All language subtitles for Mick Foley - Hard Knocks And Cheap Pops (ซับไทย) (2001)

I am an attention seeker.

I'm a serial killer.

I'm a serial killer.

I'm a serial killer.

It is definitely great to be back in Phoenix, Arizona, Addison Square Garden.

Oh, there's a cheap pop in, boy, he knows how to get a cheap pop.

This is a war.

This is carnage.

Hell in the cell.

I have never seen anything like this.

Bang, bang.

Have a nice day.

Hi, this is Mick Foley, and thank you for hopefully purchasing, not renting

or taping your buddy's copy of Hard Knocks and Cheap Pops.

The Mick Foley story, the ongoing saga of Mick Foley,

and we're going to be taking a look at some Hard Knocks and some Cheap Pops,

including the one right here on this video.

I'd like to start in a rather controversial fashion.

I'd like to start by talking about Al Snow.

Don't turn off the tape just yet, okay?

Al and I have kind of a unique...

I think calling it a friendship might be stretching it.

We have a unique relationship, but there are times when I like Al

as you might be able to see by this unique and somewhat rare video footage.

I've been involved in some pretty devastating matches.

Yeah, devastating for the fans to watch.

Very funny. Let me ask you a question.

Sure, Al.

What happens when I turn this little knob?

It hurts, Al. That's not funny.

The feud kind of took an ugly turn with a hardcore match that Al was in.

And Al Snow looks like he likes it. Look at him.

I'm going to use an insider term, and I don't like to do this too much,

but there's something known as selling, which is making a blow look like it hurts.

Now, when a chair is delivered to your head,

you usually don't have to sell the blow because it really does hurt a lot.

But you wouldn't be able to tell that from Al's reaction,

because Al was basically laughing in the face of a chair shot.

And Al Snow's laughing. Al Snow has a smile on his face.

This guy's whacked.

And he got a lot of criticism and a lot of jokes on my part,

but Al was so sensitive about it that I promised him

I wouldn't joke about it in front of the boys.

And I did worse than joke about it in front of the boys at Mr. Sacco's birthday party.

I'd first like to say a little congratulations to Al Snow

for landing that lucrative endorsement deal with Lazy Boy,

which is surprising because Al usually doesn't sell chairs.

Yeah, the Foley-Snow relationship became somewhat ugly or uglier,

and we stopped riding together. Feelings really were hurt for real.

And for a while, we definitely stopped rooming together.

And then I went about writing Have a Nice Day,

which, by the way, was the number one New York Times bestseller.

Yeah.

And there were something like 72 Al Snow jokes in the book.

Nick Foley.

Now, what number are you up to there?

Number 68.

All right, read it to me.

He looked like a child who doesn't want to sit on Santa's lap

or an adult was forced to watch an Al Snow rap.

Let's go. What's the next one?

Oh.

What number are we up to?

What?

What number are we up to?

Number 69.

Two Gerald Briscoe.

Okay.

Let's see here.

I was in a stupor for the next two days.

I looked like a cross between Popeye Doyle

when he was strung out on Smack and the French Connection 2.

Remember that?

Yeah. He looked pretty bad.

And an audience after sitting through an Al Snow match.

Little things like that.

And in a sense, I wasn't trying to hurt Al.

I was trying to make up with him, like this was my gift to Al.

Though Al refuses to admit it, it was actually good for both of our careers

because in the case of Art Imitating Life,

Al became my best friend on air

and we would joke with each other in some very memorable sequences,

including a vacation to Las Vegas.

We're here, Al.

All right, man.

Viva Las Vegas as part of UPN's Vegas Invasion Weekend.

That's why they pulled out all the stops and flew us first class.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hey.

Flew us first class?

Yeah.

I was in a 28C.

I was packed by the Crapper.

How the hell I saw you there?

Hey, look at this guy to your left.

Look at the smile on his little face as we make his day.

Al Snow!

Hey, guys!

How you guys doing?

Hey, we're hanging out.

It doesn't matter how you're doing!

Come on! Take him down!

Who's your favorite wrestler?

Punk!

Hey!

Mankind!

Mankind!

I can't hear you.

Mankind!

Look at that.

That's the hand of a lifetime.

I've been dreaming about a hand like this, baby.

You dream about your hand all the time.

Shut up, Al.

Because very soon, Mrs. Foley's little boy is about to go home with a lot of dollarinis.

Finally, Gerrard has come back to Las Vegas!

It's him, that son of a...

Let's get him!

You're in a lot of trouble, young man!

You jerk!

Take him, Al!

Hurt him!

So things kind of loosened up a little bit between me and Al, because he realized that,

let's face it, he might be able to ride my coattails to a main event someday, if he

was good, if he behaved.

And things opened up, and I think we had some very memorable verbal altercations, but like

I said, I still got a little more air time than Al did.

I mean, let's face it, there really is no best of Al Snow tape, as we'll see right here.

Oh, man!

It's the best of Al Snow!

I can't wait to play this!

There's nothing in here!

It's empty!

There is no best of Al Snow!

Of course there is!

There's no such thing as the best of Al Snow!

This is the merriest Christmas of all!

Thank you, Santa!

The best of Al Snow!

Unfortunately, as my hijinks with Al Snow were reaching its apex, my body was literally

screaming at me to retire.

Actually, I think that was my wife screaming at me to retire, but I only had one problem

with that, and that is the money was finally starting to roll in.

After years of $10 payoffs, Mick Foley was getting rich, and I didn't want it to end,

so what I did, I called upon The Rock to form a humorous team, The Rock and Sock Connection,

and what followed were some memorable moments.

Mankind was talking to the people, and the people want Mankind as The Rock's partner!

A double people double!

The Rock got the cover!

Can he?

Mankind and The Rock are the new Tag Team Champions!

The Rock and Sock Connection lives on!

Mankind honoring his three of The Rock!

I just want to make this night special!

Nice jacket!

The Rock and Sock Connection!

Mr. Rocko!

Well, look at that!

You think The Rock cares about The Rock and Sock Connection?

No, you're wrong!

What are you, retarded or something?

It doesn't matter if you like your shirt!

It doesn't matter how I feel, Michael Cole!

Who are you talking to?

The Rock wipes his ass with how Mankind feels about The Rock and Sock Connection!

The Rock and Sock Connection was really rolling in the ring as well.

I think me and The Rock were Tag Team Champions like three times,

but there was a little wrench thrown in the works.

You see, my book came out, and I was very proud of it,

and of course, being The Rock's buddy, I wanted him to have the first autographed copy.

I want to give you this, just like you asked for this bad boy,

a pre-copy of my book, just like you said,

to The Great One, Rock and Sock Forever, your friend and financial advisor.

Oh, yeah, wonderful, great, that's great.

Where is The Rock in this book?

230.

230, that's all The Rock needs to know.

Thank you very much, Mick.

Well, The Rock didn't treat it with the type of respect that I thought it deserved,

and it was none other than my buddy, Al Snow, who found it in an unfortunate place.

They threw this away?

How could they throw away a treasure like this?

This is Mick's life work.

And what transpired was really memorable because it was truly angry mankind,

hadn't been seen since the days of Cactus Jack.

How could you do that?

How could you?

How could The Rock do what?

I give you a present, I give you something I've worked hard on,

and you just throw it away?

What are you talking about, your book?

God, it's not my book, it's my life.

It's my work, it's my blood, my sweat, my tears, and you take it and you throw it away.

Mick, The Rock doesn't know what you're talking about.

God damn it, it's not about you.

It's not about The Rock and Sonic Connection.

It's about the fact that I give, I give, I give, and you keep on taking.

And so I say to you, Dwayne, I say you piss on everything I believe in.

I say piss on you, you self-centered, egotistical, self-righteous son of a bitch.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you wanna come in here, run your mouth at The Rock,

barge in on The Rock?

Well, The Rock says this.

No, I say this.

I say this.

I say I don't wanna know you.

I don't wanna fight you, Rock.

I don't wanna work with you.

I don't wanna even know you exist.

So one last time, I walk down the aisle tonight, and after that, everything,

everything, you and me, no more.

You live with that and grow up.

I mean, I was devastated, but you know who was there to pick up the pieces?

Al Snow.

That's right.

We became best friends and tag team partners, and even though we sucked big time in the ring,

we did get a chance to hold onto those belts one time.

But unfortunately, the time that I won the belt with Al against the Hollys

represented to me what may have been my worst in-ring performance ever,

and it was right after that that I approached Vince McMahon with the idea of,

you know, hanging up the tights for good.

So we agreed that, you know, I was gonna pretty much retire in November,

the November pay-per-view.

In the meantime, I found out that The Rock never really did throw my book out.

It was Al Snow.

That book is a piece of garbage, and I'm the one who threw it in the trash

because that's where it belonged.

I did it to show you just how real a friend The Rock was.

Shut your mouths!

Al Snow?

I can't believe Al Snow threw Nick's book in the trash.

Look at this!

Come on!

Al Snow assaulting mankind.

Get yourself together, damn it!

Mankind fighting back up.

Uh-oh.

The two, they're best of friends, or at least they were.

Forget about friendship now, JR.

They were when the night started, but they're not now.

Al and I actually had a couple good matches.

I see these two coming.

You gotta run.

Well, I didn't. You did.

He asked me why I did.

And look at this.

Oh, man.

Base first.

Come on, Al.

That's still Brady there, which holds equipment in the back.

They're back in the locker room area.

Al Snow hammering away on Mankind, falls count anywhere.

Only because I care.

Let's watch.

Right hand.

Not only is he pounding his face,

and he's fat-mounting him at the same time.

Another right hand by Al Snow, and Mankind battles back down.

Wait a minute, King.

Look at this.

They're in front of that DX dressing room door.

Oh, no, look!

You know who helped me win the match?

Well, let's take a look.

Wait a minute.

That's Al Snow.

Al Snow's been tossed out of the locker room.

Wait a minute.

What ended now?

Mankind into the cover now.

What happened inside that locker room?

Did DX do a number on Al Snow?

We saw Al Snow talking to DX before this matchup.

Apparently, he tried to lure Mankind back to the DX locker room.

It was a set-up that apparently had backfired on Al Snow, King.

How would DX want to do in Al Snow?

I have no idea.

Hey, it's The Rock!

It's The Rock!

What?

The flying backfire!

The Rock took out Al Snow!

In Al Rock's dressing room!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

The Rock stuck it to Al Snow, and Mankind picks up the win!

The retirement was set for Survivor Series, and it was weird,

because fate kind of lent a hand in a strange way

when Steve Austin suffered a real serious neck injury.

Wait a minute.

Good God Almighty!

For God's sakes, that card just ran over Austin!

And it was thought that he may never wrestle again.

Then what it came down to is, as much as I liked doing Mr. Socko

and being part of The Rock and Sock Connection,

I wanted to be remembered as, you know, Cactus Jack,

or at least that type of character.

I wanted people to remember the wildness.

I started gearing up for the return of Cactus Jack at the Royal Rumble.

Now, there was a time when The Rock and Mankind had a pink slip on a pole match.

It was Triple H's wave trying to get one of us out of the WWF.

The Rock and I went at it, and I lost.

So for a few weeks, I was fired from the WWF.

And I think what just happened kind of sucked.

Me too, Mick.

Really the seedlings of the big Mick Foley, Triple H feud,

because when I did come back to the WWF,

it seemed like I had a renewed sense of purpose, and I really did.

I felt like I had something to prove not only to the fans, but to myself as well.

And when I finally had the chance to get in there with Triple H,

I mean, I literally felt stronger and faster than I had in a number of years.

You have your other champion, and Mankind got the tag. Mick Foley's in.

I started opening up on Triple H in the corner with forearm after forearm.

I mean, I know my body was moving faster than it had in years.

The two men will meet for the title at the Royal Rumble.

They're gonna bust his face wide open.

Oh, my God, look at the right hands. They're pissed in the...

And when I came for the big running knee,

the problem was I was moving so much quicker than I had.

If you look closely, I actually...

Many times I've done this move, I never hurt myself.

And I hit the turnbuckle so hard that I actually bruised my sternum.

And you can see that I actually had to stop and catch my breath.

But Triple H and I were in high gear,

and he ended up opening me up with the timekeeper's bell.

Oh!

Did you hear that, JR?

Did you hear that?

It was kind of dramatic because even though I was bleeding and I was beaten,

Triple H continued the assault.

I'm right here!

Oh, my God!

My God, look out! That's it!

Triple H's at pedaling, Mick Foley right to our table.

That guy is bleeding.

Triple H is hammering. Mick Foley here.

And Mick Foley's not gonna stop.

What? Oh, my God.

And at the moment that mask came off, I mean, it was kind of symbolic,

in a way, like a return to a former character.

Stop him, JR!

Oh, no, don't. Stop him! Stop him!

Triple H, look out!

God, he just took Halsey's hand off.

The champion now has been decimated.

Good God, this is a piercing sprawl between Foley and Helmsley.

There he's got the mask again!

Oh, look!

The Wreck!

To start a war here, will he be able to finish it?

The war between these two has just escalated.

When Mick Foley pulled that mask off,

to me, that was the change of,

okay, I'm not happy-go-lucky mankind anymore.

My character had just stepped over his threshold,

and I'd crossed the line now, and, you know,

the **** was on.

Triple H reacted as if he'd seen a ghost.

I mean, it was clear at the end of that match

that something special had happened.

And those special qualities kind of continued next week,

and what, to me, was one of the greatest pieces of business,

as JR might say, could have taken place, at least in my career.

I mean, it was the classic...

...angle.

Triple H...

How much more do you want from me?

First, you take away my job.

Then you bring this idiot out there,

and you take away my dignity.

Then, Monday night, you take me,

and you ruin my face.

And I'll be honest, you are the best

in the business right now

because you are, without a doubt, the game.

So it saddens me to say

that after the beating you gave me on Monday night,

one thing mankind is not

is ready to face you in a street fight

at the Royal Rumble in Madison Square Garden.

But I think the WWF fans

deserve a substitute in that match.

What I'm gonna do, Triple H,

is I'm gonna name him right now. As a matter of fact,

I think you know the guy.

And I think you know him pretty damn well.

His name is Cactus Jack.

And his first official act

as part of the WWF

is to kick your teeth all over the city of Chicago.

And I think you know him pretty damn well.

His first official act as part of the WWF

is to kick your teeth all over the city of Chicago.

To me, this was the pivotal part of the whole scenario

because when I took off that shirt

to reveal Cactus Jack underneath,

really all I'd done was remove my shirt.

I mean, all Triple H had to do when he looked at me was go...

And we would have been done.

Cactus Jack, a myth.

In 10 seconds with a facial expression,

I created this mythological being.

To me, Cactus Jack was this mythological being.

I just reacted to him.

I don't regret a single night in the $10 motels.

I do not regret a single freezing night

in the back of a 78 Ford Fairmont.

I do not regret my wounds sticking to the sheets.

I do not regret the ear that was cut off from my head

and thrown out in a garbage can

because it's all those things, Triple H,

that made me what I am.

And what I am is one bad son of a bitch.

Oh, my God.

And what a Royal Rumble this Sunday is gonna be.

And this Sunday night, what I will be is one mad son of a bitch,

and I will be looking to take it all out on your ass.

I think a lot of people questioned maybe my toughness,

maybe what lengths I would go to to maintain that title

or to continue to be on top.

So they were important matches to me, you know,

to go up against the ultimate legend of hardcore

and of that toughness

and to try to beat him at his own game.

My daughter is 6 years old.

My son is only 7,

and they did suffer enough at last year's Royal Rumble,

and they don't need to see anymore.

So they will not be in New York City at Madison Square Garden.

And they will not be sitting in front of the television set.

But you've got one thing wrong.

You see, I'm not worried about them seeing what happens to me.

I am deeply disturbed by them seeing what I will do to you.

Oh, my God.

What's he talking about?

Triple H, I don't want their little innocent eyes

to realize how violent their dad can be.

Look at the look in his eyes, King.

He's sick.

I don't want their innocent little eyes

to look at the bloodshed which will surely take place.

And above all else, I don't want them to look into their dad's eyes

and realize as the blood drips down your face

that deep down inside their dear sweet dad will be loving it.

That's telling me now you're going to get to see Cactus Jack.

Now, okay, you want to do that?

Now you go to Cactus Jack.

Now you get the guy that does barbed wire.

Now you get the guy that wrestles in thumbtacks.

Now you get the guy that's the king of the death match in Japan.

Now you get the guy that's been in exploding C4 matches in Japan,

the guy that's done it all, the guy with the ear missing,

the guy that did all that stuff.

Mankind can claim all those things,

but Cactus Jack's the guy that did them all.

It's kind of weird because you're talking about the same person,

but you're not.

The idea was that I felt I could be that mythical creature

for one or two big matches.

So I was taken off the road.

I didn't wrestle on TV.

And instead, through a series of interviews, we created a mythical creature.

And by the time Royal Rumble came, people believed in him, too.

When I walked down that aisle at Madison Square Garden,

I have to remember this is the same place that I used to come to as a teenager,

the same place I saw Jimmy Snuka jump off the top of a cage,

a move that really kind of gave me a dream to aspire to.

I had a lot of things going through my mind.

I was under a lot of pressure.

I felt like I'd trained hard for this match.

Believe it or not, I dropped quite a bit of weight,

and I felt like I was in shape.

But there were the intangibles.

There was the fact that I was trying to prove to myself

that I still could have it one last time.

I wanted to prove to the WWF that I was a main event performer.

And Triple H had something to prove as well.

He was trying to show people first and foremost,

I think he really loved being in that position,

that it was him and Cactus Jack.

I believe he really respected the Cactus Jack aura.

And Triple H's champion wanted to prove that he could draw money-wise

with people other than Stone Cold and The Rock.

And so I think you basically saw the result of two men on a mission.

The match started with some serious jawjacking with Hunter,

and it really was going through my mind.

His cologne was just unbelievable,

and I was asking him where I could get a bottle of it.

And when I didn't like his answer, punches followed.

Here we go.

I don't know what Cactus Jack had to say to the champion,

but the talking has stopped.

The action has begun,

and the street fight for the WWF title is underway.

This could end up being anywhere in this arena.

No hoes barred.

Anything is legal.

There must be a winner in this matchup.

Ring bell!

And just nailed Cactus Jack with a ring bell right between the eyes.

When I walked through that curtain, now I'm Triple H,

and when he walks through that curtain, he's Cactus Jack.

And from that moment on, we were going to beat the shit out of each other.

We know we're going to beat the shit out of each other.

We've already told each other in the back, sorry.

You know?

She says, I apologize to you, you apologize to me.

Let's just do it.

Oh, God!

And a shot right to the skull.

A shot right to the skull by The Game.

The Dislevel of the Challenger.

Cactus Jack is down from a foul tear shot right between his eyes.

Game, look at this!

Cactus is getting up.

He's up!

And came back with a clothesline,

and now Cactus Jack has got a steel chair.

A prone Triple H on the canvas.

Driving right through the steel chair, driving it right into the face of the champion.

The Challenger's got the cover and a deer ball.

This is Cactus Jack's environment.

These are Cactus Jack's rules.

Cactus Jack's arena.

These are Cactus Jack's fans.

Triple H back drive right into the concrete floor.

They're fighting right through the fans here, right through the people.

I remember a long time ago, an old timer telling me,

you know when you make a lot of money in this business, kid, when you learn how to hate.

This is all legal right in those stack of bricks there.

At one point, we were fighting up the aisle at Madison Square Garden,

and I gave Triple H a suplex on a wooden pallet.

Wait a minute!

Triple H's spine just bounced off those wooden pallets.

He took the suplex, he had landed on the pallet with his calf,

and a big shard of wood basically stabbed him in the calf and put a hole in him,

and he began bleeding from that part of his body.

He was almost like he was in shock for a minute,

and he had to regain his bearings, which is a testament to him as a performer,

and we went on as if nothing had happened.

I lost a lot of blood.

I mean that was a violent, brutal match, but I loved every second of it.

I know he did, too.

Cactus Jack enjoys his punishment and dishing out this pain.

He loves to dishing out, he loves to take it, too.

Oh, no, don't do that!

Baby! Baby!

Yeah!

Well, I know it's a street fight, but this is going a little bit too far.

You're not lying.

The referee trying to stop Cactus from using that barb barb.

Now, Triple H has got it.

Use it!

Most of the time when I bring out dangerous objects, they backfire on me.

No!

A barb wire to the abdomen!

A barb wire to the back!

Can you imagine what that feels like?

The game's introducing it to Cactus Jack!

No, don't do it!

Cactus Jack with the right hand.

Uh-oh!

A little blow there.

Referee's taking that barb wire out of here.

Cactus Jack is confronting the referee.

He wants to know where that 2x4 and where that barb wire is.

Wait a minute!

Cactus, don't do that!

Cactus has got the barb wire back!

Get it!

Come on, Cactus, don't!

Look out!

And Triple H took out the...

No!

He hit him in the face!

My God!

My God, Cactus has hit Triple H right in the face with barb wire!

With barb wire to another human being's face!

We built each other up and built the hype up for that match so big

that we were a little bit scared going into it that how the hell are we going to follow this hype?

You know, how do you deliver on something you've created this big of an image of?

Cactus, the title's not worth this!

Look out!

Just throw the barb wire!

Oh, my God!

And the champion is busted open!

He ripped his nose off!

We've got a new champion!

It's not over!

My God!

Triple H was able to get the shoulder up!

Oh, look at that!

He's ripped the shreds!

How did he kick out of that?

He's truly the...

Oh, my gosh!

Cactus has got the barb wire on the back!

Look out!

Two by four, another stomp to the face!

Cactus Jack is enjoying this!

Oh, my God!

Get out of there!

Go to the hospital!

Oh, no!

Oh, not that!

My God!

That barb wire is grating on the face of Hemsley!

Ripping out his face!

This has got to be stopped!

Something's got to be done to Cactus Jack!

It's a Street Fight King.

You know it can't be stopped.

Street Fight rules mean these two men have a license to maim.

And that's exactly what we're seeing here.

This is carnage!

Good God!

Triple H is a bloody mess on our table here.

This is real bad, J.R.

Come on, Cactus!

Don't do it!

Cactus has got to pound Ryan Triple!

Oh, no!

Good God!

I never thought it would be anything like this.

And we said it was going to be a night that we'd never forget.

You don't want to see anybody get...

so that they can't walk out when they do leave.

And it's scary for everybody.

These men are a bloody mess!

Triple H is bleeding from his legs!

He's bleeding from his face!

You've got to give credit to Triple H.

How is he still standing?

Much less still fighting this battle.

I'm giving him credit for both these guys.

And Triple H's going for his pedigree.

A Cactus Jack.

And he went to counter.

And Cactus Hemsley.

Face first into the top turnbuckle.

Oh, no!

Triple H's face just got mashed into that barbed wire.

One more time.

There's a cover.

It's got to be over.

It's got to be...

My God, I can't believe it.

Triple H's got a shoulder up.

And that barbed wire is still in the ring.

I don't think I've ever seen any title match

anywhere quite like this.

And Cactus Jack with that running clothesline

taking Triple H over the top to the floor.

Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

Yeah, but has Triple H lost so much blood

that he won't be able to capitalize on it.

And oh, God Almighty!

For the love of God!

And I don't care how tough you are.

If you can't stand, you're gonna have a hell of a time winning a fight.

Yeah, but how is Triple H able to stand?

Where's he getting the strength?

Well, he's a stud.

There's no doubt about it.

But so far, it's still not been enough to put Cactus Jack away.

Cactus Jack having a hard time standing.

Triple H pulls himself up

and takes Cactus right back down with a top lock.

Oh, look. Look at this.

Oh, no.

Triple H has got the barbed wire.

The two by four wrapped in barbed wire.

And right across the leg of Cactus Jack.

Two by four is bad enough, but wrapped in barbed wire is heinous.

Again! He's gotta be ripping his leg to pieces.

But you should see Triple H's leg.

Triple H is gonna need a lot of stitches when this one's all said and done.

I can guarantee you that.

Triple H is staggering out here.

What's this?

And he just grabbed something from Finkle.

By God, it's handcuffs.

Handcuffs?

Can't you remember last year at the Royal Rumble?

Then it was mankind getting handcuffed.

Oh, he's trying to block it.

And Cactus Jack fighting back.

And now Cactus using those handcuffs as a weapon,

wrapping the chain around his fist.

Further busted.

Triple H wide open.

And Triple H went right back down to the knees,

taking Cactus Jack down.

Here we go, got him!

By God, this is horrible.

Cactus won't be able to defend himself.

Yeah, and you know what that means, don't you, JR?

It means as bad as this has been for now,

it's basically gonna get a lot worse.

We are going to another level.

With Cactus Jack handcuffed.

He's helpless.

He can do anything.

It's a human punching bag.

Triple H has lost so much blood.

But now he has Cactus Jack,

where the champion wanted the challenger all along.

Triple H now bringing the steel steps into the ring.

What's he gonna do with those?

Cactus Jack, the challenger, is helpless

with his hands handcuffed behind him.

This is legal, but I can't believe that-

No, no!

Oh!

Cactus Jack to the front!

Triple H's face melts right off the steps.

Oh!

Cactus Jack has no use for his hands.

They're handcuffed behind him.

Oh, no!

And a low blow.

He's biting him!

He's biting him!

Get him off of that ramp!

He's trying to bite his ear off!

I think Cactus is going for Triple H's ear.

Look at him!

And Triple H's right back up.

Knocks Cactus down with a clothesline.

He found him!

He found him like a railroad spine!

Don't do that!

Yes!

Oh!

This is what happened last year in the Royal Rumble.

And Cactus Jack just broke a steel chair

over the spine of the challenger.

And a piece of that steel just went flying.

Look, Cactus Jack is running.

Oh, no.

He's trying to run down that alleyway.

He's trying to leave.

I don't think so.

Oh!

Cactus another shot.

And look at this.

My God, look at Cactus.

Look at Cactus.

He said, you got any more?

Hit me!

Cactus just said, have you got any more?

Is that all you got?

Hit me again!

I was handcuffed and helpless.

And it looked like somebody was looking out for me.

Because the Rock came down and kind of saved the day.

Well, there's a cop there.

He's unlocking him!

The Rock came out of nowhere to level Triple H with a steel chair.

And now Triple H is being hammered with right hands by Cactus Jack.

Watch yourself, JR.

They're coming this way again.

That looks like a war zone out here.

Triple H on our Spanish announced table.

This could be career ending right here.

Referee, don't let him do it!

Oh, God!

The pile driver!

But the table didn't give!

And Hiltz's head bounced right off the wood.

Triple H barely able to stand.

Uh-oh.

What is that?

What the hell is that?

Sandbag.

He hit him over the head with a sandbag.

I don't know.

I don't think it is.

Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

It's thumbtacks!

It's thousands of thumbtacks!

Oh, no!

Look who's here!

Stephanie McMahon is here!

Trying to stop this thing!

The game dangerously close to those thousands of thumbtacks on the canvas.

JRFB falls into those tacks.

Look at that!

No!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Cactus Jack is a human pincushion!

Oh!

Look at the tacks all over his body!

For the love of God, Triple H trying to...

Oh, Pedigree!

The Pedigree!

That's gotta be over!

Nobody gets done for the Pedigree!

Cactus kicked out!

Cactus kicked out!

My God!

I don't believe it!

Triple H is...

It's incredulous!

He can't believe Cactus kicked out of the Pedigree!

Look at that!

And then finally, Tim comes up!

It matters just by God!

Oh, no!

No!

Not the tacks!

The second Pedigree!

On the front tacks!

That's it!

Got him!

My God!

My God, it's over!

My God, it's over!

Have you ever in your life seen anything like that, JR?

I have never witnessed a championship match anywhere at any time in 25 years like we have

here tonight!

The thumbtacks have been driven right into the skull of Cactus Jack!

We need a lot of medical help here for both these men.

Their relationship's gonna need a blood transfusion, no doubt about that.

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Cactus Jack is trying to get his hands back on Hemsley!

Wait!

He's pushing the gate!

Oh, my God!

He's bringing him back out here!

No!

This war for the WWF title is not over!

My God, their bodies have been ravaged, but they continue to fight here!

He's got the barbed wire again!

Cactus has got the barbed wire again!

Oh!

And right in Hemsley's face, Cactus Jack with the barbed wire!

Her husband has been ravaged.

Cactus Jack has left the WWF champion a bloody, quivering mess in what has to be the damnedest

WWF title match that any of us have ever witnessed!

It was vicious, but to me it was vicious in a beautiful, artsy type of way.

And anytime I've had these type of matches, I saw it as a very bizarre art form.

And when it was done right, it could be beautiful.

And this night in Madison Square Garden, I think it was a thing of beauty.

It wasn't just thumbtacks for the sake of thumbtacks or barbed wire for the sake of

barbed wire.

We still told you a story, we still took you on an incredible ride, but we did it in the

most violent possible way.

And, you know, that's one of my proudest moments in this business.

I felt like it was a great match.

I mean, one of the best I'd ever been in.

I felt like I was almost at my best, and I felt like Triple H was probably the best he's

ever been.

And that's really saying something because the guys had some tremendous matches.

How Cactus Jack is standing, I'll never know.

Thumbtacks all in his body.

Some still sticking there, even in his head.

They're all over him!

I mean, it was like a hideous sight, but it was actually a tremendous feeling despite

the pain because I knew that I had done what I set out to do, and that is give people a

look at the guy that I wanted to be.

You know, it's nice that everyone laughed at my stuff, and I'm very proud of what I've

done as a humorous person.

But I wanted to give the fans around the world, you know, one last look at Cactus Jack.

So Triple H, with all due respect, you showed the world you are the WWF champion, and you

proved you are the game.

That's right.

The game took it up a notch, up several notches.

The game took it to a new level, Michael.

But I proved that it doesn't really matter whether you win or lose.

It's how you maim the game.

Did he say maim the game?

That's what he said.

You see, Triple H, you made some predictions, and the only halfway came true.

You said my blood was going to stay in New York City.

Well, there was blood, and it did stay in New York, but it sure as hell wasn't mine.

I'm the kind of guy that leaves that arena and thinks from the time I leave there to

the time I get to that hotel about the business, and until I go to sleep, I think about the

business, and when I wake up, I'm thinking about the business.

I go to a movie, I'm watching a movie, I'm thinking, how can I turn that into an angle

in our business?

You know what I mean?

I obsess about the business, sometimes too much.

Cactus, you do make me sick.

You make me want to puke.

And as a matter of fact, my patience is starting to wear very thin of this whole situation,

but yet you're still out here in my face.

Well, it's time to put this matter to rest.

This has gone on too long.

It's time to finish it once and for all.

So what I propose, Cactus Jack, is that one more time, you and me, and no way out.

One more time, but this is it.

Your last shot at me, your last shot at the WWF title.

It is a perverse, vile, diabolical structure.

Satanic.

It is custom built for injury.

Custom built for injury.

It's 20 feet high.

The most ominous structure ever erected.

The pain that these two men are preparing to endure is inhuman.

This is truly hell in a cell.

Hell in a cell.

In a cell.

Cactus.

No way out.

You and me.

You can have any type of match you want.

Hell in a cell.

Oh my God.

But I want your career on the line.

Who put your title on the line?

You got a deal.

The game will meet Cactus Jack.

Hell in a cell.

And Cactus must win.

The WWF Power Cactus career is over.

I'm looking through hell in a cell.

And I will go on to WrestleMania because it's meant to be.

My dream, Cactus Jack, is to be in the World Wrestling Federation.

Without you in it, I will guarantee that I will go up to the top of the cage and fly off.

But it won't be a damn table.

I'll crash through hell in a cell.

It will be your body.

I will end your 15 year career.

And it will be over.

Hell in a cell will be the damnedest thing you've ever seen.

This is the war.

The war.

You know, we had a big legacy to live up to.

Not just the Royal Rumble from the month before.

But the hell in a cell that I had been in with The Undertaker.

Which was kind of a benchmark in brutality.

And some people think it was the greatest match they ever saw.

I disagree, but it very well may have been the most emotional match they ever saw.

And to try to live up to that was going to take some doing.

When I stepped down that aisle and into the ring, I had every reason to believe it would be for the last time.

I didn't think my chances were good at winning, if you know what I mean.

The match really picked up when I did a variation on the catapult move.

Which honestly is one of the sillier moves in wrestling.

But performed the way it was that night.

Triple H just went speeding into the cage.

It didn't help that it opened him up a little bit.

And now I was in hot pursuit.

But I followed Triple H around.

I put him down on the ground.

I mounted the second rope for my big elbow.

And the funny thing happened when I dropped that big elbow.

If we could slow mow it for a second and look real closely at my nose area.

I basically broke my own nose while dropping an elbow on Triple H.

It's a good thing his nose didn't break or we both may have drowned.

But anyway, I picked up the stairs.

And I was trying to get some retribution on Triple H for what he had done with the stairs.

To me earlier it had really done a number on me.

A really impressive looking move.

And Triple H moved out of the way.

And the stairs took out the side of the cell a little quicker than I was hoping.

I was hoping to have to work on that side.

But people, they could detect the aroma of my culinary efforts.

They would smell what I was cooking to put it another way.

To rip off another phrase.

And we went outside and business was about to pick up.

Because I got a barbed wire instrument which fans at every reason would believe this thing would backfire on me.

And eventually it would.

But I was able to get a couple shots in on Triple H.

Triple H tried to retreat.

Now keep in mind he's looking at a guy who was the slowest kid at Ward Meadowville High School.

Even before 15 years of knee and back injuries.

But instead of running away he decides to climb up to the top of the cage in which I follow.

And when I followed I paid the price.

And I went through that table.

It's funny because I'd done the same move one other time before.

And I very little remembered Hell in the Cell.

And we've got exclusive footage here.

It's mankind against Kane.

And look what happens when I try to land on this table.

What happens is only the bottom part of my butt cheeks hit the table.

The rest of the fall was taken squarely on the back of my neck and head.

And the funny thing is everybody remembers the fall off the cage with Undertaker and Mick Foley from Hell in the Cell in June of 98.

But a couple months later I took a fall that hurt me a great deal more that nobody remembers.

But on this night fortunately the table was there to accept my 290 pounds of my body.

I regrouped and I climbed back up for what was to me one of the great finishes in wrestling history.

I not only regained possession of the barbed wire 2x4 but I lit the son of a bitch on fire.

And I don't usually say bad words but that's what it was.

It was a son of a bitch.

And it was just an amazing reaction.

I hit Hunter with a shot, not a good quality shot but as far as shots go with barbed wire boards that are on fire I think it was right up there at the top.

Put the flaming instrument down, went for the universal signal for the piledriver, just let everybody know what was going on.

And when I did Triple H backdrop me and I hit the cage and it gave way.

Not in the same way the cage did a year and a half before but in a positive way.

And I hit the mat and somebody thought the crowd was chanting Foley's dead, Foley's dead when they were really chanting Holy S.A.T.

I kind of used up my bad word quota with the son of a bitch phrase.

And they were chanting that because it was such an unexpected moment.

And Triple H came down for the easy pinfall and saw me moving.

And it was like classic Triple H, like jeez how do you kill this guy?

Can he be stopped?

And he then gave me the pedigree.

And my career was over and I got up and I walked out.

If you're not standing at home right now, if you're not standing up front of your television,

again with this man standing ovation, where's your heart?

Where's your love of the game?

And I ain't talking about Triple H.

Got us looking for the last time.

The final farewells to all his fans.

Thanks to the game, Mick Foley's career is over.

Most people have loved Mick Foley for 15 years, but I hope you can hear what we're hearing.

I hope you can see what we're seeing.

Standing ovation for Mick Foley, who has taken his final walk from the World Wrestling Federation Marine.

Goodbye, my friend.

That's a goodbye.

And it's a funny thing because, you know, wrestling business is a strange mixture of reality and fantasy.

But when I turned around to face the crowd and there were tears in my eyes, those tears, they were real.

It was real emotion and it was really one hell of a match and a great way to end a career.

Every day I get to look at myself and say I'm the guy that had some of the greatest matches

in the history of this business with Mick Foley and I'm the guy that put him out of the business.

And when you look at how big of a star and how big of a legend a guy like Mick Foley, Cactus Jack is in this business,

that's just an incredible feeling and an incredible honor.

All right, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, well, that wasn't your last match, Mick.

No, it wasn't, but I swear to you, I thought it was.

When I gave a call to WWF to ask what I'd be doing at WrestleMania weekend, you know,

I thought for sure I'd be part of the Fan Access Week because I intended to be part of WWF just not as a wrestler.

And I was hit by surprise by finding out that they wanted me to be in the main event at WrestleMania.

So I showed up with my first real haircut in about 16 years and I was worried that fans were going to be booing me

because I went back on my word and instead I swear I got the biggest reaction of my life.

So there was a minority of people who saw me as a lying hypocrite and there were an awful lot of people who were glad just to have me back.

But I look at it this way, what kind of a guy shows up 20 pounds heavier in a single month for the biggest match of the year?

And it's a guy who in his mind has already retired.

So it wasn't a bad match by any means, but it wasn't up there, couldn't touch the Royal Rumbler, no way out.

And I just want to draw your attention to one simple move that sums up the whole night for me.

I mounted the second rope. The rock was laying on a table.

It was eerily reminiscent of a scene that took place about 16 months earlier at the Survivor Series of 98 with Mankind and the Rock.

Now watch in slow motion Mankind taking off in 98.

The Rock moving out of the way, Mankind's knee slams into the corner of that desk, dislocates his kneecap, tears his meniscus,

and sets forth a series of events that saw my physical health rapidly deteriorating.

But at least I made the table.

Now, the year 2000, April 2nd, WrestleMania.

Look at Foley go, whoa, does he have no spring in those steps?

I think Captain Ahab had more spring in his leg than I did that night.

So 16 months had passed and I ended up falling four feet short and really almost crushing my sternum.

I mean, I thought the thing was broken. I could barely breathe.

I was just gasping for air. And as I'm laying in an unbelievable amount of pain, clutching my sternum, hardly able to breathe,

the only thought that was going through my mind was, I don't think I'm going to make it to Disneyland tomorrow.

But I'll tell you what, that night I went to bed with an ice pack on my chest,

water dripping down both sides as it melted away.

The next morning I woke up and I had somehow managed to summon the guts, the pride,

and the testicular fortitude to make it to Disneyland because I'm Mick Foley and I'm a legend.

Okay, okay, that's enough of the serious stuff. We've seen the hard knocks.

Now let's take a look at the cheap pops because the Commissionary position was about to begin for Mick Foley.

I shaved my head in an effort to kind of hide myself from the world.

So imagine my surprise a few days later when I received a call from Linda McMahon asking me to come in and meet with her.

And I left that meeting as the new Commissioner of the WWF.

Mick Foley!

Mick Foley! Mick Foley, the new Commissioner! I don't believe it!

I wasn't informed of this! Now look at that haircut!

I've done this before! I'm retired! I've done this before!

He has retired as an active competitor, but apparently Mick Foley is still the new Commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation.

So now here we are in Worcester, Massachusetts. Right here in Worcester, Massachusetts.

And Triple H decides to call me on that.

He decides to make fun of the fact that I get cheap pops in every town I go to.

Right here, as you like to say, to get a cheap pop all the time in Worcester, Massachusetts.

And it was kind of funny. It was just a spontaneous thing that when I finally had a chance to address the crowd in Worcester that I called attention to the obvious.

Tonight, in this very ring, in Worcester, Massachusetts.

There's a big cheesy thumbs up and I'm out of the head.

And I really had myself the makings of my first really successful catchphrase.

But as much as I'd like to get a cheap pop by simply going bang bang in Worcester, Massachusetts. In Orlando, Florida.

It is definitely great to be back in Albany, New York. Right here in Austin, Texas.

Here in Madison Square Garden in beautiful New York, New York. In Providence, Rhode Island. Right here in Lafayette, Louisiana.

Right here in Greensboro, North Carolina.

In Lexington, Kentucky. In Phoenix, Arizona.

We are not in Brooklyn tonight, are we?

No indeed, we happen to be right here in Long Island, New York.

And I, better than anybody, would understand that having grown up right here in Long Island, New York.

My first day there, I had a chance to do a couple of interviews with a couple of up and coming young superstars.

Who I not only respected, but liked personally. And I thought they had a lot of great potential.

This was Edge and Christian. And nobody knew what was going to happen when that camera went on.

Nobody knew this was going to be the birth of what has become known backstage as Kregley, Christian Edge and Foley.

And it was great stuff.

People talk to me about my greatest moment in the WWF.

A lot of people would assume it was a hardcore match or maybe some really devastating, serious promo I gave.

It was actually a little piece of business. A little piece of business, as JR would say.

But I wasn't even a part of it. I wanted to be a part of it. It was the Kurt Angle birthday party.

It's Edge's birthday and Stephanie said we could celebrate in here.

Since the game's here, why don't we play some?

I lobbied hard to get in on that party because I thought I should be hanging out in the background.

Oh, scissors totally cuts paper.

I even had an idea of you hiding behind the couch and coming up with Socko.

That would have been most excellent.

And singing happy birthday and then just leaving for no reason.

And leaving for no reason, right? We didn't have to explain it.

Look at this, kazoos and streamers.

Oh, streamers rule. Long live the stream.

Yeah, and long live the zoo.

But then I see the videotape and it's you guys and Kurt Angle wearing a birthday hat.

It's a little pointy hat.

Teletubbies.

Teletubbies hat.

Hey, listen to this. I'm going to play our music.

Do you think you know me? Do you think you know me?

Alright, get out.

And the kazoo.

That's where the kazoo started.

I can play your music too.

It's my time. It's my time.

Get out.

It's my time.

Get out.

For the first time we did something with you.

Remember that?

Was it magical?

Sodas rule.

Sodas rule.

Yeah, I don't know about you, but I'm a little thirsty.

Let me get old Commissioner Mick there to get us a couple sodas, huh?

I'm parched.

That's sodas rule.

Yeah, they do.

Yeah.

The thing was that was...

Mick just gave you sodas. Mick just gave you sodas. Mick just gave you soda. Mick just gave you soda.

That was even before I had an office.

And the deal was you guys were looking for your own dressing room.

Listen guys, I happen to be a three-time former WWF champion and a hardcore legend.

I never had my own dressing room.

Mick, you never change your clothes.

You're just wrestling what you're wearing.

That's a good point.

And what took place was truly magical.

I guess you guys didn't read the shirt.

Miss?

Miss who?

Maybe this will clear it up for you. Commissioner.

And I was kind of learning my own role as the commissioner.

I didn't know what the heck was a commercial supposed to do.

I was trying to like kind of channel the spirit of Sergeant Slaughter.

And you know what, if you notice, the little dog in the background of Commissioner Foley's office is named Sarge.

Speaking of Sarge, the little stuffed dog, the thing I remember him being in the most was in Anaheim.

And you, Commissioner Foley was a little upset trying to find out who ran over Austin.

And he was in the washing machine.

Going around and around while I was conducting.

I guess it was the dryer.

Around and around and we said we had to go to surfing lessons and it was 11 o'clock at night.

Mick, we got a bail. We got surfing lessons, okay?

We were in the ring and we had just been defeated for the tag team belts by the Conquistadors who ended up being the Conquista Hardys.

And one of my favorite lines that you ever said was,

Holy bustapalooza.

Total bustapalooza.

That was absolutely ridiculous.

I'll tell you what, I just had a flashback, our first on-camera incident was when Al Snow and I were hosting WWF's greatest hits.

Bet Edge is some athlete.

Look, the only reason you're saying that is because he laughs at your stupid jokes.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, Edge.

Edge, stir.

I got a new Al Snow joke for you.

All right.

How many Al Snow matches fill out a best of Al Snow tape?

You are such a crony.

None. There is no such thing.

I really, really hate you.

I hate you both.

Dallas, Texas was a good one, too.

More huking incident.

Oh, man, don't come here.

I'm totally harping in here.

I'm totally...

Oh, it's bad.

It's really bad.

Oh, God.

Wait a minute.

Hey, from my perch atop this journal, I can say that you guys are like so totally busted, man.

I think my favorite one is the one I think we've just commonly called the chicken segment.

It was, if you remember, it was another four-parter where you were trying to get double gold.

Double gold.

Woke up with a dream.

You had a dream.

You had an awesome dream.

Lionel Richie, say you, say me, 1984.

And I think I even footnoted Lionel Richie in 1984.

What about what I said?

I was wearing this shirt.

Isn't that right, Winnie?

You have a lot of his clothes.

Yeah, it's because you're full of poo.

Full burnage.

You made fun.

You said I was full of poo.

How much do you weigh?

I'm like 217.

You're lying.

You're lying.

Damn it.

Damn it.

We're not even trying to...

Busted.

Busted.

And so you basically had to sweat off a pound, and I convinced you that the best way to do

that was to shed water weight.

And you know what, medical science has determined that the quickest way to shed water weight

is with the use of a rubber suit.

Do you have one?

No, I don't.

But I do have this.

What's that?

And even though we didn't have a rubber suit, we had a chicken suit.

Get back here, mister.

Let me tell you about another man who had dreams of gold.

Olympic gold.

Kurt?

Kurt Angle.

And it's a suit that got him there.

And I convinced him that Kurt Angle had trained with the chicken suit for the 96 Olympics.

Which caused, once again, a useless cameo by Kurt Angle.

Hey, my chicken suit.

Yeah, 224.

The one that I got a kick out of is you guys coming in, and the commissioners had some

great offices, but one of my favorites was the women's bathroom.

How much is that doggy in the window?

Hey, Ed, it's Christian.

Come on in.

And part of the deal that we started establishing is that Commissioner Foley tries to tell jokes

and they get shot down by you guys.

Fine, if that's the way you want it, it's so going to be the shortest rain ever for the

Hardys.

Shortest rain, huh?

Yeah.

Then I guess they might need these.

The shortest umbrellas.

Short rain?

It's not funny.

You're a ricasoid, man.

I tell my joke, it doesn't get over, and at that point there was a Dutch swimmer named

Inge de Bruijn who was really sexy in a kind of like a really spacey, manly kind of way.

What'd you think, Inge?

I thought that was rather funny, Mr. Foley.

You're damn right it was.

She gave me a tip and I said, you're damn right it was.

Yeah.

And that was a good way to sum it all up, good stuff.

Good stuff.

That's right.

I also enjoyed the chemistry between Commissioner Foley, Triple H, and his lovely bride Stephanie

McManhelmsley.

Some people suggested, you know, be mean to Stephanie, you know, people like when you're

mean.

And I'm going to let you in on a little trade secret, the Foley secret, which is basically

set them up with kindness and then knock them down.

It works so much better.

So the secret with Stephanie would be to build her up and then knock her down.

Let's take a look.

Thank you for your sympathy.

You know, it's not very often that we all stand united in the same feeling, but I too

was concerned when The Rock laid you flat on your back with The Rock Bottom.

About time you showed some concern.

I think of all of us shared a concern for your welfare on Monday night.

No, I did.

So as WWF Commissioner and a representative of the people, I'd like to be the one to ask

you how your back is feeling.

It doesn't matter how your back is feeling.

I want your respect and deep down, Stephanie, I also want you to like me.

Oh boy, that's asking way too much.

Which is why when I was going through my closet, I found this shirt.

I also found these.

What is that?

And I decided that I would wear them because I know that you're attracted to men who wear

gold medals around their neck.

Now when I agreed to assume the Commissionary position, I had a certain kind of like hidden

agenda in mind and I'd heard all about the complaints and people worried about the WWF

content and personally I thought it was a little ridiculous because I happen to think

that what we do is kind of like a variety show and if you don't like the tightrope walker,

well chances are you'll like the 16 clowns piling out of a pinto.

But with that in mind, I decided that as Commissioner Mick Foley, seeing as how I wasn't

wrestling anymore and I didn't have to be the tough guy, that I was going to try to put

like a happy, goofy face on the WWF.

I decided that I was more or less going to be a role model for nerds because let's face

it, there are more of us out there than there are them.

Commissioner, da da da da da da, and that's final.

Come in.

It's my move in.

The most accurate move indeed.

What the heck?

Hardcore legend coming through.

Daz, I am your father.

Hit me baby one more time.

And that is final.

Sorry Pat, I gotta go.

Commissioner.

Now in the past, when WWF superstars were angry with their commissioners, they'd beat

them up.

I mean, Sergeant Slaughter took a heck of a pounding.

Vince was the owner of the company.

He used to get beaten up as well.

And I needed to address this situation.

I mean, I didn't want to be getting in the ring and I certainly didn't want to be getting

beaten up.

And so I tried to, in a realistic fashion, explain to the WWF wrestlers why I wouldn't

tolerate being beaten up.

And I think what you're about to look at may be the greatest serious interview ever cut

inside a small cage while riding on top of a riding lawn mower.

Hey, I want Jericho.

I want him tonight.

And I'll tell you what, if you don't make it, she's a McMahon still.

We'll just make it ourselves.

I guess you don't understand.

With Daddy away being the genetic jackhammer in Greenwich, as disgusting as that might

sound, Linda McMahon has bestowed her authority upon me, which means I make the matches, not

you, and your days of screwing around with people are pretty much through.

I tell you what, then, how about I just beat your ass until you give me the match?

You want to take me out?

Oh, yeah.

Go ahead.

Each punch will cost you five grand.

Each punch five grand?

Five grand a punch.

Steph, get my wallet.

This is going to be expensive.

Go ahead, Triple H. And when I get up, it won't just be your wallet.

I heard it will be your pride.

Do you understand me?

I want you on our shows because you are that damn good, and I want that match with Jericho

that's fully loaded because it will be that damn good.

But as good as you are, as much as I want you, I do not need you.

You are not bigger than the WWF, and you're not bigger than me.

You take one punch, and when I get up, I'll make damn sure your days of main event are

over.

Do you understand me?

I will book you at every circus and sideshow in this country.

I will book you in gymnasiums.

Nobody will know who you are.

So I guess, for better or worse, I'm the voice of authority in the WWF and ran into a little

trouble when I met an old friend who didn't like listening to authority.

Stone Cold Steve Austin, I understand that you have yourself a little problem with authority

figures.

I understand you got run over by an automobile.

I understand you're a little bit fucked up.

You're free to conduct your investigation any way you see fit.

But I need to have your word on this matter.

And that word is, you will not interfere in matches again.

And wait, there's Stone Cold.

What?

That's the daughter of the good father.

No.

That's the daughter of Bull Newkin.

He's done the unpardonable.

Mr. Mick Foley warned the Rattlesnake earlier.

You'll see what Bulley's gonna do now.

You don't really leave me much of a choice, but either fine you or suspend you from the

WWF.

So as the commissioner of the WWF, what I've decided to do-

Oh, Austin has decided to do is to stun the commissioner from not staying Stone Cold.

What are you thinking?

Do it!

You know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking if it was anybody else interfering in matches, they'd be gone and out of the

WWF.

I'm also thinking about 1991 and 1992, Steve Austin and Mick Foley splitting a $20 room

to save a few bucks, riding in a little crap box car to save a few bucks.

So I'm thinking maybe I'll just try to save face with the boys.

Maybe I'll give Steve Austin a little fine, a little slap on the wrist, thinking by this

point in your life, you've saved enough money that no matter fine I give you, it's gonna

mean a damn anyway.

But then what you did, Steve, you went and you put your hands on me.

And all of a sudden my decision changed because you left me no other alternative but starting

now until we find out who ran you over to suspend you indefinitely.

No!

Whoa!

He's gone!

That's as good as being fired right there.

You're suspended, Austin!

You're out of here!

Definitely.

It's in.

It's history.

You one time stoned cold Steve Austin to Mick Foley to reconsider.

Reconsider?

Is his decision final?

What can he do?

When I said that you left me no alternative, that was my answer.

The answer is no.

Oh my gosh.

And when you said no, you left stoned cold Steve Austin no alternative.

Oh no!

Stunner!

Another stunner to Commissioner Foley from the Rattlesnake.

Well, he's got nothing to lose, Michael.

He's gone.

He's history.

He's out of here.

People were bullying me.

They were actually bullying me, the commissioner.

And I think it was rumored.

It definitely was rumored that I was going to become a bad guy.

And I actually had to call up, you know, my superiors and say, I'm not a bad guy now,

am I?

And there's one problem with being bad.

This world needs bad guys just like it needs good guys.

But I just don't have it physically to be bad.

And in my heart, I don't feel bad anymore.

I mean, part of what made me an effective heel, as they say,

is that I was able to take shreds of truth and turn them into my character.

And I don't have anything to be angry about anymore.

I'm happy.

I have the easiest job in the world.

And not only have I written a number one bestselling autobiography,

but I'm also a beloved children's author.

So I don't think you're going to see Mick Foley turning bad anytime soon.

I was on a plane, and I suddenly had an idea.

I thought back to a meeting I'd had with a little boy who had been burned.

And he had had a chance to meet a lot of the wrestlers.

And the thing that struck me about this little kid,

even though he had quite a bit of scars from the accident,

is that he had a wonderful little smile.

The king has since met the little guy.

I just kept thinking about him and how he could embody the true spirit of Christmas.

And in the story, not to say the story is overly sentimental,

but in the story he is the little guy that puts the spirit of Christmas

into a broken-hearted Santa Claus.

But not to worry, there's plenty of naked elves, right?

Cursing elves.

Santa getting mooned.

There's all sorts of it.

It's a Christmas story with attitude, just like the World Wrestling Federation.

Definitely.

Not only was the publisher taking my word for it that I could write a children's story,

when I said, they said, well, who's Barry Lawler?

I said, Barry Lawler.

I said, do you have any samples?

No.

I think he did a great job.

Unfortunately, the book was written when I still had a lot of hair,

so I hope it doesn't appear dated there.

And the cool thing about that was, I mean, I was under no pressure either.

I mean, Mick didn't like come to me and say, hey, draw me in the book.

I mean, that was never even mentioned.

But I just felt that, you know, Mick being the author,

and a best-selling author, of course, enough from the past,

that it was a natural that he'd be in it.

And also, there's pictures or drawings of not only Mick,

but there's the rock, and gosh, too cool.

Even myself is in there somewhere.

I didn't do a self-portrait.

And I noticed that all the pictures are outstanding,

but the king's self-portrait is just a little bit better.

I actually did that with oil paint, the rest of my markers.

No, I've been basically a holiday lover in general.

Christmas is my favorite, but I love Halloween.

As you've said, I'm dressed for Halloween today.

I wonder why the spirit of Halloween can't remain with us all year round.

I eat candy all year round.

There you go.

So, you know what?

We could come up with maybe next year a nice Halloween book.

I'd love to do that kind of artwork.

Yeah, that'd be wonderful.

Yeah, it'd be wonderful.

Can I be in it?

You've got to write it.

What do you think can you be in it?

I think the only reason I'd even wrestle for 15 years

and even did the memoir is so that I could be in a spot

where I could be telling America's foremost beloved authors

children's Christmas stories.

It feels good.

You're the next Mark Twain or something like that, aren't you?

Who is he?

Oh, I don't know.

There are lots of good reasons why you should resign here tonight,

but think about the kind of commissioner you've been,

just because you were willing to throw your body into reckless abandon.

You can't expect other superstars to do the same.

This has been a hellacious job for you, Mick Foley.

You didn't really know what you were getting into, your family, Mick.

When you retired from the squared circle,

that was supposed to be the time you spent with your family, all those lost years.

And you weren't there for your children when they were growing up.

This was the time, Mick.

You've always been a man of your word.

That's why, Mick Foley, I expect you to live up to your word, Mick Foley.

Vince wants him to sign the resignation.

Just sign it.

Sign it.

Sign it.

Sign it, Mick.

Damn it, I said sign it!

I may sign your letter of resignation.

Then again, I may not.

The European Champion, William Regal, I don't get this at all.

And I know that I speak for each and every one of the WWF superstars,

and I even speak for Stone Cold Steve Austin himself.

We require that you resign effective immediately.

And nobody speaks to the real estate but the real estate.

If you want Mick Foley to tear this resignation into little bitty pieces

and shove them up fences and remain the World Wrestling Federation commissioner,

give me a hell yeah!

Whoa!

Austin!

Look out!

For the star of William Regal!

No, look out!

The powders have gone!

Austin's gone for good!

No, no!

Mr. McMahon in the crosshairs!

Use your cane!

Of the real estate!

Come on!

Away from behind!

Look out, Vince, behind you!

It's that stinky, smelly dog!

Mick Foley with Sockhole and the Miracle Claw on the owner of the company!

No!

No!

Oh my God!

That is not what McMahon wanted!

No, don't you do it, Foley, don't!

No!

Foley's tearing up the Wrestling Nation!

What will Mr. McMahon do now?

Oh!

It's McMahon and her name on tag is Mick Foley the commissioner!

Good God Almighty, Mick was assaulted and look at Mick coming back!

Foley's hitting Vince!

Uh-oh!

Mick reaching way down deep pulling out Sockhole!

Look out, Vince!

No!

No!

The Miracle Claw!

Another steel chair!

Hey, wait a minute, here comes the ancient Christian!

No, don't!

Oh, for God's sake!

The contento!

A double tear shot on Mick Foley's head!

Mick Foley, you're fired!

Look out!

Oh, God!

Mick Foley's been fired!

He's been busted open!

Mick Foley, Merry Christmas!

People ask me quite often how I want to be remembered and I've got a reputation, I guess

even a name, as being the hardcore legend.

The truth is that's not how I want to be remembered, not for Hell in the Cell or even the Royal

Rumble or No Way Out match that we talked about on Hard Knocks and Cheap Pops.

How I want to be remembered is in a segment that I wasn't even physically a part of, even

though I was very much there in spirit.

It was Kurt Angle's birthday party.

After the segment ended, Triple H looked at me, at the television we were both looking

at, and he said, do you see what you started?

That's right, I, Mick Foley, the hardcore legend, had ushered in the era of the uber

nerd.

No, wait, that's a good way to be remembered, but I have an even better way.

It's going to be great.

Let's take a look.

Ow!

Oh, hello, Mick.

Look, I just want to say all that stuff in our past.

Let's let bygones be forgotten.

Past of the past.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to give you a title shot.

Oh, really?

Me and the Rock?

Oh, yeah!

A spit-tank snow is doused with a combination of soft drink and Foley saliva.

Hey, hey, can we rewind that?

All right, now, slow motion, here it is.

Hey, one more look.

Before we go, one more look.

Let's just take a look.

The Rock?

What the hell are you doing?

Trying to make up something?

Yeah.

Now, that's the way I want to be remembered.

Have a nice day.

It is definitely great to be back in Phoenix, Arizona.

Madison Square Garden.

Oh, there's a cheap pop in.

Boy, he knows how to get a cheap pop.

It's final!

Final!

Final!

This is a war!

This is carnage!

Hell in the cell!

I have never seen anything like this.

Bang, bang!

Have a nice day!