Original subtitles

Good evening, brothers and sisters.

This evening's story is concerned with higher education, specifically with

members of Greek letter fraternities. I presume there are fraternities for other

nationalities as well.

This is a fraternity paddle.

Apparently they have very small canoes.

In keeping with tonight's theme, we shall first see a short educational film

then a story.

As the story opens, you will find the students hard at work, wrestling with

complex problems which face man in his never -ending quest for truth.

I have ground.

Poor relatives exist.

The play's the thing.

Warren, I'll catch the coxswains of the king.

Oh, give it up, Mark, baby. The play's the thing, but not at a party.

Oh, Robert, this is the last of the beer at your place. I think you should

inform Senior that he's letting down the youth of America by neglecting his

larder. If I don't get my lines memorized this time, old Barrington's

laugh off this empty head I've grown fond of. Oh, we can't all be boy genius

valedictorian like dear Alan here.

Fellas, honey, why don't you get off my back?

You have such a pretty back, darling.

The last day of the semester.

What do you say, a truce? Me and you not waving axes?

Not exactly waving an axe at the moment.

You know, fellas, the trouble with you is that you want to crucify anything you

can't have.

And you were supposed to have left that behind at the age of six, according to

Freud. Meaning I wanted you?

Meaning that you just can't bear the idea that I'm not falling on my face

running after you, dear.

I think we had the right idea in the first place.

Get drunk.

Stay drunk.

Forget about final.

Here, here, Mark.

What about that beer drinking bout between you and Alan? I'm still betting

tops you, you know.

They can't be found and Alan tops me in any... That's quite a rash statement,

isn't it, Alan?

Keep trying, baby. You may still reach me.

I've come to a conclusion.

Everybody listen. Franklin has a conclusion.

We tried too hard. Hear, hear. Our leader speaks.

We're not the lost generation. We're the stupid generation.

All men.

Rocks in our heads.

Rattling around. Agreed? We tried too hard to entertain ourselves.

To be different.

I am different.

Alan, old son? Yes, old man.

Come.

Prove your manhood.

Ah, the battle of the beer.

Come on.

Be my guest, old buddy. Be my guest.

I know. The challenger goes first, right?

You said you could drink a full pitcher without stopping.

I said I'd follow suit if you could do it. Without stopping, I mind you.

I have been challenged.

Hold my glass.

Mind over matter, as Franklin would put it.

Down the hatch. It makes me slightly ill even to look at that much beer.

Robert, you have a patient.

Well, here we go.

And yea, the children amused themselves.

Poorly, through lack of direction.

Thank you.

No, it's a little conceit of my own.

Steady, boy, steady.

Ah, a boy with courage, huh?

You'll never...

will do anything he sets out to do, won't you, darling?

Speak about a hollow leg.

You can talk about two hollow legs and not be very far wrong.

Come on, Alan, it's almost there!

There we go!

Alan, bravo!

Well,

old buddy, it's your turn now.

That's all right, old chap.

I know what I'm like.

You don't slide out of it that easily.

I concede, old man. I concede.

What are you trying to do, make a jackass out of me, huh?

No. You're picking up the marbles, chum.

You're wearing the blue ribbon.

You've won.

That's not the point, old buddy.

Nothing gained by just one of us doing this, you see.

I've suffered through it, now you're going to suffer through it. Could be

been taken.

I'll leave it up to Beth here.

What?

Beth, should I drink a full pitcher of beer?

If all I can do is time and not be, that's so like being made a fool out of.

Hey, old buddy.

I think he's out for a little bit.