All language subtitles for Whoops Apocalypse s01e06 Set The Controls For The Heart

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and
the love of God and the fellowship of

Holy Spirit be with us all evermore.

WBC Tragedy Special. As the nation
mourns, we bring you all the gloom

gloom. I'm Jay Garrick. The grief time
headlines.

The mission's fourth bomb has at last
been traced. It was seen going off

approximately two hours ago in the
middle of what used to be Israel.

Over 5 million people are known to have
perished, including 300 ,000 United

States Marines who only recently arrived
in Israel as part of President Johnny

Cyclops' peace strategy.

The president's only listed son, Ralph,
speaking from his army base in Montana,

commented, since I joined the WACs and
told Pop I wish to be known as Laverne,

he hasn't actually spoken to me.

But I know if I do one of those poor G
.I .s who frizzle out there in

Pop will be as heartbroken as any father
today.

Cyclops himself was said to be too
shocked for comment at this time and

silent when the news was broken to him
at lunchtime during a special gala

screening of Exodus in New York City.

How the bomb went off is not yet known,
but with the finger of suspicion

pointing firmly at the Soviet Union, all
American and NATO forces have now been

placed in a worldwide nuclear alert. The
Kremlin claim America was sending the

bomb to the shore of Iran's
revolutionary forces when something went

wrong. A story, it says, could be
verified by the shore of Iran's parrot.

Meanwhile, sources close to the parrot
have denied any such. But hold your

horses. I'm being thrust another piece
of emergency paper that threatens to

the world on its axis.

With America's Middle East forces now
exterminated, the Soviet Union have

fresh divisions across the Persian Gulf
into Saudi Arabia, thus tightening their

stranglehold on the world's oil
supplies.

And as the chattering teeth of the
teleprinters throb out the news, we'll

you a minute -by -minute update on the
continuing crisis.

That's after this. Important word now
for the makers of the Benzinger 18 -hour

hug -you -tight super -stuff.

This is terrible.

What can I say, boys and girls? I hold
myself personally responsible for this

tragedy. I, as the haped custodian of
truth, justice, and a socialist way,

should have seen this crisis coming with
my telescopic vision.

You could then have slipped into a phone
box and changed into your secret

identity as a man of steel.

Head to Jerusalem at the speed of light.
Wrapped yourself around a quark bomb

and thus muffled the nuclear blast with
my indestructible body.

Will you both shut up?

Can't you see what's happening? The
Russians are taking over the world.

They've blown up Israel, annexed Iran
and Saudi Arabia, and Great Britain's

on the bloody list.

Look, they're caging us in, Kev, in our
own office.

Iron bars do not a prison make, Brian.

But if it will make you feel any easier,
I'll have a word with that new Soviet

advisor, Chappie. He'll be dropping in
any second.

Advisor?

Good morning, comrade Pork.

I am Commissar Sosinitsin. No relation.

And I have been assigned to your
government to offer a little friendly

neighborly assistance.

Please accept this with my compliments.

A new office chair.

Yes, indeed. It is also electrically
heated with special fitments to

the nerve endings. A positive boon for
rheumatic sufferers. It sounds to be

the ticket for your travel, Brian.

Perhaps the foreign secretary would care
to try it out. You're not getting me

into that contraption.

He's just the same as the dentist.

A small favor, if you would.

Fire away, Alex.

Well, as you know, the fact that...

The fact that the bomb went to

Israel is the fault of the imperialist
cretin Cyclops.

Unfortunately, only one man can verify
that story for us. You will therefore

have the Shah of Iran removed from his
ferry and brought here to me for

questioning. Say no more.

I'll fix it up right away.

I cannot see anyone, O Radiant of the
World.

Oh, God.

I'm dead.

Listen carefully.

I will swim for the shore and somehow
try to find my way to America.

If you get taken by the KGB, remember,
tell them nothing.

Fear not, Master.

I have the scissors here. I will now cut
off my tongue.

Wait until after I've gone, will you,
Abder?

Right.

Switch on the oxygen.

Very good, Master.

Are you sure there is enough oxygen in
this cylinder?

Oh, yes.

For God's sake, help me. I will never
get out of this alive.

There is nothing to worry about. The
Prime Minister is Superman.

A mature crusader from Krypton.

Able to fly faster than a speeding
bullet. Can leap tall buildings at a

bound. Will you shut up and help me?

Hey, is that the White House?

Get me President Cyclops fast.

That's the most damn fool mission I ever
heard of. Picking up a guy from a ferry

boat when he doesn't even know we're
coming.

You heard the message.

We're going to turn him over to the
Russians.

Unless we get there first.

Hey, there she is, soldier. Swing her
down.

Jesus, I think we struck lucky. I hate
you. Thank you, David.

My exorcist.

And in the light of events in the Middle
East, we have formulated a response

designed to show the President Cyclops
is not a man to be pushed around.

Quiet, Mr. President.

when the President recorded a special
crisis address to the nation. And while

is being edited, our plan of action will
be outlined to you by the Secretary of

Defense. Thank you, Dick.

Basically, gentlemen, this is a can of
worms that could squeal antsy in the

ticket if we don't potentiate the
existing nuclear situation.

Accordingly, we plan a nuclear airburst
here in the Polyostrov Peninsula, which

will stonewall the nuclear beeper and
avoid any boondoggle in the fish tank.

Apparently we have to fox the grease
monkeys in the crap house and by tossing

them a Lulu from the nuclear squeak bag.

Put simply, gentlemen, we're going to
fire one nuclear missile. That's nuclear

missile at an unpopulated area in
northern Russia up here just as a

shot. Then we tell the Soviets, unless
they get the hell out of Saudi Arabia,

we're going to fire another missile
armed with a quark warhead at a major

Russian city.

Naturally, this is just a bluff. There's
no way I could risk a real preemptive

strike, but it's a bluff. I don't reckon
Dubyankin will dare to call.

And that's why I figure he'll knuckle
down and pull his men out.

Yeah, now that's all clear.

To give it to you with the bark off,
man, we're going to slice open the

and hunker down the blue chips, then
pray the sun's a bit to keep the caps on

the bottle, because our trigger man is
shit scared he'll get his ass burned.

Yep. Mr. Hahn with the videocassette,
sir. Send him through.

Mr. President!

I still think you're making a mistake
with this man. No, Deacon. Saul Hahn is

the most dynamite movie director I ever
worked with. Well, just bet he's made

that speech I recorded earlier look like
a million dollars.

Hi, Saul. Come on in.

Gentlemen, Mr.

Saul W. Hahn directed all my early
pictures at MGM. Come on, sit down,

Okay, Deacon, let her roll.

I'll see you again real soon.

So long, pal.

So long there.

Holy hell, shit.

Sir, if the Lord had meant us to have
faith in geriatrics, he would never have

given us the Supreme Court.

Time is short, Mr. President.

You'll have to do the broadcast live.

That'll be all, thank you, gentlemen.

As you can see, the President is in full
control of the situation.

Emergency communion will be held in the
chapel, six o 'clock.

Gee, all because we tried to send the
Shah a quark bomb.

The Shah won't give us away now, Mr.
President.

I've had him removed from that ferry to
a place the Russians will never find

him.

One hundred and twenty -seven francs.

Is that you, suffering hideously from
jet lag, music of the spheres?

Where am I? They have brought us to
Florida, oh, top of the pops.

Florida? Excellent.

Which hotel are we in? I did not see,
but we must be on the top floor, for we

were a very long time in the lift.

Oh, just think about that. No more
seasickness, no more air sickness, no

Is it my imagination or is this room
shaking?

I will find out, Master.

It's a very simple device.

This device marks the brain signal.

Like this.

Yes, yes.

I turn on the device, and everything is
done.

My name is Stalinslav Jozefovich
Dubienkin.

Russia is a great country.

Look,

I put this device in the president's
head.

Where is the brain?

of the American people who believe I can
act

to pull the world back from the brink of
disaster.

Within the last hour, I have authorized
the launch of a 5 -megaton cruise

missile at an unpopulated area of
northern Russia.

This missile is no more than a warning
shot, but unless I receive in the next

two hours... an undertaking from Mr.
Dubyankin that he will pull his troops

of Saudi Arabia, I have to tell you that
a second missile, armed with a quirk

warhead, will be launched against one of
the Soviet Union's major cities.

Ladies and gentlemen, I swear to you, on
this holy Bible, I am not bluffing.

What the world needs today is a man who
can stand up to the forces of darkness.

A man who will not... flinch from
executing his duty in the service of

democracy.

Citizens of America, I am Batman.

Hey, watch that button!

God damn it! As if our job wasn't hard
enough, the White House is to send us

these two dumbos.

Hey, you!

Blind pew!

Fix the satellite. Now, while we're
gone, touch nothing. You hear me?

Nothing. I hear and obey.

Hear not, waltz of the toreadors.

I am coming.

How could they do this to me? How could
they be so unfeeling?

The astronauts, where have they gone?

They are outside the ship, Phantom of
the Opera, repairing the satellite.

But what if anything should go wrong in
here?

Nothing will go wrong, Hound of the
Baskervilles.

We are on board the space shuttle, the
most infallible craft American

has ever produced.

Oh, my God!

Quickly, end it! Pass me the fire
extinguisher! Hurry, hurry!

Quickly!

What can I say, boys and girls? I've
been living in a land of make -believe

along. Thank God I've managed to come to
my senses at last.

I can see it all now.

The Russians are up to no good, and I
alone can save the world from

Now, there's only one way to escape.

By vibrating the atoms in my body at a
speed equal to the molecular velocity of

this wall, I can make a hole right
through to the other side and unlock the

door.

No! Wait!

I shall use the magical power ring
bestowed on me by the guardians of the

universe to form a giant boxing glove
and smash the door down.

Stop! You've both gone stark raving mad.

I, as the wingy wonder from the planet
Thanagar, will use my super ability to

converse with birds and summon a pair of
woodpeckers who can then pick the lock.

Super wheeze, Brian, and then together
we can overwhelm the entire Soviet army.

And I can form a huge pair of green
scissors and slip up all the warheads.

their missiles while I

Heading for Moscow?

How in hell did that happen?

Sir, if the Russians mistake the space
shuttle for a nuclear missile... I know,

I know.

Mary, patch me through in the hotline
quick, will you?

Deacon, I thought you were to pray to
God to get me out of this mess.

I did, sir. Well, what did he say? I
can't work miracles.

Now he tells us.

Oh, come on. Answer the goddamn phone
for Christ's sake.

Hello. This is Stalin Slav to be agent
here. Thank God. Now listen, about the

space shuttle. I'm afraid I'm not in it.

And we begin the right counterattack.

We need to vote who is for the
counterattack. Yes.

WBC World Crisis Special. I'm Jay
Garrick. Take another Valium. A final

the headlines.

In Waxahachie, Texas today, a man
carrying a World Ends Tomorrow banner

arrested and charged with leaking
classified information.

Another piece of emergency paper still
hot with horror is being thrust into my

hands. Reports are coming in of a
massive Soviet nuclear attack on

America. 52 multiple warhead missiles,
each packing a punch of 64 megatons, are

at this very moment heading for major
targets all over the United States.

Estimated impact 33 minutes from now. A
Pentagon spokesman commented, there is

no cause for alarm.

And now the fourth news.

You have four and a half minutes to
decide on the nuclear retaliation, Mr.

President. A further 25 minutes to get
to the bunker, helicopter waiting on the

lawn.

Yeah.

Right.

Hello. Oh, no, honey, I'm working late
at the office.

Well, no, I got a couple of things to
take care of here, but I'll join you

there in the shelter real soon, okay?

So long, Angel.

That was Jane.

Best wife of men ever.

Well, I guess we better be moving.

Yeah.

I'll make the decision on the plane.

As you wish, Mr. President.