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Good evening, brothers and sisters.
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This evening's story is concerned with
higher education, specifically with
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members of Greek letter fraternities. I
presume there are fraternities for other
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nationalities as well.
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This is a fraternity paddle.
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Apparently they have very small canoes.
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In keeping with tonight's theme, we
shall first see a short educational film
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then a story.
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As the story opens, you will find the
students hard at work, wrestling with
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complex problems which face man in his
never -ending quest for truth.
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I have ground.
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Poor relatives exist.
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The play's the thing.
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Warren, I'll catch the coxswains of the
king.
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Oh, give it up, Mark, baby. The play's
the thing, but not at a party.
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Oh, Robert, this is the last of the beer
at your place. I think you should
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inform Senior that he's letting down the
youth of America by neglecting his
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larder. If I don't get my lines
memorized this time, old Barrington's
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laugh off this empty head I've grown
fond of. Oh, we can't all be boy genius
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valedictorian like dear Alan here.
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Fellas, honey, why don't you get off my
back?
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You have such a pretty back, darling.
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The last day of the semester.
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What do you say, a truce? Me and you not
waving axes?
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Not exactly waving an axe at the moment.
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You know, fellas, the trouble with you
is that you want to crucify anything you
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can't have.
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And you were supposed to have left that
behind at the age of six, according to
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Freud. Meaning I wanted you?
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Meaning that you just can't bear the
idea that I'm not falling on my face
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running after you, dear.
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I think we had the right idea in the
first place.
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Get drunk.
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Stay drunk.
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Forget about final.
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Here, here, Mark.
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What about that beer drinking bout
between you and Alan? I'm still betting
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tops you, you know.
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They can't be found and Alan tops me in
any... That's quite a rash statement,
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isn't it, Alan?
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Keep trying, baby. You may still reach
me.
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I've come to a conclusion.
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Everybody listen. Franklin has a
conclusion.
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We tried too hard. Hear, hear. Our
leader speaks.
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We're not the lost generation. We're the
stupid generation.
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All men.
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Rocks in our heads.
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Rattling around. Agreed? We tried too
hard to entertain ourselves.
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To be different.
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I am different.
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Alan, old son? Yes, old man.
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Come.
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Prove your manhood.
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Ah, the battle of the beer.
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Come on.
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Be my guest, old buddy. Be my guest.
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I know. The challenger goes first,
right?
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You said you could drink a full pitcher
without stopping.
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I said I'd follow suit if you could do
it. Without stopping, I mind you.
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I have been challenged.
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Hold my glass.
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Mind over matter, as Franklin would put
it.
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Down the hatch. It makes me slightly ill
even to look at that much beer.
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Robert, you have a patient.
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Well, here we go.
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And yea, the children amused themselves.
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Poorly, through lack of direction.
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Thank you.
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No, it's a little conceit of my own.
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Steady, boy, steady.
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Ah, a boy with courage, huh?
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You'll never...
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will do anything he sets out to do,
won't you, darling?
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Speak about a hollow leg.
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You can talk about two hollow legs and
not be very far wrong.
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Come on, Alan, it's almost there!
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There we go!
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Alan, bravo!
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Well,
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old buddy, it's your turn now.
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That's all right, old chap.
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I know what I'm like.
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You don't slide out of it that easily.
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I concede, old man. I concede.
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What are you trying to do, make a
jackass out of me, huh?
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No. You're picking up the marbles, chum.
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You're wearing the blue ribbon.
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You've won.
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That's not the point, old buddy.
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Nothing gained by just one of us doing
this, you see.
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I've suffered through it, now you're
going to suffer through it. Could be
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been taken.
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I'll leave it up to Beth here.
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What?
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Beth, should I drink a full pitcher of
beer?
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If all I can do is time and not be,
that's so like being made a fool out of.
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Hey, old buddy.
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I think he's out for a little bit.
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