All language subtitles for Cougar Club (2007) 1080p

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:43,860 Liberate me, liberate me 2 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:49,140 Liberate me, liberate me... 3 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:55,260 Around the sun 4 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,860 On the run 5 00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:01,260 Nothing can stop me... 6 00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:03,140 You've got your whole life 7 00:01:03,220 --> 00:01:04,380 - ahead of you. - Yeah. 8 00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,660 - People you are still gonna meet. - I know. 9 00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:09,140 Whole college experience still in front of you. 10 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:16,060 - Mmm, you're right. - Mmm. 11 00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:18,420 You promise you're gonna write and call me? 12 00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:20,740 Hogan! Man, what the hell are you doing? 13 00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:22,980 They're already on the Ds. 14 00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:26,300 - Mm-hmm. Shit. - Mmm. 15 00:01:26,340 --> 00:01:28,100 Hello, Professor Goodbey. 16 00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:29,900 Come on. 17 00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:32,620 We gotta go. 18 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,700 Gladys, I'm never gonna forget you. 19 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:37,700 - You're so hot. - No no no. 20 00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:39,100 All right. Sorry. 21 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,540 - I love you. - I love you, Gladys. 22 00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:42,940 Rebecca Gephardt. 23 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,420 Indigo Goldstein. 24 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,780 Thank you very much, sir. 25 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:53,660 Liberate me... 26 00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:55,780 Dag Griffiths. 27 00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:57,660 Well done. 28 00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,660 - Hi! - Hey. 29 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,620 - Oh, lip gloss. - Chris Grizma, magna cum laude. 30 00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:04,220 Hey, where were you? 31 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:06,460 We were supposed to take pictures before the ceremony! 32 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,580 - Moffy Gurner. - I know. Uh... um... 33 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:12,260 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 34 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,220 - Cindy Guilley. - Here. 35 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,860 Open it and put it on. 36 00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:19,140 Oh my God. That is so sweet, Spence. 37 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,900 - Rebecca Hartowicz. - Oh. 38 00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:23,420 - Oh... - Hello, Rebecca. 39 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,660 Let me see it. 40 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:28,540 - Oh... - That's nice. 41 00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:30,340 Fuck off, Hogan! 42 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:33,700 - Marshall Hogan lll. - That is my name. I must go. 43 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,700 Shit, I think I caught my dress. Did I rip something? 44 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,740 Oh. 45 00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,060 You're such an ingrate, Hogan! 46 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:42,380 Spencey, please meet me in the quad 47 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,980 after the ceremony for pictures with my family, okay? 48 00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,860 This is the photo that will define us for the rest of our lives-- 49 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,980 where we met and fell in love. 50 00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:56,140 Spencer Holmes, with honors. 51 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:58,700 Okay, I'll see you there. I love you. 52 00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:06,060 Mmm... 53 00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:13,100 Congratulations. 54 00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,820 Ladies and gentlemen, meet our business class graduates. 55 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,420 It's just not the same as standing in the quad 56 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,660 - in our cap and gown. - Oh, I'm sorry, 57 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,700 - but I had to take Hogan home. - Mmm. 58 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,020 You know he has a problem dumping in public bathrooms. 59 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:38,100 - Nice image, thanks. - Okay, look. 60 00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:43,140 We have a photo in front of my childhood tree house 61 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:45,820 I built when I was nine. Isn't that good enough? 62 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:50,260 It's just not the same. 63 00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:52,900 - Let's go get a drink. - Okay. 64 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,740 Hey, can I get a beer 65 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,900 and a shot of tequila and a-- 66 00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:04,140 a thumb in the ass for my girlfriend? 67 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,180 Look, all our problems revolve 68 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:13,020 around your geriatric-loving loser creep of a friend. 69 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,900 And as soon as you outgrow him, the sooner you'll be 70 00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:18,620 - to reaching your potential. - Just enough with Hogan, please. 71 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,860 No. No, Spencey. If you spend the rest of your life 72 00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:22,860 associating yourself with that vermin, 73 00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:24,700 you will become that vermin. 74 00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:26,740 Spencey-- hey, I love you, 75 00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:28,700 I just want what's best for you. 76 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:30,620 - I love you too. You know-- - Mmm... 77 00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,740 Oh my God. I'll be right back. 78 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,780 Just so you know, he will not be in our wedding. 79 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,700 What is that young man doing out there with Edith? 80 00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:49,540 I never saw anybody dance like that. 81 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,580 Hey, are you sure they're dancing? 82 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,220 If they're not, he owes me some fucking money! 83 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,460 - Hogan, what the hell are you doing? - Spence! 84 00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:02,220 - I'd like you to meet Edith Birnbaum. - Spence! 85 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:06,460 Hello. Marshall here says I'm the hottest chick at the party. 86 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,700 - What do you think? - Yeah. 87 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:10,460 - Whoo! - Hogan, I'm sorry. 88 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,380 - I gotta borrow him for one minute. - Ooh. 89 00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:15,020 - One second, we'll be right back. - What? 90 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:16,860 Do you really think it's wise to get all grindy 91 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,620 with our future boss's wife? 92 00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,460 Dude, she is so fucking fine and you know it! 93 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,260 Look at that little tush. Look at her tushy. 94 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:26,620 - I don't understand you. - Hey, how's the graduation boy doing? 95 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,540 Hey, all right. 96 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,140 Hey, thanks-- thanks for the party, Dad. 97 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:32,220 Yeah, my pleasure, son. My pleasure. 98 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,980 Yeah, Dad, thank you. You really outdid yourself. 99 00:05:35,340 --> 00:05:37,580 Just remember to mention Stan Birnbaum in your speech today. 100 00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:39,460 The guy never leaves his frigging hospital. 101 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,860 He came out for your graduation because he believes in you, son. 102 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,300 We'll get you at Yale Law in no time. 103 00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:45,300 Stan, it's my boy right here! Here he is! 104 00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:49,140 Stan. Nobody is more connected to Yale Law than Stan Birnbaum. 105 00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:51,620 Thank you for putting in a good word for me, by the way. 106 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,740 Mrs. Holmes is responsible for that, Marshall. 107 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,900 Maybe you should talk to her. 108 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,020 Don't forget, Spence. 109 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:03,900 Guess I lost that bet we had two years ago. 110 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:07,100 - What-- what bet? - I bet you wouldn't graduate. 111 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:09,220 Oh, yeah? Oh. 112 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,340 - Okay. - Now I have to show you my tits. 113 00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:14,780 - Really? That's so great! - Mm-hmm. 114 00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:16,540 - Excuse me. - Do you wanna touch them? 115 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:19,060 Yes. Oh! 116 00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:21,500 Hi, sweet-- oh, hello. Who's this pretty thing? 117 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:22,820 Casey Dixon. 118 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:25,460 Oh, aren't you just the most charming girl? 119 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,660 It's nice to see you two getting along so well. 120 00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:29,580 Spencey, cake in 10 minutes. 121 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:33,100 Thanks, Mom. Ahem, excuse me. 122 00:06:35,260 --> 00:06:37,820 - Where's Hogan? - Uh... 123 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:41,020 I don't know. 124 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,700 Thank you all for being here today. 125 00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:46,500 First, I'd like to take this opportunity 126 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:50,220 to thank my parents for all the love and support they've given me. 127 00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:53,980 I couldn't be more blessed. 128 00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:56,620 I would also like to thank my girlfriend Amanda 129 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,980 - for all the lov-- - Oh. Whoo-hoo! 130 00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:02,620 I'll begin work next week 131 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:05,660 at Birnbaum, Arthur, Hollace, Craft & Steel. 132 00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,940 Uh, that's Birnbaum, Hollace, 133 00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:10,260 Arthur, Craft & Steel. 134 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,420 I'm sorry. I should probably learn that. 135 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,900 In any case, I am very grateful to you, Mr. Birnbaum, 136 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:18,780 and I look forward to working for you and learning a great deal. 137 00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:21,380 What can I say? 138 00:07:21,460 --> 00:07:24,380 I'm a very lucky man. 139 00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:34,660 Eww. 140 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:37,660 - Oh my God. - Busted. 141 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:40,260 Uh... 142 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:42,620 Sorry. 143 00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,900 - Well... - You okay? 144 00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:01,180 ...I don't think I ever actually begged a man before today. 145 00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:03,060 Well, what did Mr. Birnbaum say? 146 00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,580 I'm sorry, Spence, but, uh... 147 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,660 he will no longer require your services at his firm. 148 00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:16,220 What about me? Would he require my services? 149 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,500 Dad! Dad. 150 00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:37,380 You know what, Dad? It's okay, I got accepted into Baker. 151 00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:38,860 - Maybe I should-- - Nonsense! 152 00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:40,340 No one's heard of Baker! 153 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,780 We are gonna solve this one. 154 00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,020 - Mm-hmm. - There's a man at the club. 155 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,860 - Oh. - Barry Stack is his name. 156 00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:49,660 - He's an 18-holer, fine man. - Uh-huh. Oh... Oh! 157 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,180 A Yalie and he's head of the biggest divorce firm in LA. 158 00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:54,700 - See? - Not as connected as Birnbaum, 159 00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:57,420 but that's okay. I'll make a call on your behalf. 160 00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,900 - Thanks, Dad. - Yeah. 161 00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:02,700 What about Marshall? 162 00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:05,820 Well, he's practically family, Fred. 163 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,980 And I'm sure he's very sorry for what happened, aren't you, dear? 164 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:11,500 Yes, I am. I really-- I truly am, ma'am-- Mom. 165 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:14,820 Come on, Dad. Give him another chance. 166 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,100 - Fine. - Yes. 167 00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:22,020 - Oh. - Fine fine fine. If he screws this up, 168 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,500 - he's our punter this month. - No problem. 169 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:27,860 And for you, son, I would be disappointed beyond repair. 170 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,740 - Dad. - Oh! 171 00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,820 Excuse me. 172 00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:36,900 - Yes, sir. - Oh... 173 00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:50,500 I'll try Mr. Stack again, all right? 174 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,660 Oh, nice. 175 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:57,020 Oh... nice. 176 00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,660 Beautiful. 177 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,060 Good. Good good good. 178 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,300 Mr. Stack, your interview is here. 179 00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:04,100 I'm coming. 180 00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,020 - He'll be right out. - Thank you. 181 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,540 Thanks. 182 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:13,540 You look so... refreshing today. 183 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:15,820 And the flower is a very sweet touch. 184 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,140 You look lovely. 185 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,380 Stop. 186 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,460 Oh! 187 00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:34,220 You're so fucking good-looking. 188 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:39,580 Ahh. 189 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:51,780 - What was that? - I don't know. 190 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,580 Why the hell are you two just sitting there? 191 00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,900 Us? 192 00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:12,300 - Did you pass the bar yet? - Haven't been to law school yet, sir. 193 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,540 "Oh, we haven't been to law school yet, sir." 194 00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:17,380 So you're just a couple of shit turds. 195 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,740 - Excuse me? - Yes, sir, we are. 196 00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:22,780 - Do you shit turds wanna work here? - Yes, sir. 197 00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:25,500 Well, then, why am l... 198 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,980 Iooking for my ball and you're just sitting in there?! 199 00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,660 And you! 200 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:37,220 Those plants-- they need dusting. 201 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:40,340 - Plants? - Uh, dusting? 202 00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:42,780 Good. Good good good. 203 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,700 You're hired, you're hired, you're all fucking hired! 204 00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:47,900 He forgets sometimes 205 00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:50,260 he hired me over 15 years ago. 206 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,060 Oh. 207 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,380 - Is that Mr. Stack? - Oh, no. That was Mr. Archibald. 208 00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,780 But don't worry, he has hiring and firing privileges too. 209 00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:01,460 I'll show you where we keep the plant maintenance kit. 210 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:05,340 Don't they have plant maintenance people for stuff like that? 211 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,660 Oops. They only come once a week. 212 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:10,060 Mr. Archibald likes it done twice. 213 00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:13,140 It's okay. Once you make partner 214 00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:15,100 you won't have to do it anymore. 215 00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:18,900 Good morning, Angelenos. 216 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,220 It's gonna be a hot, 217 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,420 muggy one out there today, busting up to the century mark. 218 00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:25,860 And on to the news. The stock market is up 12 points 219 00:12:25,940 --> 00:12:29,660 and, in sports, the LA Cougars won the WABA Championship 220 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,580 by 16 points. 221 00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:34,620 And in entertainment news, it says here a '60s sex symbol... 222 00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,940 Spence, would you get that? 223 00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:39,860 ...on Pacific Coast Highway. That's right, that's what it says. 224 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,620 You bar-flunking freak! 225 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,940 Where in the hell did you get these numbers? 226 00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,900 I don't know. 227 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,300 It's that Karl guy. 228 00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:56,220 You know what I heard? 229 00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:59,100 The poor bastard fucks the file cabinets to blow off steam. 230 00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:01,660 You butt-licker! 231 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:05,820 What part of your maggot-rotten brain shit out these numbers? 232 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,500 - Well, obviously, I made a mistake. - Well, obviously. 233 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:12,460 And now Sarah Tucker's alimony is on the line! 234 00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:14,700 Better fix it-- best piece of ass I've ever had. 235 00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:17,660 Did you hear that? 236 00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,940 The best piece of ass he's ever had. 237 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,980 Who brought you in here, anyway? 238 00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:25,340 Well, my Uncle William is a good friend of Mr. Conrad. 239 00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:28,900 Well, that's not gonna save you when you flunk the bar next month, 240 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,900 because next month you're gonna be good and fired. 241 00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:34,740 - I hope not. - Good and fired! 242 00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:39,660 Karl, do you need to use the bathroom or did you already shit in your pants? 243 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,780 I might have dripped a little, but, umm-- 244 00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:46,500 It wasn't a real question, you taint-licking hemorrhoid. 245 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:51,100 These guys are fuckers. 246 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:56,260 I gotta go get the file boxes. 247 00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:00,100 Loosen up, would you? 248 00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:27,100 Hi. 249 00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:32,260 - Are you gay? - What? 250 00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:34,260 No. 251 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,820 No... 252 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,780 Whoa, big fella. Down. 253 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:40,300 It's not polite to point in the office. 254 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,500 Gonna plant that mushroom? 255 00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:46,420 A little young for me, but-- oh, for you... 256 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:51,580 I have-- I have to get the file boxes. 257 00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,700 - Okay. - Okay. Take care of some business 258 00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:55,500 - while you're in there. - Okay. 259 00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:57,340 I'm gonna push out a little turtle head. 260 00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:59,060 - I'll meet you back in there. - All right. 261 00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:02,300 Hey hey hey! You two-- shit-turd guys-- 262 00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:06,140 get in here and get the jelly out of my toes. 263 00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:09,020 - Uh... - Mmm, mmm. 264 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:11,700 I want you to really get in there-- under the nail. 265 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,620 And give us a nice trim while you're down there. 266 00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:19,740 What's going on with Doreen Wyes? 267 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:23,020 - I gave you that lead a week ago. - I'm on it, I'm sending an employee 268 00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:25,020 over to Formosa Wednesday at 6:00, 269 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,580 'cause that's where her husband meets his girlfriend. 270 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,900 Took you a fucking week to figure that out?! 271 00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:32,500 There was some confusion about which restaurant. 272 00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:35,380 Whatever. Send someone fucking good this time. 273 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:41,340 - Ouch! - Sorry. Sorry. 274 00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:44,780 I-- I didn't know this was part of your body. 275 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:51,260 Oh, that's good, that's good. That's good, that's good. 276 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,460 Oh... 277 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,900 Uh, anything else, sir? 278 00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:59,100 Yeah yeah, there is. 279 00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:02,380 I got to this little piece of dried-up shit turd 280 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:05,180 that needs to be pulled out of my ass. 281 00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:08,020 Come on. 282 00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:10,660 I'm kidding you! 283 00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:15,660 Get out. 284 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,900 Dude, these lawyers... 285 00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,860 are a bunch of sweaty jackals, 286 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,500 feeding off of the weak and sick 287 00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,460 and injured little gazelles and shit. 288 00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:32,460 I mean, do you really want one of these... scavengers 289 00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,260 - referring you to Yale? - Right now, 290 00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:37,340 it's the best contact I have, 291 00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:41,180 but there's no reason you should stay here. 292 00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:43,180 Where the hell am I gonna go? 293 00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:45,660 Go wherever you want. 294 00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:49,980 Spence, now you know I can't stand 295 00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,700 anyone that isn't a hot older woman or you. 296 00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:55,180 So wherever you go, I follow. 297 00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,300 This may sound a little weak, lame, 298 00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,660 - even a little gay to some people... - Yeah. 299 00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:02,020 ...but fuck it. I know what I like. 300 00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:05,700 - Hogan. - All right. 301 00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,300 Let's get you in Yale. 302 00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,900 Karl! 303 00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:13,900 Out of my office, butt-licker! 304 00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,420 Hey, shit turd! 305 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:23,580 Grab your shit-turd friend and get in here. 306 00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,540 Hogan! 307 00:17:40,980 --> 00:17:42,460 Hey! 308 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,700 Silver BMW 535-- it's in the parking lot 309 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,940 in the golf club in Bel Air. Here's the license plate. 310 00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:58,380 Find it and slash the tires. 311 00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,700 Go. Now. 312 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,580 Isn't that illegal? 313 00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,540 Okay. No, I know that it's illegal, 314 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,780 but why would you want us to do something illegal? 315 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,020 My guess would be 316 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,500 that the driver has an afternoon court appearance 317 00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:17,460 that if he were to miss 318 00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:20,060 would cause him to severely fall out of favor with the judge, 319 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:23,300 considering that it's probably over custody 320 00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:26,180 or some sticky issue like that. The judge will look more favorably 321 00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:30,860 on the party that is actually in the courtroom standing in front of him. 322 00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,380 Very good, shit-turd's friend. 323 00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:38,100 Now, when you're done with that, you deliver these papers to my wife. 324 00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,660 She's at some bake sale with her girlfriends. 325 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:43,340 The address is on the envelope. Tell her she can have her divorce 326 00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:45,700 as long as she understands that she's now... 327 00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:48,100 totally fucked. Tell her that-- 328 00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:50,580 - verbatim. - Yes, sir. 329 00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:52,740 You're still here. Why? 330 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,980 Dude, these guys make so much fucking bank here. 331 00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:11,460 - Wow. - I'm quitting my job. 332 00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:13,420 Hey, assholes. 333 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,820 I've been rotting here for five minutes. 334 00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:20,340 I don't wanna put you out or anything, but do you mind fetching my car?! 335 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:23,300 "Studman." Studman! 336 00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:25,220 Of course, we help you. 337 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,180 - I run for studs. - What do we do? 338 00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:30,460 I don't know. A couple of things feel good to me. 339 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,380 Okay, I go fast for you now. 340 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,500 A couple jerk-off valet parkers. 341 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:36,460 So listen, I changed at the country club 342 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,580 and I'll be in court within the hour. 343 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,620 What the fuck are you looking at? 344 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,300 Que? 345 00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:45,060 Just some valet puke giving me the stinkeye. 346 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,700 Guy's a moron. 347 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:49,620 So listen, wrap up the Chicago deal, let's get to Vegas. 348 00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:52,620 Yeah, I've got the four tee times and strippers lined up. 349 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,340 No, I'm not bringing my wife. What are you talking about? 350 00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:57,300 She starting to take me to the cleaners in this divorce. 351 00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:59,420 No, I'm thinking of taking that cute little court reporter 352 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,420 from the Stony case. She was pretty good orally, 353 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,140 but I tell you... 354 00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,660 ...she had a snatch the size of the Lincoln Tunnel. 355 00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:08,380 It's like fucking a warm bucket of water. 356 00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:10,420 No, but I'll give you five... 357 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,940 Wha-- what the fuck? 358 00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:17,060 It's a little sticky 359 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:19,020 coming out of second, but other than that-- 360 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,580 I'm gonna kick your face in! 361 00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:22,780 Hogan, holy shit, man! Come on, let's go! 362 00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:24,700 - Come on, go go go go go! - Ah! 363 00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:26,860 You son of a bitch! 364 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,540 That was crazy, Hogan. 365 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,340 I think maybe you took that one a little too far, huh? 366 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:35,860 What? You have job, you do it right. 367 00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:37,340 - Okay. - Huh? 368 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,980 This is it. 369 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,780 Whoa. 370 00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:42,940 Gotta work on your accent, by the way. 371 00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,860 - Really? - It was terrible. 372 00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:47,180 I told you to prepare, you're not-- you're not getting prepared. 373 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,620 - Weird, I thought I was pretty good. - You almost blew it. 374 00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,220 Hmm. 375 00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:57,220 Come in. 376 00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:07,620 I'm sure you will enjoy these. 377 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,860 They come in all different kinds. 378 00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:11,980 They're like Easter eggs. 379 00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:14,700 And it will go with anything you're wearing... 380 00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:17,500 or not wearing. 381 00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,860 This one, my little darlings, is called "The Fire Alarm." 382 00:21:20,940 --> 00:21:24,220 And trust me, where your orgasms are concerned-- 383 00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:27,180 all of you-- this one is the four-alarm fire 384 00:21:27,260 --> 00:21:29,220 that you have been begging for. 385 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,900 Look at it. Isn't it cute? 386 00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:34,580 Feliney metropolitanis. 387 00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:35,740 What? 388 00:21:35,820 --> 00:21:37,940 Cougars. Everywhere. 389 00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:40,860 Oh my God, look at the variety. 390 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:44,700 Oh my, that's a Rolls-Royce, very hard to nab. 391 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,180 ...spankings! 392 00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:48,540 There's some Cadillacs, a little bit easier. 393 00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:50,180 Oh my God, a Trans Am. 394 00:21:50,260 --> 00:21:53,340 Not exactly my flavor, but definitely has appeal. 395 00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:55,780 Oh my God. My personal favorite, 396 00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:59,620 a Silver Fox. Oh, so many possibilities in one sitting. 397 00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:00,780 Down. 398 00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:03,260 Thank you very much. 399 00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:05,660 We'll have some refreshments. 400 00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:11,820 This is a private party, 401 00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:15,380 but what can I do for you two hunky hunks? 402 00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:19,580 We are Spence Holmes and Marshall Hogan lll, 403 00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:23,220 and we're looking for a Daniela Stack. 404 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,540 And what is this regarding? 405 00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:28,380 Well, we work for her husband and... 406 00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:31,260 he wanted us to... 407 00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:32,860 give her this. 408 00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:36,020 Oh. Oh, then you work for my husband too. 409 00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:37,660 I'm Teddy Archibald. 410 00:22:37,740 --> 00:22:41,020 - No way. - No way. 411 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,020 So... 412 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:45,940 what exactly goes on at this sort of party? 413 00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:48,700 Well, we're just looking to spice up our libidos a little bit. 414 00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,940 Aha. Yeah, I see. I see. 415 00:22:51,020 --> 00:22:54,300 Marshall! What a pleasant surprise! 416 00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,820 Oh, hey. 417 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,180 Oh. 418 00:22:57,260 --> 00:23:00,780 Ladies, meet Marshall Hogan lll. 419 00:23:00,860 --> 00:23:03,660 Our spectacular afternoon together 420 00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:06,020 became my inspiration 421 00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,540 for finding Lulu here 422 00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:10,860 and her "Art of Pleasure" schooling. 423 00:23:10,940 --> 00:23:12,900 Praise the clitoris, Edith. 424 00:23:12,980 --> 00:23:14,500 Yes! 425 00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:17,980 I came alive under Mr. Hogan's tutelage, 426 00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:19,820 and my life's mission 427 00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,340 is to help you experience 428 00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:24,220 an awakening such as mine. 429 00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:27,620 Aside from handling me so expertly, 430 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:30,940 he suggested I switch to the Vivelle Dot 431 00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:33,180 hormone replacement therapy. 432 00:23:33,260 --> 00:23:34,940 And I must say 433 00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:37,940 it's worked wonders. 434 00:23:38,020 --> 00:23:39,900 Wonders! 435 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,460 Whoo! 436 00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:46,180 Marshall. 437 00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:49,580 Perhaps you and your friend 438 00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:52,180 can help us out? 439 00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:55,420 Oh, anything. 440 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,940 Well, maybe... 441 00:23:58,020 --> 00:24:00,980 you could gather a group of your friends 442 00:24:01,060 --> 00:24:03,660 who enjoy doing what you enjoy doing, 443 00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:07,580 and we could connect them 444 00:24:07,660 --> 00:24:09,740 with my friends 445 00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:12,980 who enjoy doing what I enjoy doing. 446 00:24:21,940 --> 00:24:24,260 Sounds like the cougars need their prey. 447 00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:25,940 Ooh, well said. 448 00:24:26,020 --> 00:24:27,780 We'll be in touch. 449 00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:29,900 Now, ladies, 450 00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:32,100 Lulu will take your orders here. 451 00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,460 Grab a clipboard. 452 00:24:36,180 --> 00:24:38,140 Cindy Conrad, 453 00:24:38,220 --> 00:24:40,460 Iet me formally introduce you 454 00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:40,540 to Spence Holmes and Marshall Hogan. 455 00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:42,620 To Spence Holmes and Marshall Hogan. 456 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:42,700 They work for the firm. 457 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:44,660 They work for the firm. 458 00:24:44,740 --> 00:24:44,740 Ah. So you know that ass-waxing prick that I'm married to. 459 00:24:44,740 --> 00:24:47,580 Ah. So you know that ass-waxing prick that I'm married to. 460 00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:49,500 Have you seen Daniela around? 461 00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:51,060 Have you seen Daniela around? 462 00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:51,140 They have something for her. 463 00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,340 They have something for her. 464 00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:53,420 Oh yeah, I dragged her here. She's inside somewhere. 465 00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:55,820 Oh yeah, I dragged her here. She's inside somewhere. 466 00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:55,900 Mmm, happy birthday to me. 467 00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:58,620 Mmm, happy birthday to me. 468 00:24:58,660 --> 00:25:02,940 If you want, I could give the papers to Daniela. 469 00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:05,780 That's okay, Teddy. I'll take them. 470 00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,460 Oops. 471 00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:26,220 I assume he finally signed my divorce papers? 472 00:25:26,300 --> 00:25:29,340 Yeah, um... 473 00:25:29,420 --> 00:25:31,980 and he-- he also said-- 474 00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:34,260 he said he wanted us to say... 475 00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:37,740 well, 'cause he wanted to-- 476 00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:39,420 Hello, Marshall Hogan lll. 477 00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:41,940 It's nice to see you again. And may I say 478 00:25:42,020 --> 00:25:44,580 you deserve a future of lasting happiness and peace? 479 00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:46,540 And may I also say you've probably never 480 00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:48,380 Iooked or felt better in your life, 481 00:25:48,460 --> 00:25:49,700 am I right? 482 00:25:49,780 --> 00:25:52,300 Daniela Stack, 483 00:25:52,380 --> 00:25:55,020 this is my best friend, Spencer Holmes. 484 00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:56,940 Hi. 485 00:25:57,020 --> 00:25:59,180 Daniela Darren now. 486 00:25:59,260 --> 00:26:00,620 Nice to meet you. 487 00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:03,140 Hi. 488 00:26:03,220 --> 00:26:06,260 Our job is done here, 489 00:26:06,340 --> 00:26:10,700 and we hope to see you again. 490 00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:13,260 I hope so. 491 00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:15,140 Hi. 492 00:26:16,660 --> 00:26:18,540 Stop saying hi. 493 00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:21,820 - Hi. - You're dehydrated. 494 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,780 Bye. 495 00:26:26,780 --> 00:26:28,300 Hi. 496 00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:37,740 I mean, 497 00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:42,260 she just looked right at me and said, 498 00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:44,740 "l hope so." 499 00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:47,740 Oh my God. What am I gonna do? 500 00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:49,260 You know what you're gonna do? 501 00:26:49,340 --> 00:26:51,180 Whatever the fuck you want. 502 00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:53,300 Now, you want to be with this woman, be with this woman. 503 00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:55,620 Be with her and Amanda, who cares? Be with all of 'em. 504 00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:57,780 Yeah, Stack too. Fuck him... 505 00:26:57,860 --> 00:26:59,740 good and hard, right up the ass. 506 00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:01,220 Just fuckin' do what you want. 507 00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:03,140 - I tell you what else you're gonna do. - What? 508 00:27:03,220 --> 00:27:04,700 This Edith thing. 509 00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:07,340 Dude, right now my whole life revolves around Yale Law. 510 00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:09,220 I know, and you're going to Yale Law. 511 00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:10,820 Okay, I have no doubt about that. 512 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,540 But that's, like, the future. I'm talking now, 513 00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:16,300 - and you're doing this Edith thing. - What are you talking about? 514 00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:17,820 Edith! 515 00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:19,620 Edith and the cougars! 516 00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:21,500 What? 517 00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:25,380 Wait, you want us to charge them to have sex with us? 518 00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:27,060 No. 519 00:27:27,140 --> 00:27:28,860 No. 520 00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:33,420 We charge our friends to have sex with them. 521 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:34,900 - All right. - You see? 522 00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:37,180 Now listen. We start a little country club, okay? 523 00:27:37,260 --> 00:27:39,420 A "Cougar Club," if you will, right? 524 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:42,100 And we charge membership fees and shit like that. 525 00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:44,260 - Is that legal? - Fuck it-- yes! 526 00:27:44,340 --> 00:27:46,820 I don't know. Who cares? 527 00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:49,020 I care! I have to. 528 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:52,100 I, uh, no. 529 00:27:52,180 --> 00:27:53,980 - No no no no no, I can't do it. - Oh... 530 00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:56,700 - "Cougar Club." - Oh come, Spence, would you stop 531 00:27:56,780 --> 00:27:58,780 saying no to everything? 532 00:27:58,860 --> 00:28:01,860 Do you not get bored of that? Say "yes." 533 00:28:01,940 --> 00:28:04,820 Yes, 'cause it feels so good. 534 00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:08,580 Yes, because you've never taken a risk in your life, my friend. 535 00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:10,860 Yes, because Daniela Darren said, 536 00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:13,060 "l hope so"! 537 00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:15,580 Yes, because Edith Birnbaum fucking demands it. 538 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:17,980 "Supply us nice, horny cougars 539 00:28:18,060 --> 00:28:21,340 with nice, horny young prey." 540 00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:24,380 Aw, shit. Why can't I ever say yes to you? 541 00:28:24,460 --> 00:28:29,020 Because sometimes Spencey says "no" when he means "yes." 542 00:28:29,060 --> 00:28:31,260 Thank you, Mom. 543 00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:33,180 Thanks, Mom. 544 00:28:33,260 --> 00:28:35,380 Okay, well... night. 545 00:28:35,460 --> 00:28:37,380 - Good night. - Good night. 546 00:28:37,460 --> 00:28:39,900 Mmm! 547 00:28:43,060 --> 00:28:45,660 "Because sometimes Spencey says 'no' when he means 'yes."' 548 00:28:45,740 --> 00:28:48,860 - That was a fucking omen. - Okay okay, shut up. 549 00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:51,940 For once in your life, would you do something just for you? 550 00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:56,020 Say what you really want to say. 551 00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:59,020 How will it work? 552 00:29:00,060 --> 00:29:02,460 We'll target 100 guys to start. 553 00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:05,540 That first group will pay $500 for the first year to join, 554 00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:07,900 and any members after that will pay $1,000. 555 00:29:07,940 --> 00:29:11,620 They'll have direct access of all our cougar-sponsored events. 556 00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:15,620 Now that includes access to profiles, phone numbers-- whole thing. 557 00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:18,020 And on the women's side, Edith will be out in the wild 558 00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:22,180 gathering our hunters, marking them with the gold Cougar Club necklace. 559 00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:25,220 All of our picks will be those who strive to be with 560 00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:28,100 and who embrace the older woman, or the cougar. 561 00:29:28,180 --> 00:29:32,380 And finally, we'll save room for our one "must join." 562 00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:36,140 You tell me when, okay? You tell me when! 563 00:29:36,220 --> 00:29:39,420 You-you tell me when. 564 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:42,540 Want a whole dance, do ya? 565 00:29:42,620 --> 00:29:44,620 You want a whole d-- 566 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:47,300 ahh! You're looking right at me. 567 00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:52,500 Karl? Karl, Karl. 568 00:29:55,620 --> 00:29:57,820 How long has this disaster been going on, man? 569 00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:00,220 - Too long. - Mmm. 570 00:30:00,260 --> 00:30:02,500 We're concerned, Karl. 571 00:30:02,580 --> 00:30:05,460 Yeah. And we-- we understand your need here. 572 00:30:05,540 --> 00:30:08,780 We do, it's just maybe you and your little plastic friend 573 00:30:08,860 --> 00:30:11,100 would like to bang something other than the files? 574 00:30:11,140 --> 00:30:12,220 Like what? 575 00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:13,660 - Like a woman... - Yeah. 576 00:30:13,740 --> 00:30:14,900 ...for God's sakes. 577 00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:18,100 Yeah right. 578 00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:20,300 Not just any woman-- no. 579 00:30:20,380 --> 00:30:22,340 Larry Archibald's woman. 580 00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:25,820 - His mistress? - No, dude, his wife. 581 00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:28,620 We're starting a cougar club 582 00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:30,500 for guys just like you, 583 00:30:30,580 --> 00:30:33,180 and we want you to be a member. 584 00:30:33,260 --> 00:30:34,620 You do? 585 00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:36,340 Yeah. 586 00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:38,940 Now, it's 500 bucks to join, 587 00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:41,100 but it's well worth all the access you're gonna have 588 00:30:41,180 --> 00:30:44,060 not only to Archibald's wife, but all the other wives 589 00:30:44,140 --> 00:30:46,100 and the cougar friends they're gonna bring with them. 590 00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:48,580 Yeah, but $500-- that's-- 591 00:30:48,660 --> 00:30:51,620 I mean, God, l... 592 00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:55,780 Okay, you know what? Yes, please. 593 00:30:55,860 --> 00:30:57,980 Yes, I'll-- yeah, all right. 594 00:30:58,060 --> 00:31:00,020 What's a cougar? 595 00:31:02,140 --> 00:31:04,020 - We'll explain later. - Yeah. 596 00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:07,260 Clean yourself up. We'll explain it to you. 597 00:31:07,340 --> 00:31:09,580 Here you go. Congratulations. 598 00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:11,180 Thank you. 599 00:31:13,820 --> 00:31:15,620 Here you go. 600 00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:20,220 All right, man, welcome to the club. 601 00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:22,740 - Oh thanks. - Whoa, you're hot. 602 00:31:26,980 --> 00:31:29,100 All right, welcome to the club. 603 00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:31,460 All right. 604 00:31:31,540 --> 00:31:35,540 Okay, welcome to Cougar Club. 605 00:31:37,460 --> 00:31:41,660 All right, now, all of your credit cards will be swiped 606 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,340 at every event to ensure that all payments 607 00:31:44,420 --> 00:31:46,500 have been received. If they're not, 608 00:31:46,580 --> 00:31:49,620 you will have the opportunity to make these payments at the event. 609 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:52,700 Now, for a little taste 610 00:31:52,780 --> 00:31:55,660 of what your new membership's gonna bring you. 611 00:31:57,180 --> 00:31:59,220 Mmm! 612 00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:05,020 Yeah, this little sweetie's name is lngrid Stone, 613 00:32:05,060 --> 00:32:07,300 Ferrari. 614 00:32:07,380 --> 00:32:09,500 She's a divorc�e, 615 00:32:09,580 --> 00:32:12,380 working at one of LA's finest financial firms, 616 00:32:12,460 --> 00:32:16,300 and she enjoys the headrush she gets from a vertical 69. 617 00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:23,740 So, gentlemen, 618 00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:26,340 Iet the hunt begin. 619 00:32:35,260 --> 00:32:37,380 Dolly. 620 00:32:37,460 --> 00:32:40,220 Oh God, oh... 621 00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:44,060 - Sorry, Dolly. - Don't fuckin' stop! 622 00:32:45,540 --> 00:32:48,940 Hey, shit turd, meet me in my office. 623 00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:51,540 Shouldn't I clean the bathrooms first? 624 00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:54,460 You heard me. Get in here! 625 00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:58,820 So why are you working at this firm, 626 00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:00,740 shit turd? 627 00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:03,620 Can you please stop calling me "shit turd"? 628 00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:05,860 Mmm. 629 00:33:05,940 --> 00:33:08,900 Why are you here... 630 00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:11,460 shit turd? 631 00:33:11,540 --> 00:33:16,020 I want real-world experience before I attend law school. 632 00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:18,940 Well, most people go straight to law school. Why didn't you? 633 00:33:18,980 --> 00:33:22,620 Well, I was accepted to Baker and Anderson Lee-- 634 00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:24,180 - Never heard of 'em. - Right right. 635 00:33:24,260 --> 00:33:26,900 And what school weren't you accepted to? 636 00:33:26,980 --> 00:33:29,260 Well, that would be Yale, sir. 637 00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:32,100 Now you see? That one I've heard of. 638 00:33:32,180 --> 00:33:34,260 So when I asked you why you were here, 639 00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:36,220 you didn't tell me the truth, did you? 640 00:33:36,260 --> 00:33:37,660 Oh. 641 00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,940 The truth is you're here 642 00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:43,180 because you need me to give you a recommendation letter 643 00:33:43,260 --> 00:33:45,780 to guarantee you acceptance into Yale. 644 00:33:45,860 --> 00:33:48,580 You're here because you're too stupid to get in on your own, 645 00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:52,260 and you need me to help do it for you. 646 00:33:52,340 --> 00:33:55,860 Now it seems your dear old dad 647 00:33:55,940 --> 00:33:59,740 is on his hands and knees ready to blow 648 00:33:59,780 --> 00:34:02,620 to make sure his shit turd of a son gets into Yale. 649 00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:07,340 Now what do you think I should tell dear old Dad? 650 00:34:10,540 --> 00:34:12,380 I don't know. 651 00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:14,540 Well, I think you should tell him 652 00:34:14,620 --> 00:34:16,620 that you're my bitch. 653 00:34:16,700 --> 00:34:19,580 And maybe if you do everything I tell you, 654 00:34:19,660 --> 00:34:23,620 your shit-turd ass might wind up in Yale. 655 00:34:26,420 --> 00:34:30,140 Who authorized you to change the locks to my house? 656 00:34:30,180 --> 00:34:32,660 You did. Read the pre-nup, sugar. 657 00:34:32,740 --> 00:34:34,980 You know I still have my things in there, don't you? 658 00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:37,140 Look, if you can't read the pre-nup, 659 00:34:37,220 --> 00:34:41,020 why don't you have your lawyer or some hack read it for you? 660 00:34:41,060 --> 00:34:43,420 Or if you want to make it easy on yourself, 661 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:46,300 just stay married to me. 662 00:34:46,380 --> 00:34:48,220 I'd rather be dead. 663 00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:50,940 And by the way, 664 00:34:51,020 --> 00:34:52,620 this box of lingerie... 665 00:34:54,620 --> 00:34:56,500 not mine, 666 00:34:56,580 --> 00:34:59,740 you son of a bitch. 667 00:35:07,660 --> 00:35:10,780 Don't you have a toilet bowl to lick dry? 668 00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:13,140 Yeah. Yup. 669 00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:26,140 - Are you okay? - Go. Go. 670 00:35:26,180 --> 00:35:27,740 Go go. 671 00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:31,540 What's-- what's going on? 672 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,980 Hey. Hi. 673 00:35:40,220 --> 00:35:42,100 What you did back there was... 674 00:35:42,180 --> 00:35:44,660 was good. It was really good, 675 00:35:44,740 --> 00:35:48,180 and I just want you to know that... 676 00:35:48,260 --> 00:35:50,260 if you need a place to stay, 677 00:35:50,340 --> 00:35:53,500 you can stay at my house. Let me give you my number. 678 00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:56,860 That's very sweet, but I'm staying with a friend. 679 00:35:56,900 --> 00:35:59,100 Nice to see you again, Spence. 680 00:35:59,180 --> 00:36:01,660 Wait wait wait, um... 681 00:36:01,740 --> 00:36:05,500 Would it be totally inappropriate to invite you to dinner? 682 00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:09,380 I just don't think I'm ready to see anybody right now. 683 00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:13,260 Thanks for asking. 684 00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,180 It's nice to be asked. 685 00:36:25,380 --> 00:36:28,580 I just invited her to stay at my parents' house. 686 00:36:30,060 --> 00:36:33,260 Wow. What am I doing? 687 00:36:38,740 --> 00:36:40,140 Archibald just called me. 688 00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:42,380 He's screaming for a foot scrub. 689 00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:44,740 I told him you'd be right up. 690 00:36:48,220 --> 00:36:49,820 And stay away from the wives! 691 00:36:49,900 --> 00:36:52,420 Present, future, uh... past. 692 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,180 Got it, dick hole? 693 00:36:57,540 --> 00:36:59,260 - Come on, Karl. - Okay. 694 00:36:59,340 --> 00:37:00,380 - Let's go. - All right. 695 00:37:00,460 --> 00:37:02,180 So good, they don't know shit about Cougar Club. 696 00:37:02,260 --> 00:37:03,940 No, but we gotta be careful. 697 00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:05,940 Their antennas are up, all of their antennas are up. 698 00:37:06,020 --> 00:37:07,900 - 'Night, boys. - Good night, my little carnation. 699 00:37:07,980 --> 00:37:09,820 Oh! 700 00:37:09,860 --> 00:37:11,740 Hogan? 701 00:37:11,780 --> 00:37:13,180 Thank you, baby. 702 00:37:13,260 --> 00:37:14,980 Hey. 703 00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:19,660 Is Conrad's wife hot? I don't remember. 704 00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:22,660 Yeah, but she's like 38. 705 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:25,300 Oh. Little young for me. I'll do her anyway, 706 00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:27,740 that way Karl here can do Archibald's wife, 707 00:37:27,780 --> 00:37:29,700 I'll hit Conrad's, you can hit Stack's. 708 00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:31,700 - Cool. - I'm not hitting Stack's wife. 709 00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:33,660 I don't even know what I'm doing with Stack's wife. 710 00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:35,220 You can do it. 711 00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:36,780 Oh shit. 712 00:37:39,620 --> 00:37:42,660 Hi. Did you lose my number? 713 00:37:42,740 --> 00:37:45,620 - No. - Get in. 714 00:37:46,860 --> 00:37:50,020 There you go. See you at home. 715 00:37:54,740 --> 00:37:56,180 - Hi. - Hi. 716 00:37:56,260 --> 00:37:59,940 - Ah. This is a nice surprise. - Mm-hmm. 717 00:38:00,940 --> 00:38:03,740 You are the boys, I'm just a girl 718 00:38:03,820 --> 00:38:06,180 We're not the same, we're from different worlds 719 00:38:06,620 --> 00:38:09,380 You think you're smart but you're no fun 720 00:38:09,460 --> 00:38:14,180 How hard is it to fall in love? 721 00:38:14,260 --> 00:38:16,100 Boys... 722 00:38:16,180 --> 00:38:18,460 So, why are you avoiding me? 723 00:38:18,540 --> 00:38:22,300 I'm-- I'm not. I just-- work has been really-- 724 00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:25,420 If you have something important to say to me, then just say it. 725 00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:27,580 Amanda, I don't. 726 00:38:27,660 --> 00:38:31,420 I just-- just wanna go in and go to sleep. 727 00:38:31,460 --> 00:38:33,700 Fine, let's go in and go to sleep. 728 00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:37,500 Can't sleep with you at my parents' house. 729 00:38:37,540 --> 00:38:39,420 That's right. 730 00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:41,620 That's why I think you should move in with me. 731 00:38:41,700 --> 00:38:42,900 Oh, Amanda. 732 00:38:42,980 --> 00:38:45,460 We are ready for that next step, Spencey-- 733 00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:48,580 our first apartment. And I'm even willing to cover the rent, 734 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:51,260 because I know you'll be facing enormous law-school bills 735 00:38:51,340 --> 00:38:54,340 and I know my assistance to you will be paid back to me tenfold 736 00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:56,780 once you're out of law school and we're married! 737 00:38:56,860 --> 00:38:57,900 Wow, Amanda-- 738 00:38:57,980 --> 00:39:00,260 It'll be like that movie, "Pay It Forward," with Kevin Spacey. 739 00:39:00,340 --> 00:39:02,900 You'll be Helen Hunt, I'll be Kevin Spacey. 740 00:39:02,980 --> 00:39:05,100 Okay, I didn't see that one. Amanda, look, I think we-- 741 00:39:05,180 --> 00:39:07,780 - Spencey, I love you. - I love you too. 742 00:39:07,860 --> 00:39:09,300 It's just, I'm not-- 743 00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:10,820 Shh shh shh shh. 744 00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:12,820 Just think about it. 745 00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:15,140 It's perfect. Okay? 746 00:39:15,220 --> 00:39:16,540 - Kiss. - Okay. 747 00:39:16,620 --> 00:39:17,780 Lip gloss, though. 748 00:39:17,860 --> 00:39:19,620 All right. 749 00:39:35,780 --> 00:39:39,300 Four-leaf clover. Agh! 750 00:39:41,020 --> 00:39:42,420 Here we go. 751 00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:45,340 You boys sleep tight. 752 00:39:45,420 --> 00:39:47,340 - Thanks, Mom. - Thanks, Mom. 753 00:39:47,420 --> 00:39:50,260 See, you think Amanda's gonna do shit like this for you? 754 00:39:50,340 --> 00:39:51,900 What are you doing? 755 00:39:51,980 --> 00:39:53,980 What? This is avocado and banana. 756 00:39:54,060 --> 00:39:55,660 You use this stuff, you never go bald. 757 00:39:55,740 --> 00:39:56,860 - Really? - Yup. 758 00:39:56,940 --> 00:39:58,860 - It's tingling. - Is it supposed to? 759 00:39:58,940 --> 00:40:00,020 I don't know. 760 00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:03,060 So, what's the deal again with Mrs. Birnbaum? 761 00:40:03,140 --> 00:40:05,580 Okay, now Edith's gonna get a 10 % fee 762 00:40:05,660 --> 00:40:08,380 for supplying us with hundreds of hot cougars. 763 00:40:08,460 --> 00:40:10,420 - Totally worth it. - All right. 764 00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:12,460 - Wow. - Did you give her the divorc�e files 765 00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:13,900 - from the office? - Yes. 766 00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:16,220 And she's totally set up for success. Now, all we need 767 00:40:16,260 --> 00:40:17,660 is one kick-ass party 768 00:40:17,740 --> 00:40:20,460 to get the word-of-mouth we kind of need to expand here. 769 00:40:20,540 --> 00:40:22,900 And I want to go all the way with this Cougar Club thing. 770 00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:26,660 I'm talking lnternet, magazines, calendars. 771 00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:29,500 I want to go full-on, nationwide organization. 772 00:40:29,540 --> 00:40:31,420 - It's burning! Burning now! - Man, you should really 773 00:40:31,460 --> 00:40:32,700 - just wash that out. - Yes! 774 00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:35,340 Hoo! 775 00:40:35,420 --> 00:40:38,060 So, where should our first party be? 776 00:40:39,140 --> 00:40:41,220 Marshall, I just don't know how to thank you for this. 777 00:40:41,300 --> 00:40:43,940 Barnaby's in Manhattan Beach is one of our absolute favorites. 778 00:40:44,020 --> 00:40:44,940 Isn't it, Fred? 779 00:40:45,020 --> 00:40:46,780 Oh no, are you kidding me? Thank you 780 00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:48,900 for letting me show my gratitude to you two. 781 00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:50,780 Oh, isn't that sweet, Fred? 782 00:40:50,860 --> 00:40:52,540 Okay, come on. 783 00:40:52,620 --> 00:40:54,660 - Hey, what are you guys doing tonight? - Let's go. 784 00:40:54,740 --> 00:40:56,420 Tonight's gonna be a big night actually, 785 00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:58,580 - 'cause we have a meeting of all... - Wow! 786 00:40:58,660 --> 00:41:01,020 - Might have a few people over... - Oh. 787 00:41:01,060 --> 00:41:02,700 ...watch some movies, play some games. 788 00:41:02,780 --> 00:41:05,060 - Naked Marco Polo. - That sounds nice. 789 00:41:05,140 --> 00:41:06,820 Well, there are plenty of sodas in the fridge. 790 00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:08,740 - Awesome. - Have a good time. 791 00:41:08,820 --> 00:41:10,620 Thanks, Mom. 792 00:41:11,620 --> 00:41:13,540 Come on, honey. 793 00:41:13,620 --> 00:41:16,860 Do you have any idea how much hot cougar ass is gonna be here tonight? 794 00:41:16,940 --> 00:41:19,260 Completely out of control. 795 00:41:19,340 --> 00:41:21,700 All three of the bosses' wives are gonna be represented. 796 00:41:24,060 --> 00:41:25,660 - Wow. - Operation Bosses'-wife-Fuck 797 00:41:25,740 --> 00:41:27,900 is definitely a go. 798 00:41:27,980 --> 00:41:30,300 Bye-bye! 799 00:41:32,060 --> 00:41:33,900 - Okay, calm down. - Yeah, okay. 800 00:41:33,980 --> 00:41:36,580 - Seriously, calm down. - Roll, bitches! 801 00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:38,180 One two three four 802 00:41:43,260 --> 00:41:45,420 Loaded cougar motherfuckers! 803 00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:48,380 Comin' atcha... 804 00:41:57,100 --> 00:42:00,100 Teddy Archibald. 805 00:42:00,180 --> 00:42:02,780 Hey, you look ravishing tonight. 806 00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:04,820 - Doesn't she, guys? - Well, thank you, Hogan. 807 00:42:04,900 --> 00:42:06,500 Oh, you're so welcome. 808 00:42:06,580 --> 00:42:08,500 Who's your little friend? 809 00:42:08,580 --> 00:42:12,020 Teddy Archibald, I'd like you to meet Karl Dessler. 810 00:42:13,660 --> 00:42:15,420 Hello, Karl. 811 00:42:15,460 --> 00:42:17,580 Hi... ah! 812 00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:19,540 Hey! 813 00:42:21,860 --> 00:42:23,580 I'm not sure she's even a woman. 814 00:42:23,660 --> 00:42:26,260 Uh, I'm not sure he'll even notice. 815 00:42:26,340 --> 00:42:27,580 Mm, you're right. 816 00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:31,300 Whoo! 817 00:42:31,380 --> 00:42:34,180 Cindy Conrad is here. 818 00:42:34,260 --> 00:42:36,100 Oh. 819 00:42:36,180 --> 00:42:38,660 - I remember now, Trans Am. - Uh-huh. 820 00:42:38,740 --> 00:42:41,780 Let's go get reacquainted. 821 00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:44,100 Holy shit, she's here. I can't-- 822 00:42:44,180 --> 00:42:46,460 Spence, no. Hey, come on. 823 00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:48,820 Don't puss out now. 824 00:42:49,860 --> 00:42:52,780 Oh, Cindy Conrad. 825 00:42:52,860 --> 00:42:53,900 Wow. 826 00:42:53,980 --> 00:42:55,820 - Marshall Hogan. - Hi. 827 00:42:55,900 --> 00:42:57,420 - It's so good to see you again. - Yeah. 828 00:42:57,500 --> 00:43:00,020 Wanna fuck? 829 00:43:07,980 --> 00:43:09,700 Okay. 830 00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:19,540 - Hi, Spence. - Hi. 831 00:43:22,780 --> 00:43:26,020 Can l, uh, get you a drink or... 832 00:43:26,100 --> 00:43:28,220 anything? Yeah. 833 00:43:28,300 --> 00:43:30,500 Do you mind if l...? 834 00:43:30,580 --> 00:43:32,860 Thanks. 835 00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:34,660 So... 836 00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:37,220 how's it going? 837 00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:40,580 Never better. He's dating someone he thinks he could marry, 838 00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:43,220 so I'm hearing less from him, which is great. 839 00:43:43,300 --> 00:43:45,180 Can I ask you something? 840 00:43:45,220 --> 00:43:47,140 "Why did I marry him in the first place?" 841 00:43:47,220 --> 00:43:49,900 No no no, I didn't mean to pry, it's just that... 842 00:43:49,980 --> 00:43:53,580 you are too beautiful and smart 843 00:43:53,660 --> 00:43:56,100 and nice to be married to a guy like him. 844 00:43:56,180 --> 00:43:58,780 I won't miss the way you're looking at me right now. 845 00:43:58,860 --> 00:44:01,540 Everyone looks at me that way, even when they hear he's my husband. 846 00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:04,420 - I feel bad for you. - Well don't, 847 00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,220 because I kinda hate that. 848 00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:08,580 I'm not a victim. I left. 849 00:44:10,420 --> 00:44:14,260 Look, Cindy dragged me here tonight, 850 00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:15,940 but it's really not my scene. 851 00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:18,100 I'm not into a meaningless relationship 852 00:44:18,180 --> 00:44:21,460 with some guy who wasn't even born before disco. 853 00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:24,180 Excuse me. 854 00:44:24,260 --> 00:44:26,100 Wait. 855 00:44:42,340 --> 00:44:44,540 Peek-a-boo. 856 00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:46,940 - Trans... - Mmm! 857 00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:49,820 ...am. 858 00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:51,100 Uh-oh. 859 00:44:51,180 --> 00:44:53,780 - Watcha doin' down there? - Hide... 860 00:44:53,860 --> 00:44:55,020 and seek. 861 00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:57,660 What is she doing? 862 00:44:57,740 --> 00:45:00,140 She's in there. 863 00:45:01,380 --> 00:45:03,180 Uh-oh! Can l... 864 00:45:05,580 --> 00:45:07,420 Ow! 865 00:45:07,460 --> 00:45:09,660 Ah! 866 00:45:13,180 --> 00:45:14,860 Sorry about the bed. 867 00:45:14,940 --> 00:45:18,140 The... king size is on back order, 868 00:45:18,220 --> 00:45:20,100 so... 869 00:45:20,180 --> 00:45:21,780 Do you and Hogan share a room? 870 00:45:21,860 --> 00:45:23,380 What? 871 00:45:23,460 --> 00:45:26,580 No. No no no no. 872 00:45:26,660 --> 00:45:27,980 Nope. 873 00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:30,500 - Mm. - Mm. 874 00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:45,860 Mm-- ow. 875 00:45:45,940 --> 00:45:47,740 How do you feel... 876 00:45:51,980 --> 00:45:53,700 about feet? 877 00:46:02,540 --> 00:46:03,580 Ow. 878 00:46:09,980 --> 00:46:12,020 Mm, oh! 879 00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:13,580 Oh, just... 880 00:46:13,660 --> 00:46:16,540 - it's so hard, just need a minute. - Okay okay. 881 00:46:28,060 --> 00:46:30,900 Shh shh. 882 00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:35,900 Okay. 883 00:46:35,940 --> 00:46:38,140 - No more "shush." - I'm ready. 884 00:46:38,220 --> 00:46:41,260 I know, I can feel it. 885 00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:42,980 - Ooh! - Mm. 886 00:46:43,060 --> 00:46:45,460 - So young. - Yeah, so young. 887 00:46:45,540 --> 00:46:46,660 So young. 888 00:47:03,820 --> 00:47:05,940 Oh yeah! 889 00:47:06,020 --> 00:47:07,340 Take your time! 890 00:47:14,580 --> 00:47:17,260 You know that if you smack my ass, it doesn't move. 891 00:47:18,260 --> 00:47:20,100 Yeah. Go ahead. 892 00:47:20,180 --> 00:47:21,780 Smack it. 893 00:47:21,860 --> 00:47:23,980 Punch it if you want to. Go ahead. 894 00:47:24,060 --> 00:47:27,180 Smack it! Smack it! 895 00:47:28,180 --> 00:47:30,300 - Okay? - Whoo! Ha ha ha! 896 00:47:30,380 --> 00:47:32,500 Wah! 897 00:47:34,820 --> 00:47:36,220 Mommy. 898 00:47:36,260 --> 00:47:40,180 Drop your panties to the floor 899 00:47:40,260 --> 00:47:43,300 - Come on... - Wanna do it again? 900 00:47:43,380 --> 00:47:45,180 Drop your panties... 901 00:47:45,220 --> 00:47:46,420 Yep. 902 00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:49,180 Drop your panties to the floor 903 00:47:49,260 --> 00:47:51,780 To the floor, to the floor 904 00:47:51,860 --> 00:47:54,020 Drop your panties 905 00:47:54,100 --> 00:47:57,140 Drop your panties... 906 00:48:02,660 --> 00:48:05,900 Holy shit. 907 00:48:05,980 --> 00:48:08,020 It's my parents. 908 00:48:09,980 --> 00:48:12,980 Spencer, you're a 22-year-old man. You're allowed to have sex. 909 00:48:13,060 --> 00:48:15,420 No no, it's not-- it's not the sex part. 910 00:48:15,500 --> 00:48:17,740 It's the-- the party part. 911 00:48:23,900 --> 00:48:25,780 Holy shit, it's Barry. 912 00:48:25,860 --> 00:48:28,300 - What? - Barry, my ex-husband. 913 00:48:28,380 --> 00:48:29,620 Your boss! 914 00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:32,420 Fuck! Don't move. 915 00:48:32,500 --> 00:48:34,740 Stay here until I get back. 916 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:43,500 - Nice place. - Oh, thanks. 917 00:48:44,780 --> 00:48:47,420 Mom and Dad are home, and they're with Barry Stack. 918 00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:48,460 - Fuck! - Fuck! 919 00:48:48,540 --> 00:48:50,860 Go outside, make sure everyone stays out of the fuckin' house. 920 00:48:50,940 --> 00:48:53,020 Yeah. Go go go go. 921 00:48:53,100 --> 00:48:56,260 - Go go go go go go! - Come on! 922 00:49:03,460 --> 00:49:06,540 Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? 923 00:49:06,620 --> 00:49:08,700 Take it outside! 924 00:49:09,860 --> 00:49:11,820 Okay, here we... come on. 925 00:49:11,900 --> 00:49:13,140 Here we are. 926 00:49:13,220 --> 00:49:15,380 Mom, Dad! Mr. Stack! 927 00:49:15,460 --> 00:49:17,540 Wow, what a surprise. Well, this is great. 928 00:49:17,620 --> 00:49:19,580 Look who we ran into at Barnaby's, huh? 929 00:49:19,660 --> 00:49:21,980 He was at a wedding reception in the outside garden. 930 00:49:22,020 --> 00:49:23,700 - Oh, it was stunning. - Oh, I see, I see. 931 00:49:23,780 --> 00:49:27,580 I thought-- I thought you and Mom were gonna spend the night, but...? 932 00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:30,380 - Well... - Oh, your dad had a touch of diarrhea. 933 00:49:30,460 --> 00:49:32,580 So let's-- let's just go sit in the living room. 934 00:49:32,660 --> 00:49:35,340 Uh, the living room, Mom, that's a great idea. 935 00:49:35,420 --> 00:49:39,220 No no, nonsense, nonsense. The living room's for Yale-bred. 936 00:49:39,300 --> 00:49:41,180 Men talk in the den. 937 00:49:41,220 --> 00:49:43,620 - Hmm? - Mmm. 938 00:49:43,700 --> 00:49:45,980 Ah! Now we're talking, huh? 939 00:49:46,020 --> 00:49:47,260 Oh-- whoa! 940 00:49:47,340 --> 00:49:49,260 Watch your step there. 941 00:49:50,980 --> 00:49:52,580 - Okay now, Fred, - Yeah? 942 00:49:52,660 --> 00:49:54,660 I'm gonna go get you your little orange miracle-worker. 943 00:49:54,740 --> 00:49:56,300 Anybody for coffee or bundt cake? 944 00:49:56,380 --> 00:49:57,940 - Fantastic. - You know what, Mom? 945 00:49:58,020 --> 00:50:01,020 Why don't you stay here and I'll go get the coffee... 946 00:50:01,100 --> 00:50:02,580 Oh honey, no, you sit. 947 00:50:02,660 --> 00:50:04,340 Honey, Dad and Mr. Stack are gonna talk 948 00:50:04,420 --> 00:50:06,060 about your recommendation letter to Yale. 949 00:50:06,140 --> 00:50:08,340 - You stay. - It would be inappropriate 950 00:50:08,420 --> 00:50:11,980 for me to try to influence Mr. Stack directly. 951 00:50:12,060 --> 00:50:13,580 No no no, sit sit sit. 952 00:50:13,660 --> 00:50:14,820 Excuse me. 953 00:50:15,860 --> 00:50:18,860 He's an... impetuous kid, you know? 954 00:50:32,820 --> 00:50:35,500 - Mo-- Mom! - Oh honey! Didn't know you were here. 955 00:50:35,580 --> 00:50:38,300 Sweetheart, would you look in the fridge and get that bundt cake? 956 00:50:38,380 --> 00:50:39,300 Sure, absolutely. 957 00:50:39,380 --> 00:50:41,660 - Oh, and a can of whipped cream. - Uh... 958 00:50:41,700 --> 00:50:44,420 - I don't see it. - Really, I know I bought some. 959 00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,540 Oh good, you found it. 960 00:50:46,620 --> 00:50:48,500 I knew I bought that. 961 00:50:53,420 --> 00:50:56,460 Honey, is that your tummy? 962 00:50:56,540 --> 00:50:59,060 Yeah yeah, I think I have a touch of what Dad has. 963 00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:01,060 Oh, sweetheart, is there burning in your anus? 964 00:51:01,140 --> 00:51:02,540 Yep yep, just a little bit. 965 00:51:02,620 --> 00:51:04,380 Well, maybe you need one of Dad's little orange pills. 966 00:51:04,460 --> 00:51:07,020 Yeah, you know what? I'm just gonna let it pass. 967 00:51:07,100 --> 00:51:08,020 - You sure? - Yes. 968 00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:09,860 - That's a good idea. - Well, all right. 969 00:51:09,940 --> 00:51:11,500 You know where they are. Come on, sweetheart, 970 00:51:11,580 --> 00:51:13,460 follow me with that bundt cake. Let's go. 971 00:51:13,540 --> 00:51:15,140 Yeah, we don't want to keep them waiting. 972 00:51:15,220 --> 00:51:16,660 I know. 973 00:51:16,740 --> 00:51:18,620 Get the fuck out of here! 974 00:51:18,660 --> 00:51:20,300 - Gesundheit. - Thank you. 975 00:51:24,380 --> 00:51:26,300 - Here we go. - Ah, here. 976 00:51:26,380 --> 00:51:28,020 All right. 977 00:51:28,100 --> 00:51:30,020 Yeah, beautiful beautiful. 978 00:51:30,100 --> 00:51:31,980 Oh. 979 00:51:32,060 --> 00:51:35,900 Wow. Hogan's got a hell of a Marco Polo game going on. 980 00:51:35,980 --> 00:51:38,660 Marco Polo-- it's still popular, isn't it? 981 00:51:38,740 --> 00:51:40,660 You sit-- you sit there, honey. 982 00:51:40,740 --> 00:51:43,420 So Barry was telling me there that... 983 00:51:43,500 --> 00:51:46,580 you are quite the ambitious, hard-working employee. 984 00:51:46,660 --> 00:51:49,700 And you've got quite the aptitude for the law. 985 00:51:49,780 --> 00:51:51,820 - That-- that's great, Spence. - Yeah. 986 00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:53,660 - Here you go, Barry. - Thanks, Mr. Stack. 987 00:51:53,740 --> 00:51:55,780 Yeah. 988 00:51:55,860 --> 00:51:57,100 Oh. 989 00:51:57,180 --> 00:52:00,340 Oh, that sounds like it's really deep in your cavity, honey. 990 00:52:00,420 --> 00:52:03,300 - Just give me the pill, honey. - Ooh. 991 00:52:11,060 --> 00:52:13,900 - What are you doing? - I'm in Cougar Club. 992 00:52:13,980 --> 00:52:15,460 Right, and rule number one of Cougar Club 993 00:52:15,540 --> 00:52:17,100 is you don't fucking talk about Cougar Club! 994 00:52:17,180 --> 00:52:18,820 Now take her back to your place. 995 00:52:18,900 --> 00:52:22,940 All the beauty in the world 996 00:52:23,020 --> 00:52:25,060 All the beauty in the world... 997 00:52:37,260 --> 00:52:39,420 I'm so glad that we... 998 00:52:39,500 --> 00:52:41,980 - Hi! - Amanda. 999 00:52:42,060 --> 00:52:43,660 - Where were you? - What are you doing here? 1000 00:52:43,740 --> 00:52:45,420 - What? - We were supposed to go 1001 00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:48,100 on the horseback ride from Beachwood Canyon to Glendale. 1002 00:52:48,180 --> 00:52:49,540 How could you forget that? 1003 00:52:49,620 --> 00:52:52,580 - It was sunset. - Oh. 1004 00:52:52,660 --> 00:52:55,660 Yeah, I'm sorry. I had a meeting here 1005 00:52:55,740 --> 00:53:00,020 with my boss. Mr. Stack, this is my girlfriend, Amanda. 1006 00:53:00,100 --> 00:53:03,060 Yeah, except you didn't know I was gonna be here tonight. 1007 00:53:03,140 --> 00:53:04,900 How very nice to meet you, Amanda. 1008 00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:06,820 I'm Barry Stack. 1009 00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:08,220 Is this true, Spencey? 1010 00:53:08,260 --> 00:53:11,020 It's, um-- what was the question? 1011 00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:14,260 Well, obviously you didn't invite me to your party. 1012 00:53:14,340 --> 00:53:16,500 I mean, apparently I'm just a little too young. 1013 00:53:16,580 --> 00:53:18,300 All the women out there are really old. 1014 00:53:18,380 --> 00:53:20,780 Why are you partying with a bunch of 50-year-olds? 1015 00:53:20,860 --> 00:53:23,140 Are you into old ladies, Spencey? 1016 00:53:23,220 --> 00:53:25,300 What? No. 1017 00:53:25,380 --> 00:53:27,100 I-- I don't know what she's talking about. 1018 00:53:27,180 --> 00:53:30,780 I-l-l-l-I I don't know-- I don't know how to thank you enough, Barry, 1019 00:53:30,860 --> 00:53:34,180 for this letter of recommendation. It just means the world to us. 1020 00:53:34,260 --> 00:53:35,940 No thanks necessary, Fred. 1021 00:53:36,020 --> 00:53:37,700 Anyway, after all is said and done, 1022 00:53:37,780 --> 00:53:40,580 I think Spencey's gonna earn that letter. 1023 00:53:40,660 --> 00:53:43,340 Of course-- of course-- of course he is. Of course, of course. 1024 00:53:51,220 --> 00:53:53,180 Let's go. Let's... 1025 00:53:57,660 --> 00:53:59,540 Oh. 1026 00:53:59,620 --> 00:54:01,540 Good night, Spence. 1027 00:54:01,620 --> 00:54:04,140 - Spence, what's going on? - It's not-- 1028 00:54:04,220 --> 00:54:05,980 Isn't she a little old for Marco Polo? 1029 00:54:06,060 --> 00:54:07,500 Daniela, wait! 1030 00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:10,220 Spence? Spence! 1031 00:54:12,460 --> 00:54:15,740 I had no idea he would be here, I swear. 1032 00:54:15,820 --> 00:54:17,060 Don't go. 1033 00:54:17,140 --> 00:54:19,100 Spence, I'm sorry. You're a really nice guy, 1034 00:54:19,180 --> 00:54:21,020 but I don't want anything here, okay? 1035 00:54:21,100 --> 00:54:23,340 - Come on, can't we just talk about it? - Good night, Spence. 1036 00:54:23,420 --> 00:54:25,060 What the--? 1037 00:54:25,140 --> 00:54:27,340 You're not over him yet, are you? 1038 00:54:27,420 --> 00:54:28,540 Spence? 1039 00:54:28,620 --> 00:54:31,340 Are you having a relationship with this old lady? 1040 00:54:32,820 --> 00:54:36,100 Oh my Go-- you know, I would expect this from Hogan, okay? 1041 00:54:36,180 --> 00:54:38,740 He's-- he's sick! But you? 1042 00:54:38,820 --> 00:54:41,540 Amanda, not now, just go home. 1043 00:54:41,620 --> 00:54:44,100 Daniela, wait! 1044 00:54:47,380 --> 00:54:49,140 You're a fucker, Spence! 1045 00:55:08,700 --> 00:55:11,500 Good morning, guys. Your applicants are here. 1046 00:55:11,580 --> 00:55:13,460 What? 1047 00:55:13,540 --> 00:55:14,940 They're not supposed to come here. 1048 00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:16,540 Thank you very much, sweetheart. 1049 00:55:16,620 --> 00:55:18,940 I think we can take it from here. Gentlemen? 1050 00:55:20,300 --> 00:55:22,620 So, tell us why 1051 00:55:22,660 --> 00:55:24,940 you want to be members of Cougar Club. 1052 00:55:25,020 --> 00:55:27,700 Well, it's like-- I've been fantasizing 1053 00:55:27,780 --> 00:55:30,220 about my mom's friends for a long time. 1054 00:55:31,260 --> 00:55:33,140 - So has he. - Mm-hmm. 1055 00:55:33,220 --> 00:55:35,220 Right. Welcome. 1056 00:55:36,340 --> 00:55:38,780 - Yeah, okay. - Thanks. 1057 00:55:38,860 --> 00:55:42,140 - Congratulations. - Why don't you guys read these over? 1058 00:55:42,180 --> 00:55:44,580 A couple times. Get the hell out of here. 1059 00:55:51,740 --> 00:55:55,460 That's 345 and 346. We've more than tripled our membership. 1060 00:55:55,540 --> 00:55:57,660 It's just like you said. 1061 00:55:57,740 --> 00:55:59,740 - La-la-la! - You know I don't like that. 1062 00:55:59,820 --> 00:56:01,860 - What? - This, gross. 1063 00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:05,900 So I look at the question and the answer just seems to pop into my head. 1064 00:56:05,980 --> 00:56:08,420 And I've been here so many times before, 1065 00:56:08,500 --> 00:56:11,020 - and I go blank, so-- - Oh! Okay okay. 1066 00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:13,980 Is it a foot? 1067 00:56:14,060 --> 00:56:15,260 Mm-hmm. 1068 00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:19,300 Oh hell no. 1069 00:56:19,380 --> 00:56:21,660 No, try it, it's good. 1070 00:56:21,740 --> 00:56:24,780 Have you tried the toenail? It's a secret ingredient. 1071 00:56:24,860 --> 00:56:26,620 What the...? What is this? 1072 00:56:26,700 --> 00:56:28,900 Guys, I passed the bar. 1073 00:56:28,980 --> 00:56:31,300 - No, you didn't! - I did. 1074 00:56:31,380 --> 00:56:32,700 Way to go, man. 1075 00:56:34,180 --> 00:56:36,100 I couldn't have done it without you guys. 1076 00:56:36,180 --> 00:56:37,780 - Oh. - Cougar Club-- 1077 00:56:37,860 --> 00:56:40,060 I swear-- changed my life. 1078 00:56:40,140 --> 00:56:42,140 - That's sweet, man. - Lsn't he sweet? 1079 00:56:42,220 --> 00:56:44,900 - It's true. - Oh. 1080 00:56:44,980 --> 00:56:46,300 Hey, okay. 1081 00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:47,740 Okay, all right, Karl. 1082 00:56:49,380 --> 00:56:51,860 Have some celebratory cake. 1083 00:56:51,940 --> 00:56:55,460 Well well well. Congratulations, butt-licker. 1084 00:56:55,540 --> 00:56:56,980 Thanks, Mr. Archibald. 1085 00:57:00,460 --> 00:57:03,100 And your wife. Thank her for me too. 1086 00:57:04,140 --> 00:57:06,020 Attention shit turd 1087 00:57:06,100 --> 00:57:07,740 and shit-turd's friend. 1088 00:57:07,820 --> 00:57:10,300 Put down the fucking snacks and get in here. 1089 00:57:10,380 --> 00:57:14,260 Oh, and a special congratulations to douche bag. 1090 00:57:14,340 --> 00:57:17,420 I never thought you'd pass. 1091 00:57:20,860 --> 00:57:22,500 He knew my name. 1092 00:57:52,420 --> 00:57:54,500 Assignment time. 1093 00:57:54,580 --> 00:57:57,260 I need you shit turds to go to L Oberman's house with a camera. 1094 00:57:57,340 --> 00:57:58,940 His address is in the folder. 1095 00:57:59,020 --> 00:58:01,260 I have knowledge he does hookers by the pool 1096 00:58:01,340 --> 00:58:02,620 on Wednesdays at 3:00. 1097 00:58:02,700 --> 00:58:04,820 Take pictures and bring them back to me. 1098 00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:06,380 Go! 1099 00:58:07,460 --> 00:58:08,940 You are aware, sir-- 1100 00:58:09,020 --> 00:58:11,380 Are you speaking to me? 1101 00:58:11,460 --> 00:58:14,140 It's not what-- 1102 00:58:21,980 --> 00:58:23,980 Spence? 1103 00:58:24,060 --> 00:58:26,260 By the way, I was wondering if you were able 1104 00:58:26,340 --> 00:58:28,620 to finish my letter of recommendation? 1105 00:58:28,700 --> 00:58:31,420 Not yet, shit turd. 1106 00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:34,340 Do you know when you might be able to finish it? Because I really-- 1107 00:58:34,420 --> 00:58:36,620 You'll know when you're fucking looking at it! 1108 00:58:36,700 --> 00:58:38,900 Okay! Yeah. 1109 00:58:38,980 --> 00:58:41,060 We will know that when we're looking at it. 1110 00:58:41,140 --> 00:58:42,900 We look forward to that. 1111 00:58:42,980 --> 00:58:44,940 Don't kill the asshole yet. 1112 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:52,980 Look what I found in shit-turd friend's backpack. 1113 00:58:54,260 --> 00:58:55,940 "Cougar Club"? 1114 00:58:56,020 --> 00:58:57,500 Hmm. 1115 00:58:59,060 --> 00:59:01,740 I think our wives are involved in this. 1116 00:59:11,020 --> 00:59:14,020 I can't believe she's still in love with that fucking guy. 1117 00:59:15,220 --> 00:59:17,100 Why won't she call me back? 1118 00:59:17,180 --> 00:59:19,300 Conrad's wife won't stop calling me. 1119 00:59:19,380 --> 00:59:20,500 It's like, "Dude, 1120 00:59:20,580 --> 00:59:22,380 Ieave me the fuck alone." 1121 00:59:26,460 --> 00:59:29,380 Your mind should be dug out and studied, man. 1122 00:59:29,460 --> 00:59:31,260 Why? 1123 00:59:31,340 --> 00:59:33,380 I know what I like. 1124 00:59:33,460 --> 00:59:36,580 Oh, ladies, I gotta go pull on my bow. 1125 00:59:38,620 --> 00:59:39,860 What is that? 1126 00:59:39,940 --> 00:59:44,500 That, my friend, is a gold lam� banana hammock. 1127 00:59:44,580 --> 00:59:46,180 No. 1128 00:59:46,260 --> 00:59:49,140 No, that's a bow and arrow. 1129 00:59:54,220 --> 00:59:56,300 Ay, caramba. 1130 01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:01,580 Oh shit. 1131 01:00:05,460 --> 01:00:07,940 Who the fuck? 1132 01:00:24,980 --> 01:00:27,860 Oh, sorry, shit turds. 1133 01:00:27,940 --> 01:00:30,100 I heard you got banged up a little, 1134 01:00:30,140 --> 01:00:33,380 but the firm really appreciates you going that extra mile. 1135 01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:36,900 And hey, I'll write that letter of recommendation 1136 01:00:36,980 --> 01:00:38,220 real soon. 1137 01:00:41,420 --> 01:00:42,780 - Everyone's paid up. - Okay. 1138 01:00:42,860 --> 01:00:44,420 - Cool cool cool. - Thanks for checking, Karl. 1139 01:00:44,500 --> 01:00:46,020 - You all right? - Yeah. Ahem. 1140 01:00:48,980 --> 01:00:50,500 Hello, Cougar Club. 1141 01:00:55,740 --> 01:00:59,060 All right, nice to see you guys showed up here today. 1142 01:00:59,140 --> 01:01:02,020 Let's talk about it. 1143 01:01:02,100 --> 01:01:03,860 How great was pool party? 1144 01:01:09,740 --> 01:01:12,380 How about Film-Your-Own- Threesome Thursdays? 1145 01:01:14,580 --> 01:01:17,020 I'm gonna take it down a notch here 1146 01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:19,180 because some of you are a little skittish about this one-- 1147 01:01:19,260 --> 01:01:21,380 you're regretting it now-- a little something called 1148 01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:24,980 "Midnight Graveyard Cougar Hunt." 1149 01:01:29,020 --> 01:01:30,580 Oh yeah! 1150 01:01:30,660 --> 01:01:34,140 All right, all right. So now, as all of you know, 1151 01:01:34,220 --> 01:01:36,700 September 19th 1152 01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:40,860 is our big Cougar Club extravaganza 1153 01:01:40,940 --> 01:01:42,660 in Beverly Hills. 1154 01:01:42,740 --> 01:01:45,820 That's right. Okay, guys, 1155 01:01:45,900 --> 01:01:47,940 so it just comes down to this-- simple. 1156 01:01:48,020 --> 01:01:50,980 Don't be pussies, take care of your cougars, 1157 01:01:51,060 --> 01:01:52,460 'cause they take care of you. 1158 01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:57,500 Cougar cougar cougar... 1159 01:02:11,580 --> 01:02:13,220 Hello, BMW. 1160 01:02:16,740 --> 01:02:19,020 Nice. A Lexus. 1161 01:02:20,460 --> 01:02:24,140 Ah. Miss Cadillac. Very nice. 1162 01:02:24,220 --> 01:02:27,140 Ooh. Jaguar. 1163 01:02:27,220 --> 01:02:29,860 - Oh yeah. - Come over and sort you out. 1164 01:02:33,820 --> 01:02:36,340 Oh shit, it's the Trans Am. Hide me. 1165 01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,140 Hey, Hogan. 1166 01:02:38,220 --> 01:02:41,180 Still ain't moving, baby. Yeow! 1167 01:02:41,260 --> 01:02:42,900 Look at that. 1168 01:02:44,980 --> 01:02:47,380 - Hey. - You know it, I'll show it. 1169 01:02:47,460 --> 01:02:48,860 Whoo! 1170 01:02:50,540 --> 01:02:53,380 - Welcome. - Guess Daniela didn't come with her. 1171 01:02:53,460 --> 01:02:56,420 Okay, Cameron, pay up. 1172 01:02:56,500 --> 01:02:58,340 ATM's inside. Here you go. 1173 01:02:58,420 --> 01:03:00,860 Tried to run one by Karl? Not gonna happen, pal. 1174 01:03:00,940 --> 01:03:02,620 He's got eyes like a hawk. 1175 01:03:04,420 --> 01:03:07,420 Look at her. Here she comes, there she goes. 1176 01:03:20,140 --> 01:03:21,940 Hey! 1177 01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:36,900 Karl. Karl. Did you-- you swipe this guy in? 1178 01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,540 Ooh! 1179 01:03:39,540 --> 01:03:42,540 No, l-- no, I don't know how he got in here. 1180 01:03:42,620 --> 01:03:44,260 - No. - Cougar crasher. 1181 01:03:47,860 --> 01:03:50,300 Well, look at you, baby. Hey. 1182 01:03:50,380 --> 01:03:52,260 Um, can I see your Cougar card? 1183 01:03:52,340 --> 01:03:53,660 Cougar card? 1184 01:03:54,660 --> 01:03:57,020 I'm gonna have to pull him away for a sec, will you excuse us? 1185 01:03:57,060 --> 01:03:58,020 Sure. 1186 01:03:58,100 --> 01:04:00,420 This is a private party, and I'm really sorry, members only. 1187 01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:02,340 - You're gonna have to go. - Come on, man. 1188 01:04:02,420 --> 01:04:06,740 That girl, she wants me. I can get with her in like five minutes. 1189 01:04:06,820 --> 01:04:09,740 Well, unfortunately, only members get that chance. 1190 01:04:09,820 --> 01:04:10,900 Members only. 1191 01:04:10,980 --> 01:04:13,220 Well, what do I got to do to become a member? 1192 01:04:13,300 --> 01:04:16,900 Well, I mean, there's a whole extensive screening process. 1193 01:04:16,980 --> 01:04:19,540 My partner and l have to interview you... 1194 01:04:19,620 --> 01:04:21,100 And then if they approve, 1195 01:04:21,180 --> 01:04:24,860 - then you pay a fee of like-- - $3,000 to join, 1196 01:04:24,940 --> 01:04:27,540 and then there is individual fees for each event. 1197 01:04:27,620 --> 01:04:29,180 Great, I've interviewed. 1198 01:04:29,260 --> 01:04:32,380 I just won like, five grad cash at one of the lndian casinos. 1199 01:04:32,460 --> 01:04:35,740 I'll slide that your way, and then I'll be a member. 1200 01:04:35,820 --> 01:04:38,020 Okay. 1201 01:04:38,100 --> 01:04:41,060 - $5,000? - Come here. Come here! 1202 01:04:41,140 --> 01:04:42,940 - Okay. Okay. - Okay. 1203 01:04:43,020 --> 01:04:46,820 Let's-- just hold on just a second, Cindy. 1204 01:04:46,900 --> 01:04:48,180 Hold. 1205 01:04:48,260 --> 01:04:50,700 Meet my partner, we'll finish this transaction, all right? 1206 01:04:50,780 --> 01:04:51,980 - All right. - Right this way. 1207 01:04:52,060 --> 01:04:54,420 - After you, sir. Please, after you. - That's fine. 1208 01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:55,940 Attaboy. 1209 01:05:03,340 --> 01:05:06,140 What the hell are you doing over here, man? 1210 01:05:06,180 --> 01:05:08,380 - I can't fuckin' believe it. - What? 1211 01:05:08,460 --> 01:05:10,460 She's here with him. 1212 01:05:10,540 --> 01:05:12,700 Oh damn. 1213 01:05:12,780 --> 01:05:14,180 I'm so sorry, man. 1214 01:05:14,260 --> 01:05:16,420 Look, just real quick, I got something I got to ask you. 1215 01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:18,060 - Now? - Yeah, just two seconds. 1216 01:05:18,140 --> 01:05:21,420 There's this guy here and he's willing to pay five grand tonight 1217 01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:23,660 to join Cougar Club. What do you think? 1218 01:05:23,740 --> 01:05:25,940 Spence, what do you think? 1219 01:05:26,020 --> 01:05:27,900 - It's-- it's fine. - Yeah? 1220 01:05:27,980 --> 01:05:29,340 - Yeah. - Okay, cool. 1221 01:05:29,420 --> 01:05:30,980 Damn, so sorry. 1222 01:05:31,060 --> 01:05:32,500 - Okay. - Yes, sir. 1223 01:05:32,580 --> 01:05:34,580 - Now look, my friend is busy here. - Okay. 1224 01:05:34,660 --> 01:05:36,300 Okay? But he's gonna give you a shot... 1225 01:05:36,380 --> 01:05:37,660 - Oh. - ...on this, all right? 1226 01:05:37,740 --> 01:05:39,380 - One shot. - Wow. 1227 01:05:39,460 --> 01:05:43,060 So-- so basically I give you this... 1228 01:05:43,140 --> 01:05:47,020 5,000 bucks and I get to go nail that hottie? 1229 01:05:48,140 --> 01:05:50,780 You are a charmer. Yeah, you get to nail that cougar. 1230 01:05:50,860 --> 01:05:53,060 - Cougar. Eh... - Cougar. 1231 01:05:53,140 --> 01:05:54,500 Cougar. 1232 01:05:54,580 --> 01:05:55,660 Nice. 1233 01:05:57,020 --> 01:05:58,740 It's there. 1234 01:05:58,820 --> 01:06:01,300 - Welcome to Cougar Club. - All right. 1235 01:06:01,380 --> 01:06:02,700 Welcome to Cougar Club, man. 1236 01:06:02,780 --> 01:06:03,740 - Ow! - Hey, what are you-- 1237 01:06:03,820 --> 01:06:06,340 - What the hell? - I'm Detective John Butler. 1238 01:06:06,420 --> 01:06:08,140 You're both under arrest for pandering. 1239 01:06:08,220 --> 01:06:09,500 - What? - Beat it, douche bag. 1240 01:06:09,580 --> 01:06:11,020 Oh my... God, he knew my name! 1241 01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:12,540 You both have the right to remain silent. 1242 01:06:12,620 --> 01:06:14,340 - Anything you say... - Turn around. 1243 01:06:14,420 --> 01:06:16,140 ...can and will be used against you. 1244 01:06:16,220 --> 01:06:19,580 - Blah blah blah blah blah... - No way, not the shit turds. 1245 01:06:19,660 --> 01:06:22,940 Officer, these boys work for me. Why are they being arrested? 1246 01:06:23,020 --> 01:06:24,380 Pandering. 1247 01:06:24,420 --> 01:06:26,860 Wow, you think you know people. 1248 01:06:26,940 --> 01:06:29,500 You hear that, honey? Pandering! 1249 01:06:29,580 --> 01:06:33,380 Should I put that in your recommendation letter, Spencey? 1250 01:06:35,460 --> 01:06:37,140 Whoo! 1251 01:06:41,060 --> 01:06:43,940 Here's your car, boys! 1252 01:06:45,940 --> 01:06:48,180 Amanda said if I kept associating with you, 1253 01:06:48,260 --> 01:06:50,260 it would eventually destroy me, and she was right. 1254 01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,140 Oh, so, this is all my fault? 1255 01:06:52,220 --> 01:06:54,060 I did all this by myself? 1256 01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:55,860 'Cause you were there. You said, "Fine." 1257 01:06:55,940 --> 01:06:58,420 I wasn't even looking at you when I said it. 1258 01:06:58,500 --> 01:07:00,740 Obviously, I had other things on my mind. 1259 01:07:00,820 --> 01:07:03,100 Do you not see how much I lose in this thing? 1260 01:07:03,180 --> 01:07:05,380 Is that not perfectly clear to you? 1261 01:07:05,460 --> 01:07:08,980 Yale? Totally fucked. My job? Fucked. 1262 01:07:09,060 --> 01:07:10,940 Oh, what, I didn't lose my job? 1263 01:07:10,980 --> 01:07:12,500 No, I didn't lose my job? 1264 01:07:12,580 --> 01:07:14,620 Don't even pretend that meant anything to you, 1265 01:07:14,700 --> 01:07:17,340 because you don't have to care about anything, Hogan. 1266 01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:19,500 You have no responsibilities, no obligations, 1267 01:07:19,580 --> 01:07:21,700 no one breathing down your fucking neck every day of your life 1268 01:07:21,780 --> 01:07:23,820 demanding you do something acceptable so their friends 1269 01:07:23,900 --> 01:07:26,220 won't think badly of them when they're asked about you. 1270 01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:27,820 You don't even live in your own house. 1271 01:07:27,900 --> 01:07:29,380 - You know what your problem is? - What? 1272 01:07:29,460 --> 01:07:30,940 You're a fucking pussy, Spence. Yeah. 1273 01:07:31,020 --> 01:07:34,100 You let people breathe down your neck and tell you what you should feel 1274 01:07:34,180 --> 01:07:37,340 and what you should be and what you should do with your life. 1275 01:07:37,420 --> 01:07:39,580 Grow up, and be a man. 1276 01:07:39,660 --> 01:07:41,660 All right, you know what? I'm done. 1277 01:07:44,260 --> 01:07:46,860 Uh, hey... 1278 01:07:46,940 --> 01:07:50,420 You know, I've always, I've always wondered 1279 01:07:50,500 --> 01:07:53,700 what it would be like to have my dick in a man. 1280 01:08:15,060 --> 01:08:17,020 I can explain. 1281 01:08:19,300 --> 01:08:21,180 Just get in. 1282 01:08:30,660 --> 01:08:32,660 Come on, let's go. 1283 01:08:32,740 --> 01:08:35,180 You, stay. 1284 01:08:58,620 --> 01:09:01,580 So goodbye, Susie. Goodbye. 1285 01:09:01,660 --> 01:09:03,260 - Jack. - Goodbye. 1286 01:09:03,340 --> 01:09:05,380 Jack, please. 1287 01:09:05,460 --> 01:09:07,900 Jack! Don't do this. 1288 01:09:13,260 --> 01:09:15,460 All right, Will, what do you have for me? 1289 01:09:15,540 --> 01:09:18,860 Next, State of California versus Holmes 1290 01:09:18,940 --> 01:09:20,940 and Hogan lll. 1291 01:09:33,820 --> 01:09:36,100 Representing ourselves, are we? 1292 01:09:57,780 --> 01:09:59,140 Uh-huh. 1293 01:09:59,220 --> 01:10:00,700 You're late, counsel. 1294 01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,300 Yes. Yes, uh... 1295 01:10:02,380 --> 01:10:04,220 How do your clients plead? 1296 01:10:04,300 --> 01:10:06,540 I think I have that. 1297 01:10:06,620 --> 01:10:08,380 Uh, just-- 1298 01:10:08,460 --> 01:10:09,660 - Not guilty, dude. - Not guilty. 1299 01:10:09,740 --> 01:10:11,700 Not guilty, dude. 1300 01:10:12,860 --> 01:10:14,900 Very well. 1301 01:10:14,980 --> 01:10:17,780 Your court date will be set for... 1302 01:10:19,060 --> 01:10:21,660 three weeks from today... 1303 01:10:21,740 --> 01:10:23,060 dude. 1304 01:10:23,140 --> 01:10:24,620 Next. 1305 01:10:29,940 --> 01:10:32,540 Hey-- hey, don't worry. 1306 01:10:32,620 --> 01:10:34,180 I've done all the research. 1307 01:10:34,260 --> 01:10:38,380 I think I can convince the judge to drop the charges. 1308 01:10:38,460 --> 01:10:40,820 See? 1309 01:10:40,900 --> 01:10:43,100 Karl, your shoes don't match. 1310 01:10:45,060 --> 01:10:46,780 Oh, fuck! 1311 01:10:46,860 --> 01:10:49,060 I hope the judge didn't notice. 1312 01:10:49,140 --> 01:10:50,980 Oh shit. I've gotta get back to work. 1313 01:10:51,060 --> 01:10:52,660 Archibald's gonna be on my ass. 1314 01:10:52,740 --> 01:10:55,180 Uh, bye. I'll see you later, Hogan. 1315 01:10:56,620 --> 01:10:59,420 Ah! Ha-ha! Hee-hee! 1316 01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:01,460 Think he was a wise choice for an attorney? 1317 01:11:01,540 --> 01:11:03,420 - He's a free choice. - Yeah. 1318 01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:05,260 See, it won't close. That's the problem. 1319 01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,340 - So how are you? - Good. 1320 01:11:09,420 --> 01:11:13,540 Yeah, I'm moving in with Amanda this weekend. 1321 01:11:13,620 --> 01:11:14,980 - Really? - Yeah. 1322 01:11:15,060 --> 01:11:17,260 She's been really supportive. 1323 01:11:17,340 --> 01:11:18,740 - Wow. - Yeah. 1324 01:11:19,740 --> 01:11:23,140 - Is that really what you want? - I don't know, Hogan. 1325 01:11:23,220 --> 01:11:27,220 I need to go to law school and get something going with my life. 1326 01:11:27,300 --> 01:11:29,420 - Yeah, well-- - Yeah. 1327 01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:31,540 Bye, Hogan. 1328 01:11:47,620 --> 01:11:48,860 Hey, Karl. 1329 01:11:48,940 --> 01:11:50,220 Hey. 1330 01:11:58,100 --> 01:12:00,060 Another one of those in the freezer? 1331 01:12:00,140 --> 01:12:01,980 Yeah, the Salisbury steak, it's all yours. 1332 01:12:02,060 --> 01:12:04,460 Nice distance. 1333 01:12:14,300 --> 01:12:18,180 So did the three-headed monster give you any shit about taking a long lunch? 1334 01:12:18,260 --> 01:12:19,780 No. 1335 01:12:19,860 --> 01:12:21,700 There was other stuff going on. 1336 01:12:24,820 --> 01:12:26,740 What other stuff? 1337 01:12:26,820 --> 01:12:29,060 What, they know-- they know you're a member? 1338 01:12:29,140 --> 01:12:30,980 - No. - What? 1339 01:12:31,060 --> 01:12:33,540 No way. They know about you and Archibald's wife? 1340 01:12:33,620 --> 01:12:36,660 No, they know about you and Conrad's wife. 1341 01:12:36,740 --> 01:12:38,060 - Shut up. - Yeah. 1342 01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:42,140 Yeah, I heard him say he's gonna divorce her, 1343 01:12:42,220 --> 01:12:44,700 and then he spent the rest of the day trying to find out 1344 01:12:44,780 --> 01:12:46,860 if you owned a car. 1345 01:12:46,940 --> 01:12:48,220 And when he found out you didn't, 1346 01:12:48,300 --> 01:12:50,500 he said it was a good thing, 'cause if you did, he'd find it, 1347 01:12:50,580 --> 01:12:52,580 plant a bomb in it, and quote, 1348 01:12:52,660 --> 01:12:54,460 "blow you beyond dental records." 1349 01:12:54,540 --> 01:12:56,260 He said that? 1350 01:12:56,340 --> 01:12:58,060 Uh-huh. 1351 01:12:58,140 --> 01:13:00,340 Well, that's a fucking bona fide terrorist threat, 1352 01:13:00,420 --> 01:13:02,180 punishable by like, 25 years. 1353 01:13:02,260 --> 01:13:04,460 I don't know. I could look it up. I don't know. 1354 01:13:04,540 --> 01:13:06,260 Think you could get him to say it again? 1355 01:13:06,340 --> 01:13:07,900 I don't know. 1356 01:13:07,980 --> 01:13:10,940 No, I know you don't know, but if I sent you in there with a body wire, 1357 01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:13,820 you could provoke him into repeating it, couldn't you, Karl? 1358 01:13:13,860 --> 01:13:16,260 Oh God. I don't know. I mean-- 1359 01:13:16,340 --> 01:13:18,340 you know what? Okay, I want to, but l-- 1360 01:13:18,420 --> 01:13:20,100 Karl, don't help me, okay? 1361 01:13:20,180 --> 01:13:21,940 Fuck me, this is about the club. 1362 01:13:22,020 --> 01:13:24,260 Where would you be without the club, Karl? I'll tell you where you'd be: 1363 01:13:24,340 --> 01:13:26,260 You're be fucking files Q through R. 1364 01:13:26,340 --> 01:13:27,820 Don't go back there. 1365 01:13:27,900 --> 01:13:30,100 The paper cuts haven't even healed yet, have they? 1366 01:13:31,660 --> 01:13:33,860 No. Come on. 1367 01:13:33,940 --> 01:13:36,780 From the top rope, baby. Top ropes. 1368 01:13:36,860 --> 01:13:37,900 Yes! 1369 01:13:37,980 --> 01:13:40,460 Come in! 1370 01:13:47,060 --> 01:13:49,980 Uh, hello, Mr. Stack. 1371 01:13:50,060 --> 01:13:53,140 Mr. Conrad, Mr. Archibald. 1372 01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:55,020 What do you want, douche bag? 1373 01:13:55,100 --> 01:13:57,100 May l... 1374 01:13:57,180 --> 01:13:59,780 you know... 1375 01:14:00,820 --> 01:14:03,220 How do you-- how do you do this? I don't know. 1376 01:14:03,300 --> 01:14:05,260 Ah-- oh! 1377 01:14:05,340 --> 01:14:08,140 All right, there we go. 1378 01:14:08,220 --> 01:14:11,860 Hmm, um... I just couldn't help but hear 1379 01:14:11,940 --> 01:14:14,300 your conversation yesterday about 1380 01:14:14,380 --> 01:14:16,900 Marshall Hogan and how he, 1381 01:14:16,980 --> 01:14:18,620 you know, did stuff with your wife. 1382 01:14:18,700 --> 01:14:20,540 What did you say about my wife? You don't understand! 1383 01:14:20,580 --> 01:14:22,580 Huh? I will rip your dick off 1384 01:14:22,660 --> 01:14:25,020 and shove it up your ass! You hear me, you scrawny little bastard? 1385 01:14:25,100 --> 01:14:26,300 No, I'm on your side. 1386 01:14:26,380 --> 01:14:28,940 Let's hear what the butt-licker has to say. 1387 01:14:34,780 --> 01:14:36,900 - Speak, Karl. - Okay. 1388 01:14:36,980 --> 01:14:40,460 Well... I saw him this morning. 1389 01:14:40,540 --> 01:14:42,700 So I couldn't help but notice that he had-- 1390 01:14:42,780 --> 01:14:46,380 he was driving this '91 convertible Camaro 1391 01:14:46,460 --> 01:14:49,780 that was red. And so I said, you know, "Hey, nice car." 1392 01:14:49,860 --> 01:14:51,460 And he said, you know, "Hell-- uh, thank you. 1393 01:14:51,540 --> 01:14:53,540 Yeah, it's brand new, I just got it today." 1394 01:14:53,620 --> 01:14:57,220 So, on impulse, I then took out my work pen-- 1395 01:14:57,300 --> 01:14:59,380 which I brought back-- 1396 01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:01,580 and I wrote down his license plate number 1397 01:15:01,660 --> 01:15:04,060 while he was driving away, because you said 1398 01:15:04,140 --> 01:15:08,540 that if he owned a car, you would-- 1399 01:15:08,620 --> 01:15:11,140 oh darn, what was it? 1400 01:15:11,220 --> 01:15:13,460 What-- what did you say? I ca-- I can't remember. 1401 01:15:13,540 --> 01:15:16,540 I said I'd put a bomb in it and blow him up beyond dental records. 1402 01:15:16,620 --> 01:15:18,940 Get to the fuckin' point, Karl! 1403 01:15:19,020 --> 01:15:22,420 I just thought you should know that he owns a car now. 1404 01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:24,860 And that... 1405 01:15:24,900 --> 01:15:27,420 this is his... 1406 01:15:27,500 --> 01:15:30,660 Iicense plate number and current address. 1407 01:15:30,740 --> 01:15:33,220 How nice of you, butt-licker. 1408 01:15:33,300 --> 01:15:35,580 - Way to look out for the team. - Oh. 1409 01:15:35,660 --> 01:15:37,660 Oh, thank you, Mr. Stack. 1410 01:15:41,580 --> 01:15:43,860 - Yes. - Hey, shit turd? 1411 01:15:43,940 --> 01:15:46,260 Why so forthcoming? 1412 01:15:46,340 --> 01:15:49,020 Uh-oh. Uh, well, 1413 01:15:49,100 --> 01:15:53,580 you know, my mom, she used to cheat on my father 1414 01:15:53,660 --> 01:15:55,020 - constantly. - Fucking slut. 1415 01:15:55,100 --> 01:15:57,580 No, she-- okay, all right, yeah. 1416 01:15:57,660 --> 01:15:59,820 She-- and I want, uh... 1417 01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:02,620 I don't want anyone to have to suffer that kind of indignity, 1418 01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:06,980 be it you, Mr. Stack, or Mr. Conrad, or for that matter, 1419 01:16:07,060 --> 01:16:09,460 Mr. Archibald. So... ah! 1420 01:16:09,540 --> 01:16:12,300 Ah! Ow, oh! 1421 01:16:12,380 --> 01:16:14,380 Go fuck yourself, Karl! 1422 01:16:14,460 --> 01:16:15,740 Thank you. 1423 01:16:19,140 --> 01:16:21,020 That's lunch. 1424 01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:22,740 All-you-can-eat sushi, strip bar. 1425 01:16:22,820 --> 01:16:23,940 In. 1426 01:16:26,580 --> 01:16:28,740 Thanks for letting us use your car. 1427 01:16:28,820 --> 01:16:32,660 I promise, bomb squad'll reverse anything before it explodes. 1428 01:16:32,740 --> 01:16:34,620 Oh, that's okay, baby. 1429 01:16:34,660 --> 01:16:37,180 I'm just glad I could be of some help. 1430 01:16:37,260 --> 01:16:38,980 That's my Gladys. 1431 01:16:39,060 --> 01:16:41,100 It's good to see you. 1432 01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:42,820 You too, Marshall. 1433 01:16:44,940 --> 01:16:47,700 Now, no bombs have been promised here, okay? 1434 01:16:47,780 --> 01:16:49,380 I just delivered the information. 1435 01:16:49,460 --> 01:16:51,860 There's no guarantee they're gonna use it at all. 1436 01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:55,740 I mean, the whole threat can be a threat, and-- 1437 01:16:55,780 --> 01:16:58,300 holy shit! 1438 01:16:58,380 --> 01:17:00,100 Fuck! They're here. 1439 01:17:00,180 --> 01:17:01,500 They're here. Fuck fuck! 1440 01:17:01,580 --> 01:17:04,060 Look at this, fuck! Oh my fucking God. 1441 01:17:04,140 --> 01:17:06,620 My God. Oh my... 1442 01:17:06,700 --> 01:17:08,220 Look at that fucking-- look. 1443 01:17:08,300 --> 01:17:10,500 - Holy shit. - Go go go. 1444 01:17:10,580 --> 01:17:14,660 Oh my God. I am gonna shit my pants. 1445 01:17:14,740 --> 01:17:16,300 Oh! 1446 01:17:16,380 --> 01:17:19,300 No, Lord! They meant it! They actually meant it! 1447 01:17:19,380 --> 01:17:21,420 Shh! Of course they meant it. 1448 01:17:21,500 --> 01:17:24,260 You ever see what happens to people in the divorce who aren't their clients? 1449 01:17:24,340 --> 01:17:26,540 - Now calm your shit down. - There are two of them. 1450 01:17:26,620 --> 01:17:29,100 No no no, I think that one's a monkey or something. 1451 01:17:29,180 --> 01:17:31,180 You think it's Mr. Stack and Mr. Conrad? 1452 01:17:31,260 --> 01:17:33,700 - They might have hired people. - Circus people. 1453 01:17:33,780 --> 01:17:35,980 Yeah. 1454 01:17:37,980 --> 01:17:40,780 Oh, they're highly organized. 1455 01:17:45,740 --> 01:17:47,300 Freeze, you little freak! 1456 01:17:47,380 --> 01:17:49,580 They got 'em. 1457 01:17:49,660 --> 01:17:51,940 You're going down! 1458 01:17:52,020 --> 01:17:54,300 I swear to God I'll blow your brains out! 1459 01:17:56,460 --> 01:17:58,020 Ah! 1460 01:17:58,100 --> 01:18:00,460 Hey, don't move there! 1461 01:18:00,540 --> 01:18:02,500 I had no-- l-- I didn't call them. 1462 01:18:02,580 --> 01:18:05,620 Oh yeah, that's the baby. 1463 01:18:05,700 --> 01:18:08,260 - Don't do it! - Down down down down down! 1464 01:18:08,340 --> 01:18:10,060 Gun down! Right now! 1465 01:18:17,700 --> 01:18:19,020 Shit! 1466 01:18:20,060 --> 01:18:21,540 Mommy. 1467 01:18:21,620 --> 01:18:24,540 - Down down down down down! - Ah! 1468 01:18:26,100 --> 01:18:28,660 Down down down down down! 1469 01:18:37,060 --> 01:18:38,860 Spencey, will you get that? 1470 01:18:38,940 --> 01:18:41,140 I'm on the phone with the wedding planner. 1471 01:18:42,860 --> 01:18:44,900 Hold on a second, Rita. Spence? 1472 01:18:44,980 --> 01:18:47,100 I thought he didn't have our address. 1473 01:18:47,180 --> 01:18:48,500 - Please, just-- - I want him gone. 1474 01:18:48,580 --> 01:18:49,660 - Okay. - I mean it! 1475 01:18:49,740 --> 01:18:52,420 - Okay! - Sorry. Mom gave me the address. 1476 01:18:52,500 --> 01:18:55,260 I... figured she would. 1477 01:18:55,340 --> 01:18:56,940 Hi. 1478 01:18:57,020 --> 01:18:58,460 Thanks. Oh. 1479 01:19:03,420 --> 01:19:06,060 - Really? - Yeah. 1480 01:19:06,140 --> 01:19:09,020 She's thrilled. It's really-- 1481 01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:10,940 it's a dream come true. 1482 01:19:11,020 --> 01:19:13,660 - Well, congratulations, Spence. - Thanks. 1483 01:19:13,740 --> 01:19:16,060 Red roses? No no, nobody said anything about red roses. 1484 01:19:16,140 --> 01:19:18,820 I want perfect white calla lilies. 1485 01:19:18,900 --> 01:19:21,180 Write it down! 1486 01:19:21,260 --> 01:19:23,740 - And I'm going to law school. - Really? That's great. 1487 01:19:23,820 --> 01:19:26,260 Yeah, Baker accepted me a while ago, so I'm gonna go. 1488 01:19:26,340 --> 01:19:27,660 I mean, it's not Yale, 1489 01:19:27,740 --> 01:19:29,500 but hey, my dad understands 1490 01:19:29,580 --> 01:19:31,940 - and Amanda's all for it. - Yeah. 1491 01:19:32,020 --> 01:19:35,220 Well, I'll get out of you two lovebirds' hair in just a minute, 1492 01:19:35,300 --> 01:19:37,700 but l-- I just wanted to see your face 1493 01:19:37,780 --> 01:19:39,540 when I showed you this. 1494 01:19:47,380 --> 01:19:49,060 No way. 1495 01:19:49,140 --> 01:19:51,140 And get-- 1496 01:19:51,220 --> 01:19:54,100 get this-- they searched Conrad's desk. 1497 01:19:54,180 --> 01:19:56,300 They found one of our Cougar Club folders. 1498 01:19:56,380 --> 01:19:59,180 Those bastards knew about our extravaganza all along. 1499 01:19:59,260 --> 01:20:00,940 The whole thing was a setup. 1500 01:20:01,020 --> 01:20:02,740 Oh my gosh. What does Karl say? 1501 01:20:02,820 --> 01:20:04,620 Well, in light of what's happened, 1502 01:20:04,700 --> 01:20:06,460 he's arranged a little meeting with Judge Emerson 1503 01:20:06,540 --> 01:20:09,420 to review our case. And he wants to talk with us right now. 1504 01:20:12,060 --> 01:20:14,700 Everything's gonna be fine. 1505 01:20:14,780 --> 01:20:16,940 Hey, I'll call you back. 1506 01:20:17,020 --> 01:20:18,820 Hi. Hey. 1507 01:20:18,900 --> 01:20:20,380 - Hey. - Where the hell are you going? 1508 01:20:20,460 --> 01:20:23,060 I... just gotta go meet my lawyer. 1509 01:20:23,140 --> 01:20:24,140 With him? 1510 01:20:24,220 --> 01:20:26,380 - Well, yeah. - L... 1511 01:20:27,660 --> 01:20:30,180 Spence, I thought we talked about this. 1512 01:20:30,260 --> 01:20:33,300 If you want to be married to me, then no more Hogan-- 1513 01:20:33,380 --> 01:20:34,540 permanently! 1514 01:20:34,620 --> 01:20:36,940 Fuck you, bitch. 1515 01:20:40,900 --> 01:20:42,780 Oh. 1516 01:20:42,820 --> 01:20:45,460 Mwah! 1517 01:20:45,540 --> 01:20:47,180 I'm sorry, Amanda. 1518 01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:49,860 I mean, l-- I never even asked you to marry me. 1519 01:20:49,940 --> 01:20:51,940 Here. 1520 01:20:53,900 --> 01:20:56,340 Wait. 1521 01:20:56,420 --> 01:20:59,820 But wait, Spence, but-- you complete me! 1522 01:20:59,900 --> 01:21:02,180 - God, I almost did that, didn't l? - Yeah. 1523 01:21:02,260 --> 01:21:05,340 Shake it off, brother. The bullet to the forehead's been dodged. 1524 01:21:05,420 --> 01:21:09,060 Spence! Come back! Ahh! 1525 01:21:09,140 --> 01:21:11,540 So what's the deal with this judge? 1526 01:21:11,620 --> 01:21:14,780 Margaret Emerson. You saw her at the plea hearing. 1527 01:21:14,860 --> 01:21:17,500 She's a nasty one, real ball-breaker type. 1528 01:21:17,580 --> 01:21:22,060 But when she heard about the recent arrest at the law firm, 1529 01:21:22,140 --> 01:21:24,300 the almost-certain setup at the hotel, 1530 01:21:24,380 --> 01:21:26,180 she seemed intrigued. 1531 01:21:26,260 --> 01:21:27,740 Oh. 1532 01:21:27,820 --> 01:21:29,380 Oh shit. 1533 01:21:29,460 --> 01:21:31,580 Excuse me, I've gotta-- 1534 01:21:31,660 --> 01:21:34,540 um, you know what? If she comes in, 1535 01:21:34,620 --> 01:21:37,620 just tell her I'll be right back, okay? 1536 01:21:39,900 --> 01:21:41,700 Karl, man. 1537 01:21:41,780 --> 01:21:44,020 That's coming from your anal cavity. 1538 01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:46,180 Just take an orange pill, it's in the briefcase. 1539 01:21:46,260 --> 01:21:49,380 No, that's okay. It's gonna be the last time. 1540 01:22:01,220 --> 01:22:04,900 Spencer Holmes and Marshall Hogan lll. 1541 01:22:04,980 --> 01:22:07,300 - Yes, ma'am. - Yes, ma'am. 1542 01:22:09,260 --> 01:22:11,100 Sit down. 1543 01:22:30,380 --> 01:22:32,220 So... 1544 01:22:32,300 --> 01:22:35,340 I'm supposed to believe that you two punks 1545 01:22:35,420 --> 01:22:37,060 started a club 1546 01:22:37,140 --> 01:22:41,540 so you could hook up with old broads like me. 1547 01:22:41,620 --> 01:22:44,100 Well, are there really any other broads to hook up with? 1548 01:22:45,980 --> 01:22:49,540 Your Honor? May I call you Margaret? 1549 01:22:49,620 --> 01:22:52,740 Margaret, I'm looking at you right now 1550 01:22:52,820 --> 01:22:54,820 and all I want to do 1551 01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:57,420 is just jump over this table 1552 01:22:57,500 --> 01:23:00,100 and go to town. I mean, you are a goddess, 1553 01:23:00,180 --> 01:23:02,140 and I'm sorry if I'm, like, overstepping the bounds 1554 01:23:02,220 --> 01:23:03,500 of polite society here, 1555 01:23:03,580 --> 01:23:06,460 but I would make love to you all day and all night, 1556 01:23:06,540 --> 01:23:09,340 until you screamed with an unbearable ecstasy 1557 01:23:09,420 --> 01:23:11,020 - like you've never felt before. - And we, we-- 1558 01:23:11,100 --> 01:23:13,060 we want to be very clear. In no way did we ever 1559 01:23:13,140 --> 01:23:15,580 exchange money for sex in our organization. 1560 01:23:15,660 --> 01:23:19,180 We charged membership fees. No different than, uh, meetmart.net 1561 01:23:19,260 --> 01:23:21,380 or Christdate.net for that matter. 1562 01:23:21,460 --> 01:23:23,820 It's just that our target was a little more specific, 1563 01:23:23,900 --> 01:23:25,140 - one could say. - Margaret, 1564 01:23:25,220 --> 01:23:26,580 I'm gonna venture a guess here. 1565 01:23:26,660 --> 01:23:29,060 If I were to come around this table and gently caress 1566 01:23:29,140 --> 01:23:31,980 the back of your neck with my tongue... 1567 01:23:33,300 --> 01:23:35,740 a slight chill would run down your spine? 1568 01:23:35,820 --> 01:23:37,780 Might. 1569 01:23:37,860 --> 01:23:39,740 Wow. Ma'am, this is no pimp operation. 1570 01:23:39,820 --> 01:23:41,380 - No ma'am, no ma'am. - We assure you, it's-- 1571 01:23:41,460 --> 01:23:44,020 No ma'am, we're bona fide businessmen with a goal to expand our website 1572 01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:46,420 which-- yes, we have a website now. 1573 01:23:46,500 --> 01:23:48,260 Eventually we plan to have a magazine 1574 01:23:48,340 --> 01:23:49,860 and then we'll tour around the country, 1575 01:23:49,940 --> 01:23:52,140 branching out to all the major metropolitan areas, 1576 01:23:52,220 --> 01:23:54,220 all so that we can become acquainted 1577 01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:55,900 with women such as yourself. 1578 01:23:55,980 --> 01:23:58,460 So sublime, so lush, 1579 01:23:58,540 --> 01:24:00,860 - seasoned, exquisite. - Really? 1580 01:24:00,940 --> 01:24:02,060 Yeah. 1581 01:24:02,140 --> 01:24:04,500 What about your partner? Does he feel the same way? 1582 01:24:04,580 --> 01:24:06,300 This guy? 1583 01:24:06,380 --> 01:24:08,420 This guy. Oh my God. And then some. 1584 01:24:08,500 --> 01:24:10,900 Yeah. Ha. 1585 01:24:10,980 --> 01:24:13,100 Prove it. 1586 01:24:14,500 --> 01:24:16,540 What-- oh. 1587 01:24:34,140 --> 01:24:36,060 You drink whiskey 1588 01:24:36,140 --> 01:24:39,340 But I drink wine 1589 01:24:41,580 --> 01:24:45,700 You wear the watch, but I keep the time 1590 01:24:49,820 --> 01:24:52,420 You're so delicious 1591 01:24:52,500 --> 01:24:56,460 But I'm tasty, yeah 1592 01:24:58,220 --> 01:25:01,060 You may be fine 1593 01:25:01,140 --> 01:25:05,820 But I'm sexy, baby 1594 01:25:05,900 --> 01:25:10,740 You may be fine, but I'm sexy 1595 01:25:10,820 --> 01:25:15,220 You may be cute, but I'm sexy 1596 01:25:15,300 --> 01:25:18,980 You may be pretty, but I'm sexy 1597 01:25:19,060 --> 01:25:22,740 But I'm sexy, but I'm... 1598 01:25:22,820 --> 01:25:27,300 You may be fine, but I'm sexy 1599 01:25:27,380 --> 01:25:28,420 You may be cute... 1600 01:25:28,500 --> 01:25:30,100 Congratulations, Karl. 1601 01:25:30,180 --> 01:25:32,900 A few more cases, you can actually get a car from the 21st century. 1602 01:25:32,980 --> 01:25:34,780 Yeah! And a new bike. 1603 01:25:34,860 --> 01:25:36,180 - Stop the car, stop the car. - What? 1604 01:25:36,260 --> 01:25:37,860 - Why? Why? - Hmm? 1605 01:25:37,940 --> 01:25:41,140 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 1606 01:25:43,180 --> 01:25:45,700 - I'm not gonna waste gas. - Just give me one second. 1607 01:25:45,780 --> 01:25:47,540 - Okay. - Let us dream. 1608 01:25:48,540 --> 01:25:50,060 Hey. 1609 01:25:53,940 --> 01:25:56,100 I'm sorry that I haven't returned your phone calls. 1610 01:25:56,180 --> 01:25:58,620 I-- I've just been swamped 1611 01:25:58,700 --> 01:26:00,740 with getting my real estate license. 1612 01:26:00,820 --> 01:26:04,100 It's great to see you. I didn't know if I ever would again. 1613 01:26:04,180 --> 01:26:05,900 I'm glad you're okay. 1614 01:26:05,980 --> 01:26:07,820 Yeah yeah. 1615 01:26:07,900 --> 01:26:11,420 We're having a party Saturday night, if you're interested. 1616 01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:14,580 It's at 8:00. I'd love to see you. 1617 01:26:16,100 --> 01:26:17,500 Yeah. 1618 01:26:17,580 --> 01:26:19,460 Sounds good. 1619 01:26:19,540 --> 01:26:21,060 Good. 1620 01:26:21,140 --> 01:26:22,980 Maybe. 1621 01:26:24,740 --> 01:26:26,420 Okay, bye. 1622 01:26:37,980 --> 01:26:39,340 Let's go... 1623 01:26:41,420 --> 01:26:43,900 Whoa! 1624 01:26:43,980 --> 01:26:46,180 Here we go, here we go. 1625 01:26:48,820 --> 01:26:50,660 - Whoa. - Nice nice. 1626 01:26:50,740 --> 01:26:53,660 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Ho. 1627 01:26:53,740 --> 01:26:57,020 To Stack, Conrad and Archibald. 1628 01:26:57,100 --> 01:26:59,380 Cheers! 1629 01:26:59,460 --> 01:27:01,060 Bastards. 1630 01:27:02,060 --> 01:27:04,620 - To Cougar Club! - Cheers! 1631 01:27:04,700 --> 01:27:06,300 - Oh! - Whoo! 1632 01:27:06,380 --> 01:27:08,100 - Cougar Club! - Damn it, Karl. 1633 01:27:10,380 --> 01:27:12,500 I'm feeling it. Mmm! 1634 01:27:15,940 --> 01:27:17,540 Take a look around. 1635 01:27:17,620 --> 01:27:21,220 This is what can happen when you dare to say yes. 1636 01:27:22,340 --> 01:27:24,300 Couldn't have done it without you. 1637 01:27:26,260 --> 01:27:29,020 True, man. There's so many ways to say yes. 1638 01:27:29,100 --> 01:27:32,140 Yeah, uh-huh, yep, 1639 01:27:32,220 --> 01:27:34,380 all right, okay, sure. 1640 01:27:34,460 --> 01:27:35,900 It's not even like foreign languages. 1641 01:27:35,980 --> 01:27:36,980 Hey, Karl. Drink up. 1642 01:27:37,060 --> 01:27:38,620 Thanks, buddy. 1643 01:27:41,660 --> 01:27:44,540 I can't believe it. She's here. 1644 01:27:47,140 --> 01:27:49,060 - Go go go. - I'll be right back. 1645 01:27:49,140 --> 01:27:52,020 Let's go, let's go dancing 1646 01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:54,300 Let's go running... 1647 01:27:54,380 --> 01:27:57,300 I am so happy that you're here. 1648 01:27:57,380 --> 01:27:59,380 I wouldn't have missed it. 1649 01:27:59,460 --> 01:28:01,860 Let's go dancing 1650 01:28:01,940 --> 01:28:04,420 Let's go running 1651 01:28:04,500 --> 01:28:07,500 Let's go 1652 01:28:07,580 --> 01:28:10,780 - Whoa! - Cougar Club! 1653 01:28:13,780 --> 01:28:17,620 Oh my boys, I'm so proud of both of you. 1654 01:28:17,700 --> 01:28:20,260 This is what you've worked so hard for, 1655 01:28:20,340 --> 01:28:22,380 and I know it's what you've always wanted. 1656 01:28:22,460 --> 01:28:24,340 - Oh. - Oh, thanks, Mom. 1657 01:28:24,420 --> 01:28:28,100 - Thanks, Mom. - Good luck, boys. 1658 01:28:28,180 --> 01:28:30,220 Eh, now you're men. 1659 01:28:30,300 --> 01:28:31,780 Go and be wise. 1660 01:28:31,860 --> 01:28:33,340 - Yeah. - Thanks, Dad. 1661 01:28:35,340 --> 01:28:37,660 Not again. Honey, where are the orange pills? 1662 01:28:37,740 --> 01:28:39,140 - Uh, kitchen. - Sorry. 1663 01:28:40,140 --> 01:28:42,220 Go sow your seed! 1664 01:28:42,300 --> 01:28:43,980 - Thanks, Dad. - All right. 1665 01:28:44,060 --> 01:28:45,820 - Cookies. - Oh. 1666 01:28:45,900 --> 01:28:48,780 Mom, just how I like 'em. 1667 01:28:50,780 --> 01:28:52,620 All right. 1668 01:28:52,700 --> 01:28:54,500 Bye, Mom. 1669 01:28:54,580 --> 01:28:55,860 Bye. 1670 01:29:00,420 --> 01:29:01,900 Yeah! 1671 01:29:05,020 --> 01:29:07,420 She's ready to roll, boys. 1672 01:29:07,500 --> 01:29:09,060 - I love you boys! - Later, Mom. 1673 01:29:09,140 --> 01:29:10,740 Bye! 1674 01:29:10,820 --> 01:29:11,820 Be careful! 1675 01:29:11,900 --> 01:29:13,820 Liberate me 1676 01:29:13,900 --> 01:29:16,500 - Liberate me... - Mm-hmm! 1677 01:29:16,580 --> 01:29:21,500 Liberate me, liberate me... 1678 01:29:21,580 --> 01:29:23,060 Bye, Mom! 1679 01:29:23,140 --> 01:29:26,860 Around the sun 1680 01:29:26,940 --> 01:29:29,380 On the run 1681 01:29:29,460 --> 01:29:31,060 Nothing can stop me... 1682 01:29:31,140 --> 01:29:33,340 Adios, amigos! 1683 01:29:33,420 --> 01:29:34,500 From having my fun 1684 01:29:34,580 --> 01:29:37,100 Liberate me 1685 01:29:37,180 --> 01:29:42,420 Liberate me, liberate me 1686 01:29:42,500 --> 01:29:44,860 Liberate me 1687 01:29:45,860 --> 01:29:50,300 Liberate me, liberate me. 1688 01:29:52,100 --> 01:29:54,980 Mom and Dad are home and they're with Barry Stack. 1689 01:29:55,060 --> 01:29:56,020 - Fuck! - Fuck! 1690 01:29:56,100 --> 01:29:57,660 Fuck! 1691 01:31:07,020 --> 01:31:08,860 Ah! 1692 01:31:10,380 --> 01:31:11,660 Ooh. 1693 01:31:15,780 --> 01:31:17,820 - Uh... - Sorry! 1694 01:31:18,860 --> 01:31:19,060 Liberate me, liberate me 1695 01:31:26,100 --> 01:31:29,140 Around the sun 1696 01:31:29,220 --> 01:31:31,580 On the run 1697 01:31:31,660 --> 01:31:34,500 Nothing can stop me 1698 01:31:34,580 --> 01:31:37,100 From having my fun 1699 01:31:37,180 --> 01:31:41,420 Liberate me, liberate me 1700 01:31:42,580 --> 01:31:46,820 Liberate me, liberate me 1701 01:31:48,300 --> 01:31:52,500 Liberate me, liberate me. 1702 01:33:29,220 --> 01:33:31,180 Ah! 1703 01:33:31,260 --> 01:33:34,020 Mmm. Nuh-uh. 122098

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