Original subtitles

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Candid Capers. This is the program which photographs people in

amusing and embarrassing scenes and then shows them to the television audience.

Our photographer is returning with a new set of pictures.

Allow me to explain how our program works.

Our photographer goes into nightclubs, hotels or parked cars and snaps these

candid pictures.

We then show the photographs on television and everyone has a good

This first picture was snapped in a dark corner of the Nouveau Po coffee

house and shows Mr.

Andrew Spearmath and Miss Gertrude O.

Oh, there's something on this one, excuse me.

It's from Mr.

Spearman.

I see.

Candid Capers loves a good laugh, but we certainly wouldn't want to cause any

misunderstandings.

Apparently, all he could find on which to write his note was a hundred dollar

bill. While I go through these pictures, perhaps you'd like to look at the

following more...

All more photography. Thank you.

A fellow Rembrandt, he couldn't do much better than that, could he?

No, sir.

There you are.

Now you've got the fanciest doghouse in town.

Boy, I bet those other pooches are going to be jealous, huh?

Nothing's too good for my little Annie.

You know what I'm going to do next winter?

I'm going to put a regular little heater in there for you. I bet you'll like

that, huh?

What's the matter, old girl?

Where's that old zip? Don't you feel so well?

Well, are you coming in to dinner or aren't you?

I'm coming, I'm coming. I just wanted to finish up the painting.

Looks pretty good.

Want to take a look?

It's a fine time to be painting.

And you with your good suit on.

Come on, girl.

Look at that jacket.

Think I can afford dry cleaning every other day?

Why don't you do that stuff on weekends like other men do?

Other men don't have a dog like Annie.

You know, I don't think Annie feels so well.

She hasn't got that old zip.

Well, what do you expect of an old dog?

She's no puppy anymore.

Well, she's been moping around a lot.

Maybe she was.

You know what I think?

I think she needs exercise.

I ought to take her to the park more.

Why don't you take her to dinner and a show?

Wouldn't think of taking me to the park, would you? That's different.

You bet your life it's different.

You don't think I get sick and tired of it?

Watching you treat that dog like she was a, I don't know, Queen of Sheba.

You don't come home from work to see me.

You come home to see Annie.

You starting that again?

Annie eats better than we do.

She goes to the vet more times than I go to the doctor.

And me that really needs it with my back.

You got any pepper?

It's Annie this, Annie that.

I need to have a fire in this house. I don't know who you'd rescue first.

Oh, come on now, Thelma.

You know you like the dog, too.

Like?

Like's one thing.

It's more than just like with you.

Here.

Well, take it.

Take it.

She doesn't want any meat.

She didn't eat any breakfast this morning either.

Maybe she just doesn't like it.

Maybe it's my cooking.

Maybe she don't like that.

I didn't say that. Now, come on, Thelma. Sit down. There's something I want to

tell you.

Something happened at the office this morning.

Mr. McGregor called me in.

He wants me to go to the Cleveland branch.

You?

What for?

Well, one of the department heads out there got sick, and they don't know how

long he'll be out.

He was working on a market research project for one of our big clients.

So? So they want me to go on out there and finish up the job.

I don't know how long it'll take, two or three days maybe.

What do you think of that?

Looks very nice.

For you.

Well, it is sort of flattering. I mean, it's an important project.

Anything so that I'm the right man to handle a job.

When are you supposed to leave?

I'm to catch the plane at 9 o 'clock in the morning.

I'll have to pack tonight.

Well, don't forget your pills and stuff.

Well, I guess I'd better get started. Come on, girl.

I'm back.

How are you, Ned? How was the trip?

Well, it was just fine. It was okay.

Well, let me take that. No, that's all right. I can manage it.

You must be awfully tired, dear. I made you some coffee.

Good.

Annie must be getting deaf in her old age.

I thought sure she'd be barking when I pulled up in that taxi.

Feels like I've been away a year.

Everything all right here?

What is it?

What's happened?

Ned. Well, what is it, for Pete's sake?

You're acting awful funny, or you're sorry I came home or something?

I've got bad news about Annie.

What's wrong?

What's the matter with Annie?

But is Annie sick?

Is she at the vets?

Oh, what is it, Thelma?

It happened two days after you left.

She was acting funny.

You saw the way she was acting. She'd just quit eating. I had to force the

on her.

And then one night, Friday it was, she was lying on the floor under the

dining table.

She was breathing heavy.

And then she began to whimper like she was having a bad dream.

And then she got up.

She came over to me and stood

in front of me looking at me.

Making that funny little whimpering noise like she had to go out or

And then she collapsed.

She just fell over and lay there.

I bent over her, but she didn't move.

She wasn't even breathing.

I tried to pick her up, but she weighed a ton.

She wasn't even breathing then.

I touched her.

I didn't feel anything, no heartbeat, anything like that.

Did you call Dr. Chaff?

Did you call a vet?

She was gone then. She was dead.

She just stopped living, that's all it was.

I called Mr.

Doyle next door, and he said there was nothing I could do about it.

Nothing I could do but... But bury poor Annie.

He said that he wished that he could help me, but he was sick in bed with a

cold. He said that I should just take Annie out in the woods and bury her.

Did you call Shaft?

Did you tell him what was happening?

It was ten o 'clock, even later. Nobody was open that late.

What did you do?

I did what Mr. Doyle said.

I went out into the woods, not too far.

I dug a hole.

I put Annie in it. I covered her up and came back to the house.

It was the only thing I could do.

You did that?

It was the only sensible thing, Ned.

I couldn't just leave her live there.

You buried her?

Yes.

You buried my dog?

Not enough for sure.

Do you know what you did?

You buried Annie alive.

You buried my dog alive.

I didn't. I didn't.

She was dead.

She was 13, Ned. She was old.

Dr. Chaff said she was like a 90 -year -old woman.

You buried my dog alive.

Ned?

Yes, son.

Ned, he's here.

Who's here?

Dr. Chaff.

I told you he was coming over this afternoon. Will you see him, please?

Yes, sure I will, son.

Come in, doctor.

Mr. Malley.

I understand you've been away on a business trip.

Been to Cleveland, I hear.

Nice town, Cleveland.

My daughter married a Cleveland boy.

Won't you sit down, Doctor?

Oh, thank you, Mr. Malley.

Mr. Malley, it's really too bad about your dog.

Fine animal.

I always liked Kerry Blues.

Your wife told me about all that happened.

About how upset you were.

I just want to reassure you that...

Well, she did absolutely the right thing.

The dog was old, you know. Thirteen years is very old for a dog.

I'm sure there was no doubt about his being dead.

She was a her.

Annie was a her.

Why, yes, of course.

Well,

anyway, I just wanted you to know that Mrs. Malley did the right thing by

burying her.

The only sensible thing.

You're a vet, Dr. Chaff.

You ought to know whether a dog's dead or alive.

Yes, naturally.

But my wife, she isn't a vet, is she?

Well, I really don't think there's any question.

But you don't really know, do you?

Because you weren't here.

Nobody really knows whether Andy was dead or alive.

Because nobody was here except my wife.

You see my point?

Mrs. Malley, I... It's all right, Doctor.

You did your best.

I'm sorry.

Thank you for coming, Doctor.

You can put your shirt on now.

Is something bothering you?

Perhaps a business worry, something like that?

No, it's nothing like that, Doctor. It's just the sleep.

That's my problem.

Well, you need your rest, no doubt about that. We all do.

Those sleeping pills you gave me the last time I was here, I'm all out of

It might be better if you could try getting along without them.

I've got to get some sleep, Doctor. If I could just get some sleep, I'm sure I'd

feel better.

All right, Mr. Malley, I'll give you another prescription.

But use them only when you feel it's really necessary.

I will, Doctor.

Only when necessary.

Ned.

Yes, Thelma?

There's something I want to tell you.

Is it about Annie?

In a way.

I spoke to Dr.

Chaff again, and he says that... Thelma, don't.

Don't talk about it.

I don't want to hear another word.

But we can't go on like this.

You make me feel so... There's no sense crying about it. It's all over and done

with.

Well, I can't help it.

Annie's dead and that's all there is to it.

Just won't ever mention the subject again.

All right?

Do you mean that, Nat?

Of course I mean it.

Forget all about Annie.

Just like she never existed.

How about a nice cup of hot chocolate?

No, no, thank you, Ned. I think I'll get some when I go to bed.

Have some now.

I'd like some myself.

I'll even fix it.

You?

Well, all right, Ned, if you want to.

Is it all right?

Yes, yes, it's just fine.

Ned, there is something I want to tell you.

It isn't too sweet.

No, no, no, it's fine.

Ned. You know, that clock needs winding.

I'll bet it hasn't been a while since I left.

Ned, I... I feel so tired all of a sudden.

Maybe you ought to lie down a while.

No, no. It's too early to go to bed.

Maybe if I... Maybe if I got some fresh air.

I feel so woozy.

No.

You've just been knitting too much. Your eyes are tired.

Matt, I think I'm going to faint.

No, no.

You're going to be all right.

You just go in and lie down.

I think I'd better.

Matt, I feel awful.

Matt, I feel sick.

No, you'll be all right.

You just sit down here, lie back, and go to sleep.

Close your eyes.

Go to sleep.

Maybe we'd better call somebody.

A doctor.

We don't need a doctor.

A doctor wouldn't do you any good now.

It's too late for that.

What do you mean?

What do you mean, too late?

Why, it's just too late.

over in a few minutes, Thelma.

What are you talking about?

I gave you something in your hot chocolate tonight.

That's why you're feeling this way.

You gave me something?

I went to see Dr. Prentice today and he gave me a prescription for some sleeping

pills. A whole bottle full of them.

And they were all in your chocolate, Thelma.

Every single one.

Don't try and fight it, Thelma.

It's too late to do anything about it now.

There isn't a thing they can do.

Just like they couldn't do anything for poor Annie.

You know what might even happen?

You may not be dead when I finally decide to call somebody.

You may only be sleeping.

Maybe they won't even hear your heartbeat.

Like you didn't hear Annie's.

Maybe they won't even know you're still alive.

And they may bury you too.

Just like you buried Annie out there.

Alive.

That's what might happen.

Please.

Help me.

Just lie still, Thelma.

Don't make it any harder for yourself.

It's going to be hard enough when they put that dirt over you.

When they start to cover up that grave and you're in it.

Alive.

That's going to be hard, Thelma.

Just like it was for Annie.

Oh! Oh!

You think she'll be able to talk now?

You could try.

Mrs. Malley.

You're going to be all right now, ma 'am. All you have to do now is just take

easy.

Dad.

My husband.

Well, I'm afraid this is going to be bad news.

Mrs. Malley... Patrolman Davis found your husband in the backyard.

He must have fallen.

He struck his head on the concrete and... Well, he's dead, Mrs. Malley. I'm

sorry.

He's dead?

It was your neighbor, Mr. Doyle, who phoned us. He heard a racket in your

backyard and thought it must have been a prowler.

It's lucky for you that he did.

Look, Mrs. Malley, I know you don't feel much like talking now, but there's

something we have to know.

How about that overdose you took, those sleeping pills?

He's dead.

He's dead.

Then he never even knew.

Knew what, Mrs. Malley?

He never knew about the dog.

It was Dr. Chaff's idea to get him another Kerry Blue, just like the one

died, just like Annie, to make him feel better.

I'm going to revive him tonight.

Would you believe it?

We don't have a single photograph to show you.

I shall tell you more of this in just a moment.

That concludes our show for tonight.

As for candid tapers, we have added a new feature.

The telephone tapping hour.

We hope this will be even more entertaining and profitable.

So until next week, good night.