All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s04e36 Invitation To An Accident

Good evening, parents, and welcome once
again to Uncle Alfred's

Storybook.

We thought it would be refreshing to
present a children's program at night

the little darlings were in bed so that
adults could watch it undisturbed and

without all that peanut butter on the
picture tube.

Tonight's fairy tale comes to you
slightly expurgated.

we felt that there were certain parts of
it unsuitable for adults.

Therefore, we have cut that part where
the stepmother is forced to dance in red

-hot metal shoes, and the scene where
the pretty's daughter has her hands cut

off, as well as a bit about the old
servant being turned into a toad.

We also omitted the part where the dwarf
falls into the boiling cauldron, where

the raven plucks out the king's eyes,
and where the magic staff beats the old

witch to a pulp.

Admittedly, our story has lost some of
its punch, but we deem the deletions

necessary because adults just don't have
the same sense of humor as their

children. And now, once upon a time,
there was a wicked old

king. Three times each half hour, he
would look into the glass in his living

room and ask, Mirror, mirror on the
wall, whose product is the best of

all?

And the mirror would answer.

Thank you, my dear.

I'd like to give more parties.

And I find them a little sad now. The
old order is passing.

I don't want to alarm you, Mrs. Bedsall,
but Virgilia is out in the garden with

a man, and it's not her husband.

I do wish she'd show a little discretion
in her flirtations.

I rather suspect there's something more
than that.

She's with her ex -husband.

Cam, this is too bad of him.

I'm going to have to speak to that
nephew of mine.

I'm afraid the damage is done.

Her husband has been drinking and might
get violent.

Well, don't just sit here, Albert. Get
out there and tell Vigilia to behave

herself.

Yes, of course.

Sorry.

to intrude.

Oh, well, but you did give me quite a
start.

Ah, no doubt.

Good evening, Cam.

Well, Albert, how are you, old man?

Very fit.

I hated to break in, but I thought
Virginia should know her present husband

showing signs of becoming disagreeable.
Oh, is he drinking too much?

I should say he's just one drink away
from coming out to find you. Oh, Cam,

you'd better run along. Joseph gets very
upset about things like this.

Well, since I am a devout coward, good
night, one and all.

Yes, I think you should go in.

Oh, well, but you're always my knight in
shining armor.

You're one of those enduring things of a
crazy world.

I've turned the place upside down
looking for you. Sure you have.

Who helped you look?

I think it's just about time we started
home now, don't you, dear?

Why? Is the party over?

Who are we outside with?

Let's don't make a scene now, Joseph.

I want to know who he is.

You were gone for over an hour.

You're being unreasonable, dear.

Those are old childhood friends of mine,
and I haven't seen them since we were

married. It's only natural that I'd want
to talk to as many as possible.

Virgie.

Yes, dear?

I don't want to cut you off from your
friends.

Just because we're married has no reason
to... Well, I mean, you go ahead and

see anybody you want anytime.

I want you to keep your old friends.

Well, that's very sweet of you, dear.

I'd like to be friends with him, too.

Fergie, I tell you what. Why don't we
have somebody over for dinner Friday

night? Anybody you want.

Well, that's a very nice idea, but are
you sure that you wouldn't mind?

Yeah, I'd like it.

I really would.

Well, that's wonderful.

And I know just who I'll invite.

Oh?

A very old admirer.

Good.

Albert, how nice to see you. And you, my
dear, as lovely as ever.

Woo -hoo, you have a little bald spot.

It would be comforting to find some
small mark of time on you.

But you haven't changed since your first
dancing class.

Dear Albert.

Do you realize that it's been almost a
year since you were here last?

It's not quite the same now, you know.
Your ex -husband didn't seem to mind an

old admirer calling, but I'm not so sure
about this one.

Oh, this is Joseph's idea to have you to
dinner.

Come on.

Joseph, you're... You remember Albert,
don't you? Sure.

How are you, Al? Good to see you.

What are you drinking, Manhattan or
whiskey?

Would you have any sherry?

Sherry?

Oh, yeah, sure. I guess there's some
around the house somewhere.

Well, make yourself at home, Al. Any
friend of Virgie's, you know.

Oh, dinner will be ready shortly. I just
want to talk and talk and talk.

There's so much to catch up on, I feel
as though if I'd been away.

Oh, thank you, man.

What have you been doing, Albert?

Oh, life goes on pretty much the same.

Civic committees, charity lunches, that
sort of thing. And you just love that,

don't you?

Yes, I suppose so.

It gives one a sense of permanency.

What's that?

Oh, that's the scaffolding banging
against the house. I'm having it

and those fools were too lazy to take it
down and they quit for the day.

They couldn't know the wind was going to
blow, Josie.

Virgie, they're just too lazy to take it
down, that's all. Don't get upset,

Joseph. Who's upset?

Dinner is served, ma 'am.

Thank you, Flora.

Come on, Al. Let's eat.

I'm for progress, Al. I believe in
keeping up property values. And that

mean septic tanks. That means sewers.

That's right.

They're an absolute necessity. Albert,
would you like some more coffee?

No, thank you. I've had enough.

I'll have another cup.

Joseph's made a lot of improvements
around the house, too.

You should just see the wrought iron
furniture that he made for the garden

his own hands.

I don't think Al's interested in my
hobbies.

Oh, quite the contrary.

Oh, let me show them to you, then.

Oh, Joseph will be out soon as he
finishes his coffee, won't you, Joseph?

Yes, yes, you two run along.

Oh, Virgie, I'll bring your coat out.
It's probably a little cool out there.

See there?

With his own hand.

Come on, I'll show you the porch.

By all means.

Albert, have you heard anything about
Cam and me lately?

Should there be?

Well, I hope not, but I've been seeing
quite a lot of you. Good heavens, what

for?

Albert, you never lose your plum, do
you?

Well, what do you expect me to say?

Good luck.

Carry on.

But you don't mean that because you
don't approve, do you?

You can hardly expect me to condone it.

On the other hand, I must confess I have
a lot more respect for Cam than I do

for Joseph Pond.

Albert, you just can't imagine how it's
been lately.

It's like living with an adage, all work
and no play.

Joseph has laboriously constructed my
happiness ever since we were married.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I just feel like I don't want
to go on living.

No, my dear.

You should have married me, Albert.

You must know I've always been very fond
of you.

Oh, dear Albert.

I'm afraid you prefer to have a woman on
your arms rather than one in them.

It seems that everything I say to you
comes out in the form of advice, but I

wondered if you've considered the danger
of what you're doing.

My impression of your husband is that he
could become rather violent.

Primitive is the word, isn't it?

Oh, Albert, what should I do?

I can think of only one possible
solution.

Stop seeing Cam.

Oh, Albert, I knew you'd say that. Just
knew.

There's the forge.

That's the port that's the forge would
you like to go and listen to some high

fidelity recording?

Albert hmm, oh Oh

black the latches on

Virginia!

Virginia!

The doctor said she's going to be all
right. He gave her a slight sedative.

Oh, and all the excitement, I forgot to
thank you.

You saved her life, Al. Oh, I didn't do
anything.

What I don't understand is how the rope
could break.

It's new, brand new.

A good half inch thick.

That didn't break.

It strayed through.

Must have been a sliver of iron from the
pulley.

And then the... Sure, you can see where
it's worn away.

Probably the wind and the weight of the
plank.

Broke these last few strands.

I think we both need a drink, Al.

18.

19.

20.

I'm getting out of condition.

I've got no wind.

I better stop watching myself.

No wind.

No wind.

There was no wind when the scaffold
fell.

Why did Joseph say there was a wind?

Albert, are you all right? A bit dopey,
but fully recovered.

I'm sorry about the way I folded on you
last night.

I mean, really all right.

Of course.

It's very sweet of you to call. I'm
always such a bother to people.

Virginia, have any other accidents
happened to you recently?

One is quite enough, thank you.

What do you mean, Albert?

Oh, nothing really.

I do worry about you, you know.

Well...

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Oh, good evening, Miss Magnum. Good
evening, Flora. I believe I'm expected.

Oh, yes, indeed.

Mrs. Pond called a little while ago.

She's sorry she's been detained, but
she'll be here shortly.

And how is Mr. Pond this evening? He's
napping, sir. Shall I tell him you're

here? I think I'll wait until Mrs. Pond
gets here. Yes, sir.

Mrs. Bensoul, Joseph Pond is going to
murder Vigilia.

Albert, I know Vigilia is an
exasperating young woman. I told you I

Are you referring to that wretched
business about the scaffolding? Yes.

He's going to try arsenic next.

I saw a container of it in his workshop,
but it's missing now.

I hope you're not letting your
imagination run away with you.

At this very moment, Joseph Pond is
lying in his bed, recovering from what

doctor diagnosed as Tomein. I tell you,
Mrs. Bedsall, I know it's arsenic

poisoning. He intended it for her, but
accidentally took it himself.

I suppose it's because of this
ridiculous business with Cam.

The problem is how to protect Vigilia.

That's what the police are for.

No, no, no, no, that wouldn't do. I told
you, I've no proof.

I would think once this man Pond knew
the police were aware of his intentions,

that would be sufficient to stop him.

But then it would all become public
knowledge.

And think of what that would do to a
woman like Vigilia.

Albert, you must confront this man Pond.
I?

You want to help Vigilia, don't you?

Yes. Yes, of course.

Yes, I believe you're right.

I will simply make it clear that I am
watching him.

So he won't dare go ahead with his plan.

Albert, Flora said you'd come and gone.
I'm so sorry I wasn't here.

How is your husband?

I don't know. I haven't been up yet. I
just got home.

I'd like to have a word with him. Well,
come along.

Albert, I think you'd better let me wake
him up first.

Oh, you're awake.

Albert came to see you.

Well, that was nice of you, Al.

Good evening. How do you feel?

Well, good as new.

Doc says I can get up tomorrow.

Wants me to take some time off. Go
hunting or some silly thing like that.

Might not be such a bad thing.

Well, that's what I've been telling you.
Darling, you really do work too hard.

Well, if you come along with me. I don't
think I'm the campfire type.

Well, I can't quite picture myself going
off into the wilderness all alone.

What about you coming along, Al?

Hunting.

Well,

if you don't care about hunting, what
about some surf fishing?

I know a place just below the border
that's got the cleanest, whitest sand

you've ever seen.

I haven't been there in ten years, but
if the tourists haven't found it...

What do you think, Al? Did you stand my
company?

Good notes.

Not a bad notion.

It'll give us a chance to talk.

Yeah.

All the stupid things they do. Go and
leave a coffee pot at home.

You sure you didn't leave it in the car?

Yeah, I looked everywhere. I just forgot
to pack it, that's all.

Well, we have to make the best of it
with a can.

It'll be a pretty strong brew, but it'll
be coffee.

Oh, I wonder why we give up all this.

All this peace.

Simply to crowd ourselves into cities.

Probably to get a good cup of coffee.

But do we gain anything worthwhile?

Protection, mostly.

Protect property.

That comes first.

That's the main reason families herded
together into cities.

As a matter of fact, I'd still like to
live on a ranch, Al.

But I can't get Virgie to sell that old
barn.

That's one of the finest old homes on
Bedstow Drive.

Old is right.

But you do agree that the irritations of
the city disappear out in the open.

It's the congestion.

That causes jealousy and the unnatural
deaths that follow.

What kind of deaths aren't natural?

Oh.

War, for example, and murder, if you
want to include the petty thing.

Well, I never thought much about murder
being petty.

I mean that most motives for murder are
pretty slight, considering the penalty

for it.

Well, that is if the murderer is caught,
but they never expect to be.

And you think he'd give up the notion if
he knew he'd be caught?

Sure, unless he's a complete fool.

I knew of a man who intended to commit a
murder. Do I know him?

I doubt it.

But he didn't go through with it?

No.

A third person who was a friend of both
the intended murderer and his victim

intervened. How?

Well, being a practical fellow, this
third person invited the murderer to

the consequences.

against the small satisfaction of
killing his wife.

Why? Was she unfaithful? Yes, I believe
that was the motive.

I thought so.

It's very similar to a situation I knew
of.

The husband knew his wife was playing
around, and it hit him hard.

It's pretty funny in itself.

This fellow's kind of a... I guess you
could call him a slob.

But he happens to love his wife.

The two stories aren't quite the same.
Oh, I think they are, Al.

You see, this fellow set out to protect
his property.

Protect it, Al.

Not destroy it.

The way he did it was very simple.

He urged his wife to bring her friends
to the house.

He was pretty sure who she'd bring.

Well, he was right.

He saw them together in the garden.

But no, no, that's not... Let me finish.

This husband I'm talking about
specializes in accents.

Only he slipped up on his first attempt.

Seems this friend of his wife's was the
gallant type.

You know, getting her chair, lighting
her cigarettes, opening doors for her.

was a cinch.

All my friend had to do was wait for him
to leap ahead of Madame and open a

door.

Very big, nobly bowing and scraping.

A great big target.

But for some reason, Sir Galahad was
lagging.

His wife almost got it instead.

The second time around, he made no
mistakes.

He got his wife's lover to go camping
with him in a very lonely place.

They arranged for another accident to
take place.

Seems they boiled some coffee in a can.

Both men got arsenic poison.

But the husband had built up a tolerance
against arsenic.

And I understand he's going to get well.

But there's no hope for the lover.

But it isn't me.

It's Cam.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

I will admit Albert might be an
exception.

He didn't look at all well in that last
scene, but Pond lived on and on.

He's one of the happiest persons in the
state penitentiary. He works in the

prison nursery.

So much for the magical world of make
-believe.

Now for some grim realities, after which
I shall skip back.

I would like to add just one more
commercial before bidding adieu for

week.

Parents, are you looking for sand for
the kiddies to play in?

Why not buy the best?

Insist on quick.

Q -U -I -C -K.

Quick sand.

Good night.