Original subtitles

Good evening.

Tonight we have another treat for those of you who enjoy a peek behind the

scenes. I'm sure most of you imagine that years of thought and work go behind

the creation of a television situation comedy series.

You are absolutely correct.

However, modern science has managed to distill and concentrate all this work

into this small package.

Instant situation comedy.

All you do is to add water. You don't even have to stir.

Contains the ingredients for a complete cast together with recorded laughter and

a large supply of the following.

Retorts witty.

Replies devastating.

Quips modest.

Reproofs parental.

Mows bon.

And takes double.

All that is necessary is to slice the results into 39 segments.

That is what I would term a poppy. Explosion.

I better come in with you. You may need me. I'll never forgive myself if

anything's happened to her.

Mrs. Evans, what's happened?

It's all right, Lucy. She's fine.

Hello, Arthur. But the doctor's here.

She insisted that I call him. It might not have been necessary, but I thought

I'd better humor her. Thank goodness you were here.

I just stopped by. I thought you might like a little company.

Oh, thank you very much. Oh, what are neighbors for?

Lucy, is that you?

Coming, Mama.

I'll wait down here.

Yes, you better.

Don't look so frightened, dear. I'm all right now.

Are you sure, Mother?

Perfectly sure.

Isn't that right, Dr. Larson?

Quite right.

You see?

Did you have a nice evening, dear?

It was all right.

How's Arthur?

He's fine.

And his mother?

She hasn't been to see me for the longest time.

Well, she lives so far out in the country, Mother.

Arthur? scarcely ever sees her himself.

She's such an active woman.

Must be wonderful to be able to get around like that.

Can I get you something, Mother?

Well, a cup of tea would be nice.

I'm sure Dr. Lawson would like some coffee.

No, thanks. I must be getting on.

Good night, Mrs. Baldwin.

Thank you, Doctor.

I didn't do a thing.

Good night, Lucy.

I'll see you to the door. I'll be right back, Mother.

She is all right, isn't she, Doctor? You know as well as I, Lucy, that she

didn't have an attack.

It was staged for your benefit.

Because I was out with Arthur.

Because you were out at all.

Lucy, if you'll take my advice, you'll stop giving in to her.

You can't stay cooped up in this house 24 hours a day. I feel so guilty if

anything happened to her here alone.

Nothing's going to happen to her.

It's about time you started thinking of yourself, young lady.

I think about myself all the time.

Then stop thinking and start doing.

It's all wrong, Lucy. What are you letting happen?

Well, it was a bad day. She was very restless.

Well, we'll see to it that it's not a bad night.

Yeah, put one teaspoon in her tea and she'll sleep right through. That way, at

least, you'll get some sleep.

Thank you, doctor.

Now remember, one teaspoon only. It's strong stuff.

Good night, Doctor.

Good night.

Well?

Satisfied?

Yes, she's all right.

In other words, the same old thing again.

What you do about nothing.

I'm afraid so.

Well, that settles it, Lucy. I can see you're never going to do anything about

this, so I'll have to.

I'm not going to let you put off our marriage any longer.

Darling, you know I don't want to.

But you keep on doing it.

Believe me, your mother doesn't need you. Arthur, she thinks she doesn't.

the same thing, isn't it? No, no, no.

You always worry about what your mother wants.

But what about what you want?

Or what we want?

You see, we're not children anymore.

You don't have to tell me that.

All right, then.

Look, darling, I've tried to be patient. I know you have, and I'm very grateful.

Grateful?

Well, there's nothing to be grateful about.

I love you and I want to marry you.

But I won't wait forever.

Arthur, it won't be forever. Just give me a little more time.

No, no, Lucy.

No, I'd made up a mind even before this happened that I was going to settle this

tonight once and for all.

Now, you've got to make a decision.

You either want to marry me or you don't.

And I want your answer tomorrow.

And I mean it this time.

I don't want to press you again.

Night.

You shouldn't have bothered, dear.

It was no bother, Mother.

Lucy, are you angry with me?

Why should I be?

I don't know, but you're certainly not acting very nicely.

I'm sorry you were frightened, but I certainly couldn't help having an

Couldn't you?

Well, that's a funny thing to say. Of course not.

I did so want you to have a nice evening and not have anything spoiled.

Oh, stop it, Mother Jocelyn.

Well, what kind of a way is that for you to talk to me? You did not want me to

have a nice evening. You did not want me to go out at all.

You're tired, my dear. You wouldn't talk such nonsense.

Yes, I am tired.

I am tired of pretending to believe you when you lie there saying one thing and

meaning another.

Lucy, I've never seen you like this.

Everyone else is running out of patience today. Why shouldn't I?

But what have I done?

What you always do, Mama.

You were perfectly impossible all day today because I was foolish enough to

you that I was going out this evening and then to finish it off. You pretend

have a heart attack when I come home to make me feel guiltier if such a thing is

possible.

What a dreadful thing to say.

I suppose Arthur's been putting these ideas into your head.

He doesn't have to.

I'm not a fool. I just act like one.

I don't think I care to discuss it anymore tonight.

You're obviously overwrought, and I'm not well enough. You are perfectly well

enough. I think I'm more capable of judging that than you.

And more capable than the doctor, Mama.

He said there was no reason for his being called out here tonight.

Well, that was highly unethical of him. No, just honest.

Mama, don't you see what you are doing to me?

I am 34 years old. Pretty soon I'll be 35, and then I'll be 40.

And I'll still be right here. I'll still have nothing.

What did Arthur say to you tonight to bring all this on?

That if what he said is everything.

What did he say?

He said that he wanted to marry me, but that he wasn't going to wait forever.

That he was asking me for the last time.

My dear, that would be by far the very best thing that could happen. For whom?

You? No, not for me. I'm thinking of you.

You mustn't marry this man.

Or any man. Isn't that what you mean, Mama? No, it isn't. If he were a

man who was in love with you... He is in love with me.

Oh, my dear.

Don't make me say things that will hurt you. I don't want to.

I'm only trying to protect you.

Mama, I'm going to marry him.

I must say it.

Arthur doesn't love you.

It's the money he's after.

He knows I haven't any money.

He also knows I have.

I actually believe that you'd say anything to get your way.

Oh, think what you like of me, but don't throw away your life like this.

The money comes to you when I die, and I've very little time.

Oh, please. It's true whether you believe it or not. I know it.

When that happens, you can do as you please.

But until then, I won't let you make this dreadful mistake.

It is not a mistake.

Very well, then.

If you trust him, tell him.

Tell him you'll marry him, and when you do, I'll change my will. I'll leave

everything I have to charity.

That won't make any difference.

Then there's no problem.

Tell him.

Tell him tomorrow.

Or are you afraid to risk it?

Are you?

Yes. I am afraid.

Look at me.

Why should anybody want to marry me now? Are you satisfied? Is that what you

wanted me to say?

My dear, you're a lovely woman.

Everyone can't be a great beauty. As you have reminded me so often, Mama.

My dear, you... Mama, I don't care even if what you say is true. I want him.

I have got to have someone.

I have been by myself long enough.

Hello, Arthur.

Are you all right?

Yes, I'm all right.

You're not angry?

No, I'm not angry.

And you do understand how I feel?

Arthur, I'm very tired tonight. I can't cope with you or anyone else's feelings.

I see.

Then I'm to take it your answer is no.

I didn't say that, Arthur.

I'm very tired. You'll have to give me a little more time.

Yes, Arthur, I heard you.

You'll have the answer tomorrow.

Good night.

I didn't mean to loot my temper.

That's all right. We all do one time or another.

It's better than bottling everything up inside.

Perhaps it is.

We forget all about it.

I know you didn't mean any of those things you said.

No, I didn't.

But you did, didn't you, Mama?

If you mean about Arthur, I'm afraid I did.

And I don't suppose there's anything that I could say to make you change your

mind. Not when I know I'm right.

If I was uncertain, do you think I'd have used the threat of that money?

I didn't enjoy that.

I'm sure you didn't.

But you would do it, wouldn't you, Mama?

I'd have to.

It's for your own good.

Well, as you say, Mama, we better just forget all about it.

Try not to feel too badly.

Oh, I nearly forgot.

Dr. Larson left you some medicine, Mama.

He thinks you need building up.

Two tablespoons.

How much is that?

You can take it in your tea, Mama. That way you won't even taste it.

He thinks he's humoring me.

Leave the tray, dear.

Good night, Lucy.

Good night, Mama.

Lucy.

Lucy, you forgot the sugar.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Evans.

She gets so annoyed if I forget anything.

What is it?

I'm afraid she's gone, dear.

She must have been sicker than we thought.

But Mrs. Evans, she wasn't sick enough to die.

What are you looking at?

the top doing off this bottle?

I gave her one teaspoonful.

That's all she was supposed to have, and then I closed it.

I don't understand.

Why would she take more?

I warned her not to. I told her what the doctor said.

Mrs. Evans, why would Mother want to die?

If she did it, she must have done it for you.

You were right about your mother, Lucy, and we were all wrong.

You said you would never leave her.

While she was still alive.

And she wanted you to marry Arthur and be happy.

You've been so kind, Mr. Simon. Everyone has.

Why shouldn't they be?

Everyone knew how devoted you were to your mother.

Well, now, what are your plans?

Well, I don't really know.

Arthur wants to get married right away.

You know, I think you're lucky.

Having such a dependable man standing by you through all this.

There's still so much to do. I haven't even talked to you about settling the

estate. Oh, you don't have to think about that.

What do you mean?

Well, I can handle everything without bothering you.

See, your mother was a very meticulous woman. She kept all of her bills paid

and the insurance will cover the cost of the funeral. And since the annuity

ceases at her death, there's really very little to settle.

Annuity? Oh, yes.

Well, you knew that's where your mother's money came from, didn't you?

Yes, of course.

Frankly, I was against your father's investing his money in that fashion, but

lawyer can only advise, and your father wanted it that way, and so did your

mother.

I'm sure she did.

I beg your pardon?

I'm sure mother wanted it if father did.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, they were both so sure that you'd be married and well taken care of.

Well, you see, they were right.

Yes, weren't they?

Well, Mr. Simon, you must let me know if there's anything I have to do. No,

there won't be a thing.

You just invite me to that wedding.

I will.

Hello, Donna.

Hello, Art. Well, Mr. Simon, I guess I'm here just in time to say goodbye. Just

goodbye. Goodbye, Miss Baldwin. Nice to have seen you again, Mr. Clark, and good

luck to both of you. Thank you.

Is something wrong?

No.

You were a lot more cheerful when I left you last night.

Hey, come on. What is it?

I don't want to talk about it. Well, Lucy, look. Arthur, please.

All right, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't.

Well, what should we talk about?

Our wedding?

Arthur, I'm still not sure.

It's too late.

We had all the arrangements for Saturday.

Saturday? That's right. That'll give you time to shop for the trousseau and...

Do whatever else you have to do.

My true soul.

What am I supposed to use for money?

I don't understand.

Mother's money came from an annuity.

It stopped at her death. There's nothing left for me.

Just like your mother.

Now, I bet she didn't tell you either, did she?

No.

Lucy, is that what this is all about?

Is that why you're so upset?

Oh, darling, what difference does it make?

I'm not rich, but I'm not starving either.

Wait a minute. Did you think it would make a difference?

Not really, but I was so frightened.

You are silly.

Forget about the money.

Let's talk about something important.

Like, uh... Where are we going on our honeymoon?

Wherever you say.

All right.

Now, let's not plan anything.

We'll get in the car.

We'll just drive and drive.

Wherever we want to go.

That sounds wonderful.

Just wonderful.

Yes, Mother, it's us.

Oh, you look lovely.

I felt so terrible about missing the wedding.

Is anything the matter, dear?

Why, Mother, I didn't know you were ill.

You mean Arthur hasn't told you?

Of course he hasn't. He didn't want to spoil your wedding day, did you, dear?

Well, Mother, she's been through so much lately. Of course.

Well, I had this terrible fall down the cellar steps, and here I am.

And at my age, dear, it's a serious matter.

Mother, you mustn't think that way.

What way can I think?

It's terrible to look forward to being bedridden.

Doctor has no idea when this will heal.

Patience, patience, he says.

Could be I'll have to be patient for the rest of my days.

I'm so sorry, Mother.

Well, these things happen.

I certainly am glad you've had so much experience taking care of your own

mother. And Lucy, dear, I want you to know how sweet you are to give up your

honeymoon.

You don't mind, do you?

Arthur said you wouldn't.

You see, he couldn't possibly afford a private nurse for me.

Yes, I can see that.

Fortunately, this house is plenty big enough for all of us.

Now, take off your things and make some tea, and we'll have our own little

celebration. Just the three of us.

Arthur, you show her where to go, dear.

Lucy.

Lucy, wait a minute.

I'm sorry about this.

Arthur, when did your mother have her accident?

What difference does that make?

Was it before Mother died?

Well, yes, I suppose it was a day or so before.

A day or so before.

Lucy.

Lucy, dear, I'm so uncomfortable. Could you come and help move me, dear?

She must be in great pain.

We'll have to ask the doctor for some sleeping medicine for her.

Lucy, please hurry.

Coming, Mother.

Coming.

may not have been situation comedy for Lucy, who was caught on her next try,

perhaps the rest of you found it amusing.

I shall be back after the following, which is designed to sober you up.

Next week, our situation comedy takes place in far -off Denmark.

Junior overhears a scrap of conversation and quite naturally...

jumps to the conclusion that his uncle murdered his father in order to marry

mother. This amusing misunderstanding leads to a great number of hilarious

situations and to the death of all four principals.

I'm sure you'll enjoy it. So tune in next week when we present Junior Caesar

Ghost. Good night.