All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s06e21 The Kiss-Off

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is a voting booth.

It comes complete with voting
instructions.

You will observe that it is a one
-passenger model.

When you enter, you go alone.

There is not even room for your
conscience.

The inventor was afraid that would prove
too large a handicap to speedy

elections.

These booths come in only one size.

thus automatically disenfranchising
certain of our population who do not

to conventional physical standards.

This has no direct bearing on tonight's
story, but is merely offered as a public

service. Actually, there is much that
has no direct bearing on tonight's

The following, for example.

Quiet today.

Lunchtime. You should have been here
earlier.

Cash drawer first.

Then the safe.

Can I help you, ma 'am?

I have a question or two about this tax
bill.

No screams, lady.

Keep quiet and live.

Now, get behind the counter.

Come on, lady.

All right, all right.

It's safe.

It's safe.

You should be ashamed.

I'm not.

All of it.

Come on.

Thank you.

All right, be

bright. Take five minutes before you
sound the alarm. I got a cover man in

hallway.

Keep the lady quiet.

Well, you're letting him get away.

You want him so bad, go get him
yourself.

Well, you're not very... No, lady, I'm
not.

That must have fallen out of his pocket.

Why, it looks like a hotel key.

Might as well have left his name and
address.

Yeah, somebody must have spit on the
sidewalk up there.

A pool to hold up.

Yeah, you never know. Well, here you
are, mister.

How much?

Uh, 90 cents on the meter.

Keep it.

Ten bucks?

I got plenty back at that hold -up.

Hey, invite me to all your hold -ups,
will you? I don't go to all of them

myself.

you? What do you want? Laurie, it's me,
Ernie. You're not Ernie.

It's me.

It's me.

No, it doesn't say what hotel. Just a
room tag, 402.

Must be one of those fleabags down along
Skid Row.

Well, I'll get photostats, write off
some copies, and let the boys in the

cars check it out.

Right.

Take this down to the photo lab. If they
find anything, I'll be at the DA's

office.

I want to go home.

In a minute.

You said that an hour ago.

How much longer will that take?

I've got to get supper ready.

All right.

But I'll need you for an identification.

Well, just let me see him again.

All right, go ahead.

I never bought men's clothes before.

I didn't have much time for shopping
after your phone call.

I must have sounded so silly. I thought
you were calling from the prison. Oh,

they let me out fast over that Hagen guy
confessed tea.

Robbed the filling station I was
supposed to six years ago.

All that time.

You could have written. I'd have come to
visit you.

I had my reasons.

I didn't want you linked with me.

You got a cigarette?

In my purse.

You want a drink or anything?

I feel perfect right now.

This stuff's got to be burned.

I'll be careful.

Don't you want to know why?

No, no, I don't think so.

Why not?

Well, what I don't know won't hurt you,
will it?

I wouldn't worry about anything you
knew.

Well, right now, I just want to talk
about us.

Like, say, a honeymoon in Pensacola,
Florida?

Ernie. There's a place there you'd like.
It's called Palma del Rio.

They've got white beaches, palm trees,
all the fixings.

I worked there one summer when I was a
kid knocking around.

You know what?

I could get a job as a waitress while
you're trying to find something to do.

You'll be sitting at tables, not waiting
on them.

Oh.

When will we leave?

You'll leave right away, tonight.

Without you?

I'm going to join you in a week. A week?
But I thought you said... You'll be

nice and tan when I get there.

Well, Ernie, I don't want to leave you.
It's going to be all over before you

know about it. Will you just trust me?

Come on, get up.

Pensacola is a long way off from a cop
named Cooper and a DA who doesn't care

about anything but getting convictions.

You're going to forget all about that.
Well, Cooper couldn't forget it about me

having a record.

Because of something you did when you
were a kid? They didn't see it that way

when that filling station was held up 60
years ago.

Ernie, if we're going to forget about
this, we've got to start right now.

You're right, babe.

Now, listen, don't try to get even. It's
never any good.

I'm even right now.

Listen, don't let that get out of your
sight. No, no, I won't, Ernie.

And I got one last appointment, huh?

Ernie! Pomodoro, one week.

office. It's the same as any other
place. To you, not to me. That's

money. This is election year.

Must be for me.

Hello?

Yes, speaking.

Are you sure?

I'll stake out the place, but hands off.

I want to take him myself.

Right.

Well, what do you know?

Our pigeon is Ernie Walters.

Walters?

That was the name on the register.

You better be right this time. Oh, I
should have known it from the general

description. He said he wanted to get
even with us, but he made a stupid

mistake. He dropped that piece.

All right, come on, Ernie, up.

Against the wall. Come on, move.

Get moving.

Come on, lean boy, up on your toes.

Surprised to see me? What ex -con would
be surprised to see Detective Cooper?

Don't be bitter.

We all make mistakes.

I thought you just made arrests.

Turn around.

You know, a guy ought to like his job.

Yeah.

Where'd I slip up?

The key.

What key?

Fly high, Ernie. Fly real high.

I mean it, Cooper. What key?

You dropped it. Did I?

In the wrong place.

Where's that?

The state tax office on top of a 20 to
30 year rap.

Well, I should be able to do that easy.

I had six years experience.

Well, then why didn't you let it go at
that?

This was a very special key.

It was to the door of this room.

So is that one over there.

Don't get smart with me.

Duplicate from the debt.

Why don't you ask the clerk?

How about it?

That's the only one out.

Well, we've got spares locked out in the
safe, but you've got to sign a book and

pay a buck to get one. He didn't. You
see, all the bums lose them. Oh, get out

of here!

I don't need anything else, Cooper.

You left a whole string of witnesses, a
wide trail. It was easy finding you. I

wasn't trying to hide.

Now, what time was this office held up?

Noon. Well, I don't have an alibi.

I was here in my room alone.

Ain't that a shame?

No gray striped coat.

Never wear them.

You looking for something?

You're gonna wake up the neighbors in
there, Cooper.

Are you going to put all that stuff
back?

Where'd you ditch the gun, Ernie?

The gun?

Oh, yeah, that. I thought it would be
nice if I mailed it to my old cellmate.

Where's the money, Ernie?

Money?

Why, did somebody hold up another
filling station?

That's all water under the bridge.

I know you told the warden you were
going to get even.

That was a lousy idea.

Now be smart.

Get off easy.

Are you offering me a deal?

I'm giving you a chance to help
yourself.

I'll tell you what, Cooper.

Take that head and soak it.

And take a big deep breath while you're
underwater.

Okay, Ernie.

You laid it on the line.

Now I know exactly what I gotta do.

Will you bring my coat?

How could he leave the key at the scene
and still have it?

Well, he could have had another one made
someplace.

From what?

The desk clerk said he never had the
duplicate.

Well, maybe he made it himself.

He worked in the machine shop at the
pen. He must have learned something in

years. There's something wrong, Cooper.

There's nothing wrong with the
witnesses. And I got a third one for

nail him good.

The cab driver who picked him up at the
scene.

Yes.

We'll be right down.

That one.

Number four.

Gentlemen, how about it?

Well, it looks like it.

Number four, up on the mark.

Ernie Walters, age 35.

Arrested, state of Connecticut, 1951,
grand theft auto.

Convicted, but on probation.

1952, concealment of dangerous weapons,
violation of probation.

Served two years state penitentiary.

Aren't you forgetting one, Cooper? The
state, armed robbery, convicted, served

six years.

You forgetting that one, Cooper?

Somebody goofed. Talk when you're spoken
to, Walters.

How about his voice?

He didn't say much to us.

He talked in the cab.

Well, it sounds like him.

Yes or no?

Look, I was sitting on top of a motor in
traffic.

Well, now, you won't say him. You picked
him out just now.

He paid you $10 for a 90 -cent ride. He
said he picked it up on a holdup.

Look, I get all kinds of nuts.

It could have been a gag. You're not
blind, are you? Take a look. What do you

think I'm doing?

It looks like him. The same build and
everything.

Then it's him.

I don't know. It looks like him, but...
The fella had heavy eyebrows and his

face seemed fatter somehow.

Well, he could have faked it. A makeup
job, maybe.

Look, he had you under a gun.

It's natural to be nervous. Just take it
easy now.

He can't hurt you. Can't even see or
hear you.

I kind of feel it's him.

Hey, Cooper, what's the matter? You
having trouble?

Shut up, Waters.

See, wise guy. Just like he was with the
gun, remember now?

It looks like him, except a looks like
isn't enough.

He looks like him, that's all I can say.

I don't think that's a guy at all.

Like he says, it's just a resemblance.

Now look, he bears the same general
resemblance as the other four up there,

you picked him. Now why?

Mrs. Simmons, I think it's up to you to
lead the way for these men.

You're an attractive woman. You use
makeup.

You know what a difference even a little
bit makes.

You were the one who recognized him
right away.

He is the one, isn't he?

Yes, he's the one.

How about you two?

Got along with the lady or are you still
chicken?

Who do you think you're talking to with
that chicken stuff?

He didn't mean...

I know what he meant, and I know what I
mean.

As far as I'm concerned, I never saw
this guy before now.

Look, I got a living to make.

All right, go on, make it.

Oh, we don't need him.

Maybe he didn't haul the robber, but you
two saw him.

I want to see his teeth.

A couple of them are broken. We know he
changed his appearance.

I want to see his teeth.

Show us your fangs, Walters.

different now.

But you can't identify him.

Well, I'm not sure.

I can say what I think.

But I can't be sure.

All right, you can go.

You'll be subpoenaed for the trial.

We'll make it hold up.

Between them and the hotel key?

Bring him to my office.

Well, Ernie? Well, what?

You ready to make a statement? Well, I
made a statement six years ago. You want

me to repeat it? Don't try to get smart.

I wasn't in that gas station. I didn't
hold it up. I was in my room alone.

Don't blame us for a natural mistake.

You fit the description. You had a
record and no alibi.

So you made me the patsy.

And six years later, another guy
confesses to the job. Well, I'm not the

this time.

We know you pulled this one.

Another general description?

Ernie, I know how you feel.

That's why I'll give you a deal.

A deal?

What kind of deal?

Confess and make restitution.

Plead extenuating circumstances and I'll
go to the mat for you.

Well, now then.

It's a very good deal.

I appreciate it.

But I haven't done anything.

Do you want to throw away 20 years?

Now listen, we've got you cold turkey.

We've got three witnesses who can
identify you positively and two of them

at the scene.

Well, how could they? We know you
changed your appearance.

You got a witness that can say he saw me
do that?

All right, we got three people who will
describe a man in court and then they'll

point to me, somebody that doesn't fit
that description.

Somebody who left your key in the hotel
room.

That must have belonged to an old
occupant.

I had my key. Cooper saw it. You made
that one yourself.

Ernie, you dropped it at the tax office
deliberately, didn't you?

When did you make the copy?

Before or after the holdup?

You stole $12 ,000.

Now, where is it? $12 ,000?

You see, I was making 80 bucks.

a week when you sent me up.

That's about $4 ,000 a year.

Six years?

That's about $24 ,000.

Now, you know, if I had held up that tax
office, the state would still owe me a

hat. Cooper!

That's nice, Cooper.

Remember the law.

You know, I'm... I think I'm kind of
looking forward to seeing the law in

operation again.

It'll be fun watching the jury when you
bring those three witnesses in a court

and not one of them certain I'm the man.

And then they'll hear my lawyer explain
about the four witnesses you had who

were so positive I was the man that held
up that gas station six years ago.

On a case like that, get out of this
town, get out and stay out.

I can afford to.

As has been said before on television,

A district attorney's lot is not a happy
one.

But on Ernie's next effort, the law
caught up with Ernie and he paid the

for a sloppy make -up job.

And now we must listen to a speech from
a gentleman who consistently ignores the

rule against electioneering within 50
yards of the polls, after which I shall

return for a rebuttal.

I don't see the lever, much less the
voting machine.

Actually, these weren't made originally
for voting booths. They were army

surplus, having been... Ah, there it is.

As I was saying, these were formerly
portable showers.

Next week, I shall return to campaign
once more for clean government.

Until then, good night.