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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,260 --> 00:00:02,660 - You guys are useless. What are you even doing? 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,400 - I'd like to see you do something for once. 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,530 - What, are you scared? - All right, here we go. 4 00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:08,540 - What's going on, shit face? - Eat a dick, penisi. 5 00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:10,470 - Hey, check yourself, polonsky. 6 00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:13,270 - Check yourself, crystal. - All right, all right. 7 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,410 Jerry. - Terry. 8 00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:15,740 - Nice to see you. - You as well. 9 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,210 What brings you out? 10 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,880 - Looks like we have a jurisdictional problem. 11 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,280 - Yeah, he wants us to take care of these guys, 12 00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:23,220 But they're his problem, not ours. 13 00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:24,220 - Drunks, huh? - Yep. 14 00:00:24,350 --> 00:00:25,550 - Looks like a police problem. 15 00:00:25,690 --> 00:00:27,150 - Exactly. - What's with the wet pants? 16 00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:29,290 - The wet your pants challenge, bitch! 17 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,760 [laughter] - he called you a bitch! 18 00:00:30,890 --> 00:00:32,430 [laughter] - what's that supposed to mean? 19 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,760 - What, you never heard of it, chief queef? 20 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:37,900 [chuckles] step one, you piss your pants. 21 00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:40,700 Step two, film it. [laughs] 22 00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,370 - It's a new social media craze. 23 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,170 You piss yourself in an unexpected place and film it. 24 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:45,640 All the influencers are doing it. 25 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,310 - Kylie jenner pissed her yoga pants 26 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,640 At london bridge last week. Broke the internet. 27 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,910 - It was pretty dope. - Have you done it? 28 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,710 - I'd rather not say. 29 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,180 - We wet ourselves five times at the tacoma terriers game 30 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,390 And three times just now. [laughter] 31 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,060 - They are not getting in my ambulance. 32 00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:03,390 - Yeah, they are. - Yeah, they are. 33 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,060 - Public intoxication, graffiti, 34 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,590 Vandalism--take 'em to jail. 35 00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:10,660 - Well, I'm sorry to have to play this card, but... 36 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,530 Guys... 37 00:01:12,670 --> 00:01:13,870 I'm gonna have to take you to jail. 38 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,340 - Thank you. 39 00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:17,200 - For doing the wet your pants challenge? 40 00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:19,540 Be cool, brah. Social meeds. 41 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,940 - Or you could tell these firefighters 42 00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:24,140 About your chest pain. 43 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,410 - I don't have chest pain. 44 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:27,080 - Or you can tell these firefighters 45 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,550 About your chest pain, and legally, 46 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:32,820 They have to take you to the er instead of jail. 47 00:01:32,950 --> 00:01:34,090 - No, no. 48 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,220 Both: We have chest pain! 49 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,560 Ah, my chest! 50 00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:38,690 - Oh! - Ow, my chest! 51 00:01:38,690 --> 00:01:40,490 - Yeah! - You heard it. 52 00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:44,230 Chest pains, or as I call it, incarceritis. 53 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:45,770 - No, no chance. We're not taking these guys. 54 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,630 Absolutely not. - Nope, he's right. 55 00:01:47,770 --> 00:01:49,040 We gotta take 'em. Load 'em up. 56 00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:50,640 - Are you kidding me? Come on. 57 00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:52,440 - We have no choice. Those are the rules. 58 00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,440 Load 'em up. - Chief. 59 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,240 - All right, granny. - Cap. 60 00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:57,640 - Might want to put on a life jacket 61 00:01:57,780 --> 00:01:59,450 For the waterworks. [laughs] 62 00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:01,380 - And by water, he means piss. 63 00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:02,720 - Yeah. - Oh, really? 64 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,390 - Wait, wait, wait, take a video of me 65 00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:07,920 Wetting myself in the ambulance. 66 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,660 - No, I just cleaned that ambulance out. 67 00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:12,590 No. - Hey, you mind? Just one. 68 00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:14,130 - Come on. - Want it vertical. 69 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:16,600 - Oh, shit. - Ah, my phone's all wet! 70 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,070 [laughs] - come on, let's go. Hurry up. 71 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,270 [both imitating sirens] 72 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,270 [foreigner's "hot blooded"] 73 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,610 - ♪ well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 74 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:35,220 ♪ check it and see ♪ 75 00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:38,620 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 76 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:40,550 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 77 00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:45,020 [slamming gavel] 78 00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:46,360 - Hear ye, hear ye, 79 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,300 This kangaroo court is now in session. 80 00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:50,630 Let justice be served for the crimes committed 81 00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:53,430 Within these walls, may they be real or perceived. 82 00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:55,440 - Mm, good word, your honor. 83 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,900 - [chuckles] thank you very much, bailiff. 84 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,440 - My first kangaroo court. I'm a little nervous. 85 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,040 - Eh, don't worry about it, probie. 86 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,710 It's all in good fun. Nobody takes it too seriously. 87 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,510 - Bailiff, you may call the first case. 88 00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:08,050 - All right, your honor, the court of station 24 89 00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:10,120 Recognizes lucy mcconky. 90 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,650 - Aha. 91 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:16,460 - Your honor, theft is a heinous crime, 92 00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:18,390 And no thievery is lower 93 00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:21,190 Than firefighter on firefighter theft. 94 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,660 - Mm. - You can say that again. 95 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:23,730 - Deplorable. 96 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,070 - As someone who enjoys looking "noice," 97 00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:29,470 I recently bought a very expensive bottle 98 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:32,070 Of shampoo to add extra body to my hair. 99 00:03:32,070 --> 00:03:35,610 Someone in this station has been stealing 100 00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:37,880 That very expensive shampoo. 101 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,350 Your honor, I bring before the court 102 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:44,820 The case of the people versus ike crystal! 103 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:47,760 [dramatic music] 104 00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:51,020 Both: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur. 105 00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:54,430 - Your honor, two weeks ago, I bought this bottle 106 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,300 Of maurice pasqual extra volumizing 107 00:03:57,300 --> 00:04:01,840 Ultra full body shampoo for $189.99. 108 00:04:01,970 --> 00:04:04,640 - $189? For shampoo? 109 00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:06,640 - May I remind you that you're the judge right now 110 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,640 And not my father? - Yeah, but that's crazy. 111 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,040 - [chuckles] - what's in that thing, gold? 112 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,910 - Well, it's pretty common for high-end shampoo 113 00:04:11,910 --> 00:04:13,850 These days, your honor. - Is that right, bailiff? 114 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:16,650 - Indeed, and that right there is the low end of the high end. 115 00:04:16,650 --> 00:04:19,190 - Shut the front door! Maybe I am crazy. 116 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:20,920 - No, no, you're not crazy. 117 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,390 - Thank you for your shampoo expertise, bailiff. 118 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,860 - Well, I appreciate your appreciation 119 00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:25,860 Of my expertise. [both chuckle] 120 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,130 - As you might note, the bottle is almost empty. 121 00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:30,460 [bottle rattles] 122 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,200 - Inspect that, bailiff. - Yes, sir. 123 00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:33,800 [bottle rattles] 124 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,400 Yep, that's empty. - I thought the same thing. 125 00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:36,470 - Mm-hmm. 126 00:04:36,470 --> 00:04:37,870 - Ike asked me to use it, 127 00:04:37,870 --> 00:04:40,210 And I declined given its lofty price. 128 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:44,410 Soon, the levels began to lower and his hair became fluffier. 129 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,550 - Objection. Circumstantial. 130 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,620 - Sustained. Very good, ike. 131 00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,350 That's good legalese. - Yeah! 132 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,620 - Murmur, murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur. 133 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,690 - Your honor, I would like to call 134 00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:55,420 To the stand an expert witness, 135 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,620 Andres mickleberry! 136 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,360 [upbeat rock music] 137 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,230 Mickleberry, are you familiar 138 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,430 With maurice pasqual extra volumizing 139 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,960 Ultra full body shampoo? 140 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,570 - I am. My mom uses it. It smells like home. 141 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,300 - Mickleberry, will you smell ike's hair 142 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:10,770 And tell me what it smells like? 143 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,440 - I don't think we need to do that, your honor. 144 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:14,010 - I'll allow it. - Mm. 145 00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,910 - [sniffs deeply] 146 00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:19,980 Ah, dios mío. 147 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,380 Maurice pasqual. I'd bet my life on it. 148 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,590 - Objection! Uh, speculation. 149 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,590 - He is an expert witness. Overruled. 150 00:05:27,590 --> 00:05:28,860 - [chuckles] he is an expert. 151 00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:30,390 - Yeah. - Good call, your honor. 152 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:31,990 He had his nose in that thing 153 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,790 Like it was another dog's ass. - [laughs] 154 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,260 - Yes, I think he could smell what he was thinking. 155 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,600 [both laugh] 156 00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:42,800 - And, your honor, I actually saw ike use the shampoo. 157 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,800 - What? - Murmur, murmur. 158 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:47,810 Both: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur. 159 00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:49,680 - We were showering after a call 160 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,810 When ike mentioned his dry hair. 161 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:55,880 - Ugh, these fires make my hair so thin and flat and dry! 162 00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:58,020 Does that happen to you? - Not really. 163 00:05:58,020 --> 00:05:59,220 [bottle whistles] 164 00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,420 - Thanks a lot, obama. 165 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:08,630 Oh, hello, you. [laughs] 166 00:06:08,630 --> 00:06:09,760 - Ike, don't! That's lucy's. 167 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,430 - Yeah, no shit it's lucy's. 168 00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,630 Chick shampoo fucking rules. 169 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,030 - You shouldn't steal from other people. 170 00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:16,370 - It's fine. Don't worry about it. 171 00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:17,910 I do this all the time. 172 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,640 "ike, that's not yours. That's lucy's." 173 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,780 Shut up, bro! God. 174 00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:23,780 - I think that stuff is really expensive. 175 00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:25,450 - By the way, if you say anything about this, 176 00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:27,110 I'm gonna waste you, bro. 177 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:28,650 Snap, crackle, pop! 178 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,980 - Murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 179 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,720 - Ugh, how do we know he didn't do it? 180 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,390 He probably used it. Look at his wavy, curly hair. 181 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,520 Look at how wavy it is. - I have naturally curly hair. 182 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:39,530 - Your honor, we know it wasn't mickleberry. 183 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:40,930 - And how do we know that? 184 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,400 - Because mickleberry is allergic 185 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,400 To maurice pasqual shampoo! 186 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,600 - It's true. 187 00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:47,130 I'm allergic to the cleansing agent 188 00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:50,270 In maurice pasqual, cocamidopropyl betaine. 189 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,940 It irritates my skin. 190 00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:53,970 Here's a note from my mother stating such. 191 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,680 - Bailiff, enter that into evidence. 192 00:06:56,810 --> 00:06:58,810 - Entering to evidence, your honor. 193 00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:00,810 "my son is allergic to the cleansing agent 194 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:04,820 "cocamidopropyl betaine in maurice pasqual shampoo. 195 00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:07,960 Maria mickleberry." looks legit, your honor. 196 00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:09,360 - It does look legit. 197 00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:10,890 All right. [slams gavel] 198 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,890 This court is ready to rule. - Judge ruling. 199 00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:18,500 - I hereby find ike crystal guilty of the crime of theft. 200 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:19,700 - What? 201 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:20,970 - I sentence you to reimburse 202 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:25,310 Lucy mcconky $189.99 using the cashmo app. 203 00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,110 - Wait, whoa, whoa, that's a lot of money! 204 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,110 - Furthermore, upon recess of this court, 205 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,180 I order you to wash that shampoo 206 00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:34,510 Right out of your hair, and I also ban you 207 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,450 From using any volumizing shampoo 208 00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:37,920 For one month. - Yes. 209 00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,720 - What? I need to volumize. 210 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,850 I'm gonna look ridiculous. 211 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,520 [slams gavel] - next case. 212 00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:43,860 [alarm blaring] - alarm, engine 24. 213 00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:46,060 Rescue 42, respond to unknown odor. 214 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,000 - Okay, this court is adjourned until the crew returns. 215 00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:51,530 Thank you very much, everybody. That was fun. 216 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,140 [slamming gavel] 217 00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:56,540 Hear ye, hear ye, 218 00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:58,540 This kangaroo court is back in session. 219 00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:00,810 - Kangaroo court sucks. - You suck. 220 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,140 - You suck. - You suck. 221 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,140 - And the court will now recognize 222 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,210 Captain edward penisi jr. 223 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,620 [smooth guitar riff] - ♪ eddie ♪ 224 00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:10,350 - Your honor... 225 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:15,090 We can all agree that treason is a most heinous crime. 226 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:17,220 - Oh, very heinous. Isn't that right, bailiff? 227 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,490 - Most heinous crime I know. 228 00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:20,090 - And if we sit by 229 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,900 While acts of treason are committed, 230 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,960 Are we not ourselves traitors? - We are traitors. 231 00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:26,970 Isn't that right, bailiff? - Dirty dogs. 232 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:29,040 - It is with this weighing on my heart 233 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:33,310 That I accuse chief terry mcconky of treason. 234 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:36,180 - Murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, major murmur. 235 00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:37,380 - What? How? 236 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:38,780 - I am accusing you 237 00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:41,250 Of being friends with the enemy, 238 00:08:41,380 --> 00:08:43,050 Police captain jerry polonsky. 239 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,780 - Murmur, murmur. - Oh, shit, murmur, murmur. 240 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,990 - Oh. - Murmur, baby, murmur. 241 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,390 - That's ridiculous. Me friends with polonsky? 242 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,660 I can't wait to hear this one. 243 00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:53,130 - If it pleases the court, 244 00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:55,930 The prosecution will now present its case. 245 00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:57,460 - It pleases the court. Isn't that right, bailiff? 246 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,800 - Oh, from the rootie to the tootie. 247 00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:00,230 - This'll be good. 248 00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:03,900 [slams gavel] 249 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,970 - Oh, ye, oh, ye. Court is in session. 250 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,510 The honorable bailiff granfield smith 251 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:10,980 Will now preside over the case 252 00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,110 Of the people versus terry mcconky. 253 00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:14,050 Counselor. 254 00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:16,720 - Chief mcconky, you stand accused 255 00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:19,190 Of being friends with captain jerry polonsky. 256 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,920 - Oh, boy, this is gonna be a classic. 257 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,990 - Oh, yeah. - Okay, go ahead. 258 00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,990 - Terry, today I am going to prove 259 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:27,260 That the two of you have a wealth of things in common, 260 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,530 And that that has lead you to become secret close friends. 261 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,000 - [laughs] come on. 262 00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:34,130 He's a redhead. They smell like mothballs. 263 00:09:34,270 --> 00:09:35,470 I mean, give me a break. 264 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,540 Why would I be friends with that? 265 00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:37,800 - Mm-hmm, indeed. 266 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,070 The other day, 267 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:40,870 When we greeted the cops with insults 268 00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:42,810 At the incarceritis imbroglio, 269 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:46,350 You not only greeted polonsky with a very friendly, 270 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:50,080 "nice to see you," but you also sided with him 271 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,750 Against the tfd, did you not? 272 00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:54,960 - Murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 273 00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:57,420 - Okay, that's what this is about? 274 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,160 Great. All right. Let's do it. 275 00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:01,230 - Terry, would you state for me the name 276 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:03,430 Of your favorite country and western 277 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,900 Music recording artist please? 278 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,830 - Well, I think we all know it's leigh weigh. 279 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,840 - And did you not attend the leigh weigh concert 280 00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,700 Last month on the 29th? 281 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,370 - You freaking know I did. 282 00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,510 They closed with "fresh cut grass 283 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:15,910 And a piece o' ass." 284 00:10:15,910 --> 00:10:18,980 Nobody left. - Your honor, exhibit a. 285 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:20,450 - Oh, great, you're a tech guy now? 286 00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:23,120 - This photo was posted to jerry polonsky's 287 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:26,650 Boi-oi-oing page the morning after the leigh weigh concert. 288 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,720 - So what? He's a weigh watcher. 289 00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:29,920 Maybe I should be friends with him. 290 00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:31,390 - But hold on one second. 291 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,330 I think you were there together. 292 00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:34,860 [laughter] 293 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:36,730 - Oh, murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 294 00:10:36,730 --> 00:10:38,130 - It's a good one. - Whoo! 295 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,730 - Yeah, I went straight from work. 296 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,470 - Chief mcconky, do you recall that, 297 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,870 At our most recent charity auction, 298 00:10:43,870 --> 00:10:45,610 There were two unclaimed tickets 299 00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,410 To the bonney lake arts & crafts fair? 300 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:49,680 - Can't say that I do. - Hm, that's very interesting, 301 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:50,880 Considering that those two tickets 302 00:10:51,010 --> 00:10:52,350 Were pinned to the bulletin board 303 00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,680 Outside of your office for some time 304 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,020 Until they went missing. 305 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,680 - Objection, your honor. Who gives a shit? 306 00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,350 [laughter] 307 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,820 - Counselor, you better be going someplace with this. 308 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,220 - Oh, I am, your honor. I am. 309 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,890 Your honor, the bonney lake arts & crafts fair 310 00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,160 Was on Saturday the 2nd of this month. 311 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:11,360 Now, the night of the 2nd, chief mcconky was caught 312 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:14,970 Running a red light camera in the town of bonney lake. 313 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,100 - [gasps] - oh. 314 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,840 - Murmur, murmur. - Okay, so what? 315 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,310 - And how do you know this, counselor? 316 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,510 - I know this because terry showed me 317 00:11:23,510 --> 00:11:24,850 The red light ticket photo. 318 00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:27,050 He thought it was funny. - Big deal. 319 00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:28,980 I think red light photo cameras are funny. 320 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,720 - It's pretty funny. - Yeah. See? 321 00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:32,190 Everyone thinks they're funny. 322 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,060 - The thing we never discussed was the identity 323 00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:38,130 Of this person obscured in the photo 324 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,590 Sitting next to terry in his car. 325 00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:41,790 - It's probably vicky. - You don't recall? 326 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,400 - Probably vicky. 327 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,070 - Lucy, what did terry tell you about that ticket? 328 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,130 - He bragged about how he pulled some strings 329 00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:49,200 To get out of it. - Oh. 330 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,270 Pulled some strings, did he? Well, well, well. 331 00:11:52,410 --> 00:11:55,410 It must be very easy to get out of a traffic ticket 332 00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,080 When the passenger in your car is a police captain. 333 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,820 Both: Murmur, murmur, murmur. - Murmur, murmur, murmur. 334 00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:03,750 - Okay, this is stupid, all right? 335 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,620 Now it's getting boring. That was your best joke. 336 00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:06,820 Let's move on now. 337 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,220 - Your honor, I demand a retrial. 338 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,830 I was blatantly framed for that shampoo crime. 339 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,090 I didn't do it. - And if you were framed 340 00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,900 For the shampoo, why is your hair so flat now? 341 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:18,430 - I--stop. I-- 342 00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:21,840 [sighs] look, I request a short recess 343 00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:23,440 So I can get my case in order, please. 344 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:25,710 - Your case is over. - But I'm innocent, I tell you! 345 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,710 I'm innocent! I was framed! 346 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,710 - Ike, I got the chief on the ropes. 347 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,180 - What? Whatever, "on the ropes." 348 00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:32,850 [alarm blaring] fresh alarm, engine 24... 349 00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:34,110 - Okay, roll it out. 350 00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,050 - We will resume when we return. 351 00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,980 - [laughs] - oh, man. 352 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,450 Did you see his face 353 00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:40,790 When you brought up the red light ticket? 354 00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:42,060 - Hysterical. 355 00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:43,860 Terry has five minutes of fun in him, 356 00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:46,390 And then he gets cranky. - And defensive. 357 00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:49,060 - Yeah, about me saying he's friends with polonsky. 358 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,600 Tell you what I'm gonna do. 359 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,470 When we get back in there, I am gonna hit him 360 00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,340 With some really stupid stuff just to piss him off. 361 00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,800 - Who is in this photo? - Probably vicky. 362 00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:58,810 - It doesn't really look like her. 363 00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:01,140 I'ma text her. 364 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,810 "were you with dad in the car 365 00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:05,950 When he got the red light ticket?" 366 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,610 - It's gotta be her. 367 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,950 Who else would terry go to an arts & crafts fair with? 368 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,220 - She said "what ticket?" 369 00:13:12,150 --> 00:13:13,950 Guess it's not her. [knock at door] 370 00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:17,360 - Sorry, uh, you know I didn't use the maurice pasqual, right? 371 00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:19,890 - Yes, you did, ike. - No, I didn't, lucy. 372 00:13:20,030 --> 00:13:22,230 - You look like a scarecrow. - Oh, come on. 373 00:13:22,230 --> 00:13:23,560 Okay, maybe I used it once 374 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,500 Because my husky 3-in-1 men's body wash was out. 375 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,430 I used it one time, 376 00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:29,100 But there's no way I used that much. 377 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,440 That's impossible. 378 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,700 Somebody else is using it, okay? 379 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:32,910 And it wasn't me, lucy, 380 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:33,970 So stop looking at me like that. 381 00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:35,510 It wasn't--you know what? 382 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,180 I'm gonna find out who, and you can bet your ass 383 00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:38,850 I'm gonna find out, and we're gonna solve it. 384 00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:40,780 - Mickleberry caught you red-handed! 385 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,120 - Well, mickleberry is a liar! 386 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,790 - Guys, guys, it's kangaroo court. 387 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:45,920 It's kangaroo court. Calm down. 388 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,320 - Cap, I'm calm, 389 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,390 But I got robbed in there! This is bullshit! 390 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,460 - Cap, can you kick him out of our private lunch. 391 00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,190 - Did you guys go to blobby's without me? 392 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,460 - Yeah, we did. - Awesome. 393 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,130 You know it's my favorite. - [laughs] 394 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,870 [upbeat rock music] 395 00:13:58,870 --> 00:13:59,870 - Blobby's sucks! 396 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,670 [slamming gavel] - oh, ye! 397 00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,610 Oh, ye, oh, ye, oh, ye! 398 00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,070 We resume the case 399 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:07,740 Of the people versus chief mcconky. 400 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:09,410 - Okay, eddie, are we gonna keep going with this? 401 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,610 I thought we got all the laughs out of it, hm? 402 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,350 - Oh, your honor, I would like 403 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,020 To call another witness to the stand. 404 00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:17,880 - Oh. Hey, sorry. You guys having a meeting? 405 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,490 Well, what'd you want, lucy? 406 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:23,690 - Your honor, the people call viccolina penisi-mcconky. 407 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,960 [dramatic musical sting] 408 00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:27,490 - Oh, no, not kangaroo court again 409 00:14:27,630 --> 00:14:29,500 - Mom, please, just one quick question. 410 00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,630 - Yeah, but last time, eddie accused terry 411 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,570 Of wearing spanx, and then-- 412 00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:35,170 Then he tricked me into testifying. 413 00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:36,170 I don't want to do that again. 414 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,640 - I don't wear spanx. 415 00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:38,970 - Okay, let's not talk about it. 416 00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:40,170 - It's super important. 417 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,310 - Five minutes, that's it. 418 00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:43,110 - Mrs. Penisi-mcconky, 419 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,980 Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule 420 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:47,510 To accommodate us. - Let's get to it, eddie. 421 00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:49,580 - Mrs. Penisi-mcconky, 422 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,990 Do you remember terry going to the leigh weigh concert 423 00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:53,450 Last month? - Of course. 424 00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:55,320 He's still singing that "ass in the grass" song. 425 00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:58,390 - Honey, it's "fresh cut grass and a piece o' ass." 426 00:14:58,390 --> 00:14:59,990 - Yeah, you know what I mean. 427 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,660 - I used to sing that song to you when you rubbed my feet. 428 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,460 - We don't have to tell everybody that. 429 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,270 - Do you remember with whom terry went to the concert? 430 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,470 - Ike. - Yeah? 431 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,270 Oh, me ike? 432 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,670 No, you're probably thinking of a different guy named ike. 433 00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:14,210 - I actually said mike. 434 00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:15,680 Mike penkenten from the treasurer's office. 435 00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:17,280 - No, you said ike. 436 00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:19,680 - I specifically said mike. Mike penkenten. 437 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,950 - Murmur, murmur, murmur. - No, not--not now. 438 00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,690 - Wait, terry, did you lie to me? 439 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,620 - Are you kidding me? Are you falling for this? 440 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,220 This is a joke. 441 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,960 - Vicky, is this you in the car with terry? 442 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,100 - No, this is a man, eddie. - Indeed. Indeed. 443 00:15:36,230 --> 00:15:37,630 - Terry, who did you go to the concert with? 444 00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:40,100 - Mike penkenten! - Who is this in this picture? 445 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,370 - It's probably mike penkenten. 446 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,970 - Mike penkenten is not a white guy. 447 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,910 - Okay, joke's over. Come on, all right? 448 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,440 Lookit--she's getting mad at me now. 449 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:47,970 Are you happy? - All right, counselor. 450 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,310 Where are you going with this? 451 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,180 - Your honor, it is the prosecution's belief 452 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:53,180 That terry mcconky is secretly attending events 453 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,650 With jerry polonsky. 454 00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,780 They went to the leigh weigh concert together. 455 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,320 They went to the bonney lake arts & crafts fair together, 456 00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:02,660 And if you'd look at these two photos side-by-side, 457 00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:05,390 They reveal that the mystery passenger 458 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:09,000 In terry's car is none other than his open-mouthed friend 459 00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:10,330 Jerry polonsky. 460 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,600 - Oh! - Murmur, murmur. 461 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:13,800 - Murmur, murmur. 462 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,200 - Vicky, this is a joke, okay? 463 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,740 This is a joke, all right? 464 00:16:16,870 --> 00:16:20,010 - Your honor, the prosecution brings to the stand 465 00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:23,140 Police captain gerald mcrainey polonsky. 466 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:24,410 - Yeah, right. 467 00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:26,750 He's actually here. [chuckles] 468 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,420 - The hell do you want, penisi? 469 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:29,620 You said there was a crime being committed here. 470 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,890 - There is-- the crime of treason, 471 00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:34,020 And terry mcconky is guilty! 472 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,890 All: Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur. 473 00:16:36,890 --> 00:16:39,160 - Yeah, we don't arrest people for treason. 474 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,460 You need to call the feds. 475 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,500 [upbeat rock music] 476 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,570 - Jerry, would you consider yourself to be friends 477 00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:52,170 With terry mcconky? - Us? Friends? 478 00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:54,240 I'd sooner eat a rat, crap that out, 479 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,980 Eat that, crap that out, feed that to another rat, 480 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,850 And then eat that rat. 481 00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:00,250 - Objection, your honor! 482 00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:02,650 Super gross and mildly confusing. 483 00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:04,180 - Sustained, ike, but this isn't your case. 484 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,520 You can't object. 485 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,720 - Well, now that I've got your attention, 486 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,520 Can I just tell you, I'm innocent! 487 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,520 I paid lucy a lot of money for that shampoo. 488 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:12,330 A lot of money! - And there it is. 489 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,130 [cash register chimes] thanks, ike. 490 00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:17,000 - Jerry, who did you go to the leigh weigh concert with? 491 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,800 - Joe. - I'm not falling for it. 492 00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:21,070 - Joe mama! Ooh, ooh! 493 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,000 - Oh, joe mama. That was awesome. 494 00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,940 Like, joe--joe mama. 495 00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:27,410 It's like a knock-knock joke. Forget it, man. Try to keep up. 496 00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:29,280 - Were you in terry's car 497 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,280 The night he got the red light camera ticket? 498 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,680 - No, that was probably your mom. 499 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,680 - Oh, zing. He got her twice in a row. 500 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,480 - Yeah. - Man, he's vicious. 501 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,150 - I'm sorry, terry, did you want to be friends? 502 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,350 Maybe our kids can date again with the... 503 00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:42,090 [singing, trilling] 504 00:17:42,090 --> 00:17:43,890 - Okay. - Hey. 505 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,690 - That's offensive. - Her mother is here. 506 00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:47,630 - Oh, my god. 507 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,360 Uncle eddie, you gotta see this. 508 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,370 [soft dramatic music] 509 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,370 - [gasps] 510 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,170 - All right, cap, can you wrap this up? 511 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:58,770 - Not just yet, your honor. 512 00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:01,110 I call terry mcconky back to the stand. 513 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,310 - Okay, eddie, joke's over. All right? Really. 514 00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:05,180 - Terry, did you recently purchase 515 00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:07,450 A wicker basket? 516 00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:09,580 [dramatic musical sting] 517 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,390 - I don't recall. - Honey, yes, you did. 518 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,720 It's in the bathroom. 519 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,190 It's holding your boat magazines. 520 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,590 - Oh, thanks, honey. 521 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,530 - Everyone, this is lucy's cashmo app. 522 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:24,600 Note the top payment, ike crystal to lucy mcconky. 523 00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:27,600 Terry, are you aware that cashmo allows you 524 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,540 To view your friends' transactions 525 00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:31,270 As well as your own? - How? 526 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,810 - That's just the way cashmo works. 527 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,210 - Everybody knows that. - Why would they do that? 528 00:18:35,340 --> 00:18:36,680 - Social media. - It's not social media. 529 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,480 It's banking transactions. 530 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,750 - Terry, did you reimburse jerry for a wicker basket? 531 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:49,420 Did you or did you not reimburse jerry polonsky 532 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,560 For a wicker basket that you purchased 533 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,160 At the bonney lake arts & crafts fair? 534 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,960 - Objection! Your honor, objection. 535 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,030 - Overruled. I want to hear this. 536 00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,970 - If it pleases the court... 537 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,440 Everybody, notice the bottom payment 538 00:19:04,570 --> 00:19:05,970 From one month ago. 539 00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:10,710 [all gasp] 540 00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:13,380 - Chief. 541 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,520 - Dad, was polonsky in the car with you? 542 00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:18,320 - Terry, is that who you went to the concert with? 543 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,920 - Terry, are you friends with polonsky? 544 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,660 - That's ridiculous! 545 00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,730 - No, I'm not friends with polonsky. 546 00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:27,990 - You are under oath. - No, I'm not under oath. 547 00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:30,330 This is kangaroo court. - Tell us the truth. 548 00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,530 - You want the truth? - Yeah, I want the truth. 549 00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:35,140 - You want the truth? - Yeah, I want the truth! 550 00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:36,870 - I can't handle the truth. - Yes. 551 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,670 Yes, I went to the arts & crafts fair 552 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,540 With polonsky! 553 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,810 We called it our crafternoon, and we got baskets, 554 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:47,080 And we got dreamcatchers, and we watched glassblowing, 555 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,420 And we had funnel cake, and you know what? 556 00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:52,550 We had a great time because we're friends! 557 00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:55,360 - We are friends. - There, I said it. 558 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,160 And I feel free now! How's that? 559 00:19:58,290 --> 00:19:59,890 - How long has this been going on? 560 00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:02,100 - I ran into him at the bert kreisher concert 561 00:20:02,230 --> 00:20:03,430 In February. 562 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,830 We chatted. We laughed. We hit it off. 563 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,170 He's hysterical. - He's hysterical. 564 00:20:08,170 --> 00:20:09,500 - Oh, and you know what? 565 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,910 I went to the leigh weigh concert with him too, 566 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,510 But you'd know that if you'd just looked 567 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,380 At your picture more closely. 568 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,040 My reflection is in the sunglasses! 569 00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:23,980 I had the time of my life. 570 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,790 - Why have you been keeping this from us? 571 00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,390 - He's a cop! It's like "romeo and juliet." 572 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:28,860 - With a dude every weekend? - It's so weird. 573 00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:30,790 - Besides, you're not supposed to make friends 574 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,590 Over 40 with random new people. - Watching netflix by myself. 575 00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:33,990 - Why is it any different? - Nobody accepts it! 576 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,600 - This is crazy! - You think I'm weird? 577 00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:36,930 - There's a tradition of the fire department 578 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,470 Hating the police. - You guys have been 579 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:39,670 Coming at me forever! 580 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,740 - Order! Order in the courtroom! 581 00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:45,070 - And I don't wear spanx! - Order! Order! 582 00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:48,610 - [sniffing] 583 00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:51,080 - Mom? - [sniffs] 584 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,610 Eddie, have you been using 585 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:56,480 Maurice pasqual extra volumizing 586 00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:58,550 Ultra full body shampoo? 587 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,890 - What? - Lucy uses it. 588 00:21:00,890 --> 00:21:03,090 - You were using it? - No, it's not maurice pasqual. 589 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:05,360 It's not maurice pasqual. It's not maurice pasqual. 590 00:21:05,490 --> 00:21:06,560 - [sniffs] I smell it 591 00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,760 All over the place here. Wow, you guys. 592 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,500 [sniffing] it's there. It's there. 593 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,430 We got it-- - what are you, a bloodhound? 594 00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:14,700 - [sniffing] 595 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,570 Mickleberry, you too? 596 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,770 Terry, what are you paying these guys? 597 00:21:20,910 --> 00:21:22,240 - What? 598 00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:23,840 You said you were allergic, bro! 599 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,380 - Okay, so what? It makes my curls look awesome. 600 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,580 - You owe me $189. You both owe me $189.99. 601 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,320 [laughs] oh, baby, yes! 602 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,190 - Wait, what--ow. - [sniffs] 603 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:40,930 I cannot believe this! This is rampant collusion! 604 00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:42,800 - He's the ringleader. He always has been. 605 00:21:42,930 --> 00:21:45,930 - Mickleberry did it! [slamming gavel] 606 00:21:46,070 --> 00:21:47,940 - Order in my courtroom! 607 00:21:49,270 --> 00:21:52,340 Looks like I got a lot of sentences to hand down. 608 00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:53,940 - And some to retract. 609 00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:57,480 - And I'm the only one who's not a shampoo thief. 610 00:21:57,610 --> 00:21:59,550 Cap, you should be ashamed of yourself. 611 00:21:59,550 --> 00:22:01,620 - Eh, I'm not sorry. My hair's sweet. 612 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,350 - I hope you go bald. 613 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:06,350 - Chief terry mcconky, this court finds you guilty 614 00:22:06,490 --> 00:22:10,420 Of secretly being friends with captain jerry polonsky. 615 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,690 We're gonna take a short recess to figure out your punishment. 616 00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:15,060 [slams gavel] 617 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,230 - Ooh, embroidered mushrooms. Look at that. 618 00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:20,630 - Hey. - Huh? 619 00:22:20,770 --> 00:22:22,440 - You're a fun guy. - [laughs] 620 00:22:22,570 --> 00:22:23,640 That's a good one. - Thank you. 621 00:22:23,770 --> 00:22:25,510 - Oh, man. Ooh, candles. 622 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:27,240 Look at this. [laughs] 623 00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,310 - I love fragrances. 624 00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:30,580 - Ah. [sniffs] 625 00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:31,650 Mm. - Hit me. 626 00:22:31,780 --> 00:22:33,980 [sniffs] sand and fog. 627 00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:36,520 I'd bet anything. - Oh! 628 00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:38,180 Huh? Nailed it. 629 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,720 - Hey, guys, wait up. Check it out. 630 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,920 Dreamcatchers, tons of 'em back there. 631 00:22:42,930 --> 00:22:43,920 - Sweet. 632 00:22:44,060 --> 00:22:45,790 - Also, there's a booth back there 633 00:22:45,790 --> 00:22:48,260 With homemade sleep masks with animal faces on 'em. 634 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,600 I'm talking, like, owl eyes, racoon eyes, and whatnot. 635 00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:53,600 - Shut up. - I've gotta get one of those. 636 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,200 - Me too! [laughter] 637 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,940 - I gotta tell you something, eddie. 638 00:22:57,070 --> 00:22:58,670 When granny handed down that sentence 639 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:00,140 And said that you couldn't use hair product 640 00:23:00,140 --> 00:23:01,880 And that we should spend the day together 641 00:23:02,010 --> 00:23:03,880 At the arts & crafts fair, I thought it was a punishment, 642 00:23:04,010 --> 00:23:06,080 But your hair looks great, and this has been a lot of fun. 643 00:23:06,210 --> 00:23:07,210 - It really has. 644 00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,820 I have to be honest. 645 00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:10,420 I didn't think I could hang out with a cop, 646 00:23:10,550 --> 00:23:12,020 Specifically this cop. 647 00:23:12,150 --> 00:23:14,550 - You. - But this has been terrific. 648 00:23:14,690 --> 00:23:16,490 - Really terrific. [chuckles] 649 00:23:16,630 --> 00:23:18,290 Hey, homemade bookmarks. 650 00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:19,690 - What? - You guys read? 651 00:23:19,830 --> 00:23:20,960 - Of course. - Okay, okay, hold on. 652 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,830 I'll get some. - I'll catch up with you. 653 00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:24,360 - Hey, anyway, I wanted to thank you 654 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,900 For being so cool about terry and I being friends, 655 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,900 And who knows, maybe one day, the three of us, 656 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,110 Maybe we'll be a trio. [chuckles] 657 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,110 - Not on your life. 658 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,640 I'm gonna bide my time like a lion in tall grass, 659 00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:38,710 And then poof, I'm gonna eat you, 660 00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:41,920 Bones and all, and you're gonna be gone, 661 00:23:42,050 --> 00:23:44,790 And no one will ever miss you. 662 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,150 Hey, terry, wait up! I love bookmarks! 663 00:23:49,130 --> 00:23:50,990 - That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody. 664 00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,730 - Here, let's come back here. Let's come-- 665 00:23:52,860 --> 00:23:53,930 There's something I want to show you down here. 666 00:23:54,060 --> 00:23:55,130 - Yeah. - The dreamcatchers. 667 00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:56,860 - Oh, where are the dreamcatchers? 668 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,330 - They're right back here. - Oh, great, okay. 669 00:23:58,470 --> 00:23:59,400 Should we get jerry or-- 670 00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:01,170 - Nah, nah, nah. He'll be fine. 50238

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