All language subtitles for S01E10 - Whatd I Eat [HDTV-1080p x265 AAC].en.sdh
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (Soranî)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,421 --> 00:00:08,620
Narrator: Coming up, the guys
2
00:00:08,621 --> 00:00:10,320
force Murray to take his licks.
3
00:00:10,321 --> 00:00:11,121
[ Laughter ]
4
00:00:11,121 --> 00:00:11,688
Ohh!
5
00:00:11,689 --> 00:00:12,787
Narrator: Sal gets too close
6
00:00:12,788 --> 00:00:13,288
for comfort.
7
00:00:13,288 --> 00:00:14,254
We're both in this bed.
8
00:00:14,254 --> 00:00:15,254
Look how much room is still
9
00:00:15,254 --> 00:00:15,554
left.
10
00:00:15,554 --> 00:00:16,388
Both: Pat him down.
11
00:00:16,388 --> 00:00:16,988
Pat him down.
12
00:00:16,989 --> 00:00:18,053
Narrator: And Joe puts his
13
00:00:18,054 --> 00:00:19,187
hands where they don't belong.
14
00:00:19,188 --> 00:00:20,320
You got some kind of an I.D.
15
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:20,921
Or something?
16
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:21,888
Narrator: Plus, tonight's big
17
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:24,353
loser gets a nose full of nasty.
18
00:00:24,354 --> 00:00:26,354
[ Laughter ]
19
00:00:31,154 --> 00:00:32,453
We're here at Ikea in the
20
00:00:32,454 --> 00:00:33,720
bedding department, and we are
21
00:00:33,721 --> 00:00:35,187
going to be wearing an earpiece,
22
00:00:35,188 --> 00:00:36,387
and we have to do what each
23
00:00:36,388 --> 00:00:37,321
other tell us to do.
24
00:00:37,322 --> 00:00:38,687
If you don't do what we tell
25
00:00:38,688 --> 00:00:39,621
you to do, you lose.
26
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,587
You lose. This is fun.
27
00:00:41,588 --> 00:00:43,288
[ Laughs ]
28
00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:47,388
All right. Get ready for next.
29
00:00:47,421 --> 00:00:48,687
All right, murr, sell some
30
00:00:48,688 --> 00:00:49,221
furniture.
31
00:00:49,222 --> 00:00:50,253
Crawl under that bed.
32
00:00:50,254 --> 00:00:52,887
Get under that bed behind you.
33
00:00:52,888 --> 00:00:53,521
Oh, here comes somebody.
34
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,121
Here comes somebody.
35
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,587
Scare this guy in the blue.
36
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:56,088
Rawr!
37
00:00:56,088 --> 00:00:56,554
Whoa!
38
00:00:56,555 --> 00:00:58,787
[ Laughter ]
39
00:00:58,788 --> 00:01:00,020
What are you looking for?
40
00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:00,854
Queen or full.
41
00:01:00,855 --> 00:01:01,887
Queen or full. Okay.
42
00:01:01,888 --> 00:01:03,120
So, have a seat in this one.
43
00:01:03,121 --> 00:01:04,553
Hop in! Jump in!
44
00:01:04,554 --> 00:01:05,021
Ahh!
45
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:05,688
[ Laughter ]
46
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:06,920
Let me show you this. Okay?
47
00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:08,353
So, this bed... the great thing
48
00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:09,121
about this is...
49
00:01:09,122 --> 00:01:10,220
great for back rubs.
50
00:01:10,221 --> 00:01:10,988
[ Chuckles ]
51
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:11,488
Okay?
52
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:12,620
So, it's great for back rubs...
53
00:01:12,621 --> 00:01:13,521
This bed in particular.
54
00:01:13,521 --> 00:01:14,054
Show her.
55
00:01:14,055 --> 00:01:15,153
So, for example, if you have
56
00:01:15,154 --> 00:01:16,253
a gentleman over... lay down.
57
00:01:16,254 --> 00:01:16,854
I'll show you.
58
00:01:16,854 --> 00:01:17,388
[ Laughter ]
59
00:01:17,388 --> 00:01:17,988
I'll show you.
60
00:01:17,989 --> 00:01:19,087
And you have a gentleman over.
61
00:01:19,088 --> 00:01:19,954
He's straddling her!
62
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,153
And he just starts, you know.
63
00:01:21,154 --> 00:01:22,220
You see how much room you have
64
00:01:22,221 --> 00:01:22,988
here?
65
00:01:22,989 --> 00:01:24,153
Tammy, you got a knot there.
66
00:01:24,154 --> 00:01:24,688
What's that?
67
00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:25,621
Ohh! Got to love it!
68
00:01:25,621 --> 00:01:26,321
Get in bed.
69
00:01:26,321 --> 00:01:27,088
Cuddle up with her.
70
00:01:27,089 --> 00:01:28,787
Isn't this just so comfy?
71
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,353
[ Laughter ]
72
00:01:30,354 --> 00:01:31,487
Ask her if you can take a
73
00:01:31,488 --> 00:01:32,720
picture of her in bed to send to
74
00:01:32,721 --> 00:01:33,488
your ex-girlfriend.
75
00:01:33,489 --> 00:01:34,520
I have a favor to ask.
76
00:01:34,521 --> 00:01:35,553
I've got an ex-girlfriend.
77
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,753
I want to send her a picture to
78
00:01:36,754 --> 00:01:37,321
get jealous.
79
00:01:37,322 --> 00:01:38,420
Can you take a photo of us?
80
00:01:38,421 --> 00:01:39,653
[ Laughter ]
81
00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:42,021
Just come here.
82
00:01:42,054 --> 00:01:44,287
[ Ding! ]
83
00:01:44,288 --> 00:01:45,188
All right, sal.
84
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,653
Sal's about to go in, and we
85
00:01:46,654 --> 00:01:48,087
have planted a few props around
86
00:01:48,088 --> 00:01:49,520
the bedding department that he
87
00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:50,488
doesn't know about.
88
00:01:50,489 --> 00:01:51,687
We chose the worst photo.
89
00:01:51,688 --> 00:01:52,688
Photo we had.
90
00:01:52,688 --> 00:01:53,654
We went to the archives.
91
00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:54,588
Yeah, and we just...
92
00:01:54,589 --> 00:01:55,921
oh.
93
00:01:55,954 --> 00:01:58,087
[ Laughter ]
94
00:01:58,088 --> 00:01:58,854
I'm taking it down.
95
00:01:58,854 --> 00:01:59,821
You leave it up there.
96
00:01:59,822 --> 00:02:00,853
Sal, don't take it down!
97
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,587
You're employee of the month!
98
00:02:02,588 --> 00:02:04,553
[ Sighs ]
99
00:02:04,554 --> 00:02:06,520
[ Laughter ]
100
00:02:06,521 --> 00:02:07,687
Take the comforter off
101
00:02:07,688 --> 00:02:08,221
entirely.
102
00:02:08,222 --> 00:02:09,353
Show her.
103
00:02:09,354 --> 00:02:10,487
[ Laughing ] Take it all the
104
00:02:10,488 --> 00:02:10,921
way off.
105
00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:11,721
[ Sighs ]
106
00:02:11,721 --> 00:02:12,554
[ Laughter ]
107
00:02:12,554 --> 00:02:13,188
Take it off!
108
00:02:13,188 --> 00:02:14,188
[ Chuckles ]
109
00:02:14,189 --> 00:02:15,320
Yeah, it's me.
110
00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:16,353
[ Laughter ]
111
00:02:16,354 --> 00:02:17,820
You have size for the full
112
00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:19,587
mattress, or did you measure out
113
00:02:19,588 --> 00:02:20,588
including frame?
114
00:02:20,589 --> 00:02:21,987
Spoon him. Sal, spoon him!
115
00:02:21,988 --> 00:02:22,721
[ Sighs ]
116
00:02:22,721 --> 00:02:23,454
[ Laughter ]
117
00:02:23,454 --> 00:02:24,254
You spoon with him!
118
00:02:24,255 --> 00:02:25,687
Put your feet up.
119
00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,087
If I was in... like, if we were
120
00:02:27,088 --> 00:02:27,588
in the...
121
00:02:27,588 --> 00:02:28,288
All right.
122
00:02:28,288 --> 00:02:28,888
[ Laughter ]
123
00:02:28,888 --> 00:02:29,421
Okay.
124
00:02:29,421 --> 00:02:30,121
And...
125
00:02:30,121 --> 00:02:31,054
[ Laughter ]
126
00:02:31,055 --> 00:02:32,253
This is, like... look. Now look.
127
00:02:32,254 --> 00:02:33,121
We're both in this bed.
128
00:02:33,121 --> 00:02:34,121
Look how much room is still
129
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:34,488
left.
130
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:36,020
[ Laughter, clapping ]
131
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:37,087
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
132
00:02:37,088 --> 00:02:38,187
All right.
133
00:02:38,188 --> 00:02:39,220
Plenty of room for two
134
00:02:39,221 --> 00:02:39,654
people.
135
00:02:39,655 --> 00:02:42,987
Fall asleep on him, sal!
136
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:45,321
[ Laughter ]
137
00:02:45,354 --> 00:02:47,053
[ Laughter, clapping ]
138
00:02:47,054 --> 00:02:48,021
Hey, how you doing?
139
00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:48,454
Hi.
140
00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:50,753
Can I help you guys?
141
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,553
Oh, the mid-beam is underneath
142
00:02:52,554 --> 00:02:54,753
for support.
143
00:02:54,754 --> 00:02:55,887
"But if you're gonna bone on
144
00:02:55,888 --> 00:02:56,188
it..."
145
00:02:56,188 --> 00:02:57,188
You know, if you... if you
146
00:02:57,189 --> 00:02:58,353
have... have, uh... you know, if
147
00:02:58,354 --> 00:02:59,088
you, uh...
148
00:02:59,089 --> 00:03:00,787
Uh, if, you know, if you have,
149
00:03:00,788 --> 00:03:01,920
uh, you know, uh...
150
00:03:01,921 --> 00:03:03,253
[ Chuckles nervously ]
151
00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:03,854
[ Buzzer ]
152
00:03:03,888 --> 00:03:07,320
[ Laughter ]
153
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,288
Need help, sir?
154
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,720
Put the sheet over his head
155
00:03:09,721 --> 00:03:11,153
and make him act like a ghost.
156
00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,353
And do ghost sounds!
157
00:03:12,354 --> 00:03:14,520
Ready? Watch this.
158
00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:15,421
[ Laughter ]
159
00:03:15,422 --> 00:03:17,553
Wooooooooooooo!
160
00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:18,288
Woooooooooooooooooooo!
161
00:03:18,289 --> 00:03:20,820
[ Laughter ]
162
00:03:20,821 --> 00:03:21,421
[ Chuckles ]
163
00:03:21,421 --> 00:03:22,254
Woooooooooooooooooooo!
164
00:03:22,255 --> 00:03:25,353
[ Laughter ]
165
00:03:25,354 --> 00:03:26,221
Watch.
166
00:03:26,222 --> 00:03:27,320
All: Ohh!
167
00:03:27,321 --> 00:03:28,387
[ Applause ]
168
00:03:28,388 --> 00:03:30,187
[ Laughter ]
169
00:03:30,188 --> 00:03:32,753
Woooooooooooooooooooo!
170
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,520
[ Laughs ]
171
00:03:34,521 --> 00:03:35,787
Q, put another one on
172
00:03:35,788 --> 00:03:36,254
yourself!
173
00:03:36,254 --> 00:03:37,088
Walk around the store.
174
00:03:37,088 --> 00:03:37,788
Go scare people.
175
00:03:37,788 --> 00:03:38,754
Put in on! Put it on!
176
00:03:38,754 --> 00:03:39,621
Follow me! Follow me!
177
00:03:39,621 --> 00:03:40,421
Go scare people!
178
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,121
Wooooooooooooo!
179
00:03:41,122 --> 00:03:42,320
He's doing it! He's doing it!
180
00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:43,353
Keep going! He's doing it!
181
00:03:43,354 --> 00:03:44,887
He's following you!
182
00:03:44,888 --> 00:03:45,987
Woooooooooooooooooooo!
183
00:03:45,988 --> 00:03:46,654
[ Laughter ]
184
00:03:46,654 --> 00:03:47,554
Wooooooooooooo!
185
00:03:47,555 --> 00:03:49,220
[ Laughter ]
186
00:03:49,221 --> 00:03:49,821
Hey, q.
187
00:03:49,821 --> 00:03:50,354
Yeah?
188
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,587
Walk over to that bed.
189
00:03:51,588 --> 00:03:52,254
Open the drawer.
190
00:03:52,254 --> 00:03:53,054
[ Chuckles lightly ]
191
00:03:53,054 --> 00:03:53,988
Why don't you take out that
192
00:03:53,989 --> 00:03:55,953
monkey and just get dressed in
193
00:03:55,954 --> 00:03:57,387
those pajamas, okay?
194
00:03:57,388 --> 00:03:58,687
This is what we did?
195
00:03:58,688 --> 00:03:59,554
[ Laughter ]
196
00:03:59,555 --> 00:04:00,620
Who's responsible for this?
197
00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:01,787
You know that picture you
198
00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:02,987
picked out of me for "employee
199
00:04:02,988 --> 00:04:03,621
of the month"?
200
00:04:03,621 --> 00:04:04,054
Yeah?
201
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:05,220
How you doing?
202
00:04:05,221 --> 00:04:06,787
Walk around the whole area
203
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,053
sucking your thumb.
204
00:04:08,054 --> 00:04:09,287
[ All chuckling ]
205
00:04:09,288 --> 00:04:11,120
Rub your eyes like you're
206
00:04:11,121 --> 00:04:12,088
sleepy.
207
00:04:12,089 --> 00:04:13,420
[ Laughter ]
208
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,920
Rub your eye, you sleepy monkey!
209
00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:17,653
Ask him to tuck you in.
210
00:04:17,654 --> 00:04:19,688
Tuck me in?
211
00:04:21,788 --> 00:04:22,820
Go ahead. Tuck me in.
212
00:04:22,821 --> 00:04:23,488
Hold that.
213
00:04:23,488 --> 00:04:24,188
Get in.
214
00:04:24,189 --> 00:04:25,987
That's it.
215
00:04:25,988 --> 00:04:27,720
Could you tuck me in?
216
00:04:27,721 --> 00:04:28,421
[ Laughs ]
217
00:04:28,422 --> 00:04:29,820
Ask him to read you a story.
218
00:04:29,821 --> 00:04:31,087
Sid, sid! I need a story!
219
00:04:31,088 --> 00:04:32,487
[ Record scratches ]
220
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:33,520
Yay! Story!
221
00:04:33,521 --> 00:04:35,287
[ Lullaby music plays ]
222
00:04:35,288 --> 00:04:39,120
Yeah? Three bears?
223
00:04:39,121 --> 00:04:41,220
[ Laughter ]
224
00:04:41,221 --> 00:04:42,221
Yeah!
225
00:04:42,221 --> 00:04:43,088
Cuddle up to him!
226
00:04:43,088 --> 00:04:44,088
Yeah, cuddle up to him!
227
00:04:44,089 --> 00:04:45,420
Cuddle up to him!
228
00:04:45,421 --> 00:04:47,153
[ Laughing ]
229
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,820
[ Laughter ]
230
00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:49,821
All right, what do you want
231
00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:50,221
to know?
232
00:04:50,221 --> 00:04:51,088
I mean, that'd be good,
233
00:04:51,088 --> 00:04:51,388
but...
234
00:04:51,388 --> 00:04:52,321
This guy still thinks he
235
00:04:52,321 --> 00:04:52,788
works here.
236
00:04:52,788 --> 00:04:53,521
It is unbelievable.
237
00:04:53,522 --> 00:04:55,020
He was just laying in bed with
238
00:04:55,021 --> 00:04:55,421
him!
239
00:04:55,422 --> 00:04:56,753
He's got a monkey on his head,
240
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:57,588
he's in pajamas!
241
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,953
The guy's like, "does this slot
242
00:04:58,954 --> 00:05:00,353
come in [bleep] birch veneer?"
243
00:05:00,354 --> 00:05:01,021
[ Laughter ]
244
00:05:01,022 --> 00:05:02,353
[ Laughing ] This comes in
245
00:05:02,354 --> 00:05:02,788
birch.
246
00:05:02,789 --> 00:05:05,587
[ Ding! ]
247
00:05:05,588 --> 00:05:06,887
Joe, get in the bed.
248
00:05:06,888 --> 00:05:08,953
Get completely under the covers.
249
00:05:08,954 --> 00:05:10,020
Hey, guys, you need any help,
250
00:05:10,021 --> 00:05:10,388
or...?
251
00:05:10,388 --> 00:05:11,121
Nope, we're good.
252
00:05:11,122 --> 00:05:13,920
You're just looking around?
253
00:05:13,921 --> 00:05:15,120
You guys need help?
254
00:05:15,121 --> 00:05:15,988
[ Laughter ]
255
00:05:15,989 --> 00:05:17,887
You guys need help? You okay?
256
00:05:17,888 --> 00:05:18,854
[ Laughter ]
257
00:05:18,854 --> 00:05:19,821
You're finding everything all
258
00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:20,121
right?
259
00:05:20,122 --> 00:05:23,053
[ Laughter ]
260
00:05:23,054 --> 00:05:24,353
Let's have a pillow fight.
261
00:05:24,354 --> 00:05:25,188
You can do it!
262
00:05:25,189 --> 00:05:26,953
Come on!
263
00:05:26,954 --> 00:05:29,153
Come on! Come on!
264
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,420
Damn it.
265
00:05:30,421 --> 00:05:31,354
Let's go, everybody.
266
00:05:31,354 --> 00:05:31,988
Here you go.
267
00:05:31,989 --> 00:05:33,220
We're gonna have a big pillow
268
00:05:33,221 --> 00:05:33,621
fight.
269
00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:34,388
Arm up. Let's go.
270
00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:35,587
Give everybody a pillow!
271
00:05:35,588 --> 00:05:37,087
Everybody, arm up.
272
00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:38,120
Let's go. Get ready.
273
00:05:38,121 --> 00:05:39,253
It's Ikea pillow fight.
274
00:05:39,254 --> 00:05:40,687
Friday night Ikea pillow fight.
275
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:41,688
Let's do this dance!
276
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:42,887
Three, two, one...
277
00:05:42,888 --> 00:05:44,587
[ Screaming ] Do it! Do it!
278
00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:45,154
Do it!
279
00:05:45,155 --> 00:05:46,853
Look what we got happening!
280
00:05:46,854 --> 00:05:49,053
[ Screaming ]
281
00:05:49,054 --> 00:05:50,453
Get everyone!
282
00:05:50,454 --> 00:05:52,454
[ Laughter ]
283
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,654
[ Ding! ]
284
00:05:56,688 --> 00:05:57,987
I can't believe that you
285
00:05:57,988 --> 00:05:59,588
couldn't say "bone."
286
00:05:59,621 --> 00:06:00,753
I'm not gonna say "bone" to a
287
00:06:00,754 --> 00:06:01,488
sweet, pretty girl.
288
00:06:01,489 --> 00:06:02,587
Narrator: Sal couldn't close
289
00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:03,021
the deal.
290
00:06:03,022 --> 00:06:05,753
Now he's on the loser board.
291
00:06:05,754 --> 00:06:06,920
I always feel very
292
00:06:06,921 --> 00:06:08,520
accomplished when I assemble my
293
00:06:08,521 --> 00:06:09,054
furniture.
294
00:06:09,054 --> 00:06:09,554
Yeah.
295
00:06:09,555 --> 00:06:10,787
I'm not handy otherwise at
296
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:11,121
all.
297
00:06:11,122 --> 00:06:12,320
My dad actually hangs all my
298
00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:13,653
photos and pictures in my house.
299
00:06:13,654 --> 00:06:14,953
So, when you get a new one,
300
00:06:14,954 --> 00:06:15,588
you call him?
301
00:06:15,589 --> 00:06:16,620
He must be so proud!
302
00:06:16,621 --> 00:06:19,387
[ Laughter ]
303
00:06:19,388 --> 00:06:20,254
We're down at the beach
304
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:21,054
taking turns as official
305
00:06:21,054 --> 00:06:21,588
greeters for the
306
00:06:21,588 --> 00:06:22,588
boardwalk welcoming committee.
307
00:06:22,588 --> 00:06:23,554
We're gonna be saying things
308
00:06:23,554 --> 00:06:24,488
that are pretty unwelcoming,
309
00:06:24,488 --> 00:06:25,421
though, because we're telling
310
00:06:25,422 --> 00:06:27,420
each other what to say and do.
311
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,587
All right, the challenge is
312
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:29,488
to do what you're told.
313
00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:30,454
And, of course, if you
314
00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:31,188
refuse, you lose.
315
00:06:31,189 --> 00:06:34,920
[ Buzzer ]
316
00:06:34,921 --> 00:06:35,987
I'm feeling friendly today,
317
00:06:35,988 --> 00:06:36,288
guys.
318
00:06:36,288 --> 00:06:37,021
I got to be honest.
319
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:37,821
Oh, are you friendly?
320
00:06:37,821 --> 00:06:38,454
I don't trust it.
321
00:06:38,454 --> 00:06:39,388
Is it the weather?
322
00:06:39,389 --> 00:06:40,587
You gonna enjoy the beach
323
00:06:40,588 --> 00:06:40,954
today?
324
00:06:40,954 --> 00:06:41,721
Probably not.
325
00:06:41,721 --> 00:06:42,621
Okay, well, if you do...
326
00:06:42,621 --> 00:06:43,288
"Keep an eye out.
327
00:06:43,288 --> 00:06:44,221
You'll see a lot of what the
328
00:06:44,221 --> 00:06:44,754
locals call..."
329
00:06:44,754 --> 00:06:45,754
You'll see a lot of what the
330
00:06:45,754 --> 00:06:46,621
locals call...
331
00:06:46,621 --> 00:06:47,521
"Boobies."
332
00:06:47,522 --> 00:06:49,253
[ Chuckling ] And... and...
333
00:06:49,254 --> 00:06:49,754
Boobies.
334
00:06:49,755 --> 00:06:50,920
A lot of boobies out there
335
00:06:50,921 --> 00:06:53,153
today.
336
00:06:53,154 --> 00:06:54,253
Okay, well, I didn't want to say
337
00:06:54,254 --> 00:06:55,021
anything, but you're
338
00:06:55,022 --> 00:06:56,120
well-equipped.
339
00:06:56,121 --> 00:06:58,120
[ Laughing ] Enjoy the beach.
340
00:06:58,121 --> 00:06:58,554
Hey, guys!
341
00:06:58,554 --> 00:06:59,288
Hi. How are you?
342
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,154
I'm from the welcoming
343
00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:01,121
committee on the boardwalk.
344
00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:02,187
Give one of them a piggyback
345
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:03,387
ride.
346
00:07:03,388 --> 00:07:04,820
[ Chuckling ] Okay.
347
00:07:04,821 --> 00:07:05,288
Okay.
348
00:07:05,289 --> 00:07:06,753
Here's what we're gonna do.
349
00:07:06,754 --> 00:07:08,453
One of you lucky ladies just won
350
00:07:08,454 --> 00:07:10,488
a piggyback ride.
351
00:07:13,254 --> 00:07:15,120
[ Laughter ]
352
00:07:15,121 --> 00:07:16,653
Run. Run as fast as you can.
353
00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:17,388
[ Gunshot ]
354
00:07:17,388 --> 00:07:18,154
[ Laughter ]
355
00:07:18,155 --> 00:07:19,187
[ "William tell overture"
356
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,887
[ plays ]
357
00:07:21,888 --> 00:07:22,654
Don't put her down!
358
00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:24,520
Don't put her down.
359
00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:26,554
[ Laughter ]
360
00:07:29,821 --> 00:07:31,753
[ Ding! ]
361
00:07:31,754 --> 00:07:32,787
Tell them there's a sunscreen
362
00:07:32,788 --> 00:07:33,321
warning today.
363
00:07:33,321 --> 00:07:34,321
There is a sunscreen warning
364
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,154
today, just so you know.
365
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:36,021
"Don't touch my [bleep]
366
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:36,621
Sunscreen."
367
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:37,687
I'm just warning you.
368
00:07:37,688 --> 00:07:38,688
Don't touch my [bleep]
369
00:07:38,688 --> 00:07:39,254
Sunscreen.
370
00:07:39,254 --> 00:07:39,988
[ Laughter ]
371
00:07:39,989 --> 00:07:41,787
[ Ding! ]
372
00:07:41,788 --> 00:07:43,020
Guys, how are you today?
373
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,420
Just checking everybody, saying
374
00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:44,854
hello.
375
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:45,887
Both: Pat him down.
376
00:07:45,888 --> 00:07:47,120
Pat him down. Pat him down.
377
00:07:47,121 --> 00:07:48,853
You mind doing a... security
378
00:07:48,854 --> 00:07:50,087
purposes... a quick pat-down?
379
00:07:50,088 --> 00:07:50,554
What?
380
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,254
A pat-down?
381
00:07:51,254 --> 00:07:52,154
A quick pat-down?
382
00:07:52,154 --> 00:07:52,621
Yeah.
383
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:55,387
Appreciate it.
384
00:07:55,388 --> 00:07:57,953
[ Laughter ]
385
00:07:57,954 --> 00:07:58,788
You know, we just increased
386
00:07:58,788 --> 00:07:59,754
security with everything that's
387
00:07:59,754 --> 00:08:00,754
going on around here today.
388
00:08:00,754 --> 00:08:01,321
Thanks, man.
389
00:08:01,321 --> 00:08:02,288
No, I'm with the welcoming
390
00:08:02,289 --> 00:08:05,520
committee.
391
00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:07,588
I'm ththe welcoming committee.
392
00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:10,321
Okay, that's fine.
393
00:08:10,321 --> 00:08:11,021
All: Ohh!
394
00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:12,153
You got to tighten the screws
395
00:08:12,154 --> 00:08:12,454
here.
396
00:08:12,455 --> 00:08:13,587
Go up to the guy sitting down
397
00:08:13,588 --> 00:08:14,554
and tell him to be careful.
398
00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:15,620
The sharks have been targeting
399
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:16,221
blacks lately.
400
00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:16,888
Come on, guys.
401
00:08:16,889 --> 00:08:17,920
You got to be [bleep] kidding
402
00:08:17,921 --> 00:08:18,421
me.
403
00:08:18,422 --> 00:08:19,520
[ Laughter ]
404
00:08:19,521 --> 00:08:20,953
[ "Jaws" theme plays ]
405
00:08:20,954 --> 00:08:21,888
Did you go in the water?
406
00:08:21,888 --> 00:08:22,288
Huh?
407
00:08:22,288 --> 00:08:23,254
Did you go in the water
408
00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:23,621
today?
409
00:08:23,621 --> 00:08:24,054
Yeah.
410
00:08:24,054 --> 00:08:24,788
Nice out there?
411
00:08:24,789 --> 00:08:25,887
Had to. Yeah, it was great.
412
00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:26,321
Yeah?
413
00:08:26,322 --> 00:08:27,420
There's no way he's gonna say
414
00:08:27,421 --> 00:08:27,721
this.
415
00:08:27,721 --> 00:08:28,521
I heard...
416
00:08:28,522 --> 00:08:29,953
I heard we had to be careful
417
00:08:29,954 --> 00:08:31,453
today because there was a... the
418
00:08:31,454 --> 00:08:32,553
sharks were out there.
419
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,154
Really?
420
00:08:33,154 --> 00:08:33,688
Yeah.
421
00:08:33,688 --> 00:08:34,221
Wow.
422
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:39,021
They were targeting...
423
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:43,420
Go up to the guy sitting down
424
00:08:43,421 --> 00:08:44,388
and tell him to be careful.
425
00:08:44,389 --> 00:08:45,453
The sharks have been targeting
426
00:08:45,454 --> 00:08:46,021
blacks lately.
427
00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:46,654
Come on, guys.
428
00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:47,687
You got to be [bleep] kidding
429
00:08:47,688 --> 00:08:48,221
me.
430
00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:50,720
[ Laughter ]
431
00:08:50,721 --> 00:08:51,654
Did you go in the water?
432
00:08:51,654 --> 00:08:52,054
Huh?
433
00:08:52,054 --> 00:08:53,054
Did you go in the water
434
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:53,421
today?
435
00:08:53,421 --> 00:08:53,854
Yeah.
436
00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:54,554
Ice out there?
437
00:08:54,555 --> 00:08:55,687
Had to. Yeah, it was great.
438
00:08:55,688 --> 00:08:56,121
Yeah?
439
00:08:56,122 --> 00:08:57,253
There's no way he's gonna say
440
00:08:57,254 --> 00:08:57,554
this.
441
00:08:57,554 --> 00:08:58,321
I heard...
442
00:08:58,322 --> 00:08:59,687
I heard we had to be careful
443
00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:01,220
today because there was a... the
444
00:09:01,221 --> 00:09:02,320
sharks were out there.
445
00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:02,954
Really?
446
00:09:02,954 --> 00:09:03,488
Yeah.
447
00:09:03,488 --> 00:09:03,988
Wow.
448
00:09:03,989 --> 00:09:06,720
They were targeting...
449
00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:07,421
No, no, no, no.
450
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:07,954
[ Buzzer ]
451
00:09:07,954 --> 00:09:08,388
Ohh!
452
00:09:08,389 --> 00:09:09,920
You suck, dude.
453
00:09:09,921 --> 00:09:11,420
Gorgeous day.
454
00:09:11,421 --> 00:09:12,421
Ask that guy if he wants you
455
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:13,421
to take a picture of the two of
456
00:09:13,421 --> 00:09:13,721
them.
457
00:09:13,722 --> 00:09:14,753
Would you guys like a picture
458
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:15,321
of both of you?
459
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:16,288
Murray, just take a picture
460
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:16,888
of their crotch.
461
00:09:16,888 --> 00:09:17,654
[ Laughing ] No way.
462
00:09:17,654 --> 00:09:18,288
He's not. No way.
463
00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:18,921
Take a picture.
464
00:09:18,921 --> 00:09:19,854
Okay, ready?
465
00:09:19,855 --> 00:09:22,520
One, two, three.
466
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:23,421
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
467
00:09:23,422 --> 00:09:25,653
[ Laughter ]
468
00:09:25,654 --> 00:09:26,121
One more?
469
00:09:26,122 --> 00:09:27,187
Now just take a picture of
470
00:09:27,188 --> 00:09:27,721
your crank.
471
00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:29,253
[ Laughing ]
472
00:09:29,254 --> 00:09:30,088
Ready?
473
00:09:30,088 --> 00:09:30,721
[ Laughing ] One...
474
00:09:30,721 --> 00:09:31,121
No way.
475
00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:31,754
Come on. Do it.
476
00:09:31,754 --> 00:09:32,488
Ready? One...
477
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:33,188
No, he isn't!
478
00:09:33,188 --> 00:09:33,954
Two, three.
479
00:09:33,954 --> 00:09:34,521
[ Laughter ]
480
00:09:34,522 --> 00:09:37,820
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
481
00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:38,554
That's a keeper.
482
00:09:38,554 --> 00:09:39,088
[ Laughter ]
483
00:09:39,089 --> 00:09:40,153
[ Ding! ]
484
00:09:40,154 --> 00:09:41,054
All right, big surprise on
485
00:09:41,055 --> 00:09:42,787
that rejection, gentlemen.
486
00:09:42,788 --> 00:09:43,721
I would have did it.
487
00:09:43,721 --> 00:09:44,221
Aah!
488
00:09:44,221 --> 00:09:44,921
[ Laughter ]
489
00:09:44,922 --> 00:09:46,120
Oh, you son of it...
490
00:09:46,121 --> 00:09:47,787
narrator: Joe got burned at
491
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,387
the beach, tying sal with one
492
00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:51,720
loss apiece.
493
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,053
You know what's a big scam?
494
00:09:53,054 --> 00:09:54,054
Those boardwalk games.
495
00:09:54,055 --> 00:09:55,087
Worst is when you're with a girl
496
00:09:55,088 --> 00:09:56,120
and she wants that stupid Teddy
497
00:09:56,121 --> 00:09:56,421
bear.
498
00:09:56,422 --> 00:09:57,453
Oh, I don't like when they do
499
00:09:57,454 --> 00:09:57,954
that... "hey!
500
00:09:57,955 --> 00:09:58,987
You want to win a bear for your
501
00:09:58,988 --> 00:09:59,421
lady?"
502
00:09:59,422 --> 00:10:00,753
I tell them straight up, "no."
503
00:10:00,754 --> 00:10:01,987
How long you been single,
504
00:10:01,988 --> 00:10:02,421
buddy?
505
00:10:02,422 --> 00:10:04,753
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Right.
506
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:06,020
Do we have fascinating lives?
507
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:06,654
[ Snorts ]
508
00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:07,753
We want to know, so today
509
00:10:07,754 --> 00:10:08,887
we're holding a focus group.
510
00:10:08,888 --> 00:10:10,020
We'll be telling our life
511
00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:10,988
stories via a slideshow
512
00:10:10,988 --> 00:10:11,488
presentation.
513
00:10:11,488 --> 00:10:12,388
The catch is that we haven't
514
00:10:12,388 --> 00:10:13,388
seen any of these slides because
515
00:10:13,388 --> 00:10:14,254
we've written them for each
516
00:10:14,255 --> 00:10:15,288
other.
517
00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:16,420
At the end, we're gonna ask
518
00:10:16,421 --> 00:10:17,553
them, "how likely are you to buy
519
00:10:17,554 --> 00:10:19,320
this book on a scale from 1 to
520
00:10:19,321 --> 00:10:19,621
10?"
521
00:10:19,622 --> 00:10:20,820
And whoever gets the lowest
522
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,953
score loses.
523
00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:25,253
I recently got a book deal.
524
00:10:25,254 --> 00:10:26,487
So, basically, I just have a
525
00:10:26,488 --> 00:10:27,753
brief slide presentation that
526
00:10:27,754 --> 00:10:28,887
covers, like, some of the
527
00:10:28,888 --> 00:10:30,187
chapters, overview, and themes
528
00:10:30,188 --> 00:10:31,321
of the book.
529
00:10:31,354 --> 00:10:32,387
I run through them with you,
530
00:10:32,388 --> 00:10:33,520
answer the quick questionnaire,
531
00:10:33,521 --> 00:10:34,121
and you're out.
532
00:10:34,121 --> 00:10:34,688
All right.
533
00:10:34,688 --> 00:10:35,654
The book is tentatively
534
00:10:35,654 --> 00:10:36,421
titled "life."
535
00:10:36,422 --> 00:10:37,987
That's me... sal vulcano.
536
00:10:37,988 --> 00:10:40,021
[ Click ]
537
00:10:42,754 --> 00:10:44,087
Uh...
538
00:10:44,088 --> 00:10:44,888
[ Laughter ]
539
00:10:44,888 --> 00:10:45,821
[ Laughing ] A twin
540
00:10:45,821 --> 00:10:46,388
step-sister!
541
00:10:46,389 --> 00:10:47,653
It's as mind-blowing to me as
542
00:10:47,654 --> 00:10:48,254
it is to you.
543
00:10:48,254 --> 00:10:48,821
[ Laughter ]
544
00:10:48,854 --> 00:10:50,220
[ Claps ]
545
00:10:50,221 --> 00:10:51,820
Uh... okay, now, this is my
546
00:10:51,821 --> 00:10:53,220
hotness ranking of Disney
547
00:10:53,221 --> 00:10:53,988
princesses.
548
00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:54,788
[ Laughter ]
549
00:10:54,789 --> 00:10:56,287
First, you got Ariel as the
550
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,221
mermaid.
551
00:10:57,222 --> 00:10:58,453
[ Laughter ]
552
00:10:58,454 --> 00:10:59,887
Second, Ariel as a human.
553
00:10:59,888 --> 00:11:00,721
[ Laughter ]
554
00:11:00,722 --> 00:11:02,353
And then the girl [chuckling]
555
00:11:02,354 --> 00:11:03,853
Lion from "the lion king."
556
00:11:03,854 --> 00:11:05,353
Because, really, you know, that
557
00:11:05,354 --> 00:11:06,720
is one [voice cracking] hot
558
00:11:06,721 --> 00:11:07,154
lion.
559
00:11:07,154 --> 00:11:07,821
[ Laughter ]
560
00:11:07,854 --> 00:11:11,187
Nitty-gritty stuff.
561
00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:12,253
[ Laughter ]
562
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,553
This is, uh...
563
00:11:13,554 --> 00:11:15,120
[ Chuckles ]
564
00:11:15,121 --> 00:11:16,687
[ Laughter ]
565
00:11:16,688 --> 00:11:17,987
[ Chuckling ] This is my... i'm
566
00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:18,921
not sure who that is.
567
00:11:18,922 --> 00:11:21,953
[ Laughter ]
568
00:11:21,954 --> 00:11:23,620
"My top 5 favorite outfits on
569
00:11:23,621 --> 00:11:25,820
Ryan seacrest."
570
00:11:25,821 --> 00:11:26,987
Blazer, button-down shirt,
571
00:11:26,988 --> 00:11:28,320
khakis... that's your standard
572
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:28,821
seacrest.
573
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,187
Button-down shirt, cute sweater
574
00:11:30,188 --> 00:11:30,688
vest...
575
00:11:30,688 --> 00:11:31,388
[ Laughter ]
576
00:11:31,388 --> 00:11:32,121
And a tuxedo.
577
00:11:32,122 --> 00:11:34,020
Who doesn't look good in that?
578
00:11:34,021 --> 00:11:35,653
[ Laughing ]
579
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:36,853
This is two turtles [bleep]
580
00:11:36,854 --> 00:11:38,888
[ Laughter, clapping ]
581
00:11:40,921 --> 00:11:41,721
So, that's basically it.
582
00:11:41,721 --> 00:11:42,488
Thank you guys so much.
583
00:11:42,488 --> 00:11:43,254
I really appreciate it.
584
00:11:43,254 --> 00:11:44,154
Good luck with the book.
585
00:11:44,154 --> 00:11:45,054
Thanks a lot, guys.
586
00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:45,488
Really?
587
00:11:45,489 --> 00:11:46,753
[ Laughing ] Are you serious?
588
00:11:46,754 --> 00:11:47,754
You [bleep]
589
00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:48,554
Well, this specific
590
00:11:48,555 --> 00:11:49,653
question... "how likely are you
591
00:11:49,654 --> 00:11:50,354
to buy this book?"
592
00:11:50,355 --> 00:11:52,287
Hey, listen, they liked it.
593
00:11:52,288 --> 00:11:54,253
Throw a number out there.
594
00:11:54,254 --> 00:11:54,654
Eight.
595
00:11:54,654 --> 00:11:55,154
What?
596
00:11:55,155 --> 00:11:56,187
I'll take the eight.
597
00:11:56,188 --> 00:11:57,453
I'll take the eight!
598
00:11:57,454 --> 00:12:00,220
How did you get an eight?
599
00:12:00,221 --> 00:12:01,753
Hi. How are you?
600
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,187
Come on in, guys.
601
00:12:03,188 --> 00:12:06,220
Okay, so it's "life" by me.
602
00:12:06,221 --> 00:12:07,553
Here we go.
603
00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:10,621
[ Record scratches ]
604
00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:17,953
Okay, so it's "life" by me.
605
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,621
Here we go. So...
606
00:12:19,654 --> 00:12:21,053
Um...
607
00:12:21,054 --> 00:12:21,988
[ Laughter ]
608
00:12:21,988 --> 00:12:22,954
"Things people don't know about
609
00:12:22,954 --> 00:12:23,288
me."
610
00:12:23,289 --> 00:12:24,453
Believe it or not [chuckling] I
611
00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:25,520
have never been kissed on the
612
00:12:25,521 --> 00:12:27,287
mouth.
613
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:30,020
[ Laughter ]
614
00:12:30,021 --> 00:12:31,153
Next slide.
615
00:12:31,154 --> 00:12:32,620
This is, uh...
616
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:33,920
[ Laughter ]
617
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,320
This is when I almost got kissed
618
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:35,988
on the mouth.
619
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,420
[ Laughter ]
620
00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:40,553
Next.
621
00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:42,053
[ Stifled ] "My level of fear by
622
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:42,888
race."
623
00:12:42,889 --> 00:12:44,087
[ Laughter ]
624
00:12:44,088 --> 00:12:46,787
Yellow people's a whopping 58%.
625
00:12:46,788 --> 00:12:49,720
[ Laughter ]
626
00:12:49,721 --> 00:12:50,621
"The number..."
627
00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:51,188
[ Sighs ]
628
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:52,220
[ Laughing ] We do...
629
00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:53,453
Even she's breaking.
630
00:12:53,454 --> 00:12:54,221
[ Laughter ]
631
00:12:54,222 --> 00:12:55,353
"The number of dumps I take when
632
00:12:55,354 --> 00:12:56,387
I'm constipated"... which is
633
00:12:56,388 --> 00:12:57,787
zero.
634
00:12:57,788 --> 00:13:00,153
[ Laughter ]
635
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,320
[ Laughing ] This is my actual
636
00:13:02,321 --> 00:13:03,620
okcupid profile.
637
00:13:03,621 --> 00:13:05,853
[ Laughter ]
638
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:07,587
And, yes, you should message me
639
00:13:07,588 --> 00:13:08,853
if you're sassy, fun,
640
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:10,587
passionate, and intrigued.
641
00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:11,620
And that's it.
642
00:13:11,621 --> 00:13:12,521
[ Laughter ]
643
00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:16,020
[ Clapping ]
644
00:13:16,021 --> 00:13:16,788
Come on, give me some...
645
00:13:16,789 --> 00:13:17,987
Come on, come on, come on!
646
00:13:17,988 --> 00:13:19,053
Eight! Yes!
647
00:13:19,054 --> 00:13:21,088
I got a frickin' eight.
648
00:13:23,154 --> 00:13:25,688
So, let's get started.
649
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:28,020
[ Laughter ]
650
00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:29,520
It's gross.
651
00:13:29,521 --> 00:13:31,554
[ Laughter ]
652
00:13:34,754 --> 00:13:36,353
[ Voice cracking ] Next slide.
653
00:13:36,354 --> 00:13:37,553
"How I made my money."
654
00:13:37,554 --> 00:13:39,053
One, of course... stocks and
655
00:13:39,054 --> 00:13:39,721
bonds.
656
00:13:39,722 --> 00:13:41,887
Two was stockings and bondage.
657
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,787
The third one was [laughs]
658
00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:45,953
Chicken stock and James Bond.
659
00:13:45,954 --> 00:13:47,053
[ Laughter ]
660
00:13:47,054 --> 00:13:49,520
Because...
661
00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:50,753
You see what happened here.
662
00:13:50,754 --> 00:13:51,421
[ Laughter ]
663
00:13:51,422 --> 00:13:52,853
It starts with stocks and bonds.
664
00:13:52,854 --> 00:13:54,253
It goes to... it's very clever.
665
00:13:54,254 --> 00:13:54,921
[ Laughter ]
666
00:13:54,922 --> 00:13:56,120
And then chicken stock and
667
00:13:56,121 --> 00:13:57,520
James Bond, because who doesn't
668
00:13:57,521 --> 00:13:58,887
like a good bowl of soup while
669
00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:01,187
you're watching "octopussy."
670
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:04,253
[ Laughter ]
671
00:14:04,254 --> 00:14:05,587
"Things people don't know about
672
00:14:05,588 --> 00:14:05,888
me."
673
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:06,987
I'm not sure how to spell
674
00:14:06,988 --> 00:14:08,353
"percieved," and I'm pretty sure
675
00:14:08,354 --> 00:14:09,221
that's spelled [laughing]
676
00:14:09,221 --> 00:14:09,688
Incorrectly.
677
00:14:09,689 --> 00:14:12,887
[ Laughter, clapping ]
678
00:14:12,888 --> 00:14:15,487
[ Chuckles ]
679
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,553
Next slide.
680
00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:17,687
[ Laughter ]
681
00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:18,887
"The number of girls I bang
682
00:14:18,888 --> 00:14:20,453
[laughing] Every day."
683
00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:21,920
Sunday is my big day.
684
00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:23,553
[ Cash register dings ]
685
00:14:23,554 --> 00:14:24,554
[ Laughter ]
686
00:14:24,554 --> 00:14:25,154
And that's it.
687
00:14:25,154 --> 00:14:25,988
So, basically, that's
688
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:29,287
[laughing] My... that's my book.
689
00:14:29,288 --> 00:14:31,620
I'm probably not gonna buy the
690
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:31,988
book.
691
00:14:31,988 --> 00:14:32,488
Right.
692
00:14:32,489 --> 00:14:33,753
I felt he was kind of all over
693
00:14:33,754 --> 00:14:34,354
the place.
694
00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:35,653
[ Drumroll ]
695
00:14:35,654 --> 00:14:36,354
Three.
696
00:14:36,354 --> 00:14:37,121
Ohh!
697
00:14:37,121 --> 00:14:37,888
[ Laughs ]
698
00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:38,521
Yeah!
699
00:14:38,521 --> 00:14:39,321
[Bleep]Damn it.
700
00:14:39,322 --> 00:14:41,620
Suck!
701
00:14:41,621 --> 00:14:43,020
Please, sit. Have a seat.
702
00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:43,854
I'm Brian Quinn.
703
00:14:43,855 --> 00:14:45,220
[ Chuckles ]
704
00:14:45,221 --> 00:14:46,320
Here we go.
705
00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:47,587
[ Baby cries ]
706
00:14:47,588 --> 00:14:48,787
[ Chuckles ] White baby!
707
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,821
[ Laughter, clapping ]
708
00:14:54,221 --> 00:14:55,620
That's me as a baby.
709
00:14:55,621 --> 00:14:57,153
That's not bad, right?
710
00:14:57,154 --> 00:14:58,520
All right, "things I'm not proud
711
00:14:58,521 --> 00:14:58,854
of."
712
00:14:58,854 --> 00:14:59,721
Drugs.
713
00:14:59,722 --> 00:15:02,520
Little bit [laughing] with the
714
00:15:02,521 --> 00:15:03,188
heroin.
715
00:15:03,189 --> 00:15:05,920
[ Laughter ]
716
00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:06,554
Boom.
717
00:15:06,554 --> 00:15:07,521
"My vices"!
718
00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:09,353
[ Chuckles ] Gambling...
719
00:15:09,354 --> 00:15:10,254
Blackjack.
720
00:15:10,255 --> 00:15:12,320
[ Chuckling ] Prostitutes...
721
00:15:12,321 --> 00:15:13,453
Black Jackie.
722
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:16,753
[ Laughter ]
723
00:15:16,754 --> 00:15:19,053
[ Clapping ]
724
00:15:19,054 --> 00:15:20,387
So, and that's it!
725
00:15:20,388 --> 00:15:21,753
Thank you so much.
726
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:22,787
[ Laughter ]
727
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:23,953
I've never seen you crack
728
00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:24,488
like that.
729
00:15:24,489 --> 00:15:25,687
I couldn't stop laughing.
730
00:15:25,688 --> 00:15:27,487
"I identified with many ideas
731
00:15:27,488 --> 00:15:30,153
presented"?
732
00:15:30,154 --> 00:15:30,688
No.
733
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:31,554
Oh, you're done.
734
00:15:31,554 --> 00:15:32,521
Your goose is cooked.
735
00:15:32,521 --> 00:15:33,421
[Bleep]
736
00:15:33,421 --> 00:15:34,121
One.
737
00:15:34,121 --> 00:15:35,121
One!
738
00:15:35,122 --> 00:15:36,720
Lowest of the day!
739
00:15:36,721 --> 00:15:39,220
Narrator: Looks like q won't
740
00:15:39,221 --> 00:15:42,520
be making the bestseller list.
741
00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:43,653
If you could swap lives with
742
00:15:43,654 --> 00:15:44,687
one of us, who would it be?
743
00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:45,820
I'm gonna go with sal 'cause
744
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:46,887
his life so closely resembles
745
00:15:46,888 --> 00:15:48,053
mine that I feel there would be
746
00:15:48,054 --> 00:15:48,854
no adjustment period.
747
00:15:48,854 --> 00:15:49,421
[ Laughs ]
748
00:15:49,421 --> 00:15:50,388
Keeping with that, i'd
749
00:15:50,389 --> 00:15:51,553
probably swap with you, as well.
750
00:15:51,554 --> 00:15:52,620
Why doesn't anyone want to
751
00:15:52,621 --> 00:15:53,188
swap with me?
752
00:15:53,189 --> 00:15:54,353
Then people would think of me
753
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,188
what we think of you.
754
00:15:55,189 --> 00:15:57,221
[ Laughter ]
755
00:15:59,354 --> 00:16:00,420
We are at casale jewelers,
756
00:16:00,421 --> 00:16:01,687
playing jewelry experts helping
757
00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:03,021
uples in love.
758
00:16:03,054 --> 00:16:04,187
We got to do and say what
759
00:16:04,188 --> 00:16:05,420
we're told, and if you refuse,
760
00:16:05,421 --> 00:16:05,854
you lose!
761
00:16:05,855 --> 00:16:06,920
Sal's gonna get a pass on
762
00:16:06,921 --> 00:16:07,987
this one because he's kind of
763
00:16:07,988 --> 00:16:09,087
useless around people in love.
764
00:16:09,088 --> 00:16:10,253
[ Voice breaking ] It's that
765
00:16:10,254 --> 00:16:11,420
I hold love in such high regard.
766
00:16:11,421 --> 00:16:12,520
It's not something to be toyed
767
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:12,854
with.
768
00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:13,254
It's...
769
00:16:13,255 --> 00:16:14,453
that's what we're looking to
770
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:15,021
avoid here.
771
00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:15,954
It's all right, man.
772
00:16:15,955 --> 00:16:16,987
Love is an institution.
773
00:16:16,988 --> 00:16:18,953
[ Laughter ]
774
00:16:18,954 --> 00:16:21,520
It's okay, man.
775
00:16:21,521 --> 00:16:22,887
Let's put this over here so
776
00:16:22,888 --> 00:16:24,320
you can see a little bit of the
777
00:16:24,321 --> 00:16:25,221
case there.
778
00:16:25,222 --> 00:16:26,987
Joe is such a salesman.
779
00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:28,387
Now, emerald cut?
780
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,753
You like anything...
781
00:16:30,754 --> 00:16:31,954
Oh, okay.
782
00:16:31,988 --> 00:16:32,854
So, we don't know what the
783
00:16:32,854 --> 00:16:33,421
[bleep] That is.
784
00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:35,487
[ Laughter ]
785
00:16:35,488 --> 00:16:36,587
Joe, take a look at the guy's
786
00:16:36,588 --> 00:16:37,687
pierced eyebrow.
787
00:16:37,688 --> 00:16:39,420
You got the face ring and
788
00:16:39,421 --> 00:16:40,021
everything.
789
00:16:40,022 --> 00:16:41,453
[ Laughs ] "I pierced my ball
790
00:16:41,454 --> 00:16:41,954
myself."
791
00:16:41,955 --> 00:16:43,287
I tried a ball Pierce once.
792
00:16:43,288 --> 00:16:44,088
[ Laughing ]
793
00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:44,488
Oh!
794
00:16:44,488 --> 00:16:45,221
By myself.
795
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,154
It was accidental.
796
00:16:46,155 --> 00:16:47,953
[ Laughter ]
797
00:16:47,954 --> 00:16:49,287
Joe, breathe on the ring to
798
00:16:49,288 --> 00:16:49,788
clean it.
799
00:16:49,788 --> 00:16:50,554
[ Chuckles ]
800
00:16:50,554 --> 00:16:51,454
Oh! [ Blows ]
801
00:16:51,454 --> 00:16:52,121
[ Laughter ]
802
00:16:52,121 --> 00:16:52,788
[ Blows ]
803
00:16:52,788 --> 00:16:53,688
[ Gags ]
804
00:16:53,688 --> 00:16:54,221
[ Blows ]
805
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,653
This machine is busted, so...
806
00:16:55,654 --> 00:16:56,987
Pbht!
807
00:16:56,988 --> 00:16:58,153
[ Laughter ]
808
00:16:58,154 --> 00:16:59,187
Pbht!
809
00:16:59,188 --> 00:17:00,088
[ Laughter ]
810
00:17:00,089 --> 00:17:02,121
[ Blowing, hissing, spitting ]
811
00:17:04,521 --> 00:17:05,488
[ Laughter ]
812
00:17:05,489 --> 00:17:06,620
Put it on her finger now.
813
00:17:06,621 --> 00:17:07,720
[ Laughing ] Now put it on
814
00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:08,221
her hand.
815
00:17:08,221 --> 00:17:09,188
[ Blows ]
816
00:17:09,189 --> 00:17:11,153
[ Laughter ]
817
00:17:11,154 --> 00:17:12,320
Clean as a whistle.
818
00:17:12,321 --> 00:17:13,453
[ Blowing ]
819
00:17:13,454 --> 00:17:13,954
[ Laughter ]
820
00:17:13,955 --> 00:17:16,454
[ Ding! ]
821
00:17:16,488 --> 00:17:17,820
How long you guys been
822
00:17:17,821 --> 00:17:19,520
together?
823
00:17:19,521 --> 00:17:20,787
Two years?
824
00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,220
Marriage is a big commitment,
825
00:17:22,221 --> 00:17:22,554
man.
826
00:17:22,554 --> 00:17:23,488
"Are you guys happy
827
00:17:23,489 --> 00:17:25,453
sexually?"
828
00:17:25,454 --> 00:17:26,753
So, like, s...
829
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,654
Sexually...
830
00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:28,554
[ Laughter ]
831
00:17:28,555 --> 00:17:30,588
Everything's okay?
832
00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:34,153
Wink at him.
833
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:36,020
[ Ding! ]
834
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:36,654
[ Chuckles ]
835
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,853
[ Laughing ] Keep winking at
836
00:17:37,854 --> 00:17:38,221
them.
837
00:17:38,221 --> 00:17:39,088
[ Ding! ]
838
00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:41,887
[ Laughing ]
839
00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:43,887
[ Ding! ]
840
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:44,788
[ Laughing ] Keep winking.
841
00:17:44,789 --> 00:17:46,487
[ Ding! ]
842
00:17:46,488 --> 00:17:48,587
[ Laughter ]
843
00:17:48,588 --> 00:17:49,054
Aww.
844
00:17:49,054 --> 00:17:50,021
Aww. I like that.
845
00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:50,621
[ Ding! ]
846
00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:51,354
[ Laughter ]
847
00:17:51,355 --> 00:17:52,587
[ Ding! ] I like that.
848
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:53,354
[ Laughter ]
849
00:17:53,354 --> 00:17:54,188
Winking at her.
850
00:17:54,189 --> 00:17:55,853
[ Ding! ]
851
00:17:55,854 --> 00:17:57,920
[ Laughter ]
852
00:17:57,921 --> 00:17:59,521
[ Laughter, clapping ]
853
00:17:59,554 --> 00:18:00,620
I forgot what I'm winking
854
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:01,354
about at this point.
855
00:18:01,355 --> 00:18:02,853
[ Laughter ]
856
00:18:02,854 --> 00:18:03,821
"Can I confess something to
857
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:04,121
you?"
858
00:18:04,121 --> 00:18:05,054
Can I confess something to
859
00:18:05,055 --> 00:18:06,320
you?
860
00:18:06,321 --> 00:18:07,620
"When the store closes..."
861
00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:08,853
When the store closes...
862
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,220
"i try on all the jewelry
863
00:18:10,221 --> 00:18:11,687
naked."
864
00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:13,653
[ Chuckling ]
865
00:18:13,654 --> 00:18:15,220
[ Laughter ]
866
00:18:15,221 --> 00:18:17,220
[ Laughing ] Say it, q.
867
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,353
Say it.
868
00:18:18,354 --> 00:18:19,354
[ Record scratches ]
869
00:18:19,354 --> 00:18:20,054
[ Laughter ]
870
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,653
[ Buzzer ]
871
00:18:21,654 --> 00:18:22,953
Let's take a look at this.
872
00:18:22,954 --> 00:18:24,020
Gorgeous!
873
00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:25,287
"I know for a fact, though,
874
00:18:25,288 --> 00:18:26,453
this diamond was smuggled."
875
00:18:26,454 --> 00:18:27,787
This has an interesting story
876
00:18:27,788 --> 00:18:28,388
behind it.
877
00:18:28,389 --> 00:18:30,420
This ring was smuggled.
878
00:18:30,421 --> 00:18:30,888
Oh.
879
00:18:30,888 --> 00:18:31,721
"In an anus."
880
00:18:31,722 --> 00:18:33,120
[ Chuckling ] Inside the...
881
00:18:33,121 --> 00:18:35,087
Inside the smuggler's anus.
882
00:18:35,088 --> 00:18:35,621
Aah!
883
00:18:35,622 --> 00:18:37,253
[ Chuckling ] We... we wash
884
00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:37,821
it first.
885
00:18:37,822 --> 00:18:39,220
Like, you can't... right?
886
00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:39,921
There's nothing.
887
00:18:39,921 --> 00:18:40,454
[ Laughter ]
888
00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:41,454
Smell it. Nothing, right?
889
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:42,520
There's nothing there.
890
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,388
Smells good.
891
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:45,353
Let me show this. Come here.
892
00:18:45,354 --> 00:18:46,354
Murr, lean right on him.
893
00:18:46,355 --> 00:18:47,387
[ Chuckling ] What are you
894
00:18:47,388 --> 00:18:47,788
doing?
895
00:18:47,789 --> 00:18:48,820
Put your face on his bald
896
00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:49,121
head.
897
00:18:49,122 --> 00:18:50,187
I want your cheek on his bald
898
00:18:50,188 --> 00:18:50,488
head.
899
00:18:50,489 --> 00:18:51,587
That's it.
900
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:52,953
That's it.
901
00:18:52,954 --> 00:18:54,587
Let me just get it.
902
00:18:54,588 --> 00:18:55,753
[ Laughter ]
903
00:18:55,754 --> 00:18:57,053
This... you got a fat neck!
904
00:18:57,054 --> 00:18:57,754
[ Laughter ]
905
00:18:57,754 --> 00:18:58,654
I... you're...
906
00:18:58,655 --> 00:18:59,720
kiss his forehead.
907
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:00,688
Kiss his forehead.
908
00:19:00,688 --> 00:19:01,621
Let me... mwah!
909
00:19:01,622 --> 00:19:02,687
That's scratchy.
910
00:19:02,688 --> 00:19:03,588
[ Laughter ]
911
00:19:03,589 --> 00:19:05,753
It's, like, stubbly. It's...
912
00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:06,820
[ laughter ]
913
00:19:06,821 --> 00:19:07,788
Lick his head.
914
00:19:07,788 --> 00:19:08,388
Do it.
915
00:19:08,388 --> 00:19:09,188
Right now.
916
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,853
Lick it.
917
00:19:10,854 --> 00:19:13,853
Ohh, my god!
918
00:19:13,854 --> 00:19:14,654
Oh, my god!
919
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,354
[ Ding! ]
920
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,188
[ Laughter ]
921
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,387
My god!
922
00:19:17,388 --> 00:19:18,887
Too bad, q. Too bad.
923
00:19:18,888 --> 00:19:19,554
I...
924
00:19:19,555 --> 00:19:21,153
What happened, buddy?
925
00:19:21,154 --> 00:19:22,453
Something like this happened.
926
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:22,888
Bleh!
927
00:19:22,888 --> 00:19:23,621
Aah!
928
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:24,288
Gross!
929
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,288
[Bleep] You!
930
00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:26,054
Come on!
931
00:19:26,055 --> 00:19:27,420
Are you crazy?!
932
00:19:27,421 --> 00:19:28,520
Narrator: So, it was q who
933
00:19:28,521 --> 00:19:29,653
really took a licking at the
934
00:19:29,654 --> 00:19:30,753
jewelry store, and that makes
935
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,620
him tonight's big loser.
936
00:19:32,621 --> 00:19:33,621
This one's actually kind of
937
00:19:33,621 --> 00:19:33,954
easy, q.
938
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:35,053
You just got to go out there and
939
00:19:35,054 --> 00:19:35,921
guess what's the last thing
940
00:19:35,921 --> 00:19:36,421
someone ate.
941
00:19:36,421 --> 00:19:37,388
How am I supposed to guess
942
00:19:37,388 --> 00:19:38,021
what people ate?
943
00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:38,754
I'll take this one!
944
00:19:38,755 --> 00:19:39,920
[ Laughing ]
945
00:19:39,921 --> 00:19:41,153
You have to have people come
946
00:19:41,154 --> 00:19:42,220
up to you, take the deepest
947
00:19:42,221 --> 00:19:43,453
breath they can, and just spray
948
00:19:43,454 --> 00:19:44,454
your nose down with their
949
00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:44,888
breath.
950
00:19:44,888 --> 00:19:45,254
Ugh!
951
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:46,320
It's gonna be amazing.
952
00:19:46,321 --> 00:19:47,453
They're gonna be breathing
953
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,553
all up in this area.
954
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:49,554
Are you insane?
955
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:50,920
I mean, right on your f...
956
00:19:50,921 --> 00:19:51,654
Like, ahh!
957
00:19:51,655 --> 00:19:53,053
One other detail, q.
958
00:19:53,054 --> 00:19:54,787
You can't stop until you guess
959
00:19:54,788 --> 00:19:55,288
correctly.
960
00:19:55,289 --> 00:19:56,453
Yeah, so you got to keep
961
00:19:56,454 --> 00:19:57,388
going until you get it.
962
00:19:57,388 --> 00:19:57,921
Good luck.
963
00:19:57,922 --> 00:20:01,487
[ Chuckling ]
964
00:20:01,488 --> 00:20:02,553
I have to try and guess the
965
00:20:02,554 --> 00:20:03,454
last thing that you ate by
966
00:20:03,455 --> 00:20:05,120
smelling your breath.
967
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:08,788
[ Record scratches ]
968
00:20:16,021 --> 00:20:17,487
I have to try and guess the
969
00:20:17,488 --> 00:20:18,720
last thing that you ate by
970
00:20:18,721 --> 00:20:19,721
smelling your breath.
971
00:20:19,722 --> 00:20:21,020
You want to help me out here?
972
00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:21,621
Go for it.
973
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,488
All right. All right.
974
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:23,188
[ Blows ]
975
00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:23,754
Oh, boy.
976
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,653
Oh, my god!
977
00:20:25,654 --> 00:20:28,553
Was it like a fish meal?
978
00:20:28,554 --> 00:20:28,888
No.
979
00:20:28,888 --> 00:20:29,321
Ohh!
980
00:20:29,322 --> 00:20:30,553
It wasn't toothpaste, right?
981
00:20:30,554 --> 00:20:32,353
[ Laughter ]
982
00:20:32,354 --> 00:20:33,188
Oh, my god, dude.
983
00:20:33,189 --> 00:20:34,287
This guy ate something fierce.
984
00:20:34,288 --> 00:20:34,788
I know it.
985
00:20:34,788 --> 00:20:35,321
Oh, my god!
986
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,088
All right, ready?
987
00:20:36,088 --> 00:20:36,488
Yeah.
988
00:20:36,488 --> 00:20:36,788
Go.
989
00:20:36,788 --> 00:20:37,754
[ Laughing ] Look at him!
990
00:20:37,754 --> 00:20:38,221
[ Laughter ]
991
00:20:38,222 --> 00:20:39,953
Oh, boy! Keep going.
992
00:20:39,954 --> 00:20:42,153
I'm getting there. Wow! Oh, wow!
993
00:20:42,154 --> 00:20:44,320
Oh, gee... well, you definitely
994
00:20:44,321 --> 00:20:44,688
smoke.
995
00:20:44,688 --> 00:20:45,154
Yeah.
996
00:20:45,154 --> 00:20:45,788
[ Laughter ]
997
00:20:45,788 --> 00:20:46,488
Okay. Okay.
998
00:20:46,489 --> 00:20:47,987
I'm gonna say...
999
00:20:47,988 --> 00:20:48,788
Jalapeño poppers.
1000
00:20:48,788 --> 00:20:49,421
[ Laughter ]
1001
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,053
[ Buzzer ]
1002
00:20:51,054 --> 00:20:52,320
Lox and cream cheese.
1003
00:20:52,321 --> 00:20:53,620
Lox and cream cheese!
1004
00:20:53,621 --> 00:20:54,254
All: Ohh!
1005
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:54,921
On a bagel.
1006
00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:56,453
So, smoked salmon.
1007
00:20:56,454 --> 00:20:57,354
Okay.
1008
00:20:57,354 --> 00:20:57,854
[ Exhales ]
1009
00:20:57,855 --> 00:20:59,920
Uh... oats.
1010
00:20:59,921 --> 00:21:00,654
Poached egg.
1011
00:21:00,654 --> 00:21:01,254
[ Buzzer ]
1012
00:21:01,254 --> 00:21:01,854
All: Ohh!
1013
00:21:01,855 --> 00:21:03,387
They blow their breath in my
1014
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:04,820
mouth, and it settles onto my
1015
00:21:04,821 --> 00:21:06,987
tongue, and I can taste them...
1016
00:21:06,988 --> 00:21:08,220
Their essence.
1017
00:21:08,221 --> 00:21:09,420
[ Exhales ]
1018
00:21:09,421 --> 00:21:09,954
[ Exhales ]
1019
00:21:09,955 --> 00:21:11,787
[ Exhales ]
1020
00:21:11,788 --> 00:21:13,687
Uh, it was like...
1021
00:21:13,688 --> 00:21:14,288
Tuna fish?
1022
00:21:14,289 --> 00:21:15,553
You ate a tuna-fish sandwich
1023
00:21:15,554 --> 00:21:16,354
today.
1024
00:21:16,354 --> 00:21:17,254
No.
1025
00:21:17,254 --> 00:21:17,821
Ugh!
1026
00:21:17,821 --> 00:21:18,588
[ Buzzer ]
1027
00:21:18,589 --> 00:21:19,820
My stomach is, like,
1028
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,253
flip-flopping.
1029
00:21:21,254 --> 00:21:22,387
[ Horse neighing ]
1030
00:21:22,388 --> 00:21:23,453
Oh [bleep] hell.
1031
00:21:23,454 --> 00:21:24,487
Quit complaining, or we'll
1032
00:21:24,488 --> 00:21:25,488
make you guess what the horse
1033
00:21:25,488 --> 00:21:25,754
ate.
1034
00:21:25,755 --> 00:21:26,953
[ Laughing ]
1035
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:27,921
Right in the...
1036
00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:28,821
[ Exhales ]
1037
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:29,788
It's gross!
1038
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,220
Was it a gallon of sour milk?
1039
00:21:32,221 --> 00:21:33,320
[ Laughter ]
1040
00:21:33,321 --> 00:21:33,688
Okay.
1041
00:21:33,688 --> 00:21:34,354
[ Exhales ]
1042
00:21:34,354 --> 00:21:35,221
Okay. One more.
1043
00:21:35,222 --> 00:21:36,454
[ Exhales ]
1044
00:21:36,488 --> 00:21:37,288
Oh, my god.
1045
00:21:37,289 --> 00:21:39,220
Was it... was it bacon?
1046
00:21:39,221 --> 00:21:39,988
Yes!
1047
00:21:39,988 --> 00:21:40,688
It was bacon?!
1048
00:21:40,688 --> 00:21:41,054
Yes.
1049
00:21:41,054 --> 00:21:41,954
It was bacon?!
1050
00:21:41,954 --> 00:21:42,521
Yes!
1051
00:21:42,521 --> 00:21:43,421
It was bacon!
1052
00:21:43,422 --> 00:21:45,587
Oh, well done.
1053
00:21:45,588 --> 00:21:46,787
Yes!
1054
00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:49,354
Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
56669
