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1
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:08,029
Ave Maria, Raul. Mira esta tomate aqui.
2
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What? Look at the tomato just come in,
boss.
3
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Fresh. See you tonight.
4
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You too.
5
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I don't know. Give me a hint.
6
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Oh.
7
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Aunt Sophie?
8
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Cheryl?
9
00:00:30,059 --> 00:00:33,380
Cheryl, what are you doing here? I mean,
you didn't call or anything.
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I called your office. They told me you
were here.
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I wanted to surprise you. Oh, you did?
12
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Oh, koala bear.
13
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Koala bear.
14
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Billy, this is Cheryl Dodge. She's an
old friend of mine. Old friend?
15
00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:54,200
Hey, you can do better than that, koala
bear.
16
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After all, we were engaged once.
17
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:02,050
Engaged? Gary, you never told me. And
Cheryl, this is Billy Bunker. She's a
18
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waitress here.
19
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A waitress?
20
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:09,630
And a very close personal friend.
21
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Thank you.
22
00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:13,870
Sit, please.
23
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:18,950
Gosh, five years.
24
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You look great, Gary.
25
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Oh, I feel great. But you, you look
terrific.
26
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Doesn't she look terrific?
27
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Yeah, she looks terrific.
28
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You know, Cheryl's a model. She does
magazine ads and billboards.
29
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I thought you looked familiar.
30
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I saw your bra ad in the subway.
31
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Really?
32
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Advertising it called it provocative.
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Hard to tell. Someone drew hair on your
chest.
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The subways are really something, aren't
they?
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Well, being a waitress, I have to get
back to work.
36
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,840
Look, Billy, why don't you just stay and
join us? No, no, no. Now, koala bear,
37
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just sit down and talk.
38
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:06,960
I have been seeing your face all over
town. You must be doing fabulously well.
39
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,360
I've been lucky.
40
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:13,160
What about you, your own law firm? Oh,
come on, it's not exactly my law firm.
41
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,500
It's me and a dozen relatives.
42
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,520
We're kind of the Osmond family of the
legal profession.
43
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So, um, tell me, you happy?
44
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Oh, I've never been happier.
45
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That's great.
46
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I'm getting divorced.
47
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,520
Oh, uh, sorry to hear that. Who's
handling it?
48
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I hope you can.
49
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,980
Oh, Cheryl, I'm not a divorce attorney.
50
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Gary, please, I am desperate. I had to
fire my lawyer.
51
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Yesterday in his office, he tried to
undress me.
52
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So unprofessional.
53
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You never do that in the office.
54
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,280
That's why I need your help.
55
00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:58,420
Look, Cheryl, I can't just jump into a
case like... All you have to do is pinch
56
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hit.
57
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,060
Come over to my place tonight. We can go
over the file.
58
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:08,500
Uh, no. No, no, no, no. No, tonight's
out. It won't take long.
59
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:10,640
I'll fix dinner.
60
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,220
I'm sorry, Cheryl. I just cannot come
over tonight.
61
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,320
Why don't you come over to the office
now?
62
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,140
I can't, Gary. I got a photo session in
40 minutes.
63
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,780
I hate to do this to you.
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But I really am in a bind.
65
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I got to be in court tomorrow.
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Tomorrow?
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Please.
68
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Gary.
69
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For old time's sake.
70
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,520
You ever seen this girl before?
71
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,140
Yeah. I seen her in her brown panties in
Times Square.
72
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Not a billboard arch. She's a model.
73
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,920
She's also his ex -fiance.
74
00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:57,160
Is that... What are you trying to tell
me? That that beautiful girl there
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00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:58,220
married Rabinowitz?
76
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,540
So she's a model. So she's gorgeous.
77
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,220
So she's probably rich.
78
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:05,620
Big deal.
79
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,860
Tuna salad, table six.
80
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,800
Look, Billy, I'm afraid something's come
up tonight. Cheryl has a legal
81
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,800
emergency. She's got a messy divorce
hearing tomorrow.
82
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:20,240
What a shame.
83
00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:25,160
So I'm going to have to go over to her
place and go through her, you know...
84
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,160
briefs. Yeah.
85
00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:27,340
No.
86
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,680
Well, yes, legally speaking.
87
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,740
I mean, it's strictly business. I have
to determine her alimony and assess her
88
00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:35,740
personal property.
89
00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:37,780
You look pretty good to me.
90
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,630
How come you never told me about her?
91
00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:46,010
Billy, that was five years ago. I was
still in law school.
92
00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:48,430
It's ancient history.
93
00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:52,290
Well, it looks like history's repeating
itself, doesn't it?
94
00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:55,090
Oh, come on. Now, Billy.
95
00:04:56,390 --> 00:04:57,390
Ah!
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My hand is under this.
97
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,070
What are you doing?
98
00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:07,750
What goes on here, huh? I mean, what's
going on between the two of you?
99
00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,410
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
100
00:05:12,910 --> 00:05:15,550
Rabinowitz, I want to talk to you.
101
00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:26,850
Let's get this thing straightened out,
all right?
102
00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:29,750
What is it with you?
103
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:35,890
I mean, first you go and get yourself
tangled up in my niece's affectations,
104
00:05:35,890 --> 00:05:39,600
then the next thing I see you kissing
that poster girl. Right in front of her.
105
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,780
Are you some kind of a degenerate?
106
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,860
Look, Bunker, what I do is none of your
business.
107
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,400
Listen, you want to go fool around with
that model, that's fine.
108
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,200
But leave Billy alone.
109
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I don't want to go fooling around with
that model.
110
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Are you telling me that she was willing
to marry you?
111
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Yeah.
112
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Why?
113
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,740
I mean, you haven't heard about us, sir.
114
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Jewish man?
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Oh, come on, I bet it was.
116
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,820
Cut it out, will you?
117
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I mean, that's true about the colors,
but not about the Jews.
118
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Thanks for talking to me, Bunker. Hold
it, hold it, hold it, hold it. That's
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you got to say to me?
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That's all.
121
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:35,140
Except that this conversation, as
always, has been sparkling, provocative,
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strange.
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I'm going to be watching you,
Rabinowitz. I'm going to be watching you
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hawk.
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Oh, I don't know, Cheryl. I mean, under
these circumstances... Oh, no. No, no.
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No more for me.
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I'm going to make a motion for a
continuance. The respondent is simply
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What?
129
00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:06,810
You're still adorable, you know that?
130
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:10,330
Yeah.
131
00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:19,230
You know, I think it's my skin. I took
your advice and I never use soap.
132
00:07:20,630 --> 00:07:25,690
Remember when you took me to Catskills
and we went skinny dipping at night?
133
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Yeah, I remember.
134
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,550
Uncle Abe would never let me forget it.
135
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I came out of the water and I bumped
right into him.
136
00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:35,070
Actually, I think it was the highlight
of his life. Oh, poor guy.
137
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Thank God you knew CPR.
138
00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:41,110
Oh, we had a great time.
139
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,850
Whatever happened to us?
140
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You don't remember?
141
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:53,350
Well, I took you to the country club
dance and you wound up going home with
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00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:54,350
golf bro.
143
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I was terrible.
144
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Mm -hmm.
145
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:01,990
Did I hurt you real bad?
146
00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:03,370
Oh, no.
147
00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:07,270
I just didn't date for a year, and my
whole family thought I turned gay.
148
00:08:07,650 --> 00:08:08,650
Oh, you're not serious.
149
00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:12,130
Really? My mother was so upset, she sold
my cemetery plot.
150
00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:17,130
You still crack me up?
151
00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:22,530
Please don't. Yeah, I owe you one, Koala
Bear.
152
00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:28,130
No, you don't.
153
00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:29,390
Yes, I do.
154
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,210
Don't I?
155
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,470
No.
156
00:08:39,690 --> 00:08:40,690
Maybe.
157
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:48,690
Oh,
158
00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:52,709
what's with you?
159
00:08:52,710 --> 00:08:54,770
You look like you're falling asleep over
your lunch.
160
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,130
Billy kept me up all night.
161
00:08:58,250 --> 00:08:59,209
Oh, yeah?
162
00:08:59,210 --> 00:09:00,210
How'd you do that?
163
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:03,930
She was pacing the floor, and when she
wasn't pacing the floor, she was
164
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:04,909
her teeth.
165
00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:07,390
Oh, she gets all over that Gary.
166
00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:08,690
God,
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00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:10,210
what a waste of time.
168
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:13,970
It's not a waste of time. She likes him
a lot.
169
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:18,450
Why are relationships so complicated?
170
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:23,610
My advice to you is give up, boys, now.
Save yourself the trouble.
171
00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:27,270
The kind of way you're growing up,
sometimes I feel like shoving you in one
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00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,129
them condoms.
173
00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:29,150
It might be nice.
174
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,260
Yeah. Well?
175
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:32,800
I weren't Jewish.
176
00:09:35,580 --> 00:09:37,860
Well, I'll tell you one thing you can
do.
177
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,480
You can go to school. Do that, huh?
178
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,040
See you later.
179
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:43,700
Bye.
180
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:52,560
Uh, Billy, Billy, uh, what is all this
pacing floors and grinding teeth?
181
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,920
What are you talking about?
182
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,700
I'm talking about Gary Rabinowitz.
183
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:00,730
Why don't you dump that guy, huh?
184
00:10:00,970 --> 00:10:03,470
He ain't never gonna be through to you.
185
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:10,690
Don't you know that? I mean, about
Jewish guys that... Oh, about Jewish
186
00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:14,010
The world's famous sky chasers.
187
00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:17,510
Where do you get these things?
188
00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:21,230
Where do I get these things? I get them
out of the Bible, don't you understand?
189
00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:24,090
That it's a tradition with the Jews.
190
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,940
It comes from the time way back when
they was wandering for 40 years in the
191
00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:31,560
desert with nothing to keep in company
but bagels and camels.
192
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:35,240
Need I say more?
193
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,480
I wish you'd say less.
194
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,960
I wish you'd do like I said.
195
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,620
Read the Bible.
196
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:42,680
Do that.
197
00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:46,360
It wouldn't do you no harm to read the
Bible neither there, sis.
198
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,360
Oh, Lord.
199
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:50,819
What do you think?
200
00:10:50,820 --> 00:10:51,820
What is it, Harriet?
201
00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:55,430
I don't think Rabinowitz would do that.
He probably just went to her place, did
202
00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:56,710
the legal work, and went home.
203
00:10:57,170 --> 00:11:00,810
If you believe that, Harry, then I got
some swamp land in Nicaragua I'd like to
204
00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:01,810
sell you.
205
00:11:04,990 --> 00:11:11,750
You guys have a one -track mind.
206
00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:15,710
Morning, Harry.
207
00:11:16,150 --> 00:11:17,450
Strong coffee, please.
208
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,450
Sure. Tough night, huh?
209
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:21,540
You have a one -track mind, Harry.
210
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,360
Morning, Billy.
211
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,300
Good afternoon.
212
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:36,880
You look tired.
213
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:38,300
Did you work hard last night?
214
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,340
Oh, yeah.
215
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:43,020
Don't ask.
216
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:47,660
You know, that previous attorney just
bungled the whole thing. I didn't even
217
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:48,660
home till two in the morning.
218
00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:51,570
Gee, two in the morning, huh?
219
00:11:52,390 --> 00:11:55,410
Yeah, I was really beat.
220
00:11:56,810 --> 00:12:01,010
Yeah, well, serving a client takes a lot
of strength.
221
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:04,230
Yeah.
222
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:11,730
I called you every hour on the hour till
6 a .m.
223
00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:14,470
You never went home last night.
224
00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:21,840
What? No, actually, you're right. I kind
of fell asleep on Cheryl's couch from
225
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:22,840
exhaustion.
226
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:25,420
Yeah.
227
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:31,760
Rabinowitz, I may be inexperienced, but
I'm not an idiot.
228
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,340
You slept with her, didn't you?
229
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,080
What can I say?
230
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,840
We had a little wine.
231
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,880
We started talking.
232
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:10,500
It just happened.
233
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,260
Do you know why I tried to call you last
night?
234
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:25,640
I was calling. you to apologize for
being so immature and for not trusting
235
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,080
It was an impulse.
236
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:33,720
Impulse?
237
00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:39,100
Well, so is this.
238
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,200
Did I just hear her tell you to stay out
of her life?
239
00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:58,960
It's fair service, Lord.
240
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,220
You better come clean, Dolan, or I'll
beat it out of you.
241
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,620
No, no.
242
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,320
Don't hit me.
243
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:11,560
I'll tell you.
244
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,700
Don't hit me, Pop. Don't hit me with the
shovel.
245
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,080
out there at one o 'clock in the
morning.
246
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,220
What a surprise.
247
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:42,860
Bunker, I have to see Billy.
248
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:47,520
Come on, will you? You called up here
twelve times tonight. She wouldn't come
249
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,000
the phone. Can't you take a hint?
250
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:50,720
Look, I know that...
251
00:15:01,589 --> 00:15:02,830
Kill, Rusty, kill.
252
00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:04,690
Oh, no,
253
00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:09,170
no, nothing. A couple of dogs is
fighting on the porch. Come on back to
254
00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:12,150
Bunker, you have to let me in.
255
00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:14,190
I have to let you in?
256
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:17,170
Who are you, immigration? Who am I, a
chink?
257
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,650
Billy says to let you in.
258
00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:25,270
I knew this was going to happen.
259
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,650
Hi. Thanks, Steffi.
260
00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:31,540
Well, well.
261
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:35,880
He's a little rusty. He lost his
bladder, but he ain't lost his teeth.
262
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:43,840
Billy, I couldn't sleep. I had to see
you.
263
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:45,940
Can we talk?
264
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:47,760
Please.
265
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,760
Come on, Rabinowitz. Give us a break.
266
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,420
It's one o 'clock in the morning.
267
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:56,880
Come on in the kitchen.
268
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000
Isn't it exciting?
269
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:06,020
What do you mean exciting?
270
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,340
When are you going to learn to recognize
torture?
271
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,820
You really hurt me.
272
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,600
I know.
273
00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:19,860
I'm sorry.
274
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,780
I feel sick about it.
275
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,840
I have hives all over my body.
276
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:28,840
Good.
277
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:34,920
Gary, it's not like we're married.
278
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:39,560
I guess that you have the right to just
go and do whatever you want to do.
279
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,060
I thought that you cared more than that.
280
00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:47,780
Billy, I do.
281
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,280
Well, you have a funny way of showing
it.
282
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,360
Billy, I can't take back what I did.
283
00:16:57,340 --> 00:17:01,480
But you have to believe me. There's
nothing between Cheryl and me. I...
284
00:17:01,870 --> 00:17:04,069
I have no feelings left for her at all.
285
00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:06,990
No feelings? You were engaged to her.
286
00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:09,750
Billy, that was such a fluky thing.
287
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:16,310
I couldn't really believe that a girl
like Cheryl actually liked me.
288
00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:19,390
I mean, considering my past history with
women.
289
00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:23,730
I mean, I've dated some major lead
neurotics.
290
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:25,869
Dina Plotkin.
291
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:29,230
She carried mice in her purse.
292
00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:34,190
Let's not forget Evelyn Korshak.
293
00:17:36,110 --> 00:17:37,110
Oy.
294
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:39,690
Compulsive eater.
295
00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:45,770
I took her to my cousin's wedding, and
right during the ceremony, she snuck
296
00:17:45,770 --> 00:17:49,450
the kitchen and ate the top two tiers
off the wedding cake.
297
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:53,090
Including that little plastic bride and
groom.
298
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:55,970
Hey, it's not funny.
299
00:17:56,190 --> 00:17:58,410
I had a bad streak. It could happen to
anybody.
300
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,490
And then I met Cheryl.
301
00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:10,070
For three months, I felt like Robert
Redford.
302
00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:15,870
Well, I'm sorry that I'm not Cheryl.
303
00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:19,670
I'm not sorry.
304
00:18:22,230 --> 00:18:25,930
You laugh at my Peter Lorre imitations.
305
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,070
You appreciate me.
306
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,060
You've already given me more than Cheryl
ever could.
307
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,940
Except for last night.
308
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:51,440
Billy, I've told you, I'm not going to
rush you into anything.
309
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,540
I'm happy right now just to be with you.
310
00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:15,610
Billy, I love you.
311
00:19:27,190 --> 00:19:28,510
You guys made up?
312
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:30,570
Did you kiss him?
313
00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:32,430
I'll never tell.
314
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:34,470
Good night, Steph.
315
00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:51,410
Do you ever get hungry this time of
night?
316
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:55,230
I do, and I haven't eaten all day.
317
00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:58,130
Should we have some chicken?
318
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,590
I think we should.
319
00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,310
Don't go, Archie. We should.
320
00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:06,570
We should.
321
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:12,410
Thanks.
322
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,500
Oh, my God, it is terrible.
323
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,980
I thought I was having a bad nightmare
in there, but this one I see before me
324
00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:26,980
even moister.
325
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:30,900
Look at the meat in my chicken here.
326
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,420
Shades of the meathead.
23743
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