All language subtitles for 8_simple_rules_s03e04_car_trouble

Oh, look at you all dressed up.

I got a date.

Hey, check this tie out, huh? I think
this lady's got a thing for ties.

Really?

It's a tie food.

CJ, could you not ride the scooter in
the... Things you never thought you'd

to a 35 -year -old man.

Listen, just put some fat tires on her.
I want to see how she corners.

Hey, guys. Rory, how was the mini -mart?

Yeah, how's your slurpy gas hot dog
girl?

She also developed film.

And no AMC here, because these two
wouldn't take me. Oh, girl.

What? We ran out of time. We had to get
outcast tickets. Yeah. Now, don't you

remember what I told you when I bought
the new car?

You can share the minivan, but you have
to drive your brother around, too. We

did. We drove him around all day.

Not to the mini -mart.

Look, you guys, I'm working full -time,
I'm trying to run the house, and I'm

trying to have a life.

This is the one thing you could do that
would make my life easier.

See, this is why you should have given
me the car. I would have driven the lad

to the end of the earth.

Jay, we've been all over this. I know,
but I really need a car. I mean, the

scooter's fine, but it's tough to pick
up chicks.

It's not impossible, it's just they have
to be a certain height and wearing a

helmet when I meet them.

Look, I'm trying to teach them to be
responsible.

It's not working out real well.

Okay, I'm out of here. Me too.

Where are you going?

Picking up a friend at the airport.

Dormy!

Mom, can you take me to the mini -mart?
Oh, actually, no, honey. I'm late for

the book club, and I'm bringing the
beer.

Your sisters would use her driving turn
to take you. Yeah, Mom, I can't. I'm

really busy. Like I said, one of your
sisters will take you.

Love ya.

So, which one of you hoes is taking me?

Carrie, after she drops me off at
Tanya's party.

Actually, I'm not going to waste my turn
on a roaring run. I'm going to walk to

Heather's, and she will drive me to the
library. See ya.

Mini -mark time, dog. Let's hit it.

No, I'm not wasting my turn on you
either. I'll just walk down to Erica's.

She'll drive me to Tanya's party. Hey,
go hang those on the hook. If you can

reach.

Hello?

Dude, I've been trying to get there all
day.

She's wearing what?

No, I'm not afraid to talk to her.

I don't have a ride.

Hello? Yeah, I went.

I'm just getting back.

Are you kidding? She was all over me.

I ordered a large and she charged me for
a small.

Damn, I spilled.

Let me call you back.

Step away from the vehicle.

It was like that when I found it.

Uh -huh.

Come on.

I smell slurpy.

And footlongs.

And gas.

And film.

I didn't go to the mini -mart.

Who said anything about the mini -mart?

Fine, you caught me.

I drove to the mini -mart. When I got
back, I hit the garage.

You drove?

That's awesome, dude.

Oh, my God.

What am I going to do, C .J.? Skip town.

Isn't a life riding the rails at its own
reward?

I don't want to be a hobo. Nobody wants
to be a hobo.

Why don't you just go to Mom and tell
her the truth?

Well, it would make her proud, and it is
the mature thing to do.

Grunt!

How was your book club?

Oh, my God. We just went on and on and
on all night and then fought over the

ending. How was your date?

Pretty much the same.

Hey,

dude.

About last night with the car?

The more I think about it...

The more I think we handled it badly.

Me too.

I'm just going to tell Mom.

Yeah, that's smart because you can't run
away from this thing. It's not like

income taxes or the Army.

There I go. I just remember two things.

A, it was a total and complete accident.
And B, I had nothing to do with it.

What the hell happened to the minivan?

Start with B.

family has ever done. Mom, can I say
something? Rory, not now.

All right, which one of you girls
wrecked the car? I swear it wasn't me.

either. Okay, fine. Just lie about it
and make it worse. Didn't we teach you

honesty in this house? Mom, I really
want to... Rory, please.

Did you really think that you could get
away with this? Mom, I didn't do it. I

went to the library with Heather and she
drove. Ask my friends. Oh, right. Ask

her friends like they won't lie for her.

So where were you? Johnny's party. Ask
my friends.

Mom, please. I really want to... Honey.
Please.

All right. So this is the way it's going
to be? Well, you're both grounded. Mom,

I'm at a concert.

Oh, that's right.

You're supposed to go to a concert.

You're not going to any concert.

And neither one of you is driving. Mom!
In fact, let's try this.

I'm going to put CJ in charge of the
minivan.

And he can drive Rory around.

Now, sweetheart.

Sweetheart, what did you want to say?

Me and CJ are going on the mini -mart.

Anybody need anything?

Hello,

innocent one.

Hello, guilty one.

speaking. I don't know.

She's the guilty one. She is.

I can see we're making progress.

So unfair.

Yes, it is.

Being grounded, losing privileges, not
being able to go see outcasts perform

their chart -topping hits like Hey Ya
and Roses.

This is just so unfair for one of you.
Me?

I don't know what would be more
maddening.

The guilt of having known I'd done it,
or the anger at being hung out to dry by

my very own sister.

Must be unbearable.

Toodle.

You know, it is so obvious what
happened. Yeah, Mom wrote the name of

on her hand.

You know, you got a ride to Tonya's
party, then you snuck back here and took

car. Oh!

Please, like I could ever think of
something that smart.

All right, that's proof enough for me. I
must have done it. I knew it. I didn't

do it, you idiot. I'm not an idiot. Then
maybe you are smart enough to think of

that plan.

Oh, I'm not falling for that one. I'm an
idiot.

This is unbelievable.

Something actually went my way.

I mean, I've read about it and I've
heard about it, but I've never actually

experienced it.

I think this is what the fortunate
people call good luck.

And I can get used to it, too.

Hey, ladies.

Oh, don't laugh. It's paid for.

Dude.

Dude, come on. You were brilliant back
there.

We're doing the right thing, aren't we?
Of course. I mean, technically, we

should have some baddies in the back
seat, but... You know what?

This morning, you thought I should
confess.

Well, that was before the gods handed
you this gift.

Buddy, nobody gets off the hook like
this.

So I shouldn't feel guilty? No.

When the gods hand you a gift, you never
turn it down. You don't anger the gods,

all right? For the record, I told the
king of this.

You're right. This is pretty cool.

And if you ever hook up with that slurpy
girl, you'll want access to some wheels

to take her around in, right?

You know, she's pretty hot, huh? Oh,
she's a looker.

I don't know how to impress her.

I mean, I'm already eating nine hot dogs
a day.

I don't know.

What is she like? Maybe, you know, get
her a gift.

She loves OutKast. Let this show sold
out.

I got it.

Get those scratchers, man. You know,
every girl loves a millionaire.

Come on, the gods are with us right now.
Give it a shot.

Oh, check that out. A beautiful girl in
a helmet.

The one day I don't need her.

Okay, okay, I have a plan.

Let's say for the sake of argument,
neither one of us did it.

Okay, listen.

It's stupid for both of us to be getting
punished. If one of us confesses, at

least the other one can go to the
concert.

True. I'm just wondering with this
little plan of yours, which one of us

confesses? Yes, yes, that is the tricky
part, my friend. But I think I may have

a solution.

What number am I thinking of? Four.
Damn!

Two out of three. Four. Damn!

Okay. All right.

I'm gonna go confess.

Four.

Damn!

Uh, no, I'm sorry, Tanya, but Bridget's
not allowed to talk on the phone.

For how long?

Well, that's really up to her.

Uh, no, honey, I haven't seen your
retainer, but I'll look.

So do you have a reason to leave your
room?

Let's just say, hypothetically, one of
us was to confess.

How would you feel?

I'd be angry.

But I'd be proud that one of you did the
right thing.

And might you be grateful that this...

brave person that finally straightened
out this whole mess?

I'd be very grateful. And might you be
so proud and grateful that you would let

this generous soul go to the concert?

Bridget, if you have something to say,
just come out and say it.

This is killing me.

Carrie did it.

What's up, Grandpa?

You're in a good mood.

Why not?

The gods are smiling on me.

That's great.

That's great. What do you know about
this?

That's a... It's ball.

Ball? Yeah, a combination of spoon and
straw.

You're talking crazy, son. Everybody
knows that's a strewn.

We're done here.

Not quite so fast.

You know, I came in for my date last
night, and I noticed the minivan was

a little funny, so...

I did a little snooping around and I
noticed the front bumper was all torn

I found this on the front seat.

So? So, strewn, slurpy, slurpy, mini
-mart, mini -mart, mini -van.

And here we are.

Fine, I'm the one who wrecked the car.

Don't cave so easy. It's the only fun I
get around here.

I was going to tell Mom everything.

I swear.

Then when she got mad at Bridget Carey,
I thought that was payback for them

picking on me. First of all, I don't
care what your sister said. You

be driving the car.

And second, you messed up and they're
taking the hit for it. And you know

not right.

I know.

You're going to tell Mom?

No, I'm not.

Because I know you'll do the right
thing.

You are a...

Despicable backstabber. You are the
lowest of the low. At least I didn't

the car. Neither did I. All right,
that's enough.

First you two lie to me about the car,
and now you are trying to scam me so

you can go to some concert?

Well, you know what?

Give me those tickets.

Neither of you are going under any
circumstances. Then who's going?

Mom, I have something to say.

So do I.

Enjoy the show.

Tickets to OutKast? Yes, and I'm sure
you can find somebody that's dying to

Now, what were you going to say?

Hey, y 'all.

Hey, CJ, thank you so much for taking
Rory and his girlfriend to that concert.

I'll just be here at the Hennessy
Lockdown trying to get one of the girls

confess. Listen, all you need is a
bucket of water, a car battery, and a

CD.

Come to think of it, you don't even need
the bucket of water or the car battery.

Are you okay?

Oh, yeah.

You know, CJ, sometimes the kids tell
you stuff.

Stuff that they don't want to tell me.

You don't know anything about this, do
you?

And if you did, you'd tell me, right?

Of course.

I knew you would.

So great to have you in this family.

Hey, what do you think of the hair?
Dude, you can't go.

What, too much product?

I don't know about the hair, but yeah.

I've been thinking about this, and I
think we push this thing as far as it

go. You know, and the gods are starting
to turn on us.

Turning? Are you kidding?

We got the car, I got the tickets. The
gods love knowing you gotta confess.

What? Yeah, we had a taste of good life,
man. We had the van, we had the trips

to the mini -mart.

We lived large, and we drank extra
large.

But the party's over, dude. We can't do
this to your mom and the girls.

I'm not gonna confess. I'm about to have
the best night of my life.

Well, dude, you're gonna have to do it
by yourself, because I'm not driving

What? Look, I'm considered an important
part of this family now, and I can't

betray your mom's trust.

You understand?

I understand.

But it's going to break her heart when
she finds out you knew all along.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You think someone let some 86 -pound,
greasy -haired little punk intimidate

Thanks.

I always wondered what you'd look like
without your uniform on. Not without

clothes. I mean, something underneath.

Is this mango?

You're cute.

Thanks.

It's a little cold in here.

I'll talk to my driver.

Uh, Elwood?

I'm pretending to tell you to turn the
heat up, but just keep it cold so I can

warm her up Rory -style.

If you'd like to turn around and go
home, what do you say?

Thank you, Elwood.

He'll be toasty in no time.

So, where are we sitting at the concert?

What concert?

OutKast.

You're funny, too.

Excuse me.

I forgot the tickets.

I know about these things, man. The gods
are turning on us.

The gods aren't turning on us. I just
left the tickets at home.

Now let's go get them.

In the meantime...

The gods, Rory, the gods.

Elwood's a very religious man.

I've been expecting you.

I forgot my tickets.

They're right here.

You left them on the coffee table.

I guess you haven't had time to talk to
your mom yet.

I'm going to get to her, Grandpa, I
swear.

Elwood's kind of freaking me out.

I'm going to do it, Grandpa. It's not
tonight.

Why don't you just take which one of us
is guilty? We don't even care anymore.

No, and how would I possibly figure out
which one of you it was?

Pick a number?

You want to know the truth?

I'm not even mad anymore.

I'm just sad.

After all this family has been through,
we have got to stick together, not hang

each other out to dry.

I can't take it anymore.

I want to stop.

I did it. I did it, all right? I'm the
one who wrecked the car.

Did you hear that?

Your brother is so upset that he is
willing to take the blame for something

he didn't even do.

Just to keep this family together.

Hurry, I'm so proud of you.

Honey, you better hurry. You're going to
be late for the concert.

I'm not going.

I'm the one who wrecked the car.

Really.

You?

Seriously?

You drove the car?

You little... No one would take me to
the mini -mart, so I drove myself.

There's no law against that.

Ah, yes, there is.

It's called the law.

It's up to you. Leave us alone with him
for five minutes.

Give me those tickets.

You are going to the concert.

You go to your room.

I'm really sorry.

You took your mom's car?

I had no idea you were this cool.

I hide it pretty good.

Call me when you get out.

He'll be 40.

I don't know how long I'm grounded for,
but it was worth it.

You're so hot.

What did I tell you about the cell
phone? I gotta go. Give me that.

Well, I don't know, Jake. Let me ask
him. Did you kiss her?

I'm not telling you.

Doubtful.

You have told a lot of stupid stunts,
but never anything like this. What were

you thinking?

I don't know.

I don't know doesn't cut it, Rory. This
is serious.

We both know that you never would have
done anything like this if your dad was

around.

I know.

So why'd you do it? Maybe because
everybody else in this household gets to

whatever they want, and I come last.

Nobody even listens to me. That is not
true. I listen to you. No, you don't. I

tried to confess three times. I got a
car, a girl, and concert tickets.

All right.

Maybe I'm not giving you my full
attention.

But look, Rory, as good as Grandpa and
CJ are at child rearing, I am basically

doing this by myself. And maybe
sometimes you do fall through the

I'm sorry.

Mom, I just want to feel like what I say
matters.

I hear you.

And I promise, from now on, Whatever you
say matters.

Okay.

I don't think I should be grounded
because I've been punished enough.

It doesn't matter.

My friends are going out tomorrow.

It doesn't matter. But there's a concert
next weekend. It doesn't matter.