Original subtitles

[static]

[program jingle]

[interference]

Tamarismo really came as a blessing for all of its protagonists.

A true gift in form of instant recognition.

But few understood how to enjoy it as much as Tony Genil.

Tony Genil knew better than anyone how fleeting fame could actually be.

For some today, Tony Genil is simply a ghost of that time.

Another vampire who tried to take advantage of Tamara's success,

even if it was through insults and defamation.

[program jingle]

But Tony Genil is so much more.

[drum beating]

Rumor has it that he met Michael Jackson himself

and even cooked him a plate of pasta in tomato sauce.

[wolf howls]

If you happen to meet him one night, and that night is enchanted enough,

he'll tell you the truth.

-[drumming stops] -[Joaquín] The whole truth. [echoing]

A NETFLIX MAGAZINE SHOW

[magazine show jingle]

IN COLLABORATION WITH SUMA CONTENT FILMS AND EVENTS

FOR: SOUTH MADRID LOCAL TELEVISION NETWORK

SPONSORED BY: SOLDEVILLA SNACKS PIÑEIRO POULTRY

AND PABLO MORILLAS'S WIDOW'S MATTRESS STORE

MARÍA'S TIME

HOSTED BY:

WITH:

AND…

Ah, Paco, give me a break.

Satan? The man was in a catatonic trance.

-Bullshit. -[Tony] One of those where the cramp…

-The guy was all stiff… -Keep talking. What'd he do after?

What do you think? Run to the coffee shop and get an Irish coffee?

-This is not what we talked about. -It happened to me.

Because I was drowning with María Cantudo's nephew.

-We were drowning. -Are you boycotting the interview?

Why don't you tell him that funny story of yours

about Michael Jackson?

-No, no. -[Paquita] About you making him pasta?

I don't wanna… talk about that, Paquita.

-Rubén, play the song. -[snores]

-[Tony L] When am I supposed to sing? -[Paquita] Tell it!

I don't… I don't get you, Tony. I don't get you.

You've spent half your life blabbing about it

to anyone you crossed paths with, and now you don't wanna talk?

-[Paquita] What's wrong? -I'll tell you.

Tony says that one time, the Jackson Five came to Madrid,

and they left the youngest boy in his care,

and he made him tomato pasta.

-The pasta had tuna too. -With tuna. Jesus.

-What about you? -Unbelievable. I'm sorry.

You're always telling the same story.

About how you were kidnapped in Altea, and they…

Because it's true. It's sad. I'll tell you.

It's sad my friends don't believe me.

[Tony] It's a shame to have to talk about these things all the time.

There are more important things.

-[Paco] Of course. -They're robbing us, come on!

-[Paco] Who? The politicians? -They're bleeding us dry. Yes!

If you wanna talk about stealing, we'll be here for a while.

A while indeed. Exactly. They've been stealing…

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to apologize for this regrettable…

-…since the Aznar government. -[Paco] No! There were others.

I was a fan of Aznar's government.

[Paco] And what about Manuela Carmena? And Mr. Ponytail?

-They haven't robbed anyone. -They sure have.

-[Tony] They haven't robbed anyone. -They have.

-I'm not a Podemos fan. -[Paco] That's a load of lies.

I am a social democrat.

-Who are you kidding? You're a communist. -I voted PSOE.

-C'mon. You live like a king. -[Tony] No.

-The right-wing, capitalist millionaires. -[Paco] You live like a king. Come on.

Okay, sure. What about the radical left?

-Radical? -Puppeteers talking to kids about ETA.

-What about--? Go ahead. Say it. -Aww. Poor man.

-[Paco] Just a bunch of cowards. -Oh, no.

Cowards? Wait, wait. Your father was a puppeteer, isn't that right?

No, no.

-[Tony] I've seen you puppeteering. -No. You better not.

-[crash] -["España, Cuánto Te Quiero" playing]

Don't go there or I'll pull the plug, and you'll be out of here.

-[music stops] -Pull the plug!

-But did he or did he not used to do that? -Yes. But he never defended the ETA.

-He never defended ETA. -[Tony] Careful with the ETA.

-[Paco] What do you mean? -Just you wait.

Wait till the Podemos come to throw out all of you who have been stealing!

[Javier] Spain is more than a geographical area!

-[Paco] Enough! That's enough. -[Javier] Paco Porras is a…

[Tony] Wait, no! The TV!

-[Paco] I can't take anymore. -[Tony] Rubén!

Tony Genil? I can't. I will never talk to him again.

-Screw this. -[beeping tone]

I'm done with this. My parents are sacred.

Play the song! Do it!

[Paco] …more decency than his family.

-["España, Cuánto Te Quiero" playing] -[Paco] Okay? I won't put up with it.

I won't put up with him coming on my show and mocking me.

No. I can't do it. I can't.

-I'm taking the comb. -Spain is more than a geographical area!

-[Paco] Shit, I dropped this. -[Javier] Spain!

[Paco] The computer. I'm keeping that too.

-If I leave it here, I won't see it again. -[Javier] Spain!

-Spain! -[Paco] What you see here? All mine.

-I'll never see him again. -[Tony miming]

[Paco] I'm telling you.

I'm done. It's over.

Nope. No.

There are things I'm not willing to put up with.

-[continues miming] -[Javier] Spain!

SUPERSTAR

EPISODE 5

TONY GENIL AND THE BOHEMIAN SHADOWS

[ringing tone]

[operator] Hello, you have reached:

[Paco] Paco Porras. If you're Tony, leave me alone.

[operator] Leave your message after the tone.

[phone beeps]

["España, Cuánto Te Quiero" continues playing]

FANTASÍA SAUNA

[electronic music playing over speaker]

[indistinct chatter]

[men groaning]

[man sniffs]

[indistinct chatter]

[men groaning]

[man 1] Hola.

[clears throat]

[man 2 yells and moans]

[Paco] Not the nipple. I've got an injury. I've been naughty.

-[spanks] -[Paco exclaims, moans]

Paco?

Tony?

Let this be the last time I call you and you don't pick up.

I'm not picking up because I have nothing to say to you. Get lost!

Okay.

I just got here and you're kicking me out already?

I've been calling you for months, Paco.

I've been looking for you and couldn't find you anywhere.

Tony, please leave.

-No, not you. -[man] Fuck this shit.

But…

[moaning continues in background]

[Paco] What are you doing?

Why won't you answer the phone?

I won't answer the phone because whenever we go out,

I get drunk as a skunk, and I'm too old for that.

-That's not my fault. -No? Then whose is it?

Madrid's. 'Cause there's a bar on every corner.

Yeah, it does have a few. And museums and theaters.

-Aren't there theaters in Madrid? -The theater's for when we're old bitches.

God, this is tight. Fuck! [grunts]

-Tony? -What?

We are old bitches.

Speak for yourself. I'm aging like a fine wine.

Like a fine wine? When's the last time you looked in the mirror?

What for? Huh?

Why? I can see myself reflected in the eyes of men who lust after me.

[moaning in background]

-Where'd you get that from? -From nowhere. I came up with it just now.

Not only do I have the body, but I have the talent.

My blood aches as it flows through my artistic veins.

The body, you say? But you look like a croquette. Huh?

Could that be why everyone seems to like me, then?

Red wine? White wine?

Red wine. Red wine.

♪ Wine, just like the night Red wine, like the night ♪

[indistinct chatter]

-Paco, uh… -What?

-I wanted to say I'm sorry. -Mm-hmm.

I know that I… It was a bit below the belt.

I shouldn't have brought up your family.

It was a low blow.

-Didn't appreciate it. It was fucked up. -I know.

That's why I was… trying to reach you this whole time, Paco,

to apologize to you.

Well, screw you, apology not accepted.

[barman] Two glasses of red. Dark as the night.

Thanks.

-It'll be ten euros. -Put it on his tab.

Fuck's sake. Okay.

Cough it up and shut your mouth, you rat.

Look at that. Look who's on TV.

[on TV] Why? Why did they kick her out?

-What, who? -Look at the TV.

-Why did they kick Yurena out? -[woman] Wait. Here's what I think.

What I think is that she spent the whole time obsessing

over her mother and her family.

Fucking bitch.

Hey, kid. You mind turning that up?

-[barman] Of course. -Appreciate it.

Yurena's been officially kicked out of Survivors.

Thank you.

I wanted to, uh… take advantage of this moment

to thank all of the viewers who have been supporting me from home.

It's time for me now to, um… to leave the island,

to climb into that helicopter and return to Madrid

to… to keep making music.

And I also wanted to send a big, big kiss to my mama.

And I want her to know

that I have missed her very much while I've been here.

Well, that's it. That's the end of Survivors for Yurena.

Meaning she'll get to the Madrid-Barajas Adolfo Suárez Airport early tomorrow.

And our colleagues will be there to greet her and hear her first comments.

[electronic music playing]

Bring it in, brother.

Yes, fuck her! [laughing]

[both] Fuck her! Fuck her!

[Tony] Fuck! Whoa! Whoa, whoa!

[both laughing]

[music fades out]

[cars honking in distance]

[wolf howls in distance]

[rhythmic music playing over speaker]

Tony, what if we do follow your plan and go throw eggs at her?

Where do you get them? Frozen section or…

-[Tony] What? -The normal one?

-Darling! You'd buy frozen eggs? -How should I know?

-How can eggs be frozen, Paco? -I don't know.

What I do when I buy stuff, is I just grab… packaged products.

In a package.

Because whenever I touch fresh stuff with my hands,

then my head starts projecting the future. That's very tiring.

-You don't get it. You don't have powers. -Isn't it just vegetables that do that?

Like, uh, potatoes and cabbage? Vegetables were your thing.

But because chickens are herbivores, something stays in the egg.

-Herbivores? -Yes.

When I touch an egg, I see the future, but in black and white.

-And at a lower volume. -Jesus Christ. You're the herbivore.

-Leave me alone. Shut up already. -Where you going with that flag?

I'm not allowed to carry a flag now? You wanna take my ID as well?

If we show up at the airport with a flag, it'll seem like we're up to something.

-What'll it seem like? -We're doing something else.

-It's not gonna seem like anything. -The place is gonna be packed.

It'll be full of cameras.

-It'll seem like what? -That we're-- I don't know, man.

-Your problem is you're a hypocrite. -What?

You're always singing about how you love Spain. "I love you!"

The real truth is, "Spain, I don't give a shit about you."

-You're a hypocrite. -Do you know who I vote for?

-[Paco] That's the truth. -What do you know?

-Do they sell eggs here or not? -Here?

The only eggs they sell here are gummy eggs.

Gummy eggs, Paco. Want them?

No. And if there aren't any eggs, I don't want the flag either.

[Tony] I'm not taking this either, okay?

[cash register beeping]

Shame that you don't sell eggs.

Yeah. Sorry, sir.

[upbeat electronic music playing]

-[Paco] You know who you look like? -Who? What?

-Like the Home Alone kid. -What is that?

-Put your hands like this and scream. -Like this? [screams]

[Paco] That's it, Home Alone. You know nothing about movies. You--

[music stops suddenly]

What the hell?

[optimistic music playing]

Tony! Hello!

-He's taken off his wig. -What are you doing here?

Old queen looks… like a ball sack.

-[Leonardo] Hello! -Didn't he move back home?

-Tony? -Leonardo, is that you?

-Of course. Who else? -[Tony] What are you doing here?

I came to Madrid for a few days for some paperwork.

Hey, you mind grabbing my hat? I dropped it.

-Yeah, sure. -Wait. I'm coming down.

When did we last see him?

I dunno. Six or seven years more or less. Who knows?

Time's been rough on him. He looks very different.

[music fades out]

-Hello. -[Tony] Hello. Look at this guy.

He's blander than an unsalted egg. Some things don't change, am I right?

-Gimme a hug, man. -Come here.

-Bring it in! [chuckles] -Tony.

-Paco, it's been too long. How are ya? -Leonardo.

-[Leonardo laughs] -Here, man. Come on.

-There you go. -Thanks.

-What are you up to? Busy night? -We were having dinner with friends.

-[Leonardo] Oh. -Had tons of sausage.

[both chortling]

I… I'm sorry, what's so funny, man?

Come on. Join us, buddy!

No, I can't.

Tomorrow, I gotta go to the Songwriters' Association…

-Songwriters Association? What a drag. -I can't.

I said no. I gotta stop by the printshop. Please, man.

They've kicked her off the island. She's the first person. The first!

Who have they kicked off?

[can opens]

[Leonardo] To be honest, I think it's outrageous.

Well, I think that if we do that, it'll be epic.

[Leonardo] Count me out.

What's the matter? You going to therapy?

Or has the country air rid you of your trauma?

-What trauma? -Come on, Leo.

Come on. We've known each other forever. Who are you pretending for?

Listen, I'm not trying to fool anyone. I've worked through stuff.

I left Madrid 'cause I wanted to find peace.

Don't tell me you're not the teeniest-tiniest bit resentful.

Well, of course I somewhat resent Tamara. A lot went down.

-But I'm fond of her and she's-- -She's not fond of you, okay?

She's not fond of you.

For fuck's sake.

You gave her the very song that she got filthy rich off of.

-You're right. -Bitch.

Did she ever ask you to write her another one?

-Never. -Did she ask for another? No, right?

-You know why? -No, Tony. Why?

Because you actually disgust her so much, she'd take poverty and… and… and misery

over having to see your sad, gutter rat face.

Let's be honest, you fairy.

But she's made a name for herself. You've gotta hand that to her.

[Tony] Because she's a dirty fucking snake.

A leech who has sucked the blood of everyone who's crossed her path

to keep herself alive.

She's a witch. That's what she is.

And to get to where she is, she left… a trail of corpses in her path.

And those corpses?

Those corpses are us.

-Are you blind? -Give me a minute.

I can't get the printer to work. I can't do anything. I can't focus.

What's your deal with Tamara? I don't understand what she's done to you.

Do you mean… Do you mean to say

that you're just gonna blatantly ignore the signs of the magic of destiny?

-Huh? -[celestial music playing]

[Tony] You think that everything that's happened tonight is a coincidence?

No, goddamn it, no.

Can't you see? It was destiny that brought us here, together!

Tonight, time has flown. Come on, this is crazy stuff. It's cosmic.

[ATM beeping]

[Miguel] Let's get our mustache on.

[Tony] She'd take a shit on your face and then kick you to the curb.

-Paco, you explain. -[Paco] Yeah, I mean, he's not wrong.

[Tony] But… but… why… why are you touching the papers?

-Why are you touching that? -[Paco] I didn't.

[Tony] Now what are you gonna do? You're paying for them.

Don't expect us to pay.

[Leonardo] No one's asking you to do that. Just gimme a sec.

[Paco] Come on. Let's get out of here.

[Leonardo] I can't leave yet. There are still some songs to print.

[Tony] Do you think they can see us through the cameras?

-[Leonardo] Probably. -[Tony] Hello!

What was that, that footb…?

[both] ♪ We are nudists and footballers My friend Bego likes the sight ♪

Well, we're a bit old now to be doing "Futbolistas Naturistas."

-They're not gonna remember. -How'd it go?

-♪ My friend Bego likes the sight… ♪ -Who's Bego?

[Miguel] Guesemen! If it isn't Tony Genil!

You scared me! Oh! Oh, my God! What're you doing here?!

-And you're still yelling that shit! -Well, well, well, kid. Damn!

-You've packed on some pounds. -You're one to talk, fish face.

-Like seeing a ghost. -I know, right?

[Paco] Wait. Did Tony call you?

-No, I never called anyone. -[Miguel] No.

I just went out for a nighttime stroll.

-What's the matter, not glad to see me? -Leonardo, wow! I didn't recognize you.

-Miguel. -It's been so long!

-Too long. -I didn't even recognize you, man.

-How could you, now that I'm bald? -[Miguel] Finally!

-[Leonardo] About time. -Finally.

[Leonardo] It's a little embarrassing, to be honest.

-But it is what it is. -You still songwriting?

Yeah, I'm printing some songs I've been working on in Badajoz.

[Miguel] You know what? It suits you.

You remind me of… What was the name of the girl who was singing…

Who tore up the photo of the Pope?

-Oh! Oh! I know! Sinéad O'Connor! -Yeah, yeah, that's her.

Yeah. Oh, my God!

-[Miguel] Been trying to figure it out. -Sinéad O'Connor?

The girl that sings reggae.

What? Sinéad O'Connor? Sinéad O'Connor sang reggae music?

Yeah, she converted to Islam.

-No. Listen. -[Paco] Yeah, she conver-- She did.

-That was Janet Jackson. -[Paco] No.

-I follow singers' careers closely. -Janet Jackson converted to Islam?

I think she did, no?

I don't know. What you all looking at me for?

I don't know this woman. Huh?

Didn't you have some pasta with her brother?

-[Tony] Here we go again! -Bullshit.

I never believed that for one fucking minute.

-Not you or anyone. -[Leonardo] I bought it.

Well, come to think of it, yeah. Yeah, you're right, you're right.

She converted to Islam.

-Janet Jackson? -Yeah!

Yeah, and she wears a veil.

-A veil? -Yeah.

Over her shaved pussy so she won't catch a cold.

-You guys, please. C'mon. -[others cackling]

[Leonardo] Jesus, don't joke like that.

You guys are repulsive, but you are funny, to be fair.

[emotive music playing]

I can't believe we're all here, all four of us.

-[Leonardo] True. -You see?

You see, Leonardo? Huh? Plain and simple.

I mean, is it not a real coincidence?

I mean, the wildest coincidence that we, the four of us, found each other…

-[Paco] Here. At the printshop. -…on the very day she's voted off?

[wolves howling]

["Juntos" by Paloma San Basilio playing]

[loud bang]

[party horn toots]

[wolf howls]

[wolf howls]

[party horn toots]

[all singing along to "Juntos," distorted]

[party horns tooting]

-[party horns tooting] -[wolves howling]

[party horns continue tooting]

[all singing along to "Juntos"]

[Tony] Tamara and her mother came with two cents in their pocket.

They were penniless, with no place to crash.

Her mother would sit and watch her sing at some bar in Santurtzi.

-She sang and sang… -That girl couldn't sing for shit.

Her mother said, "Let's put her on a bus to Madrid."

She came, stayed at some boarding house…

-Where they should've stayed. -[Tony] They were broke…

She was trying to forge a path.

Listen. They would eat at a bar below Mari Trini's house.

And they would share a lunch deal between the two.

One would have the soup and the other would have the meatballs.

-One day. Then the next day… -[Tony] They'd swap.

The one who had the soup would get the steak.

-Artists go hungry sometimes. -Five hundred pesetas. That was the menu.

I have often wondered, if for Margarita's sake,

I shouldn't have gotten her involved in the drama.

[Miguel] Well…

But… What do you…? But I got them involved.

-What the hell do you mean? Jesus! -What do you mean?

Who was it that she was dating?

-It was me! -Okay…

Wait. Tamara was discovered by this guy.

I'm sorry. You weren't even in the picture then.

Who came up with the drama?

[Paco] What do you mean? We'd both go on TV saying she was my girlfriend.

Well, what I'm left with from those days is that when I walk down the street,

people keep asking about the drama.

-The people are expecting it. -[Leonardo] About our gang.

And what happened. And they always say they used to watch us on TV.

That's true. I'm constantly being asked when we're going to make a comeback, guys.

And that we owe it to Spain.

To Spain and to televi… to television, which gets more boring every day.

-[Paco] Nobody watches TV anymore. -I think that if we do this well, yeah?

We'll be making headlines again. Right, Paco?

-They'll lock us up. -[Tony] So what? For how long?

-With the things you say-- -Two days?

Based on what we've been doing, maybe we should be locked up.

[Tony] Come here, come here. Come, come.

-[Miguel] A photo. -[Leonardo] Hang on.

-It's not a photo. -[Leonardo] Hang on, let me…

-[Miguel] What is it? -[Paco] Who are you calling?

[ringing tone]

Loly! Look who I'm hanging out with! [laughs]

What's going on? Why are you calling me at this time?

-Are you okay? -[Tony] Have you seen the news?

-Who are you with? -Loly. It's Francisco de Asís here.

You look great.

Can't say the same about you. What do you want?

[Tony] Wait till I tell you. You're gonna die.

I'm already dead looking at your dumb fucking faces.

What do you want?

So, we just found out that they have officially voted Tamara off of Survivors.

They kicked her out first. [laughs]

And that in a few hours, she'll fly into Barajas.

And we've come up with a plan to bring back the drama. Huh?

Look, ages ago when it all went down,

I told you I want absolutely nothing to do with any of this crap.

Why not, Loly?! Come on. The freaking stars have aligned for us!

Yeah, but see, your fucking stars have consistently fucked me in the ass.

Okay? The stars, Tamara, and you assholes, who are a bunch of petty lowlifes.

But…

Well, it's her loss. Am I right?

[Leonardo] Oh, fuck. There he goes. Get it all out.

-[electronic music playing] -[Tony coughing]

-[Leonardo] Jesus Christ, Tony. -[Tony retches]

[Leonardo] Disgusting.

What's up with Loly? She married a millionaire, didn't she?

[Tony] No. She… She's got some inheritance. I don't know.

[Paco] Damn. The bitch hit the damn jackpot in life.

[Tony] Why'd you move to the side? You kept moving to the side on the…

You kept moving out of the shot the whole time.

Didn't you want her to see you on the call?

[Miguel] Well, things, uh… things didn't end well between us.

Didn't end well? How? Since you crashed into Cibeles?

-That was all a big setup. -[Miguel] Yeah.

-[Leonardo] That was ages ago now. -Paco, Paco. Paco, look at where we are.

This is… This is… This is the real heart of Madrid.

[man] Babe, come on.

[Tony] This is the soul of Spain! Beautiful.

-[woman] Cheese! -I look deformed. It's so weird. Look.

-[Paco] Shut up, Leo. -[Leonardo] Look it up.

-[Paco] Shut up, Leonardo. -[Miguel] All the streets are the same.

[Leonardo] This one's got something special about it because…

No, no. Don't leave.

Did you know that this spot was in Luces de Bohemia, huh?

-[man] This one? -The most important Spanish play.

Yeah. Bet you didn't know.

These mirrors inspired Ramón María del Valle-Inclán himself

to create his theory of esperpento.

-Right, Paco? -Yeah.

-Ah? -[Paco] That's right.

[Tony] I recommend you read it.

If you've come here, it's because you wanna see Spain.

Not to shop at Corte Inglés or Warner Bros., right?

Read Luces de Bohemia, dammit. Of course, record me, record me.

-Attention, esteemed friends and foes! -Enough, Tony.

If European tragedy was never successful in our country of Spain,

as Valle-Inclán used to say,

it's because in Spain, unlike France and Germany…

-And Austria. -And Austria!

…people have never been interested in work and effort. Nah.

The only thing anyone's interested in here is mugging and being scoundrels.

-[Leonardo] That's true. -Where you going? No.

-You're gonna piss off the neighbors. -Don't leave! Hey!

Be wary of where your path takes you because Spain is crumbling!

-[Paco] Don't do that, ever. -[Leonardo] Good God.

What's wrong?

My blood it aches as… as… as it flows through my artistic veins!

-Goddamn tourists! -[Miguel] Tony.

-[Leonardo] People are sleeping. -Why don't we go to the Clearance?

Come on. I'm down. I'm down. Great idea. Let's go, like… like old times. Remember?

And we'll make it hip again. Right, Miguelito?

No. Count me out. I'm not going with this stuff and all.

Plus, we're filthy.

Seriously, Leonardo, you've always been such a party pooper, darling.

[Leonardo] No, listen. I've gotta take the bus now. I can't…

Hey, Paco, how did it end? The theory of the esperpento?

"Spain is a gruesome distortion of European civilization."

[tune from "España, Cuánto Te Quiero" plays]

No, Rosa Benito and I never had a fight.

We just wanted to put a bit of life into it because it was so dead.

The beach was so dead.

So we'd get in front of the cameras and pretend we were fighting.

You told me stories about Rosa Benito that…

-I haven't told you anything, Paco. -[Miguel] Excuse me.

Guys, guys, guys. They said that we have to wait in line.

Who's the bouncer?

-[Miguel] I don't know! It's some girl. -Luisito?

We're not trying to cut the line.

-Excuse me. Just a moment. -[Miguel] Guesemen.

Excuse us. We're not trying to cut in. I know the owner. Sorry.

-Hello. -[woman 1] No.

I already said that if you're not on the list, you need to queue.

What list? What is this? Tell Luisito to come out.

-There's no Luisito here. -What?

-There's no Luisito. -What do you mean? Call him, please.

What is this? Do you even know who I am? I'm Tony Genil, okay?

Singer of one of the most important songs of 1975, "España, Cuánto Te Quiero,"

which I later rerecorded for the World Cup of '82.

Do you remember the Naranjito mascot?

-Seriously, girl. I can't even. I'm dying. -Well, then you're gonna die even more.

Because at the age of 50, I made it big again, okay?

It was raining money. I was rolling in it.

We were all on the TV shows. Weren't we? Weren't we?

[Miguel] Everything he's saying is true. This is Paco Porras.

Do you even know what we have meant to this country? Huh?

-A whole lot. -[Tony] Tell them.

[woman 1] Hey, enough!

You're really not coming in after the scene you've caused.

You think this is a scene?

Arlekin, show her a magic trick. You'll see what a real scene is.

Show her a magic trick. Come on. Go. Ta-da!

I'd like you, if you will, I'd like you to look at this paper, here it goes…

[woman 2] Girl, what the actual fuck? This is so bizarre.

-[woman 3] Seriously. -[Tony] Take it. [laughing]

[nostalgic music playing]

[Tony] It keeps coming out. Look, it's coming out of his belly.

It's coming out of his belly.

-[laughs] Bravo! Bravo! Bravísimo! -[woman 1] Fernando, get over here.

[Paco] Fernando, come out and wipe your ass with this paper.

[Tony] Fernando, his balls are commando!

-Hey, man! Easy! Relax! -[Paco] Easy, easy.

-[Tony] Chill out, man. Chill out. -[Miguel chuckles]

-My goodness, man. -[Miguel laughs]

-[wolves howling] -[ominous buzzing]

[presenter] What a performance! Let's hear it for Tony Genil!

[Tony] Thank you!

[audience cheering and clapping]

-[Tony] Thank you! -[presenter] Olé!

[audience continue cheering, clapping]

[Paco retches, vomits]

[continues retching]

[panting]

[laughs] What's wrong, darling?

-Too much for you, huh? -No, I'm just dizzy.

-[clears throat] -Uh, anyway, they don't have any eggs.

The Chinese guy said we should throw poop at Tamara.

Says if we wait 30 minutes, he'll… he'll sell us some. [chuckles]

-[Paco laughs] -Half a kilo.

[Paco] I'm sure you've got plenty of shit back home. Right? Tony?

[Tony] Poop is perfect.

Our own poo that we pooed, guys.

It's too late for me

because I took two dumps a while ago at Valle-Inclán's.

And, uh… where should we shit, man?

In Tupperware.

I've got some, uh… I've got a few at home.

-[lock clicks] -[electronic music playing]

[Miguel] What kind of haunted hallway is this? It's like a maze.

It used to be a hostel.

I got rid of that wall and… and opened the area.

[Paco] He's probably kidnapped some pimp and got him peeling potatoes.

-Yeah, he wishes. -[shushes] Shut your mouths. Listen.

I want the two of you to promise something.

-[unsettling music playing] -It's a secret.

-[Paco] What secret? -A secret I have kept for a long time.

But you have to promise me that it will stay a secret.

If you want it to stay a secret, you shouldn't tell this lady over here.

-Quiet. -Why not? No one believes me.

-He's in here. -[Paco] Open it.

[Tony] You're gonna meet him.

Honestly, I feel sorry for him.

Confined in here all day. All cooped up. No sun. But that's what he wants.

And if that's what he wants, who is Tony Genil to say no…

[chair squeaks]

…to the King of Pop?

[music fades out]

Hey, don't worry. It's okay. They're my friends.

They're… They're friends of mine, okay?

Yeah, but…

[Tony] Look, that one there is Paco Porras, okay?

-[Michael] Hmm. -The other one next to him is Miguel.

Just like you. Like you, Miguel. But we call him "Arlekin."

Ah. Harlequin?

-Arlequeen, arlequeen. Do you like it? -Yeah.

[Tony] A harlequin is like a…

-How can I explain? Like a clown. -[Michael] Mm-hmm.

[Tony] But who is always a little bit sad.

-Hmm. -Like you.

So sad.

All right, go on. Leave the pasta and get up, man. Get up, go on.

Hi.

I'm Michael Jackson.

Nice to meet you.

Umm. Sorry, I'm really very shy.

Umm.

-Pleasure to see you, Tony's friends. -Friends.

It's… Mi… Mi… Mi… Michael Jackson?

-[Tony] Michael Jackson. -Yeah…

That's Michael Jackson and I'm "Purple Rain."

-[Paco] How can that be Michael Jackson? -This is Michael Jackson.

-His face has paint on it. -Fuck's sake. This is Michael Jackson.

-[Paco] He's not. Can't you see? -It is.

It's obviously not Michael Jackson.

["Streamline (Lips Version)" by Newton playing]

♪ Go baby, go baby, go baby! ♪

[music continues]

[music continues]

[Tony] As long as I give him his bowl of pasta every single day…

-[Michael] My God! -…he's totally content. Isn't that right?

-Don't be a motherfucker, Tony. -It's true.

You know, he's really very talented. The fucker's good.

And you know, I'm being exploited.

Every day, I give him his pasta bowl. I mean, the nerve. Huh?

-Yes, darling. -You hear that? He called me "darling."

When he calls me "darling," it means he's happy.

[Paco] I can tell he's happy.

-Look how happy he is. -[Tony] You're a happy guy, right?

And what did you do tonight, Tony?

We should tell him what we're doing.

-Do you… -[Paco] Up to no good.

[Tony] He'll get it. From spending time together,

we just understand each other.

I understand him, and he totally understands me.

-Right, buddy? -Of course, darling.

Hey, he called me "darling" again!

[Miguel] Tony, man, I wanna apologize for,

uh… all those years I called you a liar for the pasta story.

Huh, huh?

What happened? He call you up, or who put you in touch, or something?

Look, it was the simplest thing in the world.

He's like that. Normal.

Came knocking on my door, I opened, and he told me to my face

that he'd faked his death to the world,

well, because he was sick of the life,

and he said he wanted to revisit the places where he felt joy.

And apparently, one of the places he'd felt the most joy

was at my house that afternoon eating pasta.

Am I messing it up or am I telling it right?

-Yeah, darling. -Come here, I could just eat you up.

You're so cute. You've got all this white powder all over.

Hey, so what if… what… what if, uh… we ask him to come with us to the airport?

No, no, no, no, no, no. No. Michael… Michael hasn't set foot outside this place

since he first arrived, and he's not gonna do it today.

[Miguel] But wouldn't it be incredible to turn up at the airport

with Michael Jackson?

[Tony, muffled] No, dammit! Michael Jackson is not going to Barajas.

[muffled] Don't tell me it wouldn't be incredible to show up…

[muffled] No! He won't set foot on the street!

[muffled] He won't leave. Michael Jackson…

[Miguel] Michael, listen, honey,

would you come with us to the airport to throw poo at Tamara?

[Tony] Could you shut the fuck up?

You lie more than you shit, and you've got diarrhea.

-Shut your mouth! -[Miguel] Well…

-Isn't that what we're doing? -Do me a favor and shut your mouth.

You? You ever throw shit at someone?

-Shit? -That's what we're gonna throw at Tamara.

Shit. A big pile. For being a hoe bag and a monster.

[Miguel] We've got the exclusive.

-Tamara? -[Paco] Yes, sir.

-Yurena? -[Paco] Tamara Yurena.

Evil Tamara. She's the worst.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Tony, what the fuck are you talking about? Fuck you!

[Michael] What the…? But she's…

-[Miguel] He's upset. -[Michael] No… Fucking…

-You… Fuck this shit! -See? Now he's angry!

Michael! Michael Jackson!

Michael!

Michael Jackson!

[muffled electronic music playing]

What's wrong, Michael?

Don't you like my friends?

It's not that.

-[electronic music playing] -So…

You think these are fine to put our shit in, or… or not?

Hey, where… where's, uh… Leonardo? I haven't seen him for a while.

Jesus, focus, Miguel. That's enough. Tony's housing some Catalan weirdo.

He's freeloading 'cause of this Michael Jackson nonsense.

You think it's funny that he's scamming a senile old man?

I won't stand for it. I won't.

-It's Michael Jackson. -How's that Michael Jackson?

Don't be a fucking idiot, Miguel. He's a fraud. Looks more like Serrat.

-[muffled electronic music playing] -[sighs]

Are you sure, Tony?

Really?

Listen to me.

Everybody does things that are bad, you know?

Look at me.

Everybody knows

I'm not innocent.

[pensive music playing]

Hmm?

Everybody knows I robbed the song "Thriller."

I stole from Luixy Toledo.

And I never begged for forgiveness.

I am so sorry, Luixy.

I am so sorry.

And do you know why?

To say "I am sorry," you need…

bravery and humility.

I only have arrogance

and… tons of fear.

I'm scared, Tony.

Why do you think I am here?

Back from the dead.

Eating bowls of pasta in your house.

I just… don't understand.

I don't understand where this has come from, Michael. Why?

Because Tamara…

She needs

an apology.

Not a turd thrown on her face, Tony.

You know?

["Exorcismo" by Luixy Toledo playing]

[light buzzing]

PARADAI'S GUEST HOUSE

[wolves howling]

["Exorcismo" continues playing]

[airplane landing]

[indistinct announcement over PA system]

[music fades out, echoing]

[sniffs loudly, echoing]

[silence]

Shouldn't this be bursting with paparazzi?

[Miguel] Tony.

Tony!

Are you sure the flight arrives today?

[Paco] What time is it?

[Miguel] It's ten.

It can't be ten because it's still dark outside. That's impossible.

Well, I'm seeing the same on all of them.

[unsettling music playing]

Hey, this one says ten as well.

[wolves howling]

It should've been daylight a couple of hours ago.

And the sky looks like a black hole. An infinite black hole.

What's happening?

Hmm, I don't know.

The plane should've, uh… already arrived, right?

[wolves howling]

No.

No one's arriving today.

[wolves stop howling]

[music fades out]

It's over.

We were given an opportunity.

And we dropped the ball.

What opportunity? What are you talking about?

[Tony] The opportunity to show this country

that we might be troublemakers,

but we can be honorable men as well.

[emotive music playing]

Capable of acting with… with generosity

and nobility.

But instead of embracing generosity,

we've embraced resentment.

[tune from "España, Cuánto Te Quiero" playing]

And if…

If we happened to run into each other by coincidence…

it hasn't been for us,

but for us to come here because… because… because the stars have aligned.

And because we had to come to the airport to throw some shit

and take revenge on Tamara.

If we happened to run into each other by coincidence…

[music stops, echoing]

…it was because we were meant to apologize to her.

But since that's something that we're not gonna do

even if they tied our testicles to the fender of a car

and hauled our bodies along the road…

we're stranded in here.

Yeah.

I think we are trapped in the eternal night.

[in Spanish] ♪ With my guitar And with my hat ♪

♪ I roam the world, singing of Spain ♪

[all] ♪ From my throat The notes rise up ♪

♪ Filled with the longing For party and sun ♪

♪ I see travelers heading to Spain ♪

♪ Tourists eager for a good time ♪

♪ In this land of sunshine and wine Which I can only dream of ♪

♪ Spain! Spain! ♪

[in English] Hello, my friends. I'm Luixy Toledo.

I have claimed this since the year 1985, friends.

And in the end, the international court said,

"Yes, the song is similar,

but Michael Jackson says that he doesn't know you."

These are letters from Michael Jackson's lawyers.

I, Luixy Toledo,

never tell a lie.

You should feel proud, because the real writer of the hit song

on the best-selling record in history is a Spaniard like you.

[tune from "España, Cuánto Te Quiero" playing]

[music ends]