Original subtitles

Good evening.

Welcome to the dead letter office.

I trust you have not come here to mail any letters that are still wriggling.

We now have a firm policy from which we are not permitted to waver.

All letters must be dead on arrival.

I don't know why this was necessary.

If any of the letters were not dead when they arrived... They certainly would be

before we'd finish with them.

This evening we present Change of Address.

It is about a woman who has definite reservations about the house she and her

husband are renting.

Doubts which are vague but very disturbing.

There is one person whose messages, unfortunately, never find their way into

office. They are all too clearly addressed.

That person is our sponsor, and an example of his work follows.

a mortgage -burning party, and he burned the house down.

I'll have the filters changed in this furnace.

I'm going to check out the thermostat before you move in so it won't be a

hazard. The floor is damp.

That's why you've got the oil burner down here.

Not like those skimpy floor heaters you find in most of the houses up and down

the area.

That's what makes a cellar such a great feature in this place.

With this kind of equipment comes a cold snap, you're snug and warm.

The damp won't bother you.

I hate this house. I don't want to live here. I don't want to live here. What

happened? How do I know what happened? I was standing here looking out the

window and all of a sudden it broke. That's all.

Well, there had to be something.

I don't care what it was. I don't like the beach. I never did.

Oh, you'll see. You'll get to like it. After a couple of weeks, you wouldn't

live anyplace else.

There it is.

A seagull.

Dear Rex.

Must have smashed against the window.

Oh, fast thinking. Thank you.

Did you hurt yourself?

A bit. Here, let me have it.

It's just one of those things, Mrs. Holland.

It'll never happen again in a million years.

Yes, I know. That's right, Elsa.

It's nobody's fault.

I hate this place.

Why?

Just tell me why, that's all.

The mirrors.

They'll be done before you move in. No problem. Did you see the kitchen?

Oh, it's great.

And the plumbing's great. And the floors don't squeak.

Some paint, that polish.

And we'll have what you've always wanted.

Our own little love.

Mr. Miley, you've rented yourself a house.

I'm glad.

I know you'll both be very happy here.

Don't I have anything to say about it?

Don't I?

We're going to start a new life here.

Both of us.

Now, come on.

Tell me something, Mr. Miley.

Is this place for sale?

The owner doesn't want to sell. He lives up in Seattle. A retired hardware man

named Wilson came here about four or five years ago for his health.

He and his wife had a little trouble, and she moved out and went to live in

Texas. Texas!

Now that's the place!

What about the Wilson?

Oh, he keeps hoping that she'll change her mind and come on back to him.

That's why he keeps holding on to this place.

Santa Fe.

I like that.

Maybe he'll change his mind himself.

I'll find out.

Meanwhile, I'll have this railing repaired in the morning.

Oh, never mind. I'll fix it myself. I like to do things like that. Good. You

move in any time after tomorrow.

What's out there, Keith?

What?

What are you looking for?

A new life, baby, for you and me.

Take me away from here.

It's the sand, the rocks, and the sea.

It's like the edge of the world.

There's such a sadness to it, Keith.

And that sound, the sea, it's so mournful.

So lost and lonely.

Like death.

Elsa?

Not what you were yelling about?

Yeah, I wanted you to come up and share it with me.

All right, Keith.

Whatever you say.

Keith? Hmm?

Where were you?

I was waiting for you there on the beach. I thought you'd come.

Did you miss me, honey?

Where were you?

Down the cellar, trying to figure out something about the damp and cold.

Well, when it gets damp and cold.

All for you.

Oh? I know how the coal sticks to your bones, honey.

But I'll figure out something. Cement drainage.

I'll figure out something.

Fix up the weak spots.

Do a little remodeling here and there. And you know what we've got, Elsa?

We've got our own little castle by the sea.

I don't want our own little castle by the sea.

We're still new here.

You'll want it. Let's go home, Keith.

Now.

Honey, we just got here. Besides, I signed a lease.

Look, I want to buy that place.

I've talked to Miley about making a deal.

Makes you feel young to be here, doesn't it?

And I think I... Huh?

What did you say?

Anyway, younger.

It's all yours, babe.

It'll do you good, the sun to keep you warm.

And the sea air for that busted hip of yours?

I'm all mended now, see?

You don't have to repair me.

Oh, you might feel okay, but bones take longer to knit at your age.

Longer than you might think.

Besides, there's no better place than right here to tend to your knitting.

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had a busted hip, honey.

So I had you take a slope before you were ready.

Goaded me into it. I figured you had it made. You're so graceful, so

coordinated.

You know, I take pride in you, Elsa.

When I first laid eyes on you, what went through my mind was that coordination.

Oh, that body coordination.

I once heard of a man who was thin.

And when asked how he saved thin, the thin man said, I...

Think, then.

That's what he said.

Is that how you plan to keep the years away, Keith?

Think them away?

Think young? Is that the motto on your wall?

You know what you are, honey? You're a nut.

You're my own private little nut in my own private little castle by the sea.

But you tell little, uh...

What's -her -name, you were going to be here?

Huh?

Tell who what.

You know, little what's -her -name.

I think they call her a typist.

Oh, we've got them things running around underfoot by the dozen.

But not like this little thing, huh?

Not like little what's -her -name.

You're going to like it here.

I promise you.

You're gonna love it here.

Come

here.

Just come here.

I'll fix it Don't cry

Thanks, sweetie.

Will you stop for a minute?

What can I do for you?

You're really going to do it? Yes, I really am. I'm going to stay right here.

We're going to stay right here.

You know what?

I don't understand you. What did you buy the cement for if we're not going to

stay in the house?

What am I paving the cellar for, the next tenant?

I bought the cement because you told me to buy the cement.

Mr. Miley told me the owner always wanted to pave the cellar. And he said

I've paved it, he'd deduct it from the rent.

Besides, it's good exercise. It's bending, moving around.

If paving the cellar is what you want, then pave it. But I want to get out.

Honey. There's something wrong with this house. I lie awake at night and I can

feel it.

That's right.

It's damp.

Now, look.

I'm going to dig a drainage ditch. Then I'm going to pay... There is something

wrong with this house. Something we don't know about.

Keith, let's find an excuse to break the lease.

All right, I'll do it.

And you know how?

I'll write the owner's wife.

What's his name?

Wilson. Wilson.

I'll write Mrs. Wilson and I'll find out about this house. And if there is

something we don't know about, it'll be an excuse to break the lease.

You know what you ought to do?

Get out on the beach.

Get out in the sun. Take a swim. Relax.

Oh, honey.

What makes you so nervous, huh?

Now go ahead.

Take a swim. The surf is marvelous today.

All right.

But I am going to frighten Mrs. Wilson.

You go right ahead.

So you've started.

Want some lunch?

How come?

I was going to take a little ride.

Where? Oh, just feel like taking a little ride, that's all.

Want me to go along?

How was the swim?

Chilly.

I saw you talking to someone.

Pretty girl.

We chatted.

About what?

Woman talk.

That's good.

You've made a friend.

Well, we just chatted for a bit, that's all.

Well, I'm going to wash up and take that ride.

Okay, dear.

Have fun.

How do you like the house?

I still love it. It's great.

Well, your wife still doesn't. How do you know?

I just had a call from her.

Reba, didn't I just have a call from Mrs. Hollins?

Reba could hear her yelling at me over there.

Yelling about what?

Oh, she wanted Mrs.

Wilson's address.

You know, Mrs. Wilson, the owner's wife.

And when I told her I didn't have it, Reba... You should have heard her, Mrs.

Hollins, telling me what I don't know about running a real estate office.

Now, what can I do for you?

I want to buy that house.

It's a lovely house.

And I told you I wanted to buy it when I first moved in. Now, what have you done

about it?

I've been in touch with Mr. Wilson all the time.

I told him you wanted to buy his house as per your instruction.

And Mr. Marley, what was Mr.

Wilson's reaction to that?

I'm awaiting his pleasure.

That's what you're doing now, huh?

Yes, sir.

Well, get on the phone and tell Mr. Wilson I'm waiting, too.

Owning that house is getting to be quite a thing with you, isn't it? That's

right. The sooner, the better.

I'll be in touch.

Make sure of it.

Keith? Hmm?

That's a big hole.

Uh -huh.

What do you need such a big one for?

Who's the one who's always complaining about the damp?

You or me?

That big hole's gonna fix it, huh?

Uh -huh. How?

Look, honey.

It's basic.

It's got to do with hydraulics and physics, the principles of drainage.

You wouldn't understand.

Keith? Let me ask you something.

What?

Do you think you're ever going to give up being a 20 -year -old or trying to

What are you talking about?

Have you been behaving?

Listen, you know what you want to do?

Let sleeping dogs lie.

That ought to be your motto. Let sleeping... I was just asking a

that's all. I've been behaving.

No more running around after pretty young things.

No more trying to prove...

If everybody gets older, why so frantic? Why?

You're in the way.

Yeah, I know.

You know, I've got to tell you something, Elsa.

Right to your face.

Sometimes you get on my nerves.

Yes, I know.

It's got to stop.

Take my word for it.

It is now time to forward you to our substations. But I shall clearly stamp

to be returned in a few moments.

Having fun, young man?

Yep. At 3 ,500 RPM, those stars really fly by, don't they, honey? You should

have stuck your head out of the window and noticed.

Where are we?

We're here.

That's where we are. We're here.

Now, come on, baby.

Where are we?

There's music and dancing and wine in there, honey. It's the scene. It's great

for mending hips.

Now, come on.

I thought we were going to have some Chinese food and then a movie.

Well, I didn't say anything about an early dinner, did I? Look, we'll have

for an hour. Then we'll have dinner.

Are you coming with me or do I go in alone?

Not alone, please.

Never alone.

Never seen anything like this. Do you believe it?

No.

There's the girl I saw at the beach.

She's lovely.

What I want.

What I really want.

What I'm sure is sitting here wants.

Key.

Yeah, baby?

It may be.

It just very well may be.

I want the same thing.

What are you talking about, baby?

What you were talking about.

How we rid ourselves of each other.

And when.

Me of you and you of me.

Especially the latter.

Sometimes you make my blood boil, baby.

Don't push it. Not now.

I'm having fun.

Look at me when I talk to you.

I'm looking.

Wipe that smirk off your face.

Where'd you learn it?

Watching teenagers at play?

The comic strip?

Where?

Wipe it off.

Doesn't become you, Keith.

Not at your age.

Little old lady lived in a shoe. Had so many traumas, she didn't know what to

do. Anna, hey, Anna, hey, Anna, hey, Anna.

You're showing your age, baby.

The next thing you know, they'll be asking you for your I .D. card.

Take me home.

Sure, after this, after dinner, after the movies, then I'll take you home.

I mean home.

Oh, you mean that dainty, cozy, old folks at home apartment in Philadelphia?

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Do you understand?

Can you understand I love it here?

I love that house.

And the beach.

And the way you're acting.

And with me.

Wipe the tears out of your eyes, baby. They make me look cruel, inconsiderate,

like no gentleman.

When all those worry wrinkles are gone around your eyes.

Is that one worry?

Or is it the finger of time?

Which, Elsa?

Give me the key.

Going to dinner?

Come with me?

No, no, no.

You wanted the keys. Here.

Have fun. Have a real ball. And don't worry about me. I'll get home somehow.

Thank you.

You hear me?

Elsa, why don't you come down and see what I've done?

I've worked hard, honey. You'll be pleased.

Come on down. See what I've done.

Elsa!

I'm here.

What do you want, Keith?

I don't know. I thought... Thought what, Keith?

Well, I thought maybe you're on the beach or maybe you're upstairs and

want to answer me. How do I know what I thought?

Come on down, see what I've done.

So you're finished?

Yep.

Well, you really can't see it from there.

Cold. You're kidding. Listen to the burner going.

It's cold all over the house.

Quite a little engineering job has been done here, don't you think?

Seen one, you've seen them all, I always say.

Oh, come on, honey. There's a lot of muscle ache and backache in there and

stand there.

Don't knock it.

It's going to keep us warm and dry.

You see, I've got it engineered so that all the water, all the seepage you'll

carry right down there... Are you proud?

I mean, are you proud you dug the hole, Keith?

Yeah, I am.

I'm glad for you.

Because you've done it, and there's a great sense of achievement in that.

And now that you've done it...

We can go home.

So you be a good little engineer and fill it right back up again.

Okay, honey.

I'll fill it up.

Do that.

A for achievement.

Thank you.

I can wait.

Well, hello there, Mr. Hollins.

Have a seat.

Did you hear from Mr. Wilson yet?

As a matter of fact, I did. I had a phone call from him last night.

Is that right, Reaper?

In a little while, I was going to run up to your place. What did he say?

You notice that I said your place, Mr. Hollins? No.

Well, I did. Then it's yours if you want it.

Mr. Wilson's agreed to sell for cash.

Seems he's got some legal trouble, counsel... I make out the check to you

him? I suggest you make out the deposit to me.

It'll be placed in escrow pending final decision of the deal.

5 ,000, okay.

Reba, would you give Mr. Hollins a pen?

In a little while, when the forms are made out, I'll run them up to your house

and you and the missus can sign them.

Oh, uh, it'll be in my name.

The missus left me.

Oh? Yes, got down on my knees trying to keep her here, but she wouldn't have any

part of it.

So Elsa left me.

We had quite an argument the other night.

It was pretty bitter.

I don't think we'll ever get together again.

So I'm shipping her luggage back to Philadelphia.

That house, it shakes women up quite a bit. They don't seem to like it.

Maybe that house just doesn't like women.

Now, Mr. Marley?

I'll run the papers up as soon as Reba finishes them.

Wow.

That was the start of something, baby.

Was it?

You'll see.

I will?

You know what I'm going to do with you?

I've got a plan.

Tell me. I'm going to start a reading program.

I'm going to acquaint you with great literature and great music. Mozart.

The Three Bees.

We'll visit galleries.

Painting.

I'm going to open windows for you.

that have never been opened before.

The first time I saw you, oh, maybe a month ago when I was first out

here looking at houses, the first time I saw you, I knew I had a plan for you.

All the things I've ever wanted to tell a woman, I knew I had to tell them to

you.

All the things I know, all the beautiful things, books, music.

In the secret way I feel about things.

I knew I had to teach them to you.

Share them.

Sleep. Kiss.

Keith. Yeah, baby. What about your wife?

Come here, baby.

You remember when I said that was the start of something?

Well, that's what I meant.

The end of something is always the beginning of something else.

What has ended is my wife and me. But what has begun is you and me.

Elsa and I quarreled.

About what?

Oh, about the house was damp.

Was it?

Well, not anymore. That house is snug, baby. 100 % snug.

You'll love it.

After a decent waiting period.

You know what you are?

What?

Wise.

I've been thinking about what you said.

You make me think, you know?

About what?

About the end of something is always the beginning.

That's very wise.

Very, very wise.

Sergeant Bryant out of the sheriff's office.

Officers Ramo and Felton here.

Nice day, huh?

Yeah.

That thing you were doing, boy, I'd kill over on my back.

Something I can do for you, Sergeant?

Yeah, yeah, there is, Mr. Hollins.

Well, we didn't want to break in. We don't have a warrant.

You'll let us in, won't you?

You wouldn't want to stand in the way of the law.

Oh, no, no.

Well,

come on in, fellas.

I do for you, fellas.

Is this the way to the cellar? No, that's the bedroom.

The cellar's over there.

Off the kitchen.

Oh, thanks, Mr. Holland.

It was okay to think.

Sargent. Yeah?

Do you want to tell me how you knew your wife?

Great hat on her shoulder. She told us.

Now, sir.

She told you?

Yeah.

First, we thought it was just her imagination.

Now, you know how women are. They get all worked up.

Well, that's what we thought your wife did at first.

I don't know what you're talking about, Sergeant.

Oh, didn't she tell you?

Oh, you see, she tried to write Mrs. Wilson.

You know, the owner's wife used to live here.

Yeah, I know.

Well, your wife couldn't find any change of address from Mrs. Wilson down at the

post office.

She was supposed to be someplace in Texas, but all her mail was being

to Mr. Wilson up in Seattle, regardless.

Well, so no change of address, so what?

That's just what we said, so what?

Boy, did your wife let us have it.

She said any fool would know that if a woman left her husband, she wouldn't let

him get her mail now, would she?

No, she wouldn't. She'd get it herself.

Well, your wife said that proved that Mrs. Wilson was dead.

That Mr.

Wilson must have killed her and made up a rigmarole.

Oh.

What?

You going to say something, Mr. Holland?

Well, she convinced us.

Yeah, wired Seattle last night. Police questioned Wilson.

He thought we'd already found the body, so he broke down, confessed.

Oh, he killed his wife, all right.

He buried her down there in the cellar.

Good and deep, right next to the furnace.

Gratulate your wife.

Where is she?

Hey, Sergeant.

What do you want, Remo?

Better get down here, Sergeant.

Bring Mr. Hollins with you.

The proceeding was a training film lent to us by Husbands Anonymous, that

society of men who are determined to learn from the mistakes of others.

I've decided to leave my position here.

It's not that it was frightening being around all those dead letters, but some

of them have been dead much too long.

Now for another commercial, followed by a hint of things to come.