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Good evening and welcome to Alfred
Hitchcock Presents.
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00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,210
The feature is about to commence.
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Please don't be alarmed. We are not
charging admission.
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00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,490
This is not pay TV.
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00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:44,450
As usual, all we ask is that on those
occasions when you can't view our show,
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00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:48,270
that you let us know so that we can send
it to someone else.
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00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:51,030
Please don't be a no -show.
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This is not a hold -up.
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I wish to dramatize the title of
tonight's play.
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00:01:01,530 --> 00:01:04,989
Tonight's story is called Bang, You're
Dead.
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00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:11,029
Despite the fact it has been introduced
with my usual flippancy, it concerns a
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very serious subject, and I would be
doing it a disservice if I led you to
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regard it lightly.
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Now I must hurry into the theater, for I
don't want to miss the beginning.
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00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:26,779
Fortunately, I have a minute to find my
seat before the feature starts, for it
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00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:30,180
is preceded by an unselected short
subject.
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It's the management's way of
discouraging those who might stay
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one show.
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Where'd you get it?
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Birthday.
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How many bullets you got?
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A little box full.
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There.
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What a cheesy
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00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:33,930
gun. Can I try yours?
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Nah. Please?
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No, go on home.
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Can't I get in the war?
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too, Stevie.
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This is our war, I told you. Go on home,
Half -Pint.
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Jackie, here's your Uncle Rick, home
from the wars.
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Well, I'd know him if I met him in the
jungle. How are you, Jackie?
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You got your own war on?
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They want me in their war.
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Oh, they won't, huh?
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Boo!
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Boo! Boo! Jackie, Uncle Rick was in
Africa yesterday.
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Wonderful gadget, the airplane.
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Rick!
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00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:05,759
Hey, what's going on here? You think
you're the only one that had trouble
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00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,100
the natives? Oh, brother.
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00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,580
What on earth is that?
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00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:12,439
Well, that is what the well -dressed
witch doctor is wearing. It's always
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something I picked up for you, June.
You're home for good, really?
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00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:18,539
Well, it's a little tough to do business
in a country that's blowing sky high.
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Rick. Oh, thanks.
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Ah, peace.
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It's wonderful.
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Now, that little item was all that was
left.
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Just one incident.
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You might say that it had its bug back.
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Bad, huh?
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Well, there's no place for an innocent
automobile salesman, I'll tell you that.
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Going to sleep every night with a gun
under your pillow.
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It leads to a certain amount of
insomnia.
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00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:45,870
Well, better days and nights.
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00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:49,390
Where is that Cleo? Nobody's even
started the canopy.
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Why don't you be here, honey?
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Oh, I didn't do it now, partner.
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So Rick is room Fred. I'd better call a
Rick if you could have stayed on we
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wouldn't arrest you into a party Maybe
you can make friends and influence
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people. Well, I've got a couple of
connections up north, but I can be
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right, where am I?
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00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:16,469
Wait on wild bill That
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thing gives me the old -fashioned Willie
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I must say I don't care for it next to
the olives.
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Conversation piece.
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Bloodbath.
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Here.
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Have a transfusion.
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No answer.
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I should have told Cleo to come at a
regular time.
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But it's not a regular day.
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00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:51,630
Nope, I never did meet Tarzan. I guess
he must live in another part of Africa.
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Okay, fork over.
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Okay.
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There you are.
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00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:07,760
Gee, thanks, Uncle Rick.
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00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:09,220
You're welcome, Jackie.
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00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,960
Say, I've got a surprise for you that'll
really knock your eye out, old fella.
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You just wait a little after the party.
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Can't I have it now?
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Nope.
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How's it going?
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Okay between shakedowns.
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00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:27,339
Take a lot of time. Thanks. We've got to
cheer Amy up. She thinks the maid's
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falling down a manhole someplace.
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Daddy, Uncle Rick's got a surprise for
me. Well, he's a fine, decent, good
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00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,180
-hearted uncle. That's what he is.
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00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,680
Why don't you unpack for him?
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After you.
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00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:39,720
Be right back, Jackie.
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00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,770
Well, I guess it's as good a way as any
to work up the people.
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00:08:45,771 --> 00:08:49,559
I tell you, if you could just see it or
hear it, you'd wish you were six years
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old again shooting honest engines.
96
00:08:51,980 --> 00:08:53,420
It's probably a museum piece.
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00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:56,300
No offense, but it probably ought to be
in a museum.
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00:08:56,860 --> 00:09:00,779
How could she have left an hour ago and
still not be here? It only takes her 25
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00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:04,740
minutes. Hands up! Of course I know how
the buses are.
100
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,210
I just can't help being upset. I've got
guests arriving in an hour.
101
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,420
Don't bother me, honey.
102
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,199
Yes, I know.
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00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,250
Jackie.
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Please.
105
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,760
Well, let's just hope Cleo arrives soon.
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00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:20,600
Thank you so much. Goodbye.
107
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,620
No luck. She left an hour ago.
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00:09:26,621 --> 00:09:30,199
It's my fault. I should have picked her
up. Don't fret, honey. I have limitless
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confidence in Cleo. Honey.
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00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:35,190
What? I have the strangest feeling
something's wrong.
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00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,450
Intuition. I don't know. I hope
nothing's happened to her.
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00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,850
Jackie. Run along, honey. Go out and
play.
113
00:09:41,851 --> 00:09:44,989
Yeah, why don't you go outside and see
if you can bring down a real live maid,
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00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:47,250
huh? Thanks for the surprise, Uncle
Rick.
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00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:51,580
Surprise? He thanks me in advance. It
shows you he has a very trusting spirit.
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00:09:52,130 --> 00:09:55,010
I brought him one of these, uh, mass
size feather hands.
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00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:58,049
Still out in the car, isn't it? Well,
you know, I wanted to give him the whole
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picture. You know, old story type
telling, Uncle.
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00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:04,340
You'd get him off with this western
kick. I'll be glad for a change.
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00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:14,169
him up.
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00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:15,970
Now, just a minute, believer kid.
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00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:17,750
I'm not a rebel soldier.
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00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:21,240
I'm the United States mail, and it's
against the law to shoot me.
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00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:22,720
What you want?
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00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,730
Nothing. I'm just practicing.
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Tell you a secret.
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00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:29,330
The real big stuff's down at the post
office.
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00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:33,570
Registered mail, jewelry, gold watches,
money.
129
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:36,470
Money? I got a lot of money. See?
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00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,350
Uncle Rick gave it to me. I'm going to
the store.
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00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:41,740
Well, great.
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00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,670
Run along now and buy yourself a 20
-cent bellyache.
133
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:48,980
I gotta crank up the stage and get going
before the engines get me. Okay?
134
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,560
Sure. Bye, mailman.
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00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,170
Bye, Jackie.
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00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:41,330
I thought I'd give Amy a sneak preview,
did I?
137
00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:44,780
Something wrong?
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00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,380
Yeah.
139
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,110
Hey, you gotta speed it. What?
140
00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:19,110
Dimes. In the slot there.
141
00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:20,380
Right him, cowboy.
142
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,630
You're sure he isn't playing in your
backyard, Judith?
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00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:02,750
All right.
144
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,460
No, no, I've called the Davidson.
145
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,180
Of course something's wrong. He's got
his uncle's revolver with live
146
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,900
He thinks it's a toy.
147
00:13:21,949 --> 00:13:26,429
Did you look at the gun he had? I told
you, Mr. Chester, it's a cap gun. He
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00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:30,210
wanted to get in our war and I wouldn't
let him. I told him to go home.
149
00:13:30,211 --> 00:13:32,129
Then you didn't see him when he came out
again?
150
00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:35,809
No, sir. I was over at Gary's. I called
everybody I could think of. No one's
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00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:36,860
seen him since lunch.
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00:13:36,910 --> 00:13:39,140
That settles it. We call the police
right now.
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00:13:39,141 --> 00:13:44,649
I'm going to go call the police. The
mailman said he saw him heading for the
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00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,030
supermarket. Climb in. Hurry.
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00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:28,399
The horsey's got a customer, can't you
see?
156
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,990
Now, come on now, don't give Daddy a bad
time. Come on.
157
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,240
How about it, friend?
158
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,940
Give us a fast ride. Just once around
the corral.
159
00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:38,460
I got here first.
160
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,739
I know, I know, but give us a break,
huh?
161
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:43,030
You know how women are, and this one's
murder.
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00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,060
I got here first.
163
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:48,580
I want to ride the horsey. Yeah, well,
here.
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00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,030
Look, pal.
165
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,780
There. Will that make it right?
166
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:53,840
I got here first.
167
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:56,190
Daddy?
168
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:58,070
Come here.
169
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:02,639
Hey, that's my horse. I know, I know.
And I'll put you right back on him in
170
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:03,690
a minute.
171
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:04,750
Horse thief.
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00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,000
Yeah, well, don't be too hard on me,
Sheriff.
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00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:10,220
Here you go, darling. Out.
174
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:46,270
Okay. Run along, kid. Make the public
library.
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00:15:51,130 --> 00:15:52,450
Keep out of mischief, huh?
176
00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:56,210
See you on television.
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00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:59,470
George Webster on register seven,
please.
178
00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:00,860
Coming.
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00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:06,110
I know how busy you are, but I'm just
beat down to a nub.
180
00:16:06,111 --> 00:16:09,549
We should have got this done last week,
but we just let it go and let it go. You
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00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:12,829
know the way to do it. What can I do for
you? Oh, she's looking for cartons. Big
182
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:15,550
cartons. All the cartons we got are out
back.
183
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:19,069
Oh, I saw those. They won't do. But you
do have some in the back room that are
184
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,549
just perfect, except they're full of dog
food or something.
185
00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:23,869
Excuse me, please. Have you seen a...
Just a minute, lady.
186
00:16:23,870 --> 00:16:27,109
This is a true project. You see, we're
all making puppets for the cat craft
187
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:28,970
fair. I'm sorry, but this is important.
188
00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:30,209
So is this.
189
00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:31,530
I said just a minute, lady.
190
00:16:31,531 --> 00:16:35,599
They're for puppet theaters. We cut out
the front. And then I've got to find my
191
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:36,499
little boy.
192
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,150
Check for the manager, please. At the
desk, aisle six.
193
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:50,090
Excuse me. Just a minute, please. And I
have your driver's license, please.
194
00:16:55,011 --> 00:16:56,919
All right.
195
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,729
Take it to the cashier on number three.
196
00:16:58,730 --> 00:17:01,809
Yes, ma 'am. Would you please make an
announcement? My little boy is around
197
00:17:01,810 --> 00:17:04,890
someplace with a... Jonathan?
198
00:17:05,630 --> 00:17:07,150
Yeah? How many cases?
199
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:54,279
Hands up.
200
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,499
Oh, come now. You wouldn't shoot a girl,
would you?
201
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,000
Sure I would. Watch.
202
00:17:59,091 --> 00:18:01,179
How's that?
203
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,500
Mmm. More?
204
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:04,030
Mmm.
205
00:18:04,031 --> 00:18:07,599
That's why you outlawed her so mean.
You're always hungry.
206
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,190
Never saw an outlaw shoot anybody on a
full stomach.
207
00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:13,939
Now, you tell your mommy we have six
different kinds of jiffy snacks.
208
00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,680
All she has to do is open a can, okay?
209
00:18:15,681 --> 00:18:16,679
Mm -hmm.
210
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,730
What's your name?
211
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,300
Jackie. Bye, Jackie. Bye.
212
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:27,980
Please, please, this is an emergency. I
want you to make an announcement.
213
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,350
You want to ride this pony? You take
your turn.
214
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:34,829
Your attention, please. We have a
missing boy named...
215
00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:41,949
He's
216
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:44,370
five years old, wearing a straw cowboy
hat.
217
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,260
His mother is waiting here at the desk
on aisle six.
218
00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:51,690
Jackie Kester, five years old. Please
send him to the desk on aisle six.
219
00:18:52,190 --> 00:18:53,810
I just saw him down in aisle eight.
220
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,490
He was sitting right there loading his
gun.
221
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,620
Boy, that's a real bullet.
222
00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:06,260
Yes, it is.
223
00:19:07,531 --> 00:19:14,339
Jackie! Jackie, this is Mother!
Somebody's got throwing water in the
224
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:15,390
lot.
225
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:22,550
Jackie!
226
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,860
Any luck? He's out here somewhere.
Somebody just saw him.
227
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:29,620
Come on.
228
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:32,470
Jackie! Did you hear that?
229
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:34,500
Over there.
230
00:19:35,330 --> 00:19:36,670
Jackie! Jackie!
231
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,969
Where's everybody, honey?
232
00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:27,020
I don't know.
233
00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:32,850
Pick them up, Cleo.
234
00:20:32,851 --> 00:20:36,269
I got no time to play games, sweetie
pie. Your mother's probably fit to be
235
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,270
tired. Uncle Rick gave me this.
236
00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:40,890
You can put bullets in it, just like
Rio.
237
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:42,850
Did he tell you all about Africa?
238
00:20:43,650 --> 00:20:45,030
Tarzan doesn't live there.
239
00:20:45,031 --> 00:20:46,249
He moved?
240
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:47,300
I don't know.
241
00:20:47,301 --> 00:20:51,509
He probably got himself all crippled up
swinging on the trees the way he does.
242
00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:53,980
Found himself a nice quiet cave and
settled down.
243
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:56,460
Nobody will play war with me.
244
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,720
I'll play with you tomorrow.
245
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,060
Stick them up, Cleo.
246
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,310
You put that down, Jackie. I told you I
can't play now.
247
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:05,610
Nate, Nate.
248
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,280
Why, you little rat galleon.
249
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,280
If I get my hands on you, Jackie, I bet
I'll...
250
00:21:25,111 --> 00:21:27,829
I thought I had my head examined.
251
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,090
That won't help us now.
252
00:21:29,091 --> 00:21:32,269
I don't know what happened. My mind just
went blank or something.
253
00:21:32,270 --> 00:21:34,090
If anyone gets hurt, it's Jackie.
254
00:21:34,490 --> 00:21:37,860
Sitting here crucifying ourselves is not
going to solve anything.
255
00:21:39,050 --> 00:21:40,290
Let's go call the police.
256
00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:42,370
Take them out, Cleo.
257
00:21:43,050 --> 00:21:45,230
Okay. You go ahead and shoot me.
258
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:47,140
You tell Mom?
259
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:48,940
Sure, I'll tell her.
260
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:52,969
I'll tell her how you parmed me with a
cowboy gun and wouldn't mind me for foul
261
00:21:52,970 --> 00:21:54,020
apples.
262
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:55,510
That's what I'll tell her.
263
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,940
I'll shoot you, Cleo. I'll shoot you.
264
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,000
It's all right with me.
265
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,320
I made my peace to Almighty.
266
00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:04,070
Go on.
267
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,610
Blaze away.
268
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,650
Jackie!
269
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:14,940
Cleo! It's a real gun!
270
00:22:15,220 --> 00:22:16,270
You're not hurt?
271
00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:40,479
like that.
272
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:45,979
We need something to break the spell,
and I have just the thing. I shall
273
00:22:45,980 --> 00:22:47,030
you in a moment.
274
00:22:47,980 --> 00:22:54,059
On rare occasions, we have stories on
this program which do not lend
275
00:22:54,060 --> 00:22:55,110
to levity.
276
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:58,100
Bang, you're dead is a case in point.
277
00:22:58,540 --> 00:23:04,519
We only hope that this play has
dramatized for parents the importance of
278
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,580
firearms and ammunition out of reach of
children.
279
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:14,459
Accidents of this type occur far too
frequently nowadays, and the tragic fact
280
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:17,320
that with proper precaution, they could
be avoided.
281
00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:19,340
That is all for tonight.
282
00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:23,240
Please join us next week when we shall
return with another story.
283
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,480
Until then, good night.
284
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:30,080
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