Original subtitles

Good evening. I just happened upon this abandoned breakfast table. It was set

for two persons and is complete down to the morning paper which was lying on the

floor with, incidentally, a bullet hole through it.

It looks as though someone's husband missed the 8 .20 this morning. In fact,

may have missed it for good.

for the bullet seems to have struck him between the society section and the want

ads. While you are watching tonight's show, Guest for Breakfast, I think I

help myself to some toast.

First, however, let us pause for the unseemly sight of a man

toasting himself.

Your breakfast is ready.

Yes, I know.

I heard the charming ticking of all the little push buttons.

You know, my dear, you don't prepare a breakfast. You launch it like a guided

missile.

Interesting comparison.

I wonder where I could get a warhead.

Oh, no. I've already taken the precaution of leaving a letter to be

the police.

Quite unnecessary.

I'd insist on taking the credit for it. Out of common decency, I shall refrain

from commenting on the coffee.

If you had an ounce of decency, you'd have replaced me a year ago.

Oh, with a robot.

Yes, it could perform all your functions.

If that's a subtle way of throwing Sylvia Lester in my teeth, I'm already

aware of her function in your life. Yes, well, someone had to fill it. I abhor a

vacuum.

A perfect description of Sylvia.

Oh, now you're leading from weakness, my dear.

Sylvia's a success, both as a writer and a woman.

But not in that order.

Otherwise, you would never have published your books.

Well, you're rather a classic figure yourself.

A sort of galatea in reverse.

When I fell in love with you, you were a lovely woman.

Then you turned into an ivory statue.

Oh, stop flexing your brain cells, Jordan. It no longer impresses me. Give

that. Well, this is the way a marriage should end.

Not with a laugh, but a sneer.

I don't mind telling you that famous dry witch you're so proud of gets soggier

every year.

Oh, that's probably the neighbors complaining about the noise.

Your noise?

Yes?

Oh, if you're a salesman, I'm sorry.

Just a minute.

Close the door.

I'll do nothing. Close the door, I said!

Is there anybody else here?

This is so happens my husband is. If you don't... Who else?

No one. Any kids?

No, no kids.

You got a maid?

We do for ourselves in the country.

You sure?

Why should I lie about it? Lady, I've been on the run all night.

It's gotten down to whether I either get caught or I don't. It's a pretty thin

difference. Either way, I haven't got much to lose. You have, so you better

remember that.

Now, where's your husband?

He's in the kitchen.

Well, show me.

This is a highly interesting development.

And after all those stones you were throwing at me.

Tell me, are you ahead of schedule?

Or is my watch slow?

Jordan, please.

You must forgive my wife.

She always forgets her manners in a time of crisis.

I'm the husband, Mr... What is this? What are you... Perhaps you'd like a cup

coffee.

At your peril, of course.

Jordan, for heaven's sakes.

But you probably have already learned that Dear Eve's coffee is not exactly

nectar. Okay, stop talking.

Well, I remember you said something about wanting a warhead, but I rather

expected poison.

Don't be a fool. I never saw him before.

I'll have some of that coffee. Come on, move.

Look here.

I already told your wife how it is.

Cops are after me.

Killed two people yesterday.

Only the first one counts.

You can figure that out, can't you?

Coffee, I said!

Yes, I think I grasped the general meaning.

Well, you hang on to it, then.

I suppose in return for sparing our lives, you want money.

Money? It might have done me some good once.

Fix me something to eat.

I... Mr. Where I am now, money can't buy me a thing.

You got a car?

Yes, I'll get you the key. Hold on there a minute.

We're not going anyplace. I'm staying here till dark.

Get back.

Well, in that case...

Perhaps I'll see you before you leave. You thinking of going someplace?

Oh, well, you needn't worry. I don't use a car. I take a train into town. Not

today. Oh, yes.

Particularly today.

You see, I have a very important appointment.

And if I don't show up, somebody's going to wonder what happened to me.

Someone might come here to investigate.

Where do you work?

Hobart and Paisley Company. We publish books.

Yeah?

Well, name some of them.

Well, I hardly think that would verify my claim. You see, we don't have a line

of comic books.

You think that was funny, mister?

You want them to be your last words?

If you can think up something funnier, I'll give you just one minute.

You're quite right.

I wouldn't want that as an epitaph.

It was in bad taste.

I apologize for it.

and we will go in the other room and sit down.

Come on.

makes a sudden move.

My hand's shaking.

I'd start shooting without knowing it.

Now, what about this meeting of yours?

Well, it's scheduled for 9 .30.

It's not going to start without me.

They'll wait an hour and then they'll start checking.

Okay. You can go to your meeting.

Only she stays here.

No. Wait a minute, Jordan.

Now, Any cops show up, you've got yourself a dead wife.

When you come back, you come back alone.

Jordan, you wouldn't.

You're not coming back.

You're the hostage, my pet.

What can I do about it? This gentleman's calling the shots. He'll come back if

he wants to see you alive.

No, he won't.

He wants to get rid of me.

Why? Because he hates me.

He's been trying to get rid of me for a year, and this is his chance to get you

to kill me.

Wait a minute, Jordan.

She's hysterical.

I don't know whether she is or not. Maybe she's telling the truth.

No, she isn't. She doesn't know what she's talking about.

Tell him about Sylvia Lester.

Who's that?

Well, she's an author. We publish her books.

She's jealous of every woman I look at.

Jealous. Oh, that's really good.

After this, any time you want to go to her, I'll pay your way.

And you'll be able to afford it.

After you've squeezed me of every dime for alimony. Sit down, lady.

You get in there and make a telephone call. Tell him you're not coming to the

office today. You're sick.

And, mister, you're real sick. You may not live through the rest of the day.

Where's the phone?

It's in the hall.

This is Mr. Ross.

Would you tell Mr. Paisley that I won't be in today?

I'm ill.

No, no, I don't know what it is.

Yes, thank you, I will. Look, would you give my apologies to Miss Lester and

tell her that I'll call her tomorrow?

Thank you, Mary.

Miss Lester?

It's the woman, huh?

Well, is it important?

Yeah, it may be important, mister. It may be real important.

You want to know why?

Not particularly.

Those two people I killed.

One of them was my wife.

And it was the guy she was playing around with.

He broke us up.

Her fault, too. But it wouldn't happen except for him.

So I took this gun and I killed him.

Catch me, you know.

They'll ask me if I'm sorry for what I done.

I... For her, yeah, I wish I hadn't killed her.

But him... I figured he had it coming to him.

Because that's the kind that deserves killing. You see how it can be

mister? Because you're the same kind.

And I don't like you anyway.

You know a lot of fancy words, Jordan.

Whenever you say them, they come out dirty.

Well, I apologize.

Make me like you any better?

Now get back in here.

Get back in here!

Are we just going to sit here all day?

Maybe.

Maybe we won't have to wait till it's dark.

If I took one of you with me, I might get through them roadblocks.

He was so anxious to get out. Take him.

Well, I might do that.

But I'd have to shoot you so that you wouldn't call the cops.

No, I wouldn't.

I don't care what happens to him. That's just the problem. You don't care what

happens to him, and he doesn't care about you.

You call the cops so that he gets shot, and he'd do the same thing.

Well, thanks for volunteering for me.

I'll go with you.

No.

I mean, well, look at it this way.

You said there'd be roadblocks.

If you had a woman in the car, they'd be sure to let you through.

Maybe. They might think I was your wife.

That'd even stop us.

That's much better, isn't it? Give me a drink.

You sure?

Now, look here.

Before my wife, my loving wife, sells you a bill of goods, you ought to

something.

What's that?

Well, there won't be just one roadblock.

There'll be a whole lot of them.

And you'll have to drive night and day to get out of reach.

Well, you won't be able to do that.

You're almost out on your feet right now.

Somebody else is going to have to drive part of the way.

I figured on that.

Yeah.

Well, my wife doesn't drive a car.

Is that right, Mrs. Ross?

Don't listen to him. He's just trying to confuse you.

The police would stop a car with two men in it, but they wouldn't risk killing a

woman. Now, why don't you turn on the tears?

That worked with me for years.

He never even knew why I was crying.

You didn't need a reason. You could turn it on like a lawn sprinkler.

Is that the best you can do?

This is the moment for a brilliant epigram.

It's hardly up to the raw standard, is it?

You must be a very frightened little man.

Well, you're not any Joan of Arc yourself. Both of you, shut up.

Makes me sick to my stomach just to listen to you.

Getaway, you know better than he is.

Ain't gonna bother me none which one of you I have to kill.

Makes it easier for me.

I'm glad.

But that's not the point.

You've got to think of which is best for you.

They won't shoot at a woman. The moment you go to sleep, you're finished. I'll

relieve you.

I'll take a chance.

I'm staying awake.

Where's your coat?

In the whole closet. I'll get it.

Your name is Lacey, isn't it?

Yeah, I read about you in last night's paper.

Those killings.

They were unpremeditated, weren't they? They're both dead.

Not enough difference to do me any good.

Yeah, well, that's not what I meant.

I mean, you didn't have time to make any plans, did you?

I'm making them now.

I'm going to shoot you.

Yes, well, you brought plenty of money along, didn't you?

Oh, yeah, it's still necessary even for a man in your predicament.

I mean, for instance, my gas tank is almost empty and you'll need to eat

occasionally. You've thought of all that, of course.

No, I haven't got any money.

Yes, well, I don't have enough to get to the main highway, but there are several

places where I can cash checks.

Let's go. I've got the car keys.

How much?

Well, whatever you need.

Five hundred dollars.

Oh, incidentally, it's not a joint account.

Make out a check right now.

No. Why should I?

What have I got to lose by refusing?

The only way you're going to get that money is by taking me instead of her.

If you need money... He does, and you haven't got enough.

I can outbid you. How much you got, Mrs. Ross? I don't know.

She hasn't got over $10 the most.

That's not enough, Mrs. Ross.

He can write a check for $500.

A box?

He doesn't have to write a check.

He keeps that much cash in a box upstairs in his bedroom.

Let's go upstairs, mister. Oh, no, no. You see, the box is empty. I took all

money out yesterday. Show me.

Get up those stairs.

If there's no money in that box, you're staying behind. Now, follow me.

There's less than $50 in that box.

She says there's more. No, no, no. She just said that to get you up here. She's

out the back door by now.

I'm right here.

You better not do that.

Neighbors will hear the shots and call the police.

Is there a phone in that room?

No.

Okay, come on. We're getting out of here.

Wait. We can't. The minute we go, he'll phone the police. We wouldn't even reach

the highway.

They won't shoot at us, not with a woman in the car.

He might tell them I'm running away with you or something. You know he wants to

get rid of me.

You got a key to that door?

No, there's a slide boat.

We'll have to break it down.

There's no money in there. You tricked me.

You thought... You thought I wouldn't kill you because you're a...

You had me believing you didn't care for a while, but she tricked me so you

could get away.

She knew there wasn't any money in there.

How very clever of you, my dear.

Now let's see you get yourself away.

But the shaky hand rather spoils the effect, don't you think?

I never made any pretensions to be a man of action.

I've always been able to rise to an occasion.

Phew!

Why didn't you tell the police that I pushed his arm and saved your pompous

hide? Well, I believe I did mention it in passing.

Why?

What? Why did you push his arm?

I didn't stop to think.

Why did you come storming out of the bedroom like a dime novel hero?

Well, I don't know.

Even the most civilized man, I suppose, has some hidden primitive emotions.

Oh, that's really funny.

Man and his mate?

Me, Tarzan, you, Jane, huh?

I fail to see the necessity for analyzing my actions.

You really should, Pet.

That explanation will have Sylvia Lester absolutely ecstatic.

Yes, well, the truth of the matter is... I

really don't know why I did it.

It's possible that I wouldn't have done it for anyone else.

You mean a stranger?

No, no, no. You can include Sylvia if you like.

But I still am not sure what my reactions would have been.

Of course, it may be because...

I am legally your husband.

What have conventions to do with primitive emotions?

I refuse to indulge in any kind of sloppy sentimentality.

I couldn't agree more.

I haven't seen you cry in over a year.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to be a lawn sprinkler.

I never really minded.

May I have a cigarette, please? Of course.

Thanks.

Why did you put his arm?

You, Jordan.

Me, Eve.

As you have already guessed, tonight's show illustrated man's inhumanity to

His indestructibility in the face of obstacles.

The senselessness of war.

the need for a dream, the value of spiritual action to combat the lust for

profit, and, finally, the corrosion of life, the depletion of energy, and the

frustration of love, which result from following a philosophy of romantic

opportunism in an idealistic society.

Naturally, we don't believe any of that, but we felt that the author deserved to

be heard.

Did you ever, um...

Did you ever have the feeling you were being followed?

That something vaguely ominous was following you?

I do. On this program, let's have a look at him, after which

I shall slink back.

You know, there are times when I find myself wishing my television tube would

blow out.

I'm sure you have the same feeling.

But if you thought that was bad, you should have tasted this toast burnt to a

crisp. However, it indicates to me that it was the wife and not the husband who

was the victim of this little faux pas de deux.

And justifiably, too, she was no cook. She was an arsonist.

Next week, we shall be back with another story.

Until then, good night.