Original subtitles

Good evening and welcome to the best of Hitchcock.

In the absence of my vacationing brother Alfred, we are presenting clips from

his past shows.

I find it amusing, by the way, that television at last confirms what our

has known for years, that I, rather than Alfred, am the best of

Hitchcock. And now for those clips.

This was one of the high spots for me.

This one stopped just short of perfection.

I think it is obvious why I cherish those shows.

I'm sure many of you feel the same way.

And now, here are two more equally delicious, after which we shall have our

story. Ladies and gentlemen, the best of Hitchcock.

Alfred never looked better. The next sound you hear will be my sponsor.

Darling?

Yeah, I'm late. I know. Wait a minute. Before you go, I want you to see the

present I got for Eileen.

Can I wait till tonight? I figure I'm catching the early train. Isn't she

lovely? Oh, for crying out loud. Another doll?

It's not just another doll, Ralph. Look, take her hand. She actually walked.

Isn't that the cutest thing?

Honey, listen. Eileen's got a room full of dolls.

Don't you think she's getting kind of old for this sort of thing? Since when

seven too old? I didn't stop playing with dolls until I was 12.

Well, I don't think you ever quit.

Are you expecting somebody?

Mm -mm.

Well, you'd just better go and answer it, because I have got to get started.

Hi, Mrs.

Birdwell.

Remember me?

Is, um, is the little girl home?

No, Arlene just left for school.

Is your husband here?

Yes. Oh, good.

You don't mind if I come in, do you?

Ralph? Yeah.

Oh, hi, Mr. Birdwell.

Hey, now, wait a minute. What are you doing here?

Listen, you said you'd never bother us again. Now, what's the big idea?

Well, just came to say hello.

Oh, now, wait a minute. It's all right, Ralph.

Mrs. Mead, I have some coffee left over from breakfast. Wouldn't you like a cup?

Oh, coffee? No, thanks.

I just had some.

Well...

If Eileen had gone to school, I would have liked to see her.

Aren't you forgetting something, Mrs. Mead?

You were never supposed to see Eileen again, do you remember?

And that was part of the agreement we made seven years ago.

Is it seven years?

Gee, whoo!

Wow!

Does time fly, huh?

I've got a half an hour before I have to catch my train, so maybe you'd better

come to the point.

Why did you come here?

That's cute.

Oh, is that adorable.

Please.

I was just looking at it. What is it, a present for Eileen? Yes, tomorrow's her

birthday.

Her birthday?

Imagine me forgetting that. Me of all people.

Oh, there's quite a layout to have here.

Like old home week, huh?

Mrs. Meade, will you please come to the point?

Okay.

I want Eileen back.

I thought it was something like that.

Well, you can forget it now. A deal is a deal.

Eileen wouldn't know you from a hole in the ground.

Look, I am her mother, and I don't care what kind of a deal we made, I want my

kid back.

Just because you helped me out with a few lousy bucks, you know. Listen to me.

You didn't care what happened to Eileen.

You were all ready to abandon her.

Abandon her.

That's what I should have done when that crummy husband walked out on us.

Left her on a church step.

Anything better than with stingy people like you.

What are you talking about?

We paid all of your expenses.

We took Eileen and we raised her like she was our own.

We would have adopted her a long time ago if we could have found you.

I was sick.

I couldn't help being sick.

Nothing but shortwave diathermy for years.

But I'm better now, and I'm going to get me a lawyer.

Well, you go right ahead and get yourself a lawyer.

Mrs. Mead, I'm not afraid of anything you can do.

I don't think we're going to have any trouble whatsoever proving the kind of a

mother you are. Mrs. Mead, don't you understand how we feel?

Eileen was a baby when we got her. We're a mother and father now. You can't take

her away from her home.

But what about me?

What am I, a piece of dirt on the street?

Okay, okay, okay, I'm a reasonable person.

You love Eileen, I know that, but I'm her mother, and the least you can do is

help me out.

What kind of help?

I got awful big expenses. I told you about those treatments, didn't I?

I think I need at least 150 a week.

Wait a minute. You expect us to contribute money to you every week?

Yeah, is that so wrong?

How much of the $150?

All of it.

After all, I got nobody else to turn to.

You wouldn't want Eileen's mother sleeping in a gutter, would you?

Mrs. Meade, do you know what you're asking?

I'm a civil engineer. Now, I make $220 a week before taxes.

You expect me to give you $150 out of that?

Okay, I'll make it a hundred.

I'm sorry, no deal.

If you want to take this thing to court, you just go right ahead.

You don't think I won't, huh?

I'm not so dumb, you know.

I'm going to get me a lawyer and take Eileen away from you.

I'm going to tell him that you forced me to give her up. You'll never see her

again. You'll never do it.

The judge will see exactly what you are. You're a cheap, broken -down drunk.

Listen, mister.

I can go a long time between drinks.

You'd be surprised what I can do when I make up my mind.

You'd better think it over.

I think you'd better get out of this house.

Okie dokie.

But you're not through with me yet, pal.

You're never going to be through with me.

birthday for me.

So he says to me, he says, I don't owe you nothing. Imagine talking to me like

that. Me of all people.

What am I? I'm only the child's mother.

But Mrs.

Mead, won't you please?

Look, what do you think? Here, what right have they got to talk to me like

after all I've done for them? It sounds to me more like they did something for

you. Huh?

You call that something?

Taking away my baby?

You're not really anxious to have the child back.

Well, uh, after all, I don't know what a woman like me would do with a seven

-year -old kid.

A career woman, I mean.

Well, don't you see what you're proposing doesn't amount to much more

well, blackmail.

Oh, for Pete's sake, all you lawyers talk the same way.

Mrs. Meade, I would really like to help you, but... But, but, but, but... You

won't. Is that it?

Perhaps if you ask the Legal Aid Society.

Oh, I've already been there.

Okay, okay, Buster, you had your chance.

Now all you have to do is wait for the next ambulance.

Who is it?

Mrs. Mead?

Mrs.

Mead, Mrs. Mead. Oh, it comes from the wood.

Honestly. What do you want?

Can I come in a minute, Mrs. Mead?

Do I know you?

Not yet, you don't. You want to give me the chance?

Say.

What kind of a girl do you think I am?

I don't know. Why don't you let me in and we can talk about it.

Name's Ames, Phil Ames.

Here you've been downtown asking about a lawyer.

So?

What's it to you?

I thought maybe I could help you.

You mean you're a lawyer? To me you look more like a pickpocket.

Used to be a lawyer, but I'm in a different racket now. Yeah, but it's a

It's a minute to the bar, 49, but my luck kind of ran bad, so I quit. Now I'm

a different kind of a racket.

Confidential investigator.

Oh, you mean private eye?

Yeah. Ran into a client of mine down the legal building. Told me about the deal

you got.

So I thought I'd drop over and see if I could help.

Won't do you any good.

I ain't got a dime.

Let's not talk about money yet.

Well, I understand that you gave up your kid to a couple named the Bergwells,

only they never legally adopted us, so now you want the kid back, that right?

Yeah. Yeah, the only trouble is, you don't have such a good reputation. In

the way I hear it, you got yourself a record.

Those were all rhyme -ups.

Yeah.

Yeah, very touching story, mother, love, all that jazz.

Boy, I don't believe it.

Hi.

You know what I think?

You know what I really think? I don't think you care about that kid at all.

haven't seen her since she was an infant.

What's a good time, Dave, like you want with a brat around the house for?

Listen, if you're going to talk to me like that... Shh.

Money.

I know what you want.

You want the same thing I want.

Money. You want to milk those Birdwell jokers for every buck you can get.

How much you asking for?

A hundred a week.

Asked for 150, but he cried, Paul, he's an engineer. He doesn't make much.

Tears, baby, these engineers. You see them in the ads all the time. They make

bundle.

Besides, what's this annuity? A few lousy bucks?

What you want is a big wad of cash all at once.

Yeah, but where would they get it?

What do you care?

They're probably going to nest egg or they can mortgage something.

Our 25 G's in cash look to you right now.

Oh, like a million.

If I help you get it, what's my percentage?

You're the smart one. You tell me.

20%. Now, that's not much.

Only you're going to have to do the hard work, Mrs. Meade, because I've got a

license to protect.

Okay. I'm listening.

You show me how to get the money. It's a deal.

You're kidnapping a kid.

What? What's her name?

Eileen, but... Kidnap Eileen, you phone the Birdwells that they don't get her

back unless they make a deal.

You think I want to get set up for a kidnapping rap? They give you life for

things like that.

For what?

Repossessing your own property?

You've got it wrong, Lottie.

There's nothing crooked about a mother taking her own child back.

Nobody goes to jail.

It's just a matter of deciding where the child rightfully belongs.

You still got a birth certificate?

Yeah, but they'd call the cops if they'd sue me.

Are you kidding?

They'll want it back at any cost.

Yeah?

Gee, it might work.

Yeah, miss.

Take my word for it, the door's yours.

I have something terribly important to do. Scott's all right. Get in.

How's it going?

Everything's fine.

I've been watching the Birdwell house for the last three days.

The kid gets taken to school every morning by her old man.

But in the afternoon, she comes home by herself.

And it stops outside the school.

That's the place to do it.

How am I going to recognize her?

I'll point her out to you.

Look, it's almost three o 'clock now. I think we'll take a dry run just to make

sure everything goes smooth.

You don't own a car, do you?

Are you kidding?

Well, the best thing to do is after you pick her up, take a cab.

How do I know she's going to come with me?

She'll come, all right. Just tell her that her mommy sent you.

Say that you're the new cleaning woman.

Cleaning woman?

Kid will believe you. Tell her you're going to take her downtown to see her

mommy. To buy some new clothes.

Well, after you pick the kid up, get a cab and take her over to your place

you hear from me.

School's up there on the next block.

Which one is her?

Which one is Eileen?

That's her, the one with the pigtails.

Say, she's a cute kid.

She's a doll.

A 25 grand doll.

What are you thinking about? You're not getting sentimental, are you?

I was thinking about the Burwells.

Boy, would I love to see their face when they find I've got the baby, huh?

Did you get a good look at her?

Yeah. Yeah, I did.

You must be Eileen.

Who are you?

I just started working for your mommy, and she sent me here.

I'm, uh, I'm a governess.

Governess? You mean like in Jane Eyre?

Uh, where's that?

Uh, look, honey, you don't have to take the bus home today. Your mommy told me

to pick you up, take you downtown, and buy you some new dresses.

You mean it? You really mean it?

Sure. I mean it.

She told me we could take a taxi. Would you like that?

I'd like it. I've never been in a taxi.

What kind of dresses are there going to be? Are there going to be party dresses?

How would I know? I'm only the cleaning woman.

I bet you said you were a governess.

Look, honey, come on. Let's get the taxi. You wanna?

Here we are.

This doesn't look like a dress store to me.

No. No, it ain't. It's my apartment. You see, your mama's gonna meet us here.

What for?

Look, don't ask so many questions, huh? You like to read? I got some movie

magazines. You like movie magazines?

They're all right. Uh -huh. Okay.

You sit over there, then, and relax.

where we are.

Yeah, yeah, she knows.

I'm hungry.

My mommy always gives me something to eat when I come home from school.

Oh, well, um, let's see what I got. I got some anchovies. You like anchovies?

don't know.

Let's see what else.

Oh, I know.

I got salted crackers.

Here, you'll love them. Sit down.

Oh, just great.

Yeah, happy as a clam.

When are you coming over?

Okay.

Was that my mommy?

Who?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was your mommy. Is my mommy on her way?

Yep.

Your mommy's on her way.

Hi. What's this?

Who's your friend?

Mrs. Meade, I want you to meet Charlie Vance. He's my partner.

Partner? What do you need a partner for?

Charlie's an expert in these matters.

That's right, Mrs. Meade.

Well.

Hi, doll.

Hello.

Is this the little girl you snatched?

Sure I did. Why not? I'm a mother.

She's not my mother.

Oh, shut up, Eileen.

My name's not Eileen. My name's Margaret. Can I go home now?

Boy, you sure turned out to be a little liar.

I'm not a liar. My name's Margaret and I never lie.

Margaret, for Pete's sake, look, will you tell him the truth? She is telling

truth. Her name's not Eileen Birdwell.

So, what are you trying to do, fool me? Charlie, you're a witness. Mrs. Meade

admits kidnapping this child.

What is this, a frame -up or something?

Charlie used to work with the FBI.

He still knows the boys downtown. They'll be happy to hear about this.

Uh -huh.

No, no.

No, wait a minute now. No, I'm no kidnapper, no.

He's the one, he...

He fooled me. He planned the whole thing.

He bladed out the wrong kid, you see.

He tricked me.

You tricked yourself.

You snatched the wrong child.

And now if you want to keep out of a kidnapping rap, you've got to leave the

Birdwells alone.

You've got to let them adopt Eileen and keep out of their lives forever.

They're the ones.

They're the ones who sent you here.

No. It was my idea. I'm a private detective. But I'm also Ralph Birdwell's

friend. You dirty dumb...

This is me.

You better listen to me.

If you don't want to spend the rest of your life in prison.

Okay.

Okay.

But I'm no kidnapper.

I'm not.

I wouldn't kidnap anybody.

Now,

Margaret, I bet you want to go home now, don't you, Margaret?

Yes, please.

It's in the office room. Right.

Bye.

See, that was fun. Can I help you again sometime, Dad?

Good evening.

This is Alfred Hitchcock.

Welcome to the end of tonight's episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

I should explain that my vacation was the result of a nasty remark I made on

show. The person at whom I directed the remark has been given the following

minute to retaliate, after which I shall return.

Perhaps it's my sponsor who needs a vacation.

Before taking leave, I would like to show you a few of my selections for the

best of Hitchcock.

Now, this is truly vintage Hitchcock.

And without the violence my brother seems to admire.

Much more pleasant than my brother's choices.

After all, I like to keep this a happy show.

Next week we shall be back with another story. Until then, good night.