> 00:16:43,653
Didn't know you.
651
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:44,953
That's the only way you're
652
00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:45,454
gonna do.
653
00:16:45,454 --> 00:16:45,988
Hey, bud.
654
00:16:45,989 --> 00:16:47,020
Hey, dude, I know you.
655
00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:49,753
Were you down... from schlomo's
656
00:16:49,754 --> 00:16:51,387
bar mitzvah?
657
00:16:51,388 --> 00:16:54,720
Remember schlomie's bar mitz?
658
00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:56,553
Yeah... no, his bar... yeah,
659
00:16:56,554 --> 00:16:58,087
schlomo's bar mitzvah.
660
00:16:58,088 --> 00:16:58,921
Uh-huh.
661
00:16:58,922 --> 00:17:00,820
I swallowed a baby pigeon.
662
00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:02,420
Are you sure?
663
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:05,253
Sal from the bar mitzvah.
664
00:17:05,254 --> 00:17:06,287
Your name?
665
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:08,653
Your, uh... your name... I
666
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:10,020
know your name.
667
00:17:10,021 --> 00:17:11,620
Your name is, uh...
668
00:17:11,621 --> 00:17:13,753
Pete.
669
00:17:13,754 --> 00:17:15,253
Padir... I said Pete, Pete,
670
00:17:15,254 --> 00:17:15,721
yeah.
671
00:17:15,722 --> 00:17:16,820
How you been, man?
672
00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:17,821
Good to see you.
673
00:17:17,822 --> 00:17:18,853
Great to see you.
674
00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:20,220
This is unbelievable.
675
00:17:20,221 --> 00:17:21,820
Have you talked to schlomo
676
00:17:21,821 --> 00:17:22,388
lately?
677
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:23,188
[ Laughter ]
678
00:17:23,188 --> 00:17:23,654
No.
679
00:17:23,655 --> 00:17:24,753
Give me a call, man.
680
00:17:24,754 --> 00:17:26,020
He's hugging the guy.
681
00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:27,420
All right, take it easy,
682
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:27,921
padir.
683
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:28,921
He has no idea.
684
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,187
That's how you do it.
685
00:17:30,188 --> 00:17:31,687
I got a face everybody loves.
686
00:17:31,688 --> 00:17:32,321
That's it.
687
00:17:32,322 --> 00:17:33,553
You're unbelievable.
688
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:35,953
Doo, doo, doo, doo.
689
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,087
[ Ding! ]
690
00:17:38,088 --> 00:17:39,353
Oh, what's up, bro?
691
00:17:39,354 --> 00:17:40,453
I'll call you back.
692
00:17:40,454 --> 00:17:41,021
Joe.
693
00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:41,588
Joe?
694
00:17:41,589 --> 00:17:43,688
Joe gatto. You remember me?
695
00:17:43,721 --> 00:17:44,421
No? No?
696
00:17:44,422 --> 00:17:46,287
We met cornhole, Nebraska...
697
00:17:46,288 --> 00:17:48,353
Population 1,500.
698
00:17:48,354 --> 00:17:50,053
Yeah, it was like this summer,
699
00:17:50,054 --> 00:17:53,587
earlier this summer we met.
700
00:17:53,588 --> 00:17:55,687
I was the guy that got molested
701
00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:56,887
by the octopus.
702
00:17:56,888 --> 00:17:57,754
Seriously?
703
00:17:57,755 --> 00:17:59,687
The octopus, all eight arms.
704
00:17:59,688 --> 00:18:01,820
Well, currently I'm allergic to
705
00:18:01,821 --> 00:18:03,087
your bull [bleep]
706
00:18:03,088 --> 00:18:04,987
So I couldn't... I couldn't
707
00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:06,387
really do it, so...
708
00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:11,053
You look good.
709
00:18:11,054 --> 00:18:13,587
[ Buzzer ]
710
00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:17,553
Oh, uh... James.
711
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:18,088
Yes.
712
00:18:18,089 --> 00:18:20,053
I don't remember your name.
713
00:18:20,054 --> 00:18:21,153
I'm so sorry.
714
00:18:21,154 --> 00:18:22,320
Louise?
715
00:18:22,321 --> 00:18:23,387
We met at that party.
716
00:18:23,388 --> 00:18:24,853
I was the guy that fell in the
717
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,053
shark tank at the party,
718
00:18:26,054 --> 00:18:26,621
remember?
719
00:18:26,621 --> 00:18:27,088
No.
720
00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:28,520
But thankfully they weren't
721
00:18:28,521 --> 00:18:29,787
lethal sharks or anything.
722
00:18:29,788 --> 00:18:30,254
No.
723
00:18:30,254 --> 00:18:30,954
You sure?
724
00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:32,487
Anyways, I mean, these days I
725
00:18:32,488 --> 00:18:33,853
just got pimp out deze nuts.
726
00:18:33,854 --> 00:18:35,920
[ Laughter ]
727
00:18:35,921 --> 00:18:37,320
Are you sure you don't remember
728
00:18:37,321 --> 00:18:37,654
me?
729
00:18:37,655 --> 00:18:38,820
You're right, 'cause you'd
730
00:18:38,821 --> 00:18:39,754
remember deze nuts.
731
00:18:39,755 --> 00:18:42,153
You would, right?
732
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:43,353
Dude, dude, dude.
733
00:18:43,354 --> 00:18:44,188
I know you.
734
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,820
I recognize the hat, man.
735
00:18:45,821 --> 00:18:47,753
James.
736
00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:49,653
We met like... we met like two
737
00:18:49,654 --> 00:18:51,453
months ago in that meth lab.
738
00:18:51,454 --> 00:18:52,587
You remember me?
739
00:18:52,588 --> 00:18:54,387
I was the guy that maced the
740
00:18:54,388 --> 00:18:55,687
mall cop, remember?
741
00:18:55,688 --> 00:18:57,287
You maced a mall cop?
742
00:18:57,288 --> 00:18:58,320
Yeah, yeah.
743
00:18:58,321 --> 00:18:59,620
You don't remember?
744
00:18:59,621 --> 00:19:00,221
Oh!
745
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,387
Nice to see you.
746
00:19:01,388 --> 00:19:02,553
Ohh! Come on.
747
00:19:02,554 --> 00:19:04,353
Man, he maced a mall cop.
748
00:19:04,354 --> 00:19:05,687
Good to see you.
749
00:19:05,688 --> 00:19:07,887
[ Ding! ]
750
00:19:07,888 --> 00:19:12,587
Q, here we go.
751
00:19:12,588 --> 00:19:14,587
Do I... do I know you?
752
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,287
My name's Brian.
753
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:16,954
Joel.
754
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:19,353
Your cousin... I'm dating your
755
00:19:19,354 --> 00:19:21,287
cousin.
756
00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:22,453
I swear to god.
757
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,553
I fist-fought that Turkish hand
758
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:25,188
model.
759
00:19:25,188 --> 00:19:26,188
[ Laughter ]
760
00:19:26,189 --> 00:19:30,820
I brought your cousin, Sandra.
761
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:32,520
Come on, now, like a third
762
00:19:32,521 --> 00:19:33,221
cousin?
763
00:19:33,222 --> 00:19:36,020
[ Laughter ]
764
00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:37,720
I teach Swahili to hot chicks
765
00:19:37,721 --> 00:19:38,987
now.
766
00:19:38,988 --> 00:19:43,053
That's how I met your cousin.
767
00:19:43,054 --> 00:19:46,087
We met that time.
768
00:19:46,088 --> 00:19:47,520
At that place, that place that
769
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,387
we met.
770
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:52,287
We met. I guess I'm wrong.
771
00:19:52,288 --> 00:19:53,553
All right.
772
00:19:53,554 --> 00:19:54,820
He don't know you.
773
00:19:54,821 --> 00:19:56,253
I'm giving it my all.
774
00:19:56,254 --> 00:19:57,953
Your all's just clearly not
775
00:19:57,954 --> 00:19:58,788
good enough.
776
00:19:58,788 --> 00:19:59,521
[ Buzzer ]
777
00:19:59,522 --> 00:20:01,053
Narrator: You know Joe?
778
00:20:01,054 --> 00:20:02,520
He's tonight's big loser.
779
00:20:02,521 --> 00:20:04,187
Since you did such a great
780
00:20:04,188 --> 00:20:05,953
job today, we're gonna take you
781
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:06,888
to the movies.
782
00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:08,120
Here you go, bud.
783
00:20:08,121 --> 00:20:09,720
You're gonna go in there into a
784
00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:11,120
packed movie theater, stop
785
00:20:11,121 --> 00:20:12,653
everything, stand up, and let
786
00:20:12,654 --> 00:20:13,953
everyone know you had an
787
00:20:13,954 --> 00:20:15,187
accident in your pants.
788
00:20:15,188 --> 00:20:16,753
So, I go in there, stand up
789
00:20:16,754 --> 00:20:18,020
in a crowded theater...
790
00:20:18,021 --> 00:20:18,588
Yeah.
791
00:20:18,588 --> 00:20:19,188
Yeah.
792
00:20:19,189 --> 00:20:20,653
I mean, stop the presses.
793
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,553
[ Laughter ]
794
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,088
Go ahead.
795
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,287
This is what we're doing now?
796
00:20:24,288 --> 00:20:25,420
Make sure you shut off your
797
00:20:25,421 --> 00:20:26,421
pager when you're in there,
798
00:20:26,421 --> 00:20:26,788
buddy.
799
00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:30,853
Don't interrupt the movie.
800
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:31,854
All right, here we go.
801
00:20:31,854 --> 00:20:32,621
Go, here we go.
802
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:33,820
There he goes. Here he goes.
803
00:20:33,821 --> 00:20:35,153
Excuse me, ladies and
804
00:20:35,154 --> 00:20:35,854
gentlemen.
805
00:20:35,855 --> 00:20:37,353
My apologies to everybody in
806
00:20:37,354 --> 00:20:39,988
this area.
807
00:20:43,688 --> 00:20:45,387
You're gonna go in there into
808
00:20:45,388 --> 00:20:46,853
a packed movie theater, stop
809
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,353
everything, stand up, and let
810
00:20:48,354 --> 00:20:49,653
everyone know you had an
811
00:20:49,654 --> 00:20:50,887
accident in your pants.
812
00:20:50,888 --> 00:20:54,188
[ Laughter ]
813
00:20:54,221 --> 00:20:55,320
[ Sighs ] All right.
814
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:55,921
Here we go.
815
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:56,821
Go, here we go.
816
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,220
There he goes. Here he goes.
817
00:20:58,221 --> 00:20:59,720
Excuse me, ladies and
818
00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:01,353
gentlemen.
819
00:21:01,354 --> 00:21:03,620
There's gonna be a smell around
820
00:21:03,621 --> 00:21:04,953
here.
821
00:21:04,954 --> 00:21:08,553
I just farted, like, bad.
822
00:21:08,554 --> 00:21:10,153
My apologies to everybody in
823
00:21:10,154 --> 00:21:11,820
this area, definitely [bleep]
824
00:21:11,821 --> 00:21:13,553
Myself a bit.
825
00:21:13,554 --> 00:21:15,453
My apologies.
826
00:21:15,454 --> 00:21:18,153
[ Laughter ]
827
00:21:18,154 --> 00:21:21,387
Disculpe, las damas y
828
00:21:21,388 --> 00:21:22,054
caballeros.
829
00:21:22,055 --> 00:21:24,453
He's speaking Spanish.
830
00:21:24,454 --> 00:21:25,887
What?
831
00:21:25,888 --> 00:21:27,053
Uh...
832
00:21:27,054 --> 00:21:30,020
[ Speaking Spanish ]
833
00:21:30,021 --> 00:21:31,853
Which roughly translates to "i
834
00:21:31,854 --> 00:21:32,987
[bleep] Myself."
835
00:21:32,988 --> 00:21:34,720
This has become a situation.
836
00:21:34,721 --> 00:21:37,087
I'm gonna excuse myself.
837
00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:38,353
Pardon me, ladies.
838
00:21:38,354 --> 00:21:39,288
[ Laughter ]
839
00:21:39,289 --> 00:21:40,888
Different theater, ma'am,
840
00:21:40,921 --> 00:21:43,120
different theater.
841
00:21:43,121 --> 00:21:43,921
Hola, amigos.Ater.
842
00:21:43,922 --> 00:21:45,320
What was that, Spanish?
843
00:21:45,321 --> 00:21:46,853
No, I let people know what
844
00:21:46,854 --> 00:21:50,354
was happening around them.
45976
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