Original subtitles

So where are you going after the prom? I think I'm gonna go to the after party.

You didn't hear?

His father went back into rehab.

Oh, no, you're kidding.

Oh, but it'll be unsupervised.

No, it's been canceled.

What? Why does everything bad happen to me?

Hey. Hey, well, we better get going if we're gonna skip history.

Hey.

No. I am not giving you any more tongue depressors so you can fling spitballs at

people.

That's not why I'm here.

Although I am out.

No, I'm here because some of the boys in class have come to me with something.

Because I'm cool and I have all the answers.

So you came to me?

Exactly.

As you know, prom is right around the corner and traditionally that's a really

big night for us fellas.

But there's one particular item that the boys have to come prepared with if the

night is going to go well.

If you know what I mean and me thinks you do.

Me thinks I'm in the ballpark.

Go on.

Okay. There's a lot of questions about this item.

Like, where do you get it?

What size?

What are good colors?

And frankly, a lot of boys don't even know how to put them on.

And they want me to help?

Yeah, it's quite a job.

I mean, I still can't put one on without jabbing myself with a pin.

Are we talking about what I think we're talking about?

Yeah, corsages.

Or... What?

Yeah, put some pepper on that.

Okay. And slice some onions.

All right.

Yeah, and lots and lots of garlic powder.

Do you want to make this?

I don't know how to cook.

Hey, so what did you guys think about my article on the paper?

Wow, it was perfect.

we read it, and it was provocative.

As usual. And insightful.

As always.

So, do you agree with my position?

Well, when it started, I didn't.

But by the end, you really had me.

You know what?

It's okay that you didn't read it. I mean, why should you care about issues

I'm passionate about?

Carrie, I didn't know you were a lesbian.

What? Give me that article.

I'm not.

the article is about gay couples at Liberty High who feel unwelcome at the

I was just trying to open some minds and offer some support.

Anyone with half a brain could see that it was written by a straight person.

X -tree, X -tree, Carrie likes the ladies.

Who's Nikki Alcott?

Oh, Nikki Alcott is a very attractive senior who dates a lot of boys.

So she puts out.

Yeah, why is she calling here?

Rory, it's Nikki Alcott.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I was wondering if you wanted to go to the prom with me. Yes, yes.

Give me the phone, give me the phone.

Uh, Rory, I don't know if it's such a good idea for you to date Nikki Alcott.

Have you lost your mind, woman?

Well, come on. Give the boy a night in the big leagues, huh?

He knows right from wrong.

Oh, all right.

But what's a senior want with a freshman anyway?

She's probably worked her way through the other grades.

Not helping.

Nicky!

Hey, Nicky. It's Rory Hennessey here.

Just wanted to call and let you know that it looks like I'm free for prom

What's up, players?

And Grandpa?

Well, Rory just got a date for the prom.

Nikki Alcott.

Nikki Alcott.

Congratulations, Aunt Kate. You're going to be a grandmother.

Hey, I am nervous enough about this prom.

Oh, speaking of the prom, you're right. The guys in my class, they weren't

talking about corsages.

They were talking about prophylactics.

How'd you figure it out?

Well, they set me straight when I told them most girls like to wear them on

their wrists.

You know what I can't wrap my brain around?

When did prom become R -rated?

You know what I can't wrap my brain around?

When did he learn the word prophylactic?

Hi, honey. Hey, guys.

Um, Mom, can I ask you a question? Sure.

You trust me, right?

Why?

Well, don't just jump to something being wrong. I just want to know if you trust

me.

Yes, I trust you.

Why?

Okay, hear me out.

I want to throw a completely safe, alcohol -free after -prom party.

Bridget. In a hotel, it would end at dawn. What? So that kids could drive

in daylight after eating breakfast, the most important meal of the day.

No. Mom, come on, I'm responsible. Don't you have confidence that you raised me

right?

No.

Don't you think this is one of those opportunities for me to prove what a

responsible person I've become?

No.

a car home with a full tank of gas, or not letting the house burn down when you

make a grilled cheese sandwich. Those are opportunities.

Well, can't we just discuss this a little bit more? No, there is absolutely

way you are throwing or attending an after -prom party at a hotel.

Ugh, my life is so unfair. My life is so unfair!

Doesn't she have to pay a royalty to Carrie every time she says that?

Can you believe her?

Don't you think you're a little hard on her, Kate? No.

I think I was just hard enough.

That's what they need to save them from the world. I don't think she needs all

that much saving. I mean, she's a really good girl.

Yes, she is.

She's also a teenage girl.

And I was one, and I know what they're capable of. Yeah, well, I had two

girls, and I think I know what they're capable of.

Oh, yeah? You want to know what we really did on our prom night?

I do know.

The gym floor opened up, you fell in the pool, and you spent four hours drying

off.

I bought it then, and I buy it now.

Gary? Yeah.

Hi, I'm Monica.

Oh, yeah, you play on the cross, right?

The enforcer.

That's me.

You're really good.

Thanks. Listen, I read your article about gays and the prom, and it really

to me.

Thank you.

It's something I'm really passionate about.

Me too.

So, about the prom, I was wondering if you wanted to take the next step.

Turn a few heads for the cause.

Are you asking me to the prom?

Yeah. What do you think?

Oh, my God. What a statement that would make.

Is that a yes?

That's a big yes.

Great. Hey, honey.

Oh, hey, Mom. This is Monica. She's my prom date.

People are going to be talking about that, aren't they?

I think they will.

Hi, Monica. Nice to meet you. You too.

Have her home by midnight.

Hi, honey.

Whatever.

What was that about? My mom won't let me throw the after party.

You mean you asked her? Yeah, I had this stupid idea that she might actually

trust me.

Well, we better get going if we're going to skip math.

Hey, Rory.

Hey, Mom.

Tell me this is one of your teachers.

Mom, I'd like you to meet Nikki Alcott.

Oh, sure, Nikki.

Nice to meet you.

I hear you're taking my little fella to the prom.

Yes, I sure am, and I can't wait.

There's Tennessee. Where have you been hiding him?

Hub Scout.

Bye, Mom.

Hey.

Hey. Okay, now I'm thinking the guys were talking about corsages.

What? Because someone said, do you have to refrigerate them to keep them fresh?

It's got to be flowers, right?

I don't know, CJ.

But, you know, this whole prom thing, it's really getting to me.

Oh, that's right. I heard you put the kibosh on Bridget's big after party.

Yeah, you're darn right I did.

Well, like, hey, you know, you can slow these kids down, but you can't stop

them. It's like spraying deodorant on a cockroach.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you know, it screws them up at first. They're like...

Pretty soon they're doing their cockroach thing again.

The point is, these kids are going to have a party somewhere.

You might as well just rent the hotel room for them yourself.

Oh, are you kidding? There's no way I'm renting them a hotel room. Well, if you

don't get them a place to party, someone else will.

Attention, students.

After the prom, this year's safe and sane, but fun, fun, fun, school

after -party will be held at the home of Bridget...

Carrie, and Rory Hennessey. So, let the alcohol -free good times roll.

Oh. My.

God. Sweet.

Nurse Hennessey, this is the coolest party I've ever been to.

Why do I believe that?

Listen, here's my adrenaline shot.

Just in case I go crazy and eat a peanut.

Party on, Dwayne.

Hi.

Hi, Drew. Hi, sweetie. Hello.

Hi. Yeah. Hey, Drew.

Good Lord, son. Is that Nicky Alcott?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

I'm just so damn proud of you.

Hot sticker?

Shrimp puff?

I don't have those. They're just nicknames I made up for you two.

We're fine, CJ.

Actually, I'm going to grab a drink. Do you want something?

Oh, no, I'm good.

CJ,

you should have seen us tonight. The minute we walked into prom, everyone was

buzzing. Well, why didn't you bring that punch bowl to this party?

No, I'm being serious, CJ. We really made a difference. I see you brought

date to the after party. Ooh la la, I know what that means.

There's no ooh -la -la. We're making a political statement. No, no.

Prom was a political statement. The after party's ooh -la -la.

And you know what? I think Monica might awanaka.

No, she won't.

Hope you're right, Shrimp Pop.

Oh, I love this song.

Let's dance.

Really? I mean, didn't we make a point at the prom?

Yeah.

lame after party.

It is not a lame party.

Everybody's just starting to get down with it.

I'm going to go to bed.

I don't want to be seen at this freak show.

Freak show?

What's your favorite thing about potato chips?

Cocktail whinny? Stop calling me that.

PJ, is this party a total failure?

No, not at all. You've discovered the cure for fun.

Bridget is acting like I ruined her entire life. No, just her social life.

Well, I don't care. You know, I did what I thought was right. And her reputation

and her prom night.

Well, I didn't mean to do all that.

And her chance to be in Peanut Boy's documentary.

Maybe there's something I can do to cheer her up.

Take her to the Heffalump movie. I laugh start to finish.

All right, I'm just going to go talk to her. You know what?

She's not that anxious to see you right now. Why don't you let her cool off, and

then I'll go test the waters in a while.

Thanks.

I don't know why I like potato chips. I just like them.

Great party.

Bridget.

Bridget?

Aha.

All right, you want a mope, I get it.

Not much of a way to spend your prom night, though.

In the dark, sheets pulled over your head.

Although that's pretty much how I spent mine.

Except I was hog -tied in the back of a pickup truck.

Ever been left for dead in Tijuana?

Come on, that's kind of funny.

Look, don't be like this. Come on, get up your...

Okay,

now this is exactly like my prom.

Bridget, you're in big trouble, young lady. You lied to your mother.

You borrowed my good wig.

And you made me share a painful memory with a volleyball.

Where are you?

I'm at the after party, my after party. You're not going to tell mom, are you?

Not if you get your butt back here right now.

I can't really...

Well, that's not your problem.

You're right, it's yours. I kind of booked the hotel under your credit card.

What was that?

Um, someone just moved the coffee table. You're making room to dance.

Where'd they move it to?

The pool.

You know what?

You tell those hooligans to stay put.

Because I'm going to get down there and deal with those kids DJ style.

Drop it, you hooligans!

We did.

Get another one.

Hello?

Aunt Kate, why are you calling?

Well, you went upstairs to check on Bridget. I haven't seen you since.

Oh, Bridget's fine.

She's in really good hands right now.

Oh, I'm not worried about Bridget.

She has a good head on her shoulders.

Uh, I'm in Bridget's room.

No. Uh, I think I'm in trouble.

Yeah, you sure are.

Aunt Kate, seriously, I think I'm in trouble.

Hey,

Gramps. Hi, sweetie.

Well, how's your political statement going?

Great, great.

Not so great? Not so great.

It's starting to get a little complicated. I'm afraid Monica may be

wrong impression. I think she likes me.

Well, I always felt when things got confusing between people, you just tell

truth. Yeah, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

You can do what I used to do.

Tell her you already have a girlfriend.

Grandpa.

There you are.

I brought you your drink.

Thank you. Yeah, well, I think I'll leave you too. I promised Dwayne I'd

him my thoughts on ranch dip.

I think we really shook him up tonight.

Yeah, I think everyone's a little shaken up. I'm having a good time.

Carrie, you're a really special person.

Um, Monica, look, I want to be straight with you.

Which brings me to my next point.

As two gay women, how do you feel about pretzels?

I'm not gay.

He's gay.

I'm not gay. You're gay. No, I'm sure about this. I'm not gay.

Why'd you ask me the problem?

To support the cause.

Why did you say yes? To support the cause.

Wait, then if we're not gay, what kind of statement are we making?

Do you think you guys could kiss?

I promised the A .V. Club I'd come back with something.

Want to sneak up to my room?

Rory, I know I have a reputation.

I haven't heard anything.

Well, the reason I've gone out with so many guys is because I was searching for

something. But now my search is over.

Really?

Being with you, it's made me feel something.

I never thought I would feel before.

I feel the same way. I'm gay.

Me too.

What?

Well, when I saw Carrie and Monica tonight, it all made sense, you know?

They inspired me to be true to myself.

Well, that sucks.

I mean, for me it sucks.

Listen, you will always be the one who made it clear that I never want to be

with a guy.

That really sucks.

I just mean that if I can't be attracted to a guy as sweet and cute as you, then

I'm definitely not attracted to guys.

I guess it makes it a little better.

Anything?

Um, Lori, would you mind if I talk to Carrie for a little bit?

Uh, I think there's something you should know about Carrie. Whatever it is, I'll

discover it on my own.

Fine.

I told you not to have a party.

Now, where is everybody?

Well, it got out of control, so I shut it down. I was just cleaning up.

Oh, I'm so glad.

You cleaned up after the party I told you not to have.

Bridget, you are in so much trouble.

I know. I'm sorry. Don't argue with me.

I told you not to have a party, and you disobeyed me. You wouldn't even give me

a chance. You wouldn't even talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. I

lived it. I was a teenager once. I know what goes on. I know about the drinking

and experimenting with drugs.

which my friends did while I watched Horrified.

Mom, I don't drink, I've never done drugs, and I'm still a virgin.

I'm not you.

I never thought you were.

Okay, maybe I did.

All right, I did.

Mom, look, you taught me well, and I listened.

I just wish you'd listen to me more.

Well, I do.

I want to listen more. It's just that... That when you tell me that you're going

to have an after -prom party in a hotel, all I can think is that you're going to

overdose on drugs and have indiscriminate sex.

Is that what being a mom is like?

Yes.

It's the voices. The constant voices of doom.

How about the voices that say, Bridget is student body president. Bridget

really hard this year. I know you have, honey.

It's just that those voices get drowned out by...

Me thinking that you're going to do what I did when I was a teenager.

Okay.

But if you knew I wasn't me being you back then, only me being me right now,

would you have let me throw this party?

Would you have let the responsible Bridget throw the party?

Have you seen the Heffalump movie yet?

What?

I think it's time we go home.

Yeah, you're right. Now that we've settled this, your anger and

is punishment enough.

Nice try.

How long? A month.

Oh, well, there go those crazy voices again. Oh, no, the crazy voices are

to lock her in a cage.

Eh, still not as bad as my prom night.