Original subtitles

Previously on Third Ward.

Whoa, you guys are doing an episode on the 5 -5?

Is he paralyzed?

Was he moving when you got him?

No. I want to see the tape from the accident.

Where's Dad?

You know, I saw him the other night sitting across from me at Smokey's strip

joint. Onions are going to be mush.

Oh, it's not. It's shot.

I can be killed.

No. That's wrong.

mother she needs special care remind me what we have to have this big secret

going i don't get it this is my private life well you care sally knew did you

tell him no i'm just saying i wouldn't care it was a big deal

Sometimes, events conspire to change your life.

A teacher told me that once.

I think it was seventh grade.

I don't know about the conspiring part. To me, a lot of it's just fate or luck

or, for most people, a lack of luck.

So, this right here is our engine.

Now, when we get to a fire, we attach the truck here to the hydrant with this

hose right up here.

And then that fills up the engine with water.

Can I see your axe?

My axe? My dad says all firemen have axes.

Yeah, we do. But I'm going to talk about the engine right now, okay?

Can you turn the siren on?

Get to the siren in a minute. How fast does the truck go?

It goes pretty fast.

A thousand miles an hour?

I think of a thousand miles an hour dummy.

A spaceship that's dummy. No one is a dummy. That's a hate word.

Let the fireman show us his equipment.

Yeah, well, once the hose is charged, we pull it out from the back of the

truck, and we use our hose for putting out the fire. Mr. Fireman, can we slide

on the pole?

Yeah!

You know what? Sorry, guys. That fire pole's not a toy.

You could get hurt.

Want to see my axe?

Sorry about that.

No, no, don't worry about it. Poor child, that pole's pretty hard to

But whatever the reason, it's definitely true that your life can change pretty

much in the blink of an eye.

But let me tell you, when it happened to me, I never saw it coming.

I was dead, and that my own personal hell consisted of evil little midgets

sticky fingers, missing teeth, and pig tails.

Man, I can't believe that was five miles.

Oh, well, that was actually 5 .2.

Really?

It's getting easier all the time.

Hey, Miss O 'Keefe, how was she? She fell asleep a while ago.

Thank you for sitting with her. She really likes the romance novels.

Yeah? Thanks again, Miss O 'Keefe.

Oh, me feet hurt.

Hi, Mom.

We don't have no more milk.

Yeah, I'll get some during the shift and drop it by, okay?

Yeah, okay, but number one fat.

Oh, no, number two fat.

Number one fat. Come on. Hurry up. Take a shower. You're going to be that late

bird that don't get warmed.

Let me up, damn it. Who's the joke on? Me or Nieto? Neither. He fell pretty

in his head. I'm fine.

He's got a hematoma in the right parietal region with a two -inch

GCS is 15. LOC approximately three minutes. I never lost consciousness.

You called Jimmy Charlene and said you didn't want to go to school today.

What happened?

20 -foot fall. He's got a lump, a scalp black, and a big mouth.

BP is 160 over 110.

Pulse is 90. Ref is 20.

I'm just a little upset. No other visible signs of injury, but he hit the

pretty hard. He was out for a good three minutes.

I was not.

How'd he track down?

Well, he hasn't been the most cooperative of patients.

Listen, Dr. Thomas, I'm fine. Really. If you let me up, I can show you.

I promise I won't go anywhere.

Can I trust him? No.

Down. I'm sorry. You know how I feel about taking the medics at their word.

Call radiology for a CT scan head and neck. Good luck.

Oh, nice.

You want sutures or staples? What hurts less?

And a suture kit.

Do you have pain anywhere else?

Aren't you listening to me? I don't even have pain there.

Doctor, so you know, this is always his cheery disposition.

It's not just the injury talking. How about here?

No. Here?

I said no.

Take a breath.

How about there?

Aren't you listening? No.

Either of you know what the hell he was doing on that pole?

No, but I wish I had some photos.

I heard screaming for someone to call 911.

You're kidding. It's not funny, guys.

Oh, come on, Doc. It is too funny. Call 911!

Listen, I'm serious, all right?

I mean, besides the mountain of paperwork I have because of an injury on

we're already short out there. Come on, it's not hurt that bad.

You want to bet that I'm going to be here for a while? I'm going to keep it.

Concussion? Yeah.

Looks like I got the rest of the day off.

First time I ever consider you lucky for working in a car like this. Hold it,

hold it. Slow down, slow down, okay? You know I'm going to be here until they

decide what to do with him.

So, why don't you two go out and add him, and I'll call you when I know more.

You mean Alex?

Yeah, is there a problem?

No, not with me.

No, no, sounds fine.

All right, then call yourselves back in service.

I'll let dispatch know the new line.

Well, go to work.

Oh, okay.

I know exactly how much money is in my pocket.

$18. Two fives and eight singles. I don't even think about it.

Dirty hands off me.

Hey, Sully. Yeah?

I got something going at Arthur 101.

This nickel -dime dealer up there keeps flipping away from me. Do me a favor,

steer clear of that tonight, okay? If I got to do your job all shift, Bosco,

that drug dealer's going to be the least of your worries. Drug dealers are my

job, Sully. We have a narcotics unit, Bosco. Your job is answering radio

Well, excuse me for wanting to do real police work.

What?

What?

Are you losing weight?

Yeah, I guess, a little.

I can definitely tell.

Yeah? Definitely.

Thanks. Actually, I feel a lot better, too.

And I have to think about getting some new clothes.

Smaller clothes.

What are you, dieting? Well, it's a Tatiana effect. She's feeding me better

food. Vegetables, fish, chicken. And we take these power walks, sometimes twice

a day.

Can you believe this, Davis?

Before you ladies turn the discussion to deal meals and thigh masters, do you

mind letting me go to work?

Huh?

Well, keep it up, Dolly.

Yeah, I will. Thanks, Faith.

Uh -huh.

Don't. Taking power walks, huh?

Davis, in the car.

Now that you mention it, your ass is looking a little tighter, Davis. More

toned, a little firmer.

In the car. Fix it.

Oh.

Oh, did you want to drive?

Well, I can if you want. No, no, it's okay. I'll drive.

Do you want me to drive?

No, I just don't want to be a wheel hog or anything.

You know what? You drive.

Okay. So, how are you, you know, feeling?

What do you mean?

In general.

You know, feeling in general.

Fine.

How about you? Me?

In general, I mean.

Good. I'm good.

Good. Good.

Oh,

sorry. I just usually...

You know, go ahead. No, you take it.

10 -4 -7 -4 -16 -24 -107.

The scan looks good.

I don't want to keep him overnight.

Like hell.

Three minutes of unconsciousness is something you want to keep an eye on.

Hey, you sign yourself out, AMA, the city isn't going to pay for any of this

hospital bills.

What?

Policy.

Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?

Hey, hey, don't be a baby.

It's one night. Just try to enjoy yourself.

I'll send that man to bring you to a room.

Is that true?

Maybe.

Where did he fall off again?

The fire pole. Two floors.

Does that happen a lot?

No, he's...

Kind of special, that look.

So, Carlos is all yours for the next 24 hours.

Not mine.

I'm sending his ass to five on the first transport up.

I got a little surprise for him.

He thinks really highly of you.

Better use your phone and call the house if you're right.

You still mooching free phone calls from Mercy Hospital?

Man, you never change.

What the hell are you doing here? I went by the house to visit you. They told me

where you were.

It's good to see you, man. Let me get a look at you.

You know what? I was wrong.

You did change.

You got really, really old.

Hey, if I'm old, you're old, man.

They admitted me.

Admitted me to the hospital.

Stupid city policies.

This was becoming the worst day of my life until Nurse Tammy Sizemore.

Welcome to Five West.

Thank you.

Concussion? Some stitches?

Yeah, I got hurt down at the firehouse.

Headache? A little bit now, but nothing I can't handle.

What was your name again?

Tammy. Right.

Tammy. I'm Carlos Nero, FDNY.

Hey.

Small world.

Brought that guy in here yesterday. Found him under the GW.

Yeah, we know.

I'm telling you, I'm like one good line away from Nirvana with that one.

She's really starting to feel it. You can tell, right?

Josh! Hey, keep it down, man.

Josh! Hey, I got a killer headache here.

Get me out of this bed!

Tammy! Josh!

Tammy! Josh!

Tammy!

This was not gonna work.

Oh, thank God. I can't be in this room.

What's the problem?

The problem?

Is he irritating you?

Listen to him.

He's an alcoholic going through DT.

Can't keep him sedated because basically he's been sedating himself for 15

years. Listen to him. We have been ever since you brought him into the hospital.

Was this some kind of punishment?

He was hurt. He was bleeding. What was I supposed to do? Leave him under the

bridge? It's funny how life works out sometimes, isn't it? How things just

of come full circle.

The truth is I wanted to leave him under there.

But my goody -two -shoes partner, this liberal, push -headed chick, she's like,

but he's bleeding. I think you two are going to become great friends.

Bitch!

Who's that?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Hey, hey, Steve, I'll be out of these damn restraints.

Uh, it's, um, it's against policy, Mom.

What'd I do?

I'm gonna kill you, too!

Are you guys working together now? Long story, but a really funny one. Yeah?

Where's the customer?

He's in here, back by the pool table.

So your roommate's not coming home tonight?

He's not.

Roommate? You live with Carlos?

Carlos Nieto? That's pretty much the universal reaction right there.

Yep,

looks like he's spending the night at Mercy.

What, in the hospital?

He fell at the firehouse. He got a pretty good concussion.

Concussion? When did we get to the funny part?

What, and fell trying to glide down the fire pole? All right, that's kind of

funny.

Dan, you're getting his arm cut open on a piece of broken beer bottle. I can't

believe I let one break. Must be getting old.

I hate it when the great ones start to fall apart.

Gal, the Iron Man, ripped him. Now, Dan, the drunk.

You two are fine.

Dan, let me take a look at you. No, no, let's make a deal. How about I show you

mine if you show me yours?

Hey, watch your mouth. What's the matter with you?

Hi. I'm trying to have a little fun over here.

We can handle it.

How about this for a deal?

You don't show us that cut. We go back to the ambulance and we'll let you sit

here and bleed to death.

Would that work for you? Yeah, fine. Let's go.

Boy, I like sass.

Now there's work no one's supposed to do with Eisenhower.

See? Behaving yourself isn't all that bad.

Come on.

Make a deal, pinhead.

is your jones for this guy jacked him up four times when you were gone i could

never find a stand yeah well no one seems interested in his wares today can

just give it some time time you've been up there forever did you ever have to

pee

I wouldn't want you looking for me for anything.

Ever.

It's hard to believe this place hasn't changed more in two years.

Has it been two years already?

Two last October.

Damn.

Pretty good. Healthy.

Yeah, getting regular sleep.

Human hours. You should try it sometime.

Maybe I will. So many new things.

So I want to take you out to eat.

I'd love to, Jerry, but I'm working.

Admit it, Nieto, right?

I already spoke to Johnson.

You got nobody to ride with anyhow.

I got a lot of paperwork on this injured on duty report. You're not going to

disappoint me now, are you?

Things are different now. I'm supervisor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did it, Doc. Me and you.

I'm buying.

You're buying?

Sure.

All right, all right. I, uh... I got to see you come off that wall of yours.

Okay? A five -star place, all right? No, no, no. One of those cheap diners that

you usually take me to.

Remember me?

Yeah, Officer Boswell. What's up?

My new friend?

Yeah, you're my new friend.

We're going to be spending some time together.

Oh, man. I'm sort of busy today, huh?

Can I help you? No, thanks. I got to come.

Well, how many times are you going to throw the cup? Just once more.

Ooh. How many miles you get on a gallon of that stuff?

I'd say, what, five to ten?

Huh?

All right, we'll meet you at Mercy, Sal.

Why? Yeah, why? We got all the information we need.

Why not? The guy's a drunk. He was already acting nasty in there.

Davis, he wasn't that bad.

Well, maybe it'll get worse, right?

Yeah, we're just a couple of girls, right?

I didn't say that.

You didn't have to.

But we're fine.

This is our job.

Thank you.

What?

What?

Are you sweet on her?

Shut up.

That is the first paramedic I've ever seen you want to follow around.

I don't want to follow around, Sully. I'm just trying to... Shut up.

I'm gonna kill you!

I learned that the human lungs have a phenomenal capacity for strength when

is really, really angry.

Or really, really crazy.

I had also learned that there's nothing worse than being stuck in a room with a

guy screaming at the top of his lungs. Nothing worse.

And then I learned I was wrong.

A grown man sobbing is worse.

Much worse.

There comes a time in every man's life where you really can't shut the world

anymore.

You have to take action, do something decisive.

And that's all there is to it. What do you think? If that doesn't work, you

have to go to plan B.

Screwed my whole life up.

Look, everybody drinks. I drink. It's no big deal.

I've been drunk since 1987.

You coming?

You're dropping off the milk, right?

Yeah.

You need my help?

You know, it wouldn't hurt you to get off your lazy ass and get a little

exercise every once in a while.

Oh, besides handball, basketball, running, weightlifting.

I'll be right back. I'll be right here, Mr. Fitness.

And give a kiss to your ladies for me.

Yeah.

Mom?

Diana?

Oh, John, I'm sorry. What happened? I just called at the store for milk.

Oh, my God.

You've got to take her to the hospital. Come on, Mom.

Come on.

You left her here alone?

I told you I was going to get the milk.

Davis, start the car. We're taking my mother to the hospital.

Come on, Mom.

She was trying to cook something. Get out of the way. Okay.

You should never have left her here alone.

Okay, I get my purse.

No, you stay here.

No, John, I can't. Stay here.

No, I want to go.

Oh, John.

Need some help here? My mother, she's been burned.

She's dead arm.

Can you help us?

Gasto. Gasto.

Please, help her.

Mom, it's okay.

She has Alzheimer's.

She can't die.

Her name is Irene.

Mom,

I'm right. I'll be right.

I'm right here.

Yo, I swear that car is mine.

He swears.

You can't just say that that stuff belongs to me. It wasn't in my

Well, my partner here gets finished with the report. He'll be so guilty, even

you won't like yourself.

Oh, sweet.

Well, you're the best at it.

Isn't he a smooth talker? You gonna lie?

Lie?

Lie?

Now, that is a very offensive characterization. You are screwed here,

Dealing drugs within a block of a grammar school?

Completely screwed.

Let's see.

Unless, uh... Well, I mean, you getting popped probably hasn't made it all over

the street yet. Oh, no. No, no. No way. All right. Forget about it.

We got enough on you to put you away for a long time. I'm satisfied.

Are you satisfied?

Yeah, I'm all tingly with satisfaction.

Probably got a sheet, no?

Priors?

Narcotic priors and you're carrying around delivery weight?

Now, that dope could be just inventoried as, you know, found in an abandoned car

in the street if we had someone else to lock up today.

Someone bigger.

Us coming in with you on a little secret, huh?

Kathy doesn't need to know. She always knew. She could smell it on you. Yeah,

and what did I teach you? Deny, deny, deny.

Yes, sir.

So, what's up with you?

You know, same old thing.

Nope.

Something's wrong.

Did you become a mind reader, too?

Come on, who are you talking to?

Everything's fine, Jerry.

You said I might be trying regular hours sooner than I think.

I did?

Back at Mercy.

You're a lifer, kid. You always were.

If you're thinking of pulling the pin, Something happened.

Nothing happened.

It's me, Doc.

You can't talk to me.

I know.

Yeah,

it's just this traffic accident.

A pretty big one. Police chase gone bad.

Had this...

camera crew following us from that television show trauma response are you

serious yeah they were following us around all day getting in the way i'm

surprised you put up with that it came from downtown you know everyone's

about morale more these days than they used to be you know they got this doing

the best paramedic in the city thing and i ended up being one of the finalists

lucky for you i left hey hey you come back to work i'll be the first one to

for you

Nah, I'd say they got the right guy.

Anyway, we're at this accident scene.

That'll be six or seven trauma cases. I got Kim with me, no one else. Carlos

shows up later on with Alex Taylor wearing triage mode, throwing tags.

Worst go first. I'm running back and forth. Kim's got this kid. He's like 20.

He's having trouble breathing.

She can't get him to because he's got a C collar on and she can't get his head

back far enough. He was going under?

Well, he...

He was definitely having trouble breathing, so we hit him with Versed to

him some, but it wasn't working right away.

So I told her to take the collar off, and she wouldn't.

So I took over. I popped it open, I slid the tube in, and I closed it right back

up.

We found out later at Mercy that the kid was...

Paralyzed quadriplegic.

It probably already was when you opened the collar.

I watched the tape.

That television crew's tape.

Kid was moving. He was moving his arm.

Yeah, he's getting better.

Doctor said the cord was probably just bruised, but they...

They're not sure all his functions will come back.

Well, so what? The kid was choking to death, and you made a tough call. I

the result was bad, but you did it to save his life, right?

That, um... That television crew was...

Getting more and more interested in Carlos as the day went on.

I was starting to get a little embarrassed, you know.

Big paramedic of the year and I can't even keep these guys interested in me.

You did it to show off?

Right before I opened that collar.

The very last thing I did.

was look at that cameraman.

Why would I do that, Jerry?

This guy better show up.

Yeah, he'll be here. He always comes when I need product.

You told him to bring some?

You heard me?

Yeah, I heard you.

This guy a player?

Well, he's my connection. That's all I know.

He's eye up on the chain to me, but he ain't no cartel boss, you know what I'm

saying?

Is this fucked?

Well, we are drug dealers, ma 'am.

pretty crappy car.

I'll tell him you said so.

And this turned out to be a pretty good day.

Yeah, you should thank my dad till it's over.

Let me see your hand.

Let me see your damn hand.

I'm not asking again.

Now open the door.

Get out.

Slowly turn around.

Mikey?

You're so critical.

Always critical of me.

On my 18th birthday, he sat me down to drink with him.

After all the things he told me I sucked at, I finally found something I was

good at.

He could drink and so could I.

He was proud of me for the first time in my life.

It's his fault.

You know what I got for my 18th birthday present?

The door.

Seriously. On my birthday. Happy B -Day, Carlos.

Here's a paper bag for your stuff.

See, I spent my whole life in foster care. Guess what? When I turned 18, the

government's money stopped.

So did the family.

Most of them ran for the cash.

It's not fair.

Guess I should go out and get hooked on some sort of substance, huh?

Look.

I'm no psychiatrist, but all I'm saying is if I'm going to go and screw myself

up, it'll at least be because I want to.

I mean, you can't really say you can't help it. You can't help it.

Drink if you want to drink. I'm just saying do it because you like it.

It's not going to help you forget a damn thing.

You're going to just end up with all the same memories and a hangover.

I don't really like it.

Then don't do it.

Do something you like.

Yeah.

I'll give that a shot.

And as usual, I opened up the lines of communication.

I spend my whole life giving.

The problem I've always had in starting a dialogue with somebody is that they

expect you to listen while they talk.

It's not attractive to the opposite sex. It's not like I didn't meet anybody I

couldn't get close to.

And talk.

And talk.

And talk.

All I'm saying is I don't believe you have that in you.

Pride?

Come on, Jerry. Everyone has that in them.

Yeah, well, yours is more hidden than anyone else's. Good for me.

It's easy to convince yourself you felt things that you didn't feel at the time.

You should stay away from the hospital and that kid.

Let whatever's going to happen, happen.

Don't call attention to yourself.

That's what Kim said.

Sounds like she got smarter since I left.

All right.

Yeah.

What is wrong with you, man?

Huh? Doctor, calm down.

Okay, look, man.

Some guy just wanted me to run something over here for him.

You better shut up, Charlie, huh?

You just wait, huh? Wait for what?

What, are you going to beef him to somebody?

Maybe have him whacked for rolling over? Whacked? No, come on, man. This is me,

your brother. You're running dope, Michael.

In my precinct, Michael. Look, first of all, I didn't know this was your

precinct. Okay, and secondly, I'm not running dope. I told you.

This guy just wanted me to drop something off for him. What guy?

What?

What guy wanted you to drop something off?

Come on, man. Don't make me do that.

All right, so what? Someone can ask you to drop off drugs and that's cool, but I

can't ask you who? Look, you know that can really jam me up.

You want jam?

Let's go.

You want jamming up?

You're under arrest.

Turn around.

What?

Turn around.

Come on, man. Turn around now, Michael, or I'll make you turn around.

I'm really good at it. I'm not going to ask you again, Michael.

I'm going to turn around right now.

It was a mistake.

She should have never left that home.

She's going to be all right, son.

Mr. Sheldon.

Yeah? Get back to work.

Is she going to be all right?

Should we step away?

No. Anything you want to say to me, you can say up front of him.

Well, it's a very serious injury. It's going to require quite a bit of care.

Aside from the initial problems, there's going to be infection and then maybe

grafts, although at her advanced age, it's probably not a great idea to get

surgery. A specialist can tell you more about that.

My God.

She's comfortable now.

There would have been more pain associated with the injury if not for

diabetes.

Diabetes?

It's fairly advanced.

Her extremities are mostly numb due to it.

Now, this is a delicate subject, but I think it might be best if your mother

were put into some sort of nursing facility, Mr. Sullivan.

We have several in the area that provide excellent care.

Oh, I know where a real good one is.

Can I see her, please?

Of course, this way.

Mind if I peel out? No, it's cool. I got it.

Hey. What are you doing here?

Sully's mom burned herself on the stove.

Oh, is she all right?

I don't know. It's pretty bad. She's resting now.

How's Sully doing?

He's upset.

How about you? How'd it go with you and Kim today?

Well, you know, I never thought we would get along like we did.

It was a little awkward at first, but, uh...

Then it was like we each knew what the other was doing before she did it. Yeah?

Yeah, I think it was because we were both trained by Dolph. Kind of made it

easy. Good. Maybe you can hook up with her instead of Carlos.

Yeah, that would be good. I didn't mind having a little girl talk.

Girl talk?

I thought you didn't like the G word.

Girl?

I don't mind being called a girl.

I just don't like when assumptions are made because I am one. Oh, I made

assumptions? Yes.

You thought I needed to be protected and I don't need to be protected. Come on,

Al. The guy was talking about showing you his stuff.

What was I supposed to do?

It's very sweet that you're worried about me.

But I've got to be out there without you.

You don't want me to be defenseless, do you?

Sort of, yeah.

All right. Well, the next time there's a chance for me to call you to a rescue,

I will.

You promise?

I promise. All right.

See you tonight?

What, are you kidding?

Carlos is out of the house?

We're going to tear the place down.

Yeah, see, I'm supposed to be the man when it comes to that, right?

Mm -hmm. And I always let you think you are.

Oh.

You better watch it.

Will you at least talk to me?

No.

I don't want you to be sorry. Sorry?

He had a hundred rocks on his face. It's one of the best collars I ever made.

He's your brother.

Yeah, I know who he is. I got one in custody, boss.

Look, I want you to think about this before you turn it in. My job.

No, answering radio calls is our job.

Maybe you should ride with Sullivan.

What are you going to tell your mother? I don't know. Maybe I'll tell her Tommy

stopped pretending he was a piece of trash.

Well, there are better ways.

Yeah? Well, that's the way it presented itself today.

You're going to be all right, Mikey.

Not a bad day, huh?

Yeah. Seemed kind of smooth, didn't it?

Kind of right.

Yeah, kind of right.

Yeah.

Except the listing of that big guy part.

Oh, listing.

Definitely. Sorry.

Are you seeing David?

What?

I don't know. I just kind of got a vibe off the two of you.

You know, I've worked with Carlos.

He lives with Ty.

And he never had a clue.

So you are.

Well, I don't know exactly what you'd call it, but it's definitely more than

proud.

You go, girl.

He's hot.

Yeah, he is, isn't he?

Yeah, he is definitely hot.

They admitted her.

I'm so sorry.

I just lived for two minutes, you know? She may have to have surgery to close

the wound.

They won't know for a couple days.

I thought that, you know, she would be fine.

Probably have to see a specialist.

When this is all over with, she's going back to the nursing home.

I'm so sorry.

You should have never let her leave there in the first place.

I never, never meant that she was gonna get hurt.

I had definitely learned some things.

One of the things I learned was how impossible it is to sleep in a hospital.

They wake you up every 20 minutes for one damn thing or another.

Roger, my roommate, was a little quieter now, but he still talked more than any

human being I've ever met.

Well, I guess he had years of stupor to make up for.

Remember I said you never see it coming, that thing that changes your life?

I had no idea what was on my horizon when I walked down that hallway.

Hey, is that guy's name Jerry?

Uh, yeah, Jerry Mankiewicz.

No kidding.

I used to work with him.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. He got shot.

I guess he's fully recovered.

I guess.

Where do you know him from?

I don't really. He just works for my personal injury attorney.

I think he's some type of investigator.

Really?

Yeah.

What are you two doing out of bed?

I'm having trouble sleeping.

How about if I tuck you in?

Excuse me?

I'm sure I can find a way to help you sleep.

Yeah. Sounds good to me.

And there it is.

If I hadn't fallen off the fire pole, if I hadn't gotten a concussion, If I

didn't have a roommate who never shut up, if I hadn't gone down the hall to

some kid in a walker about Jerry Mankiewicz, I would not have been

there 30 seconds after Tammy Sizemore found out her fiancé was sleeping with

best friend.

And I never would have had life -changing sex in room 503 of Our Lady of

Hospital that night.

Life, you really never see it coming.