Original subtitles

Come on in! Come on in! Come in! Grab the door!

Okay.

How are you?

I'm doing great. How about you?

I'm good! So happy to see you.

However, your mom is pissing me off.

She always does this.

Like, I feel like she just dumps you, trots off and goes and does whatever she wants to do.

And it really isn't fair for me or you.

But, that said, I love having you here.

I'm so thankful you're my step-grandson and thankful that my son adopted you, but...

God, your mom pisses me off.

Just fucking pisses me off that she does this shit.

You know? Do you ever get mad at your mom?

I can't really get upset at her because I don't see that side.

Really?

Most of the time she just leaves and just leaves me alone, lets me do whatever I want and I keep myself busy.

Keep yourself busy doing what? What in the world can you do?

Well, she did get me a Team Ski Porn subscription, so that does take up some time.

Of course she fucking does.

That is what I'm talking about! That's not even appropriate!

I mean, she needs to go do stuff with you.

It's like she's just here to have to go jack off and have a great day and all that.

And then she'll be back in two or three days. It's like, are you kidding me?

Okay, well that's why she just sort of dropped me off here.

Well, what kind of mom is that? Huh?

I mean, honestly, you know, when I grew up, my folks were always there.

And when I raised her stepdad, I was always there.

Always, always, always. Always.

Instead, she goes to Cancun, spends money on lord only knows what,

probably out fucking some other guy, all that shit.

I mean, really? I don't...

Oh, it just irritates me. I'm sorry. Sorry.

That's okay. This isn't new to me.

Well, yeah, I should be better about it. I really should.

Again, I'm happy to see you. I'm thankful you're here.

I wonder what we'll do today. We'll think of some fun stuff to do.

Yeah, we always have fun. We can watch movies and cartoons and stuff like that.

Yeah, that'd be good. Of course, I can cook us a nice lunch.

And, uh, after that, then...

I don't know, if the weather's nice, we'll go outside.

And after we go outside, we can always come back in and play a fun game.

You know? Yeah.

And I'll show you what a real grandma does, you know?

Be there for the kids, all that stuff.

Have you been doing anything fun with any friends lately or anything?

Um, mostly...

We all play video games inside the house. We haven't gone outside and done anything in a while,

because everything's been closed.

Well...

So...

But, like, the good old days. Like, we just made shit up. We went outside.

We got on our bikes. Everybody expected us to come home by dinner.

And the world, I mean, the world just went around and we entertained ourselves.

Not watching Teen Skeet porn.

For crying out loud? I can't even fathom.

Jeez-o. Like, do you do any reading? Is the books gone away? Just all iPads?

I mean, ugh. I don't get it.

Oh, I don't read my comics on my iPad and tablet.

Oh, comics. Oh my god, your comics. Your comics. Okay. Well, that's good.

I am glad you like your comics.

Can't your mom, like, give you some education? Like, get you into summer school? Is that gone, too?

Nobody does summer school? Oh, yeah, you're too old for that.

Oh, whatever. Let's see. Hmm. Well, you know what?

I definitely, definitely want to make us a lunch.

You kind of look like you need a shower, so how about you go take a shower, and I will get something for lunch for us.

Sounds great. And again, happy to see you. Love you. Go take a shower. Okay?

Okay.

Great.

Jenna?

Yeah. Yeah. This is Sloane. Hi.

Um, can you not even come up with, like, the decency to call me and say,

Hey, I'm thinking about taking this trip, and are you available for these next few days to keep David, and do you mind?

Really? Really? No. That's not part of being a grandma.

Yes, I don't mind, and I do like having him.

But you're so rude. Yeah. Very rude.

Very rude to just assume that I could drop everything I'm doing, and I don't ever do anything.

That's not true. How would you even know what I do? Really?

Okay. Well, if you're going to talk about morals and things like that, let's, let's,

why in the world would you give him a subscription to TeamSki porn?

Like, what is that? What is that teaching him?

Well, it passes his time? Better that he's home jacking off in his room than he's out fucking somebody?

Really?

Yeah.

You know, probably half the problem with the world these days is people like you.

That's your mindset, right?

Yeah. You just are just thinking he can just sit at home, jack off, while you go out and basically cheat on my son.

Yes. No, I'm not stupid. He spent his money, he's always working, and...

Right.

Right. Right. You love him very much. Yeah.

I don't think that's the case.

Yeah. I really, really, really would like to have you in this room right now, because I will tell you exactly what I think.

Yes, I do. You're a shitty mom.

Yeah. Yeah. You have a good kid. David's actually a really, really good kid. He just needs a little guidance. A little push.

You know, get him involved in something besides me.

Get him involved in something besides frickin' videos.

Yeah. And take time. Like, why don't you take him on a trip with you? I mean, it's summer. What else could you do? Like, take him to Cancun with you.

I don't need that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Right. You care about him, and you love him, and it breaks your heart when you're not there with him. I don't believe a piece of that.

I feel like you had him, and you're just thrown into the wind.

Of course. Of course. Absolutely. We're gonna do something fun. I'm gonna make him some lunch. He's taking a shower right now.

I don't know. We're gonna watch a movie. Maybe go for a hike or a walk later on. Something.

Yeah. Just to help him, like, realize there's more to life.

Yeah. Well, I would prefer next time that you actually call and ask my permission.

Instead of taking the assumption that you can just drop him off, and I have nothing to do, and I've got food in the house. I don't even really have that many groceries.

Like, the things I need to do to be a good grandma.

Yeah.

I don't think we need to go there on who's a better parent. Right now, you're not a parent at all. You're an absent parent.

Yeah. I think that's the case. Definitely. Yeah. I do.

I think that...

Is...

Uh, what? What were you saying?

Right. Yeah. No... I think I just know where I'm gonna have lunch. I gotta go.

Look at you!

You have really matured.

You have matured into a really, really good-looking young man.

Oh! Thanks, Nana.

Yeah. Your mom did something right.

Well, what...

Look at that hair. Oh.

What do you think?

Let me taste.

You like that?

That better?

That's better than the porn shoot that you watch?

Oh, yeah.

I like that.

Come on.

You want me to do that again?

Yeah.

You want me to do that again?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck that.

Oh, fuck that.

Oh, fuck.

Stop, please.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

That was awesome.

How was your lunch?

Mine was great.

Oh, my ...

That was ...

That was ...

Oh, I'm leaving.

Hot!

Yeah! I love that!