Original subtitles

It's hard to imagine we could get any closer than we are right now.

But we can, you know.

Closer than this?

Oh, yes.

You're in my heart, Jason.

I could feel your warmth deep inside.

[sighing]

-[Jason] You know what I want for Christmas? -What?

My 8-by-10 man?

[Jason] This moment to last forever.

[music playing]

Oh, now that's a shame.

Joe, you know I don't like guns in the house.

Oh, this better not be loaded, or I'll...

[gunshot]

Doctor... What brings you here?

I heard a gunshot. Are you all right?

I'm fine.

What are you looking at?

[Control Voice] There is nothing wrong with your television.

Do not attempt to adjust the picture.

We are now controlling the transmission.

We control the horizontal and the vertical.

We can deluge you with a thousand channels

or expand one single image to crystal clarity

and beyond.

We can shape your vision

to anything our imagination can conceive.

For the next hour,

we will control all that you see and hear.

You are about to experience the awe and mystery

which reaches from the deepest inner mind

to The Outer Limits.

[Control Voice] Even in the most innocent of minds,

there are still secrets best left unrevealed.

[blowing]

Damn, it's damn cold out there tonight.

Hey, what the hell you doing starting without me?

You said you'd be home by 5:00.

It is 5:00.

It's five after 5:00.

What did you do to your head?

Hey, Becka.

-Becka, you deaf? -No.

I asked you, what did you do to your head?

I just bumped it.

Bumped it?

Yeah, bumped it... Just bumped it. It's a bump.

Oh... Ah!

Oh!

That slacky-ass Kenny deliver the mail for a change?

If you mean your special swimsuit edition, yeah, it showed up.

But gawk at it after supper. I put it by your chair.

Ah.

-It's cold. -Well, you're late.

Just a bump.

You didn't say anything about the tree, Joe.

Put it up too early.

Well, they had the tree up today on my afternoon story.

TV people know about those things.

Come Christmas there'll be more needles on the floor than on the tree. You watch.

Stupider than a post.

What are you looking at?

Looking at? What do you think I'm looking at?

Maybe I'm thinking of buying you

a new bathing suit for Christmas. Maybe that's what I'm looking at.

Maybe a bikini, huh?

Hey,

maybe I'll get you a birthday suit for Christmas.

Maybe you'll get that.

Get it? That's nothing.

[chuckles]

[chuckling]

[creaking]

[groaning]

Ah.

[whimpering]

Oh.

[chuckles]

[man] Becka.

Becka... Hey, Becka.

Hey, Becka.

[microwave beeps]

Your bump's bleeding.

Huh? Oh, thanks.

You ought to be careful about bumping your head. That's where your brains are.

Well, it's just a...

Why don't you go see Doc Fink?

Doc Fink's a veterinarian.

He's still a doctor, and he's $9.00 a visit.

I don't see nobody but me earning money around here, do you?

See him, don't see him. All's I'm saying

is that your head is where your brain is.

I know that.

Well,

neither rain nor sleet nor snow.

I'm off to the PO.

[gasps]

Forgot your lunch!

Ah.

You wouldn't want to miss out.

What's that supposed to mean?

Bologna sandwiches. I know you like them.

Bye.

Bye-bye!

[soap opera music playing]

[man] Becka.

Becka.

Who's there?

[man] It's me. On the TV.

There's something important I want to tell you.

You know your husband Joe is

putting the boots to that hussy down at the post office?

Just thought you should know.

[screaming]

Lord... Oh, God.

Oh, Lord... Oh, God.

Oh, Lord.

[screaming]

Just call an ambulance.

Call yourself an ambulance.

-[man] Becka. -You be quiet!

Becka, it's not blood. It's raspberry filling.

You're gonna give yourself a heart attack.

It's raspberry filling, Becka.

Look, it's from the coffee cake. It's all over the rug.

Look, look.

Who are you?

I'm the 8-by-10 guy.

Well, go away.

I'd love to. I've been stuck on this damn TV for so long.

Don't talk.

Pictures don't talk.

[man] Becka, I'm not a picture.

I'm just the guy that came with the frame--

♪ Oh, beautiful For spacious skies ♪

[man] Becka, please, don't do this.

♪ America, America ♪

Becka, I'm just trying to tell you about

your husband and Nancy Voss.

♪ For motherhood And brotherhood ♪

♪ From sea to sh-- ♪

[phone ringing]

-Hello? -Rebecca, it's your daddy.

Daddy?

Pictures don't talk, Becka.

If you think that picture talked,

then you must be crazy!

Daddy, you can't be...

You're hearing voices in your head, ain't ya?

No, Daddy, not in my head.

No, it talked right to me.

-Becka! -No, it talked right to me.

It's happening outside of me.

I can't do ventriloquism.

Rebecca Bouchard, I'll beat you three shades of blister blue

for that crazy talk.

Daddy, I swear.

One shade for thinking the thing.

It talked. It talked right to me.

-One shade for lying. -No, it's just a bump.

One shade for believing the lie.

Look for yourself.

See, it's a picture.

You're crazy, Becka.

Well, you're dead,

You're dead, buried in the ground, so shut up!

-[slams down receiver] -Shut up!

Oh, Becka Paulson as I live and breathe.

How long's it been?

Oh, I guess since my cat Ozzy died.

Oh, yeah. How is Ozzy?

Dead.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

What can I do for you today?

Well, I bumped my head.

[Fink] Oh, yeah? When was that?

Day before yesterday.

And, uh, how did that happen?

Rooting through the closet for Christmas decorations.

Oh, yeah.

Getting in the spirit for Christmas, huh?

Anyways, Joe said I should come see you

'cause your head's where your brains are.

Yeah, well, he's right about that. That's for certain.

Well, let's see. Are you having any of the--

Schizophrenic episodes?

I looked it up.

Oh, well, all right.

Are you having any of those?

I've been hearing voices.

Oh, yeah.

That's sort of consistent with a first break psychotic episode, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Well, it depends.

Whose voice was it? Was it Joe?

My daddy.

Oh.

Your daddy passed away, didn't he?

Yeah. That didn't stop him

from giving me hell over the phone just the same.

You know, Becka, I hate to say it,

but there are kids in this county

who think that kind of thing is comical.

Oh, no, it was him.

I remember his voice like it was yesterday, which it was.

Huh. And what did he say?

That I shouldn't be hearing voices.

That's kind of ironic, don't you think?

I mean, him being the voice.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Well, let's take a look at that bump.

Just hold still.

Thatta girl.

Thatta girl.

Ah!

Oh, yeah.

That looks, uh...

Looks more like an indentation than a bump per se.

Now what kind of Christmas decoration did you say it was?

Big and shiny and heavy.

That's about all that comes to mind.

Ah, and you didn't faint, or vomit, or anything?

No, sir.

Well, it's healing up pretty good.

Well, that's good.

Yeah, now listen, uh, Becka,

I can put a fresh band-aid on,

but, uh, I can't really give you anything for the voices.

You know, being a veterinarian,

I can't properly prescribe psychiatric medication.

Okay.

Well, as long as you say it's healing,

then I can tell Joe I'm on the mend.

Yeah.

Well, now if your dead daddy should call you up again,

I want you to hustle into town and see Doc Simmons.

He can fix you up with some Prozac or--

-Doc Simmons passed away, didn't you know? -No. When?

Well, about a month ago.

-He was cremated. -Oh, what a shame.

He was just about ready to retire, too.

That's a shame.

Uh...

That'll be $9.00, please.

Sorry.

[car engine running]

[turns off engine]

Oh, hey, Flo.

Hey to you too, Becka.

Little last-minute Christmas shopping?

Last minute?

Oh, sweetheart, for me, two weeks before the 25th is last minute.

I'm done every year by August the 10th.

It's my birthday. Oh, you probably don't remember.

My husband hasn't since '89.

Anyway, I'm just picking up some stocking stuffers.

Same here. Stocking stuffers for Joe.

Your boy's not coming home this year?

Well, we're at odds, and this year's an even.

So Byron's with the in-laws

instead of with the woman who brought him into the world.

There's no justice. I wouldn't put up with it.

What did you do to your head?

Oh, I bumped it.

Not trying to cover a bullet hole or anything, are you?

Didn't shoot yourself in the brain, did you?

Oh, your face just can't hide a secret.

No.

Well, that's a relief.

Anyway... Stocking stuffers.

Men do like their tools, don't they?

Joe will love it.

Go on, get it.

I got one of them nine-in-ones for Kyle.

He uses it day in, day out.

She's right, you know.

Men do love their tools.

Go away!

How can you say that?

I'm the perfect gift.

Heck, I'm more than that.

I'm on sale.

Rebecca,

-you want me. -Oh, that's a lie.

How can you not want to buy one of me for every room in the house?

You wanted to put Byron's senior grad picture over me,

but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it, could you?

There was just something about my face.

Not going to take no for an answer, Becka.

I want you to take me home.

Now!

The cash register's totally broken

and the manager's not here.

Well, that's all right, dear.

Get out your paper and pencil.

We've got all the time in the world, haven't we, Becka?

Such a shame about Joe putting the boots to that hussy

he works with at the post office nearly every day of the week.

I mean, Becka, honey, you must feel so unloved.

Stealing into the photocopy room,

locking the door, unwrapping each other like Halloween candy,

rubbing places women like us

don't even know the proper names for.

Sixty-six copies.

That's what it's set for. That's all they have time for.

Mouths more urgent than first-class mail.

$36.15.

Plus tax, that's $38.68.

-You're sure? -Oh, yeah.

Why, Becka Paulson, I had no idea you were so mathematic.

Spare the dear. How much is mine?

Oh.

Um, $25.23 all in.

[laughs] Well, isn't that something?

You were putting words in her mouth.

[8-by-10 man] It's the God's honest truth.

You just be quiet till we get home.

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

[turns off vacuum cleaner]

Time for my afternoon story.

I don't want you talking during the story.

[man on TV] Suction.

Clamp.

The bullet's lodged in her limbic system.

Whoa!

Would you look at that?

It entered just above her eye,

slowed down significantly by the skull,

and ended up in here.

Deep within the hippocampus,

center of vivid emotions, sexuality, memory.

[man 2] Shouldn't she be dead?

Absolutely.

But it's just possible the bullet could improve her brain function

by eliminating a tumor that was already there.

[man 2] Oh, yeah.

[man 1] More than that,

she could experience increased intelligence,

sexual drive, creativity, or it could...

kill her.

Shame...

Just before Christmas.

Yeah.

Oh, I never saw that one coming.

[clicking tongue] She was supposed to get married after the New Year.

Well, I think I'll get a snack.

-You want something? -That's okay. I'm fine.

[Becka] Hi, hon.

Lot of mail going through that office.

[Becka] That's Christmas for you.

[Joe] What the hell's this?

This afternoon when I was wrapping presents,

it just struck me that the sum of the squares

of the lengths of the sides of a right angle triangle

is equal to the square of the length of the hypotenuse.

[grunts]

That's the Pythagorean theorem, ain't it?

I don't know. How'd you know?

High school geometry.

It came to me when you said "hypotenuse."

Oh.

Well, I don't know what good it does. I just... It's there.

Thought I'd discovered something.

Honey, you couldn't count as high

as the candles on your cake.

[woman moaning]

[8-by-10 man] Ah, he should be thinking of you that way.

[Becka] The hussy?

Is her body like those girls in that magazine?

[8-by-10 man] Nancy Voss?

You mean, the woman that Joe's putting the boots to down at the post office?

[Becka] I prefer hussy.

[8-by-10 man] Fine, but that hussy's 50-years-old.

Trim, well-kept, handsome 50, don't get me wrong.

[Becka] You want to put the shoes to her, too?

[8-By-10 man laughs] Becka, please, I'm an 8-by-10.

[Becka] Why does he do it with her?

[8-by-10 man] Because you don't.

[Becka] I let him.

[8-by-10 man] Aw, you let him. That's... That's romantic.

[Becka] Almost every time.

[8-by-10 man] And when you let him,

nothing ever happens for you? Not even a little?

You don't relish the animalism,

the sexual congress with its gruntings,

its thrustings?

[Becka] Stop talking like that.

[8-by-10 man] The hussy does.

Nancy Voss does.

She can't get enough.

She wants it, craves it.

Looks forward to it every lunch hour.

-[Becka] I said stop it. -Why?

You getting turned on?

Something stirring?

Look at Joe.

Right now he's imagining

the woman in that magazine is Nancy Voss.

[Becka] He's my husband.

[8-by-10 man] Then you have to take him, Becka.

Take what's yours.

Say it out loud.

[Becka] Joe... [8-By-10 man] Say it, Becka.

[Becka] I can't.

[8-by-10 man] Say it!

Make love to me!

Oh, Joe, yeah.

Yeah, Joe.

Get back where you were.

Up, up.

Up, Joe. Get up.

There, there, there, there!

What in God's name got into you?

What?

I don't know what's wrong, Becka,

But I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

[8-by-10 man] Did you get everything?

Got extra batteries.

Find everything at Derry Hardware?

Uh-huh.

Hank Barber sell you this?

He was there, yeah, but I didn't need assistance.

Tell you a funny story about Hank Barber.

About 10 years ago when Hank really was a young buck,

Hank hated his boss so much

that he poured half a package laxative

into the poor man's chocolate at lunch hour.

Yeah? What happened?

What do you think happened?

Right there in front of a customer,

while Hank's boss was demonstrating

how to install a new wire cutter for the weed whipper...

[chuckling]

[whirring]

What did he do to Hank?

[8-by-10 man] Nothing.

Hank managed to hold on till punch-out time, but the second he got to his car--

I meant what did he do to Hank

that made Hank do that?

Oh, he was just mean.

Junkyard dog mean.

The way Joe can be mean sometimes.

-You understand that, don't you? -Uh-huh.

Oh, that's great.

Getting a lot of ideas lately, Becka.

You're almost ready.

[Becka] Those "D" cells are eating up too much juice.

Maybe I should get a motorcycle battery.

[8-By-10 man] Thatta girl.

[Joe] Okay, Seven Card Stud.

Nothing wild.

Jacks are better when they're open.

Ante up.

Did you hear Bobby Coyote got liquored up

mid-shift in his split shift day

and ended up making time and a half.

All the time he's driving the porcelain bus in the restroom.

He can get away with that. He's union.

If I tried that down at the hardware store,

my butt's out the door before you can say...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A deuce, queen,

-a nine. -Deuces are wild, right?

No. 10 for the dealer.

Bitch's bet.

[8-by-10 man] This happens every Thursday night?

[Becka] Unless it falls on Christmas Day

like this year, then they reschedule.

[8-by-10 man] I wonder if he'll be rescheduling his nooner with Nancy Voss?

The hussy?

Bless ya.

[8-by-10 man] You know, Joe doesn't win nearly as much as...

No, no, sorry. Go ahead.

As I was saying...

[Becka] He thinks he's God's gift to the game, I know.

Ooh, things are looking up for the dealer.

[8-by-10 man] He doesn't have a straight flush.

[Becka] Are you reading his mind?

No, anybody would know that.

Hey, Becka, beer me.

-Peanuts. -And some peanuts.

All right.

[Joe] You sure you got it all now?

You don't have to write it down or nothing.

All right.

Pair of deuces bets.

Couple deuces don't beat a straight flush, though.

Wanna hear something funny?

Rebecca's not a real bright girl, so she puts her Christmas tree up

when they do it on her soap opera.

A buck.

We know you don't have the flush, Joe.

Just throwing good money after bad.

We'll see... We'll see.

I'll see your dollar and I'll raise you five.

Let's see if you put your money where your mouth's supposed to be.

-All right, I'll call. -Call.

You can't just call like that.

Yeah. I bet, you raised, he called. What you got?

What do you got?

Well, I don't know,

but I bet, you raised, he called. What you got?

You knew we knew you didn't have the flush.

For crying out loud, I got three deuces showing.

Would you wipe that stupid smile off your face?

When are you going to put some damn pictures in these damn frames?

-It's embarrassing. -Got your peanuts.

-Guy always staring at me gives me the creeps! -Want 'em?

See how it feels to be treated like dirt under your feet? You see how it feels?

I'm not the same woman I used to be, Joe.

This is what you get!

This is what you get for treating me like the dirt under your feet.

I'm not the woman I used to be,

so you better get used to it!

Oops.

I'll get a broom.

I made sunny side up this morning.

Don't forget your...

lunch.

[wind howling]

[car engine starts]

[car driving up]

Hi. How was work?

-Busy. -Same here. Busy busy.

Where's supper?

Ain't it Friday?

Pizza night.

[Becka] Got to do something.

Lord, I got to do something.

[8-by-10 man] You are doing something.

Shouldn't do that.

Where is Joe anyway?

Likes to sleep most Saturday afternoons.

Yeah, of course. No, no, no.

Put the black clip onto the red one there.

-Like that? -Like that.

That's my girl.

Couldn't you sleep last night?

[Becka] No.

Too many nightmares. Decided to stay up all night.

Mm, good idea.

Think I'm done.

You're getting so clever, Becka,

I hardly know what to do with you.

Don't tell me.

Becka.

Becka, warm up the TV for me, okay?

Okey-dokey.

Finished wrapping the presents,

decorating, baking and cleaning.

Finished everything. We're ready.

We're ready.

I thought you were going to warm up the TV?

Couldn't find the clicker.

Ah, those damn things.

[screaming]

[distorted music plays on radio]

[laughter]

Don't listen to him. There's a bullet in your head.

[gasping]

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! What have I done?

What have I done? I've shot myself in...

Oh, Joe! Joe, help me!

♪ What do I care If icicles form? ♪

♪ I've got my love To keep me warm ♪

♪ I thought you ought to know My heart's on fire ♪

♪ The flames They just leap higher ♪

♪ So I will weather The storm ♪

♪ What do I care How much it storms? ♪

[Control Voice] Perhaps the descent into madness

is not a solitary journey after all.

♪ I've got my love To keep me warm ♪