Original subtitles

Oh, Mr. Welch. Kicked me half to death.

Let's make that lesson one. Fight the fear. Enter.

Wow.

Can I live here?

No.

Have a seat.

Not there. That's mine.

What? Body language.

You don't remember me, do you?

Well, it's funny.

At the class reunion, I remember just about everybody but you.

Well, no matter.

Tell me, Buzzy, what brings you into therapy?

Well, you kind of told me to come at the reunion.

Do you always do what you're told?

Well, I was thinking, free session, can't hurt.

You see, I've never had therapy before, so I was thinking... Anger issues.

Let's start by talking about your anger issues, shall we?

I have anger issues.

What makes you angry, Buzzy?

Oh, I don't know.

Taxes, mortgage payments, losing one sock in the dryer.

And how do you deal with those issues?

Well, Dr. Weaver, I probably deal with them just like any other normal human

being.

Defensive.

I'm not defensive.

Defensive about being defensive.

Listen, Dr. Weaver, I think the reason I took you up on your free offer of

therapy was to get some insight on my relationship with my wife.

Misty.

How'd you know that? Let's cut through the psychobabble, shall we, Buzzy?

I'll tell you why you're in a dysfunctional relationship.

It's because you're a big, fat loser.

You're angry because none of the sad, pathetic dreams that you had as a child

ever came true. And you're just now waking up to the sad, pathetic fact that

they never will.

Oh, Buzzy, did any of the kids in school ever used to tease you? No, no, they

never did that.

No, they never called you Fuzzy Wuzzy Buzzy? No.

Oh, come on, Buzzy. What about you? Did you ever tease any of the other kids in

class? Huh, Buzzy? Stop saying my name like that. God gave you life and breath,

Buzzy. But you've become nothing but a waste of time and a waste of oxygen.

Oh, but now you're on my time, Buzzy.

You quintessence of nothing!

Dr.

Wheeler?

It's not the skirts or the smiles on a summer night or the perfume.

I just miss loving them.

Well, that'll be it for today, Mr. Smith.

I'm afraid we're out of time.

It's the worst thing I've ever seen.

Rookie.

Change! Change! Change! Change!

Change!

Change!

Did you see that fall?

That certainly gives a new meaning to the term Freudian flip.

Name me one other person that could survive a drop like that.

I just got the subject of my next book.

The sky is not falling. That'll be a living, breathing miracle.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions, Dr.

Weaver. He's already done that.

Wait a minute.

What's going on here?

You mean I'm dead?

How could I be dead?

I'm sitting here in my regular diner, getting my regular bed service.

Who are you two?

I'm Smith, and this is Judge Ock.

He's here to decide your eternal fate.

You know, Judge, when I first saw you... manipulative and controlling behavior

aside, I knew you were a man of great importance.

Dr. Weaver, I'm afraid this isn't going to get you anywhere.

What will?

An honest analysis of your life, your loves, and your losses.

You see that walking, talking, pathetic excuse of living tissue?

He's the reason I lost the love of my life.

You want to talk about abandonment issues? Oh, I got them.

Ever since the day.

Day what?

I don't want to talk about that. And you can't force me to talk about that.

Analysis is a two -way street.

A therapeutic subject has to be a willing participant.

I think that only applies to living subjects.

So if you want another chance... Another chance?

That's emotional blackmail.

All right, all right.

Where do you want to start?

Let's start with the day.

Look, I'm sure I could dredge up some dramatic postpartum experience.

You were 14 years old, and the year was 1978.

No, not puberty. That was the day. The day what?

There's Todd Randolph, your figure skating teacher.

Look at me.

Wasn't enough that I was fat. I had to be big and fat.

Who is that doing up your skates?

My mother.

There she is.

My mistake.

Okay,

class is starting, people.

Today we are going to practice our footwork.

Something like this.

Oh, no. Here I go.

Stephen, I wasn't finished.

Oh, I can't live through this.

Hi, Stephen.

After class, do you want to get a cherry coke or something?

Stephen?

I miss these.

You've been watching me.

Sorry, I can't help it. You're so... No.

I like it.

This is not cool.

What do you think you're doing with your fat little...

That was the worst day of my

life. All over a simple passage of wind.

Mr. Smith, you don't understand.

Misty is the only girl I ever loved.

She barely said two words to me after that day, except, hey, stinky.

You were humiliated.

That event turned you into an obsessively fastidious, power

-hungry control freak.

So what? I like my environment neat and tidy. There's nothing pathological about

that. I think you're terrified to ever lose control again. That way no one can

humiliate you or abandon you again, ever.

Sometimes keeping your heart closed can be more painful than taking the risk to

open it.

My life would have been perfect if I could have had Misty.

But I lost her because I never put up a fight for her, and I'll never forgive

myself for that.

So if you're compiling some list of eternal damnation, I recommend... Buzzy

Welsh for the top of that hell heap. Looks like he really has some issues to

deal with here, Judge.

Yes, you're right, Mr. Smith.

Then it's decided.

I'm giving you the chance to go back and discover the true source of your

unhappiness. And to protect the woman you love.

Miffy from Buzzy in a horrible trailer park future?

Oh, thank you, Judge Othniel.

therapeutic dream come true.

That's up to you.

You will have three days and three days only.

You will go back with all your memories intact.

No one will recognize you.

You are a free agent in the universe with the blessing of God Almighty and

court.

Apparently Liberace went to heaven and became the resident designer up there.

I think.

It's Mackie. You boys don't believe much in a period of adjustment, do you? It's

just wham, bam, here I am.

There's my mother.

And me.

Which leads me to ask the question most of my patients ask.

Who am I?

You're the substitute ice skating instructor, Lance Kensington.

Todd took a better gig at the Ice Capade.

And it looks like I am your trusty assistant, Mr.

Klutz. I believe that's pronounced Klutz. Klutz.

Klutz.

Does it matter that I don't know anything about teaching figure skating?

Little double sow cow here, little triple axel there. What's there to know?

Besides, Othniel would not put us here without giving us some kind of ability.

No.

Definitely Klutz.

Very funny.

Good afternoon, Mr.

Kensington. Good afternoon, Klatt.

Misty, any time today would be fine.

Your mom paid good money for these lessons. I expect you to be on time and

focused.

Okay, Mr. Kensington.

Come on, Steven. Time's a -wasting.

I love you, Steven.

I love you, Steven.

Eat that guy.

Don't you worry about Buzzy. We'll take care of him in no time.

We will? Oh, we will.

But first, we've got to get you a proper -looking pair of skates.

My mother always takes care of you, Mother.

Come on.

More left.

Okay, I want everybody to pair up.

Mr. Klutz is going to teach you how to do the spinny thing and the twirly

okay? Now, nobody trip, and don't blow your nose on the ice, okay? Pair up,

up. Come here. You too.

Phoebe is usually my partner.

Well, not anymore.

But then I won't have a partner.

I'll be alone.

What's your name?

Laura. Laura, there's a big difference between being alone and being lonely,

okay? Now, don't do the twirly thing, okay?

You must be Mr. Kensington.

What?

Please don't tell me I have something between my teeth.

Oh, no.

No, Mrs. Weaver, I came to talk to you about Stephen's white skates.

What's wrong with the white skates?

They're your skates.

Oh, that's right.

I came runner -up in two state competitions with those skates. I had

sharpened good as new.

End of discussion.

Listen, I'm not a child.

Well, I can see that.

I don't care who you tell, Buzzy.

Now get out of here before I kick you into next week.

Mr. Kensington.

Don't worry about anything.

In the next couple of days, Buzzy Welsh is going to be running away from you.

Go back to class.

What was that all about?

It's about protecting myself from that sorry excuse for a human being.

Steven, being sent back is supposed to be about forgiving Buzzy Welsh. Oh, I'll

forgive Buzzy.

After I get even.

And I'll have a bonzo burger, some chili fries, and a triple vanilla shake.

All right, one sec.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's my snack. Yeah, a 5 ,757 -calorie snack. I don't think so.

We'd like a scoop of cottage cheese and some tomato slices, please.

Uh, we don't have cottage cheese.

Never mind.

Mr. Kensington, it's snack time, and my mom always... Your mom was wrong.

Here.

Carrots and celery?

Yeah. Lose weight while you chill.

Ugh.

Gross.

You want Misty, don't you?

Yeah. Buzzy Welsh is in the way.

Scary Buzzy Welsh.

Well, listen to me, little buddy.

Buzzy Welsh is only as scary as you think he is.

And he's really, really scary.

You could take him if you believe you can take him. You're crazy. Crazy?

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. You're a bad man.

I am? Yeah, say it with me. I'm a bad man.

I'm a bad man. That's it. I'm a bad man. I'm a bad man. Bad man. That's right.

You, my friend, are going to take Buzzy Welsh down.

Now, give me three laps around the rink. Go, go, go.

Steven, that poor kid cannot fight Buzzy Welsh. He'll get killed.

That little kid is me. No, he won't.

When I'm through with myself, our friend Buzzy Welsh is going to be history.

And Misty, she's going to be mine.

No, no, no!

Rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush.

Hurry. It's okay.

Why don't we fight?

I gotta tell you, I hate figure skating.

My mom makes me do it, and I hate it. Yeah, I hate it too.

But you teach it.

Well, just because you teach something doesn't mean you have to like it, right?

Two things I hate.

Figure skating and my mother.

I know.

Look, why don't we take it out on the bike, okay?

Yeah.

Keep pedaling. I'll be right back, little buddy, okay? Okay.

Hi.

I just want to thank you for being so good to my son.

It means a lot.

And, well, I saw what that boy did, and thank you.

No one's ever stood up for my little boy before.

Well, let's just say I know what it's like to be in Stephen's skates.

I would be honored if you and Mr. Klutz would... It's Klutz.

Oh, sorry.

If you two would join our family for dinner this evening, I'd make a mean pot

roast.

You know, I'd love to.

Unfortunately, I have a previous engagement, which... Which I can sit in

Your schedule's wide open. Well, it's settled then.

Let's say 7 o 'clock?

Yeah. Great.

That pot roast is deadly.

What do you think you're doing?

It's important for you to spend as much time with your younger self as possible.

Remember, it's the spirit at dinner that counts. It's like I always tell my

patients.

It's never as bad as you remember.

So, Albert, Mr. Kensington recommended that we get Stevie some black skates.

And who's going to pay for them?

Well, gee, Albert, we could take it out of the activity allowance we allotted

for our son.

It's your activity, Phyllis, that you've imposed on our son.

Isn't this roast just ever so tender?

Beyond tender.

Beyond tender.

A diplomat, that's good.

Do you remember the roast we had at the Pembrokes? Let's not discuss roast past

and present, please.

I was just trying to make a conversation.

You haven't exactly been a bubbling fountain of conversation over there, Mr.

Silent Soaky Pants.

May I be excused?

Have you finished your Spanish?

Almost.

I'll help you then.

You two get to know each other.

Is she gone?

Yep.

It's times like these.

I wish we had a dog.

Don't go on. Don't be shy. I know it's like chewing charcoal.

You know, pot roast never used to taste this bad when we were first married.

Come to think of it, I didn't notice the taste of a lot of things back then.

Strange.

Somehow, something inside you along the way gets lost.

Before you know it, life has passed you by.

You can't remember why you made some of the choices you made in the first place.

Can't be all bad.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Hello?

No, no, you're not interrupting at all.

We've just, uh, been in.

Uh, listen, uh, that was a, that was a business thing.

I've got a client who's all up in arms, so I think... Well, I guess that's the

life insurance biz for you.

People spending all their energy preparing to die.

They forget how to live, right?

Exactly.

Exactly. Look, I realize I was being a bit of a jerk about the black skates

thing. Look, this should be enough to get him a really nice pair.

Tell Phyllis, would you? All right. Sure.

Yo, padre.

Me llamo Steven, usted.

Padre?

¿Dónde está mi padre?

He had an important meeting with a client.

Oh.

He left you some money, though.

For black skates.

Great.

Albert, uh, he left.

He said something about a... Emergency meeting with his secretary.

No, Mrs. Weaver, I'm pretty sure he said client.

No, it's okay.

I'm a grown woman.

You don't have to cover up.

Cover up what?

I'm well aware of my husband's affair.

How's that feel?

Great.

Manly, for once.

Misty's out there skating alone.

Mr. Kensington, I'm nervous.

What'd I tell you?

Fight the fear?

That's the ticket.

Buzzy Welsh can't touch you now.

Come on. Go get her, Tiger.

Yeah.

Stephen, I heard what your mother said to you last night. Really?

Eavesdrop on all our conversations?

Curse of the job.

Those are some pretty hard words to hear, and I just thought... Smith, you

what? My entire graduate thesis was on the codependent psychology of a martyr.

My mother was the perfect case study. She overcompensates, overanalyzes,

overreacts to everything.

There's a reason my father's a workaholic, and that's to get some peace

Far cry from breaking a sacred family trust.

You wouldn't possibly be having an affair.

That's not what your mother thinks. No, no, no.

Remember Othniel asked you if you were prepared to face the truth, no matter

painful that truth might be.

Or maybe the truth you're supposed to be facing is your mother's loneliness.

And why?

So what's this pressing matter?

You said something in passing last night, Mrs. Weaver, about your husband.

Oh, please.

It's taken me a long time, but I've come to accept the truth, Mr. Kensington.

I can handle it.

Can Stephen?

Oh, I couldn't tell Stephen. That would kill him.

So I make sure I'm always there for him.

Well, that's crippling him.

He can't go anywhere without you, Mrs. Weaver. Well, isn't it my job to protect

my son?

It's your job to teach him how to protect himself.

Your little boy is growing up.

You gotta give him space to grow.

But he's all that I have.

He's the reason I get up in the morning.

He is not all you have.

You have a... Husband.

The real truth is, I love my husband more than anything in the world.

And deep down, I'm convinced that we can make this work.

And I guess I just didn't want to face up to the fact that it's over.

And I've been using Stephen to hold us together.

I've been hurting my boy.

been making my husband hate me.

Stephen.

Stephen, it's okay.

It's okay.

Don't look back. Just walk. Phyllis, wait.

I have to go.

Steven, you knew all along what Bob Neal sent me back to confront.

My father was having an affair while my mother struggled to keep my family

together. I buried that fact for 22 years, and he sends me back to relive

nightmare all over again. The worst part is, she still loves him.

After everything he's done, my mother still loves my father.

Stephen, you were sent back to find the true source of your unhappiness and

thereby protect the woman you love.

My mother?

Maybe you were sent back to forgive your father, but more importantly, yourself.

They used to fight over me all the time.

It wasn't your fault.

That's the truth. The truth.

I couldn't take the truth.

How could I have forgotten?

It was too painful.

I made myself an emotional cripple and I always blamed her.

For my father leaving.

For everything.

She had no one.

No one to understand.

And yet she never blamed my father to me.

Always tried to preserve what little relationship we had left.

How could she do that?

Because she was a good mother. She didn't want to see you hurt.

And destroying a father in a child's eyes, that is one of the most painful

things on earth.

I've got to stop her from finding out like that.

I remember the pain on her face when she saw... Oh, no.

Oh, no. It's happening again.

What do you think you're doing, you fat little dork?

This is all your fault, Mr. Kensington. All your fault! Steven, wait!

Steven! Steven!

Steven! Wait here. I'll take care of this. Mom, stay here!

in the first place. None of this would have happened. You aren't going to

believe me, but this is for your own good. Now hang on, little buddy.

Jesus!

I'll get over that.

Jesus, are you okay?

Did you break anything?

No. You just couldn't help yourself, could you?

I thought you... I thought you were in there with another woman and...

Blonde and...

You know, there's a term for distorted flashbacks. I think delusional would

qualify.

It's a long story. I'm sorry.

I guess I was wrong.

You weren't wrong.

There was a woman.

She was supposed to meet me here. We were going to run away together.

I've been planning it for weeks.

When I saw you in that restaurant, something about you reminded me of my

How could I go home and see the reflection of my face in his eyes

The

sad truth is, my marriage is over.

I know it.

Phyllis knows it.

And worst of all, Stephen knows it too.

There must have been some reason you two got married in the first place.

You know, I can still smell the perfume she wore on our wedding night.

We were in love.

We were so very much in love.

And Stephen came along and we didn't have time to do half the things we used

do together.

And you blamed him.

Yeah.

I guess I did.

But it was never his fault.

You felt like you were competing with him for your wife's attention.

Yeah.

So I busied myself with other distractions.

Work, namely.

Stephen got older. Phyllis tried to come back to me.

I was never there for her.

All I could focus on was how could I get even with the mother of my child for

not being there when I needed her all those years.

I punished my kid, too.

What are you, some kind of shrink or something? Look at me, I'm talking my

off here.

It's good to let your feelings out.

You know, Mr.

Weaver, all your son ever wanted was to see you and his mom get along.

Every kid just wanted to see his parents be happy.

That's how they learned to be.

I think it's too late for that.

You see, Phyllis is the same woman I married.

But I'm not the same man.

And when I look in the mirror, I hate myself for letting my family fall apart,

but I don't know how to put it back together again.

Albert.

Phyllis.

There's so many things that I want to say to you, but I don't quite know where

to start.

Not that what I have to say counts very much.

Just tell her you love her.

When she'll ever know.

Oh, I do know now.

You done good, kid.

What happened to me?

You know, it wouldn't feel so bad.

When I was a sheep in the Christmas pageant, I let one so loud I thought it

going to shatter the stained glass.

I wanted to die.

But it's different with sheep. Sheep can get away with that.

You were a shepherd.

You were standing right next to me.

You don't remember what I did?

Well, now that you mention it, kind of.

See, and is that all you think about when you look at me?

No. There. No big deal.

Come on.

I'll buy a cherry Coke.

She's beautiful.

How come I never noticed?

Now's your chance.

Surprise.

Laura?

What? What is it?

Do I have something in my teeth?

No. It just... You grew up.

Beautifully.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Here.

We're going over to your mom and dad's for dinner tonight, so I brought you an

extra sandwich.

She's making pot roast?

I offered to bring lasagna.

Honestly, I tried, but you know your dad, he insisted on your mother's pot

roast.

They say love is blind, but I swear it affects your taste buds, too.

Seven o 'clock sharp.

Don't be late.

Hey, wait.

I love you.

Welcome back, Dr. Weaver.

I married Laura.

Your high school sweetheart.

And you had two kids.

For Becca and Thomas.

They're beautiful.

They're my own family.

I never thought I'd live to see the day.

Lothniel was right.

He usually is.

All those years as a therapist playing God with people's emotions.

Getting them to experience the pain that I was forced to endure as a kid.

Not anymore.

Thanks to you.

Smith, how can I ever repay you?

You don't have to.

Your happy life is my payment.

Enjoy.

You won't remember anything about the last three days.

Wait, I want to remember.

I never want to take my family for granted. I want to be grateful every

You will be.

Dr. Weaver, your next patient is here.

Buzzy. Hey, Dr. Weaver. Come on in. Sorry I'm late.

It's okay. Have a seat.

So, you remember last week after I flipped out at Misty for crashing our

through the neighbor's garage?

Yeah. How could I forget?

Well, I took your advice. I told her I'm sorry I yelled so loud you cried and

that I knew it was an accident.

Excellent, Buzzy. Excellent.

So last night, Misty offers to do the laundry.

Well, she never offers to do the laundry, so I'm thinking this is good.

We're making progress here.

What is it, Buzzy?

You remember that time all those years ago when I pushed you down on the

rink and you broke the wind heard around the world?

How could I forget?

I feel bad.

I feel bad that I did that to you.

That's okay.

You know, that was the worst day and the best day of my life.

I humiliated myself beyond redemption.

And my future wife.

When I got home, I caught my parents kissing.

It was the first time I ever really believed that they loved each other.

So do you forgive me?

Yeah. I forgive you.

Do errors human to forgive?

Divine.

Great philosophy, Dr. Weaver.

Great philosophy.

Now enough about me.

Let's talk about you.

Change! You could change the world.

Change!

Rearrange your world.

Change!

Take one, divide by two.

Change!

If it was only up to you to change to a world of wonder from a

world of pain, I will...