All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s05e35 The Schartz-Metterklume Method

Good evening, fellow students.

I'm glad to see everyone here.

Our dear professor is very strict about
attendance.

Anyone who is absent must bring a note
signed by their television repairman.

And anyone who is tardy and misses the
first part of the program must stay out

of school and watch the late, late show.

Perhaps you are wondering why I have
this apple.

It is for the teacher, naturally.

And now we are about to take up one of
his favorite subjects.

Watch closely.

He may ask questions.

Captain, please.

Giddyup.

Giddyup.

Come on, Lobby.

Giddyup.

Giddyup. Giddyup. You there.

Giddyup. Giddyup. Lobby. Giddyup. My
man. Giddyup. Stop.

Giddyup. Stop. Giddyup. Lobby.

Giddyup. Did you hear what I said, my
man?

If you don't stop. Giddyup. Stop.

Stop.

Stop abusing that animal.

He can't possibly pull such a load up
that hill.

He's going to, Mum, and he's got to.

Nonsense. Here, give me me whip.

Nonsense. Leave half the load here by
the side of the road and come back for

Come on now, unload it at once.

This baint your affair and it baint your
oars.

Hmm, we'll see about that.

How much will you sell him for?

Him? Sell him?

Well, he's a valuable horse, a good
horse. I don't know how I could sell

How much?

Well, a horse like that, I couldn't let
go for less than ten pounds, ma 'am.

Ten pounds?

Yes, ma 'am.

Ten pounds for an overworked, decrepit
beast like that?

Oh, very well.

What's your name?

Huggins, ma 'am. Ben Huggins.

Here.

Here, now.

You... You sign it.

You don't get your ten pounds unless you
sign it.

Yes, but what does it say? It says that
you have sold me your horse for ten

pounds and that you are to keep him for
me.

You mean I get him, got to keep him? You
are to keep him and use him in your

work. He's to be well fed and not
overloaded. I should keep an eye on my

And if he isn't fat, if he isn't happy
the next time I see him, I shall take

back my ten pounds.

Do you understand?

You mean all I've got to do for me ten
pounds will be matey with me horse?

You've got to treat him like a brother.
Make him like you.

He probably loathes you, you know.

Do he?

Oh, I hadn't thought of that.

Oh, come on, Professor.

Come on, lad.

Come on now.

You take a drink of water while I nip
into the pub to get a little lad.

Refreshment meself.

Hear me?

That's the first sign of impatience that
train has shown all day.

How do you do?

You must be our new governess, Miss
Hope.

I'm Mrs. Wellington.

Where's your luggage?

Well, I'm afraid it didn't get off the
train.

Oh, how provoking.

Really, these railway companies are so
careless.

But never mind. My maid can lend you
some things for the night.

The children are so looking forward to
meeting you. Our last governess was not

at all satisfactory.

Quite a strict disciplinarian.

We're looking for somebody more up to
date.

Come along, get in.

Home, please, Simpson.

Now, I must tell you something about the
children.

Claude and Wilfred are very delicate.

They must never be spoken to in a harsh
tone. It wounds them deeply.

Then Irene?

She has the artistic temperament very
highly developed.

You must allow for that if she becomes a
little over -emotional.

I have the artistic temperament myself.

I'm sure you can control yours, Miss
Holmes.

And if Viola plays you a joke once in a
while, you must take it in good part.

It's only youthful high spirits.

I see.

And I want them not only to be taught,
but interested in what they learn.

And French, of course. I shall expect
you to speak at mealtime several days

during the week. I shall speak French
for four days of the week, and Russian

remaining three.

Russian.

My dear Miss Hope, nobody in the house
understands or speaks Russian.

There. Will not embarrass me in the
least.

I'd like the children to be out of doors
a good part of the day.

So healthy for them. Yes.

Yes, I should think they would be glad
to get out.

We're so proud of our house.

It was designed by Sir Cecil Pack in
1783.

His mother must have been frightened by
a cathedral. I beg your pardon. Oh, pray

don't apologize.

It's just that I never cared much for
neo -Gothic. No doubt you've been used

rather cramped quarters, but you'll get
used to spaciousness in time.

I'll try, Mrs. Wellington.

Perhaps you'd like to see your role
first.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Wellington.

Ah, children, this is your new
governess, Miss Hope.

Now, children, you must do all that you
can to make Miss Hope feel at home.

Wilfred. No, Claude. Oh, Claude.

Wilfred.

Irene.

Weimar.

Gertrude Nelly Roberts.

Go home at once. I'm sure your mother's
looking for you.

The Simpson children, the chauffeur you
know. Mrs. Simpson is our laundress, and

she allows her children to run wild.

I don't like those children coming into
the house.

Now, where's Nanny? Nanny?

Oh, there you are.

Nanny, those Simpson children were in
again. I do think you might manage to

them out of the house.

Miss Hope, this is Nanny.

Nanny, this is Miss Hope, our new
governess.

Now, come along, Miss Hope. I'll show
you to your room.

No, children, you stay down there with
Nanny.

You see what I mean about Claude and
Wilfred, such shy little boys.

Oh dear, it's getting very dark.

There's no gas in this hall.

There is, however, a light in your room.

Ah yes, Rose has it all ready for you. I
think you'll be very comfortable here.

Not with those pictures.

I shouldn't sleep a wink.

They must be taken down at once.

My dear Miss Hope, most governesses
would be very happy to have a room like

this. You are quite right. mistaken,
Mrs. Wellington.

After the governess's revolt... The
what? The governess's revolt, which is

to take place two weeks from tomorrow,
you will discover what a volcano you've

been sitting on all these years.

Volcano? I shouldn't have mentioned it.

Now, about those pictures... We can
discuss them another time, Miss Hope.

I shall leave you now.

You may inspect the schoolroom if you
wish.

Mr. Wellington and I are alone tonight,
so perhaps you'd care to dine with us.

We shall expect you in the drawing room
at eight o 'clock.

more than just a splash at the bottom of
the glass.

1901. Not a very good year for travel.

Are you an authority on wines, Miss
Hope? I should scarcely care to call

an authority.

But when one doesn't know anything about
wine, I do think it's wiser to consult

someone who does.

I should recommend Sheldon Brothers in
London.

Just put yourself in their hands.

And you cannot go far wrong.

I hardly think that buying the wine for
the household comes in your province,

Miss Hope.

We have very satisfactory references
about you, Miss Hope, from Canon Teep, a

most estimable man.

Drinks like a fish and beats his wife,
but otherwise quite a lovable character.

My dear Miss Hope, I trust you're
exaggerating. Oh, one must in justice

there is some provocation.

Mrs. Teep is quick. Quite the most
irritating bridge player.

I wasn't surprised when her leads and
declarations aroused a certain amount of

brutality in the cannon.

Miss Hope, I hardly think that... But
sousing her with the entire contents of

the soda water siphon, that was going a
little far.

You may think me hasty in my judgments,
but it was practically on account of the

siphon incident that I left.

I don't wish to hear any more.

I shall never allude to it again.

Miss Hope, with what studies do you
intend to begin the children's

Biology. Biology to begin with, and then
possibly history.

Oh, history, yes, by all means, yes,
history. Now, when you're teaching them

history, you must take care that they
have interest in what they learn.

You must make them feel that they are
being introduced to the lives of men and

women who really lived.

I've told her that.

I teach history.

On the Schatzmetaklum method.

The, uh... Oh, I see.

Schatzmetaklum.

German, I suppose.

Oh, Mr. Wellington.

What a sense of humor you have.

John, we'll leave you to your port.

That is, unless you require more wine,
Miss Hope. Oh, no.

Oh, no. What I had was quite enough.

I shall go to my room now.

You might send me up a bottle of brandy,
please, and a decent glass to drink it

from. The only one I observed in my room
was a tooth mug.

Good night, Mr. Wellington.

Good night.

Will someone give me a light?

Or am I supposed to feel my way up to
this black hole?

I'm sorry, Miss.

I didn't expect you up so soon. I was
going to leave a candle on the landing,

but Nanny said it might be dangerous and
the house might catch on fire. That

might be a good thing.

Here we are.

I'll just turn the gas up, shall I? Oh,
thank you, Rose.

That's hardly an improvement, is it?

I brought you some nightclothes, Miss,
till your baggage arrives.

I do hope they fit all right. If they
belong to Mrs. Wellington, that is

scarcely likely.

However, it is of no importance.

I always make the best of things.

I'll just turn the bed down, shall I?
Yes.

The bathroom's just down the passage,
miss.

Thank you.

Will there be anything else?

No. Oh, yes.

You might find out what became of the
brandy I ordered.

Oh, well, never mind.

Good night, Rose.

Miss Hope hasn't brought the children
back yet, ma 'am.

And it's time they were washing their
hands before lunch. Back? Well, where

they gone? They went off right after
breakfast.

Haven't been seen since.

They missed their elevenses entirely.

Now they'll be late for lunch and the
vicar coming.

Really, this is most irritating.

Mrs. Wellington, are you sure that Miss
Hope is going to do... Never mind that

now, Nanny. Let me know the moment they
come back. I must finish this letter

before the vicar arrives.

She told... cook she wanted chocolate
pudding for breakfast i thought it would

be a good idea if we could prevail upon
lady specially to allow us to use her

garden for the bizarre if the weather
was fine don't you think that a good

mrs wellington what oh yes i'm so sorry
vicar but i am a bit worried about

the children i'm sure nothing's happened
to them mrs wellington unless of course

they went picking flowers in the field
with mr hankins

I see you didn't delay lunch for me.
Quite right, of course.

Good afternoon, Vicar.

My shooting coat.

Mommy, I got 64 tadpoles. We caught them
ourselves, see? See? He's a harmless

kind. Isn't he sweet?

Look, boys, specimens.

Take them away.

Throw those dirty things away.

Oh, John, how can you sit there? Go to
Nanny instantly.

No, no, no.

makes one feel quite hungry, doesn't it,
Vicar?

Oh, yes.

Do you find this system of education
quite satisfactory? Oh, yes.

Miss Hope, quite satisfactory. I believe
Mrs. Wellington forgot to introduce us.

Yes, the children will learn all about
the reproductive system of the frog,

which will lead on, quite naturally, to
the higher forms of life. Don't you

think they're a little young?

Do you mean no? I shall teach them
everything.

Good afternoon, Vicar.

Go to the nursery at once, children. No,
no, the back stairs. Go up the back

stairs. Just send my lunch on a tray to
my room. I shall take a nap till tea

time.

I like biology.

I'm going to be a biologist when I grow
up and have tens and tens of specimens.

Indeed you're not.

You've probably all caught your death of
cold.

Ah, Miss Hope, I trust you slept well.
Very well, thank you.

The fresh air always makes me feel
drowsy.

Do you always allow your children to
have tea with you? I don't leave the

of the children entirely to the
servants.

They have tea with us whenever we have
no game.

Very commendable.

However, I should think it would inhibit
adult conversation.

A careless word and one finds oneself
quoted in the most embarrassing

circumstances.

We are not accustomed to embarrassing
topics of conversation, Miss Hope.

Miss Hope, is the mother... A frog just
lays her eggs and goes away.

How does she know which are her babies?

Frogs are notoriously indifferent to
their offspring.

She doesn't care which are her babies.

Doesn't the father frog care?

He's even more indifferent than the
mother, if possible.

Why does she lay the eggs if she isn't
fond of children?

It's a biological necessity. What else
would she do with them?

Perhaps we should change the subject.

But cats like their kittens, and dogs
like their puppies.

And cows like their cubs. Do cats lay
eggs? Do dogs?

Do cows?

Oh, Wilfred, you're so silly.

Did you ever see a cow egg?

Well, you see, Wilfred, the truth of the
matter is, Miss Hope, very well.

You will confine your remarks to frogs,
please, children.

The Schatzmetaclub method covers one
thing at a time.

It'll be some weeks before we get to
cows.

You are not going to get to cows, Miss
Hope. Not for some time, at any rate.

since we have biology only on Thursday.

What shall we study tomorrow, Miss Hope?
Tomorrow?

Tomorrow I shall teach you history.

John, have you spoken to Miss Hope?

Yes. That is, no, I tried to, but... But
what?

All you have to tell her is that we
don't think she's suitable for this

I did, but she didn't seem to hear me.

She said that... She had no time for
conversation. They're having a history

lesson this morning.

And she didn't want to be distracted
until after lunch.

Well, where are they now?

I don't know.

Rose, where are the children?

Well, I'm not sure, ma 'am. I think
they're in the garden.

What are you doing dragging it about
here in the dirt?

Go and put something on instantly.

Are you out of your mind coming out here
with no clothes on?

But Miss Hope says wolves don't wear
anything under their skin.

Miss Hope?

Well, what's the meaning of this?

Answer me.

Well, we're having a history lesson.

Viola's supposed to be Rome, and I'm the
she -wolf. You know, the one that

adopted Romulus and Remus.

Flord and Rafferty have gone to fetch
the shabby women.

The shabby women?

Yes. They've got to catch them.

They didn't want to, but Miss Hope got
one of Father's rackets and said she

would give them a spanking if they
didn't, so they've gone to do it.

Wilfred, Claude, let those children go
at once.

What do you think you're doing? What's
happening? What is going on? That's what

I should like to know.

John, talk to Mrs. Simpson.

Raise her salary.

Explain to her. But what should I...

What is the meaning of this disgraceful,
inexcusable... Well, answer me, Miss

Hope. What were you doing with my
children?

Well, I was teaching them early Roman
history. The rape of the Sabine women,

know. It's the Schatzmetoklum method to
make children understand history by

acting it themselves.

It fixes it in their memories.

Of course, if thanks to your
interference your boys go through life

Sabine women ultimately escaped, I
can't... I cannot be held responsible.

I consider the shards metaclue method as
irresponsible as you, Miss Hope.

You'll kindly leave here by the next
train.

Your luggage will be sent after you when
it arrives.

As you will.

At least I shall have started the
children in the right direction.

You might keep my luggage until I wire
my address.

There are only a couple of trunks, some
goth clubs, and a cheetah cub.

A cheetah cub?

Well, he's rather left off being a cub.
He's more than half grown.

A fowl every day and a rabbit on Sunday
is what he usually gets.

Raw beef makes him excitable. Oh, please
don't bother to order the car for me. I

feel like a walk.

Oh, good day, ma 'am.

Oh, good day, Huggins.

How's my horse?

Is he beginning to like you any better?

Like me?

Why, he loves me, ma 'am.

I'm delighted to hear it.

I treat him fair.

When I takes a drink, he takes a drink.
Good.

Oh, there's my train. I must let it get
away from me.

Goodbye, Huggins.

I shall expect Ferdinand to have gained
at least a stone by the time I see him

again. Who?

Ferdinand, my horse.

Ferdinand?

Who?

I don't know how he'll take to that.

Ferdinand, you've always... been known
as Norby, haven't you?

I beg your pardon.

Are you Mrs. Wellington?

No, decidedly not.

You must be Miss Hope.

I don't think she's expecting you today,
Miss Hope. I should advise you to hire

a conveyance of some sort and drive out
to the house.

Goodbye.

We've quite given you up. You know, we
went to the station yesterday and the

before. Well, where have you been, Lady
Charlotte?

We were beginning to worry about you.

Your luggage is far more prompt than you
are, Charlotte.

The train went off without me at Little
Tipton, so I had to stay with a family

of complete strangers.

It was a very interesting experience.

Really? Oh, I hope Rover hasn't been a
nuisance.

He's been living in the stables with
Perkins.

We've become quite attached.

to him. In that case, I shall make you a
present of him, Jenny dear.

Oh, thank you, Charlotte. That's very
kind of you, dear.

But don't you think he'd be far happier
in the zoo with all the other animals

and things?

Perhaps. Oh, now do sit down and let me
pour you some tea.

How very tiresome for you, Charlotte
dear, losing your train and then having

stay with those strange people.

Oh, dear, no.

Not at all tiresome for me.

I thought that was an excellent lesson
on how to put idle time to good use.

And now I have a lesson.

to write on the board the rest of you
are to be part of an experiment in sleep

teaching this is the theory that if a
message is repeated during one's sleep

becomes a part of one's subconscious
this particular lesson is unusually well

fitted for this experiment for it not
only repeats its message but if you

already asleep it takes care of that

Our beloved professor took umbrage at my
remarks concerning his audio -visual

aids. But I don't believe I need to
finish this. You see, our professor was

teaching us by the Schatzmetaklum
method.

He was playing the part of Louis XVI on
his way to the guillotine, and he failed

to realize that the class was filled
with very dedicated Schatzmetaklum

actors. Our professor will not be back
next week, but I shall. Until

then, good night.