Original subtitles

Good evening and welcome to Tea Time.

I'm taking up golf.

I've learned to play by watching a demonstration on television.

I'm convinced that it's very easy to make a hole in one.

At least this one.

In the demonstration, the golfer knocked a ball off his friend's head.

I'm not using a ball.

Being a beginner, I feel I'm entitled to a larger target.

Perhaps you'd better look the other way. I know I shall.

Coming into the back nine, he had me by three strokes.

And boy, was he crowing.

You know how Mr. Sloan is. He just loves to rub it in.

How'd you finish?

I was one up.

He was mad enough to jump into the water hazard.

I don't know how you do it, Eldon.

The old man gets at least 280 yards on his drive.

Yeah, well, he's strong enough, but I've got the old equalizer.

His strength doesn't do him any good on the green at all.

He three -putted the last five holes.

Well, I'm going up and collect my drink.

See you later, Ellen.

Charlie, put my clubs in the rack.

Well, next Saturday I take on our new salesman. He tells me he shoots in the

high 80s. You'll beat Phillips, Mr. Slob.

Oh, I don't know.

You know, I haven't broken 90 in years.

And he's a big, strong fellow.

Say,

what makes you think I'll beat him?

He's a salesman, isn't he?

You never play a customer's game, do you, Elvin?

No, I suppose not.

Well, he certainly makes a wonderful impression.

You know, I think I picked the right man.

Oh, that was really fun. It really was.

Oh, thank you.

The both of you.

And let's do it again sometime.

Real soon.

Oh, your wife is a very good dancer. Yes, I know.

Well, Carl, how about some bread? Anytime you like, Mr. Sloan. You ready,

Whatever you say.

Well, how about making a fourth, Wayne?

What? Boy, you play bridge, don't you?

Oh, sure. But this is my first night, Harvey.

Let me enjoy myself.

All right. Have your fun while you're young. But that bridge table's going to

get you someday.

Always. Ed, come on. You play with us. Come on, fellas.

Sorry, honey. I'll be back as quickly as I can. Ed, don't you worry. I'll look

after her.

Mrs. Sobel, this is my dad.

It sure is.

How'd you like him?

Who?

Wayne Phillips.

He's all right, I guess.

A typical salesman.

Is that all?

You know I never form any impressions of people the first time I meet them.

You had a long conversation with him.

Did I?

Were you timing it?

No, of course not.

You're just being fascinated by him.

Eldon.

I'm really very tired. Very, very, very tired.

You were, weren't you?

You're the one who must have been fascinated by him.

You keep talking about him.

I just wanted your opinion of him, that's all.

I don't think I liked him. In fact, the whole thing rather disgusted me.

Everyone's fawning all over him.

Even Mr. Sloan.

After all, he's just another hot... shot salesman you stole from another

company?

If a stranger had walked in, he would have thought that Wayne Phillips owned K

Corporation.

He has the way about him.

Yes.

He certainly has.

I'm glad you don't like him.

If you had, I certainly would have been worried.

Well...

You needn't worry.

Good night, dear.

Good night.

Morning, Elvin.

Good morning.

Say, Elvin, you know those Saturday night things at the country club? Boy,

are a great idea. It's just like one big happy family.

That's right.

What can I do for you?

Oh, I just dropped in for a chat. You know, I always like to get to know the

people I'm working with.

How's Louise?

She's fine. Oh, she's a lovely girl, Eldon. All the wives are. And pretty,

Hey, you know what? Sobel's wife, she ought to be in the movies.

What's her first name?

Jean. I'm surprised you didn't learn that Saturday night. Oh, I don't work

fast.

You certainly didn't waste any time learning my wife's first name.

Why, Eldon?

I wouldn't have thought you were the jealous type. I didn't think accountants

got emotional about anything.

I didn't say I was jealous. Well, you're acting like it.

What's the matter? Don't you trust your wife?

I trust her implicitly. Well, then it must be me you don't trust. We can't

that held and think what it'll do to Harvey's big, happy family.

Don't you really trust your wife?

Let's get one thing straight, Phillips.

Yes, I do trust my wife with you because I trust her.

As for you personally, I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

That wouldn't be very far, would it, little man? I know your type, Phillips.

I'm warning you right now.

You're warning me.

You heard me. Just don't try to prove your irresistibility with my wife.

Alan, I don't know whether that's a warning or a dare.

You got yourself a pair of shoes, huh? Yeah.

I thought the others were going to fall apart.

Hi, Mr.

Sloan.

Say, have you fellas seen Wayne Phillips anywhere?

No. He was supposed to meet me on the first tee at one o 'clock.

And it's after two now.

He certainly wouldn't stand you up. You don't suppose he had an accident?

Oh, no.

No, something probably came up.

He had a lot of important deals cooking.

Well, I'll give him a few more minutes.

It may not be an important deal, but I'll bet it's interesting.

He doesn't care whose time he does it on, either.

Yeah. I wonder whose time he's really beating.

I think he'd have better sense.

The old man thinks he's the blue -eyed wonder.

But just let Phillips get into a messy situation and see how long he lasts.

You can't expect the man to be a hermit.

Romancing a dame is one thing, but playing around with somebody else's wife

something else.

Who is she?

That's what I've been wondering.

Well, I'm not going to wait any longer.

Hey, what's the matter with you, Eldon?

I don't feel well.

You look like you're going to be sick.

You want a doctor?

No.

I'll be all right.

Carl, why don't you...

play with Mr. Sloan, I'd... Sure.

Supposed to be all right? Sure. Something he ate.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry I'm late, but I just couldn't get organized today.

Are you starved?

No, I'm not hungry.

Oh, good. I'll have time for a martini.

Dave, very, very, very dry this time, okay? Thank you.

Well, how was the game? I didn't play.

Oh?

Why didn't you?

Well, I felt sick about it.

About two o 'clock, I almost came home.

Well, you should have.

I could have done something for you.

I thought you might be out at the market or someplace.

Eldon, you know very well I never market on Saturdays.

I was home all day.

Oh, thank you, Dave.

Eldon. We're vulnerable, partner. They've got a part score of 60. We'll

leg off.

One neutral.

Watch you don't cut your own throat.

Two clubs.

Two hearts.

Pass.

Four hearts.

Four hearts it is.

Good luck, partner.

I'll need it.

Well, down to invulnerable.

That cost us 500.

Pretty expensive game. Yes, it was.

How'd you do, partner?

Down two.

What was the idea of bidding four hearts?

You had a lay down and three no trump.

Oh, I'm sorry. We'll make it up next time.

Whose deal? Mine.

Well, Eldon, feeling better?

Aye.

Eldon.

Eldon, what the devil do you think you're doing?

I want to fight this man.

You're drunk.

I'm drunk enough.

Here, somebody take him to the washroom and sober him up. This man has to fight

me. Don't be ridiculous.

What do you want to fight Wayne for?

He knows.

Ask him where he went when he was the dummy.

Ask him where he was this afternoon when he was supposed to be playing golf with

you.

Well, now, don't you think that's his own business?

Not when it involves my wife.

Boy, that's nonsense.

You go on and be a good boy before I get mad.

Come on, get mad. Go ahead, fight me.

No.

No, no, I'm not going to fight you, Eldon. I'm too big for you. You're

You're imagining things.

Of course you are.

Now go on home and sleep it off. You shut up and stay out of this.

Come on, Phillips, fight me. You're making us all look very foolish. Do like

Harvey says before something happens to you.

You're scared.

That's right, little man.

I'm scared.

Scared if I hit you, I'll kill you.

Well, that's the way it's going to have to be.

You have to kill me or else I'll kill you.

You fool.

You complete fool.

I suppose Phillips brought you home.

I can't see that it makes any difference now since you've announced it to the

whole world.

You might have had a little understanding.

He stole my wife. These things happen all the time.

But some men have sense enough not to make a fool of themselves.

It's degrading.

You said you didn't like him.

I suppose you're going to him now.

No.

No, I'm not.

You very nicely ruined that for me. It's what you intended to do, isn't it?

You created such a scandal we couldn't possibly go on.

But if I can't have Wayne, it doesn't mean I'm going to stay with you.

I am leaving you, Eldon.

I'll be out of here in a few minutes, Mr. Sloan. I'm just cleaning out a few

things.

Eldon, I don't understand you.

You put me in a position where I had to fire you.

Now, if you'd just kept quiet about it, the whole thing would have blown over.

Wayne Phillips isn't in love with your wife.

I know that.

If he was in love with her, I wouldn't have done it.

But he just made her cheap.

That's why I'm going to fight him.

Now, use your head, Eldon.

You can't fight a big man like Wayne.

He's too strong for you.

You found that out Saturday night.

He's got to fight me.

Why don't we all be sensible about this thing?

Now, look.

You've been assistant treasurer here for a good many years.

And a good one.

Wayne is... Well, he's just a salesman, and the woods are full of them.

Now, you put that stuff back in your desk, and we'll forget all about Wayne

Phillips. Okay?

No, Mr. Sloan.

I appreciate it.

I can't do it.

This is something between him and me, and we've got to settle it.

Marsh, you must be out of your mind.

Yeah, I know how this sounds, Gene, but it's the truth.

Yes, you ought to be in pictures.

You really think so? I certainly do. If I were a producer, I...

What are you doing here?

You're not a member anymore.

I'm your guest.

Well, all right, you're my guest. Go ahead, have a drink. Dave, will you fix

up with a drink? Don't buy me a drink, Phillips. I'd only throw it in your face

again. What do you want?

I want a fight.

A fight?

You had that. I knocked you cold. Wasn't that enough? No, it wasn't.

I told you the way it's got to be.

You've got to kill me or I'll kill you.

You're crazy.

This man's crazy.

Maybe I am.

Louise has left me. Did you know that, Phillips?

Well, Eldon, I'm sorry, but you can see that I haven't got her. You didn't even

have that decency enough to take her after she left me. I love you, Phillips.

had a happy life together. Now she's gone, I don't know where. Look, Eldon,

sorry. That's not enough.

You can't do a thing like this and just pass it off by saying that you're sorry.

You've got to fight me. Oh, this is silly.

I'm not going to fight you again. I'm twice your size.

It wouldn't be fair.

That's right.

It wouldn't, would it? All right, then let's forget it.

I'll apologize for hitting you the first time.

There are other ways of fighting than with your fists.

What do you mean?

Well, since you're so much bigger than me, let's equalize it.

You can choose the weapon.

Weapon?

You mean to fight a duel?

That would be fair, wouldn't it?

We would both have the same weapon.

That's the craziest thing I've ever heard of. People don't fight duels

can. It's illegal.

So is what you did to Louise and me.

You broke up our home.

Now you've got to take the consequences. Lord, Alan, stay away from me. Listen,

listen. You get out of here.

And get him out of here before I kill him.

So we're all even at the end of 16.

Me and I get a tremendous T -shirt.

Wayne here goes out of bounds.

You wait in the next suite, Harvey. I'll show you. All right, I'll wait.

You know, if you... Just a minute.

It's for you, Wayne.

Oh.

Well, leave for the shop. Yeah, thank you.

Well,

what do you want?

I've got nothing to discuss with you.

I want to know when you're going to fight with me.

Will you stop bothering me?

No, Mr. Phillips. I'm going to keep right on bothering you until this is

settled.

You're with friends, aren't you?

I don't think you want me to come over there. No, I don't. It won't do you any

good to come. You're barred. You won't get inside the door. So don't waste my

time or yours.

What are you doing here?

I came here to discuss our duel. Yeah, well, I've had enough of you. Go inside.

I'll follow you. You'll only be thrown out again. That's all right. Every time

you get somebody else to do your fighting, you get smaller and smaller.

the time I'm through with you, everybody in this town is going to know what a

coward you are.

Every time you come near me, I'm going to flatten you.

And that'll only show what a bully you are.

Now, wait a minute.

Well, you're not going to try to blackmail me.

I'm doing a pretty good job of it. You must like getting your face smashed in.

I haven't felt anything since Louise left me.

You see, Phillips, you don't want to die.

That's why you're afraid of me.

But I don't care.

So I have nothing to be afraid of.

That's the equalizer.

All right, what do you want from me?

A fight.

A fair fight.

You choose the weapon.

If that's the only way I can get rid of you, I've got no choice.

You got a gun? I can get one.

Well, you get it. I'll meet you in two hours.

Where? The roof of the K Corporation building.

I'll be waiting for you. All right.

If you don't come, I'll keep after you. Don't you worry. I'll be there.

Back to back.

Ten paces.

Turn and fire.

Hey, look.

Why do you insist on being killed?

What makes you think I will be?

It's an even fight now.

It doesn't matter that you're twice as big or twice as strong as I am.

The guns cut you down to my size.

We'll be on equal terms.

Two hours, Phillips.

Right, right over there.

Okay, let's have it. What happened here?

Oh, his name was Marsh. He was a treasurer of the company that I worked

He lost his job and he blamed me for it.

Oh, no real reason.

I'm a salesman.

I couldn't have handled his job if it had been offered to me.

What was he doing up here?

Up here? Oh, I don't know what he was doing up here.

You see, he telephoned me and said he wanted to talk about something. He

insisted that I meet him up here.

He said if I didn't come, that he'd come to the country club and make a scene.

Well, the minute I stepped out here on the roof, he came at me with a gun.

Eddie, come over here a minute.

Good thing I was armed. I have been ever since he started threatening me. So you

let him have it.

Well, yes, what else could I do? It was either him or me. I shot just a second

before he could.

Don't hand me that, mister.

I don't know what happened up here, but this little guy wasn't going to shoot.

He doesn't even have a gun.

Look for yourself.

much for the high price of low fidelity.

I'm quite angry with my friend.

He ruined my club, and he didn't land anywhere near the hole.

As a matter of fact, I can't even find him.

Now I'll have to buy a ball.

It's quite distressing.

Why don't you join me in the locker room after we pass one of those sand traps

that dot the fairways of television?

I thought we'd never get out of that one.

However, we seem to have completed the course in 30 minutes, which is par.

Why don't you join us next week for another round?

In the clubhouse, of course.

Good night.