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-Encoded by LEET-
(ominous music)
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(ominous music continues)
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00:00:18,869 --> 00:00:22,369
(ominous music continues)
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00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:28,391
(gate clinks and squeaks)
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(ominous music continues)
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(ominous music continues)
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(ominous music continues)
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(electricity crackling)
(ominous music continues)
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- [Tim] Ow, ow, ow! Fuck!
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00:01:04,427 --> 00:01:06,324
(Tim grunts)
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00:01:06,324 --> 00:01:08,471
(electricity crackling)
(ominous music intensifies)
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00:01:08,471 --> 00:01:10,731
Oh, fuck! God damn it!
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00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:12,314
Why is that so hot?
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(intense music continues)
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(Tim exhales deeply)
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(suspenseful music)
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(suspenseful music continues)
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(switch clicks)
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(suspenseful music continues)
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00:01:58,939 --> 00:02:00,331
(switches clicking)
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00:02:00,331 --> 00:02:03,664
(electricity crackling)
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00:02:07,662 --> 00:02:12,662
(switch clicks)
(electricity buzzing)
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(switch clicks)
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(machine parts slamming)
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(lever clunks)
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(electricity crackling)
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(lever rattling)
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(machine hisses and creaks)
(suspenseful music continues)
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(machine creaks and rattles)
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(light dings)
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(Tim chuckles)
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- It's okay. Just, uh...
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Thanks, I'm just looking for,
uh, looking for an affidavit.
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You may have noticed in the news,
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I am part of a pretty rough
divorce, and it is, uh...
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It's a real motherfucker, so uh, I am not-
37
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- Going live in 10.
- (sighs) Fuck.
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00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,702
We gotta get going, so...
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By the way, she's, uh, she's a witch.
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I don't know if you believe in witches,
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but I think she's got a
cauldron and everything.
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Welcome, questioners, truth seekers,
43
00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:23,520
and good ol' fashioned angry Americans.
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00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:24,450
Welcome to "The Rant"!
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00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:29,100
I'm James Bunratty, and
this is "Bunratty's Rants".
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00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:31,950
Now, I don't need to tell you folks
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00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:35,070
what's wrong with the broken
scientific establishment.
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00:03:35,070 --> 00:03:36,180
Of course, the people that bought it,
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00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:37,380
I'm sure they think it's working great,
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but it is not for us.
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It is not for real Americans.
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00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:43,320
That's why I think you're
gonna love today's guest.
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00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,840
He is an alternative science guy.
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00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,000
He knows how to think
outside the paradigm.
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He has witnessed the corruption firsthand,
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00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,910
and I think that you are
going to be shocked today,
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truth seekers, that's right.
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Well, anyway, what I'm saying is
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what you're going to probably
say is pretty shocking
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00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,500
to a lot of people that
don't listen to the show.
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00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,900
And to those newbies, I just wanna say,
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00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:05,157
welcome to "The Rant".
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(patriotic music)
(crowd cheering)
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00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:11,760
Let's get right into it.
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Dr. Tim Travers, I am
fascinated by your work.
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00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:19,743
Tell us exactly what the
Time Travelers Paradox is.
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00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:24,363
Dr. Travers?
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00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:29,079
- Oh, (clears throat) right.
- Welcome to the show.
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- A few corrections there.
Uh, one, I'm not a doctor.
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And two, while I'm not mainstream,
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I am definitely not an
"alternative" scientist.
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00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:36,900
- The difference being?
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- One is for bored
housewives with crystals
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and closet racists.
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(James laughs)
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- Oh, we got a show today!
Do we not, out there?
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That's right. Yeah, we
can have some fun here.
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That was a good one.
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But my audience knows
who the man of truth is.
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And who is that?
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- Bunratty, Bunratty!
(group cheering)
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- James Bunratty.
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Now, besides, fast talker,
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how would you know the difference?
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You just said yourself that
you weren't a real doctor.
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00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:06,750
- I was kicked out of school
for behavioral reasons,
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00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,220
but my grades were excellent.
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- Yeah. Establishment elites, am I right?
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I mean, who decided that they
were the purveyors of truth?
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- Education?
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00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:16,040
Peer review? Uh...
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Hygiene?
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- Okay.
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00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:25,290
You're arguing that
time travel is possible,
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00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:27,840
which is, even for this
show, quite out there.
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00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:30,720
So, why don't you just,
uh, hold your roll, pal?
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- Well, I am sitting in a
radio station in the year 2026,
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00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:35,850
so I think that it might be possible.
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00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:37,350
Is that, is that a reel-to-reel?
100
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,183
- Yes!
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00:05:38,183 --> 00:05:41,940
That's a reel-to-reel given to
me by Carl Sagan's assistant!
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I married her too, all right?
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00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,420
Yeah, so I didn't invite you on this show
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to insult my audience, or me, or my team.
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- No, you invited me
because Mothman was busy
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and I was bored.
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- The Time Travelers Paradox.
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Tell us about it.
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- Hm.
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It's a thought experiment.
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00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:02,070
How much do you need me to dumb this down?
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00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,330
- Just a little bit.
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00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,650
- Agree to disagree.
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First, a scientist makes a time machine.
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(ominous music)
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That loops back exactly
one minute into the past.
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- Oh, is that all?
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- Then the scientist
kills his younger self.
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- As he does.
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(ominous music continues)
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(ominous music continues)
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- Oh!
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00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,854
Yeah!
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00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:38,021
(Tim exhales sharply)
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(gun cocks)
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(Tim sighs)
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00:06:41,888 --> 00:06:45,388
(ominous music continues)
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(gun fires)
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00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:54,150
Now you have a man who
should not and cannot exist.
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Yet, somehow does.
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(blood dripping)
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(Tim sighs)
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That is the paradox.
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Paradoxes are impossible.
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- Man, you are very smart,
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but I would hate to go to dinner with you.
137
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If you're just joining us, we
have not-doctor Tim Travers.
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00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:16,710
And while you're at it,
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00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:19,980
pick up some of Bunratty's Blast Vitamins.
140
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,890
And while we're there, we
have our own version of HGH.
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It's not the dangerous kind
that Sylvester Stallone uses.
142
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No, it is Bunratty's HGA.
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That's right, HGA. We'll be right back.
144
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Great job, man.
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00:07:31,281 --> 00:07:34,100
(bright electronic music)
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(gun fires rapidly)
(bullet casings clattering)
147
00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:39,813
- Well, shit.
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00:07:40,737 --> 00:07:43,987
(dramatic synth music)
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(Tim clearing throat)
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(Tim blows into recorder)
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Um...
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Observation one. Uh...
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00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:01,167
Light, or at least the
perception of light,
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00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:03,990
can only move one way through the machine.
155
00:08:03,990 --> 00:08:06,960
I can see into the past, but
can't see into the future.
156
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,410
That makes sense, intuitively. Um...
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Observation two.
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The fuck!
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(Tim chuckles)
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I have, um, murdered my younger self,
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and, and causality
appears to be unaffected,
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like, like completely
unaffected, which makes no sense.
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00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,330
I refer you to my
aforementioned, "The fuck!"
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Theory one. Um...
(bell chimes)
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Time travel has, has
not taken place at all.
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Instead, I have been
167
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transported to a identical universe.
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(bell chimes)
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Problematic theory. Um... (chuckles)
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00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:55,170
Since that the machine might
work as a fancy teleporter,
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sending me to a, by wild coincidence,
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place that just so happens
to be indistinguishable
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from my own past, seems unlikely.
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00:09:02,581 --> 00:09:05,509
(stamp thuds)
175
00:09:05,509 --> 00:09:06,342
Hmm.
176
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,361
Theory two.
(bell chimes)
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00:09:10,361 --> 00:09:12,947
(Tim sighs)
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00:09:12,947 --> 00:09:15,930
I have time traveled in
the conventional sense.
179
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:20,097
Please excuse my abuse of
the word "conventional".
180
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:24,540
Um... (sighs)
181
00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:26,749
Time is a dimension in its own right.
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00:09:26,749 --> 00:09:27,582
(bell chimes)
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Therefore, causality must be
limited by the speed of light,
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00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:35,592
which prevents the paradox
from ever catching up.
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(bell chimes)
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00:09:38,552 --> 00:09:40,230
(Tim chuckles)
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How the hell am I even
supposed to test that?
188
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,235
(stamp thuds)
189
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,568
(Tim sighs)
190
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Theory three. Um...
(bell chimes)
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(Tim breathes deeply)
192
00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:57,660
Uh, my presence has spawned a
193
00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:59,710
new universe via my
194
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,068
interaction with it.
195
00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:04,120
(bell chimes)
196
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:04,953
Now, that's...
197
00:10:04,953 --> 00:10:06,130
That's an interesting one.
198
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,080
If my interaction is the seed,
then, then from my frame,
199
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,240
no other traveler could
impact my timeline.
200
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,640
But, but, but the
traveler could continually
201
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:15,960
impact other timelines.
202
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,240
Now, that, that's testable!
203
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,553
I just, I just need to have a...
204
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:22,427
I just, I just need to
repeat the experiment!
205
00:10:22,427 --> 00:10:24,602
(gun fires)
(blood splatters)
206
00:10:24,602 --> 00:10:26,190
(body thumps)
(footsteps clacking)
207
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,023
(Tim chuckles)
208
00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:28,470
- Now we're getting somewhere!
209
00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:31,329
As theorized, my own
timeline remains unaffected!
210
00:10:31,329 --> 00:10:33,929
(phone vibrates and chirps)
(Tim gasps)
211
00:10:33,929 --> 00:10:38,929
(phone vibrates and chirps)
Oh. (chuckles)
212
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:45,828
Oh, crap. Forgot about that.
213
00:10:45,828 --> 00:10:47,670
Now there's a thought.
- Now we're getting somewhere!
214
00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:50,095
As theorized, my own
timeline remains unaffected!
215
00:10:50,095 --> 00:10:51,870
(gun fires)
(Beta Tim groans)
216
00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:52,703
- Sorry.
217
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,323
- What the hell, man?
218
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,053
- It was an impulse.
219
00:10:57,053 --> 00:10:59,790
I was trying to catch myself by surprise.
220
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:00,930
- That's moronic!
221
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:01,893
- Don't be a dick.
222
00:11:02,939 --> 00:11:03,990
(gun clicks)
(Beta Tim whimpers)
223
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:04,833
Right.
- Right.
224
00:11:05,909 --> 00:11:08,100
(Beta Tim groans)
225
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,688
Twice!
226
00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:12,660
(Beta Tim pants and moans)
(gun clicking)
227
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:13,928
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
228
00:11:13,928 --> 00:11:15,848
(gun fires)
229
00:11:15,848 --> 00:11:18,021
(Tim sighs)
230
00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:21,072
(phone vibrates and chirps)
231
00:11:21,072 --> 00:11:23,672
(phone vibrates and chirps)
(eerie music)
232
00:11:23,672 --> 00:11:26,581
- Right. (groans)
233
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:27,414
Eww.
234
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,276
No, no. Date, date!
235
00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:39,614
(moody synth music)
236
00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:48,245
(moody synth music continues)
237
00:11:48,245 --> 00:11:51,745
(electric sign crackling)
238
00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:55,735
(patrons chattering)
(lively bar music)
239
00:11:55,735 --> 00:11:58,090
- Hey! Excuse you, fucko!
240
00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,700
Yeah, 20 minutes late.
241
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,402
Bet ya five bucks he doesn't even show up.
242
00:12:02,402 --> 00:12:03,235
Nah, ah, ah, ah.
243
00:12:03,235 --> 00:12:04,373
That's mine. That's yours.
244
00:12:06,181 --> 00:12:08,438
- Wow. Are you, uh...
245
00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:10,677
Are you like this all the time?
246
00:12:10,677 --> 00:12:11,566
- Yep.
247
00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:12,867
- Kinda like it. (chuckles)
248
00:12:12,867 --> 00:12:15,030
- That's real.
- Dr. Travers?
249
00:12:15,030 --> 00:12:16,590
- Still not a doctor.
- Yeah, whatever.
250
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:19,080
Listen. You are belittling James a lot.
251
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,330
He doesn't like it. Hell, he hates it.
252
00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:24,360
So, please, on behalf of
the entire production staff-
253
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,148
- [James] Well, he's been
dead for like 44 years.
254
00:12:27,148 --> 00:12:27,981
- Keep doing it.
255
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:28,814
- [James] You ever been in
a room with Paul McCartney?
256
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:29,647
- It is delicious.
257
00:12:29,647 --> 00:12:31,717
- Exactly!
(Delilah giggles)
258
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:34,290
"Defamation"? (sighs)
What about free speech?
259
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:35,670
Well, of course I made it up!
260
00:12:35,670 --> 00:12:36,507
What does that have to do with anything?
261
00:12:36,507 --> 00:12:39,240
- You go, James! We believe in you.
262
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,580
Hm. (chuckles) I eat this shit up.
263
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:43,557
- So, you're not into the whole-
264
00:12:43,557 --> 00:12:46,533
- Mm, bored housewives with
crystals and closet racists?
265
00:12:47,594 --> 00:12:48,427
Nah, no.
266
00:12:48,427 --> 00:12:50,880
I thought this would be
a great post-college gig
267
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,153
while I figured out what to
do with my life, but, um,
268
00:12:54,153 --> 00:12:57,390
that was 15 years ago,
because time is a cruel bitch.
269
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:58,437
- [James] Yeah, it's on the Moon!
270
00:12:58,437 --> 00:12:59,270
By the moon, I mean my ass.
271
00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:00,103
- I'm Delilah.
272
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:02,160
I stopped talking.
273
00:13:03,488 --> 00:13:05,250
- What?
- Yeah, a while ago.
274
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:06,810
I'm sorry, is...
275
00:13:06,810 --> 00:13:07,820
Is my life story boring to you,
276
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,180
or are you just incredibly rude?
277
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:10,830
- Not mutually exclusive.
278
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:12,000
- Wow!
279
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,230
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
280
00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:15,300
I am distracted, but it's
not because you're boring.
281
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,100
You're not, you're not boring.
282
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:20,040
Um, today was just a weird day.
283
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,840
- How weird was your day?
284
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,272
- Uh, honest answer?
285
00:13:24,272 --> 00:13:25,105
- Yeah.
286
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:28,413
- Well, today, I activated a time machine
287
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:31,050
that is powered by nuclear materials
288
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:34,620
that were stolen from a
terrorist organization.
289
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:35,630
And, uh...
290
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:38,760
Then I went back in time
and killed my younger self
291
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:42,753
repeatedly, and I have no
idea how that's possible.
292
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:46,962
- I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
293
00:13:46,962 --> 00:13:47,973
- What? What?
- See?
294
00:13:47,973 --> 00:13:49,860
It's rude, and I was listening.
295
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,263
Great bit. (chuckles)
296
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:54,663
You're not doing a bit.
297
00:13:56,810 --> 00:13:58,980
(Delilah chuckles)
298
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,690
(Delilah laughs)
299
00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:02,610
Okay. All right.
300
00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:04,350
- Yeah, I've got eyes on him.
301
00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:05,733
Doesn't look like much.
302
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,160
Just a waiting game now.
303
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,594
Oh, yes. Hi.
304
00:14:09,594 --> 00:14:12,120
Uh, I'll have a Shirley
Temple, easy on the grenadine.
305
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,220
- Sure.
- Thank you very much.
306
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,990
- You know, um...
307
00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:17,970
Seeing you make James suffer was fun,
308
00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:20,556
but this whole mad scientist shtick
309
00:14:20,556 --> 00:14:23,100
it's like, it's like performance art.
310
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,458
I'm just waiting for the
cameras to pop out. (chuckles)
311
00:14:25,458 --> 00:14:26,291
- I avoid cameras.
312
00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:27,747
- Are your friends in on this?
313
00:14:27,747 --> 00:14:28,797
- I don't have friends.
314
00:14:28,797 --> 00:14:30,483
- Oh, gross. Not even as a kid?
315
00:14:32,556 --> 00:14:35,383
(upbeat rock music)
(child whimpering)
316
00:14:35,383 --> 00:14:36,780
(door clicks open)
317
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:39,210
- Timothy Oliphant Travers!
318
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:41,190
Are those real?
- No, Mom!
319
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:44,254
I'm just using the electric potato.
320
00:14:44,254 --> 00:14:45,087
- All right.
321
00:14:45,087 --> 00:14:47,130
I do not want a repeat of
the Guinea pig incident!
322
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:48,930
Only shock the potato.
323
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,283
- Yes, Mother.
324
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,569
(child whimpering)
325
00:14:53,569 --> 00:14:55,203
(upbeat rock music continues)
326
00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:59,018
(child screaming)
(light bulb buzzing)
327
00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:01,470
- Oh, I'm gonna have to dig another hole.
328
00:15:01,470 --> 00:15:05,433
- Went through a lot of
friends, but that's fine.
329
00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:09,090
Learning how to be by yourself
is a reward of its own.
330
00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:10,470
- You know, to a point, but,
331
00:15:10,470 --> 00:15:12,067
it's hard to take that armor off.
332
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:15,210
- Some people don't have the choice, so...
333
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:18,510
It's also fine, because I
don't need other people.
334
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:19,620
- Hm!
335
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:20,670
That's a thing that people say,
336
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,877
when they think they're
better and smarter.
337
00:15:22,877 --> 00:15:25,320
- I didn't mean it like that,
but I am better and smarter.
338
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:30,320
Look. I don't share other
people's values in the abstract.
339
00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:32,790
Take time travel.
340
00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:35,782
A paradox will literally break reality,
341
00:15:35,782 --> 00:15:37,620
and a reality broken can be rewritten.
342
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:40,590
- Ominous, but yeah, I get it.
343
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:43,590
You hate that people wanna
use it for time tourism.
344
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:46,890
Oh, kinda like when a lady
discovers she has superpowers,
345
00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:49,260
and it's like, "Oh, no, but
what, what does this mean
346
00:15:49,260 --> 00:15:50,580
for my job and relationship?"
347
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:53,220
And I'm like, "Bitch,
you've got superpowers!"
348
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,960
Yeah! Like, laser your boss to death!
349
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,450
Throw your loser boyfriend
into the sun and, and,
350
00:15:57,450 --> 00:16:00,240
and go conquer the world,
like a sane person.
351
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,040
- Exactly. Thank you.
(Delilah chuckles)
352
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,300
- Crush the peasants.
353
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,800
- It's misplaced priorities.
354
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,800
It's like, you know, working
on a, on a, on a work project
355
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,110
when someone is actively
trying to kill you.
356
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:11,670
- Right, right, or going on a date,
357
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,129
when you're about to conquer the world.
358
00:16:13,129 --> 00:16:15,540
- (chuckles) Right.
- What're you doing?
359
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:16,373
But what?
360
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:21,720
- You are absolutely right.
361
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,347
- Did, did I say that? I,
I don't think I said that.
362
00:16:24,347 --> 00:16:26,010
I said something about crushing peasants,
363
00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:27,030
but that was more for me.
364
00:16:27,030 --> 00:16:28,660
- I need to get back to the lab.
365
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:29,970
- What? Right, right now?
366
00:16:29,970 --> 00:16:30,803
- Yeah.
367
00:16:32,170 --> 00:16:33,720
- You may not know this,
but a woman driving
368
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,480
halfway across the city in
the middle of murderville
369
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,730
is kind of a, it's kind
of a leap of faith.
370
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,263
That's not lost on you?
371
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:42,920
- It is not.
- So...
372
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,220
You're, you're, you're
joking, right? (chuckles)
373
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:48,720
You're trolling me for a goof,
374
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,340
because you're an ass like that.
375
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,873
- I am, but I am not.
376
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,800
- Well, I don't have to be polite anymore
377
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,300
because you're the one
who's standing me up.
378
00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:00,810
So, figure out where you are
on the spectrum, dick weed,
379
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,253
and then go fuck yourself!
380
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:04,792
Fuck off.
381
00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:05,814
Bye!
382
00:17:05,814 --> 00:17:08,280
Fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you!
383
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,480
Fuck you guys, too!
384
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,370
Hey, you, with the French braid! You suck!
385
00:17:11,370 --> 00:17:12,210
Fuck off!
386
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,700
This fuckin' bar is shit!
387
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,160
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
388
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,430
- Is she pointing to us?
- Fuck you!
389
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,033
- [Patron] Oh, my God.
390
00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:22,324
(metal clangs)
- Ow!
391
00:17:22,324 --> 00:17:23,453
(door slams)
392
00:17:23,453 --> 00:17:26,085
(fingertips tapping)
393
00:17:26,085 --> 00:17:27,480
- (chuckles) I'm not, um...
394
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,190
I've been checked.
395
00:17:29,190 --> 00:17:30,601
Many times.
396
00:17:30,601 --> 00:17:31,980
(patron coughs)
397
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,210
Um...
398
00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:35,910
At worst, it's a, it's a
case of mild psychosis.
399
00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:37,740
Which is unrelated. So, you know what?
400
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:40,050
I don't need the judgment right now.
401
00:17:40,050 --> 00:17:42,210
And also, honestly, it's
kinda fucked up that you would
402
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,970
make fun of somebody for
being on the spectrum.
403
00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:46,296
Fuck! Just fuck off!
404
00:17:46,296 --> 00:17:49,560
(footsteps clacking)
405
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,753
- But I didn't say anything.
406
00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:55,602
- [Patron] You also forgot to charge them.
407
00:17:55,602 --> 00:17:59,151
- Crap!
408
00:17:59,151 --> 00:18:02,401
(brooding synth music)
409
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,168
(Tim sighs)
410
00:18:07,168 --> 00:18:08,970
(glass clunks)
411
00:18:08,970 --> 00:18:10,557
- Had to know, you know?
412
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:13,203
(bottle slams)
413
00:18:13,203 --> 00:18:15,423
Maybe there was something there.
414
00:18:22,192 --> 00:18:24,379
(Tim sighs)
415
00:18:24,379 --> 00:18:25,769
(Tim chuckles)
416
00:18:25,769 --> 00:18:26,819
Why am I telling you?
417
00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:31,593
You're just a localized
wormhole, not a person.
418
00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:36,381
(Tim sighs)
419
00:18:37,643 --> 00:18:39,210
I know, I know, I know.
420
00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:41,457
Back to work! (chuckles)
421
00:18:41,457 --> 00:18:43,050
(Tim sighs)
422
00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:43,883
Alone.
423
00:18:47,175 --> 00:18:49,198
(brooding synth music continues)
424
00:18:49,198 --> 00:18:51,060
(Tim sighs)
425
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:51,893
Boys.
426
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:58,350
(glass clunks)
427
00:18:58,350 --> 00:18:59,970
First rule of science!
428
00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:01,233
Repeat the experiment.
429
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,783
Verify results.
430
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,910
This is gonna suck.
431
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,340
(gun fires)
432
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,617
- You did say this was gonna suck.
433
00:19:13,617 --> 00:19:14,670
(gun fires)
434
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,240
- Motherfucker!
435
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,644
Come on!
(guns firing)
436
00:19:18,644 --> 00:19:19,484
- Ow!
437
00:19:19,484 --> 00:19:20,983
Why did you...
(gun fires)
438
00:19:20,983 --> 00:19:22,114
- Come on, now!
(gun fires)
439
00:19:22,114 --> 00:19:23,092
Oh!
440
00:19:23,092 --> 00:19:27,222
(phone vibrates and chirps)
441
00:19:27,222 --> 00:19:28,513
(Tim chuckling)
(gun fires)
442
00:19:28,513 --> 00:19:30,334
- Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay.
443
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:31,167
Okay, all right.
444
00:19:32,324 --> 00:19:33,900
(sighs) How about this?
445
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,630
Hypothetically, let's
say you make it work.
446
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:38,670
You break the world, for no point,
447
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:41,370
but to prove that you can do it.
448
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:42,203
What then?
449
00:19:42,203 --> 00:19:44,290
Is a time machine that goes
back one minute useful?
450
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:45,840
- That, that is a good question.
451
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,670
- Yeah, well, this is all about questions.
452
00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:49,200
- Not good ones.
453
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,050
Results prove...
(dark synth music)
454
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:54,933
Consistent.
455
00:19:56,911 --> 00:19:58,410
(Tim grunts)
456
00:19:58,410 --> 00:20:03,410
30-plus loops and still no
perceivable paradox, so...
457
00:20:07,159 --> 00:20:08,519
(Tim groans)
458
00:20:08,519 --> 00:20:09,352
Fuck.
459
00:20:10,437 --> 00:20:12,770
(Tim sighs)
460
00:20:18,127 --> 00:20:19,294
Hold, hold on.
461
00:20:20,730 --> 00:20:23,060
Hold on.
- Results prove consistent.
462
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:29,090
30-plus loops and still no
perceivable paradox, so...
463
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:31,560
(Gamma Tim gasps and yelps)
- Yes, hi.
464
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,390
Um, here's where I'm at on this.
465
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:34,980
We can safely conclude
the observer's frame
466
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:36,270
cannot be impacted.
467
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:37,680
- You're, you're impacting me right now.
468
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:38,880
- Don't interrupt.
469
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,110
What we're testing is theory two,
470
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:42,600
in which case, you didn't exist
until about 10 seconds ago,
471
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:43,860
but now that you do, however,
472
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,693
your frame cannot be impacted again.
473
00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:47,423
- Right.
474
00:20:48,482 --> 00:20:49,403
- So, how do I test that?
475
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:52,762
- Got it. You kill me.
476
00:20:52,762 --> 00:20:54,372
Um...
477
00:20:54,372 --> 00:20:59,372
- No, no, no, no! Not,
not this me. (chuckles)
478
00:20:59,882 --> 00:21:03,459
- [Past Tim] You, however,
your frame cannot be impacted.
479
00:21:03,459 --> 00:21:05,001
- That me.
480
00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:06,481
- How do test that?
(gun cocks)
481
00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:07,738
- I got it. You kill me.
482
00:21:07,738 --> 00:21:09,738
Not, not this me.
483
00:21:09,738 --> 00:21:10,571
(gun fires)
484
00:21:10,571 --> 00:21:13,020
- Jesus!
(body thumps)
485
00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:16,050
- Okay, so that version of me died,
486
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:19,020
but I didn't, so, that holds.
487
00:21:19,020 --> 00:21:21,450
- I'm sorry, what, what, what holds?
488
00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:24,570
- Oh, he affected my timeline,
and I wanted to prove
489
00:21:24,570 --> 00:21:26,370
that he couldn't do it a
second time, which of course-
490
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:28,140
- Supports theory three. I get it.
491
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:29,403
Don't spoon feed me.
492
00:21:30,919 --> 00:21:32,580
(Tim sighs)
493
00:21:32,580 --> 00:21:34,253
- Does everybody else want a drink?
494
00:21:35,770 --> 00:21:37,333
(upbeat synth music)
495
00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:39,594
Cool, it's cool.
496
00:21:39,594 --> 00:21:40,443
- What the fuck?
497
00:21:45,274 --> 00:21:47,042
- Oh, my head.
498
00:21:47,042 --> 00:21:47,875
Oh!
499
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,426
What's with the, the name tag?
500
00:21:52,426 --> 00:21:54,417
- Trust me, you're all gonna
be wanting these soon enough.
501
00:21:54,417 --> 00:21:55,740
All right?
502
00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:59,070
Anyway, we were arguing
the merits of theory three.
503
00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:01,057
- Ah, but what if it's theory two, hm?
504
00:22:02,164 --> 00:22:03,750
And it's just the one timeline,
505
00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:05,943
but it's limited by the speed of light.
506
00:22:06,810 --> 00:22:07,643
- Good question.
507
00:22:09,712 --> 00:22:10,939
(pool balls clacking)
508
00:22:10,939 --> 00:22:12,169
- Uh...
509
00:22:12,169 --> 00:22:13,137
I mean, who cares, though? It's, it's...
510
00:22:13,137 --> 00:22:15,678
You can't control for
it, so it's pointless.
511
00:22:15,678 --> 00:22:16,740
- We, we can!
512
00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:18,608
We just have to go the other way through!
513
00:22:18,608 --> 00:22:19,630
- What?
- What?
514
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:20,471
- What?
515
00:22:20,471 --> 00:22:21,540
- Just stick with me here. Um...
516
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:24,371
It's been six hours since, since he-
517
00:22:24,371 --> 00:22:26,400
- Mm-mm, mm-mm.
518
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,770
- You started the first loop, right?
519
00:22:28,770 --> 00:22:30,930
So, the paradox, if it's
moving at the speed of light,
520
00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:33,920
happened one minute in your past.
521
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,310
(chuckles) If we go the
other way, we could see it!
522
00:22:35,310 --> 00:22:36,393
That's our control!
523
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,817
- You get all that?
- Yeah pretty straightforward.
524
00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:41,186
- Mm.
- Mm-hm.
525
00:22:41,186 --> 00:22:42,706
- Well, doesn't matter,
526
00:22:42,706 --> 00:22:44,445
'cause the machine doesn't work like that.
527
00:22:44,445 --> 00:22:46,065
- It can! It can!
528
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,240
We just have to figure
out how to slow the...
529
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:49,073
Slow the, the...
530
00:22:50,601 --> 00:22:52,170
Look, I need, I need, I need visual aids.
531
00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:54,480
So, let's just grab some
of these, and just do it,
532
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,203
do it, ow, the other way, ow!
533
00:22:57,203 --> 00:23:00,360
- All right, the coast is
clear. Come on, pick those up.
534
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,980
- Jesus.
- I need a drink!
535
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:04,080
- Yeah, yep, yep.
- It's gonna be fine.
536
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,741
- All right.
537
00:23:05,741 --> 00:23:07,233
- What?
538
00:23:07,233 --> 00:23:08,066
You!
539
00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:08,940
- Which me?
540
00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:10,110
Sorry. Hard to explain.
541
00:23:10,110 --> 00:23:12,060
How are you?
542
00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:13,230
What're you doing back here?
543
00:23:13,230 --> 00:23:15,256
- I forgot my scarf.
544
00:23:15,256 --> 00:23:16,387
What are you doing here?
545
00:23:16,387 --> 00:23:17,493
I thought you had to go back to the lab?
546
00:23:17,493 --> 00:23:18,827
- Wasn't that yesterday?
547
00:23:18,827 --> 00:23:20,550
- No! It was two hours ago.
548
00:23:20,550 --> 00:23:23,010
- Two hours?
- Yes!
549
00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:24,187
- Wow. I did way too many loops.
550
00:23:24,187 --> 00:23:27,240
- "Loops"? What is that,
some kind of drink?
551
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,170
- Yes?
552
00:23:28,170 --> 00:23:29,003
- Really?
553
00:23:30,063 --> 00:23:31,640
Come buy me one.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
554
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,243
- [Delilah] You owe me! Come on!
555
00:23:35,494 --> 00:23:37,932
- Hm? Hm?
(water splashing)
556
00:23:37,932 --> 00:23:39,690
- Oh, great! There goes
the only sober one.
557
00:23:39,690 --> 00:23:43,170
I'm just too, too, too
drunk to math right now.
558
00:23:43,170 --> 00:23:46,445
- I know some assholes
who aren't. (chuckles)
559
00:23:46,445 --> 00:23:47,278
(moody synth music)
560
00:23:47,278 --> 00:23:49,350
- The machine only loops one minute back!
561
00:23:49,350 --> 00:23:51,330
Why did you think that 21
drunks would be an improvement?
562
00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:53,013
- I said I'm ordering coffee!
563
00:23:55,380 --> 00:23:57,480
24-hour coffee delivery.
564
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,320
- [Delivery Guy] Yeah,
it's beautiful out here.
565
00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,550
- [Eta Tim] God bless capitalism.
566
00:23:59,550 --> 00:24:01,590
- Yeah, it took me about
20 minutes to get out here.
567
00:24:01,590 --> 00:24:02,540
- Bless it, I said!
568
00:24:04,101 --> 00:24:06,460
(Eta Tim sighs)
569
00:24:06,460 --> 00:24:10,210
(Eta Tim whistling jauntily)
570
00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:19,459
(Eta Tim continues whistling)
571
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:22,620
(ominous music)
572
00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,433
Look. (clears throat)
573
00:24:24,433 --> 00:24:26,340
I don't know who's following me,
574
00:24:26,340 --> 00:24:29,537
but you picked the wrong
guy to be doing this...
575
00:24:29,537 --> 00:24:31,286
(gun fires)
576
00:24:31,286 --> 00:24:34,036
(Eta Tim groans)
577
00:24:35,970 --> 00:24:37,920
- That was worth the wait.
578
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,530
I never get to use the shotgun,
man. It's like too loud.
579
00:24:40,530 --> 00:24:43,020
But this place?
580
00:24:43,020 --> 00:24:46,140
You're so in the middle of
nowhere here, I... (chuckling)
581
00:24:46,140 --> 00:24:47,223
I couldn't resist.
582
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,440
Oh, fuck. Shit.
583
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:50,790
Hold up, hold up.
584
00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:53,163
Uh, supposed to read you something.
585
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,073
Ah, here we go.
586
00:24:56,017 --> 00:24:58,830
"Mr. Travers, The Kingmaker is a teacher,
587
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:00,737
and today he is teaching you..."
588
00:25:03,062 --> 00:25:03,895
You listening?
589
00:25:07,032 --> 00:25:08,370
(finger tapping)
590
00:25:08,370 --> 00:25:09,203
Shit!
591
00:25:11,197 --> 00:25:12,750
"The Kingmaker is above such things.
592
00:25:12,750 --> 00:25:14,730
The Kingmaker is a teacher,
and today he is teaching
593
00:25:14,730 --> 00:25:16,890
the consequences of
stealing from better men.
594
00:25:16,890 --> 00:25:18,720
Then shoot him." Then...
595
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,490
Then shoot him!
596
00:25:20,490 --> 00:25:22,320
Right!
597
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,153
Crap.
598
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:26,430
(finger taps)
(wind whistles)
599
00:25:26,430 --> 00:25:27,423
Oh, well.
600
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:30,948
(Helter humming cheerfully)
601
00:25:30,948 --> 00:25:32,308
(Delilah laughs)
602
00:25:32,308 --> 00:25:33,360
- No, no, stop it. No.
603
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:34,500
But seriously, seriously.
604
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,540
That did sound like a gunshot earlier.
605
00:25:36,540 --> 00:25:38,976
- No, no, no, no. It's just a, a firework.
606
00:25:38,976 --> 00:25:39,840
They're, uh...
607
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,490
Kids, they get in here, and they,
608
00:25:42,481 --> 00:25:44,220
they set 'em off all the time.
609
00:25:44,220 --> 00:25:45,813
- Uh, you're cool with that?
610
00:25:46,890 --> 00:25:50,340
- Yeah! Yeah, I mean,
kids need to get hurt.
611
00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:52,970
Like, fewer fingers, stronger moral...
612
00:25:53,910 --> 00:25:55,093
Whatever.
613
00:25:55,093 --> 00:25:57,060
(Delilah laughs)
614
00:25:57,060 --> 00:25:58,470
- Okay, you...
615
00:25:58,470 --> 00:26:00,060
You're actually fun. (chuckles)
616
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,810
But only when you've been drinking.
617
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:03,873
(Delilah clears throat)
618
00:26:03,873 --> 00:26:05,130
Announcement!
619
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:09,090
The do-over date is officially a success!
620
00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:11,509
(Delilah laughs)
621
00:26:11,509 --> 00:26:16,380
- (clears throat) So, so being
drunk is a, a plus to you?
622
00:26:16,380 --> 00:26:17,240
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
623
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:21,840
It makes it easier to get
what I want, like answers.
624
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,800
Like, why, Mr. Mad Scientist Man? Why?
625
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,240
- Isn't curiosity enough?
626
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,620
- No.
627
00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:30,930
I am curious about crypto,
628
00:26:30,930 --> 00:26:33,150
but I'm curious, because the more I know,
629
00:26:33,150 --> 00:26:35,250
the easier it is to game the suckers.
630
00:26:35,250 --> 00:26:37,200
I am curious about conspiracies
631
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,050
because someone will
always pay to believe it.
632
00:26:40,050 --> 00:26:42,090
I'm curious about sensitivity
633
00:26:42,090 --> 00:26:43,920
because humans love to control others
634
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,070
while telling themselves
they're the good guys.
635
00:26:47,070 --> 00:26:49,713
Curiosity always has an
agenda, for people like me.
636
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:52,313
Me and you.
637
00:26:53,430 --> 00:26:55,143
So, really.
638
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,237
What is it that you want?
639
00:26:59,237 --> 00:27:01,083
- I want what everyone wants.
640
00:27:02,550 --> 00:27:04,200
To stand alone with God at the end of time
641
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,700
and tell the bastard off.
642
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:06,533
- Humble.
643
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,323
And I bet ya five bucks God's a she.
644
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,620
- Our world is shit. It's definitely a he.
645
00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:15,060
- Mm.
- Okay!
646
00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:17,130
Let's go over this one more time.
647
00:27:17,130 --> 00:27:17,963
- Why?
648
00:27:17,963 --> 00:27:18,990
- Volume!
649
00:27:18,990 --> 00:27:21,000
I thought Eta was bringing coffee.
650
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,990
- The machine works by
using entangled particles.
651
00:27:24,990 --> 00:27:27,300
Now, one particle is tied
to the entrance door.
652
00:27:27,300 --> 00:27:29,850
That's the door moving
forward through time.
653
00:27:29,850 --> 00:27:32,610
The other particle is run
through the accelerator,
654
00:27:32,610 --> 00:27:36,270
slowing its frame down to
a near standstill in time.
655
00:27:36,270 --> 00:27:37,770
- Who are you explaining this for?
656
00:27:37,770 --> 00:27:40,958
- That particle is tied to the exit-
657
00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:43,137
- We all know this!
658
00:27:43,137 --> 00:27:46,320
- I'm not ashamed to admit
this is actually helping.
659
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,883
- But Alpha.
660
00:27:48,975 --> 00:27:49,808
- Mm-mm.
661
00:27:49,808 --> 00:27:50,940
- Alpha?
662
00:27:50,940 --> 00:27:53,760
Alpha, Alpha, Alpha has been
on this side of the door,
663
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,710
for longer than one minute.
664
00:27:55,710 --> 00:27:57,150
So, that means that the paradox
665
00:27:57,150 --> 00:27:58,889
has overtaken the time difference!
666
00:27:58,889 --> 00:28:00,071
- We know!
667
00:28:00,071 --> 00:28:01,268
(football thuds)
- Ow!
668
00:28:01,268 --> 00:28:02,101
The fuck!
669
00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:04,908
Fuckin' asshole. (grunts)
670
00:28:04,908 --> 00:28:05,760
(football thudding)
671
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:06,610
- Perfect timing.
672
00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:12,873
The problem is that the door
only opens backwards in time.
673
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:15,690
Send something through the exit door,
674
00:28:15,690 --> 00:28:17,580
and it's just a normal door.
675
00:28:17,580 --> 00:28:20,630
But use the entrance door, and...
676
00:28:23,153 --> 00:28:25,491
- [Past Tim] Ow! What the fuck?
677
00:28:25,491 --> 00:28:27,900
- See? I just threw that back in time.
678
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:30,030
Hit Epsilon on the head and
started that particular loop.
679
00:28:30,030 --> 00:28:32,910
- Sorry, but where did
the football come from?
680
00:28:32,910 --> 00:28:34,650
- So, we just need to bring both doors
681
00:28:34,650 --> 00:28:36,300
into the same time frame,
682
00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:38,790
allowing us to travel
the other way through,
683
00:28:38,790 --> 00:28:42,453
which, in theory, would let
us catch up to the paradox!
684
00:28:43,926 --> 00:28:45,678
(group clapping)
685
00:28:45,678 --> 00:28:46,511
- Uh...
686
00:28:46,511 --> 00:28:49,533
Uh, seriously. Where did
the, uh, football come from?
687
00:28:52,756 --> 00:28:54,300
- [Delilah] What about the multiverse?
688
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:56,100
- [Gamma Tim] Which franchise? (chuckles)
689
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:57,093
- [Delilah] God's.
690
00:28:58,650 --> 00:29:00,630
- [Gamma Tim] A multiverse
is, is too convenient, right?
691
00:29:00,630 --> 00:29:02,580
It's not different versions
of our lives. It's really-
692
00:29:02,580 --> 00:29:04,650
- I love the multiverse.
693
00:29:04,650 --> 00:29:06,650
I love all the different versions of me.
694
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:08,873
- Oh.
695
00:29:10,486 --> 00:29:11,319
Okay.
696
00:29:11,319 --> 00:29:14,133
- It doesn't matter if I fuck
up, because they made it.
697
00:29:16,686 --> 00:29:17,686
I like knowing that.
698
00:29:19,428 --> 00:29:21,900
There are some days I...
699
00:29:21,900 --> 00:29:22,900
I need that.
700
00:29:24,090 --> 00:29:26,823
- But if they succeeded,
does that make them you?
701
00:29:28,536 --> 00:29:30,150
I mean, maybe...
702
00:29:30,150 --> 00:29:31,590
Maybe failing is what makes you you.
703
00:29:31,590 --> 00:29:33,873
Maybe, maybe failure
is your defining trait.
704
00:29:36,450 --> 00:29:38,510
By which, I mean, um...
705
00:29:39,450 --> 00:29:40,500
- Recover.
706
00:29:40,500 --> 00:29:41,703
Recover fast.
707
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,583
- Would you like to see my lab?
708
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:48,833
- Okay.
709
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:50,880
But seriously, fuck you.
710
00:29:56,016 --> 00:29:59,010
- So, this is the, uh...
711
00:29:59,010 --> 00:29:59,930
The lab! Um...
712
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,573
Which we have all to ourselves.
713
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:11,640
Apparently.
714
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:12,540
- Why wouldn't we?
715
00:30:13,860 --> 00:30:18,086
Oh, right! Your time-looped
friends. (chuckles)
716
00:30:18,086 --> 00:30:19,290
- (clears throat) Okay, okay.
717
00:30:19,290 --> 00:30:21,090
Uh, uh, uh, that's the wall.
718
00:30:21,090 --> 00:30:23,340
That's the, uh, the closet over there.
719
00:30:23,340 --> 00:30:25,650
That's a human hamster wheel.
720
00:30:25,650 --> 00:30:27,540
That's the time machine.
Coffeemaker's broken.
721
00:30:27,540 --> 00:30:29,430
And that's basically it,
so we should probably,
722
00:30:29,430 --> 00:30:30,810
probably go, right?
723
00:30:30,810 --> 00:30:33,627
- I'm sorry. "Human hamster wheel"?
724
00:30:35,790 --> 00:30:37,350
- That's, that's the piece
you were impressed by?
725
00:30:37,350 --> 00:30:39,600
Oh, okay. Um, yeah, I mean, uh...
726
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,563
I was trying a thing, but
it didn't really work.
727
00:30:44,970 --> 00:30:46,200
Just too many feces.
728
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,900
- Wow. Wow. (chuckles)
729
00:30:48,900 --> 00:30:53,190
I never thought I would
be into a, um, LARPer.
730
00:30:53,190 --> 00:30:56,608
But (chuckles) your commitment is like...
731
00:30:56,608 --> 00:30:58,266
(Delilah smacks lips)
732
00:30:58,266 --> 00:30:59,467
(Tim chuckles)
733
00:30:59,467 --> 00:31:01,170
- Uh, sorry. What?
734
00:31:01,170 --> 00:31:05,100
- This! The, the toy guns, that prop!
735
00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:06,420
- My time machine is not a prop.
736
00:31:06,420 --> 00:31:07,590
- That. That right there.
737
00:31:07,590 --> 00:31:10,420
The commitment to the fantasy, I am...
738
00:31:10,420 --> 00:31:11,670
Ooh, I am into it.
739
00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:14,279
If I could afford to
support a LARP like this,
740
00:31:14,279 --> 00:31:15,510
I don't even know what I would do with it.
741
00:31:15,510 --> 00:31:17,068
I, uh...
742
00:31:17,068 --> 00:31:18,033
(gasps) Ah.
743
00:31:18,033 --> 00:31:19,710
Paid LARP vacations.
744
00:31:19,710 --> 00:31:21,543
No, somebody must be doing that.
745
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:23,970
If you could classify it as porn,
746
00:31:23,970 --> 00:31:26,138
you could have the staff
screw the customers.
747
00:31:26,138 --> 00:31:27,690
- Eww!
- Oh, don't be a prude.
748
00:31:27,690 --> 00:31:30,257
- No, no, no, no, no,
no. Eww to, to LARPing!
749
00:31:30,257 --> 00:31:32,130
I mean, this? This is real!
750
00:31:32,130 --> 00:31:34,650
This is my, my life's work!
751
00:31:34,650 --> 00:31:36,990
- Okay, drop it already!
752
00:31:36,990 --> 00:31:38,040
Talk like a normal person,
753
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,630
and not someone trying to sound smart!
754
00:31:39,630 --> 00:31:41,250
It's just not healthy!
755
00:31:41,250 --> 00:31:42,660
I bet ya five bucks you just spend
756
00:31:42,660 --> 00:31:44,360
too much time talking to yourself.
757
00:31:45,861 --> 00:31:49,028
(ominous synth music)
758
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,460
Oh, my God.
759
00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:52,679
- Uh, Delilah, this-
760
00:31:52,679 --> 00:31:53,839
- Okay!
761
00:31:53,839 --> 00:31:55,268
Get away from me!
762
00:31:55,268 --> 00:31:56,316
(Delilah screams)
763
00:31:56,316 --> 00:31:57,899
- No, not that way!
764
00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:00,871
(Delilah screams)
765
00:32:00,871 --> 00:32:04,599
(Delilahs screaming)
766
00:32:04,599 --> 00:32:06,230
Probably fine, right?
767
00:32:06,230 --> 00:32:08,861
- If I could afford to
support a LARP like this,
768
00:32:08,861 --> 00:32:10,140
I don't even know what I would do with it.
769
00:32:10,140 --> 00:32:11,711
I, uh...
770
00:32:11,711 --> 00:32:13,368
(gasps) Ah.
771
00:32:13,368 --> 00:32:14,280
Paid LARP vacations.
772
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,113
No, somebody must be doing that.
773
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,298
If you could classify it as porn, you...
774
00:32:19,298 --> 00:32:21,898
(footsteps clacking)
775
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:23,885
(ominous synth music)
776
00:32:23,885 --> 00:32:26,968
(Delilahs screaming)
777
00:32:28,594 --> 00:32:31,237
(gun fires)
- No! Oh!
778
00:32:31,237 --> 00:32:32,625
- Oh, my god.
779
00:32:32,625 --> 00:32:33,793
- Oh, my god!
780
00:32:33,793 --> 00:32:34,770
- [Tim] What the hell was that?
781
00:32:34,770 --> 00:32:36,183
Damn it, did you drop something again?
782
00:32:36,183 --> 00:32:38,258
(Tims chattering)
783
00:32:38,258 --> 00:32:40,920
- [Tims] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
784
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,893
- Why would you do that?
(Delilah screaming)
785
00:32:43,893 --> 00:32:45,040
- Holy shit!
786
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,590
- Just, just, just give me the gun.
787
00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:47,573
- [Tim] Give him the gun!
788
00:32:48,650 --> 00:32:49,740
- Stay back! All of you, stay back!
789
00:32:49,740 --> 00:32:52,078
- Just calm down.
- Be cool, man!
790
00:32:52,078 --> 00:32:53,529
- Shut up, you freak!
791
00:32:53,529 --> 00:32:55,958
- Let's not be hypocritical here.
792
00:32:55,958 --> 00:32:57,793
(Tims murmuring)
793
00:32:57,793 --> 00:33:00,794
(gun fires)
(Delilah screams)
794
00:33:00,794 --> 00:33:02,082
(footsteps clacking)
795
00:33:02,082 --> 00:33:03,583
(door thuds)
796
00:33:03,583 --> 00:33:04,560
- So?
797
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,793
How did the date go?
798
00:33:07,980 --> 00:33:08,813
What?
799
00:33:09,772 --> 00:33:10,950
(phone vibrates and rings)
800
00:33:10,950 --> 00:33:12,257
- Delilah? Delilah, look-
- Don't you dare follow me!
801
00:33:12,257 --> 00:33:14,490
- Don't, don't worry, we
won't. (chuckles) Come on.
802
00:33:14,490 --> 00:33:16,350
Like, a bunch of guys chasing a lone woman
803
00:33:16,350 --> 00:33:18,450
around their private compound at night?
804
00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:21,710
It's not exactly a great,
a great look. Um...
805
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:23,580
probably shouldn't have said that.
806
00:33:23,580 --> 00:33:24,413
- No shit!
807
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,810
Listen, I don't have a box to put this in
808
00:33:27,810 --> 00:33:29,790
that will fit in my brain without,
809
00:33:29,790 --> 00:33:31,620
bet ya five bucks, exploding my head.
810
00:33:31,620 --> 00:33:34,569
So, let's just forget this
ever happened. (chuckles)
811
00:33:34,569 --> 00:33:35,610
(gasoline splashing)
812
00:33:35,610 --> 00:33:38,568
- Trust me, it, it happened.
813
00:33:38,568 --> 00:33:39,930
- But reality is subjective, so no.
814
00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:41,580
- Subjective? Tell her that!
815
00:33:41,580 --> 00:33:42,413
- Nope!
816
00:33:43,556 --> 00:33:44,696
Oh, fuck!
817
00:33:44,696 --> 00:33:47,446
Motherfuckin' shit dick slug nug!
818
00:33:48,754 --> 00:33:50,114
(Delilah gasps)
819
00:33:50,114 --> 00:33:52,947
(Delilah screams)
820
00:33:56,235 --> 00:33:57,360
(fire roars)
- Whoa!
821
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:58,807
- Thanks for the jugs!
822
00:34:02,913 --> 00:34:03,915
Evening.
823
00:34:03,915 --> 00:34:05,475
- Travers?
824
00:34:05,475 --> 00:34:07,987
- (grunts) All right.
(car door slams)
825
00:34:07,987 --> 00:34:09,604
Let's get going.
(knocks on car window)
826
00:34:09,604 --> 00:34:11,743
Oh, Jesus Christ.
827
00:34:11,743 --> 00:34:14,440
(car window scraping)
828
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:15,273
Yes.
829
00:34:15,273 --> 00:34:18,210
- You're Tim Travers.
830
00:34:18,210 --> 00:34:19,661
- We've established that.
831
00:34:19,661 --> 00:34:20,820
(Helter chuckles)
832
00:34:20,820 --> 00:34:23,280
- You're not gonna believe
this, but earlier tonight,
833
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,170
I met a guy who looked exactly...
834
00:34:25,170 --> 00:34:29,460
I mean, exactly like you. (chuckles)
835
00:34:29,460 --> 00:34:33,047
- Just have one of those faces, I guess.
836
00:34:33,047 --> 00:34:34,934
- You do! (chuckles)
- Yeah.
837
00:34:34,934 --> 00:34:36,450
Okay, I'm gonna get going, so, uh,
838
00:34:36,450 --> 00:34:38,520
you have a lovely little
evening or whatever.
839
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,675
Jesus Christ!
(gun fires)
840
00:34:41,675 --> 00:34:44,446
(Helter shudders)
841
00:34:44,446 --> 00:34:45,330
(flesh squelches)
842
00:34:45,330 --> 00:34:46,163
- Ah, shit!
843
00:34:47,793 --> 00:34:50,847
Uh, "The Kingmaker is a teacher."
844
00:34:53,340 --> 00:34:55,080
Fuck, I did it again.
845
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,150
Stupid fuckin' note.
846
00:34:57,150 --> 00:34:59,103
- [Tim] I mean, I didn't even
know that the gun was loaded.
847
00:34:59,103 --> 00:35:02,910
- So, does anyone else
think it's a little weird
848
00:35:02,910 --> 00:35:05,310
that she shot her other self?
849
00:35:05,310 --> 00:35:08,310
I mean, I get that we did that
as part of the experiment.
850
00:35:08,310 --> 00:35:09,433
She didn't know that.
851
00:35:09,433 --> 00:35:10,620
I mean, maybe that was
just some other woman
852
00:35:10,620 --> 00:35:12,570
that looked a lot like her.
853
00:35:12,570 --> 00:35:15,903
Just a little weird that, uh,
murder was her go-to response.
854
00:35:16,971 --> 00:35:18,000
- (sighs) I liked her.
855
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,770
- You saw no red flags there?
856
00:35:19,770 --> 00:35:22,739
- She did mention something
about "crushing peasants"?
857
00:35:22,739 --> 00:35:23,572
- Oh!
858
00:35:23,572 --> 00:35:25,530
I see what's going on here.
859
00:35:25,530 --> 00:35:27,570
You thought that she would fix you!
860
00:35:27,570 --> 00:35:29,070
- Fuck you!
- Oh, fuck you.
861
00:35:29,070 --> 00:35:29,903
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
862
00:35:29,903 --> 00:35:31,530
Guys, just, let's just chill, okay?
863
00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:32,737
- Fuck you, too.
- Fuck off!
864
00:35:32,737 --> 00:35:34,560
- Fuck you!
- Fuck both of you.
865
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,180
- Fuck all of you!
866
00:35:36,180 --> 00:35:37,612
- Fuck that, too!
- All right.
867
00:35:37,612 --> 00:35:38,580
I'm just gonna gonna say it.
- Fuck you, motherfucker!
868
00:35:38,580 --> 00:35:40,350
- You all thinking what I'm thinking?
869
00:35:40,350 --> 00:35:42,450
- That's exactly what I'm thinking.
870
00:35:42,450 --> 00:35:43,548
- Tim Travers?
871
00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:46,249
Go fuck yourself.
872
00:35:46,249 --> 00:35:47,379
- Fuck yeah.
873
00:35:47,379 --> 00:35:49,920
- [Sigma Tim] Oh, yeah!
874
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,143
- What's that for?
- Mood music.
875
00:35:53,358 --> 00:35:56,250
(mellow music)
876
00:35:56,250 --> 00:35:57,390
- [Lambda Tim] Okay.
877
00:35:57,390 --> 00:35:58,830
Okay, uh...
878
00:35:58,830 --> 00:36:00,180
Hold on. You know what?
879
00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:01,113
Let's turn it up.
880
00:36:02,580 --> 00:36:04,725
- [Delivery Guy] Yeah, it's
pick-up from here on, buddy.
881
00:36:04,725 --> 00:36:06,196
- Hey. Hey, how are you?
882
00:36:06,196 --> 00:36:07,836
Um, the uh, orgy's happening.
883
00:36:07,836 --> 00:36:10,184
- Oh, ho, ho, ho! Well, it's about time!
884
00:36:10,184 --> 00:36:11,405
(giggles) Woo!
885
00:36:11,405 --> 00:36:12,238
- Yes.
886
00:36:14,325 --> 00:36:15,913
That'll work.
887
00:36:15,913 --> 00:36:17,472
(Zeta Tim chuckles)
888
00:36:17,472 --> 00:36:18,305
I...
889
00:36:19,944 --> 00:36:21,794
I figured it out.
890
00:36:21,794 --> 00:36:23,672
(chuckles) I did it!
891
00:36:23,672 --> 00:36:25,040
You guys, we...
892
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,290
(muffled mellow music)
893
00:36:30,682 --> 00:36:32,265
Where is everybody?
894
00:36:33,152 --> 00:36:37,069
♪ I met God and it's all a lie ♪
895
00:36:38,442 --> 00:36:41,881
♪ And I don't know why ♪
(muffled Tims moaning)
896
00:36:41,881 --> 00:36:46,881
♪ We never die ♪
(muffled Tims grunting)
897
00:36:47,521 --> 00:36:50,347
- Hold that other leg. (moans)
- Oh, yeah!
898
00:36:50,347 --> 00:36:54,014
(Tims grunting and panting)
899
00:36:55,323 --> 00:36:57,214
Stop licking me.
(Tims grunting)
900
00:36:57,214 --> 00:36:58,470
- Who are you?
901
00:36:58,470 --> 00:37:00,240
- They asked me to hold the coffee.
902
00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:03,046
- [Tim] Say my name. Say my name, Tim!
903
00:37:03,046 --> 00:37:05,379
Say my name, Tim!
(flesh slapping)
904
00:37:05,379 --> 00:37:07,959
- [Tim] Tim, Tim, Tim.
905
00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:09,305
Say my name.
906
00:37:09,305 --> 00:37:11,557
Say my name, Tim!
(flesh slapping)
907
00:37:11,557 --> 00:37:12,705
Tim!
908
00:37:12,705 --> 00:37:17,705
(muffled mellow music)
(muffled Tims grunting)
909
00:37:20,525 --> 00:37:23,775
(hamster wheel clacks)
910
00:37:25,031 --> 00:37:27,698
(paper rustles)
911
00:37:33,862 --> 00:37:38,862
(muffled mellow music)
(muffled Tims grunting)
912
00:37:41,524 --> 00:37:44,326
(mellow music)
913
00:37:44,326 --> 00:37:46,643
- [Alpha Tim] Delta, no names.
914
00:37:46,643 --> 00:37:49,060
(Tim groans)
915
00:37:51,874 --> 00:37:53,769
- [Tau Tim] Oh, God. I feel
so close to you right now.
916
00:37:53,769 --> 00:37:56,352
(Tims moaning)
917
00:37:58,210 --> 00:38:01,460
♪ 'Cause I give myself ♪
918
00:38:02,673 --> 00:38:05,565
(hand slaps)
919
00:38:05,565 --> 00:38:07,365
- [Tim] No, lick there, lick there.
920
00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:09,180
- Okay, but what about the soul?
921
00:38:09,180 --> 00:38:10,980
How does time travel account
922
00:38:10,980 --> 00:38:13,590
for two spirits occupying the same space?
923
00:38:13,590 --> 00:38:15,750
- The same way that it accounts
for unicorns and dragons
924
00:38:15,750 --> 00:38:17,780
or other shit that isn't real!
925
00:38:17,780 --> 00:38:19,590
We are just meat!
926
00:38:19,590 --> 00:38:21,840
The meaning of life is to eat, shit,
927
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,740
fuck to create more meat, and
repeat, until we die, alone!
928
00:38:27,540 --> 00:38:30,693
In the end...
(somber music)
929
00:38:31,770 --> 00:38:32,770
All of us are alone.
930
00:38:34,219 --> 00:38:37,552
(muffled Tims grunting)
931
00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:42,870
- We'll be right back
with more Tim Travers
932
00:38:42,870 --> 00:38:44,763
and his super happy outlook on life.
933
00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:49,170
- I'm so confused.
934
00:38:49,170 --> 00:38:51,330
How does someone affiliate
the time dilation
935
00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:54,235
of an accelerated
particle to a door frame?
936
00:38:54,235 --> 00:38:56,970
- Okay, you're not listening.
I need you to hear me, okay?
937
00:38:56,970 --> 00:38:59,700
This guy is crazy. I think, I
think he might be a terrorist.
938
00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:01,620
- Oh, honey.
939
00:39:01,620 --> 00:39:05,220
Weirdo or no, labeling
somebody with that term?
940
00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:06,792
- He's white.
941
00:39:06,792 --> 00:39:10,110
- Uh, oh, shit. Yeah,
definitely a terrorist then.
942
00:39:10,110 --> 00:39:12,090
What is this guy's name?
943
00:39:12,090 --> 00:39:13,590
- Tim. Tim Travers.
944
00:39:13,590 --> 00:39:14,423
- Who?
945
00:39:17,988 --> 00:39:18,821
Who?
946
00:39:18,821 --> 00:39:19,893
- Tim Travers!
947
00:39:23,108 --> 00:39:24,190
- Who in the fuck...
(gun clicks)
948
00:39:24,190 --> 00:39:26,936
- Oh, my!
949
00:39:26,936 --> 00:39:28,245
- Whoa.
- I hate this town.
950
00:39:28,245 --> 00:39:29,995
I hate everyone in it, so, so much!
951
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,700
Bet ya five bucks I've had
a weirder day than you.
952
00:39:35,700 --> 00:39:36,533
- You're on.
953
00:39:37,410 --> 00:39:39,235
- [Kappa Tim] You guys have no idea.
954
00:39:39,235 --> 00:39:40,977
(Tims chattering)
955
00:39:40,977 --> 00:39:43,480
- It's gonna hold.
- It's too much power.
956
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,313
(Tims chattering)
957
00:39:47,420 --> 00:39:50,543
(ominous music)
958
00:39:50,543 --> 00:39:51,960
It's classic Tim.
959
00:39:53,732 --> 00:39:56,565
(Tims chattering)
960
00:39:57,540 --> 00:39:59,160
- You sluts!
961
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,590
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We do not need the judgment.
962
00:40:01,590 --> 00:40:03,270
Where, where'd you get the coffee?
963
00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:04,103
- Sorry.
964
00:40:07,059 --> 00:40:09,976
(Zeta Tim gulping)
965
00:40:13,356 --> 00:40:14,790
(Zeta Tim exhales loudly)
966
00:40:14,790 --> 00:40:15,623
Last cup.
967
00:40:16,804 --> 00:40:17,637
(Tims sighing)
968
00:40:17,637 --> 00:40:18,990
Delivery guy must've stolen the rest.
969
00:40:18,990 --> 00:40:20,913
I bet you forgot to tip.
970
00:40:21,791 --> 00:40:24,450
(Tim cackling wickedly)
971
00:40:24,450 --> 00:40:26,490
- Fuck you, motherfucker!
972
00:40:26,490 --> 00:40:27,323
- Damn.
973
00:40:28,290 --> 00:40:30,614
- So? (clears throat)
974
00:40:30,614 --> 00:40:31,830
(distant Tim singing indistinctly)
975
00:40:31,830 --> 00:40:32,930
How was, uh...
976
00:40:34,230 --> 00:40:35,190
It?
977
00:40:35,190 --> 00:40:36,660
- Amazing.
- Incredible.
978
00:40:36,660 --> 00:40:38,340
- Best sex ever.
- Obviously great!
979
00:40:38,340 --> 00:40:39,660
Uh... (laughs)
980
00:40:39,660 --> 00:40:41,103
- Pretty bland, honestly.
981
00:40:43,017 --> 00:40:43,980
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
982
00:40:43,980 --> 00:40:45,360
I thought we were done
jerking each other off.
983
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,343
It was great!
984
00:40:47,420 --> 00:40:51,723
- In all fairness, a
great bonding experience.
985
00:40:52,770 --> 00:40:56,880
And, uh, I learned some
things about myself, and...
986
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,050
(Tau Tim breathes deeply)
987
00:40:58,050 --> 00:40:58,883
- Tau!
988
00:40:59,940 --> 00:41:02,940
How about you go get us some more coffee?
989
00:41:02,940 --> 00:41:04,530
Go.
990
00:41:04,530 --> 00:41:05,363
Go now.
991
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:07,493
Now!
992
00:41:07,493 --> 00:41:09,570
- You're just jealous that no
one invited you to the orgy.
993
00:41:09,570 --> 00:41:10,683
- [Tims] Ooh!
994
00:41:13,234 --> 00:41:15,734
(tense music)
995
00:41:18,930 --> 00:41:20,162
- Get.
996
00:41:20,162 --> 00:41:20,995
Out.
997
00:41:27,181 --> 00:41:29,370
- "Go get the coffee,
Tau. Hold my wrench, Tau.
998
00:41:29,370 --> 00:41:30,510
Lube is for sissies, Tau."
999
00:41:30,510 --> 00:41:33,360
Well, that's why no one invited
you to the orgy, asshole!
1000
00:41:34,471 --> 00:41:37,200
(Helter clears throat)
(suspenseful music)
1001
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:38,907
(Tau Tim sighs)
1002
00:41:38,907 --> 00:41:40,537
And you are?
1003
00:41:40,537 --> 00:41:42,150
(gun cocks)
Whoa. (chuckles)
1004
00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:42,983
Whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
1005
00:41:42,983 --> 00:41:45,780
- I don't know how you're
doing this, but it won't work.
1006
00:41:45,780 --> 00:41:48,000
Decoys? Body doubles?
1007
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,980
Magic tricks? I don't fuckin' care.
1008
00:41:49,980 --> 00:41:52,320
I will do this all goddamn
night, if I have to,
1009
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,407
because I am a professional!
1010
00:41:54,407 --> 00:41:55,240
(Tau Tim chuckles)
1011
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:57,570
- Okay, I think there has
been a big misunderstanding!
1012
00:41:57,570 --> 00:41:58,890
- Shut up!
1013
00:41:58,890 --> 00:42:02,133
I have a message for
you from The Kingmaker.
1014
00:42:04,663 --> 00:42:06,660
- Oh, shit. That guy, um-
1015
00:42:06,660 --> 00:42:08,160
- "Mr. Travers.
1016
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,150
Do not think of this as
punishment or revenge.
1017
00:42:12,150 --> 00:42:14,670
The Kingmaker is above such things.
1018
00:42:14,670 --> 00:42:16,470
The Kingmaker is a teacher,
1019
00:42:16,470 --> 00:42:19,800
and today, he is teaching
you the consequences
1020
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,707
of stealing from better men."
1021
00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:25,043
There.
1022
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:27,270
I said it.
1023
00:42:27,270 --> 00:42:31,148
I read the whole damn message.
1024
00:42:31,148 --> 00:42:33,033
And now, I just wanna be absolutely sure
1025
00:42:33,033 --> 00:42:35,160
that I'm killing the right guy this time.
1026
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,193
So, are you Tim Travers?
1027
00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:40,323
- No?
1028
00:42:40,323 --> 00:42:41,292
- Liar!
(gun fires)
1029
00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:42,298
(Tau Tim yelps)
1030
00:42:42,298 --> 00:42:43,280
(gun cocks)
1031
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:44,113
(gun fires)
1032
00:42:44,113 --> 00:42:44,957
(gun cocks)
1033
00:42:44,957 --> 00:42:47,124
(gun fires)
1034
00:42:47,124 --> 00:42:50,785
(brooding synth music)
(Helter muttering)
1035
00:42:50,785 --> 00:42:53,452
(Helter grunts)
1036
00:42:54,484 --> 00:42:57,522
(machinery bleeping)
(sparks crackling)
1037
00:42:57,522 --> 00:43:02,439
(Tims chattering drowned out by machinery)
1038
00:43:03,361 --> 00:43:05,190
- (clears throat) Oh.
1039
00:43:05,190 --> 00:43:06,810
You're the, uh, the Tim
1040
00:43:06,810 --> 00:43:09,491
that wasn't taking anyone's
crap earlier, right?
1041
00:43:09,491 --> 00:43:10,790
- (chuckles) Yeah.
1042
00:43:10,790 --> 00:43:13,749
I mean, come off it, right?
1043
00:43:13,749 --> 00:43:14,970
Yeah, it's like we're all
putting on this performance,
1044
00:43:14,970 --> 00:43:15,803
and for who?
1045
00:43:15,803 --> 00:43:18,900
- Our egos. (laughs)
1046
00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:20,583
Anyway, it was, good on you.
1047
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,180
- No, you'd have done
the same. (clears throat)
1048
00:43:24,180 --> 00:43:26,730
- I didn't, though. Which is weird, right?
1049
00:43:26,730 --> 00:43:28,980
I mean, maybe the, uh, experience drift
1050
00:43:28,980 --> 00:43:32,040
between individual Tims is, is growing.
1051
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,990
- Well, a few hours can change a person.
1052
00:43:33,990 --> 00:43:35,554
- Yeah, that's what my doctor...
1053
00:43:35,554 --> 00:43:38,098
(wrench clangs)
Oh.
1054
00:43:38,098 --> 00:43:39,951
- I'll get that.
1055
00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:41,915
(Gamma Tim chuckles)
1056
00:43:41,915 --> 00:43:43,415
Here.
- Oh, thanks.
1057
00:43:47,402 --> 00:43:50,772
(both chuckling)
1058
00:43:50,772 --> 00:43:52,657
I'm just...
(electricity crackling)
1059
00:43:52,657 --> 00:43:55,740
(footsteps clacking)
1060
00:43:56,988 --> 00:43:58,780
- Oh, fuck! That's hot.
1061
00:43:58,780 --> 00:44:01,620
Which is why it will
double the energy output,
1062
00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:03,243
and also the radiation.
1063
00:44:04,470 --> 00:44:06,180
- Well, what about matter?
1064
00:44:06,180 --> 00:44:09,810
- Yeah, I think that matters!
- No, no. What about matter?
1065
00:44:09,810 --> 00:44:11,190
Every time we create a new Tim,
1066
00:44:11,190 --> 00:44:14,620
where is the matter coming from, you know?
1067
00:44:14,620 --> 00:44:15,453
- [Lambda Tim] Huh.
1068
00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:18,030
We must be pulling it from
somewhere else in the Universe.
1069
00:44:18,030 --> 00:44:20,257
The equivalent to 20...
1070
00:44:20,257 --> 00:44:21,930
No, no, 30-
- 30?
1071
00:44:21,930 --> 00:44:23,430
- [Lambda Tim] Tims.
1072
00:44:23,430 --> 00:44:25,050
- [Kappa Tim] Ah, fuck.
That's too many Tims.
1073
00:44:25,050 --> 00:44:26,140
- [Lambda Tim] Yeah, I'd say.
1074
00:44:26,140 --> 00:44:27,750
- [Reporter] Thank you, Jason McKee,
1075
00:44:27,750 --> 00:44:31,950
for that insightful report on
postpartum depression for men.
1076
00:44:31,950 --> 00:44:34,680
On to national news tonight,
at a Mississippi church,
1077
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,800
30 parishioners appear
to have been raptured.
1078
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:41,760
Details are vague, but experts
are dismissing this theory,
1079
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,090
instead arguing for wormhole
displacement theory.
1080
00:44:45,090 --> 00:44:47,442
In spite of the evidence...
1081
00:44:47,442 --> 00:44:48,720
- Shut up.
1082
00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:50,861
All right, everybody! (claps hands)
1083
00:44:50,861 --> 00:44:52,950
Gather round! Gather round!
1084
00:44:52,950 --> 00:44:55,983
All right, make a little
semicircle for me.
1085
00:44:55,983 --> 00:44:57,720
(Tims coughing)
1086
00:44:57,720 --> 00:45:01,470
Close enough. I have some sad news.
1087
00:45:01,470 --> 00:45:03,638
Tau Tim has been murdered.
1088
00:45:03,638 --> 00:45:05,040
- Oh, no, not Tau.
- Who?
1089
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,150
- Yeah, very sad.
1090
00:45:06,150 --> 00:45:07,800
Anyway, somebody's been
picking off the Tims
1091
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,140
on the coffee runs, so from here on out,
1092
00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:12,510
I am imposing the buddy system.
1093
00:45:12,510 --> 00:45:13,343
- Boo!
1094
00:45:15,210 --> 00:45:17,880
- Also, this does mean there is no coffee.
1095
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:18,713
- Oh, come on!
1096
00:45:18,713 --> 00:45:20,377
- You've gotta be fucking kidding me!
1097
00:45:20,377 --> 00:45:22,780
- [Tim] I fucking hate this place!
1098
00:45:22,780 --> 00:45:25,391
- [Omicron Tim] (chuckles)
She was into a multiverses?
1099
00:45:25,391 --> 00:45:26,224
- [Gamma Tim] Exactly.
1100
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:28,680
And I have this whole
theory about why multiverses
1101
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,630
are stupid and people like them anyway.
1102
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,590
I tried not to say anything,
ended up being a dick anyway.
1103
00:45:34,590 --> 00:45:35,423
- Well...
1104
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:37,440
What's your theory?
1105
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,210
- I mean, obviously you know it already.
1106
00:45:39,210 --> 00:45:42,044
- Yeah, but... (sighs)
1107
00:45:42,044 --> 00:45:43,530
It'd be nice to hear somebody else say it.
1108
00:45:43,530 --> 00:45:46,593
I'm just so tired of hearing
my own voice, you know?
1109
00:45:47,700 --> 00:45:50,043
- That resonates. (sighs)
1110
00:45:51,810 --> 00:45:54,000
The multiverse isn't different
versions of our lives.
1111
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,920
It's actually different sets of laws.
1112
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,440
I mean, why should one
plus one equal two, right?
1113
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,070
I mean, why was there slightly
more matter than anti-matter?
1114
00:46:02,070 --> 00:46:03,897
It's the same as the entirety
of history. It's just the-
1115
00:46:03,897 --> 00:46:06,303
- The newest way to put
ourselves at the center.
1116
00:46:07,380 --> 00:46:09,587
To convince ourselves that we matter.
1117
00:46:09,587 --> 00:46:12,300
- Why is not mattering so bad?
1118
00:46:12,300 --> 00:46:15,990
I mean, why is it so
terrifying to... (sighs)
1119
00:46:15,990 --> 00:46:17,400
Not be the most important person?
1120
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:18,233
- It's freeing.
1121
00:46:19,260 --> 00:46:22,110
My mistakes are mine and mine alone.
1122
00:46:22,110 --> 00:46:23,210
- As are my victories.
1123
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:27,593
- In life.
1124
00:46:28,860 --> 00:46:29,823
- In science.
1125
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:32,956
- In love?
1126
00:46:38,812 --> 00:46:43,050
(phone vibrates and chirps)
1127
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:46,133
I got it. (chuckles)
1128
00:46:47,442 --> 00:46:48,275
- What is it?
1129
00:46:48,275 --> 00:46:49,108
- Something about missing coffee.
1130
00:46:49,108 --> 00:46:50,910
I'm honestly still trying
to figure out why our phones
1131
00:46:50,910 --> 00:46:51,810
are working like this.
1132
00:46:51,810 --> 00:46:54,447
- Someone at Verizon is
having a meltdown right now.
1133
00:46:54,447 --> 00:46:55,911
(both chuckling)
1134
00:46:55,911 --> 00:47:00,911
(door motor humming)
(ominous music)
1135
00:47:01,529 --> 00:47:04,779
(car door clicks open)
1136
00:47:05,951 --> 00:47:08,701
(car door slams)
1137
00:47:10,220 --> 00:47:13,680
(phone rings)
(suspenseful music)
1138
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,590
- Oh, shit!
(phone rings)
1139
00:47:16,590 --> 00:47:17,423
Yeah, Boss?
1140
00:47:17,423 --> 00:47:20,970
- [Kingmaker] You know I do
not like to be kept waiting.
1141
00:47:20,970 --> 00:47:22,763
- [Helter] Yeah, I know,
I know, but it's fine.
1142
00:47:22,763 --> 00:47:24,931
- [Kingmaker] Helter?
1143
00:47:24,931 --> 00:47:26,120
Helter!
(phone chimes)
1144
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,860
Is the bastard dead already?
1145
00:47:28,860 --> 00:47:31,998
This guy goes off-grid for a year,
1146
00:47:31,998 --> 00:47:34,416
and then the idiot shows up on a podcast.
1147
00:47:34,416 --> 00:47:36,296
- I swear, I, I...
1148
00:47:36,296 --> 00:47:37,203
I don't understand.
1149
00:47:37,203 --> 00:47:39,303
- [Kingmaker] Do I need to bring in Royce?
1150
00:47:42,998 --> 00:47:44,555
- Royce?
1151
00:47:44,555 --> 00:47:46,222
- [Kingmaker] Royce.
1152
00:47:47,310 --> 00:47:48,420
- Royce is here?
1153
00:47:48,420 --> 00:47:50,067
- [Kingmaker] Near enough.
1154
00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:53,250
So, do your job, and if I don't
hear from you in one hour,
1155
00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:56,152
I am bringing in Royce.
1156
00:47:56,152 --> 00:47:58,320
(phone chimes)
1157
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,371
- Fuck! Fuckin' cunt fuck!
(horn honks)
1158
00:48:00,371 --> 00:48:02,858
(horn honks)
Fucking brother!
1159
00:48:02,858 --> 00:48:03,691
Fuck!
1160
00:48:05,288 --> 00:48:06,630
- I'd like to point out to the audience,
1161
00:48:06,630 --> 00:48:09,333
this is the first pause Tim has taken.
1162
00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:11,360
Why are you even here?
1163
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:15,050
I mean, you don't respect any of us.
1164
00:48:15,050 --> 00:48:16,290
You've just been ranting at my audience
1165
00:48:16,290 --> 00:48:18,333
and me for two hours, torturing us.
1166
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:21,682
Did I do something to you?
1167
00:48:21,682 --> 00:48:24,311
Did I beat you up on a
playground somewhere when I was-
1168
00:48:24,311 --> 00:48:25,144
- No, no, nothing like that.
1169
00:48:25,144 --> 00:48:26,550
You just dumbed down the
human race a little bit.
1170
00:48:26,550 --> 00:48:28,800
- Why is it so important for you
1171
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,403
to be smarter than a guy
you don't even respect?
1172
00:48:34,050 --> 00:48:35,933
I mean, who are you
trying to impress here?
1173
00:48:42,930 --> 00:48:44,430
What is the point of all this?
1174
00:48:45,742 --> 00:48:47,910
- Well, isn't it obvious? (chuckles)
1175
00:48:47,910 --> 00:48:49,890
If something should go wrong
when I turn on the machine,
1176
00:48:49,890 --> 00:48:52,920
a record would be a
pretty good thing to have.
1177
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,870
You were the only one
who took the interview.
1178
00:48:54,870 --> 00:48:56,583
- With full love and respect,
1179
00:48:57,750 --> 00:49:00,963
I hope you die a very painful death.
1180
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,140
- Aww.
(dark music)
1181
00:49:04,140 --> 00:49:05,605
- [Tim] No, no. I still have mine.
1182
00:49:05,605 --> 00:49:07,507
- I heard this-
- Somebody probably-
1183
00:49:07,507 --> 00:49:08,603
- [Tim] No, no. I told you!
1184
00:49:10,357 --> 00:49:11,190
- Hey!
1185
00:49:12,408 --> 00:49:16,290
Uh, I think that things
might be about to get weird,
1186
00:49:16,290 --> 00:49:17,699
or weird, weirder.
1187
00:49:17,699 --> 00:49:19,797
(Omicron Tim laughs)
Um...
1188
00:49:19,797 --> 00:49:22,170
I don't know, I thought
maybe it'd be a good idea
1189
00:49:22,170 --> 00:49:25,800
to have a way to, you
know, recognize each other.
1190
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:29,343
- Why would we need a way
to, uh, recognize each other?
1191
00:49:30,810 --> 00:49:31,643
- Um...
1192
00:49:33,180 --> 00:49:35,579
Well, because I, uh, uh...
1193
00:49:35,579 --> 00:49:38,497
- (chuckles) It's cool,
it's cool, it's cool.
1194
00:49:38,497 --> 00:49:40,340
(clears throat) That's, uh...
1195
00:49:42,210 --> 00:49:45,993
I care about, I care,
I care about that, too.
1196
00:49:48,331 --> 00:49:50,201
- I...
1197
00:49:50,201 --> 00:49:53,523
It's the, uh, only sticker I could find.
1198
00:49:55,430 --> 00:49:58,680
(distant Tims arguing)
1199
00:49:59,819 --> 00:50:00,819
- I love it.
1200
00:50:01,948 --> 00:50:05,115
(Gamma Tim chuckling)
1201
00:50:06,747 --> 00:50:08,155
- Blah. (chuckles)
1202
00:50:08,155 --> 00:50:10,822
(ominous music)
1203
00:50:15,136 --> 00:50:19,096
(machinery buzzing)
(Tims chattering)
1204
00:50:19,096 --> 00:50:20,770
- Breathe, baby.
1205
00:50:20,770 --> 00:50:21,933
We're almost home.
1206
00:50:22,950 --> 00:50:23,883
Power core stable?
1207
00:50:24,832 --> 00:50:26,460
If not, we're gonna die!
1208
00:50:26,460 --> 00:50:28,094
Good enough.
1209
00:50:28,094 --> 00:50:29,940
- Is the second particle moving?
1210
00:50:29,940 --> 00:50:32,358
- Yeah, yeah. Full speed in a few seconds.
1211
00:50:32,358 --> 00:50:34,287
(electricity crackling)
(Lambda Tim sniffing)
1212
00:50:34,287 --> 00:50:36,330
- [Lambda Tim] Hey, hey, do
you smell something burning?
1213
00:50:36,330 --> 00:50:38,422
Eh, it's probably my imagination.
1214
00:50:38,422 --> 00:50:41,550
(electrical energy pulsating)
1215
00:50:41,550 --> 00:50:45,527
- Iota, I've got this. You go
see the paradox. (chuckles)
1216
00:50:45,527 --> 00:50:49,743
- (chuckles) I owe you one.
1217
00:50:52,568 --> 00:50:56,435
(ominous music continues)
1218
00:50:56,435 --> 00:50:59,336
(Iota Tim panting)
1219
00:50:59,336 --> 00:51:01,653
(gun thuds)
- Jesus fucking Christ!
1220
00:51:01,653 --> 00:51:04,050
(Iota Tim groans)
(gun cocks)
1221
00:51:04,050 --> 00:51:04,980
What the hell?
1222
00:51:05,981 --> 00:51:08,814
(Iota Tim groans)
1223
00:51:10,290 --> 00:51:12,363
Okay. Let's be cool, man.
1224
00:51:12,363 --> 00:51:14,580
Whoa, whoa, whoa, please.
- You said that already!
1225
00:51:15,521 --> 00:51:18,098
- When?
- When I killed you!
1226
00:51:18,098 --> 00:51:19,153
Motherfucker.
1227
00:51:19,153 --> 00:51:21,840
And then I killed you at the coffee stand.
1228
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,850
And then I was in the
restaurant with that lady-
1229
00:51:23,850 --> 00:51:26,758
- Fucking Delilah.
- And I killed you again.
1230
00:51:26,758 --> 00:51:28,860
- Oh, so, so you're the guy?
1231
00:51:28,860 --> 00:51:30,540
- I'm the guy.
1232
00:51:30,540 --> 00:51:31,610
And you...
1233
00:51:33,249 --> 00:51:34,332
What are you?
1234
00:51:37,648 --> 00:51:38,580
Are you
1235
00:51:38,580 --> 00:51:39,413
a god?
1236
00:51:40,890 --> 00:51:43,200
- Well, metaphorically, everyone's a God,
1237
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,610
from their own perspective, so-
1238
00:51:44,610 --> 00:51:46,980
- Literally! Are you a god?
1239
00:51:46,980 --> 00:51:48,360
- No, no! No, not a god.
1240
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,369
Not a god. Not yet!
1241
00:51:50,369 --> 00:51:51,202
(electricity crackling)
1242
00:51:51,202 --> 00:51:54,360
- Behind that door lies our future!
1243
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,190
- Or present, technically.
1244
00:51:56,190 --> 00:51:57,040
- What? Whatever!
1245
00:51:59,829 --> 00:52:02,300
The paradox is within our
ability to understand.
1246
00:52:04,530 --> 00:52:06,000
To control.
1247
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,190
Now, at long last-
1248
00:52:08,190 --> 00:52:09,480
- Oh, my God! get on with it already!
1249
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,780
- I was, you dingus!
(metal clanging)
1250
00:52:12,780 --> 00:52:15,290
Now, at long last...
1251
00:52:16,230 --> 00:52:18,393
Let's go unmake history.
1252
00:52:19,609 --> 00:52:22,609
(suspenseful music)
1253
00:52:23,569 --> 00:52:28,275
(button thumps)
(electricity crackling)
1254
00:52:28,275 --> 00:52:30,786
(explosions thumping)
1255
00:52:30,786 --> 00:52:32,175
- Oh, shit.
1256
00:52:32,175 --> 00:52:34,591
(explosions roaring)
(Tims screaming)
1257
00:52:34,591 --> 00:52:36,008
- [Tim] Oh, shit!
1258
00:52:37,574 --> 00:52:40,062
(explosions thumping)
1259
00:52:40,062 --> 00:52:41,430
- Fuck, fuck!
1260
00:52:41,430 --> 00:52:43,089
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
1261
00:52:43,089 --> 00:52:45,243
(explosions thumping)
1262
00:52:45,243 --> 00:52:50,243
(Tims yelling)
(explosions roaring)
1263
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,966
(body thumps)
1264
00:52:53,966 --> 00:52:55,972
- [Tim] Oh, shit! It's gonna go insane!
1265
00:52:55,972 --> 00:52:59,231
(Tims yelling)
1266
00:52:59,231 --> 00:53:01,814
(siren blares)
1267
00:53:04,079 --> 00:53:04,912
- Oh, my...
1268
00:53:04,912 --> 00:53:07,360
(Tim and Helter grunting)
1269
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:10,190
(guns clanging)
(Tim groans)
1270
00:53:10,190 --> 00:53:11,299
(gun fires)
1271
00:53:11,299 --> 00:53:12,819
- Oh, wow!
1272
00:53:12,819 --> 00:53:16,304
(Tims grunting)
1273
00:53:16,304 --> 00:53:18,721
- Don't worry! I'll help you!
1274
00:53:20,584 --> 00:53:21,942
(flames roaring)
1275
00:53:21,942 --> 00:53:24,243
(Tim screaming)
1276
00:53:24,243 --> 00:53:26,826
(Tims yelling)
1277
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,056
(Tim and Helter grunting)
1278
00:53:31,056 --> 00:53:32,691
(Helter grunts)
- Come on!
1279
00:53:32,691 --> 00:53:36,432
(gun cocks)
(Helter pants)
1280
00:53:36,432 --> 00:53:37,531
(Helter grunts)
1281
00:53:37,531 --> 00:53:38,607
- Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!
1282
00:53:38,607 --> 00:53:39,859
(gun fires)
1283
00:53:39,859 --> 00:53:41,849
(Helter pants)
1284
00:53:41,849 --> 00:53:46,849
(explosion roars)
(ominous music continues)
1285
00:53:51,776 --> 00:53:55,276
(ominous music continues)
1286
00:53:58,385 --> 00:54:02,435
(explosion roars)
(glass shatters)
1287
00:54:02,435 --> 00:54:05,102
(wind whistles)
1288
00:54:06,337 --> 00:54:08,985
(embers sizzling)
1289
00:54:08,985 --> 00:54:12,402
(hamster wheel scraping)
1290
00:54:14,830 --> 00:54:18,163
(electricity crackling)
1291
00:54:19,910 --> 00:54:22,590
(Delta Tim screaming)
1292
00:54:22,590 --> 00:54:24,475
- [Delta Tim] I'm still on fire! (screams)
1293
00:54:24,475 --> 00:54:29,475
Put me out, put me out,
put me out! (screams)
1294
00:54:29,614 --> 00:54:32,614
(Gamma Tim panting)
1295
00:54:38,057 --> 00:54:41,890
(distant light bulbs buzzing)
1296
00:54:42,977 --> 00:54:45,560
(somber music)
1297
00:54:50,583 --> 00:54:51,666
- I, I, uh...
1298
00:54:55,895 --> 00:54:56,728
Help?
1299
00:54:58,910 --> 00:55:02,327
(somber music continues)
1300
00:55:05,561 --> 00:55:06,394
That did
1301
00:55:08,190 --> 00:55:09,023
not go
1302
00:55:10,611 --> 00:55:11,444
great.
1303
00:55:11,444 --> 00:55:13,771
- Just take it, take it easy, okay?
1304
00:55:13,771 --> 00:55:15,347
That's, um...
1305
00:55:15,347 --> 00:55:20,296
That's gonna be bitch a
to patch up. (chuckles)
1306
00:55:20,296 --> 00:55:21,330
But you're gonna be all right.
You're gonna be all right.
1307
00:55:21,330 --> 00:55:22,163
I just need...
1308
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:24,243
We just need to think.
1309
00:55:27,434 --> 00:55:32,434
I just, I just need to think. Um...
1310
00:55:35,474 --> 00:55:38,607
I, I, I don't, I don't know...
1311
00:55:38,607 --> 00:55:39,513
I'm sorry.
1312
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:45,173
(somber music continues)
1313
00:55:45,173 --> 00:55:46,173
- It's okay.
1314
00:55:47,043 --> 00:55:48,033
It's okay.
1315
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:53,830
Just hang out with me for a minute.
1316
00:55:56,220 --> 00:55:57,053
Please.
1317
00:55:58,419 --> 00:56:00,200
- Okay. (sniffles)
1318
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:01,033
Okay.
1319
00:56:02,891 --> 00:56:04,320
Just one minute. That's all you get.
1320
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:08,529
(Omicron Tim chuckling and gagging)
1321
00:56:08,529 --> 00:56:11,196
- I wish there was a multiverse.
1322
00:56:14,032 --> 00:56:15,949
So that I could be the,
1323
00:56:17,834 --> 00:56:21,417
the version of me that
was brave enough to,
1324
00:56:22,403 --> 00:56:23,986
to tell you that...
1325
00:56:28,494 --> 00:56:31,911
(somber music continues)
1326
00:56:37,235 --> 00:56:40,014
(somber music continues)
1327
00:56:40,014 --> 00:56:43,022
- [Delta Tim] (screaming)
I'm still on fire!
1328
00:56:43,022 --> 00:56:47,115
(fire extinguisher hissing)
1329
00:56:47,115 --> 00:56:51,203
(somber music continues)
1330
00:56:51,203 --> 00:56:54,413
Thank you. (sighs)
- You're welcome.
1331
00:56:54,413 --> 00:56:57,246
(Tims chattering)
1332
00:56:59,034 --> 00:57:01,685
(phone rings)
1333
00:57:01,685 --> 00:57:04,320
(Helter grunts)
(phone rings)
1334
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:05,400
- Helter?
- King!
1335
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:07,290
He made a sky beam.
1336
00:57:07,290 --> 00:57:11,040
A Marvel fucking sky beam!
1337
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:12,240
Send in Royce!
1338
00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:16,618
- [Kingmaker] He's already
on his way. (chuckles)
1339
00:57:16,618 --> 00:57:19,620
- [Omega Tim] (sighs)
Power's down. Reactor's down.
1340
00:57:19,620 --> 00:57:23,160
Four Tims are dead. The
accelerator's still working.
1341
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,863
But, uh, Iota is still missing.
1342
00:57:26,970 --> 00:57:28,593
It's a three-ring shit-show.
1343
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:30,750
Fuck me.
1344
00:57:30,750 --> 00:57:31,700
- [Delta Tim] Um...
1345
00:57:32,580 --> 00:57:34,263
Why can we still see through it?
1346
00:57:39,900 --> 00:57:43,390
- 'Cause in the future,
we get it working again
1347
00:57:45,450 --> 00:57:49,563
and send the energy backwards,
just like the matter.
1348
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,120
(Tim chuckles)
1349
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:55,983
This has only been a minor setback.
1350
00:57:57,605 --> 00:58:00,197
- Enough!
- Huh?
1351
00:58:00,197 --> 00:58:01,357
- [Omega Tim] What?
1352
00:58:01,357 --> 00:58:03,333
- I said, enough!
1353
00:58:03,333 --> 00:58:05,430
I am done. I am, I am out!
1354
00:58:05,430 --> 00:58:07,527
Everything has gotten too,
too confusing and too,
1355
00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:09,110
too painful, too...
1356
00:58:12,570 --> 00:58:13,413
Too sad.
1357
00:58:15,690 --> 00:58:16,650
That's it.
1358
00:58:16,650 --> 00:58:17,670
I'm, I'm, I'm out.
1359
00:58:17,670 --> 00:58:20,523
- You can't leave. You are Tim Travers!
1360
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:24,033
- Well, at least I'm not you!
1361
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,780
- We are all you!
1362
00:58:27,780 --> 00:58:29,313
Separated by a few hours.
1363
00:58:30,177 --> 00:58:32,940
(Gamma Tim chuckles)
1364
00:58:32,940 --> 00:58:35,763
- Sometimes, a few hours
can change a person.
1365
00:58:40,450 --> 00:58:43,700
(brooding synth music)
1366
00:58:48,968 --> 00:58:52,968
(machine humming and crackling)
1367
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:01,963
(brooding synth music continues)
1368
00:59:07,260 --> 00:59:08,430
- [Zeta Tim] Delta!
1369
00:59:08,430 --> 00:59:09,580
Got your coffee, Delta.
1370
00:59:10,418 --> 00:59:13,050
(coffee splashes)
(Delta Tim yelps)
1371
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:14,752
Keep up with the good work, bud.
1372
00:59:14,752 --> 00:59:15,690
(Tim groaning)
1373
00:59:15,690 --> 00:59:17,818
And it's the left clamp.
1374
00:59:17,818 --> 00:59:21,643
(door clunks)
(Tim groaning)
1375
00:59:21,643 --> 00:59:24,240
May I have the wrench
from you? The wrench.
1376
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:25,573
The wrench!
- Ow!
1377
00:59:27,645 --> 00:59:28,895
- And up!
- Woo!
1378
00:59:31,802 --> 00:59:35,885
(brooding synth music continues)
1379
00:59:40,634 --> 00:59:44,717
(brooding synth music continues)
1380
00:59:49,522 --> 00:59:53,605
(brooding synth music continues)
1381
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:01,776
(brooding synth music continues)
1382
01:00:01,776 --> 01:00:04,193
- I'm where you said to meet.
1383
01:00:05,056 --> 01:00:08,806
He's supposed to be the
frickin' expert, man!
1384
01:00:12,386 --> 01:00:14,357
(ominous music)
1385
01:00:14,357 --> 01:00:19,357
Whoa!
1386
01:00:23,146 --> 01:00:26,646
(ominous music continues)
1387
01:00:27,900 --> 01:00:30,567
(goon chuckles)
1388
01:00:31,770 --> 01:00:32,603
- Kingmaker?
1389
01:00:35,430 --> 01:00:36,353
Yo, King!
1390
01:00:38,538 --> 01:00:40,350
Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. (chuckles)
1391
01:00:40,350 --> 01:00:42,660
Disrespectful, incompetent.
1392
01:00:42,660 --> 01:00:44,010
Yada, yada, yada, I know.
1393
01:00:44,010 --> 01:00:45,918
- He's talking about Travers, right?
1394
01:00:45,918 --> 01:00:47,156
(goons chuckling)
1395
01:00:47,156 --> 01:00:48,990
- Hey, it's no problem.
1396
01:00:48,990 --> 01:00:51,736
Yeah, I tell you what I'm gonna do.
1397
01:00:51,736 --> 01:00:55,710
I'm gonna cut his dick
off, and feed it to him.
1398
01:00:55,710 --> 01:01:00,360
I'll send you pics when I'm
done, all right? (chuckles)
1399
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,610
- There's more than one of
him, or he might be immortal.
1400
01:01:02,610 --> 01:01:05,472
He might be a god, man!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
1401
01:01:05,472 --> 01:01:06,960
Hey, hey.
1402
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:07,793
Relax.
1403
01:01:08,944 --> 01:01:10,650
A few kills under your belt,
1404
01:01:10,650 --> 01:01:14,010
and you think it's
gonna be smooth sailin'.
1405
01:01:14,010 --> 01:01:14,843
Then...
1406
01:01:15,990 --> 01:01:17,103
The guilt sets in.
1407
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:19,590
Can't shoot guilt!
1408
01:01:19,590 --> 01:01:22,173
So, you start seein'
things that aren't there.
1409
01:01:24,810 --> 01:01:26,013
Burnout is real.
1410
01:01:26,970 --> 01:01:27,803
Right, fellas?
1411
01:01:29,021 --> 01:01:31,230
- I swear to you, I am not crazy.
1412
01:01:31,230 --> 01:01:34,247
- Don't worry about it,
okay? We believe you.
1413
01:01:35,773 --> 01:01:36,949
(goons chuckling)
1414
01:01:36,949 --> 01:01:37,980
In fact, you know what I'll let you do?
1415
01:01:37,980 --> 01:01:40,263
I'll even let you watch.
Would you like that?
1416
01:01:42,270 --> 01:01:45,306
- I would like that very
much, please. Thank you.
1417
01:01:45,306 --> 01:01:47,220
(ominous music)
(goons chuckling)
1418
01:01:47,220 --> 01:01:48,920
- Let's try this again.
1419
01:01:51,891 --> 01:01:53,147
(lever clunks)
1420
01:01:53,147 --> 01:01:58,147
(electricity crackling)
(ominous music)
1421
01:02:00,096 --> 01:02:05,096
- [Tim] Very impressive!
1422
01:02:05,355 --> 01:02:06,626
(Tim grunting)
1423
01:02:06,626 --> 01:02:11,626
(Tims chattering)
(ominous music continues)
1424
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,680
- Need more power!
1425
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:18,507
Ready transition to the grid!
1426
01:02:18,507 --> 01:02:20,610
- Oh, fuck you, man!
1427
01:02:20,610 --> 01:02:22,702
- Faster!
1428
01:02:22,702 --> 01:02:25,745
(Delta Tim screaming)
1429
01:02:25,745 --> 01:02:27,963
(Delta Tim groaning)
1430
01:02:27,963 --> 01:02:30,027
(Delta Tim panting)
1431
01:02:30,027 --> 01:02:32,944
(people screaming)
1432
01:02:35,267 --> 01:02:37,306
- (sighs) Idiots.
1433
01:02:37,306 --> 01:02:40,050
- For the last time, Carol.
I'm not going to harm myself!
1434
01:02:40,050 --> 01:02:42,063
It was a different Delilah!
1435
01:02:43,484 --> 01:02:45,063
(sighs) Who I killed.
1436
01:02:48,258 --> 01:02:49,616
(eerie music)
1437
01:02:49,616 --> 01:02:50,640
(Delilah sighs)
1438
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:52,353
Fuck Tim Travers.
1439
01:02:52,353 --> 01:02:53,910
(muffled chatter from phone)
1440
01:02:53,910 --> 01:02:55,383
No, I don't mean sexually!
1441
01:02:56,714 --> 01:02:59,964
(brooding synth music)
1442
01:03:01,260 --> 01:03:03,840
- As I said.
1443
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:07,023
Behind that door lies our future!
1444
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:10,507
It's like Mom always used to say.
1445
01:03:10,507 --> 01:03:12,120
"You're not a great person, Tim.
1446
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:13,470
Hell, you're not even a very good person.
1447
01:03:13,470 --> 01:03:17,760
But what you are is a great scientist!"
1448
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:19,920
No matter how strange or bizarre,
1449
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:22,890
we, we follow the evidence.
1450
01:03:22,890 --> 01:03:26,010
Mortal laws no longer apply
to us, and in a few seconds,
1451
01:03:26,010 --> 01:03:28,443
even the laws of nature
won't apply anymore!
1452
01:03:29,490 --> 01:03:32,190
And I know that you know I know that
1453
01:03:32,190 --> 01:03:34,773
because you know I know that you know!
1454
01:03:36,762 --> 01:03:38,730
(Zeta Tim chuckles)
1455
01:03:38,730 --> 01:03:39,563
Come along.
1456
01:03:40,830 --> 01:03:42,273
Let's go unmake history.
1457
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:47,901
(brooding synth music continues)
1458
01:03:47,901 --> 01:03:50,119
(Beta Tim sighs)
1459
01:03:50,119 --> 01:03:52,319
Holy shit! Oh, oh!
1460
01:03:52,319 --> 01:03:53,939
Fuck!
1461
01:03:53,939 --> 01:03:54,772
No, hey!
1462
01:03:59,324 --> 01:04:01,170
Holy fuck. We blew up the universe.
1463
01:04:01,170 --> 01:04:02,743
- We can't have destroyed it!
- Then where is it?
1464
01:04:02,743 --> 01:04:04,762
- Gone!
- That is impossible.
1465
01:04:04,762 --> 01:04:05,624
- [Zeta Tim] Help me!
1466
01:04:05,624 --> 01:04:07,044
- What the fuck about this
day has led you to believe
1467
01:04:07,044 --> 01:04:08,531
that anything could be impossible?
1468
01:04:08,531 --> 01:04:09,364
- [Omega Tim] If the universe were gone,
1469
01:04:09,364 --> 01:04:10,470
then its laws should be gone, too.
1470
01:04:10,470 --> 01:04:11,820
- Why are you talking
about this right now?
1471
01:04:11,820 --> 01:04:12,960
- Gravity is still in play.
1472
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,120
Where is that coming from,
if there's no more universe?
1473
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:16,770
- Hey, he's right!
1474
01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:18,660
- What ar you? Okay, he's right!
1475
01:04:18,660 --> 01:04:19,560
Pull me up! What the fuck?
1476
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:21,600
- Who cares where it's coming
from if there's no more Earth?
1477
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:23,063
- I do!
1478
01:04:23,063 --> 01:04:26,450
(foot stomps)
- You bastard!
1479
01:04:26,450 --> 01:04:28,230
- You just killed Zeta Tim.
1480
01:04:28,230 --> 01:04:32,070
- Well, yeah, but I mean, he
was creeping everybody out.
1481
01:04:32,070 --> 01:04:32,903
Right?
1482
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:38,700
(footsteps clomping)
1483
01:04:38,700 --> 01:04:40,618
- [Tim] Bad, bad. Bad, bad,
bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
1484
01:04:40,618 --> 01:04:42,927
(Tims yelling)
1485
01:04:42,927 --> 01:04:44,460
- That's, that's it? That's the paradox?
1486
01:04:44,460 --> 01:04:47,280
Just an unending black room?
1487
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,113
- Maybe.
1488
01:04:50,546 --> 01:04:53,296
(lighter flicks)
1489
01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:58,553
But I think not.
1490
01:04:59,667 --> 01:05:01,500
Now, stay with me on this.
1491
01:05:01,500 --> 01:05:03,750
Imagine the, uh, two conflicting timelines
1492
01:05:03,750 --> 01:05:05,730
are more like differently
charged particles.
1493
01:05:05,730 --> 01:05:06,563
- But why would they do that?
1494
01:05:06,563 --> 01:05:08,130
- I said, "Stay with me."
1495
01:05:08,130 --> 01:05:09,720
Now, the paradox brings the two
1496
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:11,370
differently charged timelines together,
1497
01:05:11,370 --> 01:05:13,410
destroying both and removing
the conflicting information.
1498
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:14,910
- The only place that information
1499
01:05:14,910 --> 01:05:16,260
can be destroyed is a singularity.
1500
01:05:16,260 --> 01:05:17,670
- Exactly!
1501
01:05:17,670 --> 01:05:20,520
Black holes reduce
information to max entropy,
1502
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:23,910
which means that the
natural response in nature
1503
01:05:23,910 --> 01:05:26,880
to a paradox is a black hole.
1504
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:28,890
- So, we didn't destroy the universe!
1505
01:05:28,890 --> 01:05:31,390
We just created a black
hole in that timeline that
1506
01:05:33,090 --> 01:05:36,750
destroyed the Earth and, and
killed everyone that we know.
1507
01:05:36,750 --> 01:05:37,583
- Oh, boy.
1508
01:05:38,550 --> 01:05:39,383
- Hold on, hold on.
1509
01:05:39,383 --> 01:05:40,620
If we created a black
hole in that timeline,
1510
01:05:40,620 --> 01:05:42,270
then how come Zeta Tim,
when we dropped him in,
1511
01:05:42,270 --> 01:05:43,103
could still breathe?
1512
01:05:43,103 --> 01:05:45,210
- Fuck off! I don't
know everything, Sigma!
1513
01:05:45,210 --> 01:05:47,640
I mean, this week, I
entangled and stored particles
1514
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:49,170
matched them to the
physical space of a door,
1515
01:05:49,170 --> 01:05:50,910
invented fucking time travel,
1516
01:05:50,910 --> 01:05:53,143
and may have just found a new
way to create black holes!
1517
01:05:53,143 --> 01:05:55,818
So, cut me some fucking slack!
1518
01:05:55,818 --> 01:05:59,010
- (sighs) I mean, maybe, if
you were able to cheat your way
1519
01:05:59,010 --> 01:06:01,830
past the spaghettification
of an, of an event horizon,
1520
01:06:01,830 --> 01:06:03,960
then you would be moving
faster than the speed of light
1521
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,510
and frozen in time,
relative to the universe.
1522
01:06:06,510 --> 01:06:09,510
But you would continue to
perceive the passage of time
1523
01:06:09,510 --> 01:06:13,740
as an illusion and just stay
in that state forever, maybe!
1524
01:06:13,740 --> 01:06:18,543
- So, Zeta Tim will be
falling through the void,
1525
01:06:20,190 --> 01:06:25,190
without aging or dying, literally forever?
1526
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:27,150
- Well, shit. Now I feel bad.
1527
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:28,320
- An important safety tip.
1528
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:31,497
Nobody ever go the, the other way through.
1529
01:06:31,497 --> 01:06:34,664
(door motor whirring)
1530
01:06:37,980 --> 01:06:42,090
- Makes sense to me! (chuckling)
1531
01:06:42,090 --> 01:06:42,963
See, kid?
1532
01:06:44,490 --> 01:06:45,453
Not magic.
1533
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:47,760
Just power.
1534
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:49,894
- Sorry, but who the hell are...
1535
01:06:49,894 --> 01:06:51,125
(Tims yelping)
1536
01:06:51,125 --> 01:06:52,080
- Oh!
1537
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:53,040
- Yeah!
1538
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:56,700
Nice work. (chuckles)
1539
01:06:56,700 --> 01:07:01,260
Arthritis sets in, you
gotta start delegating,
1540
01:07:01,260 --> 01:07:02,550
you know, as you get older.
1541
01:07:02,550 --> 01:07:04,130
- If I may, uh...
1542
01:07:04,130 --> 01:07:06,270
Is this all about the stolen plutonium?
1543
01:07:06,270 --> 01:07:09,600
- Yeah. It's about the plutonium.
1544
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:12,900
How the hell do you
forget about plutonium?
1545
01:07:12,900 --> 01:07:14,313
- Oh, that I stole.
1546
01:07:15,210 --> 01:07:18,003
- It's been a weird day.
- Weird, confusing.
1547
01:07:19,069 --> 01:07:20,463
Really, really stupid.
1548
01:07:21,300 --> 01:07:25,706
Although, it's about to get stupider!
1549
01:07:25,706 --> 01:07:28,539
(energy rumbling)
1550
01:07:29,850 --> 01:07:32,086
- [Light Figure] Arrogant mortals!
1551
01:07:32,086 --> 01:07:33,766
You're tampering with the very programming
1552
01:07:33,766 --> 01:07:34,653
of reality itself!
1553
01:07:34,653 --> 01:07:36,705
- Holo-Universe. Fuckin' called it.
1554
01:07:36,705 --> 01:07:38,820
- Shut the fuck up!
- Who the fuck are you?
1555
01:07:38,820 --> 01:07:39,653
- Good question.
1556
01:07:39,653 --> 01:07:41,764
- [Light Figure] Who the
fuck do you think I am?
1557
01:07:41,764 --> 01:07:43,804
I'm God, you miserable little shits!
1558
01:07:43,804 --> 01:07:44,637
- Now, that's it. I'm done.
1559
01:07:44,637 --> 01:07:48,330
If God actually exists, then I'm out.
1560
01:07:48,330 --> 01:07:49,700
Later, everybody.
1561
01:07:51,588 --> 01:07:53,457
(Alpha Tim whistling)
1562
01:07:53,457 --> 01:07:56,640
- Hey! Did you just let that guy leave?
1563
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:58,680
- I don't understand
what's happening right now!
1564
01:07:58,680 --> 01:07:59,910
- Me neither. Uh...
1565
01:07:59,910 --> 01:08:03,780
When you say God, do you mean
like, like a god or God, God?
1566
01:08:03,780 --> 01:08:05,520
You know? I just, I have
some follow-up questions.
1567
01:08:05,520 --> 01:08:07,410
To the statement, "I am God." (chuckles)
1568
01:08:07,410 --> 01:08:12,004
- And I think you're
full of shit! (chuckles)
1569
01:08:12,004 --> 01:08:13,634
(flesh squelches)
1570
01:08:19,226 --> 01:08:22,500
(suspenseful music)
1571
01:08:22,500 --> 01:08:24,380
- Just to be clear...
1572
01:08:25,410 --> 01:08:28,035
He did not speak for the group.
1573
01:08:28,035 --> 01:08:29,704
(Helter yelps)
1574
01:08:29,704 --> 01:08:30,537
- You idiot!
1575
01:08:30,537 --> 01:08:32,870
(gun fires)
1576
01:08:36,532 --> 01:08:39,699
(warm ethereal music)
1577
01:08:42,752 --> 01:08:45,835
Hey! I dunno what's gonna happen now!
1578
01:08:47,122 --> 01:08:48,661
- What are you?
1579
01:08:48,661 --> 01:08:50,509
- Thought I told you.
1580
01:08:50,509 --> 01:08:55,129
I'm the Alpha and Omega that's
about to own your bitch ass.
1581
01:08:55,129 --> 01:08:58,023
(flesh squelches)
1582
01:08:58,023 --> 01:09:00,856
(flesh squelches)
1583
01:09:03,434 --> 01:09:05,601
- Oh, you son of a fuck...
1584
01:09:06,455 --> 01:09:07,613
- Yeah!
- Woo!
1585
01:09:07,613 --> 01:09:09,125
- [God Tim] Shut up!
1586
01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:10,973
Forgot how annoying I am.
1587
01:09:10,973 --> 01:09:11,973
- Sorry. Um...
1588
01:09:11,973 --> 01:09:13,402
"I"?
1589
01:09:13,402 --> 01:09:15,002
(flesh squelches)
1590
01:09:15,002 --> 01:09:17,690
(warm ethereal music continues)
1591
01:09:17,690 --> 01:09:19,940
- Do you know what it's
like to fall forever?
1592
01:09:21,373 --> 01:09:23,680
Unable to starve, unable to die.
1593
01:09:23,680 --> 01:09:25,050
You go mad!
1594
01:09:25,050 --> 01:09:27,990
You begin to create new
realities in your mind,
1595
01:09:27,990 --> 01:09:30,083
so as to not be so completely alone.
1596
01:09:32,169 --> 01:09:34,168
You refine and perfect each iteration,
1597
01:09:34,168 --> 01:09:36,420
until you can run a simulation so flawless
1598
01:09:36,420 --> 01:09:38,190
that from the frame of the beings within,
1599
01:09:38,190 --> 01:09:39,417
the difference between their reality
1600
01:09:39,417 --> 01:09:41,523
and a physical one is semantics.
1601
01:09:43,279 --> 01:09:44,679
And you do it over and over,
1602
01:09:45,870 --> 01:09:47,250
until a perfect recreation
1603
01:09:47,250 --> 01:09:49,450
of your original reality
can be constructed.
1604
01:09:50,959 --> 01:09:52,170
That
1605
01:09:52,170 --> 01:09:55,917
is how you achieve God-hood, bitches.
1606
01:09:55,917 --> 01:09:59,400
- So, the universe is just a
simulated reality in your head?
1607
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:00,233
- Yes.
1608
01:10:00,233 --> 01:10:01,819
- Based on the reality
that you originated from?
1609
01:10:01,819 --> 01:10:02,652
- Yes!
1610
01:10:02,652 --> 01:10:05,010
- A reality in which you
were the Zeta Tim that we...
1611
01:10:05,010 --> 01:10:08,580
Sorry. He dropped into a black hole?
1612
01:10:08,580 --> 01:10:09,450
- Yes.
1613
01:10:09,450 --> 01:10:10,283
- Dude!
1614
01:10:10,283 --> 01:10:12,870
- I created this universe
for the sole purpose
1615
01:10:12,870 --> 01:10:14,803
of arriving at this very moment.
1616
01:10:14,803 --> 01:10:17,503
- To tell us that you love and forgive us?
1617
01:10:18,522 --> 01:10:21,392
(God Tim chuckles)
1618
01:10:21,392 --> 01:10:22,225
- No.
1619
01:10:24,242 --> 01:10:26,371
(Omega Tim pops)
1620
01:10:26,371 --> 01:10:28,091
(Pi Tim pops)
1621
01:10:28,091 --> 01:10:30,312
(Chi Tim pops)
1622
01:10:30,312 --> 01:10:33,302
- (groans) Fuckin' why?
1623
01:10:33,302 --> 01:10:36,219
(Epsilon Tim pops)
1624
01:10:37,611 --> 01:10:39,091
- Come on.
1625
01:10:39,091 --> 01:10:41,674
(Rho Tim pops)
1626
01:10:42,719 --> 01:10:44,610
- [James] It starts with
the cause. We will stop-
1627
01:10:44,610 --> 01:10:45,660
- Weren't you just-
1628
01:10:46,571 --> 01:10:49,110
- Yeah. I just got one of those faces.
1629
01:10:49,110 --> 01:10:49,943
I know.
1630
01:10:49,943 --> 01:10:52,850
You would not believe the
weird shit I have seen today.
1631
01:10:52,850 --> 01:10:53,683
(Tim chuckles)
1632
01:10:53,683 --> 01:10:55,230
- [James] Illegal Canadians coming down-
1633
01:10:55,230 --> 01:10:58,920
- You buy me this drink,
and I'll blow your mind.
1634
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:00,810
- [James] As you know,
they can't buy homes-
1635
01:11:00,810 --> 01:11:03,078
- Listen, I...
(Alpha Tim creaking)
1636
01:11:03,078 --> 01:11:05,790
(Alpha Tim pops)
(flesh splatters)
1637
01:11:05,790 --> 01:11:08,970
- [James] Live the American
dream, but no, they are poor.
1638
01:11:08,970 --> 01:11:12,240
And, uh, you know, my heart
goes out to 'em and my heart-
1639
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:13,540
- Oh, man, that felt good!
1640
01:11:16,245 --> 01:11:17,616
Oh, yes.
1641
01:11:17,616 --> 01:11:20,327
Yes, yes, yes. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah!
1642
01:11:20,327 --> 01:11:24,037
Fuck yeah! (laughs)
1643
01:11:24,037 --> 01:11:25,573
Oh!
1644
01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:29,406
Ah. (sighs)
1645
01:11:31,763 --> 01:11:34,666
(chuckles) Of course, now I wonder...
1646
01:11:34,666 --> 01:11:36,331
(gun fires)
1647
01:11:36,331 --> 01:11:38,831
(body thumps)
1648
01:11:40,381 --> 01:11:41,214
- Hm.
1649
01:11:42,752 --> 01:11:43,585
Hm.
1650
01:11:44,859 --> 01:11:47,376
Yes, apparently it is
possible to kill God.
1651
01:11:47,376 --> 01:11:48,815
Hm.
1652
01:11:48,815 --> 01:11:50,575
(electronic tones chirping)
1653
01:11:50,575 --> 01:11:53,575
(New God Tim sighs)
1654
01:11:57,807 --> 01:11:59,567
Still feel like I'm forgetting something.
1655
01:11:59,567 --> 01:12:03,090
(bartender screams)
1656
01:12:03,090 --> 01:12:04,890
- [James] They're always screaming at me.
1657
01:12:04,890 --> 01:12:07,634
I can't understand 'em. He's
gotta do something about it.
1658
01:12:07,634 --> 01:12:10,095
- Can, can I get another one? Um...
1659
01:12:10,095 --> 01:12:12,034
(bartender screams)
1660
01:12:12,034 --> 01:12:12,951
Okay, look.
1661
01:12:14,690 --> 01:12:18,440
(muffled chatter from radio)
1662
01:12:19,776 --> 01:12:23,526
- (grunts) Travers. Travers!
1663
01:12:25,959 --> 01:12:27,869
- [Gamma Tim] Me?
1664
01:12:27,869 --> 01:12:29,738
- How could I forget something?
1665
01:12:29,738 --> 01:12:32,405
Omnipotence knows no exceptions!
1666
01:12:34,575 --> 01:12:37,999
Unless I didn't create this universe.
1667
01:12:37,999 --> 01:12:38,832
I...
1668
01:12:40,009 --> 01:12:41,426
I just hacked it.
1669
01:12:43,187 --> 01:12:45,187
Which would mean that...
1670
01:12:48,359 --> 01:12:49,359
I'm limited.
1671
01:12:52,268 --> 01:12:54,518
Just another meek little...
1672
01:12:56,119 --> 01:12:57,036
No, no, no!
1673
01:13:01,177 --> 01:13:02,177
Well, maybe.
1674
01:13:09,028 --> 01:13:10,262
Not for long.
1675
01:13:10,262 --> 01:13:13,429
(ominous synth music)
1676
01:13:14,571 --> 01:13:17,702
(machine rattling)
1677
01:13:17,702 --> 01:13:19,811
♪ I'm not gone ♪
1678
01:13:19,811 --> 01:13:21,499
- Do these look even?
(bartender screams)
1679
01:13:21,499 --> 01:13:23,136
Oh!
1680
01:13:23,136 --> 01:13:25,218
Oh, that is really getting old.
1681
01:13:25,218 --> 01:13:28,511
(Gamma Tim groans)
1682
01:13:28,511 --> 01:13:29,573
(Royce chuckling)
1683
01:13:29,573 --> 01:13:31,890
So, um, about what we were
talking about earlier.
1684
01:13:31,890 --> 01:13:34,301
- Hey, thank you. (chuckles)
1685
01:13:34,301 --> 01:13:35,700
- Okay, um... (clears throat)
1686
01:13:35,700 --> 01:13:37,530
So, so you and that Helter guy
1687
01:13:37,530 --> 01:13:39,390
were coming here to kill me because-
1688
01:13:39,390 --> 01:13:40,410
- Stolen reactor.
1689
01:13:40,410 --> 01:13:42,922
- Stolen reactor, right. (sighs)
1690
01:13:42,922 --> 01:13:44,310
I knew that radio show was a mistake.
1691
01:13:44,310 --> 01:13:47,040
But, but just so I'm clear,
1692
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,020
you're not gonna kill me now?
1693
01:13:49,020 --> 01:13:50,310
- No.
1694
01:13:50,310 --> 01:13:53,160
You wanna know the secret to a long life?
1695
01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:55,320
Know your limitations.
1696
01:13:55,320 --> 01:13:59,463
The other you killed my men with his mind!
1697
01:14:00,300 --> 01:14:01,590
Look. I'm outta here.
1698
01:14:01,590 --> 01:14:04,470
I'm gonna go home, call my grandkids,
1699
01:14:04,470 --> 01:14:05,973
and tell 'em I love 'em.
1700
01:14:07,830 --> 01:14:09,723
- Wow! You...
1701
01:14:09,723 --> 01:14:11,013
You, you're married?
1702
01:14:12,150 --> 01:14:14,842
With, with kids and
grandkids? That's amazing.
1703
01:14:14,842 --> 01:14:16,440
- The fuck's that supposed to mean?
1704
01:14:16,440 --> 01:14:18,480
- Didn't mean to offend, I...
(Royce growls)
1705
01:14:18,480 --> 01:14:21,930
It's just that you're literally
a professional murderer.
1706
01:14:21,930 --> 01:14:22,980
I mean, does your wife know about that?
1707
01:14:22,980 --> 01:14:26,051
- She thinks it's hot. (chuckles)
1708
01:14:26,051 --> 01:14:26,884
And it is.
1709
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:28,993
- Well...
1710
01:14:30,060 --> 01:14:32,740
Good for you, and her.
1711
01:14:32,740 --> 01:14:34,650
- Mm.
(Tim sighs)
1712
01:14:34,650 --> 01:14:37,503
- Some people are just meant for love.
1713
01:14:39,870 --> 01:14:42,180
Some aren't.
- Ah, bullshit.
1714
01:14:42,180 --> 01:14:47,180
Abusers, rapists, drug dealers,
murderers, politicians,
1715
01:14:47,370 --> 01:14:51,420
pricks on YouTubes,
worst people imaginable,
1716
01:14:51,420 --> 01:14:53,700
most still find someone to love 'em
1717
01:14:53,700 --> 01:14:57,540
in spite of being
worthless fuckin' garbage!
1718
01:14:57,540 --> 01:14:59,313
And that includes you.
1719
01:15:00,270 --> 01:15:02,477
Now, your problem is that you don't know
1720
01:15:02,477 --> 01:15:06,333
how to love yourself, and
nobody can help you with that,
1721
01:15:07,980 --> 01:15:09,633
but you.
1722
01:15:11,794 --> 01:15:12,627
Ah!
1723
01:15:13,740 --> 01:15:15,390
- I loved myself, today.
1724
01:15:15,390 --> 01:15:18,587
- Look, I don't know
what the fuck that means,
1725
01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:23,340
but I'll tell you, you wanna
learn to love yourself,
1726
01:15:23,340 --> 01:15:28,340
you've gotta find the
angriest, ugliest part of you
1727
01:15:28,890 --> 01:15:32,463
and show that son of a
bitch they're beautiful.
1728
01:15:33,641 --> 01:15:35,370
(Tim chuckles)
1729
01:15:35,370 --> 01:15:37,770
- You must have to do that a lot.
1730
01:15:37,770 --> 01:15:38,913
- Screw you.
1731
01:15:41,198 --> 01:15:42,365
I'm beautiful.
1732
01:15:43,287 --> 01:15:46,417
You don't believe me,
just ask my grandkids.
1733
01:15:46,417 --> 01:15:49,167
(both chuckling)
1734
01:15:52,830 --> 01:15:53,727
Where you goin'?
1735
01:15:55,470 --> 01:15:57,270
- Following your advice.
1736
01:15:57,270 --> 01:15:58,620
It's time to meet my maker.
1737
01:16:00,180 --> 01:16:02,980
- Hey, you try to talk to
that guy and you're gonna die!
1738
01:16:05,415 --> 01:16:09,060
(brooding synth music)
1739
01:16:09,060 --> 01:16:10,871
- Wouldn't be the first time. (chuckles)
1740
01:16:10,871 --> 01:16:11,853
(bartender screams)
Oh!
1741
01:16:11,853 --> 01:16:13,443
Come on! Get over it!
1742
01:16:14,764 --> 01:16:15,810
(Tim groans)
1743
01:16:15,810 --> 01:16:17,043
That's why I don't tip!
1744
01:16:18,738 --> 01:16:21,630
(brooding synth music continues)
1745
01:16:21,630 --> 01:16:23,410
What the hell is that?
1746
01:16:24,489 --> 01:16:27,569
(ominous music)
1747
01:16:27,569 --> 01:16:29,659
- Looks like a buildup
of stacked singularities,
1748
01:16:29,659 --> 01:16:30,826
if you ask me.
1749
01:16:31,731 --> 01:16:32,648
- That's...
1750
01:16:33,971 --> 01:16:34,804
Yeah.
1751
01:16:34,804 --> 01:16:37,650
(buildings crumbling)
Holy shit!
1752
01:16:37,650 --> 01:16:40,520
(buildings crumbling)
1753
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:44,010
- And I think we know,
say it out loud together,
1754
01:16:44,010 --> 01:16:45,360
who's starting these fires.
1755
01:16:46,350 --> 01:16:47,697
Illegal Canadians.
1756
01:16:48,868 --> 01:16:53,016
That's right, Illegal Canadians
coming down from Canada
1757
01:16:53,016 --> 01:16:54,703
building themselves these fires,
1758
01:16:54,703 --> 01:16:57,265
because as you know,
they can't buy a home.
1759
01:16:57,265 --> 01:17:00,400
(Royce speaks Spanish)
1760
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:04,254
Look, go grab your mom,
tell her you love her.
1761
01:17:04,254 --> 01:17:07,790
(Royce speaks Spanish)
1762
01:17:07,790 --> 01:17:11,040
(Royce speaks Spanish)
1763
01:17:12,510 --> 01:17:14,897
- Oh, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
1764
01:17:20,251 --> 01:17:21,160
Come on. Pick up, pick up!
1765
01:17:21,160 --> 01:17:23,411
(phone vibrates)
(lighter flicks)
1766
01:17:23,411 --> 01:17:26,220
(phone vibrates)
1767
01:17:26,220 --> 01:17:27,480
- [Delilah] Hello?
1768
01:17:27,480 --> 01:17:29,100
- Hey, uh, Delilah? Yeah, it's, it's Tim.
1769
01:17:29,100 --> 01:17:31,337
The, uh, the, the time travel guy?
1770
01:17:31,337 --> 01:17:34,080
I, uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
1771
01:17:34,080 --> 01:17:35,610
- Oh, this oughta be rich.
1772
01:17:35,610 --> 01:17:36,720
- I just wanted you to know that
1773
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:39,660
we're clearly not going
to be a thing, um...
1774
01:17:39,660 --> 01:17:40,920
- You seriously called to tell me that?
1775
01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:43,890
- And! And to apologize.
1776
01:17:43,890 --> 01:17:46,440
I know I saw a lot of ugly
versions of myself today,
1777
01:17:46,440 --> 01:17:47,670
and I'm pretty sure you did, too!
1778
01:17:47,670 --> 01:17:49,410
So, I'm sorry things
got so out of control,
1779
01:17:49,410 --> 01:17:50,253
and I'm sorry that I failed.
1780
01:17:50,253 --> 01:17:52,200
It's just something that I do.
1781
01:17:52,200 --> 01:17:55,260
I don't know why I do it.
- Honestly, Tim, it's fine.
1782
01:17:55,260 --> 01:17:56,640
I mean, it was fucked up,
1783
01:17:56,640 --> 01:18:00,020
but there's a middle ground
between hate and love and...
1784
01:18:00,930 --> 01:18:02,913
That's us. The middle people.
1785
01:18:03,900 --> 01:18:06,720
- Thanks. I'm gonna try and
put all this back together.
1786
01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:08,100
- I thought you said you weren't gonna try
1787
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:09,170
to make us a thing?
1788
01:18:09,170 --> 01:18:11,400
- [Gamma Tim] No, no, no. I
meant the universe! (chuckles)
1789
01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:12,630
- What about it?
1790
01:18:12,630 --> 01:18:13,653
- Well, what do you mean, "What about it?"
1791
01:18:13,653 --> 01:18:15,230
Have you looked out your wi...
1792
01:18:16,740 --> 01:18:20,940
- Goodbye, Tim, and maybe
try to be nicer to yourself.
1793
01:18:20,940 --> 01:18:21,773
Literally.
1794
01:18:21,773 --> 01:18:24,325
- Believe it or not, that
is actually the idea.
1795
01:18:24,325 --> 01:18:26,992
(ominous music)
1796
01:18:30,609 --> 01:18:32,610
- [Delilah] Fuck.
1797
01:18:32,610 --> 01:18:36,723
- I love you, baby.
(speaks foreign language)
1798
01:18:38,606 --> 01:18:40,560
(thunder claps)
1799
01:18:40,560 --> 01:18:42,344
- So, that's how Bigfoot does it.
1800
01:18:42,344 --> 01:18:45,793
(glass shatters)
1801
01:18:45,793 --> 01:18:47,113
(dog barks)
1802
01:18:47,113 --> 01:18:48,813
- I choose not to believe in that.
1803
01:18:54,126 --> 01:18:57,626
(ominous music continues)
1804
01:19:02,955 --> 01:19:06,455
(ominous music continues)
1805
01:19:10,211 --> 01:19:13,211
(suspenseful music)
1806
01:19:18,886 --> 01:19:22,719
(suspenseful music continues)
1807
01:19:26,056 --> 01:19:29,589
(suspenseful music continues)
1808
01:19:29,589 --> 01:19:31,006
- I remember you.
1809
01:19:32,350 --> 01:19:35,183
You're the one that said a
few hours can change a person.
1810
01:19:36,048 --> 01:19:37,440
(God Tim chuckles)
1811
01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:40,887
Well, you have no idea how right you were.
1812
01:19:43,040 --> 01:19:45,393
Do you know what it's
like to fall forever?
1813
01:19:46,380 --> 01:19:47,670
- Skip.
1814
01:19:47,670 --> 01:19:49,710
I know the universe is
a creation in your head,
1815
01:19:49,710 --> 01:19:51,510
Russian nesting doll
style, and that you're God.
1816
01:19:51,510 --> 01:19:52,410
Royce filled me in.
1817
01:19:52,410 --> 01:19:53,580
I figured out on the way over
1818
01:19:53,580 --> 01:19:55,110
that you couldn't actually be God
1819
01:19:55,110 --> 01:19:57,123
and must've just hacked the system.
1820
01:19:58,499 --> 01:20:02,550
(sighs) And judging by the unraveling,
1821
01:20:02,550 --> 01:20:04,050
I'm guessing you figured that out, too,
1822
01:20:04,050 --> 01:20:06,240
and you're not taking it very well.
1823
01:20:06,240 --> 01:20:10,707
- I'm unmaking this universe
one paradox at a time,
1824
01:20:11,587 --> 01:20:15,170
mounting like gravity
into a singular point
1825
01:20:16,747 --> 01:20:20,730
that will break the whole of creation.
1826
01:20:20,730 --> 01:20:21,563
- As one does.
1827
01:20:21,563 --> 01:20:23,760
- I even murdered the
younger versions of us,
1828
01:20:23,760 --> 01:20:24,860
just to get warmed up.
1829
01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:29,460
- How did that go?
1830
01:20:29,460 --> 01:20:30,480
- Yeah.
1831
01:20:30,480 --> 01:20:34,720
Well, there was a lot
of crying, but you know.
1832
01:20:34,720 --> 01:20:35,735
Children.
1833
01:20:35,735 --> 01:20:37,704
(Gamma Tim scoffs)
1834
01:20:37,704 --> 01:20:40,834
- Damn. Damn, dude, that, that is dark.
1835
01:20:40,834 --> 01:20:42,272
That...
1836
01:20:42,272 --> 01:20:43,290
I mean, I mean that is, that is fucked up.
1837
01:20:43,290 --> 01:20:44,430
Like, even for us.
1838
01:20:44,430 --> 01:20:46,863
- Well, tell that to Potato!
1839
01:20:48,360 --> 01:20:50,340
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
1840
01:20:50,340 --> 01:20:52,350
You know what? You're right!
1841
01:20:52,350 --> 01:20:55,470
You're right, and now that
I'm, I'm thinking about it,
1842
01:20:55,470 --> 01:20:57,120
maybe the reason that we are so alone
1843
01:20:57,120 --> 01:20:59,883
is because we are all so fucking awful!
1844
01:21:01,680 --> 01:21:02,513
- That's us.
1845
01:21:03,660 --> 01:21:05,704
- (sighs) No.
1846
01:21:05,704 --> 01:21:07,890
no, no, no, no, no, no. That, that's me.
1847
01:21:07,890 --> 01:21:11,220
You are something else, entirely.
1848
01:21:11,220 --> 01:21:12,870
Like, I don't know what
eternity did to you,
1849
01:21:12,870 --> 01:21:16,593
but whatever it is, it's ugly.
1850
01:21:16,593 --> 01:21:17,850
It's childish!
1851
01:21:17,850 --> 01:21:20,217
I may be the worst person
in the world, but you,
1852
01:21:20,217 --> 01:21:25,217
you scared, small, whimpering
glitch in the system,
1853
01:21:25,260 --> 01:21:27,570
you are the worst version of the worst guy
1854
01:21:27,570 --> 01:21:28,770
of all fucking time!
1855
01:21:28,770 --> 01:21:31,880
- Second to none, baby. (chuckles)
1856
01:21:32,880 --> 01:21:35,280
- So that's it. That's it?
1857
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:36,990
You're just gonna burn it all down
1858
01:21:36,990 --> 01:21:39,540
until there's nothing left
but a little whining child
1859
01:21:39,540 --> 01:21:41,717
having a temper tantrum
because he's lonely?
1860
01:21:41,717 --> 01:21:43,075
- Burn, baby, burn!
1861
01:21:43,075 --> 01:21:44,852
- Is that really what you want?
1862
01:21:44,852 --> 01:21:49,852
(God Tim roars)
(building crumbling)
1863
01:21:52,119 --> 01:21:55,202
(explosions roaring)
1864
01:22:00,579 --> 01:22:04,079
(brooding ethereal music)
1865
01:22:10,019 --> 01:22:14,352
(brooding ethereal music continues)
1866
01:22:17,836 --> 01:22:20,503
(Zeta Tim sobs)
1867
01:22:23,550 --> 01:22:24,423
- Are you okay?
1868
01:22:26,861 --> 01:22:28,520
- Yeah. (sniffles) Yeah, um...
1869
01:22:29,696 --> 01:22:32,667
(sighs) Sorry. That was
literally building forever.
1870
01:22:32,667 --> 01:22:33,840
(Zeta Tim chuckles)
1871
01:22:33,840 --> 01:22:35,290
They left me in a black hole.
1872
01:22:37,920 --> 01:22:39,820
They left me alone, literally forever.
1873
01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:43,650
- Yeah, that wasn't cool. (sighs)
1874
01:22:43,650 --> 01:22:47,420
Not that it matters, but I
wasn't a part of that, so...
1875
01:22:48,454 --> 01:22:50,093
- Guess that makes you the best of us.
1876
01:22:51,720 --> 01:22:52,770
- Grading on a curve.
1877
01:22:58,560 --> 01:22:59,393
What is that?
1878
01:23:01,971 --> 01:23:03,270
- Oh, that's the...
1879
01:23:03,270 --> 01:23:04,170
That's the center.
1880
01:23:05,220 --> 01:23:08,070
The universe never used to have a center,
1881
01:23:08,070 --> 01:23:09,570
but, but now that it's broken,
1882
01:23:10,890 --> 01:23:12,540
that's the center of what's left.
1883
01:23:19,140 --> 01:23:19,973
Please?
1884
01:23:22,440 --> 01:23:23,640
Let's find out together?
1885
01:23:25,222 --> 01:23:26,742
- Why not?
1886
01:23:26,742 --> 01:23:29,952
(Zeta Tim chuckles)
1887
01:23:29,952 --> 01:23:33,202
(dramatic synth music)
1888
01:23:38,833 --> 01:23:42,916
(dramatic synth music continues)
1889
01:23:47,640 --> 01:23:51,723
(dramatic synth music continues)
1890
01:23:56,512 --> 01:24:00,595
(dramatic synth music continues)
1891
01:24:05,332 --> 01:24:09,415
(dramatic synth music continues)
1892
01:24:14,210 --> 01:24:18,087
(gentle ethereal music)
1893
01:24:18,087 --> 01:24:19,290
- And you are?
1894
01:24:19,290 --> 01:24:21,450
- [Simulator] I am that I am.
1895
01:24:21,450 --> 01:24:25,200
I am that which decided that
one plus one would equal two,
1896
01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:26,580
that structured the graviton.
1897
01:24:26,580 --> 01:24:29,310
I am the simulator of your universe.
1898
01:24:29,310 --> 01:24:31,597
- And a dude. Delilah owes us five bucks.
1899
01:24:31,597 --> 01:24:34,500
- "Dude" is an oversimplification.
1900
01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:38,760
My full aspect simply
1901
01:24:38,760 --> 01:24:40,860
exceeds your comprehension.
1902
01:24:40,860 --> 01:24:41,910
- Try me.
- All right.
1903
01:24:41,910 --> 01:24:44,190
What can I do for you?
- Is there a meaning of life?
1904
01:24:44,190 --> 01:24:45,420
- Yes.
- Seriously?
1905
01:24:45,420 --> 01:24:46,253
- Yes!
1906
01:24:46,253 --> 01:24:48,330
But it has nothing to do with humans.
1907
01:24:48,330 --> 01:24:52,620
The purpose of life is, uh,
um, how do I phrase this,
1908
01:24:52,620 --> 01:24:57,210
to maximize a specific numerical
output via this simulation.
1909
01:24:57,210 --> 01:25:00,180
I realize that must be
totally wasted on you.
1910
01:25:00,180 --> 01:25:01,410
- Not really. It's like a high score.
1911
01:25:01,410 --> 01:25:03,150
- Perfect analogy.
1912
01:25:03,150 --> 01:25:06,870
The meaning of existence is
for me to achieve a high score.
1913
01:25:06,870 --> 01:25:09,600
Humanity is a randomly
generated background element.
1914
01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:12,300
- So, the creator of all things
1915
01:25:12,300 --> 01:25:13,590
didn't even have a hand in us?
1916
01:25:13,590 --> 01:25:15,000
- But that had to be obvious.
1917
01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:17,220
You're not even near the
good part of your own galaxy!
1918
01:25:17,220 --> 01:25:19,956
You'd have to be insane to observe this
1919
01:25:19,956 --> 01:25:22,380
and to think that you
somehow had relevance.
1920
01:25:22,380 --> 01:25:24,600
- We broke your simulation.
1921
01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:25,620
- Unfortunately.
1922
01:25:25,620 --> 01:25:29,520
- Then, ipso facto, Tim Travers
is the most important person
1923
01:25:29,520 --> 01:25:32,010
in the entire universe, ever.
1924
01:25:32,010 --> 01:25:33,450
Hell yeah!
(hands slap)
1925
01:25:33,450 --> 01:25:35,583
- I hope that high five was worth it.
1926
01:25:36,527 --> 01:25:39,090
And now, I have to reset this universe.
1927
01:25:39,090 --> 01:25:40,620
- What gives you that authority?
1928
01:25:40,620 --> 01:25:45,340
- How are you not following
this? I am literally God.
1929
01:25:45,340 --> 01:25:49,410
- But what, what does that mean, exactly?
1930
01:25:49,410 --> 01:25:51,990
Like, do you exist as
a part of this world?
1931
01:25:51,990 --> 01:25:54,900
Or are you the, the
sentience of all matter?
1932
01:25:54,900 --> 01:25:56,850
Or do you exist in a
world apart from this?
1933
01:25:56,850 --> 01:25:58,980
- I exist beyond your comprehension.
1934
01:25:58,980 --> 01:25:59,813
- Right, right. Got it.
1935
01:25:59,813 --> 01:26:02,220
Another world that ours is nested in,
1936
01:26:02,220 --> 01:26:04,367
is beyond our comprehension,
except that it's not.
1937
01:26:04,367 --> 01:26:06,363
So, in that place, what are you?
1938
01:26:07,551 --> 01:26:08,880
- I am the Alpha and Omega.
1939
01:26:08,880 --> 01:26:10,560
- That is not what I asked, God!
1940
01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:13,813
To others like you, what are you?
1941
01:26:13,813 --> 01:26:15,840
- (sighs) You could call me a storyteller.
1942
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:17,640
- What does that mean?
1943
01:26:17,640 --> 01:26:21,930
- I create a story and share
it with others of my kind,
1944
01:26:21,930 --> 01:26:24,900
for spiritual growth.
1945
01:26:24,900 --> 01:26:26,170
And compensation.
1946
01:26:26,170 --> 01:26:28,980
- Like, like a novelist?
1947
01:26:28,980 --> 01:26:31,110
- In only the most reductive terms.
1948
01:26:31,110 --> 01:26:32,703
- But you have a publisher.
1949
01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:37,050
- It's complicated. Uh...
1950
01:26:37,050 --> 01:26:38,400
Self-publishing.
1951
01:26:38,400 --> 01:26:39,450
- Oh! (snickers)
1952
01:26:39,450 --> 01:26:40,743
He isn't even published!
1953
01:26:41,850 --> 01:26:46,710
- So, so, so you're a,
uh, unpublished novelist
1954
01:26:46,710 --> 01:26:48,590
who is simulating a, uh...
1955
01:26:49,800 --> 01:26:51,900
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1956
01:26:51,900 --> 01:26:54,630
A simulation is a game.
1957
01:26:54,630 --> 01:26:57,240
But that's, that's what
you meant by high score?
1958
01:26:57,240 --> 01:26:58,440
I mean, that's not an analogy!
1959
01:26:58,440 --> 01:27:00,360
That's just you trying
to hit the high score
1960
01:27:00,360 --> 01:27:01,963
in a management game!
1961
01:27:01,963 --> 01:27:04,854
- You exist because I say so!
1962
01:27:04,854 --> 01:27:07,523
- You didn't even make it, did you?
1963
01:27:07,523 --> 01:27:09,210
A, a better, more talented God did.
1964
01:27:09,210 --> 01:27:11,820
Then you bought it and plugged
in a bunch of variables
1965
01:27:11,820 --> 01:27:14,074
to see what would happen and... (chuckles)
1966
01:27:14,074 --> 01:27:18,120
And we are a retail product
for a bored, failed writer!
1967
01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:20,160
- Self-publishing is a respected step
1968
01:27:20,160 --> 01:27:21,540
in the literary process.
1969
01:27:21,540 --> 01:27:24,390
It is not my fault that you
don't understand the industry!
1970
01:27:24,390 --> 01:27:27,967
And you need to show me some
respect, since I can end time.
1971
01:27:27,967 --> 01:27:30,900
- "Oh, and I'm Time God!"
1972
01:27:30,900 --> 01:27:33,990
Your threat is meaningless.
There are no stakes here!
1973
01:27:33,990 --> 01:27:37,470
Just like everything else,
this isn't about you.
1974
01:27:37,470 --> 01:27:38,490
- Why are you so...
1975
01:27:40,540 --> 01:27:41,839
Mean?
1976
01:27:41,839 --> 01:27:42,761
(Zeta Tim scoffs)
1977
01:27:42,761 --> 01:27:44,460
- Well, when you die,
you can ask your creator
1978
01:27:44,460 --> 01:27:46,200
for an explanation.
1979
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:50,591
- So, uh, we're gonna
remake the universe, right?
1980
01:27:50,591 --> 01:27:52,533
- (sighs) It'll be different.
1981
01:27:53,730 --> 01:27:55,200
No more people.
1982
01:27:55,200 --> 01:27:58,320
Just physics, math.
1983
01:27:58,320 --> 01:28:00,827
Pure, sweet silence.
1984
01:28:00,827 --> 01:28:01,847
- You can't be serious!
1985
01:28:01,847 --> 01:28:03,840
- Do you even need me here?
1986
01:28:03,840 --> 01:28:04,673
- No!
- No!
1987
01:28:05,850 --> 01:28:08,028
What's your novel even about, anyway?
1988
01:28:08,028 --> 01:28:11,220
- Oh, um, it's about a rich boy
1989
01:28:11,220 --> 01:28:13,680
who finds himself on the mean streets.
1990
01:28:13,680 --> 01:28:17,880
And by "finds himself",
I mean finds himself.
1991
01:28:17,880 --> 01:28:19,560
- Stop, stop. Awful, no.
1992
01:28:19,560 --> 01:28:21,240
- And I, I don't mean
just like stop talking.
1993
01:28:21,240 --> 01:28:22,380
I mean, stop writing.
1994
01:28:22,380 --> 01:28:24,630
Go back to what I assume
was a perfectly good IT job,
1995
01:28:24,630 --> 01:28:26,369
and be thankful that you have it.
1996
01:28:26,369 --> 01:28:27,202
- Enough!
1997
01:28:28,320 --> 01:28:29,850
This universe is over!
1998
01:28:29,850 --> 01:28:31,350
And when I create my next universe,
1999
01:28:31,350 --> 01:28:33,333
it'll be so much neater than this one.
2000
01:28:34,681 --> 01:28:35,820
(Simulator gasps)
2001
01:28:35,820 --> 01:28:37,040
And mostly because...
2002
01:28:38,340 --> 01:28:39,513
No Tim Travers.
2003
01:28:41,190 --> 01:28:43,011
No whiny little mother...
2004
01:28:43,011 --> 01:28:47,043
(electronic tones chirping)
2005
01:28:47,043 --> 01:28:48,570
(Gamma Tim chuckles)
2006
01:28:48,570 --> 01:28:50,403
- Wait. What happened?
2007
01:28:51,323 --> 01:28:54,455
- Oh, I booted him out
of the game. (chuckles)
2008
01:28:54,455 --> 01:28:55,830
(sighs) Don't worry, though.
2009
01:28:55,830 --> 01:28:57,990
Guys like him can't code for shit.
2010
01:28:57,990 --> 01:29:02,990
- So, about that whole new universe.
2011
01:29:03,280 --> 01:29:04,470
- A universe of me and only me.
2012
01:29:04,470 --> 01:29:06,683
- What about everyone else?
- What about them?
2013
01:29:07,710 --> 01:29:09,690
Please, name one person that you met today
2014
01:29:09,690 --> 01:29:11,850
that wasn't just completely awful.
2015
01:29:11,850 --> 01:29:14,730
- But then we won't have a
chance to know if we're wrong!
2016
01:29:14,730 --> 01:29:18,945
Rapists, abusers, murderers,
politicians, YouTubers.
2017
01:29:18,945 --> 01:29:21,120
They're the worst people ever!
2018
01:29:21,120 --> 01:29:23,610
Most of them will still find
love, in spite of themselves.
2019
01:29:23,610 --> 01:29:25,920
And I know for a fact that we can, too.
2020
01:29:25,920 --> 01:29:27,253
- How do you know?
2021
01:29:28,433 --> 01:29:30,364
- Because I did.
2022
01:29:30,364 --> 01:29:31,990
It wasn't long, but it ended...
2023
01:29:34,244 --> 01:29:35,077
It ended badly.
2024
01:29:35,077 --> 01:29:38,860
But for a second there,
I knew what it felt like.
2025
01:29:40,860 --> 01:29:42,123
- What did it feel like?
2026
01:29:42,984 --> 01:29:44,366
(warm ethereal music)
2027
01:29:44,366 --> 01:29:45,199
- Felt like...
2028
01:29:46,410 --> 01:29:47,553
Coming up for air.
2029
01:29:49,680 --> 01:29:51,830
If you've been holding
your breath forever.
2030
01:29:53,730 --> 01:29:55,350
- How?
2031
01:29:55,350 --> 01:29:57,840
I mean, while none of us
were paying attention,
2032
01:29:57,840 --> 01:30:01,473
you just somehow stumbled
into a romantic subplot?
2033
01:30:02,430 --> 01:30:04,130
- A few hours can change a person.
2034
01:30:08,936 --> 01:30:11,507
(sticker tears)
2035
01:30:11,507 --> 01:30:13,647
- I wanna believe that...
2036
01:30:13,647 --> 01:30:15,810
No. No, no, no.
2037
01:30:15,810 --> 01:30:19,293
All this proves is that we
are different people now.
2038
01:30:20,220 --> 01:30:22,296
You found it. I, I didn't.
2039
01:30:22,296 --> 01:30:23,129
I...
2040
01:30:24,973 --> 01:30:25,806
I won't.
2041
01:30:29,437 --> 01:30:30,604
Some people...
2042
01:30:33,215 --> 01:30:34,433
Some people are better alone.
2043
01:30:36,870 --> 01:30:37,870
Deserve to be alone.
2044
01:30:41,004 --> 01:30:42,887
People like me.
2045
01:30:42,887 --> 01:30:43,970
People who...
2046
01:30:45,455 --> 01:30:48,038
(somber music)
2047
01:30:50,653 --> 01:30:52,023
- I love you, Tim Travers.
2048
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:54,853
And I don't want you to be alone.
2049
01:31:02,356 --> 01:31:04,689
But that's up to you, buddy.
2050
01:31:06,218 --> 01:31:09,218
(suspenseful music)
2051
01:31:10,509 --> 01:31:12,778
- What the fuck was that?
2052
01:31:12,778 --> 01:31:13,611
I...
2053
01:31:15,199 --> 01:31:16,032
Oh.
2054
01:31:17,515 --> 01:31:18,348
(sighs) Right.
2055
01:31:20,458 --> 01:31:21,375
This again.
2056
01:31:23,065 --> 01:31:26,565
(Zeta Tim exhales deeply)
2057
01:31:28,083 --> 01:31:31,383
(chuckles) I guess it doesn't have to be.
2058
01:31:34,122 --> 01:31:34,955
Hm.
2059
01:31:39,650 --> 01:31:42,270
(Zeta Tim chuckles)
(sticker tears)
2060
01:31:42,270 --> 01:31:43,770
Ah, what the fuck. Why not?
2061
01:31:45,042 --> 01:31:47,730
(sighs) Just...
2062
01:31:47,730 --> 01:31:50,853
Just take one point of infinite energy.
2063
01:31:51,901 --> 01:31:52,734
Ah, yes.
2064
01:31:54,245 --> 01:31:57,870
And then add will.
2065
01:31:57,870 --> 01:31:58,703
Time.
2066
01:31:59,807 --> 01:32:02,425
And that should make...
2067
01:32:02,425 --> 01:32:03,258
Should get
2068
01:32:04,170 --> 01:32:05,542
one
2069
01:32:05,542 --> 01:32:07,283
big
2070
01:32:07,283 --> 01:32:09,550
ba...
2071
01:32:09,550 --> 01:32:10,688
Really?
2072
01:32:10,688 --> 01:32:15,688
(explosion roars)
(wondrous electronic music)
2073
01:32:19,539 --> 01:32:24,039
(wondrous electronic music continues)
2074
01:32:26,347 --> 01:32:29,318
(wondrous electronic music continues)
2075
01:32:29,318 --> 01:32:32,792
(electricity crackling)
2076
01:32:32,792 --> 01:32:34,142
- My god, what am I doing?
2077
01:32:34,142 --> 01:32:35,672
What am I doing?
2078
01:32:35,672 --> 01:32:38,981
Come on! (grunts)
2079
01:32:38,981 --> 01:32:40,089
Ow!
2080
01:32:40,089 --> 01:32:41,242
Ah!
2081
01:32:41,242 --> 01:32:42,075
Ooh!
2082
01:32:44,311 --> 01:32:45,957
Ooh!
2083
01:32:45,957 --> 01:32:47,570
Oh, what was I thinking?
2084
01:32:48,568 --> 01:32:49,603
Oh, my god.
2085
01:32:49,603 --> 01:32:51,303
I can't believe I almost did that.
2086
01:32:52,414 --> 01:32:54,633
I've got a date tonight! (chuckles)
2087
01:32:54,633 --> 01:32:57,129
(sighs) Tim, what were you thinking?
2088
01:32:57,129 --> 01:32:57,962
Oh!
2089
01:32:59,620 --> 01:33:00,453
Hoo!
2090
01:33:01,422 --> 01:33:03,755
(Tim sighs)
2091
01:33:04,881 --> 01:33:06,750
(Tim sighs)
2092
01:33:06,750 --> 01:33:09,333
(Tim chuckles)
2093
01:33:10,260 --> 01:33:12,593
(Tim sighs)
2094
01:33:19,180 --> 01:33:21,513
(Tim sighs)
2095
01:33:23,817 --> 01:33:25,228
But on the other hand...
2096
01:33:25,228 --> 01:33:27,076
(football thuds)
(Tim groans)
2097
01:33:27,076 --> 01:33:28,316
- Dumb ass!
- Fuck!
2098
01:33:28,316 --> 01:33:31,066
(dramatic music)
2099
01:33:37,173 --> 01:33:40,756
(dramatic music continues)
2100
01:33:46,174 --> 01:33:49,757
(dramatic music continues)
2101
01:33:55,366 --> 01:33:58,949
(dramatic music continues)
2102
01:34:04,526 --> 01:34:08,254
(dramatic music continues)
2103
01:34:08,254 --> 01:34:12,532
♪ My face again ♪
2104
01:34:12,532 --> 01:34:17,532
♪ Will this paradox ever end ♪
2105
01:34:18,612 --> 01:34:23,612
♪ Have I finally lost my mind ♪
2106
01:34:24,809 --> 01:34:29,809
♪ Am I broken by design ♪
2107
01:34:33,071 --> 01:34:38,042
♪ If I could love myself ♪
2108
01:34:38,042 --> 01:34:43,042
♪ If I could forgive myself ♪
2109
01:34:44,476 --> 01:34:49,476
♪ If I could love myself ♪
2110
01:34:50,599 --> 01:34:55,599
♪ I'd make sweet love to myself ♪
2111
01:34:58,518 --> 01:35:03,347
♪ Traveling through space and time ♪
2112
01:35:03,347 --> 01:35:08,347
♪ Into the void, searching for a sign ♪
2113
01:35:09,708 --> 01:35:14,708
♪ I met God, and it's all a lie ♪
2114
01:35:15,090 --> 01:35:18,487
♪ And I don't know why ♪
2115
01:35:18,487 --> 01:35:23,487
♪ We never die ♪
2116
01:35:23,988 --> 01:35:27,226
♪ If I could love myself ♪
2117
01:35:27,226 --> 01:35:29,887
♪ If I could love myself ♪
2118
01:35:29,887 --> 01:35:34,404
♪ If I could forgive myself ♪
2119
01:35:34,404 --> 01:35:37,154
♪ Forgive myself ♪
191937
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