All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s05e24 Madame Mystery

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm making credit cards.

As you can see, this credit card is
cleverly patterned after the five -pound

note. In this way, we do away with such
troublesome features as the monthly

statement. or the necessity for
solvency.

Furthermore, these are good in any city
in the country and in any business

establishment, provided the cashier is
near -sighted. And now you may watch

our play if your credit is good.

Can I come in?

I'm Lois.

I just fell in your ocean.

I know you won't mind.

Oh, I don't mind.

I mean, it's not as though we couldn't
find another ocean if we had to.

Jimmy told me you loaned me a blanket at
least until we get to his place.

He's getting some things out of the car.

Jimmy? Jimmy Dolan, you mean?

Mm -hmm.

I'm just getting started in the
business.

We came from the studio together.

I see.

Well, you seem to have been pretty well
laundered.

I'm cold.

Look, I own a blanket, but I think it's
out in the line.

Just a minute.

How's that?

Thank you.

Stevie! Stevie, Stevie, listen.

I gotta talk to you. Why?

Why? So you can shine like a glowworm
instead of a schnook, that's why. And

maybe pick yourself up two. Three
hundred bucks.

How much?

You heard me, man. Maybe I can't
guarantee the three, but there's at

bills in it for you if you want to wade
through this.

Another publicity job for the studio?

My biggest and best. Well, no thanks.
I'm halfway through my book. Ah, halfway

through your miserable book.

Three quarters through the soles of your
one pair of shoes.

Jimmy.

This is the literary life?

35 minutes from Hollywood with all the
comforts of an abandoned mine shaft?

Look, Lilacs, go plant yourself
someplace where you're ready to bloom

talking with a man. Can't you see that?

Now, look.

Not here.

My place, baby.

My place. You know the way, don't you,
huh?

Come on.

And don't brush your teeth with a box
again. Remember what I told you last

Ah, that was real sweet, Jimmy.

Get the fella here.

Come off it. Venom is a waste of time.

Could you do something for her?

Oh, what an awful question to ask me.

Stevie boy, you're looking at a man who
just spent four solid hours in the MP's

private office.

In whose office? MP, the owner, the boss
of the studio.

He listened to everything I had to say
and he said to me, MP, did he say,

this can be the... Biggest public
relations deal since the invention of

ether bunny. What can be?

The Betsy Blake thing. What do you
think?

Well,

you know what happened to her, don't
you?

Well, sure. There hasn't been much else
in the paper for the past week.

She got herself killed in a speedboat
accident.

Just out beyond Catalina Harbor, wasn't
it? That's right.

Her speedboat went head -on into another
speedboat, killing Mr. Lewis Pryor, a

fairly important citizen in Pasadena,
and herself.

But the most important thing is this.

Until I had my talk with MP this
afternoon, it looked like Betsy had also

$6 million Goliath production in living,
breathing color and audacity of the

newest dimension in sound.

You mean that picture Splendor? That's
right. Well, it's all wrapped up.

No more retakes. The sets have been
struck. The whole thing's in a can. Just

days before she goes out and gets
herself killed.

Well, it's kind of tough on Betsy, I
suppose, but how's it going to hurt the

picture? I mean, you've had nothing but
publicity for the past week.

It could help the picture.

Help a judge grade if we were going into
distribution today or tomorrow.

But the important thing is that we're
all set for late autumn release around

Thanksgiving to catch the holiday trade
and make a bid for the awards.

Well, that's three months away.

By that time, all the excitement's over.
The public interest is going to be as

dead as Betsy Blake.

By November, you could change the title
to Asleep in the Deep.

Well, she was a real dish in her day,
I'll tell you that.

What makes you think they'll forget her
so soon?

Kid, I was raised in this business,
Stevie boy. It's in my blood.

I've got what MP calls box office
instinct. I can't help it, lights go on

off inside of me, you know what I mean?
Oh, save it, please. Don't start talking

like a Hollywood pioneer to me. I happen
to know you're just a fresh kid chasing

a rapid dollar.

You're 23 years old.

How do you know?

That time two summers ago when the
waiter wouldn't serve you a drink, you

show him your driver's license?

You were 21 at the time.

You think you're pretty smart, don't
you? Well, I can add 21 and 2.

You think you're so smart that you have
to sit here in this sun -kissed big star

waiting for some kid like me to bail you
out of hot for a couple hundred bucks,

huh? You can go now, Jimmy, and take
your money with you.

Nobody asked you to come down here.

Can't you take a joke?

Fuck Stevie, boy.

Why do you think I'm here, huh? Because
you have to grind out 90 yards a copy

about Betsy Blake and you haven't got
the writing talent of a backward high

school boy.

An equally important reason is you don't
want the people who pay you a big fat

salary to find it out.

Yeah.

Well, it looks like we understand each
other, right? I wouldn't say that, but

understand a few things we mightn't have
understood before.

But about Betsy Blake.

Her body wasn't recovered until this
morning, was it? That's right. She

up on the shore.

The identification was positive. Well,
sure. Well, naturally, she couldn't have

looked like Miss Palm Frond of 1943, but
the authorities were satisfied.

That's what I told MP this afternoon. I
said, that wraps it up. That makes it

official. The mystery's gone.

A month from now, people won't remember
whether it was Betsy Blake or Betty Boop

that went for a ride in that speedboat.

They won't remember unless...

And that's when the inspiration hit me,
Steve. What inspiration?

I pointed to a picture hanging on the
wall in MP's office, and I said to him,

there's your solution right there, and
it was a picture of Mr.

Rudolph Valentino.

MP got the message.

What's Valentino got to do with it?

Death, man.

Death turned Rudolph Valentino into a
legend. That's what MP was able to

understand. Some smart people saw to it
that Rudy had the most sensational

funeral this country ever saw, up to,
but not including, the burial of Miss

Betsy Blake.

What was done for the screen's greatest
lover certainly can be done for Madam

Mystery. Madam who?

Madam Mystery, some name they pinned on
her a few years back when she was, um...

Mysterious? Yeah, mysterious.

This thing that I'm about to create,
Stevie Boy, is an art that's gonna

be able to float.

We're gonna bury Betsy Blake like she
was Mother McCree, Sweet Georgia Brown,

Cleopatra, the sweetheart of Sigma Chi,
Salome, all wrapped up into one.

I'm going out, boy. I'm going way, way
out. And it's gonna make me a big man in

this town. I can just see it.

Then we go into the spook department.

You'll hear it around for a little
while.

And then you'll see the first printed
rumor.

Is Betsy Blake still alive?

Now, how can you get away with that when
she's being buried this week?

That's the mystery angle, man.

You've got no imagination.

We know she's dead.

We know she's gone like an old dropped
lemon pie.

But you've got to realize she's been
floating around in the water for a week

she didn't look like... You can skip the
details.

I keep forgetting you're sensitive.

Meanwhile, I'm juggling a couple other
ideas for this campaign. The real Betsy

Blake. And the Betsy Blake nobody knows.
What do you think of that?

Depends.

I guess you can get a lot of mileage out
of the Betsy Blake that nobody knows.

Did you know her?

Are you kidding? I handled the publicity
for years.

Oh, it's your age.

Will you lay off my age?

Maybe Salzbach took the bow as head of
promotion, but it was me, Stevie, little

Jimmy here that was digging in there
with that spade.

That's what MP was able to understand.
What do you think he gave me this big

chance for anyway? Now, does that
satisfy you? Look, it's no skin off my

But incidentally, how old was Betsy
Blake?

Well, let's say she was no spring
chicken, but she kept her feathers nice

smooth.

To me, she was around a pretty long
time.

Look, Stevie boy, I've got to have a
prospectus in M .P.'s hands by Monday

morning. I'm counting on you, pal, to
help me with the fancy prose.

So you'll think you wrote it?

Yeah, I'll level with you.

That 200 bucks comes out of my pocket.
So what? So who cares?

So it'll take you off the K -rations for
a while, and you can go back to your

corny book with your stomach full.

Now, the answer is no.

You know how I feel about razzle -dazzle
promotions of this kind.

Three hundred bucks on the table.

One, two, three. Now, there could be a
bonus in this for you, Steve, as soon as

the picture comes out. You might even be
able to get your plumbing fixed. Now,

what do you say last chance?

Tell me some more about Betsy Blake.

Well, look, I've got to be knocking off.

I'll leave the tools inside there for
you. You know, it gets dark pretty early

down here in November.

You, uh, you don't get lonesome down
here all by yourself, do you? No, it's

of those things.

Well, uh -oh.

I forgot it was Friday night.

That must be the genius.

I don't see no Coors Landing broads down
there.

You think he's sick?

You'll have to ask him.

He's got a convertible out there as long
as a hook and ladder.

Public relations manager for Goliath
Pictures, huh?

Well, Steve, tell me something, will
you?

How does a young punk his age hold on to
a job like that?

You think he knows where some bodies are
buried?

You got me.

I'll let you know if I ever find out.

I'll see you.

Alfredo, my good man, how are you?

What's with him?

His daughter brought home love secrets
from beyond the grave.

You're kidding.

Hey, you know those phony fan clubs I
organized eight weeks ago?

That I remember. Well, they ain't phony
no more. I got 50 ,000 lovesick

volunteers gazing into their tea leaves
and their Betsy Blake voodoo rings. You

think I'm kidding you?

What about your conscience?

My what? Oh, my conscience. Oh, yeah, I
forgot to tell you.

I swapped it to the Daughters of
Salvation for a bass drum.

We open up nationwide next week, Stevie
boy.

No sneak previews or test patterns for
my skyrocket. Just solid bookings right

across the nation.

You think MP doesn't know who wrapped
this package up?

I've got a contract in my pocket that he
gave me this afternoon.

I don't want to shock you, pal.

But the salary figures read like the
round -trip mileage to the moon.

Congratulations.

love secrets from beyond the grave. How
do you like that? And, Madam Mystery, no

less than I was Betsy Blake's
astrologist. I'm telling you, it's

The best thing that washed out platinum
-rinsed old pelican ever did in her life

was to ram her speedboat into that jerk
from Pasadena. What was... Mr... Mr.

Friar of Pasadena, Jimmy.

Mr. Lewis Friar was the gentleman's
name.

I think the next episode should be the
cutest one, don't you?

The return of Betsy Blake.

You have to stare at me like that?

It's not possible.

You've got no right. Sure, I was
thoughtless of me. I should have stayed

No bag comes stumbling back after 90
days with her hair three different

and a poached egg look in each eye.

Listen, I... You don't say anymore. Just
keep your mouth shut.

You got a kind face, dear.

Stupid, but compassionate.

You got a little drink for a little old
man of mystery?

Oh, there's some.

Don't apologize if that's the angel,
boy. I spotted it already.

That's all you got?

Right so.

Oh, sorry to take all your vitamins,
dear.

Remind me to get your case someday.

Ow.

That's much, much better.

I haven't had a drink in an hour and a
half.

I can tell you what this is all about.

Actually, well, the newspapers didn't
have anything right except Louis Fryer's

name and my own. I had to laugh.

Laugh someplace else. Come on, let's go.

No, no, no. Let her talk.

You weren't in a speedboat accident?

Oh, sure. We hit all right. I went to
Louis Fryer and his girlfriend like a

torpedo.

Peter, they used to call me. You
remember that, Jim? Louie Fryer's

What girlfriend?

Well, like I was going to tell you. See,
there was this doll.

Some floozy that he must have picked up
on the beach. That was Louie Fryer for

you every time.

She was blonde, and so I suppose people
figured her for me.

Especially after seven days in the
water.

Go on.

This is going to kill you, Junior.

There must have been a lot of... corking
the stuff I drank that day because I

just wasn't easy to sink.

A fishing trawler picked me up.

An old tub out of San Diego with a new
coat of paint.

Must have looked a little bit like me,
huh?

Well, anyway, it was on its way to
Seattle.

A Swede by the name of Eric fished me
out of the channel.

He was sort of a blonde Humphrey Bogart
with muscles.

He mixed his own booze and an oil drum.

We were the only one on board.

Best three months I had in my whole
life.

It's not possible.

It's just not possible!

Well, you stick to your dreams, Junior,
and I'll stick to mine.

It was a whole week before we saw the
Seattle newspapers.

Eric brought a stack on board. Laugh, I
thought we'd split the deck.

I shouldn't imitate Eric's accent, but
when he said, there do we go from here,

took one look at that Nordic rooster and
said, as far away from Goliath Studios

as you can sail this tub.

So he took off.

For three months?

Why not?

First vacation I've ever had in my whole
life.

Nobody around to say, Betsy, what's the
calories?

Betsy, lay off the grape.

So what if I did gain weight?

We'd have been gone three years if he
hadn't run out of cash.

And I plan to change that just as soon
as I get to my safe deposit box.

But there's one thing, Junior. You did a
great publicity job.

I especially enjoyed the accounts of my
own funeral.

I like the magazine articles, too.

Love Secrets from Beyond the Grave.

Eric liked that one, too.

What's the matter? You don't look happy,
Jim Precious.

Should I?

No.

Come on, I need to drink more than you
do. Well, anybody's booze is better than

no booze.

I'll see you later, Steve. There'll be
something I want to talk to you about.

You know what I mean?

Looks like a course built for goats, but
not a goat as old as this one, huh?

You had to ruin it, didn't you?

You had to come back and hog your way
into the act?

Well, I had it made. Do you hear me? I
had it all wrapped up, Goliath. I was

of the year until you come in here
looking like something from Halloween.

Thank you.

Tell me more.

I'll tell you more, but it won't be any
news to you. You had to come back and

take your curtain call and take the
shine off the only success I ever made

own. Well, that's Betsy for you. Good
old Betsy Blake.

Well, I worked like a pig in a pit to
put this promotion on. I went without

for 90 days to turn an old crow like you
into a bird of paradise and whammy,

right into the tin can the old crow
comes throupling home.

You are sweet, Jimmy.

Real sweet.

You should have remembered that.

Well, if you don't believe me, ask MP.
He told me this afternoon that when they

talk about legends, they're not going to
talk about Valentino or Jimmy Dean.

They're going to say it all started with
Jimmy Dolan and Betsy Blake.

I turned your rotten picture into a
guaranteed success. That's who did it.

me. I made you, took your Nickelodeon
talent, turned it into the kind of

that the public would buy. Listen, you
couldn't have gotten into Goliath

a pistol and a crowbar if it hadn't have
been for me.

You're the brains of a moth and the
personality of a cobra when I went to MP

told him he had to give you a job.

What do you want?

Where's Betsy?

What makes you think that old thing was
Betsy Blank?

Oh, come on. Come off it. How many
drinks did you have?

Suppose.

Suppose for the sake of an idea I had,
suppose it wasn't her.

Look, I've been to the movies too many
times.

Why, her voice, the way she talks.

Where is Betsy now?

There was an accident.

And it wasn't my fault.

She was hurt?

Is she dead?

Well, is she?

Steve, you gotta help me. Like I said,
it wasn't my fault. She had it coming to

her. Yeah, Jimmy?

I don't mean that. What I mean, I mean
she was drunk.

Steve, you gotta help me. She tripped
and she fell.

Why did you kill her?

Why? The greatest publicity job in the
last 20 years?

And she turns it into a fire?

Do you know for certain that she's dead?

I tried to drag her away from my place,
but I couldn't.

I heard people walking along the beach,
and I got scared, and I came here.

Steve, you gotta help me, please!

Sure, I'll help you. You're such a real
nice kid. I'll call the cops and have

them come and take your body away.

Steve, she's no good. She's a drunk.

She's a liar. She's no good.

I've got five grand home, $5 ,000 that I
got as a bonus from this campaign. It's

all yours if you'll just help me.

As far as anybody's concerned, Betsy
Blake's been dead for three months.

You can help me.

Help me move the body and put it in the
trunk of my car.

Give me the police.

You'd kill your own mother to be a big
man at Goliath Studios, wouldn't you?

My mother?

That's right, Stevie.

But how did you know that's who she was?

So much for our ode to mother love.

I must say it was a pleasant change to
meet Jimmy Dolan.

Here's a boy unsullied by any Oedipus
complex, not tied by any silver cord,

unfettered by any sentimental claptrap.

Just a healthy, happy, well -adjusted
killer.

It's all very refreshing.

And now, for those of you who are
accustomed to enjoying television...

here is something that is also
refreshingly different, after which I'll

By the way, I'm no longer in the credit
card business.

Someone was flooding the country with
exact reproductions of our cards.

When I discovered the culprit was the
government, I thought it best to bow out

gracefully.

As for our story... I must say it was a
pleasant change to meet Jimmy Dolan.

Here was a boy, unsullied by any Oedipus
complex, not tied by any silver cord,

unfettered by any sentimental claptrap.

Just a healthy, happy, well -adjusted
killer.

However, Jimmy subsequently had a bit of
bad luck.

He met with an accident in his home and
died as a result of a fall.

He tripped over his grandmother while he
was attempting to throw her down a

flight of stairs.

Very sad.

Next time I shall return with another
story, equally uplifting. Until then,

night.

Okay.