All language subtitles for archie_bunker_s_place_s04e21_bunker_madness

Do you want your dungarees washed?

Will you shrink them?

Well, try not to.

Oh, no, I want you to shrink them. You
see, Phil Rogers is going to be here at

my party, and he is so cute.

Why'd you bother inviting anybody else?

It's no fun to be with Phil unless
everybody else can see it.

Billy, Billy, my lucky bowling shirt is
nowhere to be seen.

The one with the happy face bowling ball
on it?

Yeah, with the eyes and the smile.

Well, did you look in your closet?

I can't stand looking in my closet. It
confuses me.

I need more money.

What for?

For more food.

See, Eric Johnson is going to be here,
and he likes potato chips. Except Steve

Kremsky likes pink popcorn.

Krem is so cool.

This is so torture.

Tony, I ain't interested in what your
annoying little friends like to eat. How

much money do you want?

Five dollars.

Five dollars. Hey, listen. Would you
take a ten and cancel a party?

I'll tell you what.

It's too late to cancel the party.

But she'll take the ten and buy the
things she needs and some onion dip

Wasn't that easy?

Yes.

I wanted to give you my bowling shirt
here.

I found it in my closet. Why didn't you
tell me it was there, huh?

If I can't rely on you around here,
where am I?

What do you want me to do with this
stuff?

Just separate it into whites and colors.

I know you're good at that.

It don't be fresh, huh?

What the hell do you call this?

What?

This here.

It's a... pot. Yeah, a pot.

How the hell did it get in here?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

You don't know. Whose is it, huh?

You mean this ain't mine?

This here is yours, Barbara Lee, ain't
it?

Heinous!

I can't believe this.

I can't believe you bring that junk into
my house.

I'm sorry. You're sorry?

What the hell is that, you're sorry?

That is a killer weed.

And one puff of that and you're dead. I
mean to say the next thing you're going

to have straws up your nose sucking for
the cocaine.

The next thing you're going to have a
needle in your arm for the heroin there.

The next thing you're going to be a 50
-pound corpse pushing up daisies in the

cemetery.

Take it easy, Art. Don't tell me take it
easy.

You know how I feel about drugs in the
house.

You've been talking two or three times
about finding a place of your own.

And I always talked you out of it.

Well, maybe I shouldn't have did that.
Maybe I did the wrong thing.

Maybe that's what you ought to do.

Go find a place of your own.

Billy.

And maybe you ought to start looking
today.

Today.

Signed a contract, Marina. You agreed to
be surrogate mother to my child.

Don't be deceived by appearances, Zach.

They look not yours.

This child is Randall's.

He joined the same insemination bank you
did.

I've been cheating on you.

How?

I switched test tubes.

Lord, I may throw up.

I got two twin bags of potato chips and
three

bags of popcorn.

I was going to get some candy, but Alan
Myers faced some breaking out.

She starts crying every time she sees
chocolate. She is so sensitive.

That's swell, kid.

I thought you hated soap operas.

Yeah, I do.

Is something the matter?

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

As usual.

Is Billy home yet?

No, Billy ain't home.

I don't want to talk about Billy need.

Billy's leaving this house, that's what.

Why?

Because I told him to.

Why?

Because when people are doing things
that I don't want them doing, I don't

a damn if they do them no more, but I
ain't gonna let them be doing them in my

house. That's all.

So now you know, and case closed.

Case closed.

You never talk to me.

about?

It's about marijuana.

What about it?

Really? She was smoking it, bringing it
into the house.

Yeah, I can see you was knocked over by
that. Well, so was I, and that's why

she's leaving here.

Did you catch her smoking it?

I caught her with this stuff downstairs
in the basement when she was doing the

laundry. She admitted it was hers.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes, yes.

Why don't you just go on now and get
ready for your nice little party?

Now, listen, I want to tell you
something.

How bad did you feel about this here?

I feel ten times worse.

Hi, Billy.

Hi.

I wanted to... All right, we'll talk
down there.

Would you cover for me for a sec? Sure,
thanks.

Sit here.

Billy, I wanted to tell him the truth.

I just couldn't.

It's okay.

I think for now...

We better not say any more about it.

Stephanie, he was really hurt.

He'd be much more hurt if he found out
it was you.

You know, I don't know why people make
such a big deal over pot.

I used to say that, too.

My friends and I, we used to sit around
for hours getting loaded and laughing

and eating munchies.

Because it was fun.

Yeah.

Except for the 20 pounds I gained. I
thought it was fun.

Then one night I didn't smoke.

And I just looked around at all the
people who were.

Yeah?

I just didn't like what I saw.

What did they have, two heads?

Stephanie, you've heard all the reasons
against it, and you're old enough to

make your own decision.

I'm not going to lecture you.

Pick up, dirty sandwich.

Come on, Billy.

Everybody I know is on something.

Not everybody, Steph.

Not me.

You see the creme over there?

What?

He's just sitting there.

He is so stoned.

I'm stopped. Great party.

Hey, kids, give me a break and a noise
out of here, huh?

I mean, turn down the stereo. What do
you say, huh? Do you hear me? Turn down

the stereo.

Hey, if I turn it down any lower, I
can't feel the bass.

Man, you whoopers are terrible.

Oh, well, I can't help it, kid. The
onion dip is doing it to everybody.

Excuse me. Oh, yeah, sure.

I want to stand in your way. All right.

Holy cow, look at this. Sandra and
Gamara here.

Hey, kid.

Let me ask you something.

Now, you don't know nothing.

Honey, do you know what this here could
lead to?

Uh -huh.

Well, you might be with a poor part.

Mr. Bunker, where's your bathroom?

The bathroom's upstairs.

Wait, wait, wait.

Now, you ain't going up there to meet
some girl, are you?

Oh, no. Me and Eddie and Richie are
going up there. All right, then go

How much longer?

God.

I don't understand it, you know. I don't
understand why young kids need all this

music and food and girls and dancing to
have a good time. There's so much more

to life than that.

I mean, look at you.

Nice, quiet young fella there. You're
not running around like a jerk.

Why can't they all be like you?

Did you ever wonder how they put the M
on the M &M?

Well,

I don't know. I would guess that they
got little midges painted on there with

teeny weeny brushes.

That's so awesome, man.

Hey, Steph.

You look a little down.

I'm okay.

Candy and Kathy are in the backyard.

Come on out with me.

I know how I can cheer you up.

Okay.

But I'll tell you something that boggles
my mind down to the present day. It's

the thermos.

Because you put hot coffee in the
thermos, it stays hot.

And then again, you put cold beer in
that thermos.

Stay cool.

Now, how does it know?

That's deep.

Lighten up, Steph. It's a party.

My uncle found my stuff.

Oh, that's nothing. My old man found my
stuff once. It's no big deal.

What'd he do? He almost killed me. I
just laughed at him. I mean, who really

cares? Yeah.

This is really bad.

My cousin took the blame for me. Boy,
are you lucky.

Yeah, I tried to blame my sister, but it
didn't work.

My father just kept hitting me and
yelling, your sister's only three, your

sister's only three.

Here, Steph.

Uh -uh.

I thought you wanted some smoke.

No. Not now.

You gotta not tell it to three of you.
There's no sense spraying my disordering

in the air. I know the smell of
marijuana when I see it get the hell out

Party's over. I want this house cleared
of all of you, dear. But I want

everybody's name before you leave, dear.

You, what is your name there?

Ringo Starr.

You're in big trouble there, Ringo.

I want everybody's name, I said.

What happened?

What happened?

I'll tell you what happened. I went
upstairs for a perfectly normal and

reason. What do I find in the toilet up
there but three dope dreams?

That's what happened.

You stop yelling at her. Oh, look at
this one here coming down.

You. Don't be talking to me what to do.

I trusted you.

And you stabbed me right in the back.

Is that the truth?

Why didn't you tell me that?

I was scared.

Why didn't you say nothing?

Because I didn't want you to do exactly
what you're doing now.

I made a mistake.

You're damn right you made a mistake,
because now this here kid is in for it.

No, you're in for it.

If you don't calm down and have a long
talk.

You don't tell me what to do.

You and me is going to have a long talk.

Sit down in that chair.

What the hell is going on around here?

Are you hooked on junk?

No. Then will you tell me what you're
doing with this?

All the kids have it.

I don't give a damn about all the kids.
You ain't all the kids.

Yes, I am.

No, you ain't.

You're my kid.

We had our long talk.

You go upstairs to your room.

Don't you know that if you got sick on
that dead jump,

and anything bad was to happen to you,

I don't know what I'd do.

Does Billy still have to go?

Oh, listen,

Billy, that's a whole lot of kettle of
worms there, you know.

But no, she don't have to go.

To tell you the truth, I wish she
wouldn't go.

I really wish she wouldn't go.

He doesn't want you to go.

He said so.

Billy,

what will I do?

I mean, without you.

You'll be fine. I mean, we don't see
that much of each other anyway.

Neither working or in my class or
somewhere.

But at least I know you're here.

Look, I can call you twice a day.

And you can always come down to the
restaurant for lunch.

But you won't be here, Billy.

Is that so much?

It is to me.

If I stay, if I stay, what

I need from you is good sense.

I mean, look at you. You're all grown up
already. You have to stop thinking the

way your friends do.

Start thinking for yourself.

I did, tonight.

You want to help me unpack?

I don't hear no talking up there.

Just a minute.

Did you yell?

Yeah, I yelled, but I ain't mad.

I mean, I ain't mad at nobody.

If everything's back to normal, which I
hope, I was wondering if anybody had

any ideas about a late pan? Pancake or
two.

I'll tell you what.

You do the boxes and I'll do the
pancakes.

Billy.

You are so...