Original subtitles

Good evening.

Hello, citizens.

I am now about to launch another campaign.

My party chose this as their platform.

It is a very practical party. I have always thought it was much more

to stand for a seat than to run for an office.

But if it is necessary to run, then I say be as comfortable as possible.

By the way, I'm not looking for an honest man. That would be rather absurd

political campaign. In order to conserve funds, I'm also doubling as break man.

During my absence, our players will present Water's Edge, a story

which is as far removed from politics as one could get.

It begins in a prison. It concerns thieves and murderers, but most of all,

concerns an uncontrollable lust for money.

And money reminds me of this next item.

You okay, Kraus?

Mike?

Yeah.

Thought I'd see a doc about that cough.

I'm okay.

I don't need no doctor.

Yeah, hear from him. Helen?

She was over in Haynesville.

Got a job.

She's a waitress.

That's a great girl.

Ten years is a lot of time for a dame to wait for a guy, you know?

She'll wait.

She'll wait, Rusty.

Can't figure you out, mate.

You look like an honest John.

I'd never figure you to pull a heist to knock off your best friend.

Will you forget it?

Now you keep playing that record. Now will you forget it, Rusty?

Mike?

Yeah?

Tell me about Helen again.

Helen.

Long, blonde, soft hair.

And her legs.

She had the greatest pair of legs you've ever seen.

There was a lake.

I was two or three miles out of Norton Center.

We used to go out there in the summertime.

Helen would swim.

She loved to swim in that lake.

In the summer, she'd get all brown.

She was beautiful.

Rusty, she was the best -looking doll I ever saw in my whole life.

Sometimes, I'd get two or three bottles of beer.

We'd go out to the lake.

The moon would be up.

Pine needles all soft.

That's the two of us.

Couldn't hear anything around.

Maybe hear a bird.

Sometimes a cowbell jingling.

You hear me, Rusty?

I'll tell you, there's nothing in the world like having a good loving woman.

All right, you guys, knock it off.

Bed six, over in the corner. Yeah, I can see that.

What is it, the flu?

It was, but the doc said it's the pneumonia now.

How is he?

He might make it, he might not.

Depends.

And what?

Big dice.

honesty, Mike.

Hiya, pal.

How they treating you, boy?

Fine.

Doc's gonna fix me up real good.

Sure, sure. You'll be out of the bag in no time.

Don't forget Helen's waiting for you.

Yeah, sure.

Listen, she's been waiting out there faithfully, boy. A dame like that

a break.

She's the one that ought to inherit the money, Mike.

I don't know anything about that money.

The 56 Gs, you just don't want it to disappear, do you?

Huh? The 56 grand, where is it? I'll tell Helen.

Helen? She's waited two years. The money won't do nobody no good where it is

now. I'll tell you, I don't know anything about that money.

No, don't kid me, kid.

Wait. Hold up. You stashed that doughnut, where is it?

Never.

Never find it. Never find it. Why?

Why won't they find it?

Because... Yeah?

Because...

Pete Taylor still got the money.

What do you mean Pete Taylor still got the money?

You told me that they couldn't find the body.

Hey, Ed.

Yeah?

I think he's passed out.

Hey, you better scram. I'll call the doc.

Anything like that live around here?

Nah.

Where's a guy get a bite to eat in this town?

Oh, there are a couple of places on Main Street.

There's Marie's. That's a chili parlor.

Al's Lunch.

Bright Spot.

The Bright Spot, huh?

Gribble right there?

Well, it ain't bad.

Where do you eat?

Home.

Yours, mister.

Java. Anything with it?

No. The booze is for dinner.

All right, bring me a menu and give me a coffee.

I'm looking for Mrs.

Helen Krause.

I'm Helen Krause.

No, uh, what I mean is I'm looking for a Helen Cross used to live in Norton

Center.

I used to live over in Norton Center.

This girl was married to a guy named Mike.

That's me.

What's this all about?

I, uh, I got a message from your husband.

Mike's dead.

Yeah, I know. I was with him when he died.

He died in jail.

That's right. We were soulmates for two years.

That so?

Yeah, my name's Rusty Connors.

Rusty Connors.

Okay.

What's the message?

Well, look, we can't talk here. What time are you off?

7 .30.

All right, I'll meet you outside the joint.

Mm -mm.

There's an old bandstand out at the edge of town.

Meet me there.

Fine.

You better order something. The boss is looking.

What's on the dinner?

Chicken fried steak.

Fine. Give me a minute, darling.

Soup or salad?

Soup.

You scared me.

That's right, I forgot. You don't smoke, Mike told me.

Mike told me a lot of things about you, Helen.

You know how it is in stir.

Three walls, iron bars. If you don't talk, you go nuts.

I, uh... I used to envy Mike a lot.

I had nobody outside waiting for me.

Did, uh... Mike ever talk to you about me? I mean, did he ever write you about

me?

Yeah. He was okay.

He said you was the best friend he had.

Oh, Mike was a great guy in my book. A1.

He didn't deserve to be stuck in a lousy hole like that.

He said the same thing about you.

Yeah, well, it's the system. You can't beat the rap without dope, you know.

You take me. I was just a kid. I spent four years in the Navy.

I was waiting around until my pay ran out.

A guy offers me a job in a bookie joint.

One night they raid the place.

I get handed this suitcase full of dough, you know, the day's taken. I get

to beat it out the back way.

There's this copper standing there with a gun.

So I swing the suitcase.

I mean, I didn't mean to hurt him. I never pulled no strong -arm stuff in my

life.

Anyway, the copper winds up with a skull fracture, so...

Sounds like you got a tough deal.

Yeah, well, so did Mike.

I couldn't figure him out at first.

He looked like an honest John.

Lunchbox in the morning, Thursday night at the bowling alley type.

You'd never figure Mike to pull a heist and knock off his best friend.

They never did find Pete Taylor's body, did they?

No. I bet they looked.

They looked.

Yeah, they looked for a whole year, they looked.

Must have been a rough couple of years on you, huh, baby?

Pretty rough.

Well, Mike always said he was framed.

The DA never proved nothing.

The DA never proved nothing.

Somebody said they saw Mike pick up Pete in a parking lot outside the bank.

He had the payroll money with him.

His car wouldn't start, so they said Mike drove off with him.

Nobody ever saw Pete Taylor again, or the money.

Cops found bloodstains in Mike's car later, and his rifle was missing.

That's the evidence.

I swore in court that he spent the whole afternoon with me, but didn't do no

good. Still got ten years.

And did two.

And died.

Was Mike with you that afternoon?

No.

He, uh... He did knock off Pete Taylor.

I guess.

And he never confessed where he put the body? Never told you where he hid the

dough? Nope.

Fifty -six thousand dollars.

Fifty -six thousand dollars.

And he never told you nothing?

Well, what do you think?

Well, you were his wife. Mike was always talking how crazy he was about you.

Well, you saw that hash joint where I worked. Does it look like he told me

something?

Okay.

Supposing you did find the dough.

What would you do?

Turn it over to the cops?

What for?

They put Mike away. They killed him. They let him rot.

I was there. They tried to save him.

Yeah, but it was too late.

Mike paid for that money with his life.

I'm his widow.

It's mine.

Ours.

Did he told you where he hid the money?

Before Mike croaked.

I mean, before he died.

We shared things.

His secrets are mine and...

Mine were his.

Why are you cutting me in if Mike told you where he hid the money?

I'm a stranger.

People might get ideas, I start snooping around.

With your help, maybe I don't have to snoop.

With what you know and what I can remember, you might be able to go right

Strictly business?

Well, not strictly.

Like I said, Mike talked about you for two years in that cell.

After a while, I got to thinking I knew you.

You know me.

Two years of Mike talking and me thinking about you.

I was falling in love with a dame I'd never seen. I kept wanting a dame I'd

never met.

It was crazy.

is a long time for a guy who can't do nothing but think about it.

Nice, huh?

What?

Like this.

It's perfect.

Funny.

You dreaming about me and here we are.

Life's a big surprise.

That's what it is, baby.

A big surprise.

You feel like talking?

Now?

Sure.

We better make some plans.

That's what I like. That's what I like, a practical thing.

Well, if we're going to find the money.

Well, sure, sure. Let's talk. Sooner or later.

I'll heed it, McCall.

Let's start at the beginning.

You want to know what Mike told me the day he died?

Yeah.

He said they never found the money. He said they couldn't.

Why? Because Pete Taylor still got it.

Is that all?

What do you mean?

Is that all Mike said to you?

You mean you came all the way to Haynesville to find me with just that?

Honey, it's as plain as the nose on your kisser.

The money is with Pete Taylor's body.

Never mind my nose. I can find that.

For two years, every cop in the county has been looking and they couldn't find

Pete Taylor's body.

Oh, I don't know. I thought you had something.

I thought my luck was changing. You're stupid.

What are you, stupid?

We got the information. All we gotta do now is figure where to look.

Gee, how easy.

Well, think, will you? Use your head.

Where'd the cops look?

Where didn't they look?

Your place?

They tore up the house, including the basement. Where else?

Well, the sheriff had them search in the woods for a whole month. All the barns,

deserted farmhouses. They even dragged the lake.

We gotta find Pete Taylor's wife or girlfriend if he had one. That's what we

gotta do.

Pete was a bachelor.

He didn't have a steady girl. He had a shack out at the lake. And they tore

up. They even ripped up the floorboards.

All right, let's be intelligent about this thing.

Let's see now.

Mike picked up Pete at the parking lot.

As I get it, you were the next person to see him, right?

Right at home.

So we got to figure out how much time passed from the time Mike picked up Pete

until the time he got home.

About three hours.

All right, then he couldn't have gone very far. The body must be hidden near

town. Yeah, well, that's what the police figured. They really did a job.

They dug up the ditches, drained the quarry.

Well, there's got to be an answer somewhere. Okay, honey, let's just take

another angle.

Pete Taylor and your husband were pals, right?

Yeah. For a long time?

Well, as long as Mike and me was married.

They boozed together? They played cards?

No, no, Mike didn't booze.

Mostly they hunted and fished together.

Pete had his shack, like I told you, down at the lake.

There's got to be something.

Well, don't think I haven't tried to figure it out. What do you think I've

doing for two years?

Two years.

There ain't no answer.

For 56 grand, there's got to be an answer.

Now, I want you to tell me everything that happened the day that Pete Taylor

killed.

Because there might be something you forgot that's very, very important.

Well, I've been over it and over it.

Well, let's see.

I was hoping.

Mike, Mike didn't go to work that day. He said he was going to bum around

downtown somewhere.

Was he nervous? Did he act funny? No.

Oh, you mean did he plan it? Yeah. No.

I think it just happened.

I think he found himself in the car with all the money and it just happened.

That's not what the police thought.

No, no, they said Mike planned it.

They said Mike knew it was payday and he always went to the bank.

They put the payroll in a little black box.

They said Mike knew it and he was in the parking lot waiting.

All right, all right.

Now, Mike must have said something that afternoon when he got home. No. No, he

didn't have time. The squad car was there in five minutes.

That fast?

Who tipped him?

I don't know.

But somebody saw Pete drive off with Mike.

And they come for him.

When's your day off?

Tomorrow. You got a car for rent joint in this town?

Sure, but what do we need a car for?

Because we're going out to Pete Taylor's shack on that lake.

We're going to find that money, baby. Don't you worry about that.

Sure, with the Ouija board.

We'll find it tomorrow out on the water's edge.

And we'll just sit down on the beach and split 28 ,000 bucks apiece.

You may have to split.

Is that it?

That's Taylor's check.

Now give me the flashlight.

All right, come on, let's go.

You can see what it's like. It couldn't hide a dead fly in there.

Are you satisfied now?

No.

When the cops came to grab Mike at the house, where was he?

Upstairs in the bathroom.

Uh -huh. Go ahead, go ahead.

He was all muddy, his hands, even his shoes.

Well, that's something, isn't it?

And I remember he was cleaning this cut on his hand.

What do you mean, a cut?

Yeah, a cut. It was all bloody.

I noticed it and I said, what happened to your hand, Mike?

He was halfway up the stairs and he stopped.

Then he said something funny.

You should have told me this before.

He said something about rats.

What do you mean? A rat bit him? No, no.

He just said something about rats.

I couldn't make it out.

Do the cops know about this?

Oh, sure.

The doctor testified in court. He cut his hand with a razor.

They found a razor upstairs.

In his bathroom, all bloody.

Strange one.

Yeah. But the D .A. said it was to make the police believe that those

bloodstains on the car seat was his.

It could have been.

Rusty.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

First he talks about rats, then he goes upstairs and he cuts his hand with a

razor.

Don't you get it?

You don't get it, huh?

You don't get it, huh?

A rat did bite him.

A rat did bite him. Maybe when he was getting rid of the body. But if anyone

knew that, then they'd look for it where there were rats.

So what does he do? He opens the wound with a razor.

It may be.

But where does that leave us? Do we have to search every hole in town that's got

rats?

I hope not. I hate the things. They give me the creeps.

I just see them when I was in the Navy.

Around the docks. Big fat around the dock.

That's it.

What?

He said they went fishing. They borrowed a boat. Where'd they get it?

Well, from some people from Chicago. The Thompsons. They lived near us. They had

a boat.

Well, maybe the Thompsons know something.

Not a chance.

You seem pretty sure about that, don't you?

Two weeks before the robbery, they was killed in an auto accident on their way

to Chicago.

Baby, if I'm right, it's 56 grand.

Where's the Thompson place?

Cop search here?

I don't know, I guess.

Search good enough, yeah.

I'll be back.

Turn that flashlight, will you?

What's that?

The rats.

The boat's gone, too.

There's nothing here.

Why? This place gives me the creeps. Yeah, well, you can say that again.

Money's got to be here somewhere.

Why didn't you buy a crystal ball with that $15 the state gave you?

Wait here.

What are you going to do?

Where are you going?

What?

The roof's higher than the ceiling.

There's a space up there.

Rusty, listen.

What is it?

Rats.

Up there?

In there.

There's space in there.

There are rats in there.

And something else, Rusty.

There's something else in there.

See if you can find something that looks like a crowbar.

Oh, is this okay? Yeah, yeah.

What are you doing?

Give me that boat hook.

Is anything there? Do you see anything?

Pete. Is it Pete?

I'm coming down.

Is the money in there? Is this the money?

Your head better?

You double -crossed a train. Oh, lover, you were gonna knock me off with that

rock, weren't you, lover?

Where's your glasses?

Right there.

I thought... I couldn't see without them?

I never did need them, lover.

It was an act, and I fell for it.

Yes, it was an act, and you fell for it. The glasses, letting my hair grow out,

putting on all this weight.

Mike, Mike said that you were a doll. I couldn't... Oh, I was a doll two years

ago. For two years, I've been putting on this dumb slob routine.

Why?

So nobody'd notice me.

And when I leave town, nobody's gonna even notice I'm gone.

A dumb slob who used to sling hash?

Who cares?

All right, Mike was dumb. Yeah, Mike was dumb.

He had a great big blonde baby doll in his house, and that's all he knew, saw,

or wanted.

It wasn't the money Mike went after P4.

You were two -time, huh?

Six months.

Pretty good, huh?

Then he began to suspect me.

I don't know who told him.

I'll bet you don't.

Well, I was getting kind of tired of Pete.

And Mike went gunning for her. Right.

And you knew the money would be there.

The payroll and that Mike would have to do something about it.

I was just a great big dumb baby doll lover, remember?

Why didn't Mike tell the cops that you were cheating on him?

Because when he came home, I convinced him it wasn't true.

I didn't love anyone but my Mikey.

I don't believe you.

I wiggled a little when I said it. Well, I don't believe you, baby.

I don't believe you were any blonde doll.

You're a fat slob now and you're a fat slob then. You shut up.

Kissing, you touch, you know what it was like?

Sticking my head in a lard can.

You shut up, I tell you, shut up. The first time I walked into that hash

you know what I thought? I said to myself, I couldn't believe it. I said,

Helen, I said.

That barrel of... That thing is going to bust the uniform.

I disappointed you, huh?

Disappointed me, Toots.

Disappointed me, I was disgusted.

Mike needed an eye doctor. He needed a new scale.

I was everything Mike said I was.

Toots, you were twice as much as he said you were. Listen, I put it on and I can

take it off again. How, with a meat grinder?

Walking, walking back and forth from the bank, lover.

That's how.

You know, when you showed up, I knew why you come.

I know how creeps like you think.

And that's what you are, Connors. A creep.

That makes us two of us.

Two creeps. Listen, you know where I'd be if I was as stupid? If I was as

as you and Mike?

Where Pete Taylor is now?

Up there with the rats?

What are you going to do?

First I'm going to take a bus out of Hainesville.

And then I'm going to stop in a small town and I'm going to check into a

And I'm going to melt 30 pounds off me.

And then I'm going to bleach my hair blonde again.

And I'm going to buy a couple of tight dresses.

And I'm going back to being the old Helen Krause.

That great big blonde baby doll.

And I have 56 grand to do it with.

They'll find you. No, they won't find me.

And they won't find you either.

Not for a long, long time.

And when they do, maybe they won't even know who you were.

Who they gonna ask?

The rat?

You fat slob. You tub of lard. You fat slob.

This will just keep you from screaming later.

Well, now.

You're all dressed up for the party.

Bye, lover.

And thanks for everything.

And so we take leave of Rusty Connors, lover, treasure hunter, Pied

Piper. Next week we shall return with another story and more campaign

Until then, good night.

dead certain.

TV Land's going to keep you in suspense all weekend long with Alfred Hitchcock

morning, noon, and night. Stay tuned for more gripping tales, twist endings, and

dead certain TV satisfaction.