All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s07e02 Bang Youre Dead

Good evening and welcome to Alfred
Hitchcock Presents.

The feature is about to commence.

Please don't be alarmed. We are not
charging admission.

This is not pay TV.

As usual, all we ask is that on those
occasions when you can't view our show,

that you let us know so that we can send
it to someone else.

Please don't be a no -show.

This is not a hold -up.

I wish to dramatize the title of
tonight's play.

Tonight's story is called Bang, You're
Dead.

Despite the fact it has been introduced
with my usual flippancy, it concerns a

very serious subject, and I would be
doing it a disservice if I led you to

regard it lightly.

Now I must hurry into the theater, for I
don't want to miss the beginning.

Fortunately, I have a minute to find my
seat before the feature starts, for it

is preceded by an unselected short
subject.

It's the management's way of
discouraging those who might stay

one show.

Where'd you get it?

Birthday.

How many bullets you got?

A little box full.

There.

What a cheesy

gun. Can I try yours?

Nah. Please?

No, go on home.

Can't I get in the war?

too, Stevie.

This is our war, I told you. Go on home,
Half -Pint.

Jackie, here's your Uncle Rick, home
from the wars.

Well, I'd know him if I met him in the
jungle. How are you, Jackie?

You got your own war on?

They want me in their war.

Oh, they won't, huh?

Boo!

Boo! Boo! Jackie, Uncle Rick was in
Africa yesterday.

Wonderful gadget, the airplane.

Rick!

Hey, what's going on here? You think
you're the only one that had trouble

the natives? Oh, brother.

What on earth is that?

Well, that is what the well -dressed
witch doctor is wearing. It's always

something I picked up for you, June.
You're home for good, really?

Well, it's a little tough to do business
in a country that's blowing sky high.

Rick. Oh, thanks.

Ah, peace.

It's wonderful.

Now, that little item was all that was
left.

Just one incident.

You might say that it had its bug back.

Bad, huh?

Well, there's no place for an innocent
automobile salesman, I'll tell you that.

Going to sleep every night with a gun
under your pillow.

It leads to a certain amount of
insomnia.

Well, better days and nights.

Where is that Cleo? Nobody's even
started the canopy.

Why don't you be here, honey?

Oh, I didn't do it now, partner.

So Rick is room Fred. I'd better call a
Rick if you could have stayed on we

wouldn't arrest you into a party Maybe
you can make friends and influence

people. Well, I've got a couple of
connections up north, but I can be

right, where am I?

Wait on wild bill That

thing gives me the old -fashioned Willie

I must say I don't care for it next to
the olives.

Conversation piece.

Bloodbath.

Here.

Have a transfusion.

No answer.

I should have told Cleo to come at a
regular time.

But it's not a regular day.

Nope, I never did meet Tarzan. I guess
he must live in another part of Africa.

Okay, fork over.

Okay.

There you are.

Gee, thanks, Uncle Rick.

You're welcome, Jackie.

Say, I've got a surprise for you that'll
really knock your eye out, old fella.

You just wait a little after the party.

Can't I have it now?

Nope.

How's it going?

Okay between shakedowns.

Take a lot of time. Thanks. We've got to
cheer Amy up. She thinks the maid's

falling down a manhole someplace.

Daddy, Uncle Rick's got a surprise for
me. Well, he's a fine, decent, good

-hearted uncle. That's what he is.

Why don't you unpack for him?

After you.

Be right back, Jackie.

Well, I guess it's as good a way as any
to work up the people.

I tell you, if you could just see it or
hear it, you'd wish you were six years

old again shooting honest engines.

It's probably a museum piece.

No offense, but it probably ought to be
in a museum.

How could she have left an hour ago and
still not be here? It only takes her 25

minutes. Hands up! Of course I know how
the buses are.

I just can't help being upset. I've got
guests arriving in an hour.

Don't bother me, honey.

Yes, I know.

Jackie.

Please.

Well, let's just hope Cleo arrives soon.

Thank you so much. Goodbye.

No luck. She left an hour ago.

It's my fault. I should have picked her
up. Don't fret, honey. I have limitless

confidence in Cleo. Honey.

What? I have the strangest feeling
something's wrong.

Intuition. I don't know. I hope
nothing's happened to her.

Jackie. Run along, honey. Go out and
play.

Yeah, why don't you go outside and see
if you can bring down a real live maid,

huh? Thanks for the surprise, Uncle
Rick.

Surprise? He thanks me in advance. It
shows you he has a very trusting spirit.

I brought him one of these, uh, mass
size feather hands.

Still out in the car, isn't it? Well,
you know, I wanted to give him the whole

picture. You know, old story type
telling, Uncle.

You'd get him off with this western
kick. I'll be glad for a change.

him up.

Now, just a minute, believer kid.

I'm not a rebel soldier.

I'm the United States mail, and it's
against the law to shoot me.

What you want?

Nothing. I'm just practicing.

Tell you a secret.

The real big stuff's down at the post
office.

Registered mail, jewelry, gold watches,
money.

Money? I got a lot of money. See?

Uncle Rick gave it to me. I'm going to
the store.

Well, great.

Run along now and buy yourself a 20
-cent bellyache.

I gotta crank up the stage and get going
before the engines get me. Okay?

Sure. Bye, mailman.

Bye, Jackie.

I thought I'd give Amy a sneak preview,
did I?

Something wrong?

Yeah.

Hey, you gotta speed it. What?

Dimes. In the slot there.

Right him, cowboy.

You're sure he isn't playing in your
backyard, Judith?

All right.

No, no, I've called the Davidson.

Of course something's wrong. He's got
his uncle's revolver with live

He thinks it's a toy.

Did you look at the gun he had? I told
you, Mr. Chester, it's a cap gun. He

wanted to get in our war and I wouldn't
let him. I told him to go home.

Then you didn't see him when he came out
again?

No, sir. I was over at Gary's. I called
everybody I could think of. No one's

seen him since lunch.

That settles it. We call the police
right now.

I'm going to go call the police. The
mailman said he saw him heading for the

supermarket. Climb in. Hurry.

The horsey's got a customer, can't you
see?

Now, come on now, don't give Daddy a bad
time. Come on.

How about it, friend?

Give us a fast ride. Just once around
the corral.

I got here first.

I know, I know, but give us a break,
huh?

You know how women are, and this one's
murder.

I got here first.

I want to ride the horsey. Yeah, well,
here.

Look, pal.

There. Will that make it right?

I got here first.

Daddy?

Come here.

Hey, that's my horse. I know, I know.
And I'll put you right back on him in

a minute.

Horse thief.

Yeah, well, don't be too hard on me,
Sheriff.

Here you go, darling. Out.

Okay. Run along, kid. Make the public
library.

Keep out of mischief, huh?

See you on television.

George Webster on register seven,
please.

Coming.

I know how busy you are, but I'm just
beat down to a nub.

We should have got this done last week,
but we just let it go and let it go. You

know the way to do it. What can I do for
you? Oh, she's looking for cartons. Big

cartons. All the cartons we got are out
back.

Oh, I saw those. They won't do. But you
do have some in the back room that are

just perfect, except they're full of dog
food or something.

Excuse me, please. Have you seen a...
Just a minute, lady.

This is a true project. You see, we're
all making puppets for the cat craft

fair. I'm sorry, but this is important.

So is this.

I said just a minute, lady.

They're for puppet theaters. We cut out
the front. And then I've got to find my

little boy.

Check for the manager, please. At the
desk, aisle six.

Excuse me. Just a minute, please. And I
have your driver's license, please.

All right.

Take it to the cashier on number three.

Yes, ma 'am. Would you please make an
announcement? My little boy is around

someplace with a... Jonathan?

Yeah? How many cases?

Hands up.

Oh, come now. You wouldn't shoot a girl,
would you?

Sure I would. Watch.

How's that?

Mmm. More?

Mmm.

That's why you outlawed her so mean.
You're always hungry.

Never saw an outlaw shoot anybody on a
full stomach.

Now, you tell your mommy we have six
different kinds of jiffy snacks.

All she has to do is open a can, okay?

Mm -hmm.

What's your name?

Jackie. Bye, Jackie. Bye.

Please, please, this is an emergency. I
want you to make an announcement.

You want to ride this pony? You take
your turn.

Your attention, please. We have a
missing boy named...

He's

five years old, wearing a straw cowboy
hat.

His mother is waiting here at the desk
on aisle six.

Jackie Kester, five years old. Please
send him to the desk on aisle six.

I just saw him down in aisle eight.

He was sitting right there loading his
gun.

Boy, that's a real bullet.

Yes, it is.

Jackie! Jackie, this is Mother!
Somebody's got throwing water in the

lot.

Jackie!

Any luck? He's out here somewhere.
Somebody just saw him.

Come on.

Jackie! Did you hear that?

Over there.

Jackie! Jackie!

Where's everybody, honey?

I don't know.

Pick them up, Cleo.

I got no time to play games, sweetie
pie. Your mother's probably fit to be

tired. Uncle Rick gave me this.

You can put bullets in it, just like
Rio.

Did he tell you all about Africa?

Tarzan doesn't live there.

He moved?

I don't know.

He probably got himself all crippled up
swinging on the trees the way he does.

Found himself a nice quiet cave and
settled down.

Nobody will play war with me.

I'll play with you tomorrow.

Stick them up, Cleo.

You put that down, Jackie. I told you I
can't play now.

Nate, Nate.

Why, you little rat galleon.

If I get my hands on you, Jackie, I bet
I'll...

I thought I had my head examined.

That won't help us now.

I don't know what happened. My mind just
went blank or something.

If anyone gets hurt, it's Jackie.

Sitting here crucifying ourselves is not
going to solve anything.

Let's go call the police.

Take them out, Cleo.

Okay. You go ahead and shoot me.

You tell Mom?

Sure, I'll tell her.

I'll tell her how you parmed me with a
cowboy gun and wouldn't mind me for foul

apples.

That's what I'll tell her.

I'll shoot you, Cleo. I'll shoot you.

It's all right with me.

I made my peace to Almighty.

Go on.

Blaze away.

Jackie!

Cleo! It's a real gun!

You're not hurt?

like that.

We need something to break the spell,
and I have just the thing. I shall

you in a moment.

On rare occasions, we have stories on
this program which do not lend

to levity.

Bang, you're dead is a case in point.

We only hope that this play has
dramatized for parents the importance of

firearms and ammunition out of reach of
children.

Accidents of this type occur far too
frequently nowadays, and the tragic fact

that with proper precaution, they could
be avoided.

That is all for tonight.

Please join us next week when we shall
return with another story.

Until then, good night.