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Good evening, members of the Garden Club.
I have been asked to reveal some of my horticultural secrets.
First and foremost, I recommend plenty of sunshine.
I think it is shameful the way some plants are allowed to loaf all night
they could be growing.
Of course, the lamp has other uses. It also comes with a 5 foot 8 inch motor
-driven spit.
a basting brush, and a gallon of suntan lotion.
This evening's entertainment well suits this sunny and bucolic atmosphere.
It is called post -mortem. It begins quicker than you can say.
I could lie here all day.
I know. You'll stay there till there's no more hot water, then you'll get out
and catch cold.
This will warm up the room for you.
Oh, you're sweet, darling.
I can't help it, baby. You're so beautiful, you must be perishable.
We ought to think about getting another place.
With a heated bathroom.
Well, we ought to think about how we could pay the rent.
We wouldn't want to touch our savings, of course.
But on the other hand, if we had that money working for us... A nice little
investment. The dividends would make up for the difference.
Bank pays interest.
Three percent.
Well, it's that style.
Anyway, we've already lost $16 ,000 by investing.
We haven't lost it at all. Those stocks are a long -range proposition. They'll
pay off in time.
Now, what I was thinking about, darling, was something with a quick turnover.
The kind of investment I heard about this morning.
Now, don't say no until you know what it is.
I don't care, Stephen.
There's only $9 ,000 of Harry's policy left, and I want to hang on to it.
Now, you're just being stubborn.
I don't care.
That's all the money I've got in this whole world, and I'll never have any
Well, it's always my policy.
You'll collect on that someday.
Oh, Stephen, that's an awful thing to say.
You know how bad it made me feel to get Harry's money that way?
That's the only way you'd have ever gotten any.
And that horse player.
There's some medicine over the medicine cabinet you take it and spread it on
your hand and then I'll bandage it up for you It would never have happened if
we'd had a heated bathroom
Don't tell me you're the upstairs maid.
No, there's no such thing. Then you must be Mrs.
Harry Mead. Yes. No, I'm Mrs. Stephen Archer. I used to be Mrs. Mead. Who are
you? All of you. Mrs.
Archer, that used to be Mrs. Mead. We're reporters.
Can we come in? Thank you.
Thank you, Mrs. Archer.
My deepest sympathy on your bereavement.
Oh, did you know Harry?
Oh, my dear young thing, I never heard of him before an hour ago.
Well, how did you know he was dead?
Well, there's no other possible explanation.
Why don't you sit down and tell us what happened, huh?
Oh, about Harry.
Well, Harry died of a heart attack after an attack of indigestion.
How long ago?
Six months ago. Did you inherit the estate?
Harry didn't have any estate.
No other heirs? What was his profession?
Playing the horses, mostly.
Biggers.
Up here now.
How did he do?
What did you do before you married Harry?
I was on the stage.
It figures. Musical comedies, no doubt.
Why did you know that?
I was only in the chorus, so you could remember me.
How good a picker was he?
Horses, I mean.
Well, that's kind of hard to say, because he never had a winner.
That's my lead. Dead horse player finally picks a winner.
Well, somebody please tell me what you're talking about.
We've got good news for you, Mrs. Archer.
Your horse won the Irish sweepstakes. My horse? I don't bet the horses.
All right, then. Harry's horse. But you inherited the winning ticket.
Harry's? Why don't I? I went all through Harry's things. I didn't find any
tickets. Now, we just got the flash from London. The winning tickets on Ravenel
are held by three persons.
One in Boston, one in San Francisco, and a Mr. Harry Meade 1452 Iris Avenue.
The right name? Yes.
Right address? Yes.
I would have come across it.
He must have hidden it on you.
I'd look around real good, Mrs. Archer.
That ticket is worth $133 ,000.
$133 ,000?
What are you going to do with all that money, Mrs. Archer?
I don't know.
I didn't even know there was that much money in the whole world.
I can't even think straight.
What's the first thing you're going to buy?
Oh, no.
Yes, I do.
I'm going to buy a house. And I'm going to buy a house with a heated bathroom.
Did you find it?
No, I didn't find it. It's not here. I've gone through this junk three times.
What have you got there?
No, I found this out in the garage.
If it's not in here, it's not anywhere.
Let me do it. It's got to be here somewhere. He bought a ticket. We know
He couldn't sell it because it's not transferable.
And I know horse players. They never lose a ticket and they never throw one
away.
That's just a bunch of old letters.
They were mine.
Ones I wrote to Harry.
I didn't know he kept them.
Maybe it's in one of them.
No, it couldn't be. They were written long before we were married.
I was on the road company.
Maybe he hid it there anyway. I'll go through this punch.
No, you don't either.
They're personal, and I don't want strangers reading them.
A stranger?
I'm your husband.
Well, you weren't then.
Sorry,
it's just that I don't want you reading letters I wrote to another man, that's
all. I'm not interested in reading them. I want that ticket.
Judy, there's $133 ,000 involved.
That's a fortune.
We'd be rich, wouldn't we?
Yeah.
You open that one. I'll open this one.
I'm so sorry, honey. We could have done so much with that money. We've got to
find that ticket.
Thank you, Judy. Where would he hide it?
Honey, I just don't know where to look anymore.
All right.
All right, we'll start all over again.
We'll think like Harry.
Now, he buys a ticket on the Irish sweepstakes, and he doesn't want you to
about it.
He was always promising to stop gambling.
So he hides it somewhere, or he carries it around with him.
Well, it wasn't in his billfold.
Did you ever throw any of his things out or give them away?
Of course not.
Oh, I gave the suit to Goodwill.
That's it. That's where he kept it. It was in one of the pockets of that suit,
and you gave it away.
No, it wasn't in one of the pockets.
Now, if you know anything about women, you'll know that I went through that
right to the lining.
It wasn't in that suit. I'm positive of that.
Well, what happened to the rest of his clothes? That's the only place we
looked. It must be in one of his other suits.
He only had three.
You know, Harry, every single time that he saved enough money to buy a suit, he
met a bookie on the way to the door. What happened to the other two?
Well, that plaid one I started cutting up to make a skirt out of. The blue one?
He had a dark blue and I remember it. That was his best suit. And the tickets
it. That's the only place it could be.
Stephen, that doesn't help. We've got it. I know the tickets in one of the
pockets of that suit. Stephen, that doesn't help us at all.
Why doesn't it?
Because that was the suit that Harry was buried in.
Stephen?
I've been thinking it all over, and it's all very simple.
We're going to get that money.
You've got to present the ticket.
All right.
We'll get it.
What? We'll just have the coffin dug up.
No, we can't do that.
Why not?
We can get permission to have the body exhumed. It's done all the time.
It's not done all the time. It's hardly ever done.
I don't want that coffin dug up. Do you hear me?
Well, if we don't, how are we going to get the money?
Well, what good is the money if... if you have to do something like that?
I mean, it would give me nightmares, digging up a dead body.
I get them superstitious.
I'm sorry, baby, but you know I've always had a horror of death and dead
and things like that.
You know I've never been to the cemetery in my life.
Even when it was somebody I knew being buried, I couldn't bring myself to go.
We can't do it, Judy.
Not even for $133 ,000?
No, not even for a million.
It's funny.
You know that convention on Friday in Philadelphia?
I was going in to old Kirby and tell him to send another boy.
When he blew his top, I was going to light my cigar with a $10 bill and quit
the spot.
Well, I'll send you a postcard from Philadelphia.
Lady Red Cemetery?
Uh, may I speak to your superintendent, please?
Uh, this is Mrs. Stephen Archer.
I'd like to know how I'd go about getting my husband's body dug up.
No, no, no, not Archer.
His name was Meade.
Uh, oh, I see.
Uh -huh.
Well, would you be so kind as to send me one of those forms?
Uh... All right, thank you very much.
All right, Mrs. Archer.
It'll take just a few moments to check the file.
I have to be sure that these things are in order.
Now, if you'll just sign here, I'll tell the men to start digging.
You going to attend to the business yourself?
Well, I guess I'll have to.
That's not a very nice yard, Mrs. Archer. You should have had your husband
care of it. Well, you see, he would have, but he's in Philadelphia on
I'd be glad to volunteer my services, Mrs. Archer. Oh, are you one of the big
girls? In my own way, I suppose, yes.
This is Mr. Westcott. He's from... From the Daily Bulletin. Oh.
Are you a reporter?
That's right.
I've decided to do a human interest story on your winning the sweepstakes.
I'll tell the men to start digging.
Well, how did you know I was going to be here?
Oh, I was checking some facts for my story. I heard about the exhumation
Thought you might need some help.
Would you like me to handle it for you, Mrs. Archer? Very nice.
I believe I know what to look for.
You do?
What? It's pretty obvious the ticket was buried with your husband.
It can be rather a disagreeable job, Mrs. Archer.
Why don't you just sit down here and wait, hmm?
If the ticket's there, I'll get it and bring it to you.
Oh, thank you very much. You're very sweet.
It's just part of my job.
They're just opening the box now, Mrs. Archer.
Your friend and reporter will be along any moment.
Oh, Mrs. Archer, what did your husband buy out?
My husband? Oh, Harry.
Well, he had a case of indigestion. It brought about a heart attack.
Oh, I see.
Oh, here comes Mr. Westcott now.
Would you happen to have a little... I've had exhumations before. Help
Yes. Thank you.
I hate to bother you, but... Yes.
Did you find it? In the inside breast pocket.
Almost missed it.
Hurry up, Stephen.
I've got a surprise for you.
You'll never guess. Now close your eyes.
No surprises. I'm not up to it. I should have refused to go to that convention.
Well, I'm glad you didn't.
Ticket? You really found it?
$133 ,000 worth.
$133 ,000.
Oh, man.
Baby, you're wonderful.
The first thing I'm going to do is go right into the old man's office and tell
him off. Where was it?
Right where you sit, in the right -hand breast pocket.
Not in the coffin.
You didn't have it dug up. Of course I did.
Well, you fool. I told you not to do it.
Well, who was there?
Somebody must have helped you. Was there anybody snooping around?
Excited about what, darling?
It's all right.
I got a coat on in the cemetery. People did the rest.
I got the ticket, and they put the coffin back right where it was.
Didn't hurt anything.
Now we have all that money.
Yeah, we'll have enough dough to travel if we want to.
You sure there wasn't any trouble?
Nobody snooping around?
Darling, who's going to be snooping around in a cemetery at 10 o 'clock at
night?
Okay.
I'm sorry I got excited.
You were right all along.
Now we'll collect that money and start living.
But not like the last time.
What do you mean by that?
Well, no investments.
We'll buy a house and a car and things like that and the rest goes to the bank
at 3%. Well, aren't you the practical little manager?
Next thing you'll be buying yourself a new husband.
I'm serious.
I love you, Stephen, when it comes to money. You and Harry are just the same.
Betting horses, investments, you always lose.
Anything else? Oh, I see.
You'll dole it out a little at a time.
Darling, may I have five dollars for pocket money?
Stephen!
I don't think I'm going to like that.
Hello, Mr. Westcott. Good evening, Mrs. Archer.
Is your husband at home?
No, he's not, and I'm not sure when he'll be back.
Well, it was really you I wanted to talk to anyway.
May I? Oh, sure. Come right in. Thank you.
I need a little more information for my story, and I wondered if you mind if I
asked you a couple more questions. No, not at all. If you don't mind asking me
in the dining room, I'm just finishing dinner.
All right. Would you like some coffee?
No. No, thank you.
Here, you just sit right there.
Mrs. Archer.
I think it's only fair to tell you I lied to you the other night.
I'm not a newspaper reporter. I'm an insurance investigator.
And I was at the cemetery because I was curious about the way Harry Mead died.
Well, he died of a heart attack. I told you that.
Uh -huh.
Yes, just one month after my company had insured him for $25 ,000.
Of course, these things do happen from time to time. We expect them.
Even when the insurance salesman who wrote up the policy got married to you a
few months later, that didn't bother us too much either.
If I were a little younger myself, I... I guess
there's nothing much there either.
But then when Archer quit his job with the company, right after the wedding,
that did seem a little strange.
Well, why should it?
He didn't like selling insurance, and he had an offer of a better job.
But he was a very good insurance man, Mrs. Archer. He had a great future.
So just about then, I began to get curious, you know, a little uneasy.
So I went all through the Harry Mead file again, still couldn't find anything
wrong.
Well, what were you looking for?
Evidence that your first husband might have been murdered.
By Stephen Archer, of course.
Well, Mr.
Westcott, you can stop looking right now, because that isn't true.
Well, I don't know about that.
You see, we had an autopsy performed.
How dare you?
We were going to ask you about having the body exhumed, and then by fortunate
coincidence you went ahead and had it done on your own.
But I had good reasons.
It turns out we had good reasons too, Mrs. Archer.
Your husband didn't die of indigestion and a heart attack.
He was poisoned.
I don't believe you. I have the autopsy report right here to prove it.
I don't care, Mr. Westcott.
You're wrong. I know you're wrong.
Mrs. Archer.
Now, think back.
The night it happened, Archer was invited here for dinner, wasn't he? And
a proper guest, he brought along a bottle of liqueur, wasn't it?
The flavor would disguise the bitter taste of the poison.
Well, even so, how do you know that Stephen killed Harry? I could have done
Yes, I've considered that possibility, too.
But tell me this.
Why did you go to the cemetery for the exhumation and not Archer? It's not a
very pleasant job for a woman, certainly not if you had a guilty conscience.
Was Archer in favor of the grave being opened?
No.
Why are you telling me all this, Mr. Westcott? You know I'm going right
to Stephen and tell him. That could be quite dangerous, Mrs. Archer.
He killed Harry Meade for $25 ,000.
With that sweepstakes ticket, you'd be worth over $100 ,000.
Well, Mr. Westcott, you'll never make me believe that.
Stephen loves me, and he wouldn't think of doing anything to... Why, just the
other day, he saved my life.
Yes? What happened?
Well, I was taking a bath, and he bumped into the electric heater, and it almost
fell in the tub with me. Now, that could have killed me, couldn't it? Just like
the electric chair.
Yeah, that's right. Well, he grabbed it right at the last second, and he burned
his hand terribly.
So that proves you wrong.
Tell me, Mrs. Archer, did this happen before the winners were announced or
after? Well, it was a... I thought so.
Where is he now, Mrs. Archer?
I don't know.
We had a little quarrel over the money.
And he took the ticket with him.
Well, don't worry about that. He can't collect on it without your signature.
Unless... Unless I'm dead.
Judy?
Judy.
I'm sorry we quarreled. I had no right to take that attitude. It's your money.
It's ours. I just wanted to be careful of it.
I don't blame you.
Look, let's forget it, okay?
Why don't we go out for dinner and a couple of drinks?
We should be celebrating.
All righty.
20 minutes.
You should have the heater on.
You'll catch cold.
Let me warm up the room for you before you get out.
Be careful, Steve.
Oh, I will.
If it hadn't been for that accident, I might not have thought of this.
The
Dodger.
My wife had an accident. Call for an ambulance. Wait a minute. What happened?
Well, I just found her in the bathtub. The heater seems to have fallen into the
water. I think she's electrocuted herself.
Well, you're under arrest for murder.
What? Who are you?
Insurance investigator.
Sergeant.
Are you crazy? I didn't kill her. I just got in from Philadelphia.
Take him downtown.
Look, if someone would only call for an ambulance for my wife, maybe it isn't
too late. Get him out of here.
Stephen Archer.
Well, thank heavens you're all right, Judy.
These fools are trying to say I murdered you.
Well, you tried to.
Don't be silly. Get these things off.
You threw that electric heat into the tub and tried to electrocute me.
It was an accident.
Slipped out of my hand.
If Mr. Westcott hadn't pulled the fuse before he left, I'd be dead.
How are you going to prove anything?
It's my word against hers.
I will never hold up.
I got an autopsy report on Harry Meade today.
Mrs. Archer, would you like me to get a doctor for you?
You've had a bad shock, you know.
Maybe you better call someone to come stay with you for a while.
No, I'm all right.
What's going to happen to Stephen?
Well, with one murder and one attempted murder, I don't think there's much
question.
You mean he'll be... Punishment fits the crime.
He tried to electrocute you.
Oh, no.
Wait.
Five minutes ago, he tried to kill her.
Thank goodness I remembered.
I don't want to go through that again.
You can see how effective the lamp is.
It looks as though I should turn off the lamp.
I shall do so following the following.
I'd better be off in case the lamp does something to me.
I'll be back next week with another story.
Until then, good night.
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