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Narrator: Coming up...
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You got to see it.
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Narrator: The guys make
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Joe play footsie.
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Seriously?
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Cross over to your seat over
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her.
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Narrator: Sal becomes the
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butt of the joke.
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His ass is right in her face.
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Narrator: And q wets himself.
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I got shampoo in my eye.
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Are you kidding me?
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Narrator: Plus tonight's big
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loser has to let 'er rip.
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[ Fart ]
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What's wrong with you?
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We're back in
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Columbus circle, going up to
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complete strangers, asking,
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"don't I know you?"
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The other guys will be
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holding up these cue cards with
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embarrassing details of how we
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supposedly know the person.
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The goal is for us to get a
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stranger to admit that they know
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us.
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And if we can't, we lose.
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I know you, right?
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Ugh!
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Dude, dude, it's James.
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What's up, man?
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You don't remember me?
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Look carefully, man.
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It was at Denzel Washington's
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son's sweet 16, remember?
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[ Laughter ]
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Are you sure? Look carefully.
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I was the guy that couldn't get
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out of the spanx.
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They were so tight, those spanx,
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I couldn't get out of them.
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You don't remember me, man?
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James?
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Well, anyways, I got a sister
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named Larry.
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[ Laughter ]
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Yeah, it's crazy.
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Think hard, dude.
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I'm telling you, we know each
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other.
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No.
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You don't remember me?
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[ Laughter ]
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Dude, you're killing me!
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Nice try, sir, but no dice.
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[ Buzzer ]
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And then I says, "that's not
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how hansel killed the witch.
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It was... "hold on one second,
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ma.
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I'm sorry. I forget your name.
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Brian.
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Yeah, we met... we met at that
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redneck wedding.
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I haven't been to a redneck
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wedding that I know of.
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Brian.
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I'm the... the donkey... I work
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on the... on the... donkey
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proctologist.
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[ Laughter ]
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The donkey proctologist Brian.
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Well, I run a charity now for
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underprivileged male models.
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The p.O.W. Camp?
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No.
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I mean, I don't start no ish
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so there won't be no ish.
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I know you. I know you.
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Ike Turner's going-away party.
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Sorry.
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I have no idea what you're
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talking about.
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None of this is ringing a
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bell?
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Don't I know you?
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Yeah. Brian.
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I think I know you.
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From the holiday inn hot tub.
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Remember the hot tub party at
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the holiday inn?
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No?
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I'm the... I'm the guy... i'm
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addicted to rainbows.
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I love rainbows.
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I'm addicted to them.
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I can't get enough of them.
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Okay.'t get enough of them.
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[ Laughs ]
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Oh, well, I thought...
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Currently, currently I mean,
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i-i-i-i... I don't know what to
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say.
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All right. Okay.
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Well, it was nice meeting you
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today.
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All right. That's very good.
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Take it... take it easy.
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You wipe front to back?
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I know.
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I got "I wipe front to back."
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I'm not saying that.
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[ Buzzer ]
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[ Laughter ]
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Oh, hey, man, I'll call you
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back.
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Joe. How's it going?
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Yeah, you... you don't know me?
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You don't remember me?
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No.
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Yeah, seriously.
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No.
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No, I was the guy from
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gerbil fest.
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Gerbil fest, yeah.
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Seriously?
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No, it was like a couple months
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ago.
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I had the... I wrestled that
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Mexican.
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[ Laughter ]
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Seriously?
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From gerbil fest?
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I moisturize mostly now with
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whale semen.
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[ Laughter ]
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Only during... [ Laughs ]
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If that's not gonna ring a bell,
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I don't know what is.
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I go down next Thursday.
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Oh, hey.
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Excuse me. Joe.
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No, I'm Joe.
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You don't remember?
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Oh, my god.
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They're right in front of us.
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I don't look familiar?
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Oh, god.
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N... I... [ Laughs ]
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No?
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I was the guy that got the handy
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on the Eiffel Tower.
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No?
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I got punched by Oprah Winfrey.
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No.
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[ Laughs ] Not at all?
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My grand-grandfather was a
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racehorse.
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[ Laughter ]
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No? Nothing?
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You'd remember a guy whose
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great-grandfather was a
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racehorse.
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[ Buzzer ]
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Hijinks continue. Here we go.
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Hey, don't I know you?
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What's up? I'm sal.
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I know you.
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We met... where'd we meet?
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Fat Mike's barbecue.
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Just this past summer.
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Oh, god.
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I slapped that damn nun in the
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face.
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[ Laughter ]
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She was at the party.
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She was just so annoying.
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We were all fooling around.
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Oh, man.
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You don't remember me?
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I'm the guy who...
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Smuggles cocaine in my butt.
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Are you sure? Sal.
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What's your name?
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Yeah! Ryan!
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I swear... Ryan!
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No, he's not agreeing that he
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knows him.
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Great to see you, man.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, so fat Mike has that about
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every three months now.
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He's gonna have a winter party,
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too.
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He's talking about fat Mike.
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He's still doing it.
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Yeah, you got to definitely come
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by.
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All right, yeah.
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Yeah, yeah.
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You remember me, right, Ryan?
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Yeah! Ryan!
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[ All groan ]
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Sometimes I feel like it's just
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too easy.
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[ Ding! ]
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Hey, it's me!
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Yeah!
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Narrator: Sal is the only one
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anyone will admit to knowing,
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making it a three-way tie on the
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loser board.
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Sal, you were very loose with
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your term "best friend."
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I say friend, good friend,
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very good friend, one of my best
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friends.
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Those are my categories.
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What am I?
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You're one of my best
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friends.
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I am?
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Yeah.
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Thank you.
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[ Laughter ]
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We are taking over
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ena's driving school, about to
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teach these students the rules
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of the road.
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Well, badly... these students
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have no idea what they're in
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for.
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Didn't you fail your driver's
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test like three times?
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Four.
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[ Laughter ]
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Four times. Wait a second.
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Hi. I'm James.
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What's your name?
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Amanda.
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Amanda? So nice to meet you.
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Have you driven before?
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You've literally never driven a
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car before?
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No.
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She has no idea how to drive?
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Murray's has got to keep his
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wits about him.
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Yeah, just keep going down.
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There you go.
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Squeeze.
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Squeeze.
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Put your foot on the brake.
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Take your foot off the brake.
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Whoa! Hold on a [bleep] second!
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[ Laughter ]
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What... you know nothing about
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driving.
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Murray is scared for his life
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right now.
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Reverse. God almighty.
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[ Laughter ]
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James, start saying "hail
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Mary" under your breath.
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Hail Mary, mother of god,
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pray for our sins now and at the
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hour of our death.
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Amen.
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Though I walk through the valley
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of the shadow of death, I shall
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fear no evil.
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He's praying for real.
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Look at him.
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Oh, god, we're going over a
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thing.
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[ Laughter ]
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He's cracking up at the...
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oh, my god.
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Was... was that a body?
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Are you here for me?
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Yes.
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James. How are you?
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Notice the windshield's
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dirty.
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Oh, this one's pretty dirty.
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Now get up on the car and
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wipe it with your shirt.
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[ Grunts ]
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I'm just gonna clean this.
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[ Laughter ]
293
00:06:34,621 --> 00:06:36,387
This car is filthy.
294
00:06:36,388 --> 00:06:38,087
Wow.
295
00:06:38,088 --> 00:06:40,320
Okay, let's rock and roll.
296
00:06:40,321 --> 00:06:42,720
[ Laughter ]
297
00:06:42,721 --> 00:06:44,020
"Do you plan on driving when
298
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,053
you're on your period?"
299
00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:47,387
[ Laughs ]
300
00:06:47,388 --> 00:06:48,288
That's a good one.
301
00:06:48,289 --> 00:06:51,087
"Do you plan on driving when
302
00:06:51,088 --> 00:06:54,521
you're on your period?"
303
00:06:58,488 --> 00:06:59,288
Hello.
304
00:06:59,289 --> 00:07:01,020
I'm your driving instructor.
305
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,253
Let's rock and roll.
306
00:07:03,254 --> 00:07:04,553
"Do you plan on driving when
307
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,587
you're on your period?"
308
00:07:05,588 --> 00:07:07,353
[ Laughs ]
309
00:07:07,354 --> 00:07:08,354
That's a good one.
310
00:07:08,355 --> 00:07:11,153
"Do you plan on driving when
311
00:07:11,154 --> 00:07:12,353
you're on your period?"
312
00:07:12,354 --> 00:07:13,720
Say it. Say it!
313
00:07:13,721 --> 00:07:15,953
Do you plan on driving...
314
00:07:15,954 --> 00:07:17,187
Like, full...
315
00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:17,988
On the highway?
316
00:07:17,988 --> 00:07:18,588
[ Buzzer ]
317
00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,120
[ Laughter ]
318
00:07:20,121 --> 00:07:21,054
What's your name?
319
00:07:21,054 --> 00:07:21,654
Maurice.
320
00:07:21,654 --> 00:07:22,421
Maurice. Joe.
321
00:07:22,422 --> 00:07:23,620
Pleased to meet you, buddy.
322
00:07:23,621 --> 00:07:24,753
Why don't you hop into the
323
00:07:24,754 --> 00:07:27,287
driver's seat there?
324
00:07:27,288 --> 00:07:27,921
All right.
325
00:07:27,922 --> 00:07:29,320
First thing... always lock the
326
00:07:29,321 --> 00:07:30,021
seat belts.
327
00:07:30,022 --> 00:07:31,387
Joe, stop him right now.
328
00:07:31,388 --> 00:07:32,453
Tell him he's a pro.
329
00:07:32,454 --> 00:07:33,953
He's already passed the class.
330
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,520
I have never, in all my years
331
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:37,020
of teaching, had someone learn
332
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:37,654
this fast.
333
00:07:37,654 --> 00:07:38,554
We're done here.
334
00:07:38,555 --> 00:07:40,320
All right, man. Good work.
335
00:07:40,321 --> 00:07:46,287
[ Laughter ]
336
00:07:46,288 --> 00:07:47,021
Just kidding.
337
00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:47,754
[ Laughter ]
338
00:07:47,755 --> 00:07:48,987
I want you to take him
339
00:07:48,988 --> 00:07:50,520
through some emergency training.
340
00:07:50,521 --> 00:07:51,953
Emergency training is very
341
00:07:51,954 --> 00:07:52,554
important.
342
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,853
See what happens if the
343
00:07:53,854 --> 00:07:55,320
person in the passenger's seat
344
00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:56,021
gives birth.
345
00:07:56,021 --> 00:07:56,721
[ Laughter ]
346
00:07:56,722 --> 00:07:58,053
Let's say I'm a pregnant
347
00:07:58,054 --> 00:07:59,520
woman and I'm having the baby.
348
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,953
Oh! Here we go. Oh! All right.
349
00:08:00,954 --> 00:08:01,688
[ Laughter ]
350
00:08:01,688 --> 00:08:02,421
Go ahead. Go.
351
00:08:02,422 --> 00:08:03,687
You have to get me to the
352
00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:04,254
hospital.
353
00:08:04,255 --> 00:08:05,287
[ Breathing rapidly ]
354
00:08:05,288 --> 00:08:06,787
Oh! It's crowning! Oh!
355
00:08:06,788 --> 00:08:08,920
The head is popping out of here!
356
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,787
Oh, my god! It's coming out!
357
00:08:10,788 --> 00:08:11,788
[ Laughter ]
358
00:08:11,788 --> 00:08:12,288
Aah!
359
00:08:12,289 --> 00:08:14,187
Reach over and cut the cord.
360
00:08:14,188 --> 00:08:16,987
Go ahead. Snip it. Snip it.
361
00:08:16,988 --> 00:08:18,320
"Oh, my god! It's twins!"
362
00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:19,054
Oh [bleep]
363
00:08:19,054 --> 00:08:19,688
It's twins.
364
00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:21,020
Park it... throw it in park.
365
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,520
I got to give birth right in the
366
00:08:22,521 --> 00:08:23,221
parking lot.
367
00:08:23,221 --> 00:08:23,988
Grab the head.
368
00:08:23,988 --> 00:08:24,888
Aah!
369
00:08:24,889 --> 00:08:27,053
[ Ding! ]
370
00:08:27,054 --> 00:08:27,888
What's your name?
371
00:08:27,888 --> 00:08:28,354
Lolee.
372
00:08:28,354 --> 00:08:28,788
Lolee?
373
00:08:28,788 --> 00:08:29,188
Yes.
374
00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:30,253
Nice to meet you, lolee.
375
00:08:30,254 --> 00:08:31,453
I'm gonna have you sit in there.
376
00:08:31,454 --> 00:08:32,653
Cross over to your seat over
377
00:08:32,654 --> 00:08:34,553
her.
378
00:08:34,554 --> 00:08:36,220
I'm gonna go in this seat
379
00:08:36,221 --> 00:08:36,954
over here.
380
00:08:36,955 --> 00:08:38,020
He's doing it!
381
00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:39,887
[ Laughter ]
382
00:08:39,888 --> 00:08:41,520
[ Horn blaring ]
383
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:45,553
His ass is right in her face.
384
00:08:45,554 --> 00:08:48,987
[ Laughter ]
385
00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:52,020
Let's turn these wipers off.
386
00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:53,153
Reach down next to your seat.
387
00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:56,021
I hid something there for you.
388
00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:00,053
Take a celebratory fling.
389
00:09:00,054 --> 00:09:02,953
[ Laughter ]
390
00:09:02,954 --> 00:09:04,220
Now pour one out for your homies
391
00:09:04,221 --> 00:09:05,820
that passed away.
392
00:09:05,821 --> 00:09:07,387
Hold on.
393
00:09:07,388 --> 00:09:08,388
I just got to pour some out
394
00:09:08,389 --> 00:09:11,487
for... for biggie.
395
00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:12,720
Greatest rapper of all time.
396
00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:15,120
March 9th. One love.
397
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,721
[ Ding! ]
398
00:09:16,754 --> 00:09:18,421
Go ahead. Pull on out.
399
00:09:18,454 --> 00:09:19,487
"I need you to promise me
400
00:09:19,488 --> 00:09:19,988
something."
401
00:09:19,988 --> 00:09:20,954
I need you to promise me
402
00:09:20,954 --> 00:09:21,421
something.
403
00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:22,520
"If you ever have more than
404
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:23,488
one female passenger in the
405
00:09:23,488 --> 00:09:23,888
car..."
406
00:09:23,889 --> 00:09:24,920
If you ever have more than
407
00:09:24,921 --> 00:09:25,921
one female passenger in the
408
00:09:25,921 --> 00:09:26,254
car...
409
00:09:26,255 --> 00:09:27,353
"i need you to head over
410
00:09:27,354 --> 00:09:27,888
to my place."
411
00:09:27,889 --> 00:09:28,987
i need you to bring that
412
00:09:28,988 --> 00:09:29,854
party over to my place.
413
00:09:29,855 --> 00:09:31,853
[ Tires screech ]
414
00:09:31,854 --> 00:09:32,688
What's your name?
415
00:09:32,688 --> 00:09:33,288
Wesley.
416
00:09:33,288 --> 00:09:34,288
Wesley, I'm Brian.
417
00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:35,620
Q, tell him, "safe driving is
418
00:09:35,621 --> 00:09:36,388
like safe sex."
419
00:09:36,389 --> 00:09:37,553
Put on that seat belt.
420
00:09:37,554 --> 00:09:39,120
Look at me.
421
00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:41,087
Seat belt is the condom of the
422
00:09:41,088 --> 00:09:41,988
automobile.
423
00:09:41,988 --> 00:09:42,888
Wrap it up.
424
00:09:42,888 --> 00:09:43,688
[ Laughter ]
425
00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:45,187
"Little tidbit for you."
426
00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:46,220
Little tidbit.
427
00:09:46,221 --> 00:09:46,754
Huh?
428
00:09:46,755 --> 00:09:48,353
"I can parallel park using
429
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:50,887
just my boner."
430
00:09:50,888 --> 00:09:52,453
One more thing... they're
431
00:09:52,454 --> 00:09:54,187
not gonna test you on this, but
432
00:09:54,188 --> 00:09:55,853
I can parallel park just using
433
00:09:55,854 --> 00:09:56,788
my boner.
434
00:09:56,789 --> 00:09:58,487
Let's get this thing in drive.
435
00:09:58,488 --> 00:10:00,454
[ Ding! ]
436
00:10:00,488 --> 00:10:03,788
James loses, period.
437
00:10:03,821 --> 00:10:05,220
Narrator: That loss drives
438
00:10:05,221 --> 00:10:06,653
murr straight to the bottom of
439
00:10:06,654 --> 00:10:08,453
the pack.
440
00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:09,653
Traveling with murr is like
441
00:10:09,654 --> 00:10:10,621
traveling with a parent.
442
00:10:10,622 --> 00:10:11,753
He yells at you all the time
443
00:10:11,754 --> 00:10:12,354
about things.
444
00:10:12,354 --> 00:10:12,888
He does.
445
00:10:12,889 --> 00:10:14,120
I'll never forget the time that
446
00:10:14,121 --> 00:10:15,121
we were in San Francisco.
447
00:10:15,122 --> 00:10:16,287
He stuck toilet paper in his
448
00:10:16,288 --> 00:10:17,520
ears and then put big headphones
449
00:10:17,521 --> 00:10:18,154
over his ears.
450
00:10:18,155 --> 00:10:19,553
Sal snores really loud.
451
00:10:19,554 --> 00:10:21,120
And then he couldn't lay on
452
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,653
his side, so he went to sleep
453
00:10:22,654 --> 00:10:23,321
like this.
454
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:24,520
You looked like a dead
455
00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:28,520
air-traffic controller.
456
00:10:28,521 --> 00:10:29,687
Nowadays, people text about
457
00:10:29,688 --> 00:10:30,753
anything and everything.
458
00:10:30,754 --> 00:10:32,087
"Hey, could you pick up some
459
00:10:32,088 --> 00:10:32,488
milk?"
460
00:10:32,489 --> 00:10:34,554
"Sorry your mom died."
461
00:10:34,588 --> 00:10:35,920
We're gonna be sitting in a
462
00:10:35,921 --> 00:10:37,320
quiet waiting room, and we have
463
00:10:37,321 --> 00:10:38,687
to send each other embarrassing
464
00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:39,121
texts.
465
00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:40,553
No matter how humiliating the
466
00:10:40,554 --> 00:10:41,854
text is, you've got to read it
467
00:10:41,888 --> 00:10:45,353
out loud to a total stranger.
468
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:45,921
Q's up.
469
00:10:45,922 --> 00:10:46,987
Here we go, q.
470
00:10:46,988 --> 00:10:48,653
Here we go, buddy.
471
00:10:48,654 --> 00:10:50,688
[ Cellphone beeps ]
472
00:10:55,954 --> 00:10:57,320
No.
473
00:10:57,321 --> 00:11:03,053
"Quarantine was up yesterday."
474
00:11:03,054 --> 00:11:05,853
[ Coughs ]
475
00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:09,687
He's covering his mouth.
476
00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:10,820
[ Cellphone beeps ]
477
00:11:10,821 --> 00:11:14,587
What the [bleep] is that?
478
00:11:14,588 --> 00:11:16,920
That's what we just sent q.
479
00:11:16,921 --> 00:11:18,921
[ Cellphone beeps ]
480
00:11:25,321 --> 00:11:26,520
He's fleeing!
481
00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,020
He's leaving the room!
482
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:28,954
[ Laughter ]
483
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,788
[ Ding! ]
484
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:36,388
Send.
485
00:11:36,389 --> 00:11:38,587
[ Cellphone beeps ]
486
00:11:38,588 --> 00:11:41,387
You've got to be kidding me.
487
00:11:41,388 --> 00:11:43,053
Oh, my god.
488
00:11:43,054 --> 00:11:44,120
My friend just texted me, "will
489
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:46,520
you set me up with your mother?"
490
00:11:46,521 --> 00:11:47,521
Is that ridiculous?
491
00:11:47,522 --> 00:11:48,953
It's like one of my childhood
492
00:11:48,954 --> 00:11:49,721
best friends.
493
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:51,020
What is wrong with him?
494
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:51,654
I know.
495
00:11:51,655 --> 00:11:53,188
You don't ask someone to hook
496
00:11:53,221 --> 00:11:57,753
you up with their mother.
497
00:11:57,754 --> 00:11:58,288
What?! th their mother.
498
00:11:58,288 --> 00:11:59,088
"You're supposed to be my
499
00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,921
best friend."
500
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:01,954
[ Cellphone beeps ]
501
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,453
"I didn't get mad when you poked
502
00:12:04,454 --> 00:12:08,120
my brother."
503
00:12:08,121 --> 00:12:08,488
What?
504
00:12:08,489 --> 00:12:09,720
What, did you have sex with
505
00:12:09,721 --> 00:12:10,321
his brother?
506
00:12:10,322 --> 00:12:12,387
I guess so.
507
00:12:12,388 --> 00:12:13,254
That was college.
508
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:13,988
Yeah, yeah.
509
00:12:13,988 --> 00:12:14,888
College? Really?
510
00:12:14,889 --> 00:12:16,253
That was just something that
511
00:12:16,254 --> 00:12:17,221
happened real quick.
512
00:12:17,222 --> 00:12:19,121
He said it was last week.
513
00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:23,220
What?
514
00:12:23,221 --> 00:12:24,420
[ Cellphone beeps ]
515
00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:25,088
Oh, god.
516
00:12:25,089 --> 00:12:26,153
Yeah... no, I'm not.
517
00:12:26,154 --> 00:12:27,587
Yeah, the damage is done.
518
00:12:27,588 --> 00:12:29,021
The damage has been done.
519
00:12:29,054 --> 00:12:30,620
[ Buzzer ]
520
00:12:30,621 --> 00:12:32,387
Whew.
521
00:12:32,388 --> 00:12:35,453
All right, guys. Joe's in.
522
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:38,120
[ Cellphone beeps ]
523
00:12:38,121 --> 00:12:40,188
Got a new text.
524
00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:45,720
From Sandra.
525
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:46,288
What?
526
00:12:46,289 --> 00:12:48,020
That's my girl who just broke
527
00:12:48,021 --> 00:12:49,587
up with me 'cause I have too
528
00:12:49,588 --> 00:12:51,653
many toes.
529
00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:52,588
Kind of a shallow reason.
530
00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:53,321
[ Cellphone beeps ]
531
00:12:53,322 --> 00:12:55,321
Oh, and now this.
532
00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:00,987
That's what really upset her,
533
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,520
because she has a foot fetish,
534
00:13:02,521 --> 00:13:04,053
and I want to get the 11th man
535
00:13:04,054 --> 00:13:04,421
in.
536
00:13:04,422 --> 00:13:05,787
I feel like, you know, the
537
00:13:05,788 --> 00:13:06,654
strong 10.
538
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,654
[ Cellphone beeps ]
539
00:13:14,888 --> 00:13:15,854
Take your shoe off.
540
00:13:15,854 --> 00:13:16,721
Take your shoe off.
541
00:13:16,722 --> 00:13:17,953
Do it. Take your shoe off.
542
00:13:17,954 --> 00:13:19,020
He's trying not to laugh
543
00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:19,821
right now... look.
544
00:13:19,822 --> 00:13:22,588
You got to see it.
545
00:13:28,588 --> 00:13:30,653
[ Cellphone beeps ]
546
00:13:30,654 --> 00:13:32,588
Got a new text.
547
00:13:34,621 --> 00:13:37,153
From Sandra.
548
00:13:37,154 --> 00:13:38,620
Kind of a shallow reason to dump
549
00:13:38,621 --> 00:13:39,254
somebody.
550
00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:41,221
Oh, and now this.
551
00:13:46,288 --> 00:13:47,453
Take your shoe off.
552
00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:48,454
Take your shoe off.
553
00:13:48,455 --> 00:13:49,920
Do it. Take your shoe off.
554
00:13:49,921 --> 00:13:51,320
He's trying not to laugh
555
00:13:51,321 --> 00:13:53,020
right now... look.
556
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:56,120
[ Laughter ]
557
00:13:56,121 --> 00:13:57,953
You got to look at th... you
558
00:13:57,954 --> 00:13:58,921
got to see it.
559
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,187
[ Laughter ]
560
00:14:00,188 --> 00:14:02,054
Just look right.
561
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,654
[ Ding! ]
562
00:14:10,021 --> 00:14:11,253
[ Cellphone beeps ]
563
00:14:11,254 --> 00:14:13,687
New text.
564
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:15,953
I just got a crazy message.
565
00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:18,021
It's my uncle.
566
00:14:20,421 --> 00:14:22,320
[ Scoffs ]
567
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:23,753
He's been staying at my
568
00:14:23,754 --> 00:14:24,254
place.
569
00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:24,821
Yeah.
570
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,487
And, you know, when I bring
571
00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:27,321
chicks over...
572
00:14:27,322 --> 00:14:28,720
Now uncle clem is living with
573
00:14:28,721 --> 00:14:29,054
me.
574
00:14:29,055 --> 00:14:30,553
I totally forgot to take it out.
575
00:14:30,554 --> 00:14:32,087
[ Cellphone beeps ]
576
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,153
Oh my [bleep]
577
00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:34,154
Oh, my god.
578
00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:36,188
Oh, no.
579
00:14:43,788 --> 00:14:45,253
There's no way to escape this
580
00:14:45,254 --> 00:14:45,654
now.
581
00:14:45,654 --> 00:14:46,654
We got him boxed in.
582
00:14:46,654 --> 00:14:47,621
[ Cellphone beeps ]
583
00:14:47,622 --> 00:14:49,053
All right, let's see what he
584
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,153
wants.
585
00:14:50,154 --> 00:14:55,220
So, he just wrote back...
586
00:14:55,221 --> 00:14:57,588
[ Laughter ]
587
00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:08,153
[ Laughter ]
588
00:15:08,154 --> 00:15:10,220
[ Ding! ]
589
00:15:10,221 --> 00:15:10,988
[ Cellphone beeps ]
590
00:15:10,989 --> 00:15:12,653
Oh. "Sal is a big fat loser."
591
00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:14,153
Oh, you should write back,
592
00:15:14,154 --> 00:15:15,853
"yes, he is."
593
00:15:15,854 --> 00:15:17,253
Narrator: The guys had sal's
594
00:15:17,254 --> 00:15:18,687
number on that one, but murr is
595
00:15:18,688 --> 00:15:20,053
still in the lead on the loser
596
00:15:20,054 --> 00:15:22,687
board.
597
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,020
Today you threatened to
598
00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:25,353
unfriend me electronically.
599
00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:25,954
I did.
600
00:15:25,954 --> 00:15:26,854
Who does that?
601
00:15:26,855 --> 00:15:28,287
You stepped out of line in
602
00:15:28,288 --> 00:15:28,888
reality.
603
00:15:28,889 --> 00:15:30,153
You needed to be punished
604
00:15:30,154 --> 00:15:30,654
online.
605
00:15:30,655 --> 00:15:31,953
That's a real punishment,
606
00:15:31,954 --> 00:15:32,354
sal.
607
00:15:32,355 --> 00:15:33,687
You can't get his twice-a-day
608
00:15:33,688 --> 00:15:35,187
updates on what he's wearing and
609
00:15:35,188 --> 00:15:36,620
who just said hi to him in the
610
00:15:36,621 --> 00:15:37,021
mall.
611
00:15:37,022 --> 00:15:38,520
I'll tell you, I wish I could
612
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:39,553
unfriend you in life.
613
00:15:39,554 --> 00:15:42,788
[ Laughter ]
614
00:15:42,821 --> 00:15:44,053
We're at an upscale salon
615
00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:44,488
today.
616
00:15:44,489 --> 00:15:45,753
We'll be playing shampoo boys.
617
00:15:45,754 --> 00:15:47,153
That's right, and we're gonna
618
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:48,420
be wearing an earpiece, and we
619
00:15:48,421 --> 00:15:49,720
have to do and say whatever the
620
00:15:49,721 --> 00:15:50,721
other guys tell us to.
621
00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:51,688
If you refuse, you
622
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:54,520
"shamplose."
623
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,820
I can't believe I'm gonna
624
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:56,621
have to do this.
625
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,953
I really don't like touching
626
00:15:57,954 --> 00:15:58,454
people.
627
00:15:58,454 --> 00:15:59,388
And this is sal.
628
00:15:59,389 --> 00:16:00,687
He's gonna take care of you.
629
00:16:00,688 --> 00:16:01,521
Hi. I'm sal.
630
00:16:01,521 --> 00:16:02,354
What's your name?
631
00:16:02,354 --> 00:16:02,921
Cindy.
632
00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:04,187
Cindy, nice to meet you.
633
00:16:04,188 --> 00:16:05,054
There you go.
634
00:16:05,055 --> 00:16:06,220
Now just lean back.
635
00:16:06,221 --> 00:16:07,853
All right, sal, make up a
636
00:16:07,854 --> 00:16:11,121
song and sing it like a girl.
637
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:12,320
[ Falsetto voice ] ♪ i'm
638
00:16:12,321 --> 00:16:15,253
washing Cindy's hair ♪
639
00:16:15,254 --> 00:16:17,253
♪ yeah, I'm washing Cindy's
640
00:16:17,254 --> 00:16:17,954
hair ♪
641
00:16:17,955 --> 00:16:19,587
♪ her hair's a little coarser
642
00:16:19,588 --> 00:16:20,787
than normal ♪
643
00:16:20,788 --> 00:16:22,387
♪ that's why I'm gonna use some
644
00:16:22,388 --> 00:16:24,587
extra conditioner ♪
645
00:16:24,588 --> 00:16:25,488
♪ 'cause that's what she
646
00:16:25,489 --> 00:16:26,620
requested ♪
647
00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:29,887
♪ chaka Khan!
648
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,387
Sal, tell her, "your hair
649
00:16:31,388 --> 00:16:34,553
makes me wish I was a girl."
650
00:16:34,554 --> 00:16:35,720
[ Normal voice ] If I had
651
00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:36,853
hair like that, I'd be the
652
00:16:36,854 --> 00:16:37,788
prettiest guy around.
653
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,087
Lean a little closer and go,
654
00:16:39,088 --> 00:16:40,353
"I'm a woman trapped in a man's
655
00:16:40,354 --> 00:16:41,121
body."
656
00:16:41,122 --> 00:16:45,587
[ Laughter ]
657
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,753
I'm a woman trapped in a
658
00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:50,687
man's body.
659
00:16:50,688 --> 00:16:51,854
He's in it to win it, man.
660
00:16:51,888 --> 00:16:53,653
[ Ding! ]
661
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:54,853
My name's Brian.
662
00:16:54,854 --> 00:16:55,388
Amy.
663
00:16:55,388 --> 00:16:56,254
Amy, hey.
664
00:16:56,255 --> 00:16:58,887
Where do you work?
665
00:16:58,888 --> 00:17:00,553
Are a doctor?
666
00:17:00,554 --> 00:17:01,488
Q, q, scrub up.
667
00:17:01,489 --> 00:17:02,520
Scrub up like a doctor.
668
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:03,820
I think you'll appreciate
669
00:17:03,821 --> 00:17:06,187
this, right?
670
00:17:06,188 --> 00:17:07,753
[ Laughter ]
671
00:17:07,754 --> 00:17:09,153
Start washing your own hair.
672
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,520
You just want it to sit for
673
00:17:10,521 --> 00:17:11,354
like two minutes.
674
00:17:11,355 --> 00:17:13,687
Relax.
675
00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:17,120
That stuff right there.
676
00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:19,121
[ Laughter ]
677
00:17:24,654 --> 00:17:25,887
Oh, my god!
678
00:17:25,888 --> 00:17:27,853
Ugh! I got shampoo in my eye.
679
00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:29,887
[ Ding! ]
680
00:17:29,888 --> 00:17:30,688
Hello! James.
681
00:17:30,688 --> 00:17:31,354
Hi, James.
682
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:32,288
What's your name?
683
00:17:32,288 --> 00:17:32,854
Grace.
684
00:17:32,855 --> 00:17:34,187
Grace? So nice to meet you.
685
00:17:34,188 --> 00:17:35,320
Murr, give her a scalp
686
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,054
massage.
687
00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:38,753
And I'm going to give you the
688
00:17:38,754 --> 00:17:39,654
scalp massage.
689
00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:40,853
Use one finger.
690
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:41,554
[ Sloop! ]
691
00:17:41,554 --> 00:17:42,454
There we go.
692
00:17:42,455 --> 00:17:45,753
[ Laughs ]
693
00:17:45,754 --> 00:17:47,020
Take your hand off her.
694
00:17:47,021 --> 00:17:49,487
Just let it float around her.
695
00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:52,721
[ Laughter ]
696
00:17:58,121 --> 00:17:59,653
How's that feel? Good?
697
00:17:59,654 --> 00:18:01,787
[ Laughing ] Good?
698
00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:02,221
Yes.
699
00:18:02,222 --> 00:18:03,487
Let's get some shampoo going.
700
00:18:03,488 --> 00:18:04,853
Murr, let's get a little more
701
00:18:04,854 --> 00:18:05,953
personal.
702
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:07,253
Does the carpet match the
703
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,353
drapes?
704
00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:10,520
Does the carpet match the
705
00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:13,220
drapes?
706
00:18:13,221 --> 00:18:15,653
[ Both laugh ]
707
00:18:15,654 --> 00:18:16,554
Hi. What was your name?
708
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:16,988
Devon.
709
00:18:16,988 --> 00:18:17,654
Hi, Devon. Joe.
710
00:18:17,654 --> 00:18:18,388
Pleased to meet you.
711
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,388
And what did you say you did?
712
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:20,988
I do cat scans.
713
00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:21,821
Cat scans?
714
00:18:21,822 --> 00:18:23,220
So I got this wicked boil
715
00:18:23,221 --> 00:18:24,853
on my butthole.
716
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,453
[ Laughs ]
717
00:18:26,454 --> 00:18:27,221
What?
718
00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:28,287
Yeah, do it.
719
00:18:28,288 --> 00:18:29,853
I've got this wicked boil on
720
00:18:29,854 --> 00:18:30,421
my butt.
721
00:18:30,422 --> 00:18:31,853
I'm trying to get someone to
722
00:18:31,854 --> 00:18:33,987
take a look at it.
723
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:34,854
So, I uh...
724
00:18:34,854 --> 00:18:35,354
No.
725
00:18:35,354 --> 00:18:35,854
No.
726
00:18:35,855 --> 00:18:37,287
Oh, is he gonna do it?
727
00:18:37,288 --> 00:18:38,787
I got this, uh, wicked
728
00:18:38,788 --> 00:18:39,987
boil on my butthole.
729
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:40,521
Oh!
730
00:18:40,522 --> 00:18:41,987
[ Laughing ] Oh, my god!
731
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:42,688
Oh, my!
732
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,187
Trying to get somebody to
733
00:18:44,188 --> 00:18:45,253
take a look at it.
734
00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:46,753
Does a cat scan take care of
735
00:18:46,754 --> 00:18:47,221
that?
736
00:18:47,221 --> 00:18:47,721
No.
737
00:18:47,721 --> 00:18:48,221
Mm.
738
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:49,687
Joe, say, "excuse me one
739
00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:50,221
second.
740
00:18:50,222 --> 00:18:51,787
I desperately need to use the
741
00:18:51,788 --> 00:18:52,454
bathroom."
742
00:18:52,454 --> 00:18:53,054
Okay?
743
00:18:53,054 --> 00:18:53,654
Okay.
744
00:18:53,655 --> 00:18:55,253
I'm gonna make quick poops.
745
00:18:55,254 --> 00:18:59,687
[ Laughter ]
746
00:18:59,688 --> 00:19:00,720
Now say, "back quick.
747
00:19:00,721 --> 00:19:01,488
It was diarrhea."
748
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:02,321
It was diarrhea.
749
00:19:02,322 --> 00:19:03,420
That's why I was so quick.
750
00:19:03,421 --> 00:19:07,788
[ Laughter ]
751
00:19:07,821 --> 00:19:09,053
We walked in there shampoo
752
00:19:09,054 --> 00:19:10,353
boys, and three of us came out
753
00:19:10,354 --> 00:19:10,954
shampoo men.
754
00:19:10,955 --> 00:19:12,988
So I'm still a shampoo boy?
755
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,220
You really sham-pooped the
756
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:14,954
bed on that one.
757
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:15,554
[ Laughter ]
758
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,053
Narrator: Murr didn't make
759
00:19:17,054 --> 00:19:18,620
the cut at the salon, and that
760
00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:21,687
makes him tonight's big loser.
761
00:19:21,688 --> 00:19:22,887
We're at the full cup coffee
762
00:19:22,888 --> 00:19:23,788
shop, where's Murray's
763
00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:25,020
horrendous game play has brought
764
00:19:25,021 --> 00:19:25,821
him to this moment.
765
00:19:25,822 --> 00:19:26,920
You only have yourself to
766
00:19:26,921 --> 00:19:27,288
blame.
767
00:19:27,288 --> 00:19:28,254
What do I have to do?
768
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,088
It's really easy.
769
00:19:29,089 --> 00:19:30,187
You just got to sit in there
770
00:19:30,188 --> 00:19:30,888
with the laptop.
771
00:19:30,888 --> 00:19:31,454
That's it.
772
00:19:31,454 --> 00:19:32,454
This is a cakewalk, my
773
00:19:32,454 --> 00:19:32,854
friend.
774
00:19:32,854 --> 00:19:33,821
What's on the laptop?
775
00:19:33,821 --> 00:19:34,788
Oh, naturally sounds.
776
00:19:34,789 --> 00:19:35,987
What did you think, you were
777
00:19:35,988 --> 00:19:36,854
just gonna sit there?
778
00:19:36,855 --> 00:19:38,120
[ Laughter ]
779
00:19:38,121 --> 00:19:38,588
No!
780
00:19:38,588 --> 00:19:39,021
No.
781
00:19:39,022 --> 00:19:40,253
You weren't just gonna
782
00:19:40,254 --> 00:19:41,188
[bleep] Sit there!
783
00:19:41,189 --> 00:19:42,420
Let's get it over with
784
00:19:42,421 --> 00:19:44,887
already.
785
00:19:44,888 --> 00:19:45,888
All right, murr.
786
00:19:45,889 --> 00:19:47,220
Sit there and take it like a
787
00:19:47,221 --> 00:19:47,888
man, buddy.
788
00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:48,854
And... let her go.
789
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,221
[ Click ]
790
00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:56,021
What do I have to do?
791
00:19:56,021 --> 00:19:56,988
It's really easy.
792
00:19:56,989 --> 00:19:58,220
You just got to sit in there
793
00:19:58,221 --> 00:19:59,021
with the laptop.
794
00:19:59,021 --> 00:19:59,721
That's it.
795
00:19:59,722 --> 00:20:00,853
This is a cakewalk, my
796
00:20:00,854 --> 00:20:01,321
friend.
797
00:20:01,322 --> 00:20:02,420
What's on the laptop?
798
00:20:02,421 --> 00:20:03,520
Oh, naturally sounds.
799
00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:04,887
What did you think, you were
800
00:20:04,888 --> 00:20:05,821
just gonna sit there?
801
00:20:05,822 --> 00:20:07,354
[ Laughter ]
802
00:20:07,388 --> 00:20:08,453
All right, murr.
803
00:20:08,454 --> 00:20:09,853
Take it like a man, buddy.
804
00:20:09,854 --> 00:20:10,754
And let her go.
805
00:20:10,754 --> 00:20:11,388
[ Click ]
806
00:20:11,389 --> 00:20:12,687
[ Fart ]
807
00:20:12,688 --> 00:20:15,553
[ Laughter ]
808
00:20:15,554 --> 00:20:16,653
And a big one.
809
00:20:16,654 --> 00:20:17,787
[ High-pitched fart ]
810
00:20:17,788 --> 00:20:18,721
He's noticing.
811
00:20:18,722 --> 00:20:20,187
That guy in the green shirt
812
00:20:20,188 --> 00:20:20,954
looks pissed.
813
00:20:20,955 --> 00:20:22,353
Let's get him more pissed.
814
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:22,954
[ Click ]
815
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,053
[ Fart ]
816
00:20:24,054 --> 00:20:25,387
[ Laughter ]
817
00:20:25,388 --> 00:20:27,220
Huh? I'm sorry?
818
00:20:27,221 --> 00:20:27,754
Sure.
819
00:20:27,754 --> 00:20:28,521
I'm sorry.
820
00:20:28,522 --> 00:20:30,620
Yep.
821
00:20:30,621 --> 00:20:31,221
[ Fart ]
822
00:20:31,221 --> 00:20:32,021
Oh. Whoops.
823
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,120
That one slipped out.
824
00:20:33,121 --> 00:20:34,253
[ Laughter ]
825
00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:36,153
That was a squeaker.
826
00:20:36,154 --> 00:20:41,220
[ Low-pitched fart ]
827
00:20:41,221 --> 00:20:42,520
[ Fart ]
828
00:20:42,521 --> 00:20:44,120
[ Laughter ]
829
00:20:44,121 --> 00:20:45,653
There he goes. There he goes.
830
00:20:45,654 --> 00:20:46,354
He's out.
831
00:20:46,354 --> 00:20:46,921
[ Fart ]
832
00:20:46,921 --> 00:20:47,621
[ Laughter ]
833
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,121
Ohh.
834
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,620
You want to see if we can get
835
00:20:49,621 --> 00:20:50,720
rid of the whole room?
836
00:20:50,721 --> 00:20:51,554
Light it up.
837
00:20:51,555 --> 00:20:53,787
[ Farting ]
838
00:20:53,788 --> 00:20:55,887
[ Laughter ]
839
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,953
[ Farting continues ]
840
00:20:58,954 --> 00:20:59,954
Oh, my god.
841
00:20:59,955 --> 00:21:01,753
He is clearing the place out!
842
00:21:01,754 --> 00:21:03,187
[ Farting continues ]
843
00:21:03,188 --> 00:21:04,088
[ Laughter ]
844
00:21:04,089 --> 00:21:05,520
You dropped something.
845
00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:06,188
[ Fart ]
846
00:21:06,189 --> 00:21:07,553
[ Laughter ]
847
00:21:07,554 --> 00:21:08,221
Yeah!
848
00:21:08,222 --> 00:21:09,653
Very good. Very good.
849
00:21:09,654 --> 00:21:12,988
Well done. Well done.
46233
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