Original subtitles

Good evening.

Here we are in orbit once again.

Most of tonight's program will be taken up with a story called Poison.

A rattlesnake.

It's a new warning device I've instituted to sound an alarm when a

at work. It comes in several sizes.

including very small ones for ladies' purses.

Very alert.

Far superior to ordinary burglar alarms.

For if the thief is foolhardy enough to put his hand in the pocket, there are a

few bugs in it. Once when a thief put his hand in my pocket, the snake became

confused and struck in the wrong direction.

The doctor had to put a tourniquet around my stomach.

Unfortunately, that proved to be the wrong stomach. It was a snake who died.

I see that it is now what my sponsor calls high time.

And here is what he thinks it is high time for.

been hitting the booze. Quickly, Timber, but you're up first.

Always show me the old and the drunk.

Don't touch the bed.

Please, don't touch the bed.

It's either that or a bad go of malaria.

It's a crite. A crite?

Yes. Where'd it bite you? How long ago?

They killed you in a few minutes.

Are you kidding?

Instead of seeing snakes, now you're feeling them.

Do you mean to tell me there's a crud lying on your stomach right now?

I swear it.

How'd they get there?

I was reading.

I was just lying there reading.

As a matter of fact, that's not a surprising thing for a tripe to do.

They hang around people's houses. They go for warm places.

And they, these little fellows, kill a surprising number of people each year.

Don't torture me.

Think of something.

What's that, Kitty?

I don't think of something.

Surprised at you.

Weren't you a Boy Scout?

If that little ripped -out dude get excited and bite you, I ought to make a

clash, and I'll try to suck the venom out.

First thing I think we should do is to try to get this sheet down as quiet as

can.

You know, let's just take a look at things.

I don't think it'll disturb him.

No.

The night would frighten him.

We ought to just pull it down quick and see if I can hit him off before he

strikes.

Why don't you get a doctor?

That's right.

Good old Dr. Gander, bye.

I'll do that.

Oh, no.

No, it's not good.

He's on his vacation.

Oh. Yeah, I'm sure of it.

Drove to Singapore tonight.

Not another medical in the whole district.

Leaving later.

Cold of the night.

Harry, it's past midnight.

You can try.

Yeah, all right. I'll try.

Oh, Harry, what's the doctor's number?

Oh, don't bother answering. I'll look up in the phone books around here

someplace.

Let's see.

Right district here.

Pahang. Pahang. E.

F. G.

Gander. Gander Bay.

Doctor.

Operator.

I'd like Pahang 713, please.

Hello, Dr. Gander Bay?

Oh.

Oh, I'm very sorry.

Had the wrong number.

Should have used my glasses, huh? Here we are.

And let's see here.

Let's see.

G.

That's the gambler.

A.

718. I told the operator 713, didn't I?

Well, yeah.

8 and 3 look a lot alike.

Shake a lamb's tail now. Chop, chop.

Operator? I got the wrong number.

Yes. I want the hang 718.

I said three.

Yeah, it's an emergency, yes.

Hello. Hello.

Dr. Ganderby?

Oh.

I see. We'll do that.

I think she's left, but the boy's gone to see.

Doctor!

Doctor!

Hardy, I'm feeling.

Oh, say that I have gone.

Yes, Doctor.

So sorry. Doctor, go.

No, wait.

I will come.

Oh, I think he must have left.

There's nobody.

Oh, no, wait a minute. Here he is.

Hello, Doctor.

This is Timber Woods.

Mr. Woods, you are not in bed yet?

Doctor, could you go over here quick and bring some serum for a crite bite?

Nobody's been bitten.

Harry Hope's lying in bed and he's got one lying on his stomach.

It's asleep under the sheet on his stomach.

He's not to move or to talk.

I'll be right over.

Like to have a cigarette? It'll calm your nerves.

Make me coffee.

Mind if I help you?

the doctor about not talking.

Oh, sorry about you, but I mean about me. Help pass the time.

Your nerves must be hopping.

Besides, if anything still should happen, there's a number of things that

should decide about, aren't there?

What things?

Julie, for one thing. What about her?

What about her?

What is there in a girl?

Is it the mother that's in every girl?

That sells her on taking on a sop like you.

I'm not going to drink anymore.

Oh, hogwash, Harry.

Once a lush, always a lush. It's happened too many times.

Oh, sooner or later, Julie, to find out about it.

I could have waited, but... Maybe now I don't have to wait.

Maybe she'll never find out about it.

I know what you're trying to do.

Push me into something rash.

Wake up, that's it.

Don't you want to think about the girl who came all the way out here from Paris

to see you?

Or was it the both of us then?

The love of heaven.

Harry, be calm.

You're not supposed to talk, remember?

I know very well what you'd say.

Try to blame me.

Say I made a boozer out of you so I could take over the business.

You're welcome to the business.

You know something, Harry?

You're right.

I did make a drunk out of you.

So? So what now?

And this little crite may yet turn into a... What's the expression?

A hand of God.

Oh, and a very amusing disguise, of course.

Here's the doctor.

Get some serum into him. Get you?

Over here.

Intravenously.

But when I do it neatly, I can't have him fix.

Quite.

I will soak the mattress under your body. It will be very cold.

You be ready for that.

And don't move.

You go over to the other side of the bed.

No, you must be careful. It may be anywhere could even be up the leg of his

pajamas He's been bitten

It's not there

You

Quite sure, of course, that you saw it in the first place.

You don't think you could possibly have been dreaming, do you? Are you telling

me I'm a liar?

Wouldn't be the first time he's had the DTs.

Listen, you two, I...

Sorry

to cause you so much bother, Doctor.

He's had a lot of trouble lately, all due to his drinking.

Lost a share of the business.

What your friend needs is a vacation.

Wasn't you? I saw it. I know I saw it. Sure, I know. I believe your story. You

saw snakes.

You saw pink elephants. It was here in this room. It was.

In the bed. It sleep on my stomach. You sniveling, drunken bum.

How old you is about this gambit? If you'd ever been a friend of mine... What

you need is a hair and a dog. We'll drink together.

Let's drink to friendship.

Oh, Harry, you silly.

Pitt.

Pitt.

He was here all along.

Harry.

Harry, are we going to die?

Harry, get the doctor.

Harry, get the doctor, please.

The doctor's gone, Timber.

Harry, please!

Harry!

Harry!

For failing to call a doctor when his

friend was bitten, Harry spent some little time in prison.

Apparently, the snake couldn't keep his mouth shut, which reminds me, I believe

it is time for another message. However, I shall be back.

If you are interested in obtaining one of my pickpocket alarms, good heavens,

I've been robbed.

Good night.