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Narrator: At a buffet...
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Oh, my god, my favorite,
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y'all.
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Are you crazy?
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Narrator: At the park...
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What the [bleep]
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and in a foreign-language
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class.
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"Halt dein gesitcht, oma."
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And that means, "shut your
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face, grandma!"
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Narrator: Plus, tonight's big
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loser has to pay the price of
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failure.
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Excuse me!
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Pop! ]
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We're at the Jersey gardens
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mall, where we're gonna be
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analyzing handwriting.
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All we're doing is saying
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what we're told.
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And if you refuse... what?
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You lose.
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Would you like a free
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handwriting analysis?
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It's compliments of the mall,
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it's totally free.
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Free handwriting analysis?
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You guys down to do it?
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Yeah.
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Great. Have a seat.
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First sign your name.
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"I can tell by your
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signature..."
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I can tell by your
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signature...
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"that you're Jewish."
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that you are Jewish.
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No, I could tell by your
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signature.
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That's just backup proof.
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[ Laughter ]
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Let's write a sentence now,
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Samuel.
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"I'm going to an interview."
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"I am going to an interview."
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"Wish me diarrhea."
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[ Laughs ]
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"Wish me"... "wish me...
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Diarrhea."
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"Diarrhea"?
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Yes.
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And the reason we write that is
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because...
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no reason.
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No reason.
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[ Laughter ]
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Now, you see how you didn't
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put a period at the end of the
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sentence?
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"Do you know what that
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means?"
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Do you know what that means?
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It means that you, my friend...
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"Have recently..."
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have recently...
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"had intercourse."
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had...
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[ Laughter ]
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Oh, okay.
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[ Ding! ]
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Put your bag down. Relax.
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Okay.
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So, what I need you to do...
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I need to you write a sentence
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for me.
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"Do you know..."
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"Do you know..."
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"where a fella..."
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"where a fella..."
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"can get his hands..."
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"can get his hands..."
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"on a tampon?"
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[ Laughter ]
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"on a tampon?"
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[ Laughing ] Oh.
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[ Laughter ]
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Interestingly, your signature
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is extremely strong.
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"Hold up your pimp hands."
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Uh...
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"Show me your pimp hand."
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Let me see... let me see your
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pimp hand for a second.
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Yeah, let me see it.
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[ Laughs ]
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You don't have a pimp hand?
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There you go.
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Okay. So, let me see it.
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"All right, just slap me
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gently across the face."
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[ Laughter ]
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Okay, I need to see how
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strong your pimp hand is.
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Okay.
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So, if you could just slap me
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a little bit.
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What?
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I ain't got your money.
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I ain't got your money.
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Where's my money at, bitch?
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[ Ding! ]
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[ Laughter ]
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You want a handwriting
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analysis?
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Have a seat.
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All right. Here we go.
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Let's start.
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Write your name there.
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"I can tell by looking at
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this..."
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I can tell by looking at
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this...
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"that you're preggers."
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That... you're pregnant?
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Is that...
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No?
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She's in Egypt?
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"You should make a call."
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You should make a call.
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She's pregnant.
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[ Record scratches ]
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[ Laughter ]
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You put your hand on his
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hand.
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I just got to get a feel for
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your hand.
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Go ahead. Ready?
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Make him write this...
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"I like my jacket."
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"I like my jacket."
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Don't let go of his hand.
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"Q," make a phone call, but
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don't let go of his hand.
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Sorry, I just need to take
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this real quick.
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[ Classical music plays ]
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[ Keypad beeps ]
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Hello?
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Yes.
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I'm still at work.
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No, no, I'll be home by
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midnight.
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"Q," just stroke his finger.
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All right, well, what about
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like a...
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[ Laughter ]
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Yeah. Yeah.
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No.
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No.
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Now pet his head.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Ding! ]
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And what was your name?
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Maria.
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Hi, Maria.
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Joe. Pleased to meet you.
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Just write some numbers for me.
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I'm just gonna throw out some.
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Numbers.
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Okay.
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16.
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Write a 1.
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"Your writing tilts to the
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left."
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Your writing really tilts
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to the left.
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"Why did do you hate men?"
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[ Record scratches ]
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Why do you hate men?
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We're friends here.
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Okay. See? Now, I knew it.
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Overall, when I look at all of
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this...
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"I could tell right away..."
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i could tell right away...
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"that you are a hot
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woman."
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you are a hot woman...
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"trapped in an average
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woman's body."
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Oh.
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You...
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That's a shame.
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[ Laughs ]
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Why? What's so terrible?
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So, write one last thing.
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Just write the word "loser,"
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with a big arrow pointed right
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at me.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Buzzer! ]
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Well, the handwriting's on
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the wall... Joe's a loser.
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This is not how you want to
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start, Joey.
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[ Laughter ]
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Do you know that Joe and I
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have been forging your
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signatures for years?
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Never mind forging my
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signature.
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Stop signing my name up for
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mailing lists without telling
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me, sending magazines to my
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house.
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[ Laughter ]
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We are here at the southern
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smokehouse buffet, and we are
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starving!
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[ Laughter ]
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We're gonna follow patrons
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through the buffet and help
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ourselves to some food from
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their plates.
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Yep.
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The goal is to get as much
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food as you can off their plate.
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At the end, we're gonna weigh
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it.
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Whoever's plate is the
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lightest loses.
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Let's eat.
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All right, guys, "q" is in.
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Grab a plate. It's lunchtime.
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Ugh.
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Hi. How are you?
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You seem very nice.
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Okay.
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[ Laughter ]
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I wouldn't eat those.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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I don't mean to bother you.
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Okay. I'll leave you alone.
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Everyone's shunning him.
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The jig is up.
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I mean, you're supposed to be a
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ninja.
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He's just chasing people around.
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Now you are just harassing
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people.
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This is rough.
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What's the matter, "q"?
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This is a rough one, man.
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I'm out.
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Are you quitting?
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He's quitting.
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Yeah!
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Go ahead, murr.
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Get out there and stalk some
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prey.
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Oh, that guy's looking for
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you right there.
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Oh, didn't work.
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Oh. Shoot.
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[ Speaks indistinctly ]
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Oh.
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[ Laughter ]
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I'm sorry about that.
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I thought that was on my plate.
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I apologize.
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[ Laughter ]
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These people are serious
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about their food.
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Oh, my god.
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That tree just almost fell out
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there.
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Huh?
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That tree almost fell right
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out there.
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It just waved in the branch and
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almost fell, the whole thing.
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It happened right behind your
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head, man.
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[ Laughter ]
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He's confused.
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[ Laughter ]
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He is flipping out to them.
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All he did was get that one
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wing.
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He's got one wing and a corn
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on the cob.
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She's got two plates.
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Oh, my god, he's going for
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the whole plate.
298
00:07:16,089 --> 00:07:17,787
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
299
00:07:17,788 --> 00:07:21,353
Here he goes.
300
00:07:21,354 --> 00:07:22,321
Aw!
301
00:07:22,322 --> 00:07:23,487
He blew it!
302
00:07:23,488 --> 00:07:25,120
[ Laughs ]
303
00:07:25,121 --> 00:07:27,253
That was a pound in one shot.
304
00:07:27,254 --> 00:07:28,920
Are these good, do you think?
305
00:07:28,921 --> 00:07:29,654
Really?
306
00:07:29,654 --> 00:07:30,321
Yeah.
307
00:07:30,322 --> 00:07:32,087
And then what are those?
308
00:07:32,088 --> 00:07:32,988
Let me see.
309
00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:33,721
No. No. No.
310
00:07:33,722 --> 00:07:35,387
Okra? That's perfect.
311
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,087
I'm just gonna...
312
00:07:37,088 --> 00:07:37,521
[ Ding! ]
313
00:07:37,522 --> 00:07:40,120
[ Laughter ]
314
00:07:40,121 --> 00:07:41,088
Wow.
315
00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:41,988
Thank you so much.
316
00:07:41,988 --> 00:07:42,954
Man, that's gonna hurt us.
317
00:07:42,954 --> 00:07:43,688
Wow.
318
00:07:43,689 --> 00:07:46,453
That's gonna hurt us.
319
00:07:46,454 --> 00:07:47,687
H, yes!
320
00:07:47,688 --> 00:07:49,887
All right, 1 pound, 4 ounces.
321
00:07:49,888 --> 00:07:50,821
Sal thinks he's gonna be
322
00:07:50,821 --> 00:07:51,754
invincible in this one.
323
00:07:51,755 --> 00:07:52,953
I'm gonna go in with reckless
324
00:07:52,954 --> 00:07:54,087
abandon like you've never seen
325
00:07:54,088 --> 00:07:56,787
sal before.
326
00:07:56,788 --> 00:08:00,020
Let's go, fearless.
327
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,653
Oh, my god, delicious!
328
00:08:02,654 --> 00:08:09,987
[ Laughter ]
329
00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:12,653
Oh, my god, my favorite, y'all.
330
00:08:12,654 --> 00:08:13,720
Love it.
331
00:08:13,721 --> 00:08:14,521
[ Laughter ]
332
00:08:14,522 --> 00:08:15,620
[ Chuckles ]
333
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:19,153
[ Laughter ]
334
00:08:19,154 --> 00:08:20,320
Look at her face!
335
00:08:20,321 --> 00:08:21,988
She doesn't know what to do.
336
00:08:26,388 --> 00:08:27,121
Here he goes.
337
00:08:27,122 --> 00:08:31,120
Oh!
338
00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:33,053
Loco, boss?
339
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,720
Are you crazy?
340
00:08:35,721 --> 00:08:38,487
Hey, hey, hey.
341
00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:39,620
No, no, no, I just wanted...
342
00:08:39,621 --> 00:08:41,020
Where did you find this one?
343
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,420
It's my favorite.
344
00:08:43,421 --> 00:08:45,720
[ Laughter ]
345
00:08:45,721 --> 00:08:47,253
The amount of dirty looks
346
00:08:47,254 --> 00:08:48,787
that are getting thrown your
347
00:08:48,788 --> 00:08:49,288
way...
348
00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:50,520
This is mayhem going on out
349
00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:50,854
here.
350
00:08:50,855 --> 00:08:52,087
This is complete mayhem.
351
00:08:52,088 --> 00:08:53,320
[ Laughter ]
352
00:08:53,321 --> 00:08:54,353
I'm scared for my life.
353
00:08:54,354 --> 00:08:55,254
The tide has turned, buddy.
354
00:08:55,254 --> 00:08:56,121
Get out of there, man.
355
00:08:56,122 --> 00:08:57,353
Get out. Get out.
356
00:08:57,354 --> 00:08:59,587
Move your ass.
357
00:08:59,588 --> 00:09:00,653
Here we go.
358
00:09:00,654 --> 00:09:01,887
One pound!
359
00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:04,553
For all your bluster,
360
00:09:04,554 --> 00:09:05,488
Mr. Vulcano.
361
00:09:05,489 --> 00:09:07,720
[ Ding! ]
362
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:08,721
All right, Joey, you got to
363
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:12,053
beat one pound.
364
00:09:12,054 --> 00:09:13,687
[ Scatting ]
365
00:09:13,688 --> 00:09:15,587
[ Laughter ]
366
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:17,887
Here goes scatman crothers.
367
00:09:17,888 --> 00:09:19,853
There he goes!
368
00:09:19,854 --> 00:09:21,787
[ Laughing ] Oh, my god.
369
00:09:21,788 --> 00:09:27,953
[ Scatting ]
370
00:09:27,954 --> 00:09:29,987
[ Ding! ] [ Ding! ]
371
00:09:29,988 --> 00:09:33,053
[ Ding! ] [ Ding! ]
372
00:09:33,054 --> 00:09:35,853
[ Laughter ]
373
00:09:35,854 --> 00:09:37,520
[ Laughing ] He grabbed her
374
00:09:37,521 --> 00:09:40,387
whole plate!
375
00:09:40,388 --> 00:09:45,020
[ Scatting ]
376
00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:46,387
Oh!
377
00:09:46,388 --> 00:09:48,153
Oh!
378
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:52,421
This is getting interesting.
379
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,120
[ Scatting ]
380
00:09:58,121 --> 00:09:59,320
[ Ding! ] [ Ding! ]
381
00:09:59,321 --> 00:10:00,587
[ Laughing ] He grabbed her
382
00:10:00,588 --> 00:10:03,753
whole plate!
383
00:10:03,754 --> 00:10:07,787
[ Scatting ]
384
00:10:07,788 --> 00:10:09,687
This is getting interesting.
385
00:10:09,688 --> 00:10:11,187
[ Laughing ] Oh, my god.
386
00:10:11,188 --> 00:10:12,553
Joe trying to take his food.
387
00:10:12,554 --> 00:10:13,587
[ Laughing ] He's trying to take
388
00:10:13,588 --> 00:10:14,188
his food!
389
00:10:14,188 --> 00:10:15,188
[ Laughter ]
390
00:10:15,189 --> 00:10:17,253
[ Scatting ]
391
00:10:17,254 --> 00:10:18,121
[ Laughter ]
392
00:10:18,122 --> 00:10:20,253
It's like a chess match.
393
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:25,620
[ Scatting ]
394
00:10:25,621 --> 00:10:27,887
[ Laughter ]
395
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:32,620
[ Scatting ]
396
00:10:32,621 --> 00:10:37,687
Oh, my god.
397
00:10:37,688 --> 00:10:40,353
[ Laughter ]
398
00:10:40,354 --> 00:10:41,420
Come on. Come on. Come on.
399
00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:42,288
[ Scatting ]
400
00:10:42,288 --> 00:10:42,788
Come on.
401
00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:45,453
[ Scatting ]
402
00:10:45,454 --> 00:10:46,354
[ Ding! ]
403
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:49,687
[ Laughter ]
404
00:10:49,688 --> 00:10:50,720
Let's see what you got,
405
00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:51,753
buddy.
406
00:10:51,754 --> 00:10:53,087
[ Scatting ]
407
00:10:53,088 --> 00:10:53,854
Ah!
408
00:10:53,855 --> 00:10:54,920
Not even a pound!
409
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,320
[ Scatting ] Pbht!
410
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:56,854
[ Buzzer! ]
411
00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:58,653
Loser!
412
00:10:58,654 --> 00:11:00,120
Truly sorry this turned out
413
00:11:00,121 --> 00:11:01,553
for you this way, Joe, but for
414
00:11:01,554 --> 00:11:02,887
us, can we see a little more
415
00:11:02,888 --> 00:11:03,454
scatting?
416
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,354
What do you think, I'm just
417
00:11:04,355 --> 00:11:06,620
gonna... [ Scatting ]
418
00:11:06,621 --> 00:11:08,787
After blowing at the buffet,
419
00:11:08,788 --> 00:11:10,987
Joe has two losses on his plate,
420
00:11:10,988 --> 00:11:12,687
while "q" the quitter weighs in
421
00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,953
with one.
422
00:11:14,954 --> 00:11:16,287
It's insane how fast Joe
423
00:11:16,288 --> 00:11:16,688
eats.
424
00:11:16,689 --> 00:11:18,153
My parents used to let kids
425
00:11:18,154 --> 00:11:19,653
play in my backyard when I came
426
00:11:19,654 --> 00:11:20,454
in for dinner.
427
00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:21,620
So, I'd hear everybody having
428
00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:22,687
fun, and I'm throwing down
429
00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:23,454
Brussels sprouts.
430
00:11:23,455 --> 00:11:24,920
Joe, you realize you're now
431
00:11:24,921 --> 00:11:25,521
an adult.
432
00:11:25,522 --> 00:11:26,920
There's no yard and no kids.
433
00:11:26,921 --> 00:11:27,987
You could slow down.
434
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,220
[ Laughter ]
435
00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:30,954
We're here at fluent
436
00:11:30,954 --> 00:11:31,788
Brooklyn, and we're teaching
437
00:11:31,789 --> 00:11:33,353
a foreign language.
438
00:11:33,354 --> 00:11:34,720
The goal is to get a student
439
00:11:34,721 --> 00:11:35,853
to sign up for our class.
440
00:11:35,854 --> 00:11:37,153
We have no idea what language
441
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,387
we're gonna be teaching, and if
442
00:11:38,388 --> 00:11:39,653
you don't get a student to sign
443
00:11:39,654 --> 00:11:41,120
up, you lose.
444
00:11:41,121 --> 00:11:42,153
Murr gets a pass on this one
445
00:11:42,154 --> 00:11:43,220
'cause he basically speaks every
446
00:11:43,221 --> 00:11:43,621
language.
447
00:11:43,621 --> 00:11:44,588
Go ahead, bubbe. Prove it.
448
00:11:44,588 --> 00:11:45,354
Oh, come on, guys.
449
00:11:45,354 --> 00:11:46,021
I... all right.
450
00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:50,353
[ Speaking foreign languages ]
451
00:11:50,354 --> 00:11:52,088
Touché.
452
00:11:54,621 --> 00:11:55,521
How are you?
453
00:11:55,522 --> 00:11:56,820
Have a seat right over there.
454
00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:57,254
Quinn's up.
455
00:11:57,254 --> 00:11:58,188
Are you ready to learn a new
456
00:11:58,189 --> 00:12:00,387
language?
457
00:12:00,388 --> 00:12:02,520
So am I.
458
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,220
Italian!
459
00:12:04,221 --> 00:12:05,287
[ Laughter ]
460
00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:06,154
Okay.
461
00:12:06,155 --> 00:12:07,287
Teach her how to talk using
462
00:12:07,288 --> 00:12:07,788
her hands.
463
00:12:07,789 --> 00:12:09,953
You ever see an Italian talk?
464
00:12:09,954 --> 00:12:11,653
They're like, "oh!"
465
00:12:11,654 --> 00:12:13,087
When you speak to Italians, it's
466
00:12:13,088 --> 00:12:14,420
best to always wave your hands
467
00:12:14,421 --> 00:12:14,921
around.
468
00:12:14,922 --> 00:12:16,087
All right.
469
00:12:16,088 --> 00:12:17,220
[ Laughter ]
470
00:12:17,221 --> 00:12:19,153
That's right. Just keep...
471
00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:20,520
Keep doing it. Keep doing it.
472
00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:22,220
Two, two, two, two, two.
473
00:12:22,221 --> 00:12:24,953
[ Laughter ]
474
00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:25,754
Okay, great.
475
00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,120
Well, what I have here is some
476
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:27,788
flash cards.
477
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,420
Okay, "ciao, prostitita.
478
00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:31,687
Quanto?"
479
00:12:31,688 --> 00:12:34,221
[ Laughter ]
480
00:12:36,921 --> 00:12:37,987
"Hello, prostitute.
481
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:39,253
How much?"
482
00:12:39,254 --> 00:12:40,920
[ Laughter ]
483
00:12:40,921 --> 00:12:45,587
Okay, here we go.
484
00:12:45,588 --> 00:12:48,353
I aspetti UN bambino o solo
485
00:12:48,354 --> 00:12:50,253
grasso?
486
00:12:50,254 --> 00:12:51,221
Which means?
487
00:12:51,222 --> 00:12:53,553
Which means, "are you
488
00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:55,620
pregnant or just fat?"
489
00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:57,753
[ Laughter ]
490
00:12:57,754 --> 00:12:58,588
So, what do you think?
491
00:12:58,589 --> 00:12:59,653
Do you think you would like to
492
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:00,787
take some Italian courses here
493
00:13:00,788 --> 00:13:03,087
with me?
494
00:13:03,088 --> 00:13:03,621
Yeah?
495
00:13:03,621 --> 00:13:04,521
Aw!
496
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:05,787
Come on, man.
497
00:13:05,788 --> 00:13:07,353
Grazie!
498
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,520
[ Ding! ]
499
00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:11,220
My name's sal.
500
00:13:11,221 --> 00:13:11,788
No problem.
501
00:13:11,789 --> 00:13:13,087
Have a seat right here.
502
00:13:13,088 --> 00:13:13,954
Let's see what we're doing
503
00:13:13,954 --> 00:13:14,254
today.
504
00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:15,221
They have me teaching a bunch
505
00:13:15,222 --> 00:13:16,753
of... ah, uh, German.
506
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,253
[ Laughter ]
507
00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:18,988
"Say good morning."
508
00:13:18,989 --> 00:13:20,687
Say good morning.
509
00:13:20,688 --> 00:13:22,153
Now say it angry German.
510
00:13:22,154 --> 00:13:23,787
Germans speak more like,
511
00:13:23,788 --> 00:13:25,720
"guten Morgan!"
512
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,020
Sal, you can't get angry
513
00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:27,488
enough.
514
00:13:27,489 --> 00:13:29,653
Do you know how to say "no"?
515
00:13:29,654 --> 00:13:31,787
"Nein!"
516
00:13:31,788 --> 00:13:32,987
Let's just improvise a
517
00:13:32,988 --> 00:13:34,187
conversation here and see
518
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,587
how we do.
519
00:13:35,588 --> 00:13:36,454
[ Laughter ]
520
00:13:36,455 --> 00:13:37,787
We can improvise a
521
00:13:37,788 --> 00:13:38,421
conversation.
522
00:13:38,422 --> 00:13:40,353
So, let's say we are hiking in
523
00:13:40,354 --> 00:13:41,154
the woods.
524
00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:42,820
I get attacked by a bear.
525
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:43,588
Mm-hmm.
526
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,720
You have to save my life.
527
00:13:45,721 --> 00:13:46,820
Ready? Go.
528
00:13:46,821 --> 00:13:47,920
[Bleep]
529
00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:50,253
[ Shouting indistinctly ]
530
00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:51,753
Aah!
531
00:13:51,754 --> 00:13:52,920
Nein!
532
00:13:52,921 --> 00:13:56,287
Nein-ein-ein!
533
00:13:56,288 --> 00:13:57,787
Nein-ein-ein!
534
00:13:57,788 --> 00:14:01,020
Nein-ein-ein!
535
00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:02,353
[ Laughter ]
536
00:14:02,354 --> 00:14:03,920
Yes. Yes.
537
00:14:03,921 --> 00:14:05,887
[ Laughter ]
538
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:06,788
Let's do some more
539
00:14:06,788 --> 00:14:07,688
conversational pieces.
540
00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:08,787
I have some flash cards and
541
00:14:08,788 --> 00:14:09,154
stuff.
542
00:14:09,155 --> 00:14:11,453
"Halt dein gesitcht, oma."
543
00:14:11,454 --> 00:14:13,353
[ Both laugh ]
544
00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:14,420
And that means...
545
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,153
Yeah?
546
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,020
"shut your face, grandma!"
547
00:14:18,021 --> 00:14:19,287
[ Laughter ]
548
00:14:19,288 --> 00:14:21,187
So, right now, can you... would
549
00:14:21,188 --> 00:14:24,721
you want to take my German
550
00:14:30,254 --> 00:14:31,553
Let's see what we're doing
551
00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:31,921
today.
552
00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:33,120
They have me teaching a bunch
553
00:14:33,121 --> 00:14:34,520
of... ah, uh, German.
554
00:14:34,521 --> 00:14:34,988
[ Laughter ]
555
00:14:34,989 --> 00:14:37,187
Do you know how to say "no"?
556
00:14:37,188 --> 00:14:37,888
"Nein!"
557
00:14:37,889 --> 00:14:40,020
[ Laughter ]
558
00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:41,353
Can you... would you want to
559
00:14:41,354 --> 00:14:43,354
take my German class?
560
00:14:46,021 --> 00:14:47,120
Ah!
561
00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:48,687
That's a definite "ja!"
562
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,987
[ Ding! ]
563
00:14:50,988 --> 00:14:52,320
Let's see what we are
564
00:14:52,321 --> 00:14:53,820
teaching today.
565
00:14:53,821 --> 00:14:56,887
Okay, so... oh, Portuguese.
566
00:14:56,888 --> 00:14:58,520
So, we're gonna do some
567
00:14:58,521 --> 00:14:59,521
Portuguese today.
568
00:14:59,521 --> 00:15:00,454
Okay.
569
00:15:00,455 --> 00:15:01,553
Right now I'd like to...
570
00:15:01,554 --> 00:15:02,787
"Sing a Portuguese love song
571
00:15:02,788 --> 00:15:03,221
to you."
572
00:15:03,222 --> 00:15:06,020
[ Laughter ]
573
00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:07,753
sing a Portuguese love
574
00:15:07,754 --> 00:15:08,288
song.
575
00:15:08,289 --> 00:15:09,687
Let me think which one I want to
576
00:15:09,688 --> 00:15:10,887
sing 'cause I know so many
577
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:11,920
Portuguese love songs.
578
00:15:11,921 --> 00:15:13,887
[ Laughter ]
579
00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:14,854
[ Vocalizes ]
580
00:15:14,855 --> 00:15:16,053
[ Chuckles ]
581
00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:20,420
[ Singing indistinctly ]
582
00:15:20,421 --> 00:15:22,320
She looks shell-shocked.
583
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:29,687
[ Singing indistinctly ]
584
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:32,720
[ Laughter ]
585
00:15:32,721 --> 00:15:33,721
All right, so, let's get into
586
00:15:33,721 --> 00:15:34,354
our flash cards.
587
00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:37,120
Okay, so, "gostaria de ir a um
588
00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:42,720
encontro com o seu professor?"
589
00:15:42,721 --> 00:15:43,654
He's stalling.
590
00:15:43,655 --> 00:15:45,020
You're not gonna get out
591
00:15:45,021 --> 00:15:45,488
of it.
592
00:15:45,488 --> 00:15:45,988
Say it.
593
00:15:45,989 --> 00:15:47,520
That's "would you like to go
594
00:15:47,521 --> 00:15:50,220
on a date with your teacher?"
595
00:15:50,221 --> 00:15:51,188
Oh, that was easy.
596
00:15:51,189 --> 00:15:52,387
You remembered "no" so easily.
597
00:15:52,388 --> 00:15:53,987
[ Laughter ]
598
00:15:53,988 --> 00:15:55,187
Would you like to sign up for
599
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,753
my class?
600
00:15:57,754 --> 00:15:58,554
Oh!
601
00:15:58,555 --> 00:16:00,187
Shutdown!
602
00:16:00,188 --> 00:16:01,420
Oh, how the mighty have
603
00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:02,653
fallen.
604
00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:04,353
Narrator: That's tres losses
605
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,120
for Jose, and we're just moments
606
00:16:06,121 --> 00:16:07,753
away from crowning the king of
607
00:16:07,754 --> 00:16:08,521
the losers.
608
00:16:08,522 --> 00:16:10,220
When it's all over, who will be
609
00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:13,687
sitting on the throne?
610
00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:14,953
Sal, how come whenever you
611
00:16:14,954 --> 00:16:16,253
meet a pretty latina, you have
612
00:16:16,254 --> 00:16:17,287
to like tell her you're
613
00:16:17,288 --> 00:16:17,888
half-Cuban?
614
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:19,053
Number one, I am Cuban.
615
00:16:19,054 --> 00:16:20,487
No, if a girl comes up to you
616
00:16:20,488 --> 00:16:21,820
and she's like, "hola," you're
617
00:16:21,821 --> 00:16:24,553
like, "hey, qué pasa?!"
618
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:25,720
All of a sudden you're
619
00:16:25,721 --> 00:16:26,521
cheech marin.
620
00:16:26,521 --> 00:16:27,321
[ Laughter ]
621
00:16:27,322 --> 00:16:32,587
He's a Mexican, you [bleep]
622
00:16:32,588 --> 00:16:35,620
Guys, I just want to dance.
623
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:36,354
[ Laughter ]
624
00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:37,354
Today we're in the park,
625
00:16:37,355 --> 00:16:38,487
where the challenge is you have
626
00:16:38,488 --> 00:16:39,620
to go up to strangers and dance
627
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:41,020
with them.
628
00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:41,854
Yeah, you have to get
629
00:16:41,855 --> 00:16:42,887
somebody to dance with you, but
630
00:16:42,888 --> 00:16:43,788
you're not allowed to say a
631
00:16:43,788 --> 00:16:44,088
word.
632
00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:45,088
If you can't get them to
633
00:16:45,089 --> 00:16:47,154
dance with you, you lose.
634
00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:51,653
Sal's making his way on to
635
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:52,988
the dance floor.
636
00:16:55,621 --> 00:16:57,053
That's your guy, sal.
637
00:16:57,054 --> 00:16:58,687
Get your boogie shoes on.
638
00:16:58,688 --> 00:16:59,720
Here he goes.
639
00:16:59,721 --> 00:17:02,487
Let me see.
640
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:06,953
[ Laughter ]
641
00:17:06,954 --> 00:17:11,120
He went to a shimmy.
642
00:17:11,121 --> 00:17:12,787
Who is gonna break first?
643
00:17:12,788 --> 00:17:13,853
Oh, no.
644
00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:15,521
He switched it up.
645
00:17:19,421 --> 00:17:20,887
Okay. Don't pour that on me.
646
00:17:20,888 --> 00:17:21,821
I'm sorry.
647
00:17:21,822 --> 00:17:25,853
[ Laughter ]
648
00:17:25,854 --> 00:17:27,820
Not even close.
649
00:17:27,821 --> 00:17:29,821
Joe, get the guy laying down.
650
00:17:38,154 --> 00:17:40,420
[ Laughter ]
651
00:17:40,421 --> 00:17:42,420
Oh, that is so weird-looking.
652
00:17:42,421 --> 00:17:43,687
There's no way in hell that
653
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,854
guy's dancing with him.
654
00:17:52,121 --> 00:17:53,353
[ Laughter ]
655
00:17:53,354 --> 00:17:55,220
[ Buzzer! ]
656
00:17:55,221 --> 00:17:56,453
It's my turn to make an ass
657
00:17:56,454 --> 00:17:57,121
out of myself.
658
00:17:57,122 --> 00:17:58,387
You got to get those two old
659
00:17:58,388 --> 00:18:02,087
ladies.
660
00:18:02,088 --> 00:18:04,221
[ Laughter ]
661
00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:13,720
[ Laughter ]
662
00:18:13,721 --> 00:18:14,820
He's putting the hand out.
663
00:18:14,821 --> 00:18:15,821
He's putting out the olive
664
00:18:15,821 --> 00:18:16,221
branch.
665
00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:17,154
Yeah, but are they gonna
666
00:18:17,154 --> 00:18:17,554
join in?
667
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:20,187
No way.
668
00:18:20,188 --> 00:18:24,653
[ Laughs ]
669
00:18:24,654 --> 00:18:25,720
Fail.
670
00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:27,353
[ Buzzer! ]
671
00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:28,354
All right, "q," it all comes
672
00:18:28,355 --> 00:18:29,520
down to you, buddy.
673
00:18:29,521 --> 00:18:31,853
Those girls are all yours.
674
00:18:31,854 --> 00:18:33,053
20 years we have known
675
00:18:33,054 --> 00:18:33,721
Brian Quinn.
676
00:18:33,722 --> 00:18:35,120
I've never seen him dance at a
677
00:18:35,121 --> 00:18:36,253
wedding, on a vacation.
678
00:18:36,254 --> 00:18:40,420
I have never seen him dance.
679
00:18:40,421 --> 00:18:43,021
[ Laughter ]
680
00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:50,120
What is he doing?
681
00:18:50,121 --> 00:18:51,653
You see this guy?
682
00:18:51,654 --> 00:18:53,487
He's got nothing.
683
00:18:53,488 --> 00:18:55,320
This is some [bleep] dance
684
00:18:55,321 --> 00:18:57,220
moves right here, man.
685
00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,787
He's trying.
686
00:18:58,788 --> 00:19:00,620
No, he can't do it.
687
00:19:00,621 --> 00:19:03,753
Oh, my god, she's getting up.
688
00:19:03,754 --> 00:19:04,920
She's not dancing yet.
689
00:19:04,921 --> 00:19:06,953
Together: Oh!
690
00:19:06,954 --> 00:19:08,253
[ Ding! ]
691
00:19:08,254 --> 00:19:10,320
She danced!
692
00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:11,653
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
693
00:19:11,654 --> 00:19:12,421
You were cheating.
694
00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:13,453
You were mouthing the words!
695
00:19:13,454 --> 00:19:14,188
Doesn't matter.
696
00:19:14,189 --> 00:19:15,887
I didn't say anything.
697
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:16,854
Let's ask the girls.
698
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,153
Yeah, we'll get to the bottom
699
00:19:18,154 --> 00:19:18,621
of this.
700
00:19:18,622 --> 00:19:20,454
Did he say something to you?
701
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,653
What?!
702
00:19:25,654 --> 00:19:28,320
So I can end it, please.
703
00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:30,587
Oh, you son of a bitch!
704
00:19:30,588 --> 00:19:32,187
You son of a bitch!
705
00:19:32,188 --> 00:19:33,353
You're a cheater!
706
00:19:33,354 --> 00:19:34,221
Cheater!
707
00:19:34,222 --> 00:19:35,753
You lied!
708
00:19:35,754 --> 00:19:36,421
[ Buzzer! ]
709
00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:39,453
Ah, what a dick!
710
00:19:39,454 --> 00:19:41,387
"Q," are you the only loser.
711
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:42,787
Agreed? Agreed?
712
00:19:42,788 --> 00:19:43,588
Agreed.
713
00:19:43,589 --> 00:19:44,787
[ Imitates explosion ]
714
00:19:44,788 --> 00:19:45,754
She's lying.
715
00:19:45,755 --> 00:19:47,387
She's clearly lying.
716
00:19:47,388 --> 00:19:49,287
Narrator: Even with "q's"
717
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,087
loss, Joe is tonight's big
718
00:19:51,088 --> 00:19:51,721
loser.
719
00:19:51,722 --> 00:19:52,753
We've been waiting for this
720
00:19:52,754 --> 00:19:53,554
day for a while, Joey.
721
00:19:53,554 --> 00:19:54,554
Yeah, I'll tell you right
722
00:19:54,555 --> 00:19:55,653
now... this one's gonna get you,
723
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:55,921
bud.
724
00:19:55,922 --> 00:19:57,453
Joe's game play was full of
725
00:19:57,454 --> 00:19:57,888
crap.
726
00:19:57,889 --> 00:19:59,053
As a result, we've brought
727
00:19:59,054 --> 00:20:00,253
him to this nice little coffee
728
00:20:00,254 --> 00:20:00,588
shop.
729
00:20:00,588 --> 00:20:01,521
You're gonna go in that
730
00:20:01,522 --> 00:20:02,787
bathroom, which is out of toilet
731
00:20:02,788 --> 00:20:03,920
paper, and have to open that
732
00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:05,187
door... I mean open that door
733
00:20:05,188 --> 00:20:06,387
right into the coffee shop.
734
00:20:06,388 --> 00:20:08,487
Pants down, begging for
735
00:20:08,488 --> 00:20:09,254
toilet paper.
736
00:20:09,254 --> 00:20:09,788
Okay.
737
00:20:09,789 --> 00:20:11,887
[ Laughter ]
738
00:20:11,888 --> 00:20:15,020
This man has no fear.
739
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:17,153
[ Indistinct conversations ]
740
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:18,154
All right, he's going in.
741
00:20:18,155 --> 00:20:20,753
There he is.
742
00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:24,588
Excuse me!
743
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,287
You're gonna go in that
744
00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:31,520
bathroom, which is out of toilet
745
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:32,720
paper, and you have to open that
746
00:20:32,721 --> 00:20:35,287
door and beg for help.
747
00:20:35,288 --> 00:20:36,221
All right, he's going in.
748
00:20:36,222 --> 00:20:40,353
There he is.
749
00:20:40,354 --> 00:20:42,253
[ Laughter ]
750
00:20:42,254 --> 00:20:44,320
Excuse me!
751
00:20:44,321 --> 00:20:47,820
I need a little help!
752
00:20:47,821 --> 00:20:50,187
I ran out of toilet paper.
753
00:20:50,188 --> 00:20:50,888
A little help?
754
00:20:50,889 --> 00:20:52,220
Can... can someone get me some
755
00:20:52,221 --> 00:20:52,888
toilet paper?
756
00:20:52,889 --> 00:20:54,287
I just took a huge [bleep] and I
757
00:20:54,288 --> 00:20:56,820
only have this much left.
758
00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:58,253
It's a mess in here.
759
00:20:58,254 --> 00:20:59,687
Ma'am, I know you see me.
760
00:20:59,688 --> 00:21:01,053
Could you get someone?
761
00:21:01,054 --> 00:21:01,954
He doesn't even care.
762
00:21:01,955 --> 00:21:04,353
He has no shame.
763
00:21:04,354 --> 00:21:06,687
Can anyone help me, please?!
764
00:21:06,688 --> 00:21:07,254
Please!
765
00:21:07,255 --> 00:21:08,987
This is the last piece of toilet
766
00:21:08,988 --> 00:21:09,521
paper!
767
00:21:09,522 --> 00:21:11,153
[ Laughter ]
768
00:21:11,154 --> 00:21:12,453
Why does he never look
769
00:21:12,454 --> 00:21:13,021
nervous?
770
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,453
It's not even fazing him.
771
00:21:14,454 --> 00:21:16,387
[ Applause ]
772
00:21:16,388 --> 00:21:17,388
[ Laughter ]
773
00:21:17,389 --> 00:21:18,487
You got to be kidding me.
774
00:21:18,488 --> 00:21:19,488
You got to be kidding me.
775
00:21:19,488 --> 00:21:20,388
Why, what happened?
776
00:21:20,389 --> 00:21:21,487
You don't have a shameful
777
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:22,887
bone in your body.
778
00:21:22,888 --> 00:21:23,854
Hey, I needed toilet paper.
779
00:21:23,854 --> 00:21:24,754
Be ashamed of something.
780
00:21:24,754 --> 00:21:25,654
Your pants were around your
781
00:21:25,654 --> 00:21:25,988
ankles.
782
00:21:25,989 --> 00:21:27,553
Don't be mad at me that you
783
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:28,321
can't get me.
784
00:21:28,322 --> 00:21:29,620
I'm going to get you.
785
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:30,354
I promise you.
786
00:21:30,354 --> 00:21:31,054
All right.
787
00:21:31,054 --> 00:21:32,021
I bet you you don't.
788
00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:32,854
I'm going to.
789
00:21:32,855 --> 00:21:33,894
I didn't wash my hands.
42609
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