Original subtitles

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Before I begin tonight's concert, I would like to explain the structure of a

symphony. All symphonies are composed of two parts, sounds and

silences. It is very important that you know the difference between the two.

Perhaps I should give you an example.

Good heavens, I don't like this a bit.

I was told I would be the only one on the program.

He's as stiff as a board.

He must have been here some time.

To continue our little chat about musical appreciation, for an example of

sounds, I know nothing better than the next 60 seconds.

Martha, I want you to get me a ticket on the first flight tomorrow morning to

Toronto.

And get Mrs. Barrett on the telephone.

You wanted to see me, Mr. Barrett?

I sent Twiney to Toronto to wind up an old litigation.

He's tied himself up in enough red tape to trim a Christmas tree.

I have to fly up there in the morning.

You know what that means, don't you?

The Muldoon -Wright merger.

There's enough work left on that to keep you busy until I get back. I'm leaving

you in charge.

I've given you everything I have here.

Yes? Mr. Barrett, I have Mrs. Barrett on your private wire. Thank you.

I don't think you'll have any trouble.

I'm sure that I won't, Mr. Barrett.

Good morning, Poopsie.

Did I awaken you?

Mrs. James Barrett here.

It's me, Poopsie.

Oh, it's you.

I'm flying to Toronto in the morning.

Toronto?

Where's Toronto?

In Canada.

Is that overseas?

No, that's not overseas. Now listen, Poopsie, this is what I called to tell

As much as I'll miss you, we can't have lunch together today. I have an

important conference.

Toronto.

Did you hear me, Poopsie?

Oh, yes.

Well, don't worry about me.

I'll miss you awfully, but I'll have lunch with one of the girls.

Oh, darling, I'm sorry to be so terribly late, but Gigi just wouldn't eat her

lunch. Don't be angry with me.

I asked you, my sweet, not to wear that getup.

It's a bit like hiring a sound truck to go through the streets announcing that

Mrs. James Barrett is having a quiet lunch with her lover.

But I like to dress for you.

You want me to look frumpy. You'll end up by forgetting you love me at all.

Impossible. I could never forget that.

I don't believe you have any idea how far that baby blue expression of yours

could take you.

Philip, it's been so long.

A month.

A whole month without even seeing you. You might at least have come to Irene's

cocktail party.

We'll order later, thank you.

That's the last thing I could have done, my darling.

You can't help looking at me the way you're looking at me now.

And I undoubtedly would have made a dive for you when the whole affair would

have come crashing into the open.

No, there's only one way for us really to be together.

Oh, James is going away.

Yes, love.

James is going away on another of his business trips.

And we decided the last time what we must do, didn't we?

Where's Toronto?

Farther than James thinks.

I knew when he sent Twining off to Toronto that he would leave him there

long enough for him to make a rather thorough mess of things.

Then the old boy would be off to the rescue.

He fancies himself a kind of one -man cavalry charge.

I've made all the arrangements.

James will never reach the Toronto office.

What are you going to do?

Now, the less you know of the details, my adorable feather brain, the better

for us both.

As things stand now, I'm completely covered.

I don't want the details of James' impending demise to be New York's

dinner topic tonight.

All you have to do is send him off to the airport with a warm and tender

farewell.

Farewell. I'll send you further instructions in the mail.

All you'll have to do is follow them.

Then, after a brief period of mourning... Oh, I look lovely in black.

You're sweet.

And rich.

And generous.

Oh, you're right, my darling.

You will look lovely in black.

Liable to be chilly up in Canada, Mr. Barrett. Did you call for a taxi?

Oh, yes, Mr. Barrett, I did.

Well, did you tell him I'm in a hurry?

Well, of course I did.

Have a good trip, Mr. Barrett.

Oopsie.

You didn't have to get up so early just to see me off. Oh, but I did. That was

the first thing in... That was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this

morning.

James is going away, I thought. I must get up and see him off.

Yes, yes, goodbye.

You make it all worthwhile, Poopsie.

That fool in Toronto is enough to make me want to chuck everything.

But you make it all worthwhile.

Your taxi's here, Mr. Barrett.

Good morning, Mrs. Barrett. Good morning, Harry.

You want me to walk Gigi for you this morning?

I'd like to have my bag taken down, if you can spare the time.

Oh, I nearly forgot. I brought up the mail.

Oh, I'll take it.

Goodbye, poopsie dear.

By this time, my sweet, your adoring husband is on his way to the airport.

Now briefly to business.

All you are to do is write James a good smarmy letter, leaving nothing to the

imagination of a policeman.

Mailed this morning, your letter should reach the Toronto office tomorrow.

It means nothing that James will never live to see it as long as it's there for

the police.

Send it airmail.

The address is at the bottom of this letter.

Now that's all you have to do.

Write it, mail it, forget it.

I suggest a small cocktail party in your apartment in the afternoon.

It will help you to forget and provide an excellent alibi for a grief -dricken

widow.

Need I remind you to destroy this?

My life is literally in your hands.

Yours forever and ever.

More.

342 Bay Street, Toronto.

What is a smarmy letter?

Your...

Your walk will do me good.

Mrs. Barrett, how nice to see you.

Oh, I'm Raymond.

Oh, now, surely you must remember that divine cocktail party at your apartment.

Oh, you give the most wonderful parties.

Thank you.

You know, I adore people who know how to give good parties.

They're such wonderful therapy, don't you think?

Oh, I'm giving one this afternoon.

Do come.

Oh, fun, fun.

Say goodbye to the pretty lady, Judy.

You idiot.

Well, I know you're snowed, Lottie, but I'm so desolate whenever James is away

and parties are such wonderful therapy.

You will?

Bless you.

Ellen, I do wish you'd stop fussing around and make some canapes.

Canapes? Hello, Carly. Oh, of course it's me.

Oh, you're sweet.

for calling you. How else could I invite you to cocktails?

Oh, cocktails.

Today, naturally.

Now, come as you are.

Oh, oh, Carly.

Oh, well, around five then.

All right, Mrs. Burrett. Canapes. You just hadn't told me.

Just tell her everything.

What is Dodie's number?

Oh, Mrs. Barrett, you didn't tell me how many guests to expect for cocktails.

Mrs. Barrett, how many?

Mrs. Barrett, don't you feel good? Can I get you something?

The last thing, please.

Oh, Mrs.

Barrett. Oh, Ellen, did you ever do something terrible, I mean really

like... like mail the wrong letter to the wrong person?

Oh, is that all? All.

Did the whole world cry? Trumbling, that's all.

Well, why don't you go to the post office and ask them to get back your

Go to the post office and ask to get it back.

Oh, sure.

I

wonder

if you could help me. You'll have to wait your time, lady.

That'll be one dollar.

What's your problem?

Miss? Mrs.

That's my problem.

I mailed a letter to my husband by mistake.

I mean, I said some awful things. I was very angry.

And now you're not angry anymore.

No, I'm not.

Glad to hear that. Why don't you go home and write your husband a nice letter

and set everything right again?

But it wouldn't.

You see, he has a very bad temper, please.

Couldn't I just have my letter back?

If it hasn't left the post office.

Well, look and see.

All right, lady. Take this form to the desk and fill it out.

I just want my letter.

I know that, lady. That's why you have to fill out the form.

Put the full address here, and down here put the location of the box where it

was mailed.

Oh, it was the box on the corner near my apartment.

What corner? You have to put down what corner. There's a pen on the desk.

Next.

I must have my letter back.

Maybe you ought to wire your husband.

Why can't I have my letter back?

This is the government office, isn't it? I'm a taxpayer.

So am I, lady.

I'm sorry, lady. That letter is government property now. Oh, it's my

Sent to Toronto, Canada.

I'm sorry, lady.

That mail left for the airport a half an hour ago.

up his for 20.

Will that be enough?

Mrs. Barrett?

Mrs. Barrett!

His life is in my hands.

Oh, look, Mrs.

Barrett, you mustn't let yourself get all upset.

Mr. Barrett has just gone off on one of his business trips, the way he does now

and then.

He'll come back.

Now, look.

My cousin Hazel went through an experience just like this.

Her husband was a lineman for the telephone company.

Three nights running, Hazel dreamed that he grabbed hold of a high -tension

wire.

Telephone company.

Nothing came of it, Mrs. Barrett.

Hazel's husband got fired.

Ellen, the door.

Ah, you'll be all right.

Long -distance operator.

Operator. I want the offices of Barrett, Twining, and Moore in Toronto.

That's in Canada.

Do you know the number?

No, I don't have the number.

Ellen, how nice to see you. Come on in, gang.

Oh, don't tell me we're the first ones here.

Oh, that's just fine.

Oh, come on in. Oh, wait. Did you see this apartment? It's absolutely divine.

And there it is.

Martini time.

Oh, wait.

Where is the ravishing Mrs. Barrett?

After all, we can't drink without our charming hostess. Where's Mrs. Barrett,

Ellen? Oh, Mrs. Barrett is in her bedroom, telephoning.

Telephoning? Oh, now, is that any way to treat Dob, Potch, Geth?

Perhaps that's one.

Let's settle the dust.

Hmm?

Ah, thank you.

Oh, hello.

What can I do, Marty? How nice to see you. You know, I miss you at the

Tolliver's. Hello, Mary.

Thank you, operator.

Will you ring through, please?

Let James be there. Please let him still be alive. Don't let Philip's plan work.

Oh, there you are.

Forgive not knocking, darling, but I knew you'd be dying of thirst.

Please, I'm telephoning.

Oh, but you needn't.

I'm here.

Oh, a lonely lie.

Don't be silly.

That line is busy.

What? The line is busy. Shall we try later and call you back?

darling. It's beginning to float.

Guys, nice people want to see you.

I'm waiting for a call. Oh, can't wait.

Life is fleeting. Life is short. Don't say that.

But life is short. And the party behind us empty bottles in the sand.

Madame and Monsieur, your charming hostess, the ravishing Mrs. Barry.

Carly, you did come with your word.

I'm going strictly on nerves and vitamin pills. My doctor says I'm a medical

impossibility. He's thinking of taking up astrology.

So this is what happens when the boss is away, Mrs. B.

We'll have to do this more often. The boss away?

Now, why didn't you tell me that when we were alone?

Have a young boy.

His wife.

I mean, I'm Mrs. James Barrett, and I'd like to speak to my husband, please. He

flew to Toronto this morning.

Oh, Mrs. Barrett.

We've been trying to contact the New York office.

Mr. Barrett hasn't arrived.

He was listed as a passenger on the plane, but he never registered at his

Hello?

Hello?

You've been away from us too long. Your drink is warming.

or I'll send this over.

Take it, Harry.

Oh, Miss Barrett, I'm sorry, but that letter that you sent to Mr. Barrett this

morning, it came back due to insufficient postage.

Oh, what a shame, Harry.

Will you give me the letter, please?

I'll see to the extra postage.

It's all taken care of.

I put on the extra stamps and mailed it again.

I knew you'd want Mr. Barrett to get it just as soon as possible.

Here's the evening paper.

You have probably been wondering about our friend in the other piano.

Rather than disturb him, we simply buried him in his piano.

It was rather moving, really.

Like going down with one ship.

And now I shall play the minute waltz.

That was the fastest I ever played it. I suppose you've noticed that this piano

has only one pedal.

Because of my speed, I had to put in an automatic transmission.

Next week I shall be back with more music and further explanatory comments.

Until then...

Good night.