All language subtitles for archie_bunker_s_place_s02e01_archie_alone_part_1

Thank you.

How was school yesterday?

Fine. How was work?

Oh, terrific, terrific.

I got everything under control, like
usual.

We need milk.

Yeah, I see that. Well, I'll bring home
some for work tonight.

I was thinking, this weekend... Oh, hey,
hey, hey, hey. I got this weekend all

planned for us. Look at this here. Look
what I got, huh?

Two reserved seats, tickets to the
circus. That's for Saturday afternoon,

then on Sunday we go to movies again.

I don't want to go to the circus on
Saturday.

Oh, come on. I mean, what kid don't want
to go to the circus? Can you think of a

better way to spend a beautiful Saturday
afternoon?

Yes.

I'd like to go to the cemetery.

You said we would.

Oh, yeah, but I already bought the
tickets.

You promised.

I know I promised, but I didn't say
when.

I'll get that.

Oh, hi there, Polly. Come on in, come on
in. How you doing? Hi, Arch. I'm fine.

You certainly sound chipper. How's it
going?

Oh, with us, oh, fine. We're getting
along swell here. Look at this. We're

having breakfast.

How are you, Stephanie?

Okay.

Arch, I came for my casserole dish.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, uh...

Oh, uh, Polly, it's in here, you know,
amongst a lot of other odds and ends.

Can you find it in there?

I found it.

You didn't eat it.

Don't you like lasagna?

Lasagna, is that what that used to be?

We love lasagna. We thought it was a
tuna casserole.

Well, uh, I'll get all of that out
there.

I'll get it out.

Hey, looks like it's trying to get out
by itself.

Well, look at the time, kiddo. Maybe you
better be running off to school, huh?

What about this Saturday?

Oh, now, come on. Saturday we're going
to the circus. I got the tickets, huh?

Hey, look, we got to get there early so
we get used to the smell of the

elephants. So then we have our hot dogs
and our peanuts and our cotton candy.

Then we won't get nauseated.

Take somebody else to the circus.

Hey, kid, ain't you forgetting
something?

Bye.

All right. Have a nice day.

Watch yourself crossing at the corner
there.

I don't talk to nobody.

What's she got against the circus?

Oh, nothing, nothing, nothing. No, sure,
she goes to the circus. She was

thinking about making a visitation to
the... Well, you know, Meadow

Glen.

Ah, but I figure what's the rush? It's
only a little over a month. You might as

well give the grass a chance to grow out
there before you start walking all

around, you know?

You know what I mean?

I know what you mean.

Now, just yell over the fence if you
need me, okay?

Yeah, I'll do that, Polly.

Bye, Arch. Yeah, yeah, thanks a million.

All right, give my regards to Ed, huh?

I will.

I'm just trying to tell Harry that most
of the traffic that comes into the city

comes over the Triborough Bridge.

Well, I say it's the Queensborough.

Are you trying to tell me my business?

I've been a bridge inspector here for 28
years, and I'm telling you it's the

Triborough. Hey, how do you inspect
bridges when you're always in here, huh?

Easy. I simply consult my manifest, find
out that today's the day for the

Brooklyn Bridge, and I mark it unsafe.

Hey, Bond, try some of these new
cashews.

Yeah, they're excellent.

I got them at a gourmet place in the
village.

Gee, thanks, Mr. Van. You know, I really
love cashews.

You guys, is there no end to your
merriment?

Oh, jeez, fellas. I hate to interrupt
important business, but where's my oven

cleaner, huh? Archie's bringing it over.
He's got a couple of errands to go on

first. We're trying to keep him busy.

You know, I can't help thinking of my
cousin, Eddie.

It was awful.

What's with him?

Well, he's a lot like Arch. I mean, he
relied on his wife for everything.

And she passed away in his sleep one
night.

Quietly.

Just like Edith.

It was a hodge in him.

It was terrible.

What happened?

He couldn't handle it. He went to
pieces.

But not all hodge, huh?

He's doing fine.

And I hope it stays that way.

Listen, we're all trying to keep him
happy, ain't we?

We're all keeping his spirits up.

You could do that by breathing on him.

Jesus, stuff costs a fortune. Do you
have to cook like a slob?

Look who's calling who. Don't argue.

You're right, Arch.

I'll try to watch it.

Hi, Linda.

Oh, here.

You got stuff back in the office for me,
huh?

I got a latch to fix on the back door,
and I got a look at the leak in the

ceiling there. And this here, Mari, this
is the job for you.

Oh, glad to do it.

Is that for your toilet, Arch?

No, Barney, it's for my goldfish bowl.

Goldfish bowl!

What the hell was so funny?

It's not what you said, it's how you
said it. It's all in the timing.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I was never that funny before.

Well, what can I say, Arch? Like good
scotch, you get better with age.

Like a good bartender, pour me a beer,
huh?

Anything you want.

Who got it this time?

I got it this time, Mr. Bernard.

How come you ain't laughing at that,
huh? You said I was funny. Ain't that a

joke? That's too childish to be funny.

Then why was Mr. Bernard wetting his
pants here?

Bobby, I know what you're doing. I know
what you're all doing.

Don't do it no more. You don't have to
tiptoe around me. You're right, Arch.

You're right.

And you don't have to be always agreeing
with me, neither.

Okay, Arch. Anything you say.

You've done it again, you dope. You're
right.

And still again.

Yeah, I know.

You'll be better off in Brooklyn,
Barney.

Yeah, I think I'll go inspect my fridge.

Hello, Mr. Klein. Is Mr. Bunker in yet?
Oh, yeah. You've knocked him down. Hey,

Archie, this man was here to see you
yesterday. I told him to come around

Mr.

Bunker. Hi.

Jim Spencer, Fidelity Insurance.

It's about your wife's policy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You are a tough
man to track down.

Yeah, well, I've been pretty busy
lately. To tell you the truth, I'm very

right now, setting up for the lunch
rush, you know, and I gotta go back and

it, rage, and tell it. Oh, well, this
won't take but a minute.

Okay, if we sit here?

Please accept condolences on behalf of
myself and Fidelity Insurance on the

death of your wife, Judith.

That was easy.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Please forgive
me. I have trouble reading my own

handwriting. Maybe I should have become
a doctor, huh?

I, uh...

I have here a beneficiary death claim
which states that Edith Bunker died on

date indicated. And if you just sign it
right there, I'll present you with a

check for $5 ,000.

I ain't gonna sign that.

What?

I don't want to be no beneficiary.

What do you people think, that I can
just sign a person off the wall like

I don't want it. Just send it out to my
daughter in California. It's Gloria

Sturrock. She lives in Santa Barbara.

Well... Why don't you do that, Mr.
Bunker? I mean, you can endorse the

right over to her. But you see, as
beneficiary, I need your signature on

death claim.

I ain't signing no death claim.

You're a big company.

Can't you just leave me alone and do
what I'm asking you to do? Send it out

there to my daughter.

Maybe I'd better call the home office.
Well, listen, use the payphone down the

subway, huh? This one's out of order.

It's out of order.

Archie Bunker's place ain't Bunker here.

Hold on a minute.

Down the subway, eh?

I'm back.

Yes, that's right. Stephanie Mills.

What do you mean? She's fine.

What?

Yeah, well, no, I didn't know.

I'll handle it.

All right, all right, all right, I'll
handle it.

Why?

Oh, holy cow.

What happened?

It's the kid.

She ain't been in school for a week.

Hi, everybody.

How you doing, honey?

Fine.

Well, so how was school today?

Fine.

What did they line you?

History.

How Marco Polo opened trade with China.

Richard E. Nixon done that? You're
lying.

You wasn't in school today.

In fact, you ain't been in school all
week.

Don't use your hands.

I'm going to use my hands on you if you
don't get out of here.

Gosh.

You and me is going to have a little
talk in private back in the office. Go

ahead.

What are you two looking at?

Who's looking?

This ain't like you, kiddo. This ain't
like you at all.

What have you been doing? Where have you
been going?

To the library.

Every day? Nobody can read every day.

I went to a museum.

Mostly I sit in the park and think.

But you're supposed to be doing your
thinking in school.

I know.

But I can't go back there.

Oh, you gotta go back there.

I just can't.

The kids are treating me different now.

What are they doing to you?

They don't want to talk to me.

I had to recite a poem.

It was one I needed to help me memorize.

And all of a sudden I was crying.

Never since the other kids have been
acting funny.

That should teach you a lesson. You had
no right to go blubbering in front of

strangers. But even at home I can't. You
shouldn't be blubbering at home,

neither. I mean, it don't do no good. It
don't change nothing, kid.

Listen, I'm going through the same thing
here, you know.

Maury, Barney, all the guys, they're
treating me different.

They are?

Sure.

See, people do that because...

They think you and me is gonna fall
apart now we're alone.

But they don't know us.

We're gonna be okay, ain't we?

Ain't we?

Yes, sir.

Good.

Now, we have to eat your lunch.

I'll walk you back to school.

You don't have to.

I gotta.

I gotta go and see that snow nose.

Ain't that ridiculous?

You're the guy that goes AWOL, and I'm
the guy that's gotta face the courts

martial.

I'm Miss Wakefield. We spoke earlier on
the phone. Yeah, yeah, I know.

But, uh, I can't help saying I'm a
little surprised, you know.

Seeing you, a grown -up woman, and a
good -looking woman, too, I might add,

doing this kind of work.

What? Being a truant officer.

Torturing little kids.

Oh, Mr. Bumper, I'm not a truant
officer. I'm a counselor.

Oh.

Was that a barnyard count?

That's a barnyard.

Oh, a barnyard.

Did you have a football team?

No, but we were the state champions in
debating.

Debating? What did they do?

These pictures here, I suppose they was
all done by the children, huh?

Yeah, sometimes there's a lot of talent
behind those troubled faces.

Trouble? This one here looks like a real
disabled.

Oh, well, that's a dolly. Dolly? It
looks more like a cow with three heads.

That's Salvador Dolly, the famous
artist.

All I care how famous he is, he don't
know nothing about cows.

Please, sit down.

I'd like to talk to you about Stephanie.

First of all, I want you to know how
sorry I am to hear about your wife.

Oh, yeah, well, yeah, thanks very much.

And I realize this is a difficult time
for Stephanie.

Well, we don't need to go into all of
that, you know.

I had a nice little talk with her this
noon.

Everything's going to be all right. She
ain't going to play hooky no more.

Oh, that's good.

Did you find out what the problem was?

Yeah, all the kids were straight and
funny.

But, yeah, that's normal. The same thing
is happening to me, you know, with the

guys down at my bar.

Ever since I lost my wife.

Did Stephanie attend the funeral?

Attend? Sure.

Her and me was the first to the grave.

Well, I'm glad she had a chance to mourn
with the family.

Oh, we mourned first class, let me tell
you.

We had a kind of a do with the house
after, you know. All kinds of hams

Chickens and turkeys and potato salad.

My wife's family come pouring over from
Jersey.

They all attack that child like a herd
of locusts.

Has Stephanie talked very much about her
aunt?

Oh, well, she tries to, you know, but I
get her right over that.

I suppose that you haven't given
Stephanie anything that belonged to your

Oh, no, God.

What do you think, I'm a dope?

Geez, I ain't even...

Look, did I mean that stuff myself? I
want to pack it away when I get a

Mr. Bunker, I think you're wrong.

I think you should let Stephanie go
through those things with you and pick

something that belonged to your wife.

Oh, well, I don't know what I'm doing
here, wasting my time. Geez, you and me

talking two different languages.

I'm afraid so.

Well, listen.

Write down what you want. I got the kid
back in school.

That's what you was worrying about. You
don't have to worry about nothing no

more. Goodbye.

I'm not finished. Oh, I am.

Mr. Bunker, children, just like adults,
need to deal with death. It's part of

life. Stephanie needs to talk about
this.

If she doesn't, it could have serious
consequences.

Let me tell you something there, young
lady.

I'll tell you what makes these serious,
what do you call, consequentials. When

the school starts butting into the
parents' business.

I know my job and I'm doing it.

You just do your job.

Case closed.

Up next, Archie Bunker's got his own
bar.

Now that he's in charge, maybe he'll
finally be able to speak his mind. Stay

tuned. Archie Bunker's place is coming
up next right here on TV Land.