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♪
2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,659
[crowd cheering]
3
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:13,274
I think I've really
outdone myself
4
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,189
this St. Patrick's Day.
5
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:17,278
Check it: As the
float glides down
6
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,193
Michigan Avenue, the
leaves are gonna undulate,
7
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:20,455
symbolizing change,
8
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,109
but they move in a
discordant fashion,
9
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,198
because real change
is never gonna come...
10
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,416
Wow.
11
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,417
That's really gonna make
12
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,332
an impact with the drunks
13
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,551
on the
parade route.
14
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,118
How is that gonna
be ready in two days?
15
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,336
I've got a crack team
of artisans
16
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,120
working around the clock on it.
17
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,078
And by "artisans,"
you mean interns?
18
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,775
Your word. And yes.
19
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:38,212
SIMON:
Good morning, campers.Oh! Clover down!
20
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,256
Hide the float!
ANDREW:Gentle!
21
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,953
She's delicate.
22
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:42,085
So why are we gathering?
Did someone on
23
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,130
Downton Abbey
overstep their bounds?
24
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,305
Mosley is in debt.Ooh, well...
25
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,741
I will applaud your
discretion when you leave.
26
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,438
[Dowager voice]:
I am now caught up to speed.
Thank you.
27
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,179
Spoiler alert:
We have the fifth
28
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:50,659
round of auditions
for Krispy Kreme today.
29
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,182
We are going to find
that spokeswoman.
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00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:53,314
Yeah, how hard
can it be to find
31
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,359
a hot, skinny girl who
believably loves donuts?
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00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,447
SIMON:True. Time to
get it on, guys.
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00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:58,797
Andrew, Zach, my office.
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00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:01,539
["Danny Boy" begins playing]
35
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,671
Is that...
36
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,107
No.
No.No...
37
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,369
No, no, come on, guys.
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[Irish accent]:
I know that's "Danny Boy."
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00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:07,458
You don't
have to hide
40
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,112
St. Patrick's Day
from me.
41
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,722
We don't?
No, no!
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00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,376
Why would I have a problem
43
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,769
with a holiday that
turns this entire town
44
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:14,987
into a drunken frat party?
45
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,772
Where a man can't
walk three feet
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00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,208
without someone
vomiting green beer
47
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,514
on his new Tod's driving mocs?
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00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,211
Where you're asked to
kiss someone based on
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00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,995
their ethnicity,
which is racist.
50
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,214
Oh, so you don't like
St. Patrick's Day.
51
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,259
Oh, no,
I used to love it
52
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,348
when I was drinking.
I also used to carry around
53
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,132
a badger named Bob,
because I thought that was cool.
54
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:30,177
Okay...
We were just
talking about
55
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,309
the charity float.Ah, the charity float.
56
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,355
And what's the theme this year,
Slumlords Without Borders?
57
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,008
Actually, we got
a good one this year.
58
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,009
No, no need.
Please.
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00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:38,359
No, come on, now.
60
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,360
You guys just carry on
with your festivities.
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00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,188
If anyone needs me,
I'll be in my office
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00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,755
trying to stick a shillelagh
where the sun don't shine.
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00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:45,801
[chuckles]
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00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,238
Okay, so I was gonna
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00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,196
paint shamrocks
on my face,
66
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:50,806
but I-I think
I'll hold off.
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00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,199
That's good,
because he hates it.
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00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:53,330
I... I try really hard
69
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,289
to protect him from all this,
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00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:56,333
so everyone,
remember:
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00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,205
no mention of
St. Patrick's Day.
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Okay.
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WOMAN:
Happy St. Patrick's Week!
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00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:03,558
WOMEN [chanting]:
St. Patrick's Week!
75
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,603
St. Patrick's Week!
76
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:08,389
Hey, little Andy!
We surprised you!
77
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,739
What is this coven?
WOMAN:
Look how cute he is!
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00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:13,307
My sisters.
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00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,440
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
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00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,095
♪ Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
81
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,967
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
82
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:24,753
♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
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00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,189
♪ Oh, oh, oh
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00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,888
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh.
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00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,238
[screaming]
ANDREW:
What a wonderful
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00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,327
surprise!
What are you guys doing here?
87
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,111
[sisters laughing]
88
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,330
Why didn't you tell us
the new parade route
89
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,635
goes right in front
of your building?
90
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,420
We're going to hang out with you
while we stake our spot.
91
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,335
For two whole days?You know, this
place is great.
92
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,249
How come we've
never been here?
93
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,251
Yeah, well, we get
really busy around here.
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00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,252
You should'vecalled.
95
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,992
This might not be
the best time...Hey, Andy,
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00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,429
where's the bunny going?I don't know.
97
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,908
Ow!
SISTERS:
Oh!
98
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,258
Every time!
99
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:54,304
Ah, these must be the
famous Keaneally sisters.
100
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,872
Yeah, let me introduce
them in order of DUIs.
101
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,222
We got Katherine, Elaine,
Eileen, Ellen, Helen and Molly.
102
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,354
Well, that's
a mouthful.
103
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,356
I'll show you a mouthful.
104
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:06,229
So who's this slab of Blue
Ribbon USDA Prime filet, huh?
105
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,317
[giggles]
106
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:08,275
Did I just giggle?
107
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,276
Uh, I'm Zachary.
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00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,321
And, uh,
I-I'm Sydney.
109
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,932
The one who's too good to
go out with our Andy. Huh.
110
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:15,282
Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
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00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:16,283
Hey, Sydney.
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00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,284
Where's the bunny going?
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00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,460
ANDREW:
Okay. No, no.
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00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,288
She's my boss, she's my boss.
Thank you.
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00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:22,376
Uh, it was
a-a pleasure
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00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,900
meeting you guys.
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00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:25,901
Who's that?Andrew's sisters.
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00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:27,337
ANDREW:
Oh, my God.
119
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,469
Here comes my boss.
Cover up, cover up.
120
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,253
Why?Nobody mention
St. Patrick's Day,
121
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,081
all right?What the hell
are you talking about?
122
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,256
It's your favorite holiday!
123
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,257
Not today, it's not.
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00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,302
Andrew, are these
your sisters,
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00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:38,043
or is there a supermodel
convention in town?SISTERS: Oh!
126
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:39,697
That's good, that's nice,
127
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:41,264
but we're-we're not supermodels,
128
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,265
we're just
grade-school teachers.
129
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,311
Just grade-school teachers?
Come on!
130
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,355
[laughing]
131
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,270
They're hilarious,
but they are leaving.
132
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,402
No, don't leave!
Make yourselves at home!
133
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:49,490
[quietly]:
Don't make
yourselves at home.
134
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,927
Mi oficina
es su oficina.
135
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,277
Oh, gracias por
su hospitalidad.
136
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,148
I only know
oficina.
137
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,193
He only knows oficina.
138
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,151
So what brings you
beauties to town, eh?
139
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:03,155
Oh, well, that jagbag
says we can't say, so...
140
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,332
The St. Patrick's
Day Parade!
141
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,204
Our favorite holiday!Oh... wow, wow!
142
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,684
Yeah, thanks for
the home base, Simon.
143
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:10,902
Where do you
keep your snacks?
144
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,556
Way on the other
side of the office.
145
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,079
Out of sight,
out of mind.Okay.
146
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,342
Here we go.
Let's go.
147
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:16,299
Bye!
148
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,345
Molly, bring the beer!
149
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:19,998
We don't want anyone to take it.
150
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,565
Great.
151
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,175
They're really
settling in.
152
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,351
["Danny Boy" plays]
153
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,138
Wonderful.
154
00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:37,494
Krispy Kreme.
155
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,017
They're cool when they're hot.
156
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,541
That was
terrific.
Thank you.
157
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,238
You nailed it.
Amazing.
158
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,457
I hated her.
159
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,023
Did you?
160
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,590
She did go
to Julliard.Thank God we have
161
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,896
another round
of auditions tomorrow.
162
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:50,464
Look, Roger, I'm not
trying to rush you,
163
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,030
but we do shoot this
campaign in two days.
164
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,249
How hard is it
165
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,598
to find the perfect woman?
166
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,208
I told you guys,
167
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,906
I want the total package.
168
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,908
Mm-hmm.
Okay, well,
the perfect woman,
169
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,910
total package thing
doesn't really exist.
170
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,477
I mean, you know,
what if we tried
171
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,130
to maybe appeal
to everyone?
172
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,436
Yep.
Take a page
173
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,829
from Dove's
"Campaign for Real Beauty,"
174
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,744
where they used women
of all shapes, sizes, colors.
175
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:12,616
It was scary at first,
but then we got used to it
176
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,183
and it was great.
177
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,184
Normal women.
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00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,185
Mm-hmm.
ANDREW:
Yeah.
179
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:18,579
That is interesting.
180
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:22,974
What? Why are you
looking at me like that?
181
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,802
Did I have...?
182
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,151
Did I eat
a prop again?
183
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,370
Because that
tasted real.
184
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,590
Why don't you try
and say the line?
185
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:30,939
Me?
Her?
186
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,419
Yeah.
She's cute normal, right?
187
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,725
Um, well...
188
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,814
while it's flattering
to be called "normal,"
189
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,642
um, I-I'm not
an actress.
190
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:40,601
I wouldn't even know
how to say...
191
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:41,863
Krispy Kreme...
192
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:43,168
They're cool when they're hot.
193
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,388
Wow. Wow.
194
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,607
You know what?
195
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:47,564
That's it.
196
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,392
I think we found our new
Krispy Kreme Girl!
197
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,307
I'm gonna go ahead
and agree with you.
198
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,656
I'm on board
with you.
Yeah?
199
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,614
Wait, you guys,
this is crazy.
200
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:54,615
I'm the creativedirector
201
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,399
of this agency.Mm-hmm.
202
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,053
Although I did do some
commercial work as a child.
203
00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:00,272
Okay, I guess, you know,
what the client wants,
204
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:01,535
the client wants, right?
205
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,275
I'll just go...
206
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,887
cancel tomorrow's
round of auditions.
207
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,236
This is nuts.
208
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:08,324
Mmm.
209
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,499
She was...
she was great, right?
210
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,240
She feels great.I-I-I love her.
211
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:12,241
She feels great.
212
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,503
Here's your
coffees, fellas.
213
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:14,678
Can't have donuts
214
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:15,462
without coffee.
215
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:16,463
Krispy Kreme.
216
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,073
They're cool when they're hot.
217
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,596
[Lauren laughs]
218
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,119
No, no, no, no, no, no,
wait, wait, that'sher.
219
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,252
That's the total
package.
220
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,688
That's what I'm
talking about!
221
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:25,646
I love her!
222
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,299
I hated that whole
"normal" thing.
223
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,345
Huh?
Congratulations.
224
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,478
Oh...You are our new
Krispy Kreme Girl.
225
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,654
You're telling
Sydney.
I am not telling her.
226
00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:34,698
Thank you!
227
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,658
[Irish accent]:
Oh! Top o' the afternoon
228
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,529
to ya, Simon.You, too, missy.
229
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,009
Quick tip...
SIMON:Uh-huh?
230
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,228
If you run out of tape,
you can always use gum.
231
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,229
Wow.
232
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,100
Even on imported
Venezuelan teak?
233
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,667
Isn't that a neat
tip there, Andrew?
234
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,277
Hey, hey,
hey, guys...
235
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,626
Uh, thing is,
we don't really
236
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,932
celebrate St. Patrick's Day
up here in the office.
237
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,934
It's kind of taboo.
238
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,936
Like, you know, talking about
Cousin Bill's secret family.
239
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,112
Oh, those kids have
such beautiful skin...
240
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,679
like caramel.
241
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,376
I wouldn't really
say it's... taboo!
242
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,638
I got you![laughs]
243
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,031
You're not
wearing green.
244
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,380
It's a pinch
for the Grinch!
245
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,163
You sure got me, all right!
246
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,164
I think you struck bone!
247
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,731
I was due for a prostate exam.
248
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:08,732
What a fun tradition!
249
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,169
No wonder you don't
have an ass, Andrew.
250
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:12,606
I am so sorry
about my sisters.
251
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,129
I crack myself up.
252
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,522
SIMON:
Pardon me, ladies.
253
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:16,740
Coming through.
254
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,263
Thank you, no, thank you.
255
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,264
It's S-Simon Roboto.
256
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,179
Simon Roboto, Simon Roboto...
257
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,268
Sydney!
258
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,269
Sydney.
259
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,532
Oh, Dad! Look what I found.
260
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:26,489
The craziest thing happened.
You are never
261
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,099
going to believe it.
W... why are you a robot?
262
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,274
[whispering]:
Come closer to the screen.
263
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,537
It's the sisters.
264
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,277
They're a lot to take.
265
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,583
They're so gropey,
266
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,497
and you know I bruise
like a Bartlett pear.
267
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,107
But, Dad, if they're
bothering you, I'll just
268
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,587
ask them to leave.No, no, no, we can't.
269
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:38,501
They're the only thing
worse than family.
270
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,502
They're other people's family.
271
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,721
[shudders]
272
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:41,852
So what's the good news, kiddo?
273
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,332
The client wants me to be
274
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,551
the new Krispy Kreme Girl!
275
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,117
You are?
Yeah.
276
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,554
Shut up.
Sign my boob.
277
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:48,903
Whoa.
278
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,165
SYDNEY: For real?ELAINE: Yeah.
279
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,166
Whoa, whoa.Okay.
280
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,515
No. Gotta go.
281
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,214
Okay. So just-just go
in there and tell her.
282
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,215
No, you tell her.
283
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,347
No, you tell her.
284
00:07:58,390 --> 00:07:59,522
Somebody tell me.
285
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,741
Oh, my God,
can she hear us?
286
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:01,872
Could she always hear us?
287
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,352
What about when we made
fun of her side bun?
288
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:04,658
Could she hear us then?
289
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,573
You notice I don't wear
that side bun anymore, right?
290
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:09,010
What do you want?
291
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:10,577
Syd!How's it going today?
292
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,753
Hey, what do you...
we didn't know
you were in here.
293
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:13,797
My gosh.
[chuckles]
294
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,799
Um, Andrew wanted to
tell you something.
295
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,975
See, Syd, donut thinking
is often circular.
296
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,150
Sydney,
did you hear?
297
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,152
I'm going to be
the new Krispy Kreme Girl!
298
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:23,372
Really?
299
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:24,373
Yeah!
See, uh...
300
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:25,592
Syd, they wanted to go back
301
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,811
to that total package thing,
and, obviously, that's just...
302
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,421
I really wouldn't go there.
Let's not stir up her jealousy.
303
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:30,597
We don't want a cat fight.
304
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,946
Unless it leads to
a make-out session,
305
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,948
which they always
do. Always.
306
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,689
Guys, I am not jealous. Okay?
307
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,994
It's whatever the client wants.
308
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:37,995
They went in
a different direction,
309
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,214
I get it.
310
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,694
Oh, wait, they were
gonna use you?
311
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:41,651
Lauren, it's not a big deal.
312
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:42,652
I'm thrilled for you.
313
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:43,914
Really?
314
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:45,960
Because I wanted to ask
you some pointers, you know,
315
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,701
since you did all those
brownie commercials.
316
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:48,963
Cookies, actually.Uh...
317
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,007
I mean, I-I don't
personally care,
318
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,052
but I wouldn't want to diminish
319
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,357
the accomplishments
of the baker.
320
00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:53,358
Right.
321
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,622
I'm so happy for you!
322
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:56,623
Thanks.
323
00:08:58,625 --> 00:08:59,582
Good meeting.
Okay.
324
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:00,583
That was good.
325
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,063
I think it went well.
326
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,239
Not much of a catfight.
327
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,634
Hey, guys...
guess what time it is.
328
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:08,765
It's beer o'clock!
329
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,724
[cheering]
330
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:11,986
That's what I'm
talking about!
331
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:14,597
We need to relocate this party
away from my robo-dad.
332
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:15,816
They don't listen to me.
333
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,818
Don't worry.
I got this.
334
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:18,819
Hey, no way are you
335
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,647
beautiful ladies
drinking here.
336
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,213
I'm taking you out tonight
337
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:23,650
to party Chicago-style!
338
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,826
[cheering]Let's do it!
339
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,305
Time to get this
party started!
340
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,089
I'll go ask Simon.
341
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,090
No!
Nope.
342
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,091
Well...
343
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:32,006
my dad's an alcoholic.
344
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:34,182
Ooh, those guys are the
most fun to drink with.
345
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,313
Not this one.
346
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,054
Why don't you gals
pre-party in the break room,
347
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,273
and we'll meet you
there in a bit? Huh?
348
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:39,535
All right.All right.
349
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,754
We got your number.It's a good one.
350
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,277
We're waiting for you.Let's go. Come on.
351
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,495
I got my eye...
ZACH:
I'm watching you.
352
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:44,758
...on you.
353
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,847
[chanting]:
Let's get drunk!
Let's get drunk!
354
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:47,848
Let's get drunk!
355
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,110
Let's get drunk...
356
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,286
I'm gonna go get
hydrated in my office.
357
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,724
Oh, my God.Yeah.
358
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:03,080
ANDREW:
So I realized the only thing
359
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,039
the float was missing
was the statement.
360
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:07,215
So I rigged the fourth
leaf of the clover
361
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,652
to break off when we get
to the viewing stand.
362
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:12,786
I don't know what that means.
363
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,004
How could that
be more clear?
364
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,790
With the disastrous economy,
12% unemployment...
365
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,661
Ireland can no longer
rely on luck.
366
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,924
So the four-leaf
shamrock becomes...
367
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,796
just a clover.
You know what?
368
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,015
Art should make you work.
I'm glad you don't get it.
369
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:27,496
Wait. When did you
do all of this?
370
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,280
You didn't leave the
bar until, like, 2:00.
371
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:30,151
And you were
really drunk.
372
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:31,674
No, you were drunk.
I drank a lot.
373
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,241
There's a difference.
374
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,722
I'm a Keaneally. We're known
for our high tolerance.
375
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,767
And our strangely short
second toes.
376
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,074
Well, I have
the Roberts Hangover.
377
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,250
I just pray that
today is a quiet day.
378
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:43,947
SIMON:
No...!
379
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,297
What have they
done to me?
380
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,125
I look like a lepre...
381
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:51,346
chaun...!
382
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:52,913
He really looks
like a leprechaun
383
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:53,827
when he's mad.
384
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,306
Please don't call
him a leprechaun.
385
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,047
Someone give him back
his pot of gold.
386
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,614
Or mention pots of gold.
387
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,398
To be fair, it's really
no more upsetting
388
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,705
than you as Cupid
on Valentine's Day.It was only upsetting
389
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,576
because the arrow fell off
and skewered Carl.
390
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,795
I'm gonna get
an aspirin.
391
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,624
Andrew, find Zach,
meet me in my office.
392
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,626
He's already
in there.
393
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,759
Heads up,
he had a rough night.
394
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,763
Whoa! What the hell have
you she-devils done to him?
395
00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,068
He looks like
a crack clown.
396
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,766
How could you let him
drink so much?
397
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:20,984
You're hard-drinking sailors.
398
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,117
He's an ad guy
with a human liver.
399
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,640
Zach, wake up,wake up.
400
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,947
I don't want to go
to school, Mom.Oh...
401
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,340
Don't worry, all that stuff
washes off.
402
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,125
Really?
403
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,344
[all exclaim]That's not washing off.
404
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:36,130
You broke my Zach!
Why can't I have nice things?
405
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,827
What did they do?
406
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:38,872
No, I wouldn't...
407
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,874
No, don't.Oh, my eye!
408
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,876
My face! My shayna punim!
409
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:46,009
Yeah, here's where
it happened.
410
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:48,359
WOMEN:
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! GO!
411
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,144
[all exclaim]
412
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,841
[vomits]
413
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,153
Oh, we popped his eye!
414
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,632
Pop the other eye!
415
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,591
Pop the other eye!
416
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,201
There was chanting.Yeah.
417
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,899
So much chanting.
Endless chanting.
418
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:07,117
We have a meeting today.
419
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:09,598
We're supposed to pitch
to the Lady Razor ladies.
420
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,165
I'll be fine.
421
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,341
Hey, look, boss,
I can still be charming, huh?
422
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:14,646
[all gasp]
Oh, God!
423
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:17,954
[all groaning]
424
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,219
ANDREW:
I knew we were in trouble
425
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:25,005
when the taller Lady Razor lady
started crying and said,
426
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,223
"Can that one
stop looking at me?"
427
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,138
We have to write
a whole new campaign.
428
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,662
I can't believe you went out
partying with no regard
429
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,360
for how much we rely
on your face.
430
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,057
I'm sorry, boss.
I'd take my own life
431
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,407
if only these Lady Razor razors
weren't so damned safe.
432
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:39,454
My God, what more
can those harridans do?
433
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,240
Where's my big boxing robot?
434
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,722
Are you kidding me?!
435
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,680
Come on! You've really
crossed a line this time!
436
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,813
You come in, you think
you can just take over.
437
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:51,945
You think you own everything!
438
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,816
You pinch, you punch, you...Hey!
439
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,819
You stole Fizzy Lifting Drinks!
You bumped into the ceiling,
440
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,516
so you get...ALL: Nothing!
441
00:12:58,560 --> 00:12:59,996
Do not Willy Wonka me.
442
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,259
You want to know why I've never
invited you to where I work?
443
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:03,434
Because you're
an embarrassment.
444
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:06,002
All of you! I mean, you
have no social skills!
445
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,917
You can't even pick up
on simple social cues!
446
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,179
And only one of you can blame it
447
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,485
on an actual
Asperger's diagnosis!
448
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,400
Hey!
449
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,097
Message received.
450
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:16,186
Come on, girls.
Let's hit the bar.
451
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,884
You coming, Andy?
452
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,712
No, I'm not coming
to the bar! I have to work!
453
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:23,106
It's Dad all over again.
454
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,848
Dad never screamed
that high.
No.
455
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,981
I still want to know
why he was yelling.
456
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:29,939
[quiet, indistinct chatter]
457
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:33,856
Blaine, you're in charge
of getting rid
458
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,902
of everything
St. Patrick's Day-related.
459
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,729
Leave no Blarney Stone
unturned.
460
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:39,209
Lauren, take the
date March 17
461
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,254
off of every calendar
in this office.
462
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,516
It no longer exists.
463
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,083
But that's my birthday.Pick another one.
464
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,998
May I suggest something
in early December?
465
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,434
You'll be a Sagittarius.
They're creative,
466
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:47,957
they love to travel.
467
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,567
From now on, there'll be
no more shenanigans.
468
00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:52,005
This is a place of business.
We will act as professionals.
469
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,354
And if anyone needs me,
470
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,009
I'll be in my office playing
with my big boxing robot.
471
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,665
I bet they just
captured a mom
472
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,929
and made her give them
the recipe.
473
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,931
Now, you see what I did
with "her" there?
474
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:07,020
"Her. Her."
I came in big.
475
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,109
That's called
having an intention.
476
00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:10,284
Okay, now you try it.
477
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,503
I got it. Intention.
478
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:15,593
Krispy Kreme.
They're cool when they're hot.
479
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:16,725
That's perfect!
480
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:18,074
Here, have a piece of candy.
481
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,902
Yay! What for?
482
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,122
Positive reinforcement. Every
time you say the line like that,
483
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,124
I want you to give yourself
a piece of candy.
484
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,343
Oh.It totally worked for me
when I was a child actor.
485
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:28,737
I didn't have to have any
of my baby teeth pulled.
486
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:31,044
They all rotted out.Wow. You really were
a good actress.
487
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:33,960
I'm in a medical book.
488
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:37,006
What the float happened
to my float, Blaine?!
489
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,573
Where's my float?!Simon said to get rid
490
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:39,791
of anything
St. Patrick's Day.
491
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:41,184
In the office, not my float!
492
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,143
I see we made
a slight boo-boo.
Come on, Andrew.
493
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,318
You may not have a float,
494
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:45,362
but we'll still give money
495
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:46,537
to whatever
lame charity you picked.
496
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:47,974
It's actually for kids, Simon.
497
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,758
Whatever lame
kids charity you picked.
498
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:53,283
Hey, mister, are we gonna get
our picture taken on the float?
499
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,111
My God, it really is
a lame kids charity.
500
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,852
No, I just
twisted my ankle.
501
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,854
Oh, good.Yeah, we actually got a
good charity this year.
502
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,117
It's an after-school arts
program for inner-city kids.
503
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,119
Oh. Who's the tall kid?
504
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,600
I'm Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
505
00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,167
Wow! Yay!And this tiny guy
506
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:10,822
insisted we call the
charity "Simon's Kids."
507
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:13,608
Oh. Does anyone else
feel the room spinning?
508
00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:16,306
We're not gonna be in the
parade this year, mister?
509
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,742
No, Cameron,
510
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:20,006
because the man
destroyed my float.
511
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,529
ABDUL-JABBAR:
I was looking forward
512
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:22,965
to seeing the clover's
undulating leaves.
513
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:23,966
No-no!
Wait-wait-wait!
514
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,533
No-no!
There's gonna be a float.
515
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,013
It's just not finished yet.
516
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,318
Do you know
where the float is?
517
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,841
It's in the leprechaun's
workshop.
518
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:30,973
And they're working on it
519
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,975
night and day because
it's not a union workshop.
520
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,194
And you know what?
521
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,022
It's gonna be
a most wonderful float
522
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,371
you've ever seen there,
Tiny Tim.
523
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:39,025
It's gonna sham-rock your world.
524
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,027
Okay, team,
to the float cave.
525
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,593
Ah!
526
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,987
Do we even have
a float cave?
527
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,033
I'm not sure.
Let's find out.Okay.
528
00:15:56,651 --> 00:16:00,002
This is feeling good.
How long we been at it?
529
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,134
Little over two hours.Oh.
530
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,005
Okay, let's just
take a minute
531
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,225
to objectively evaluate
what we've done.Okay.
532
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,924
SIMON:
And the parade starts in...
533
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,925
A little over ten hours.
534
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,187
So we're...Screwed.
535
00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,624
And even if we do finish--
which is highly unlikely--
536
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,800
it's just gonna be a
flatbed of green Post-its.
537
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:19,065
Or is it a magical green snake
that was driven out of Ireland?
538
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,023
No, we're screwed. And we're
almost out of Post-its.
539
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,372
Oh, how'd it go?!
540
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:23,895
Got fired.
What?
541
00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:25,941
I mean, didn't you use
my candy technique?
542
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,423
Oh, she used it
and used it and used it.
543
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,257
What's my line again?
544
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:41,043
Let's do this!
545
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,653
[candy crunching]
546
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,699
Ooh.
547
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,527
Krispy Kreme.
They're cool when they're hot
548
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,137
and they're hot
when they're cool
549
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,008
and they're cool
when they're hot!
550
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:53,099
Feels good on my gums.
551
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,318
This is my fault.
552
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:56,754
My secret candy technique
backfired.
553
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:59,105
[quietly]:
Oh, at least someone's
taking responsibility.
554
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:00,541
Excuse me. What was
that snide mumble?
555
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,108
I do not snide-mumble.Really?
556
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:04,066
Because if we're
looking to lay blame,
557
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,198
I gave you a meaningful look
558
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,590
suggesting you control
your sisters.
559
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:08,505
Uh, you were the one
who invited my sisters to stay.
560
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,159
You didn't need
to destroy my float.
561
00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:11,682
I didn't mean to
destroy your float.Well, you did.
562
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,249
It's kind of gone.
I don't get it.
563
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:15,121
There's plenty
of boozy holidays.
564
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:16,339
On New Year's,
you're the
565
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,211
first one into
a diaper and top hat.
566
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:19,777
It's a tradition!Yeah, we could lose that.
567
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,649
I just don't get
why you're so opposed
568
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,520
to this particular holiday.
569
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:26,132
I'll tell you why.
570
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:28,438
I used to own this town
on St. Patrick's Day.
571
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,092
I miss that. Not the drinking.
572
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,225
I miss the camaraderie,
the letting go.
573
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,922
That was the night
you took it
574
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:36,142
to the next level.
You tell embarrassing stories,
575
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,448
the joy of a group of
total strangers coming together
576
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,320
to flip over an O'Doul's truck.
That's pretty cool.
577
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,322
That's you every day.
578
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:45,107
Yeah, but that was the night
all of Chicago did it with me.
579
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,588
Simon, we always want
to hang out with you.
580
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,024
It's my fault.
I was trying
581
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,112
to protect you
from all of it.
582
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:52,332
I'm sorry you
felt left out.Aw, baby.
583
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,377
How's it going, Zacky?
584
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:55,944
WOMEN:
Zacky...!Oh, my God.
585
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,380
How did you find me?
586
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,208
Oh, after you passed out
last night,
587
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,036
we had a a microchip
implanted in your neck.
588
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,343
What? Seriously?
589
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:05,040
No, I texted them, jagbag.
590
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,999
Nice use of jagbag.
We're here to help.
591
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,132
Come on. Even after
I was such a jerk?
592
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:13,353
Oh, Andy, you can get
as fancy as you want,
593
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:14,397
but as long as you have
594
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,356
that short second toe,
you're one of us.
595
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,401
Please tell me
you can help us.
596
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,186
What? Of course they can.
597
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,188
They're grade-school teachers.
598
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:25,408
Masters of the hastily
thrown together art project.
599
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:28,237
It's all about the three G's:
glue, glitter and gin.
600
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:31,414
Yeah, all right, ladies,
let's hit the streets.
601
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:32,415
Anything green, we want it.
602
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,243
Ooh, someone should snag
that neon rainbow sign
603
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,723
from the gay bar
on the corner.
604
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,594
I'd do it, but I don't
want another strike.
605
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:38,639
On it.Great.
606
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:39,988
I got the gin.ANDRE: By "ladies,"
607
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,207
you meant me,
too, right?
608
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,122
There's a homeless
Packers fan over on Third.
609
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,690
I like these girls.
610
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,999
♪
611
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:10,975
♪ Oh, Danny boy, the pipes,
the pipes are calling ♪
612
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:14,762
♪ From glen to glen
and down the mountainside ♪
613
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:20,333
♪ The summer's gone
and all the flowers dying ♪
614
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:23,336
♪ It's you who must go
and I must bide. ♪
615
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,339
Here's a secret
not even Andy knows.Uh-oh.
616
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,429
The doctor was caught
in a snowstorm...Oh, yeah.
617
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,865
...so we circumcised him.
618
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,302
[all laugh]
We did!
619
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,435
There's no such thing as
an emergency circumcision.
620
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,263
You could have
waited for the thaw.
621
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,655
[all laugh]
622
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:41,223
I should be mad, but you
guys did a fantastic job.
623
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,225
Simon, you tell
us a secret.
624
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,487
Okay.
625
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,010
I once French-kissed
Wolf Blitzer.
626
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,490
Oh! On a dare?
627
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,274
On a yacht.
628
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,276
Ted Turner makes you dance
for your dinner.
629
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,278
[all laugh]
630
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,323
Okay, I have a secret.
631
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,065
Lauren...
632
00:19:57,108 --> 00:20:00,068
I think I might have been
a little jealous of you.
633
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,288
I didn't mean to
give you bad advice.
634
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:05,291
I don't know why I'm
such a know-it-all.You're not a know-it-all.
635
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,684
I think I would know
if I'm a know-it-all.
636
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,382
I swear I meant well.
637
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:10,383
I know that.
638
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,819
And jealous of me?
639
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,864
Sydney, you're my role model.
640
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:16,954
You're smart and tough,
but still nice to people.
641
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,174
If I could suck
your life force dry, I would.
642
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:22,960
That's the sweetest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
643
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:27,313
I-I'd like to phrase my secret
in the form of a question:
644
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:30,272
Did Elaine and I
do it last night?
645
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,318
Like most of the guys
I hook up with,
646
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,319
you'll never know.
647
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:35,059
[all exclaim and laugh]
648
00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:37,061
SIMON:Look at this.
Inappropriate hookups,
649
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:40,326
sharing secrets: best
St. Patrick's Day I've ever had.
650
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:42,328
ALL:
Aw...
651
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:48,682
[yelling]
652
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,684
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
653
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:52,555
MAN [mumbling]:
Okay, mark.
Ready cam record.
654
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:55,732
[mimics mumbling]
655
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:58,039
Oh, I wasn't crazy?
656
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,565
I can't believe I'm doing this.
657
00:21:33,074 --> 00:21:35,032
You stinker!
46809
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