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good evening I always sew on my own
buttons it's out of
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sentiment you see an ancestor of mine
was the inventor of the buttonhole it
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happened during a duel although his
opponent never knew it was a duel
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unfortunately this resulted in the false
notion that the buttonhole should be in
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00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,320
the back of the coat
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Actually, the invention of the
buttonhole brought a great sigh of
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the whole world.
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You see, the button had been invented
long before, and for over a hundred
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00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,350
the world hadn't known what to do with
it.
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And boy, we've been pals since knee
-high.
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Not high to a grasshopper, but knee
-high.
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Tommy!
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You're a real pal.
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Boy, you sure have a glow on.
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I haven't glowed in years, but I'm going
to keep on glowing.
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The whole point of life is to glow.
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I'm, uh...
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Another dead soldier. I shall go across
the hall of my room to get
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00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:07,550
reinforcements. Oh, forget it.
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00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:15,270
Sandra. Sandra, come on down here with
us, you beautiful creature. We're all
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00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:16,430
going to glow.
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00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:18,650
Is this it?
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Is this what you were talking about?
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Richard said you'd explain it to us.
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00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:29,970
Tommy, Tommy, rise and shine, my boy.
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Go on and impress her.
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00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:40,270
Asking me to explain my chart is like
offering a politician a microphone.
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00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:46,230
Now, as Richard probably told you,
murder is my hobby.
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00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:48,710
Oh, other people's murders, of course.
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00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:55,150
Now, all the murders that you read about
get charted.
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Right here.
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00:02:57,140 --> 00:03:03,780
Now, when a murder breaks, I extend this
top line one unit.
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00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:09,140
So, this line then indicates the number
of murders that have been committed
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00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:10,680
since the beginning of the year.
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00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,100
And the second line?
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This stands for solved murders, and this
one, unsolved.
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00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,480
I follow every case right to the bitter
end.
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00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:30,820
And if the police fail to solve it, it
becomes a unit on the third line.
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00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:36,240
Now, here are murders where the motive
was known.
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00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:42,100
And this is the important one. It
indicates the number of murders where
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motive was not found.
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In other words, motiveless killing.
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00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:53,160
Now, you notice how nearly parallel
motiveless killings runs with the un...
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solve murders.
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00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,620
And it's from this.
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No, no, now, Tommy, you're not giving it
to her big. This is important.
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00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:09,480
You've got to do this justice, Tommy.
This is no trifling matter.
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00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,220
You've got to give it real significance.
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00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,260
Sandra, this little old chart tells a
secret.
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00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:22,540
This chart is going to prove
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00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:28,520
that a motiveless killing is a hundred
to one shot.
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Isn't that right, Tommy?
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00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:35,820
Well, what did you do that for?
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00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:38,880
You know my theory, Tom. What are you
laughing at it for?
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00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,120
I laugh.
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00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:41,220
Did I laugh?
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00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,400
It's ten to seven. I've got to go.
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00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:49,640
I hate to rush off like this. Oh, that's
perfectly all right, darling. I
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00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,880
wouldn't have missed your chart for the
world, Mr. Greer.
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00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:54,020
Thanks.
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00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:02,940
You started me off on this hobby. What
are you making fun of it for? Now, now,
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00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:07,780
Tommy, I didn't start you on this hobby.
I just wanted you to start on any
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00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:10,760
hobby. Look, you know as well as I do,
it's motive.
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00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:12,380
Motive that counts.
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00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,080
Because given the motive, the police
will run you to the ground any time.
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00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,540
All right, you said it.
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00:05:19,790 --> 00:05:25,030
What do you mean, I said it? It's a
scientific fact, and my chart proves it.
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00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:32,010
Well, look, if a murder just happens
because a crackpot goes on a killing
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00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:37,910
spree or a stick -up artist holding up a
stranger pulls the trigger, if they get
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00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:41,950
away unseen, what can the police do
without clues?
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00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:43,550
Good clues.
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00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,100
But given a motive, they can put a
killer in the chair. Motive. That's the
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00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,100
that counts.
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00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:57,020
Perfect murder is a cinch if you have no
reason for committing it. What do you
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00:05:57,020 --> 00:06:03,600
make fun of it for? Because you're out
of focus, my boy. Your whole theory is
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00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,420
out of focus. You've gone overboard,
Tommy.
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00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,080
Like you always do. You've become hipped
on it.
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00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:11,840
Court!
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00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,360
Because I wanted you to start on a
hobby.
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00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,620
Start on a hobby, Tommy, I said.
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00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,460
Start on a hobby, Tommy, I said.
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00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,700
Get Marion out of your hair.
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00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:29,400
You leave Marion out of this.
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00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:33,560
You went overboard, Tommy, like always.
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00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:40,580
Like that time you airmailed two orchids
to Marion. Two, mind you, every day.
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00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,120
Until she had a... I beg you to stop.
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00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,380
I said leave Marion out of this.
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00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:48,080
But that's you, Tommy.
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00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,440
You went overboard when you courted her.
You went overboard when you married
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00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:57,280
her. And you went overboard when she
left you. Are you going to leave her out
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00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,280
this?
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00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,000
Of course, Tommy.
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00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:07,240
Of course I'm going to leave her out of
it. Naturally, I can't leave her out of
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00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,240
it, Tommy.
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00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,560
But can you?
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00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,740
Even in going overboard, Tommy.
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00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:23,980
For instance, these pictures.
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00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:29,260
Either throw them away or put them up on
the wall like anybody else would do.
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00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:36,340
That goes for these dresses and that
album of records she gave you that you
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00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:37,340
never play.
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00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:43,520
Remember what you told me the night she
chose you instead of me?
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00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,800
I took it like a man, you said.
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00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:48,520
All right.
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00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,620
Now you've lost.
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00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:56,200
So you take it like a man instead of a
crybaby.
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00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,020
If you weren't so loaded, I'd kick you
right in the teeth.
107
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:06,920
Well, since you're not going to kick me
right in the teeth, what I could do to
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00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,300
you, a little old theory.
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00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,020
A motiveless killing.
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00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,320
is a hundred to one shot.
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00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:19,080
What do you mean, what you could do to
my theory?
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00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:27,740
I could just ask one little question.
Just one little question and
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poof.
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00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,900
All your months of work down the drain.
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00:08:35,799 --> 00:08:37,299
Ah, what's the difference?
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00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,720
Let's go eat.
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00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,210
I want to hear that question.
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00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:52,990
Well?
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00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:58,290
That last line on your chart, Tommy, the
nice black one that represents
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00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,850
motiveless killings?
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00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:02,210
How do you know they're motiveless?
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00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:05,170
What do you mean, how do I know?
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00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:10,810
The only person who knows if a killing
is motiveless is the killer.
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00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:15,730
All you know, Tommy, is that the police
didn't find a motive.
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00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,680
Not that there wasn't one.
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00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:28,520
There is no getting around it, my boy.
There's only one thing to do. Yes, only
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00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:29,760
one thing.
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00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,520
Prove your own theory, my boy.
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00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:41,180
Commit... Commit a motiveless murder.
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00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,200
Then you'll know that the killing was
motiveless.
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00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,830
what my little old question can do to
your little old theory.
132
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,730
Good evening, madam.
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00:10:04,610 --> 00:10:06,710
Theory and practice, Tommy.
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00:10:07,050 --> 00:10:08,530
Two different things.
135
00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:11,250
Pardon.
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00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,470
Oh, I beg your pardon, sir. Excuse me.
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00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:25,840
Tommy, there's no two ways about it.
That's just what you'll have to do.
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00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:32,280
Commit a motiveless murder, and then
maybe your little old chart might mean
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00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,280
something again.
140
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,780
Barkeep, may I have two dry martinis,
please?
141
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,100
We'll have to find you a victim, old
boy.
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00:10:55,330 --> 00:11:00,410
Ah. If that isn't the perfect place to
find a victim.
143
00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:08,150
New York. New York. No, no, not New
York.
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00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:09,850
Huh?
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00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:11,950
Los Angeles.
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00:11:12,950 --> 00:11:13,950
Pittsburgh.
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00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,250
Toledo. Chicago.
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00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:19,670
I never did like Chicago.
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00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:22,410
Let's take Chicago.
150
00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:24,310
All right.
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00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,580
One, two, three.
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00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:33,520
Tommy, here's your victim.
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00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,900
Jerome Stanton, 1661 Ridgely Road.
154
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:44,720
Jerome Stanton, the sacrificial lamb
picked by the finger of fate to be your
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00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:49,700
victim. Oh, mister, do you mind if I use
the telephone book?
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00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,020
Certainly, madam.
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00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:03,540
You don't even have to worry about
fingerprints, old boy. Just clout him on
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00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:09,200
old cervical vertebra. Just one clout on
the old cervical vertebra, homie, and
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00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,940
poof. No blood, just poof.
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00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,880
Here's to you, my boy.
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00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:26,280
Stanton Jerome, 1661 Ridgely Road.
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00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,000
What are you daydreaming about?
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00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,560
There he is, a thousand miles away,
doing all the normal things.
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00:12:57,340 --> 00:13:01,320
Never dreaming that just one small
detail separates him from death.
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00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:02,880
Who?
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00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,000
Stanton, the guy you picked for my
victim.
167
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,520
Stanton... Oh, him.
168
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,220
Boy, was I stoned last night.
169
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:17,320
My problem is how to get him in a
position to cloud him on his cervical
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00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,160
vertebra. His what?
171
00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:22,190
No, it's where you told me to cloud
them. What are you talking about?
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00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,250
Only it's not the cervical vertebra.
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00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:28,130
That's a fatal spot between the cervical
vertebra and the skull.
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00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:30,390
You were right. A small blow will do it.
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00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:33,930
You know, it's a funny thing.
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00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:38,750
Sober, I couldn't have remembered the
cervical vertebra if my life depended on
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00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:39,750
it.
178
00:13:41,090 --> 00:13:42,470
Are you still going to the convention?
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00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,950
Yeah, I'm leaving this afternoon. I'll
be back in a couple of days.
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00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:49,670
Let me get some coffee.
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00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,370
Come in.
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00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:12,950
Hi, here's the map you asked me for.
183
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:14,770
Thanks. It's your first time in Chicago?
184
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,890
Yeah. Well, thank you, sir.
185
00:15:09,730 --> 00:15:10,730
Stanton residence.
186
00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:12,550
Hello?
187
00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:13,850
Hello?
188
00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:15,550
Is Mr. Stanton there?
189
00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:18,030
No, this is the maid. Nobody's home.
190
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:23,670
Well, now, it's about time some of you
got around to calling us.
191
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,790
No, I'm not watching that particular
program.
192
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:31,130
Well, does Mr. Stanton have a favorite
program?
193
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:32,610
Well, he sure does.
194
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:35,930
There's one program he never misses, and
that's the fights.
195
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:40,000
Oh, he'll be home for them tomorrow
evening, all right.
196
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,600
Tomorrow.
197
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,480
Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
198
00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:47,840
No, no, that's all we're supposed to
ask.
199
00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:50,060
Goodbye.
200
00:15:55,980 --> 00:16:00,880
This card is self -explanatory, Mr.
Stanton.
201
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,640
What we're doing is of a rather unusual
nature, as you can see by the card. You
202
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,140
must have been the young man who called
this afternoon.
203
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,830
Well, just to make sure you'd be home.
204
00:16:08,170 --> 00:16:10,250
Sounds imposing. Very impressive. Come
on in.
205
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:16,230
Oh, so I'm to become a sampling at last.
206
00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:19,330
You know, I'd begun to think these poles
were a myth.
207
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,090
Well, I'm game.
208
00:16:27,990 --> 00:16:28,990
Will this do?
209
00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:31,010
Very nicely.
210
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:34,250
But before we begin, Mr. Stanton...
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00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:38,550
I must be certain that we can have 20
uninterrupted minutes. I'm all yours.
212
00:16:40,890 --> 00:16:42,470
It's now 7 .35.
213
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,590
You'll be finished in exactly 20
minutes.
214
00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,610
Of course, if that can't be arranged,
I'd rather not begin. Oh, don't worry.
215
00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:50,830
Fight night is Mr.
216
00:16:50,850 --> 00:16:51,850
Stanton's night at the movies.
217
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:53,930
Fine.
218
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,610
Now, what can I do for science?
219
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,440
Well, we're doing a research project,
Mr. Stanton, which we think is highly
220
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,440
significant.
221
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:12,180
We're attempting to determine if there
actually are emotional traits that can
222
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,640
specifically designated.
223
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:20,819
Now, for instance, we think of
tenderness as feminine, yet many men are
224
00:17:20,819 --> 00:17:21,819
of tenderness.
225
00:17:21,819 --> 00:17:26,260
We think of logic as masculine, yet,
well, women can be logical.
226
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,820
Now, of course, I'm not... Oh, may I sit
down? Oh, please do. Thank you.
227
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:36,180
I'm not going to ask you, are you
logical or do you feel tenderness?
228
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:39,260
That would make you the judge of your
own emotions.
229
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:43,980
Now, my questions are going to be more
indirect, like, have you cried since
230
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:44,980
you've grown up?
231
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,340
Oh, yes, I think the needles, the
thread, the buttons, feminine.
232
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:55,120
The hammer and so forth, masculine.
Exactly.
233
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:58,140
But they involve the second stage of the
test.
234
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:05,000
I'm now going to note down my personal
observations, Mr. Stanton. Your
235
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,160
appearance, the decor of the room,
things like that.
236
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,500
Oh, Mr. Stanton, in order to save time,
while I go ahead with the questioning,
237
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,680
would you be kind enough to sew that
button on the handkerchief?
238
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,400
Oh, sure.
239
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:23,780
Now, Mr. Stanton, what's your
occupation?
240
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,560
I'm a chemical engineer.
241
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:29,920
Your age?
242
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,080
36.
243
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,400
Any children?
244
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,740
No.
245
00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:47,880
Do you find it difficult to give someone
else the last word in an argument?
246
00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:51,380
I swear I always give Mrs. Stanton the
last word.
247
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,200
We're doing very well. You're being
extremely cooperative.
248
00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:58,460
I'm enjoying it immensely.
249
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:05,340
Now when you and your wife are out How
do you feel about rising when another
250
00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:12,220
comes to the table the spirit rebels,
but I get up And now the
251
00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:16,280
last question the one I asked in the
beginning have you cried since you were
252
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:21,880
grown man I Certainly had
253
00:19:27,939 --> 00:19:29,780
Now we're ready for the objective phase.
254
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,740
Mr. Stanton, if you'll take this tape
measure... Aren't you forgetting my
255
00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:42,740
button?
256
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:47,500
I hadn't better, not if I value my
assignments.
257
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,960
I saw a pretty mean button, don't you
think?
258
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,240
Well, we'll let that speak for itself.
259
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,940
Now, Mr. Stanton, if you'll take this
tape measure... All right.
260
00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:02,290
And if you don't mind getting down on
all fours.
261
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,910
And just open it up here near my foot.
262
00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:48,439
Come in.
263
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,680
The morning paper, sir. Is that the
final edition?
264
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:52,960
Yes, sir. Thank you.
265
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:55,060
Morning. Morning.
266
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:56,920
Well, morning, Tommy.
267
00:21:58,140 --> 00:22:00,140
Greetings. Greetings and salutations.
268
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,320
You going somewhere, Tommy?
269
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:06,100
Oh, have been.
270
00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:08,900
That's my dear boy, I have been.
271
00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:12,020
You're being pretty cagey with an old
pal.
272
00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:15,000
Well, you can read all about it in the
morning paper.
273
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,260
Listen. Dateline, Chicago.
274
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:26,760
Jerome Stanton, chemical engineer, 1661
Ridgely Road, was found murdered in his
275
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:27,760
home last night.
276
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,180
The police have already staked out a
suspect on a clue furnished by Mrs.
277
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:34,520
Stanton. When asked if she knew who
might have had a motive for the crime,
278
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:39,660
replied that her former husband, Tommy
Greer, must have found out it was for
279
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:41,160
Stanton that she left him.
280
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,360
Marion?
281
00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:47,520
Marion and Stanton, that's impossible.
282
00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:51,600
I could always outguess you, Tommy.
283
00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:55,220
It was just like drawing up a blueprint.
284
00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:58,700
You knew.
285
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,260
You knew all the time.
286
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,060
That name wasn't picked by chance.
287
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:06,360
You weren't even drunk that night.
288
00:23:06,620 --> 00:23:10,340
You took her away from me, Tommy. So did
he. Did you really think I wouldn't do
289
00:23:10,340 --> 00:23:11,340
anything about it?
290
00:23:11,540 --> 00:23:13,100
You meant for me to kill him.
291
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:14,920
To get rid of both of us.
292
00:23:29,580 --> 00:23:30,700
Which one of you is Greer?
293
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,520
Him, that's Greer.
294
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,060
Hundred to one shot, Tommy.
295
00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:38,400
That's what I told you.
296
00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:40,680
All right, come on, Greer, let's go.
297
00:24:19,179 --> 00:24:24,520
Well, that only goes to prove that you
can't be too careful about whom you
298
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:25,520
murder.
299
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,040
He might turn out to be someone you
don't like.
300
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,760
Next time we shall be back with another
story.
301
00:24:33,020 --> 00:24:35,360
Until then, good night.
22745
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