Original subtitles

Oh

My god, hey, what are you guys doing here? What we can't say hi to her cool sup mom

Bro, we really should stop calling her that I know I am legally your stepmom, but you guys will always be my own

Did you guys bring flowers?

Oh my god

You guys are so sweet

I'm gonna put these in some water, come on in

Cool

Well, we're on spring vacation

Yeah

I mean, shouldn't

We just wanted to check on you

You guys should be at the beach doing all sorts of fun cool stuff with your friends

You don't need to check on me. Well, having fun with you is awesome

I'm boring. No, you guys should be at the beach. Like you guys shouldn't have flown here. Why?

Dad's not here. So we wanted to come spend time with you. You're in this big new house all alone

So yeah, you might get bored and lonely. Well, I mean he's gone a lot, but it doesn't bother me

I have lots of things to do. I have hobbies

Well, yeah, but you haven't seen us in a while

I haven't I am really glad you guys are here. We wanted to come keep you company

I always want to see my boys

And we appreciate you so much

Yeah, but you know, there's other holidays not spring break. You guys should be partying

What? No, I'd rather spend time with my mom

Yeah

That's really really sweet of you guys, but I swear you like

Live it up while you're young

I mean, you're not gonna be young forever

Um, yeah, but there's only so much time we can spend with our mom, you know

What does that mean?

Quality time

Quality time, okay

Exactly

I was like, excuse me

Yeah, I miss it, you know

You miss it?

Yeah

That's so sweet

You would make us breakfast in the morning

You would take us to the park

We would go on to the movies

Yeah, I remember Friday movie night always such a great memory

Movie nights were the best

I mean, maybe I am a little lonely in this house

If you guys are gonna stay here, I'll just make it the best spring break ever

Yeah

Are you guys okay with that?

Yeah

Okay, well, I mean you guys can go up to your rooms

They're just how you left them

I'm sure you need to shower after your flight and whatever you want to do

And maybe I'll bake cookies or something

Hmm, I do miss your cookies

Yeah, cookies

That sounds like a great idea

Yeah, absolutely

It's whatever you guys want to do for your range of the house

Yeah?

Yeah

Nice mom, thank you

I love when we have free range

Yeah

You're my voice, anything you want, anything I can do for you

And you're the best mom ever

Of course I am

And you're sweet for saying it

You always know how to give us a helping hand

Yeah

Anything you need, honey

Just let me know

Okay

You're always there to count on

Yeah

I mean, I wish you guys would have let me know

I would have gone to the grocery store earlier

All I had to do today was make cookies

Maybe I should run to the grocery store and get some other things

So I can make you guys a nice dinner later as well

Yeah, I mean, I can go ahead and make cookies

Your bedrooms are just how you left them

I've only just been testing and, you know, the normal stuff

So, like, go and do that and take a shower

I'm sure your flight was long

And I'll start building those cookies

Okay, we'll go do that

Sounds good

Alright, see you soon, mom

Absolutely, babies

Love you

Love you

You know what it feels like

Yeah

I don't care if it's perfect

Just someone's cookies

Boys, are you done with your shower?

Yeah

Ready, mom

Yeah

The cookies just came out of the oven

Oh, yes

They're still warm, don't touch them

They smell so good

Smells like

childhood

Well, I've been making the same recipe for you

Well, I've been making the same recipe for years

I know

Now, get up

Yeah, why?

They're not done yet

Boys, back to your homes

You know better

Bring your manners home with you

We have plenty of manners, mom

Well, I'm sure you do

You can't touch the hot cookies

Yeah, of course

We'll wait

You better wait

You want everything to be just right

Yeah

I've gotten so bad at frosting cookies in my old age

It's stupid

Let me just get this off

I should put this in there

Here we go

Here we go

I need that handful of cookies

Cookies look really good, mom

Thanks, baby

Of course

I need that hand

Thank you

You're welcome

Just making a mess of all this frosting

I don't think I whipped it right

Yeah, we don't need this

Just put my hair in a ponytail

Oh, that's better

All right

So are you boys doing linear studies?

Yeah

I'm learning a lot

I really like my professors, too

I'm glad

I'm glad we could pay for it

We don't want any of those student loans

We should keep that

All right

Yeah

Are you getting along with everyone?

Yeah

Are you making trouble?

It's okay, you can tell me if you're making trouble

I've always gone on a first date already

You know

Younger girls or not

Let me set this over here

Oh, okay

Okay

Older experience, girls

Older experience, you prefer the older ones?

Oh, yeah

You know, I never told your dad this, but

I was always really into my professors

Psycho

School's really good

Yeah

That's why you're cooking the best cookies ever

Yeah, because we're going to keep paying that tuition

Maybe it's because you're just starving

You need more sleep

You can't study because you've got to go find food

Yeah, I'll make it worth it

Oh, yeah

Well, they told us about these privacy laws

And you're technically not allowed to know what my grades are

Now that I'm in college, so

I'm taking advantage of that

Uh-huh, is that why I haven't been getting your mouth?

I assumed you got a P.O. box

Yup

You know, you should be smarter like your brother and not get them sent here

Oh, yeah, probably not

I'll take your advice

Yeah, your dad worries

I'm sure you boys are doing just fine

Yeah, but now he's always out of town

Yeah, I know

But you know, I found hobbies and stuff

Yeah, like what?

Uh, I'm sort of going to a Pilates class

Pilates class, yoga

Walks to the park, hiking

But you know, hiking in Nevada is just like

Oh, there's a red rock

Oh, there's another one

And then that's Nevada, so

Yeah, there's just like a lot of rocks

And not a lot of anything else

I know, and then like you step on stuff

Yeah, but I have a great mom like you at least out here

It's just a bunch of red rocks

There's really nothing to do

Yeah

I mean, there's a bunch of red rocks

But there's other types of rocks

Like what?

I haven't seen any

There's just other stuff that's hard

But anyways

My teacher told me it's Nevada, not Nevada

Listen here, young man

Where I come from, we say Nevada

Really?

Yes

But the locals?

You know damn well I'm not local

You can hear it in that accent

So how are you enjoying the new home?

Yeah?

Yeah, the home is really nice

I'm really starting to like it

And no, I haven't been here in a while

But it feels like home

It's not home without you, mom

And honestly

The other home didn't feel like home too much

But it feels a lot better how much closer we've gotten

It feels like we really crossed a bridge, you know?

Like a boundary or something

Yeah

I can't wait to eat these cookies

I'm super excited

Too bad dad's missing out

He always misses out

But at least we're here to take care of you

Yeah, we take care of you good, mom

Are you excited for the cookies, Ryan?

I'm so excited

Mom, I'm kind of tired up here on the counter

I'm going to get down, mom

My legs are killing me

You're not going to be able to smell the cookies from back there

It's okay, I have a pretty good smell

My cookies are almost done

I wish I could get some

It's okay, I can have a snack for now

A little snack

Whatever you boys want, anything I can do

The best moment ever

That every mom wants to hear

I got lucky with some pretty nice boys though

I certainly did

You're doing it with good intention

Exactly

Boys will be boys

That's right, I just wish more moms would understand that

Yeah

You got to expect a little bit

It feels like where I'm supposed to be, you know?

Yeah

I'm so sad that you're missing out on all the spring break beach parties

You could be in Cancun right now, instead you're in Nevada

Yeah, but being down here, it feels like it's where I came from

Who needs young drunk college girls when you got an awesome mom that can make you cookies?

That's what every mom secretly wants to hear

Exactly

So ready for these cookies

Fascinating, I'm going to cry

Ah

Did you bring yourself on the cookies?

No

No, I made sure he was okay

That was delicious

But you know what's better?

You guys

Have

Any milk, any cookies

Milk too?

Milk too, of course

Can't have cookies without milk

Try one, don't grab it

Grab one, wear your manners

You boys eat up and get ready for movie night like we used to do

Delicious

You're the best

Anything you guys need, just let me know

Of course mom

Oh my god, have you guys seen this movie? I just put it on

Like best movie of the year, hands down

I'm excited

No, I haven't seen it yet

It's so so so good, all the red hats

Really?

And they're like just telling everyone to look at the ground

I guess I'll have to watch more movies like this

Yeah, you should, it's so funny

But they never, they're really ambiguous about like who's who

But then they put on everyone's red hats, so you know

I'll just put this on the table so we don't have, you know

You guys should really watch this movie, it's really good

Yeah

Yeah

It's pretty good

Yeah, we should definitely watch this

Absolutely

It's so interesting

It is, and look who plays the president, like she's so good at it

Whoa

Yeah

I've seen some of her movies before

Yeah, it's a whole star-studded cat, like it's super crazy

And like the news anchor's on it

Uh huh

Yeah

Like wasn't she in that superhero movie as like the bad sister?

Yeah

Yeah

I think she had one like best supporting role like a couple years ago

Oh my gosh, she was so hot in that too, like with the like black latex

And now she's like this news anchor on this

Mhm

Black latex is cool, but

Yeah

Nude is even better

I don't know, I disagree

Well, maybe when I was your guys' ages I would

But don't tell your father

Yeah, he's really missing out

I said, that's what I said earlier, don't tell your father about when I was in college

That you were talking about older women, I was all about the professors

I said that in the kitchen

I'm just

I don't want to say anything

You either

No

Mhm

I know you don't want to think that

No way

You're the one that still gets his graze in the mouth box

You're not that bad

Jessica

Get comfortable

Oh yeah, it's always comfortable in here

Scoot

Yeah

We should get a bigger TV in here

Mhm

Ooh, watch this penny, it's really fun

Huh

Yeah, they're all playing shovels

My god, yeah, everyone's just playing shovels

Like, where do they think that shovel's gonna go?

Maybe she's gonna use the handle, maybe

I doubt it

And later they have them on this new show, I don't want to give spoilers

Yeah, I don't want to ruin the movie

No, I don't want to ruin the movie for you guys, it's just like old times

You said you haven't watched it before or you have?

I mean

Okay, I'm in this big house by myself, I need a home

I have watched the movie, but you guys should watch it

Best movie of 2020, whatever this year is

Come on mom, no spoilers

We've all lost track

Yeah, this is the best way to watch movies, with our mom

Definitely

Definitely

She's the best, she really is

Can we watch another movie after this?

Always take care of us

We'll hold your hair for you, like a good boy

Good boy

That popcorn was pretty good too

It was really good

You want some?

Um, I'm okay for now

I miss having these movie lights

You're a growing boy, I need some popcorn

I like the writing in this movie

It's very natural dialogue

I love the redhead in this movie

Yeah, she's cute

Ah, she's really cute

Those bangs

Don't tell your father I said that either

Why not?

I don't think he knows I like girls

What?

I mean, I didn't address it about the cute bangs

You and dad having that at threesome?

He's not even your dad, he's such a fucking nerd

That's where I get it from

Definitely

Do you think we'll make more cookies while we're here, mom?

If you want cookies, I'll absolutely make you cookies, baby

Yeah?

That's a great idea

Yeah, maybe not strawberry again

Yeah

Do you want chocolate?

Oh, chocolate chip?

Yeah

Yes?

Maybe I'll make them oatmeal and trick you

Or like cream-filled?

Oh

Yeah, I can make you cream

Aw, make you have a variant dessert

Not the oatmeal ones

Those ones are good

I would never do that to you, baby

No, they're not

They're delicious

The Girl Scouts always saw them and I threw that shit away

You're liars

You think they're chocolate chip and they're not

And you bite into them and you're immediately disappointed

My favorite are the Samoans

Yeah, you put them in the freezer

But you know what, enough about that

Mom makes the best cookies, doesn't she?

Hell yeah, she does

Yeah

Aw, you boys are so sweet

Take care of this

This movie just keeps getting better and better

All the transitions, I love it

Like a good movie with the family

Yeah

I like how it started out real slow

And the action keeps on happening more and more

Gotta have a good build-up

It's all about the climax

That's exactly what she's doing

She's trying to show her findings

That's my favorite part, the climax

It's not everybody's

It's just like an explosion in their face at the end

Just like kapow

I know, I love that

I love this work

The cinematic framing

I didn't know you were into production

Yeah

You're a smart boy

Maybe I'll overlook your bad grades

Or at least hide them from Dad

I like the brunette

She's cute

I wonder if there's going to be a second one

I don't know

I mean, with the ending

Oh boy, I'm worried now

Because you said you've seen it already, didn't you?

Yeah, are we about to see a clipping?

I wish there was an end credits scene

I hope so, at least

There might be

Those are the best

Those are my favorite

That's why you don't leave the movie theater

Exactly, I can't wait

I have a feeling I'm never going to leave Mom's house though

I know

I think you're right

You know, Mommy knows best

Well, sometimes

I just do my best for you boys

Yeah, we could just like take online classes

No, you need to go out there and meet people and do stuff

I don't know

You don't want to be mommy boys your whole life, do you?

I wouldn't mind that

That's so sweet

But you can help us with our homework

Yeah, you used to

I know, I mastered degrees and now I bake cookies

This part's really good

It's a really good one?

This part's really good, yeah

Nice

Do you like this part too?

Oh, well

When they finally do their hair and makeup

I don't know

When they finally do their hair and makeup

This is really good

This does not seem anything like the trailers

Yeah, I don't remember this scene

Don't you hate when they show a trailer and then they don't actually have that part in the movie?

So stupid

Yeah

What? No, keep it down, I'm trying to watch this

Oh my god, the score on this movie is insane

Do you hear that track?

Yeah, it's really good

I heard that I'm supposed to shut up so you can focus on the movie

Manners

Sorry mom

I taught you better than that

Wow

I wonder if that's foreshadowing something

You can tell

Something big's about to happen

You see that mom?

This movie's crazy

I told you

You told me right

Nothing like movie night with mom

Like five men

I love movie nights

Dad is really missing out

Such a good movie

Too bad he couldn't be here

He's always gone

Right?

But it's like we're the men of the house now, you know?

Yeah

Feels good

To be the men of the house

I know

Of course, babies

I'm always taking care of your mommy

Yeah, we take care of you real good

Yes

Oh

This seems really good

Super interesting

Feels like a good part's coming up

This is a great idea, bro

Right?

Isn't it?

Yeah

This part's really good

Isn't it, mom?

You have to pay attention to this part

You shift up the whole background more

You shift up the whole end of the movie

Pay attention

You should

I'm paying attention

You know, we should spend more time together, mom

Oh, no

It's really good

Thank you, baby

It is good

Thank you

You care you don't want more popcorn?

Yeah, I'm sure

I don't think I need a snack right now

I feel like a good part's about to come on

I don't want to make you guys pause it

Oh, that's good

So consider it, baby

Hmm

It's a long movie

Yeah, it is

Well, yeah, but it's an all-time movie, boys

And it's such a good movie

Yeah

I'm surprised I haven't seen this yet

Yeah, I'm really surprised I haven't seen this movie before

Oh, no

It's really good

It's so good

Yeah, it is

I feel like it's building something

Yeah

It's a really good part

Yeah

It's getting really good

Yeah

It's getting

Yeah, that girl's real pretty

You wear too, mom

Yeah, this part right here?

Yeah

Hmm

Things are getting good now

Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm

Well, these days you're gonna have to actually go to a movie theater

Mm-hmm

What do you think?

Well, I'm gonna take my dick right now

I know, we should

Oh, my God

Mm-hmm

Oh

Is there anything I can do for you?

Oh, you're the sweetest mom I've ever had

Aw, thank you, honey

Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm

Can we eat the cookies?

Mm-hmm

Oh, what did you say?

Anytime, baby

Oh

Oh, yeah

Mm-hmm

You were right, this is a good movie

Mm-hmm

It's pretty good, isn't it?

Mm-hmm, I know

It's not too bad

It's awesome

I think the redhead is the best actress

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Mom, is it okay that my balls are subbing your cheek?

Mm-hmm

Awesome

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Hey, you want to switch around?

Yeah

Let me get in there

Yeah, yeah, yeah

We'll pay attention

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Mm-hmm

Oh

Oh

Shh

Oh

Mm-hmm

Oh

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

It's a really good part

I feel like it's about to get to the climax

Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm

Oh, fuck

Thanks again for inviting us to watch this movie

Mm-hmm

Oh

Mm-hmm

I still think the best part of today

was the cookie

Yeah, the cookies are pretty good

Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm

We'll have to watch this movie again sometime

Yeah

Mm-hmm

Oh, yeah

Mm-hmm

All right

Oh, my God

It's getting to the really good part

Oh, yeah

It's behind that door

Mm-hmm

Oh, yeah

Mm-hmm

Whoa

Oh, shit

Oh

Oh, my God

Oh, shit, the dude's alive

He's alive

Dude

Best movie ever

Oh, my God

I think it's getting to the climax

Mm-hmm

Oh, yeah

Oh, the movie's almost over, babies

Oh, yeah

Yeah

Oh, my God

Such a good boy for mommy

Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

Oh, my two good boys

Am I coming in glasses?

Yeah

Oh, of course

Oh

Oh, you're such a good boy

Oh

Oh

Oh, fuck

What about you, bad grader?

Oh

I mean, you're good at something, baby

Mm-hmm

Oh

Mm-hmm

You'd never leave mommy alone on spring break

Oh

Moving in next Friday?

Definitely

Oh

Oh