Original subtitles

Hey, girls. Hey.

Wow.

You went grocery shopping.

Wow, what a pleasant surprise.

Well, we also did the wash. Yes, and took out the trash.

That is so sweet.

You know, I'm not buying you cars.

We know.

We did it because we love you.

Seriously, I'm not buying you a car.

Kiki, Kiki, Moki.

Moki, Aliki.

Moki, Aliki.

I remember that.

That's that secret language you made up when you were little.

Yes. I invented it.

Yeah, because she couldn't quite grasp the one that everyone else was speaking.

Unalaki. That was so cute when you were five.

Muku buku.

I said when you were five.

Now, wait a minute. You know, you only spoke that way when you were up to

something. Mom, we're just playing around, lighten up. Yeah, we're just

Oh, chips.

Fork them over.

You guys did buy a lot of chips. No vegetables?

Uh, the chips are potato and corn. As I recall, vegetable.

So what'd you do today, Dad?

Oh, boy, I had a busy day.

I woke up, I shaved, and here we are.

You know, I started taking that, but Carrie and Bridget won't be up doing

laundry. Oh, Grandpa, yeah, we're sorry about that. So, we got you some earplugs

at the market.

Well, that's very considerate, girls.

I'm not buying your cars.

Just put those in, and you won't be able to hear any annoying sounds.

Hey, Grandpa.

What's shaking besides your hands?

I can't hear him, but my sense of smell is heightened.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, honey. Where you been?

Putting up flyers.

Hey, don't worry. We found Grandpa. He was in the basement the whole time.

I'm going into business.

Car detailing.

Inside and out.

Ten dollars.

Call Rory, the car wash king.

I am the king.

Yeah, well, the king's getting hosed, dude.

Cheap detail goes for at least 30 bucks.

And it's back -breaking work. Believe me, I've watched those guys.

It just means Rory will get more customers.

Forget it. I'm not getting ripped off. I better go get those flyers back before

someone gets me.

Don't anybody get... Home of the car wash king.

I have motor home, sure. Bring her on down.

How much for the best room in the hotel?

How much for the next best?

Next best?

Next best?

Oh, is that one indoors? We'll take that one.

Uh, champagne. Do we like champagne, Carrie? Oh, we love champagne. Okay. Uh,

what's this about champagne?

I can't drink champagne. Can't you see I'm underage?

We've been getting calls like that all day. And seeing little spots?

What, just me?

You know, girls, you're still not off the hook.

Mom, we're not doing anything, okay?

Moo -moo -boka -nocky, steaky -poople -cooka. What the hell is all that

gibberish?

Kate, that is gibberish, isn't it? Yes, Dad. It's just nonsense that the girls

made up to keep secrets from Paul and me. Like when they stole cookies.

But you two are up to something.

Dad, maybe you can help me figure it out. We have cookies?

Don't worry, Aunt Kate. I can figure this out. No different from Army intel.

Putting the pieces together, cracking the code, and then bam!

Yeah, over here.

You're dragging the ace of spades out of his little hidey hole.

Oh, please.

Yes. I heard deaky poo -poo. Sounds familiar.

I think it's a root word meaning to farm, to cultivate, to govern and such.

You're a moron, PJ.

Toodles. Yeah, toodles. Yeah, toodles, toodles.

Possibly an adverb.

PJ, you just keep working on that. Dad, they are up to something. I know it. I

mean... shopping, laundry, cleaning.

Maybe they're just being sweet, girl, because you raised them right. Oh,

Dad, a mom's instincts are never wrong.

Being a parent is a little like being a detective.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

Toodles.

Toodaloo. Toodle, tweetle.

Tweety bird or something.

Hey, Rory, how's the car detailing going?

Doc, I'm quitting.

No, no, no, no, no. No grandson of mine ever quitted anything.

Well, no grandson of mine who's in my will.

Oh, no, I was looking forward to the basement estate.

Grandpa, detailing's way too much work for ten measly bucks.

A man of his word meets his obligations.

Fine, I'll finish the cars I already have booked. But then I'm hanging up my

hoe.

Listen, if you're going to make the kid work his fingers to the bone, at least

you could volunteer to help.

I did help. I just gave him my man -of -his -word speech. That is worth gold.

Sweet. Another treasure I won't inherit.

CJ, did you see that pile of change that was in this guy's ashtray?

Hey, Rue.

Tony, your voice is very accusatory.

I didn't say you stole it. Well, you're looking at me like I did, like you're

eyeballing me. Just put it back!

I've been working 20 hours and I made 20 whole dollars.

I made more than that in five minutes.

In something on ashtray related.

Would you look at that?

Hey, you know what? Works better if you're holding one of these.

59 Studebaker Powerhawk.

This is the first new car I ever owned. It turned as many heads as Laura.

Oh, the times your grandma and I had in this.

Jim and Laura in the back seat.

Getting down.

Jimbo the stud. Down and dirty with Laura.

Gross.

Getting worked up thinking of my grandma.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just going to turn it over and give a little... Uh -oh.

You hear that pinging noise?

Yeah. Turn it off. Leave it alone.

I'll tell you what, guys.

Why don't you just take a break?

I'd be honored if you'd let me wash and wax this one. To your self -honor.

Right on.

By the way, don't forget, wax on.

Wax on.

Like Ralph Macchio.

Remember in The Karate Kid, he was the guy that...

in the shower.

Mom!

Well, I did your laundry. I thought I'd put it away for you.

Thanks, Mom.

Where's your sister?

Out, back in an hour.

Honey, you okay with me putting your stuff away?

You know how I like to respect your privacy.

Nothing, honey. Just the laundry.

You know, mom's stuff.

Bridget said I could.

Bridget, get out of here.

Gotta go.

And now, on to the legs.

Who's that girl with the pretty legs, Bridget?

Thanks for the burger, CJ.

Hey, don't thank me. Thank the guy who left all his change in it.

You're welcome.

Can't wait to get out of the car detailing business and get into where

money is.

Nightcrawlers.

Grandpa,

what did you do?

I took the engine apart.

Did you find any spare change?

Are you insane?

Well, I'm not crazy. I'm trying to find the ping.

I think we should probably let the CAT scan decide that.

Grandpa, I can't believe you. You're supposed to be a man of your word.

supposed to just wash the car.

Would you just... Trust me, Roy, I can put this together blindfolded in an

Last night you had trouble with a straw.

I thought it was a bendy. It kept closing off.

Make sure you have that package available and then call us back.

Oh, and if a tall woman answers the phone, just hang up.

Hey, girls.

What's so funny?

Girls, what's so funny?

out of your car, did it?

No. Damn it.

Dad, you haven't noticed anything unusual going on around here, have you?

I mean, with the girls. They are up to something. I just know it. Oh, well,

don't let them drive you crazy.

I used to worry myself sick over you night after night, and nothing happened,

right?

Right.

Man, karma blows.

Bridget Carey, Carrie Bridget.

What do they covet most, Kate?

Boys? Yeah, many, many boys.

But this still doesn't make any sense. I was just upstairs in their room.

Snooping, Clary?

Cleaning. And I found my suitcase. And then these websites to various hotels.

Hmm.

Suitcase, hotel, boys.

One banana, two banana, three banana, four.

What we have here, Kate, is a trash and dash.

What's that?

An underground party thrown every year by the cool kids at school.

They run a fancy hotel suite, throw a big party, trash the place, then dash

without paying.

Trash and dash.

You did that? I said the cool kids did it.

I asked my friends about it. They're like, no, it's a myth.

You know, Ashley, that makes sense.

Champagne, hotel rooms.

The cool kids didn't invite you.

That's it. Thanks, T .J.

You have to admit it, Kate.

The world's a more interesting place with me in it.

T .J., why are you talking like that? I don't know.

This may be the coolest thing we've ever done. I know. I can't believe we're

actually going to pull it off.

Waddy Mama Bobo. Kiki Mama Bobo.

Okay, so you told room service to have an ice bucket waiting, right? Of course.

What do you think I'm a... Kiki Kiki Coco?

All right, that's it. That's it. No more secret language.

What about our freedom of speech? Oh, you don't have that anymore.

Now, what do you say to that? Wham -a -dam -a -ding -dong?

You just called Bridget a slut.

I'm sorry.

Now, don't... play dumb with me. I know that you are going to that fancy hotel

for that trash and dash party.

Trash and dash?

Then how do you explain those hotel websites you've been surfing all week?

what do you need with champagne?

Oh, and mysterious phone callers calling to see how tall I am.

I'd like an answer, girls.

Mom, what's this weekend?

It's Mother's Day.

This is for you, because we love you.

One deluxe spa weekend with overnight stay in the Tranquility Suite.

Champagne, breakfast in bed.

You can't afford this.

Well, we saved up. Grandpa pitched in and Rory gave us a tent.

Yeah, and CJ gave us a bag of nickels.

So, you're telling me that if I open up my suitcase,

I'm going to find...

All my things.

Oh, girls, I'm so embarrassed.

And I just thought I was such a damn good mother.

So you got a little conceited.

How could I ever have been so suspicious? Thank you, honey. Oh, thank

Yes.

People that talk in code are never hiding anything.

Or are they?

Hmm. Toodaloo.

Tweety bird.

Shannon Tweed.

Shannon Doherty.

90210.

Luke Perry.

Grandpa, you said it would only take an hour.

Roy, did I ever tell you I drove my Royal Deluxe clear across the country?

No. Why don't you tell the guy on the phone who's wondering where his car is?

Yeah. We met an Indian medicine man.

Gee, C .J., can you help me?

Jenny Garth, Gabrielle Gutierrez, Tiffany Thiessen, Tiffany Amber

We are so doing time.

C .J., the owner. Hi.

Hey, we were just making a last sweep of the interior.

What happened? We just kind of dozed off.

And snuggled.

Don't you run away from your feelings.

May I just get my car? I'm in a hurry.

Oh, gross. Grandpa drool.

No, no, no. I didn't deliver on time. It's promised.

It's on the house.

Gotta be a man of my word.

Well, you did a nice job.

Baby looks great.

Here's a tip for you.

There you go. Thanks.

Wait a minute.

What's going on here?

There wasn't any change in there.

I mean, the engine is... Is not pinging?

Yeah.

You know, some chump was going to give me a grand for this old heap.

Well, I'll give you a grand right now. This is my dream car.

Sorry. I mean, listen to that engine.

I wouldn't let old Betsy here go for anything less than five.

Grandpa, he gave me 20 bucks.

Boy, you were right. Being a man of my word really hates... Oh, put a sock in

it.

Hey, girls, the number for the spa is on the bulletin board.

No, come on. Go, have a good time. Not so fast.

Before you go, I think you should know I broke your little card.

Oh, yeah.

And it was so simple.

What is spa spelled backwards?

Apes. And that means monkey business.

It spells apps.

This isn't over.

Well, I'm so exhausted, I'm going straight to bed.

Oh, we're going to do some vacuuming, so you might want to use those earplugs,

Grandpa. Good idea. I've been wanting to test drive those babies.

You enjoy yourself, Kate.

Thanks, Dad. Bye.

Well, that's weird.

Travis Stevens just invited me to stay over.

Travis Stevens?

Isn't that the brother of Bridget's friend Marissa? I didn't even know you

friends. We're not. I hate him.

But he's got a home theater in his basement, and all we've got is a

All righty, then.

What are you girls up to tonight?

We rented a movie.

Oh, what movie?

We rented Evergreen. Here, it's totally fresh and fun. All right. Well, I'm off

to La Bella Pop Bar.

Bye, honey. Bye.

Merci beaucoup.

Have fun.

That is so cute. Mom's trying to make up her own language.

Oh, this feels so good.

Oh, yeah.

I feel as comfortable as a giant baked potato.

All right, well, you ladies relax.

The seaweed and the eucalyptus will soak all the toxins out of your body.

Where are you going?

To preheat the oven.

God, I hope she works here.

Oh, best present my husband ever gave me.

My girls did this for me.

Mother's Day.

Oh, teenagers?

Yeah. It's not like I really deserve it. I haven't been the best mother lately.

Boy, if my teenagers sent me away for the weekend, oh, wouldn't be five

before a party started.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I know. I was in heaven when she took care of my corns.

Corns?

The chips are potato and corn.

We rented evergreen. I hear it's totally fresh and fun. Overnight stay in the

tranquility suite. That's weird.

Travis Stevens just called and invited me to stay over. We're going to do some

vacuuming, so you might want to put your air plugs on, Graham. What do they

cover most, Kate?

Many, many boys.

Oh, those girls.

They are so dead.

Mom?

Mom, is everything okay? Yeah, it's cool.

I, uh, just, um... Well, you know, I realized that I forgot to, um... Forgot

what, Mom?

Trust.

You couldn't even spend a weekend of pampering without thinking we were up to

something.

You're right. You're right. I'm sorry.

Forgive me?

Sure, Mom. Yeah, forgiven.

Just know somebody missed getting a truffle on her pillow tonight.

And that someone was you.

I am a terrible mother. Come here. Come here.

Well, now what should I do? Should I drive back to the spa?

Absolutely. You totally deserve it.

Come here, my angel.

Okay. Bye -bye.

She's gone!

Mom, seriously, this trust thing, you have got to... to work on...

I love you, Sally!

Nice try.

All right, everybody out of here. Say goodbye to Mokey and Aliki. You won't be

seeing them for a while.

Bye -bye.

So, Mom, how'd you know?

How did I know?

Because I am a damn good mother.

Okay, I broke the code.

They're having a party?

That would make more sense.