All language subtitles for S01E14 - The Tender Poisoner

Good evening and welcome to the
friendlier pharmacy.

I've recently found a very lucrative use
for my empties.

I use them to make a sugar... ground
glass.

Excellent for men and women who prefer a
spouse -free diet.

Also very effective for getting rid of
unwanted airs.

Best of all, a doctor's prescription is
not required, at least not before it is

swallowed. Tonight's story is entitled
The Tender Poisoner. As you see, I have

not been misleading you, and consistent
with this policy of frankness, I must

warn you that this next minute may be
hard to swallow, but be brave.

next and last party.

I thought you had something desperately
important to tell me. I have.

Well, I'm still listening.

I've got to leave Beatrice.

Oh?

Trouble? No.

It's just that I don't love her anymore.
That's all.

Funny.

When we got married 15 years ago, I
loved her. I needed her.

Now it's Beatrice that needs me.

You know, Barney, there are some people
who would say you're pretty lucky to

have Beatrice. I know. That's what I'm
saying.

But you know, when we got married,
Beatrice never really loved me.

I learned that soon enough.

Oh, she was fond of you.

So now you're going to leave her just
like that?

All right. Who's the girl?

Don't tell me there isn't a girl.
There's got to be a girl.

It's not like that at all.

Of course it isn't.

How old is she?

Twenty -eight, I think.

And if my memory serves me correctly,
Beatrice is 38.

That has nothing to do with it. If their
ages were reversed, I'd feel exactly

the same way.

Only different.

You're not getting the point.

I love this girl in a way I never loved
Beatrice.

She's something entirely different.

That's why I brought you here, so you
could see for yourself.

You mean she's coming here today?

Just for a drink.

Look, Barty, what kind of a girl is this
anyway?

What does she do for a living?

None of the wicked things that you're
thinking.

She has a little shop where she designs
clothes.

Look, Peter, you're just about the
oldest friend I have.

The only one in some ways.

That's why I wanted to tell you about
this.

I want you to understand how I feel.

This isn't just an infatuation. It's
like something... It's like something

waited for one's whole life, and then
suddenly...

It's spring.

Hello, Philip.

Oh, hello.

Well,

aren't you going to introduce us? Oh,
sorry.

Lorna. Peter Harding. Lorna Dixon. How
do you do, sir? Lorna.

Marty tells me you run a fashion house.

Fashion house?

That's a bit far -fetched. It's really
just a little dress shop.

You design your own models?

Some of them.

And that's one of yours you're wearing?

Why, yes, it is.

How did you know?

Well, I don't know. I suppose it's just
so right on you that you know that

whoever designed it must have known the
person who was going to wear it.

Well, aren't we going to offer the young
lady a drink?

Oh, of course. I'm sorry.

Waiter.

Scotch and soda, please. One scotch and
soda. Will you have a pot of cognac?

Fine. And one cognac.

Aren't you going to join us?

Oh, I'd love to, but I do have a call to
make.

If you'll excuse me.

Shouldn't take too long.

Well, how do you like him?

He seems very nice.

I knew you two would get along.

He's just about the best friend I have.

Yes, Phyllis.

But a few I came to see, you know.

Personnel department, please, Mr. Jones.

Hello, Ken.

How's the party?

Listen, about the executive training
course in San Francisco.

You know, I've been thinking, maybe
you're right about Bartell.

Yeah.

I think he deserves a chance.

And if it doesn't work out...

We haven't lost anything.

Yeah, would you?

Fine. Oh, by the way, don't let him know
that it's my recommendation.

I don't want him to think I'm doing him
any favors.

Right?

Have you had a hard day? Fine.

Hello, John.

Hello, Philip.

I just dropped by to borrow some of your
scotch.

Oh, I get it.

Well, I have to get back to my
bachelor's cave. I've got guests coming.

Would you believe it? I came over here
to borrow a bottle of scotch and ended

involved in a discussion of marriage, no
less.

Marriage? Who's marriage?

Oh, just the institution in general, old
fella.

Just the institution in general.

Here it is.

I'll let you have this one back
Saturday, all right? Sure. Thanks.

Goodbye now

Darling

you are jumpy you have had a hard day.

I'll make you drink

Did you

hear what John was telling me no Well,
what was he telling you

Nothing much.

Just about one of those divorce cases he
was handling.

Very nasty.

It doesn't have to be nasty, does it? I
mean, sometimes it's better for people

to separate.

Keeps them from doing worse things.

How do you mean?

Well, sometimes people get desperate.

I guess to that point, it's better that
they part.

You may be right.

I have to set the table. I don't think
you understand what I mean.

Yes, I do, darling.

And you may be right.

Aren't you coming to bed?

Yes, later.

By the way, I met Mrs.

Wilcox down at the market this
afternoon.

And, uh, she wanted to know whether or
not we...

Darling, you're not listening to a word
I'm saying.

I'm sorry. I was thinking.

Listen, dear.

I've been watching you for the past two
or three weeks, and I know there's

something worrying you.

Now, I don't like seeing you that
unhappy.

Don't you want to tell me about it?

It's nothing, really.

I've been having kind of a hard time
down at the office.

Oh, well, if that's all it is.

As I was saying, I met Mrs.

Wilcox, and she wanted to know whether
or not we'd be using her beach house for

our vacation.

I said I'd have to ask you. What do you
think?

I don't think we'll want it this year.

Oh?

Think you might go somewhere else?

Something?

Something like that.

Yes.

Just a minute.

I'll be right with you.

Hello, Barty.

Hello, Peter.

I'm sorry to bother you at home like
this.

I thought the company was sending you to
San Francisco.

They are. I'm on my way to the airport
now, but I wanted to see you.

Come on in.

I'm just developing some prints.

Well, you were right, of course.

Hmm? I couldn't tell Beatrice. I just
couldn't.

Oh, well, I'm sure you'll work something
out.

Yeah, in the meantime, Lorna has to
wait.

And now I have to go in a silly training
course.

Get me out of it, Peter.

No, I can't do that.

Why not?

Because I'm your friend.

And it's just possible that I might know
what's best for you.

Anyway, I should think you'd be pleased.

Looks like the company's finally
beginning to appreciate you.

Well, maybe later, but I don't want to
go away right now with everything up in

the air.

Laurie gets so lonesome.

She hasn't been out here very long. She
doesn't have any friends.

As a matter of fact, I was going to ask
if you'd call her while I was away.

She'd be pleased.

Who, me?

Yes, she likes you.

You could cheer her up.

What is it?

Ultrapine. It's a poison.

I use it in my developer.

Gives me a nice sharp print.

Could it kill you?

Very efficiently, too.

Has the same effect as a heart attack.

In fact, I'm told you can't even tell
the difference.

You mean a doctor couldn't?

Naturally, I mean a doctor.

I'd better be going.

Now, when are you due back from San
Francisco?

Saturday.

Fine. Well, maybe I'll drop by your
house and see how you got along.

Fine.

May I help you, sir?

Yes, I'd like some altropine, please.

Altropine. I use it for photographic
purposes.

Oh, yeah. Right here.

Large or small?

Oh, a small will do.

You'll have to sign for it.

Sign for it? It's a poison.

Oh, yes.

How much is it?

$1 .35, sir.

Hold it.

You're on the wrong line.

Oh, yes.

Mr. Dixon, 216 Harrow Avenue, San
Francisco. Thank you. Thank you.

It's a common enough story, I suppose.

I was 18.

We'd been married for two months.

Then, career.

He was one of the first to be shipped
out.

I never saw him again.

Funny thing was, I kept on getting his
letters weeks after I got the cable from

the War Department.

And since then?

Since then?

I guess I just haven't been interested.

you don't know.

I thought you were supposed to be in
love with Barney.

I haven't said I'm not.

Well, are you?

Why do you ask?

Because he's my friend and I didn't want
to see him hurt.

Do you?

Do you love him?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

Deeply? I can adjust.

No. Protectively.

The way you love a child.

He's so... Weak?

No, not weak.

But helpless.

I feel I can give him strength.

I hope so.

Because he's certainly going to need it.

Need it?

If he's going to leave his wife.

See, I've known them both an awfully
long time.

We're just going to take this hard, very
hard.

I know I wouldn't care to do what the
body's going to do.

It's Harding. He's coming in. He saw us.
Oh, no.

Your

paper,

madam. Thank you.

I didn't know you were coming.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought maybe Barty had
gotten back from San Francisco.

Well, no.

Won't you come in?

Thanks.

You know John? Sure, how are you?

Just fine, thanks.

Would you like a drink?

Thank you.

Scotch?

Fine.

Here you are. How's that?

Well, now you know, don't you?

About me and Beatrice, I mean.

I guess so, but whatever you choose to
do out of hours, so to speak, is

certainly none of my business.

Well, now, let's get this straight right
from the start.

This isn't just a flirtation or after
hours, as you put it.

We're in love.

I see.

Divorce? Well, if that's the way it's
got to be, yes.

I don't know.

You don't seem to agree.

Oh, yes, we do.

I've agreed to do whatever Beatrice
thinks best.

You've known Barty longer than we have.
What do you think?

You know, the very fact that we're
having this conversation is something

which I blame myself.

At least to some extent.

Barty doesn't know it, but I'm the one
who's responsible for sending him to San

Francisco.

You know as well as I do that nobody
else in the company would ever think of

sending old Barty on a course for senior
executives.

I just thought it would help to give him
a little confidence.

You know, Barty hasn't had too many of
the good things in life.

But there's one thing in which he
considers himself lucky, and that's

I know because he's told me so. I
suppose his marriage is the one thread

hangs on to, the one thing that keeps
him from going under.

I can't tell you what you ought to do,
Beatrice.

Everybody has to make his own decision,
and it certainly is your affair,

whatever you do.

But if you divorce Barty,

It'll be the end of him.

He'll go under.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

No, he's right, John.

I've known him all along.

I just didn't want to admit it.

You mean to tell me that just because
Philip's a failure at his job and

everything else he turns his hand to,
that Beatrice has got to be tied to him

for the rest of her life?

I'm afraid that's the way the cars were
dealt.

Hello, darling.

I missed you. I missed you, too.

Hello, Philip.

Leaving, John?

I'm afraid I have to, but I'll be back
later.

Welcome home, Mr. Senior Executive.

I thought you might need some help.

I'm already finished.

You've forgotten Brutus.

Why don't you set the table? I'll bring
that in.

All right, fine.

I feel awful, Peter.

About Barney?

I don't know how to make it up to him.

There's only one way to do that.

I don't know how much you need him, how
much you depend on him.

Yes, I know.

And I'll try. I really will.

Where are you going to sit there?

Just here where I always do.

Peter?

You didn't leave very much for yourself.

Oh, I'm not very hungry. I gave some of
mine to Brutus.

Come on, Brutus.

You know, I had the most awful headache
tonight.

I think I'd better take some of my
pills.

Do you think you should take so many of
those things?

I'm sure they're bad for your heart.

Don't worry.

I'll live.

Did you say heart?

Oh, it's nothing serious.

I sometimes get a little palpitation
from these.

I eat these all day.

Then it might I have to take indigestion
powders to counteract them.

Well, I guess they won't kill you.

What on earth's the matter with Brutus?

I think he's dead.

It must have been his heart.

But he was all right just a few minutes
ago.

Don't feel badly.

I don't think he even knew what hit him.

You know, he was getting old, you know.
It had to happen someday.

But he's been with us ever since we were
married.

I know. That's 15 years. That's a long
time.

Especially for a dog.

Poor old thing.

Was he in any pain?

No. You saw yourself. There wasn't any
suffering at all.

Remember what I told you?

It's not when you die that matters.

It's how you die.

That's the important thing.

We

still

have a long way to go. Join me again
after the following local interrupt.

I know I should label everything, but
those station breaks defy description.

Now for the next minute. It is not
toxic, but it is highly soporific. So be

careful. If you are a heavy sleeper, you
could miss the entire second half of

our play.

Would you like to come in for a few
minutes?

Why not?

Careful, then.

Thank you.

It was a wonderful evening.

know what we're supposed to have been
celebrating.

Well, that's fine.

If we don't know what it was, then we
can celebrate it again tomorrow.

I promise to have dinner with Philip
tomorrow.

All right.

Day after then.

You wouldn't by any chance be trying to
sweep me off my feet, would you?

Why not?

Because... I don't know.

It's been such fun seeing you, being
with you these past few days.

I begin to feel guilty.

Guilty? Why?

You know why.

Because Barney might be hurt?

Yes, I suppose that's what I mean.

Well, I don't think that Barney has any
right to feel hurt.

Why not?

Because of Beatrice?

Yes. Besides, he can't expect you to
just sit at home like an old widow until

happens to have time to come and see
you.

That'd be just a little bit too saintly,
wouldn't it?

I suppose so.

You know...

That's the one trouble with Barty ever
since I've known him.

He's always looking for perfection in
everybody he gets involved with. And

when he doesn't find it, he's
disappointed and drops them.

Are you telling me I'm not the first?

I mean, apart from Beatrice.

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe not.

It's not really any of my business, is
it?

Anyway, uh...

If Barty ever starts to back out, you'll
know that it wasn't because of you or

anything you've done.

Probably be because of another one of
his worries, you know, like Beatrice's

health or something.

Her health?

Yes, I don't think her heart's as strong
as it should be.

Oh, nothing serious.

I see.

He never told me.

Didn't he?

I guess he just didn't think it was
necessary.

I'd rather you didn't tell him what I
told you.

I don't want old Barney to think that
I'm telling tales out of school.

I could step in my watch for the times
in which you take that stuff.

At least it keeps me bright and
cheerful.

Oh, incidentally, I won't be home
tomorrow evening.

Some stupid meeting I have to go to.

What a shame.

At least with all these meetings and
executive courses and things, it looks

though you're really going to carve out
a career for yourself.

After all.

Yeah.

What time is it?

Quarter of eight.

What's this?

Well, how sweet.

I don't know how long it's been since
you brought me breakfast from bed.

What's the occasion?

I couldn't sleep. My stomach was upset.
So if you don't mind, I'll borrow some

of your powder.

What are your plans today?

Well, if you're going to be out, not
very much. I'll probably do some

This evening I'll come back and sit and
look at TV.

Be in bed by 11.

Will you be late?

Well, it'll be past 11.

Anyway, don't wait up for me.

Bye, Beatrice.

My, we are being sweet today.

Thank you.

From the Johnson.

An invitation to that daughter's
wedding.

Oh, how nice. Shall I answer it? When is
it?

End of the month.

Oh, plenty of time then.

Yes.

Well, what's the matter with you? You
haven't said a word all evening.

Haven't I?

Well, nobody'd think you were in the
depths of depression.

Perhaps I have good cause to be.

Well, what's the matter?

Come on, tell me. What's wrong?

Nothing, fella.

Nothing at all.

It could have been wonderful.

I know that.

But I can't go through with it.

What do you mean, could have been?

What's happened?

Nothing's happened.

That's the point.

We've got to put an end to it before
something does happen. What are you

thinking? What are you talking about?

Look, darling, it's no good pretending
to ourselves.

If the shock of your leaving her should
do something to Beatrice, I mean to her

heart, you could never forgive yourself.

She'd always come between us. Her heart?
Why her heart? Where there's nothing...

Don't make it worse, Philip.

Don't try to lie to me. We can't break
up now. It's too late.

Don't fight me, Philip. Please don't
fight me. Can't you see how difficult

is for me? Well, then don't do it.

Think about it again.

Sleep on it. We'll talk about it
tomorrow.

No, I've made up my mind. It won't be
any easier for me tomorrow.

I won't feel any different.

If Beatrice were to die because of her
heart, we'd always feel guilty.

We'd never be able to look each other
straight in the eye.

everything I've done for you was wasted.

But it doesn't have to be.

No, it doesn't have to be.

Don't go for a moment.

I just thought about it.

Now what?

You realize you need never go back in
that house again?

No, no, really.

We could take off and deal with nothing
more than the clothes on our back.

And by morning, we'll be halfway across
Nevada.

And the next thing in a week, we'll be
on the East Coast.

And the next thing in a month, you don't
regret having me or anybody else but

me. It wasn't the Irish who was
impossible to have. I couldn't keep

Oh, the trouble with you is you have no
force in your soul.

What? That involves getting out of this
car, going straight into that house.

Straight into bed.

Well, don't go home crying.

No, you can't, John.

Enough.

Mrs. Bartell?

Yes.

Would you come in?

Mrs. Bartell, we've just come from your
husband. He was involved in an

automobile accident. He's on his way to
the hospital now.

No. Well, what happened to him?

Will he be all right?

I don't know, ma 'am. It seems he made a
statement. Do you have any medicine in

the house? Have you taken any form of
medicine this evening?

I don't think so. Anything like stomach
powders?

This, have you taken any? Well, no, not
this evening.

Where's the bottle?

Upstairs in the bathroom. Would you like
to show us where the bottle is, please?

Our instructions are to impound the
medicine and take you along to the

if you should wish to go.

Wish to go?

Has my husband asked for me?

I don't know, ma 'am. He was asking for
someone. We've been trying to contact

them, but they're not at home.

Who is he asking for?

Harding. Mr. Peter Harding.

We also found the empty altropine bottle
in his car.

Now, if you take that together with his
wife's evidence, that's more than enough

to establish intention.

The thing we're lacking at the moment is
a motive.

I see, Lieutenant.

Money doesn't fit because his wife isn't
insured.

Well, unless he's some kind of a nut,
that just leaves us with the usual

Well, I'm afraid you'll have to
enlighten me, Lieutenant. It's been some

since I've murdered anybody.

Come on, Mr. Harding.

The other woman.

And if there is another woman, there's a
fair chance that she was an accomplice.

You know him pretty well. Can you think
of anyone who'd fit?

Old Barty? No, I don't think so.

He's always been a pretty steady fella.

Yeah.

And like a good, reasonable, steady
fella, he tried to poison his wife.

We have a man on duty at his bedside.
He's bound to talk sooner or later.

But meanwhile, I'd like to know if you
can get anything out of him.

Well, I'll do what I can, Lieutenant.
After all, I am supposed to be his best

friend.

I mean, if he's going to die anyway, why
involve other people?

Well, you know, that's not the way the
law works, Mr. Harding.

In any case, the doctors say he may pull
through.

And if there's any question of there
having been an accomplice, we want to

about it.

Well, I'll do what I can.

gonna be all right.

Why not?

This will pass.

Everything passes.

Not if you haven't anything to look
forward to.

I could even take prison.

There's something waiting for me when I
got out.

I lost the only thing I ever really
wanted.

This isn't necessarily the end of
everything.

For me, it is.

Remember what I said once?

It isn't when that matters, but how.

Yes, I remember.

Well, that's the way it is for me now.

Peter.

You can help me.

Yeah.

The altropine, Peter.

Well, you better get some rest now.

I'll be back in the morning.

Just a moment, sir.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you
what he whispered to you just now.

Oh, that.

Well, it has no bearing on this
investigation.

Well, in that case, you won't mind
telling me what it was.

Well, as a matter of fact, I do mind.

Doesn't have anything to do with you at
all. Something personal. I'm sorry, sir,

but I have to insist.

All right, I'll tell you.

He thinks he's going to die.

He asked me to pray for him.

He asked me to go into a church and pray
for him.

Oh, I see.

I'm very sorry.

I'm afraid I can't stay very long.

Did you do what I asked?

Yes, Barty, I did.

Would you get me a little water?

Okay.

Peter, you know you've done so much for
me.

I hate to ask any more favors.

Oh, don't be silly, Barney.

Just tell me what it is.

Would you look after Lorna?

She's bound to be upset by all this.

Oh, sure.

I'll see that nobody bothers her.

Matter of fact, we might go away for a
week or two.

Go away?

Both of you? Together? Well, I know it
does sound sudden, but...

No, Peter.

As a matter of fact, it doesn't sound
sudden.

It doesn't sound sudden at all.

I'm sorry it had to end like this.

Yeah, well, like you were always saying,
that's the way the cards were dealt.

I guess it was.

But I know who the dealer was.

Officer, this is poison.

This man is poisoning me.

I like that ending very much. But
unfortunately, it is not consistent with

facts of the case. For the police
eventually learned the truth about

villainy. Before leaving you... I wish
to mention that although a poison such

the one mentioned in the story does
exist, it is not considered in the

interest to identify it.

Therefore, it was given a fictitious
name. I mention this to save

husbands the trouble of searching
fruitlessly through medical books.

Until next week, good night.