Original subtitles

Well, there's my ice fisherman and fisherwomen folks.

This sucks on a historic level. I can't believe you're making us go ice fishing.

Yeah, I don't even like fish.

I don't even like ice.

For the last time, this is for Grandpa, alright? He loves ice fishing and he

loves his grandkids. And you never go with him. This is just one of those

you have to do to be loving and generous.

That is exactly why.

Thanks, CJ.

You're welcome. Why the hell do I have to go?

His grandpa loves all his grandkids. You should hear that old coot talking in

his sleep. He's not that fond of me.

Well, gang, we all ready to go?

You know, I'll bet with my grandkids with me this year, I'm going to nab Big

Daddy. I hope he's talking about a fish.

I'm going to go get the rest of our gear, and then we're on the road, just

and my gang.

I didn't eat his. He's like a little kid.

In a hundred -year -old body.

You know, Mom, if this is so important to you, why don't you come? Well, I wish

I could, but it's staff and faculty day, and I have to be at school.

Look, I'm not going to say it again.

This trip with your grandfather means the world to him. One chance to get out

this crazy nut house alone, and my damn grandkids want to go with me.

I can't tell them no stinky.

I mean, they're all excited to be with Grandpa.

Well, of course I love them, but I just wish this morning they'd have woken up

with food poisoning.

Hey, there's my little fishing group. Yes, sir, yeah, hi.

Yeah, I'm afraid you guys are going to back out on me. Are you kidding? Not us.

He loves our fishing.

All right, have a great time.

Oh, yeah.

Good morning, Margaret.

Here's Pennessy.

You know, you could call me Kate.

I prefer keeping things on a professional basis.

In fact, I'd be much more comfortable if you called me Miss Brandon Bowerburn.

You let Ed call you Margie.

What Principal Gibb chooses to call me has no bearing on what I prefer to be

called by you, which is Miss Brandon Bowerburn.

All right, then, Miss... that.

Uh, I was wondering if I could go talk to Ed.

Principal Gibb is extremely busy. Perhaps I could help.

Well, it's not really a school matter. It's more personal. Oh, so that's how

want to play it.

No, I don't want to play it at all. I would just like to talk to Ed for a few

minutes. Nurse Hennessy, as Principal Gibbs' administrative assistant, it is

job to protect his valuable time.

It is I to whom he confides every detail of his life, which means it is I who

will determine whether or not it is worth an interruption.

Fine.

Then tell him congratulations for getting on the list.

What list?

He was named one of the top 100 high school principals in the state.

I didn't know about that. How did you know about that?

He emails me at home.

Oh, so that's your game.

This is ridiculous.

You can't go in there.

Principal, give us in a budget conference and cannot be disturbed. He

adamant. Principal Gibbs. Margie. Hey, Kate, what a nice surprise.

Come on in. I got a bagel with your name on it.

Thanks,

Margie.

That's very sweet, Kate, but it's not that big a deal.

You were voted one of the top... 100 high school principals in the state.

big deal. Yeah, but I was 63rd. If it was a horse race, they'd still be

my shoes on.

Ed, you're too modest.

All right, I'll let you get back to work.

Oh, you know, this is my first year at the school. What exactly do we do on

staff and faculty day?

Honestly, nothing.

Personally, I take a master key and go through the kids' lockers.

Seriously, there's a couple of meetings and a sexual harassment seminar. We'll

have your cute little butt out of here by one.

I'll see you later.

He can be so funny.

He's more than that. He's witty, he's pithy, and intellectually engaging.

You know, I'd like you to help me out with something.

I'd like to throw him a party at lunch. You know, for getting on the list.

You're throwing him a party. How do you know I'm not throwing him a party?

Never mind.

I'll do it myself.

Wait.

I'll help.

You will?

A party's actually a lovely idea.

Thank you.

All right, then. At lunchtime, you get everybody in here. I'll bring them down

the hall, and then we'll all yell surprise.

It'll be so much fun. In the meantime, I'll go out and get a cake and some

decorations. Nurse Hennessey, you can't just go gallivanting around town for

cakes and streamers.

This is Staff and Faculty Day.

Oh, come on.

You know as well as I do, we don't do a damn thing.

He told you.

All right, here we are.

My little slice of heaven.

Oh, my God, there's a hole in the floor.

That's where the fish are.

Didn't the Unabomber live here for a while?

All right, look, I have baited all your hooks.

So grab a rod, stick that little worm down in the hole, and we're going to

some bats.

Nothing's happening.

I went over and say, here, fishy, fishy, fishy.

So, how long is this going to take?

That could take all day, but hey, who cares?

Here we are engaged in an epic struggle as old as time.

We're going to try to capture the wily king of the lake using nothing but sheer

will and superior intelligence.

Open. I was just making sure that... What's up, Kate?

I was wondering if we could talk.

Sure, sure. What's on your mind?

Well, not here. Let's go in your office.

Okay.

So, what's this about? Is everything okay? Oh, everything's fine.

In fact... Surprise!

Oh!

You shouldn't have.

Well, where is everybody?

Well, uh, are we in the right room?

Everybody was supposed to be here. This was supposed to be a surprise.

Oh, gosh.

Was that supposed to be today?

Everyone went to lunch inside.

Margaret. Oh, not much of a party, is it? Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. Kate is

very thoughtful.

No, it's not fine. I wanted you to have a party.

Well, we can still have a party.

Hey, guys.

Come on in here.

We're celebrating with Principal Kidd.

What did he say? He said you look pretty good for 63.

Oh, Eduardo, I am not 63.

Oh, is there like a TV?

Oh, bringing a TV into a fishing shack is worse than bringing a...

Oh,

that's me.

Hey, Marissa.

I'm ice fishing.

So that I can spend quality time with my grandpa.

Off our peace.

Hey, dear, what's up? They're selling danae pants at 50 % off when I'm stuck

Siberia.

Loving it.

Dude, she is smoking hot.

Oh, for the love of God, it's Chelsea. You know, every time I like a guy, she

goes after him. I don't ever want to talk to that two -feet backstabber

Well, you know what? You don't have to. We're out here enjoying the ice, each

other's company. Chelsea!

You know what?

I think what they're doing is despicable.

Here we are trying to spend a special day with you, the beloved patriarch of

family. And these guys...

I'm just being teenagers, you know? Oh, just get it.

Hello?

Lindsay with Josh.

Do you mind?

Quite the gentleman walking me to the door.

Well, thanks for taking me to dinner. You really didn't have to. Are you

kidding? After that surprise party?

Margaret really sandbagged me.

Yeah, she'd be kind of quirky.

Deranged. Better.

Well, good night.

Ed,

I had an idea.

You know, it's only 9 o 'clock, and my family is gone for the weekend, and I

have a great bottle of wine. I just thought maybe... Yes, yes, the answer's

I didn't even ask a question.

Oh, continue.

Would you like to come in and watch Lawrence of Arabia?

Yes, yes, the answer's yes.

Oh, good.

Love that movie.

You're reading my mind.

Well, I have it in green.

I have it in blue.

Your tongue's stuck and caught in his brakes.

Shut up.

Shut up! I have it in pink.

Yes, I would like to save money on auto insurance. What are you wearing?

I have it in like an aqua. You have an awful high voice for a dude.

All right, all right. That's it. Give me those phones. Come on. Give them here

now. Come on. Careful.

That's the worst fishing trip I've ever been on.

Nobody else brings their grandkids out here. Why did you guys want to come in

the first place? We didn't, Mom made us.

What? Yeah, she thought that's what you wanted. It's the last thing I wanted.

She thought you wanted special time with us. Well, I don't ever again.

We're going home.

Now? That's right. We'll drive all night and we'll be home in the morning.

Wait a minute. Should we call Mom? We don't have any phones.

What about your phone, Grandpa?

I don't bring a phone.

I came here for the peace and freaking quiet.

You fell asleep watching Lawrence of Arabia.

I'm sorry about my head in your... Oh, no, no, no, never mind. It's fine. I'm

sure you were just reaching for a pillow in your sleep.

I'm going to make some coffee.

Oh, my God. It's 7 o 'clock.

I've got a meeting downtown at 8.

Downtown? Oh, I've got to go home and shower.

Oh, no, you'll never make that.

Well, I'll just wash the critical part.

Why don't you just... run upstairs and take a shower here.

What? Yeah, I'll iron your clothes and you'll look as good as new.

Oh, and here, here, wear my dad's robe.

Oh, I don't know if that's such a good idea.

I just washed it.

No, no, I mean taking a shower here.

Oh, come on. It's not like we're showering together.

Besides, then you'll have time for coffee and time to make your meeting.

okay. Go on. I won't go through any of your personal things.

I didn't think you would.

And I probably didn't need to say that.

Oh, when you get your clothes off, just throw them down here.

Okay.

Oh, dear God in heaven.

grandkids anymore.

What? He yelled at us. Andy, your cell phone's in the lake. You're lucky I

stopped there.

7 a .m., what are you doing all dressed up? I'm not all dressed up. What

happened? Oh, these kids. They can't go five minutes without some god -awful

electronic device stuck to their heads.

PJ's right. Why are you all dressed up? Can't a woman look good on a Saturday

morning?

Whose shoes are these?

Gee, I don't know.

I know. They're not mine. I don't wear those Nancy Boy loafers.

Why are there two coffee cups?

You know, I was trying to decide which one to use.

That one is my normal one, but then, you know, I'm all dressed up. I thought I'd

try the fancy one.

What's going on? Mom, is there somebody here? Don't use that tone of voice with

me. And just what exactly are you accusing me of? We think she gots to

the house.

That is the most...

anybody could sing.

More preposterous than flying pants?

Well, actually, I hired a cleaning lady since I can't get any of you to help.

I'll come up and get the rest.

If you come up here now, it's at your own risk.

Yeah.

Mom?

It's not what it looks like.

Looks like a fox got into the Hennessy house.

Hello, everyone.

I know this looks a little awkward, but I assure you it was completely innocent.

In time, this will become a treasured story shared at family gatherings.

That's my robe.

Yes, and it's like being wrapped in a cloud.

I'll return it to you tomorrow.

Oh, Brad!

I'm okay, though.

I'll have waffles. Mom, did you and Principal get waffles? What are you

about? No. Might you? No. Have you ever? No. Never. Not with him.

Look, I took Ed out for an innocent dinner. He kindly drove me home. He

graciously walked me to the door. And then as a friend, we watched Lawrence of

Arabia. We fell asleep.

Any questions?

Are we ever going to have any waffles?

If you guys get married, will my grades go up?

We are not getting married.

Well, what if you have to? Rory!

It was naked fever on our floor. His naked body was in our house. His naked

was in my robe.

You know, if this gets out of school, we're going to have to move.

No, nobody's going to have to move.

Nobody has to be ashamed.

Nobody has to get married.

These are two consenting adults. He did consent.

can't be trusted by my own family, then just forget it.

I believe you. I totally believe you.

Let's get that couch cleaned.

Well, hi.

Hi.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Because you still have that glow from, you know.

You didn't do anything. Right, right, right.

So where are you going?

To have sex with Ed in his office, I can't get enough.

I'm going to my office.

Ooh, I'm going to walk in front of you. Create a diversion.

What's going on?

There's a rumor going around.

Apparently someone saw you and Ed Gibb at the restaurant.

And someone else saw the Gibbster leaving our house in Grandpa's row.

That started another kind of rumor.

It's ridiculous.

Come on, Aunt Kay. Detroit, the small town with loose lips and a hunger for

scandal. And you're dishing it out with a big fat ladle.

Because of the juice that comes with being the 63rd best principal in

I've always loved him. And you come in, and in one night, bed him.

Hi. Hi. Have you heard?

Oh, yeah.

Apparently, I bedded you last night.

Well, a friend of Margie's saw us at the restaurant, and it just grew from

there. Oh, my God.

I've heard everything from we did it at your house to the parking lot at the

mini -mart.

What are we going to do?

Well, we're going to stay the heck away from that mini -mart.

You know, apparently someone also saw you leaving my house. That was Margie.

What? Yeah, apparently she'd been there since like 5 o 'clock in the morning.

I'm so sorry about all this, Kate.

No, it's not your fault. I'm just saying, a 63 -year -old man should know

than to start a movie at 9 o 'clock at night.

You and I cannot seem to be just friends.

What do you mean?

Well, you wanted to date me, and I wasn't ready.

And then when I wanted to date you, you had a girlfriend.

That all gets resolved, we get to this nice, easy place, and then this happens.

We get...

All this grief for a sex scandal, and we never even did anything.

Truly does not seem fair, does it? No.

No, it doesn't.

Here's my letter of resignation.

It has been an honor, and a pleasure, and obviously a misdirected obsession.

Basic needs.

Hmm.

Yeah, man.

Nature and nothing else.

Whoa,

whoa, whoa. I'm coming.

There you go, you rascal. Hey, hey, hey.

Turn it. You come.

I got you. I got you.

Oh, there you are, you rascal. I finally got you, you old cudger. What do you

say to that, huh?